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View Full Version : bi-sexuals, do you let your hetero partners know that you are bi?


Cariaoke
Aug 13th, 2003, 04:44 PM
enquiring minds want to know. :D

and no, I'm not a bisexual, for real but I'm not sure if I would be adverse to being one. In short, I've looked at the menu but I haven't sampled the buffet. thank you. :tape:

Big Fat Pink Elephant
Aug 13th, 2003, 04:51 PM
In short, I've looked at the menu but I haven't sampled the buffet.

:lol:
sorry, can't help you, i'm in the same situation as you ;)

spokenword73
Aug 13th, 2003, 04:56 PM
there is an interesting article regarding this [url]www.washingtonpost.com/

by Jabari Asim on Monday

it talks about black men on the "down low"

Cariaoke
Aug 13th, 2003, 06:00 PM
ooh i'll go read it. :D

thanks.

decemberlove
Aug 13th, 2003, 06:12 PM
yeah, he knows
i didnt tell him right away, he just figured it out eventually since i dont make much of an effort to hide it.
his acceptance of it is prolly one of the reasons weve been together for almost three years, my previous boyfriends were not cool with it at all.

Cam'ron Giles
Aug 13th, 2003, 06:17 PM
I would never sleep with a woman without telling her...:D

Cariaoke
Aug 13th, 2003, 06:23 PM
thanks for the responses. :D

doloresc
Aug 13th, 2003, 06:28 PM
I would never sleep with a woman without telling her...:D

:bigclap:

Mrs. Peel
Aug 13th, 2003, 08:34 PM
I would never sleep with a woman without telling her...:D
:kiss:

SJW
Aug 13th, 2003, 08:36 PM
no Cari i havent told my men about u :p:tape::lol:

Bacardi
Aug 13th, 2003, 08:38 PM
Usually I never tell it, it just sort of comes out... I think my last boyfriend found out when he caught me flirting with one of my female friends... And when he asked me, I told him straight out "yeah, and if she wants me, I'll leave you for her too" :p

If someone leaves you just because you are bisexual, then they didn't love you to begin with.

tazban1
Aug 13th, 2003, 09:05 PM
I knew a guy who dated this girl he really liked. One day she came out and told him that she was bi and he dumped her after that.

I told him that was a pretty moronic reason to dump someone if he liked the other things about her.

I'd suggest that if you really like your significant other and you're not sure about how s/he feels about it that you wait a while before you tell them.

spokenword73
Aug 14th, 2003, 12:43 AM
Down Low

By Jabari Asim
Monday, August 11, 2003; 10:17 AM


WASHINGTON -- "We can keep it on the down low. Nobody has to know," R. Kelly once crooned in his trademark silky style. Kelly, an R&B superstar best known these days for his indictment last year on child pornography charges, scored a hit with a catchy ode to infidelity way back in 1995.


While the song may be nearly forgotten, its title -- "Down Low" -- remains very much in vogue. In current lingo, it describes black men who secretly engage in homosexual relationships while maintaining wives and girlfriends. Last week, both The Washington Post and The New York Times featured articles on the down low or "DL" lifestyle, which experts link to the soaring rates of HIV infection among African-American women.

The Centers for Disease Control estimate that black women accounted for nearly 64 percent of HIV cases among women in 2001. In 25 states with long-standing HIV reporting, the rate of HIV infection among African-American women ages 20 to 44 was four times higher than the rate among Latina women of the same age, and more than 16 times higher than the rate among white women. The leading cause of infection is heterosexual contact, according to the CDC. In other words, there's a whole lotta cheatin' goin' on.

The recent news coverage of men "on the DL" follows last month's publication of a controversial new study of sexual habits in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. David P. Schmitt surveyed 16,288 volunteers -- single, married and gay -- from all around the globe. He found that men on average said they wanted 5.95 sexual partners over the next 10 years. Women said they wanted 2.17.

The study has stirred up a long-standing debate among scientists. Schmitt, an evolutionary psychologist at Bradley University, believes the results help explain why men are more likely to be unfaithful. Promiscuity may be hardwired, he contends, like physical characteristics we inherit from our parents. Other scientists argue that the male inclination to sleep around is learned behavior, reinforced by a culture that values sexual experience in men.

Unfortunately such discussions don't shed much light on the disquieting DL phenomenon. Neither culture nor biology can justify the baffling behavior of black men who engage in unprotected sex with other men, then go home to infect their wives and girlfriends. Obviously, black men aren't the only males of the species living the DL life. But, as the numbers show, the consequences have been far deadlier.

Some men on the DL celebrate it as an act of defiance that frees them from the hidebound restrictions of society. Others see it as an inevitable reaction to the homophobia often found in black communities. Both perspectives fail to acknowledge that choosing to spread the risk of HIV virus to unsuspecting mates is the moral equivalent of terrorism. Careless jumping from partner to partner differs little from entering a crowded bus with explosives strapped around your waist. It may take longer for your victims to die, but you're blowing them up nonetheless.

However misguided their methods, suicide bombers have at least deluded themselves into believing they act on behalf of a cause. Down low men who carelessly spread disease can make no such claims. While homophobia is loathsome and inexcusable, it is not a license to kill. Blaming personal dishonesty and reckless behavior on anti-gay attitudes is like using racism as an excuse to rape and steal: It simply doesn't make sense.

Men on the DL aren't the only members of black communities with an apparent aversion to monogamy. To growing numbers of African-Americans, personal responsibility has become an inconvenient notion that gets in the way of getting one's groove on and "keepin' it real." Messages expressing the need to practice safe sex and attend to the needs of our families have not found receptive audiences, hindered in part by the contradictory example of too many prominent black men.

Jesse Jackson has fathered a child out of wedlock. NAACP President Kweisi Mfume fathered five children out of wedlock when he was a very young man. NBA forward Shawn Kemp has fathered seven children out of wedlock. The popular rapper known as Ol' Dirty Bastard has fathered 13 kids by "at least six" women, according to a recent VH-1 documentary.

While heterosexual straying is not so closely linked to AIDS, it is still cheating, and contributes just as much to the breakdown of African-American families. In that sense, straight philanderers are as DL as their secretly gay counterparts. Down low? Actually, low down is more like it.

Hot 92 Jamz
Aug 14th, 2003, 09:08 AM
bi-sexuals, do you let your hetero partners know that you are bi?

Always. It's really important to tell the person especially if they appear to be the type who's looking for a "serious" relationship. Everyone deserves to know.

http://images.viacomlocalnetworks.com/images_image_191131211

Cariaoke
Aug 14th, 2003, 12:37 PM
:yeah: to all the responses.

and babe, YOU ARE INSANE! :tape:

Jennifer's wife
Aug 14th, 2003, 01:20 PM
Got something u wanna get off your chest eh Cari?! :p Just go sample the buffet, shame to let al that lovely looking food go to waste ;) :lick:

Cariaoke
Aug 14th, 2003, 01:25 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol:

I want to get SJW off my chest. :tape:

no, the q came up in the 'ask blacks anything' thread. so I made a new thread on it. :D

I've always been curious because I've known bisexual men who have refused to tell their female partners about having sex with men.

Jennifer's wife
Aug 14th, 2003, 01:30 PM
well, if i was you i would go sample the goods before you risk getting dumped by your boyfreind!
my ex knew i liked women and he was ok with it, so i thought he might let me bring some home to play with if i let him watch.....but for some strange reason he didnt want to :confused: :unsure: anyways he got paranoid after a while that i would leave him as soon as a woman came along that i fancied coz he knew i liked women better. guess he was right, i woulda dun that! :o anyways, a cupla other blokes later and now im strictly a women only girl! :lick: it makes life less complicated i think :)

SJW
Aug 14th, 2003, 08:20 PM
:yeah: to all the responses.

and babe, YOU ARE INSANE! :tape:

insane about you :tape::p:lol:

SJW
Aug 14th, 2003, 08:20 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol:

I want to get SJW off my chest. :tape:

no, the q came up in the 'ask blacks anything' thread. so I made a new thread on it. :D

I've always been curious because I've known bisexual men who have refused to tell their female partners about having sex with men.

i dont want to get off ur chest :tape:

Avid Merrion
Aug 14th, 2003, 10:01 PM
Yes, honesty is the best policy.

Besides, I'm shit at keeping secrets :tape:

go hingis
Aug 15th, 2003, 05:18 AM
I can't speak from experience, IMO honesty is the best policy the person should choose if they want to date a biosexual. Maybe that turns them off, maybe it turns them on, but to save either of you from getting hurt, just tell them the truth. Also many people especially on Jerry springer think it's ok to cheat on your partner with the same sex, IMO cheating is cheating. Personally I'ld want to die if I knew the lips of my boyfriend that I was kissing have been on some other guys c**k. For some funny reason I think females being with females isn't as bad as males being together, no offense. I also have notice females can complement each other where straight males can't, maybe their hiding something.

Cassius
Aug 15th, 2003, 05:50 AM
I also have notice females can complement each other where straight males can't, maybe their hiding something.
It's not just you who's noticed it, everyone knows it.
Men just don't. The best compliment a man can expect from a straight male friend is, "Nice jacket/car."

danra
Aug 15th, 2003, 02:23 PM
yep, always honest. and make a point of pointing out that doesn't mean am likely to have a bit on the side or anything like that.

Bacardi
Aug 15th, 2003, 06:01 PM
Quick note to bis2806 on what I wrote above.

