that just sums up how i feel at the moment... i've just got up now cos i went to bed at 5.30am... i feel awful, the sky is so dark outside though it is 2.45pm, and so grey, the rain still coming down
congrats to jen and her fans for winning, and i'm still so proud of martina
life goes on, hopefully soon we'll be :bounce: instead of :sad:
Jan 26th, 2002, 07:53 PM
i'm like almost totally devoid of any emotions now
just sort of, existing
that match was surreal
Jan 26th, 2002, 08:52 PM
To be honest, I was much more alright last night when I saw it happen. Now, when I woke up this morning, it hit me what she really let slip away. *sigh*
Only 4 months til the French.
Jan 26th, 2002, 09:07 PM
I know what you mean - i got up 3:30 in the morning to see the match and after Martina's great speech I went to bed again at 6:00 and it was so sad to see her with tears in her eyes, while jennifer was celebrating.....
but: Martina - Roland Garros 2002 is yours - I still believe in you!
Jan 26th, 2002, 09:16 PM
You know when you get the feeling your heart is like... sunk in your body?
...and you can't fix it, and you just wish it'd go away, because its tearing you up inside, and you can't concentrate on anything else, but this horrible feeling you have.
You feel like its the end of the world, and you wish it were.
You know in your head that you will keep on loving and supporting, but your heart feels like it can't anymore.
Nothing left to give.
You hope to god that the people you are thinking of, don't feel half as bad as you do right now, but you KNOW that they have to be feeling even worse.
You just wished that they could know your support, and it kills you to think that they might not know, how much you care and want to support them. And that they might be feeling so insecure and unsure.
And you really feel like crying for them, but who to cry to? No one around who cares.
You just keep wishing and wishing, it had turned out differently, and you get so exausted, mentally.
But you can't sleep, cos you know that the moment you close your eyes, you'll see the look on their face. That one of despair and anguish, that you just wish you could fix with a hug. And all the emotions that are on their face, and all the emotions you're feeling now, would come rushing back, and you'll break down and cry.
In fact, every time you hear their name, or see anything that reminds you of it, tears well up, and you get a lump in your throat you can't get down.
You try to stop thinking about it, but the scene just keeps replaying in your mind.
You want to be positive, because you know in your mind, that there'll be brighter days ahead, but your heart's just not letting you.
You try to be big about it all, but you just don't have it in you, after countless hours of teary daydreams. You want to act happy for those around you, but this feeling is so strong you can't even remember why you're trying to act happy.
The people around you, don't know, don't understand. They don't get it. They tell you to get over it, because you've really been grieving for a long time, but you can't. And you just wish that they'd shut up, and stop acting so flippant about it.
You know, there will be better days, but you cannot look forward because it'd hurting you so much just to lift your head, let alone your heart.
Jan 26th, 2002, 11:23 PM
I know what you mean, and even though Martina isn't my big favourite player I really felt bad for her - words can't discribe how bad I feel for her.
I just can't imagine how you, her fans feel and most importantly, how Martina must feel.
God bless you Martina - you have a big heart.
I'm sure she'll be back with avengiance! :)
Jan 26th, 2002, 11:40 PM
I definitely feel like destructo_girl. I kinda try to distance myself from the loss but it's tough and I had trouble falling asleep but then I really did have a beautiful dream where Martina was standing somewhere letting red clay run through her fingers into the wind. She had this look on her face that she knew that the clay could become her friend if she could play as well as she has been playing. It was really a very positive dream that I had and I believe Martina was classy afterwards and Jen too for that matter. She will bounce back and so will we.
Jan 27th, 2002, 01:00 AM
DG i feel just like you:sad:
My friends are really trying to cheer me up but they never will find the right words because they don't know this feeling.But i really love them:kiss:
I also love you guys of the mp and i think that we understand eachother and we know how everyone is feeling right now.But in my heart hopes lives one and in my mind i know that Martina will overcome this!Just like all the other problems!
Jan 27th, 2002, 01:30 AM
You couldn't have said it any better how I am feeling right now...I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only one who feels like this :sad: