View Full Version : Homage to the Microwave Oven. The best thing about radiation.

Apr 10th, 2003, 01:06 AM
I'd be a lost soul without my microwave, (I pined for it when I almost blew up the last one by putting a samosa in it whilst pissed up, then going out of the room only to set the smoke alarms blaring off, waking a thoroughly irate dad who found charred remains of said samosa inside and a ruined microwave.) it's what radiation was invented for!

Microwaves heat food in extra quick time, we know this.... Stuff from Macaroni cheese right through to whole Beef dinners, pasta dishes and curries. Hey you could invite a girl back to your house and just bung your meal in the microwave from one of those trays... although I wouldn't recommend doing that, not unless you thought it was going a bit wrong and you wanted her to leave.

You can even get microwavable doner kebabs... Somerfield (UK Supermarket's) aren't bad (when I say not bad they can just about pass off as a kebab)...

But apart from food, what else can we use them for?

Surely not entertainment I hear you cry? Cry longer ye not, for thou will be chastened enlightenment forthwith.

1) The Green Grape Fireball Extravaganza.

Get a green grape (purple just don't work motha), and cut it in half (not fully in half tho) and place it in the microwave on a microwavable dish. Press it down to allow some juices to escape. Turn it on for 5 seconds.

Result - Balls of fire will eminate from the grape.

2) The Milk and the Lightbulb Show

Get a glass (normal size, not a pint glass) and fill it half way up with milk. Place a lightbulb (just yer ordinary lightbulb, doesn't matter what wattage or fitting (Bayonet or Screwcap), in the glass of milk. Put it in the microwave for three seconds.

Result. The lightbulb lights up.

3) The Remake of Tron on CD.

Get a CD. Preferably not a good one, just one of those ISP ones you get through the door, like AOL 500 hours trialcon, or a Duran Duran one. This time, just place it in the microwave and turn it on for three seconds.

Result - If you've ever seen Tron before, you'll know what I mean.

Of course the above three microwave things are highly dangerous if not done properly. I suggest you take the following precautions.

A) Use someone elses microwave (like your school sixth form common room, hey, thats what I did!)
B) Wear goggles (for eye safety or purely as a fashion statement)
c) Never put a smiley face in a microwave. If you do, it'll end up like the one in the attachment below.

Take care of yourselves, and respect the radiation.

Apr 11th, 2003, 02:25 AM
Come on, surely you use these things.

King Satan
Apr 11th, 2003, 08:35 AM
aww yes, the microwave oven. It's the greatest invention ever, how else would i be able to warm up my 3 day old pizza lol (oven would take too long)

Praise to the microwave oven :worship:

Apr 11th, 2003, 08:38 AM
i havent used my microwave oven since the last time i cooked k in it.


i dont like leftovers... refuse to eat them. ill eat one day old pizza but i heat it in the oven. taste better that way.

i either use the toaster oven or stove. never the microwave. it makes food icky

Apr 11th, 2003, 08:43 AM
It's ideal to make lasagne. in an oven it tooks 35 minutes and then the lasagne might still not be totally ready, in the magnetron 10 (and no chance that the cheese gets brown and hard)

Apr 11th, 2003, 04:57 PM
The worst thing is though if you put Naan breads in and leave em in for just a few seconds too long, the outside becomes rock hard.

Apr 11th, 2003, 10:32 PM
When we first got a microwave, many moons ago, we accidently put a plate with mettalic paint on its rim, in the microwave...cue a storm of lightning such as that which accompanies time travel in the Terminator movies.

Other than that, I live on Micro Chips, despite the fact they taste a bit like cardboard...they are quick. :)

Apr 12th, 2003, 12:11 AM
The "Mega Micro Chips" aren't actually that bad, dunno if you have tried any others in the McCain "Micro" range...

Micro Chicken Wings (well, Chris wouldn't have had any of these) - You'd kinda get the feeling these would be really nice if they actually had a bit more meat on em. Too much wing and not enough chicken, but not bad all the same.

Micro Chicken Nuggets - Reconstituted Chicken Mush in breadcrumbs. Avoid.

Micro Pizza. - Don't overcook these or they will taste like cardboard. Not a patch on Chicago Town Pizzas which are nice.

Micro Toastie - Brilliant! Our toastie machine is on the blink so these are a very good alternative. Only available in Cheese and Ham tho I think.

Micro Garlic Bread (Garlic Bread?) - It's garlic bread for lazy sods... and it's not bad at all, worth checking out.