The reason I would have left him so easily for the girl, is because I love the girl, and have for about 5 years now... But we are just friends, altho we talk about the possibility of taking it to the next level. I will have to move to achieve that, and I'm probably moving in a few months, just so we can work on being together... as she's still in college. So it was a case over true love (that I have for my friend) :hearts:

The only reason I dated the guy to begin with was all wrong... I done it to be nice to him, and also because I didn't know any other way to get him to leave me alone. He was basically stalking me, and I was scared if I didn't go with him, he'd do something horrible to me and to who I really wanted. So I went out with him, and didn't treat him very well... Hoping he'd leave me alone. So far he has, but he's gotten threats from a lot of my friends/family to leave me alone, and that's probably why. He was also a sex addict and would litterally force me, if I wasn't into it. :mad: :fiery:

decemberlove
Aug 15th, 2003, 06:22 PM
a lot of my boyfriends couldnt handle the fact i was into girls cos i would still mess around with girls. they thought it was cheating, i thought [knew] i didnt give a shit. i do what i want, and yes, im selfish.

Big Fat Pink Elephant
Aug 16th, 2003, 02:42 PM
a lot of my boyfriends couldnt handle the fact i was into girls cos i would still mess around with girls. they thought it was cheating, i thought [knew] i didnt give a shit. i do what i want, and yes, im selfish.
:bowdown:

:devil:

hey joy :D

AmErIcAn
Aug 16th, 2003, 08:38 PM
of course u have to be honest with ur partner!
I am if they cant handle so what? i am hu i am and nothings gonna change that! Im with a girl @ the moment neway! so guys can f off

~ The Leopard ~
Aug 17th, 2003, 12:43 AM
Bi girls! Yum. :lick:

Martian Willow
Aug 17th, 2003, 01:05 AM
The problem for me is I don't know if I am bi or not. Well, at the moment I do, and I'm not, but other times I think I might be. But I don't think I am. Because I'm not. Anyways, I would imagine honesty is the best policy in the long run, because being 'faithful' isn't just about sex, it's about trust, so it doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman...sorry if I don't appear to know what I'm talking about, I only wanted to post in this thread to say that I don't think there should be an apostrophe in Jennifer's wife. Thanks. :)

Jennifer's wife
Aug 17th, 2003, 01:14 AM
course there should be an apostrophe!! the "wife" belongs to "jennifer" therefore the apostrophe denotes that! ill forgive u questioning my greater knowledge if English is not your mother tongue! ;)

Martian Willow
Aug 17th, 2003, 01:28 AM
course there should be an apostrophe!! the "wife" belongs to "jennifer" therefore the apostrophe denotes that! ill forgive u questioning my greater knowledge if English is not your mother tongue! ;)

Hhhmm...well, English is my mother tongue...what with being English and everything (...that's no guarantee of course...), but it's a long time since I did grammar...or paid any attention to it...I was good at it though...and it just looks wrong to me. It appears to say Jennifer is wife, or Jennifer has wife, or even Jennifer was wife...I think Jennifers' wife would look better...or less wrong...hhhmm...Thanks. :)

Jennifer's wife
Aug 17th, 2003, 01:44 AM
well the apostrophe afterwards can be used to indicate ownership, but its usually when there is more than one, like wen the first word is a plural. as in the policemens' hats. the hats belonging to lots of policemen. in my case there is only one Jennifer that i am the wife of! the apostrophe has two functions....one is yes to show that there is a word or letter missed out, but the other is to show how one word belongs to the other. i know, sometimes words just look wrong, but trust me...its gramatically correct ;)

decemberlove
Aug 17th, 2003, 01:51 AM
jennifer's wife is correct.

the s' is only used in plural possession or when the name ends with s.

Jennifer's wife
Aug 17th, 2003, 01:55 AM
jennifer's wife is correct.

the s' is only used in plural possession or when the name ends with s.

i know ;)

decemberlove
Aug 17th, 2003, 01:55 AM
do U still mess around with girls :angel: :kiss: :wavey:

How did U survive the blackout- wait- south Jersey wasn't affected right??

yes, i do :kiss:

and no, we werent affected. but you were, werent you?

CC
Aug 17th, 2003, 06:01 AM
That's all fine and dandy, but what is this --> policemens'

Here's what I reckon: policemen is already plural, so it would still be policemen's hats.

Amadé
Aug 17th, 2003, 06:29 AM
That's all fine and dandy, but what is this --> policemens'

Here's what I reckon: policemen is already plural, so it would still be policemen's hats.
http://community.kournikova.com/images/smilies/king.gif Well, what you "reckon" is correct. It would be or is "policemen's hats."

decemberlove
Aug 17th, 2003, 07:06 AM
That's all fine and dandy, but what is this --> policemens'

Here's what I reckon: policemen is already plural, so it would still be policemen's hats.


yes. policemens isnt a word :)

monicain
Aug 17th, 2003, 09:33 AM
a lot of my boyfriends couldnt handle the fact i was into girls

One guy I knew once talked to me "I can't stand Vaginas, they're so flat " ;)

Jennifer's wife
Aug 18th, 2003, 02:52 PM
yes. policemens isnt a word :)

yes i was gettin lost in examples and it was about 4am for me at the time i think!! :yawn: :confused: i just knew i was right about Jennifer!! ;)

CC
Aug 18th, 2003, 02:56 PM
It's ok, we don't usually hang on a first offense.

Jennifer's wife
Aug 18th, 2003, 04:16 PM
:lol: