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Pamela Shriver
Mar 25th, 2003, 10:38 PM
Hey there tennis *cough* I mean Pam fans! This is the thread you guys have been waiting for. A place for Pam worship and questions also.

An audience with pam and friends......... Please come in and enjoy the wisdom of the PHS......

BigTennisFan
Mar 25th, 2003, 10:43 PM
Hey there tennis *cough* I mean Pam fans! This is the thread you guys have been waiting for. A place for Pam worship and questions also.

An audience with pam and friends......... Please come in and enjoy the wisdom of the PHS......

If this was serious I suspect that it would get mighty lonely up in here.
But it might be a hoot just fer fun. :D

billie_jean_king
Mar 25th, 2003, 10:48 PM
What gives you a right to a thread like this? Do you really believe that people want to talk to you?

I'm far more important than you. I invented tennis. People worship me. (Jen doesn't though :sad: )

SueBarker
Mar 25th, 2003, 10:53 PM
Shut up Billie. Pam's fab. She's the best golfing partner I've had for ages. She and I like nothing better than to play around a round. We both love to go for long walks through some of the most beautiful wildlife and scenery that surrounds the best golf courses in the world. Pam's great company. And every Pam Day, she and I go out on the piss just after we've finished doing the highlights show for the BBC. Some of the stuff Pammie gets upto is hysterical. She does a fantastic karaoke version of 'Goldfinger'.

Wimbledon is my highlight of the year, because that's when I get Pam-Time!

ClareBalding
Mar 25th, 2003, 10:57 PM
I second that Suzy. I like nothing better than going pant suit shopping with Pam in Knightsbridge during Wimby. She's going to show me a great place to buy some Pam-pantaloons this year.

And besides, she's the only person in the world with a lower voice than moi.

SueBarker
Mar 25th, 2003, 11:02 PM
Well, if Pam wants questions then I have some:
1. When you come to the UK to Pammentate at Wimbledon, do you stock up at Long Tall Sally or do have little problem getting clothes in the States?
2. That 16th hole we played on middle Sunday. Did you really hit the ball that far?
3. Is George all you expected?
4. Would you like to come to my house for dinner sometime soon?
5. If I get to do coverage for the French Open (which I won in 1976) can we go out on the piss again one night? That time in the Moulin Rouge was one hell of a night I'll never forget. It was so funny when we had to get bailed out of the police cell the next morning.
6. What advice would you give to someone who wanted to be you?

I'll think of some more, but in the meantime, love ya Pam!

Pamela Shriver
Mar 25th, 2003, 11:18 PM
Hey there Sue, hows it hanging?

Anyways, here are some answers for ya:

1. I get my clothes specially tailored. George knows a fine tailor who makes all my suits and golfing slacks. Failing that I design my own PAMMY label. Neat huh?
2. Yes I did. Remember I am 34ft taller than you Suzy I can pack a mean punch. Besides, they just returned the ball to me from where it landed (Peru).
3.George is more than I expected! (Literally, the guy was wearing a corset when we married. His gut was a shock on wedding night :eek: )
4. Yep, just get those leaves on the barbecue girl!
5. Oh jeez for sure! But we're not going into the kareoke bar again. I mean, its not fair that people have to compare with my singing "Its Raining Pam". Anyways they said my vowels damaged the Lourve.
6. Well, it would take years and years of Pam-dedication to get even close to me. Low vowels, ping-pong excellence and being stretched to 50ft would help. As would being able to enjoy a good beer. And being GREAT. (and a hullava lot of modesty)

Love ya suzy! :kiss:

-Sonic-
Mar 25th, 2003, 11:24 PM
How many curls per inch is ideal for a 'pam-perm'?

Pamela Shriver
Mar 25th, 2003, 11:26 PM
You mean the official "Pam-fro" style... I'd say about at least 8 curls, but hey I'm not fussy!

Snuffkin
Mar 25th, 2003, 11:28 PM
WOW! What a thread! Thanks Pam for making a fan very happy. Having the chance to interact with you is beyond my wildest dreams.

Some questions for you:
1. Which is your favourite Grand Slam title that you won?
2. What do you really think of Chris Evert?
3. Which player currently active do you like the most and why?
4. Is it true that Martina Navratilova told you in private that it was you who held your union together and was the better player?
5. Which is your favourite tournament to Pammentate on?
6. How did it feel when you were inducted into the Hall Of Fame?
7. Why is there no Pam memorabilia in the Wimbledon souvenir store?
8. What is the one wish you still have left to fulfil?
9. What was your childhood ambition?
10. Who was your toughest opponent?

Thanks Pam. :kiss:

Pamela Shriver
Mar 25th, 2003, 11:39 PM
Hey snuffkin - well as the saying goes, A PamFan of Mine is a Friend of mine. Also.

1. *cough*
2. Chris wears nice golfing slacks.
3. I am enjoying any player called PAM. I kinda like ones that are at least 15ft also.
4. yeah it is...I don't like telling people it... BUT YES I CARRIED THE PARTNERSHIP.
5. Wimbledon, sheesh the fans there are amazing. I get people wearing tshirts with my face on! Or perhaps more importantly, I get fans.
6. The HoF was the greatest day in my life. I owe Martina for that. Just a shame it took so long for me to be inducted. I shouldve been there since 78.
7. Because it sells out within seconds of the gates opening!!
8. *see question 1*
9. To be adored by the masses. I'm not one to blow my own trumpet but I achieved this dream.
10. Mmmm the ones who beat me love & love..... so every player I ever played against....

Keep up the PamFanDom :kiss:

Xavier_Malisse
Mar 25th, 2003, 11:45 PM
Hey Pam...

As you may be aware, I have been a source of ridicule for a while now, so I thought I'd ask for your help seeing as you too know that feeling. Anyway, I find it difficult to live down the fact that I couldn't up with Jen sexually. I'm sure that being around the tour, you have your own Jen stories (could you share them with us please?) so you may have an insight into her character and understand why she was so demanding. However, I know that you have super-human stamina in that giraffe way of yours, so how can I improve mine in order to win Jen back?

Pamela Shriver
Mar 25th, 2003, 11:54 PM
Howdy Xav.....

First of all, you need a backbone (and preferrably one thats 80ft high)

Jen is one of those one in a million characters (like me also). Strong women rockz this world Xav, something george had to learn when he married me! I could tell you about some of the times I hit the town with Jen but I think your innocent little ears would be damaged to hear such X rated tales....

Xavier_Malisse
Mar 25th, 2003, 11:56 PM
So you know Jen as a bit of a goer? That's not a surprise. She's a great woman. I miss her lots. Do you think I have a chance of winning her back and if so, what should I do to get her back? Use your insider knowledge to help me please.

I luvs ya Pammers! :hearts: :kiss:

Pamela Shriver
Mar 26th, 2003, 12:06 AM
I think this is your To Do list Xav:

a) Get a personality
b) Start marathon training to build stamina
c) Get a personality

But its a tall ask. I'd aim a bit lower... I hear Annabel Croft is available...

Xavier_Malisse
Mar 26th, 2003, 12:07 AM
Thanks for that Pam. I'll give it a go. I'll try anything for Jen.

Pamela Shriver
Mar 26th, 2003, 12:11 AM
....and as an aside.....try swotting up on The Joy of Sex books....

billie_jean_king
Mar 26th, 2003, 12:12 AM
Yeah, I've got more chance with her right now. At least she's thinking of playing Fed Cup again. I'll get her...just you wait and see!

Pam - some questions
1. Which of MY titles do you wish you had won?
2. Do you wish you were Fed Cup captain, but can't be because I am?
3. Do you wish that the Pamfro was as important as my stupid glasses?
4. Is your marriage a sham?
5. Why did you never play doubles with Rosie Casals?

Pamela Shriver
Mar 26th, 2003, 12:24 AM
Billie. What. A. Pleasure. *cough*

1. I would have liked your Wimby singles title in 1969...oh no wait Ann Jones kicked you ass didn't she!?
2. I'm. Not. Bitter. About. NOT. Being. Fed. Cup. Captain. At. All. :mad:
3. The Pam-fro is the most important fashion statement in the world so there.
4. How long were *you* married for Ms Moffett?
5. Rosie's pink clothes clashed with giraffe print. Besides you got in there first.

SueBarker
Mar 26th, 2003, 12:40 AM
Ooh, I see the company around here has dropped. I'll resurrect it for you Pam. It's the least you deserve.

Actually Pam while I'm here could you help me out with something? I've been wondering just why on earth you have a man's name as a middle name? Why Howard? Did your parents want you to be a boy?

Also...
1. What is your fave TV programme?
2. What is your favourite book?
3. Who is your favourite actor?
4. How does it feel when your entire homeland celebrates your birthday in such amazing style?
5. If you could be anyone for just a day, who would it be and why?

Pamela Shriver
Mar 26th, 2003, 12:47 AM
Welcome back Suzy btw, I love your pastell colored silky shirts where can I get some??

1. Wildlife on One. (Its like they saw my life and put it on screen)
2. Passing Shots by Pamela Shriver (oh thats me!)
3. Pierce Brosnan. Oooo I mean George Lazenby!
4. PamDay 4th July...wow well its a great honor! But c'mon its nothing less than I deserve so it feels normal now in my 40th wonderful yr.
5. Peter Fleming. He's an inch taller. I'd like to know whether that would have helped my ping-pong serves get over that damn net!

billie_jean_king
Mar 26th, 2003, 12:56 AM
While you 'ladies' *ahem* are talking fashion, does anyone know where I can get a lurid pink pant suit?

Pamela Shriver
Mar 26th, 2003, 01:00 AM
For your size you should try the tent stores.

SueBarker
Mar 26th, 2003, 01:02 AM
Welcome back Suzy btw, I love your pastell colored silky shirts where can I get some??

Next time you're in the UK, we must go shopping sometime. I'll show you the high-fashion outlets I patronise. I find Marks and Spencer so good for those basic items you need. It's such a fine store - you can get underwear there too. I also like to browse the racks at 'Principles'. We really must go shopping together sometime soon.

SueBarker
Mar 26th, 2003, 01:04 AM
While you 'ladies' *ahem* are talking fashion, does anyone know where I can get a lurid pink pant suit?

Hey Billie, I hear Rosie might know. She did after all, find this somewhere...
http://www.photoworld.freeserve.co.uk/cp-images/RC-WP2-00-11a.jpg

I reckon it was a charity shop. Then again, maybe you could just ask Rosie if you could borrow hers. I think you're both the same enormous size these days.

Pamela Shriver
Mar 26th, 2003, 01:09 AM
Great idea Sue! although I hope they do tall sizes. I've squidged into petit sizes in the past and although I can carry it off coz I'm Pam, I would like clothes to fit exact. Think last time i was over I bought some nice things in High and Mighty.
I'll treat you too a leaf coffee in PamShriverRockzCafe too...

SueBarker
Mar 26th, 2003, 01:11 AM
Can't we go for high tea at Fortnum and Mason's? I do so like it there - so proper. Ginny introduced me to it when I was a newbie on the tour. I get all my refinement from her. We simply must do cucumber sandwiches someday!

Virginia Wade
Mar 26th, 2003, 01:18 AM
Young Susan, you need work on your etiquette one believes. Last time we had afternoon tea one had to hide my embarrassment behind my napkin - belching is simply most indecerous.

As for you Ms Shriver one believes you are a lost cause. But you get brownie points for effort.

CliffRichard
Mar 26th, 2003, 01:22 AM
Sue! :hearts: There you are! Why won't you answer my calls :sad:

SueBarker
Mar 26th, 2003, 01:23 AM
Sue! :hearts: There you are! Why won't you answer my calls :sad:

Umm...cos I've been busy doing things. Anyway Cliff, I'm married these days. Your celibacy simply wasn't practical for me. btw, have you er...changed that yet?

CliffRichard
Mar 26th, 2003, 01:28 AM
Oh you were busy. I thought you were just washing your hair. Celibacy? Its not by choice Suzy dear...it was thrust upon me.

SueBarker
Mar 26th, 2003, 01:30 AM
Well, whatever the truth, I'm happily married these days. But Lance wouldn't mind if you came round for dinner one night. We could laugh about the old days...when I was young, pretty, blonde, wearing gold lame, winning the French Open in 1976...

Pamela Shriver
Mar 26th, 2003, 01:37 AM
.....Or better still you guys can all come round to one of our Shriver-Lazenby barbecues where I can tell you amusing tales of my tennis career antics over a good beer.
But if you dare even sing a note Cliff then you're being barred from Baltimore.

billie_jean_king
Mar 26th, 2003, 01:41 AM
What a horrible thought - all you lot in one place.

Pamela Shriver
Mar 26th, 2003, 01:42 AM
And what an even more horrible thought - You.

John Inverdale
Mar 26th, 2003, 03:53 PM
Giraffe.

Who do you think is the better tennis player. Anna, or Annabel?

And watch what you say considering I have significant leverage in the BBC. If you know what I mean.

raquel
Mar 26th, 2003, 06:50 PM
This thread is hilarious!

Pam - Whatever happened to that hunk John, the guy you were dating during Passing Shots?!
And do you still rate dancing with George Bush Senior the highlight of your career?

Keith
Mar 26th, 2003, 07:21 PM
Pam...I have a question....

Why do you always sit so close to Mary Joe in the commentating booth? And did you have to wrap your arms around her after Jen won the AO 2001? I know it was emotional...but it looked a bit odd as you tried to console Mary Joe on a happy moment....Just an observation.

paul_masterton
Mar 26th, 2003, 08:43 PM
Hi Pam. I love you so much, i'm a 17 year old guy who has taken his obssession with you to the limit. I'm going to have a sex change to look like you, then change my name.

Have you ever had plastic sugery and can you recommend a good clinic?

Also Sue, Tim Henman is so overrated.

GoDominique
Mar 26th, 2003, 08:48 PM
Pam - I have 2 questions:

1. What were your thoughts when you were leading 6-1 4-0 in the Fed-Cup doubles match 1987 with Chris against Steffi and Claudia ?
2. What were your thoughts when you had just lost that match 6-1 5-7 4-6 ?

SueBarker
Mar 26th, 2003, 09:48 PM
Also Sue, Tim Henman is so overrated.

Pfft! Well, whatever you think of his talent, he does have lovely teeth.

CondiLicious
Mar 26th, 2003, 09:49 PM
Hey Pam! My questions are:

1. Who was your first love?
2. Why do so many people think you like pussy?

CondiLicious
Mar 26th, 2003, 09:51 PM
Pfft! Well, whatever you think of his talent, he does have lovely teeth.

I agree! His teeth are a very fetching shade of light yellow. I've been looking for some paint that color for ages!

Helen Lawson
Mar 26th, 2003, 10:00 PM
Miss Shriver: Have you ever thought about making a movie with your husband (not of the Tonya Harding/Jeff Gillolley variety) or otherwise considered a career in show business?

CondiLicious
Mar 26th, 2003, 10:14 PM
Miss Shriver: Have you ever thought about making a movie with your husband (not of the Tonya Harding/Jeff Gillolley variety) or otherwise considered a career in show business?

How about of the Pammy and Tommy kind?

I have another question...

What's Martina like?

Pamela Shriver
Mar 26th, 2003, 11:12 PM
Who do you think is the better tennis player. Anna, or Annabel?

John Inverdale dear, its irrelevant who is better...as I am twice the player either of them ever were. (Literally, I am twice the height)

Pam - Whatever happened to that hunk John, the guy you were dating during Passing Shots?!
He only loved me for my vowels. I saw through him eventually.

And do you still rate dancing with George Bush Senior the highlight of your career?
Of course. I should think dancing with *anyone* would be the highlight of a career like mine...

Why do you always sit so close to Mary Joe in the commentating booth? And did you have to wrap your arms around her after Jen won the AO 2001? I know it was emotional...but it looked a bit odd as you tried to console Mary Joe on a happy moment....Just an observation.

First I must correct ya - its the "Pammentating" booth... And I don't sit close to her, she sits close to ME. Its the adoration she holds for her idol PHS. I can't remember why I wrapped my arms around MJ when Jen won the AO...I was in the zone of class one Pammentating, plus it was one mighty fine match. We were both delirious.

Have you ever had plastic sugery and can you recommend a good clinic?
One look at my mighty looks c'mon like I'd EVER need plastic sugery!! (although there were some rough times during my bad hair days when it was tempting) Good luck in achieving your ambition of looking like me. If only everyone would follow your lead, the world would be a better place.

1. What were your thoughts when you were leading 6-1 4-0 in the Fed-Cup doubles match 1987 with Chris against Steffi and Claudia ?
I thought: YAY! :bounce:

2. What were your thoughts when you had just lost that match 6-1 5-7 4-6 ?
I thought: NOOOoooooooooo :sad:

1. Who was your first love?
Myself. Failing that, Donnie Osmond.

2. Why do so many people think you like pussy?
Dunno. Strange rumour really as I've never had a cat in my life. I'm more of a giraffe person.

Miss Shriver: Have you ever thought about making a movie with your husband (not of the Tonya Harding/Jeff Gillolley variety) or otherwise considered a career in show business?
I get offers all the time! But my pammentating commitments mean I can't accept many especially the Bond girl roles. I already have a career in show business though, I star in Wildlife on One as well as Animal Farm.

SueBarker
Mar 26th, 2003, 11:20 PM
Hi Pam. This is so nice. I don't have to wait for Wimbledon and middle weekend in Paris to talk to you.

A quickie for you - one look at Chris these days and you can see just how badly she's aged. Considering that she was around at the same time you and I were, why do you think she looks so bad and we look so good? I mean, we both have flawless complexions, not ruined by over-exposure to the sun, and we look years younger than Evert. So, why do you think it is? And if you can't some up with an answer, let's just bitch about Chris, because I was, and still am, so much better looking than her!

Pamela Shriver
Mar 26th, 2003, 11:28 PM
Howdy Sue :kiss: I guess old Chrissie does look like a used tea-bag thats been left out in the sun for too long. I think its because we my friend have lived such enriched lives full of adoration and stardom...I mean, I can't get in to see X rated movies they think I'm too young! While Chris gets delivered meals-on-wheels mistaken for an OAP. I told her all those bottles of Gin would catch up on her...

CondiLicious
Mar 26th, 2003, 11:33 PM
Dunno. Strange rumour really as I've never had a cat in my life. I'm more of a giraffe person.

haha

SueBarker
Mar 26th, 2003, 11:36 PM
So glad to know that you agree with me on Chrissie looking like an old hag. Next question Pam...seeing as today we've witnessed young Jennifer Capriati (who, btw, was meant to follow in Chris's footsteps but told her to f**k off - so I like her) what do you make of Miss Jennifer? I understand that her birthday is looming and therefore so is World Jen Day, so it looks like a good party will be had by her and whoever the lucky people who get invited are. But what are your impressions of Jen and her kicking-Chris's-ass ways?

PS. Is George still alive?

Pamela Shriver
Mar 26th, 2003, 11:47 PM
Jen winning the AO in 01 made an old giraffe very happy. That girl has it all she's fiesty, complex, hilarious, multi-talented, party animal, at times mis-understood....She's more me than I am. (especially the talented bit) We are kindred spirits! Besides she told BJK where to get off, she just said what we were all thinking right Sue??

PS. (does that stand for PamShriver!??! I'm taking over the world) George was still alive last time I looked. But that was a month ago so its anyone's guess.

SueBarker
Mar 26th, 2003, 11:56 PM
Most certainly Pammers - that Miss Moffat gets me as much as that whore Evert does. Thank the Lord that I haven't had to let her into my studio for Wimbledon. I have to let Chris in occasionally, but usually I just talk about Martina beating her so often so it shuts her up. Besides, I'm a natural blonde and was the glamour girl of the tour and may still be. I reckon I could whip Pornikova's ass right now. And I won a Slam!

Miss Moffat is one of those who hangs onto former glories, unlike me. I accept my triumph in the 1976 French Open and yet can also discuss other moments of my career, like the semi finals of the 1976 French Open, which btw, I went on to win. Anyway, she's ugly, wears stupid glasses and likes Rosie Casals' pink pant suit.

Some questions to ponder -
1. If you had been gay (which you're not) which player would you have gone for in your day?
2. Would you ever marry for money?
3. Why did you once have a PamFro yet now you have quite normal hair? What's the secret?
4. Why 'Howard'?
5. Do you plan to have children? If so, do you plan to have them with George?

Pamela Shriver
Mar 27th, 2003, 12:14 AM
I can't decide who I dislike more...Chris or BJK...BJK has stolen my Fed Cup captaincy and generally upsets my eyes while Chris beat me in 78UO final :mad: :mad: Bleurgh. Well neither will beat me in the Pammentating stakes!!

1. You Sue and you know its true :kiss:
2. Er....n....no........ whatever makes you ask me that. Next Question swiftly please...
3. I am alike to Madonna, in that inwhich to maintain my life in the spotlight I have to constantly re-invent myself. So I had to ditch the Pam-Fro and if I reveal how I achieve such wonders then I would have to kill you. Sorry Sue.
4. Howard is a Shriver family name. I was simply carrying on the tradition. My mom was called Howard, and so was her mom and her before her.
5. If you read my article in Hello mag when I married Georgie then you'd know we would like our own little patter of hooves!

billie_jean_king
Mar 27th, 2003, 12:18 AM
BJK has stolen my Fed Cup captaincy

Yes, that's right Shriver! I'm the Fed Cup captain. Not you! And have you seen my latest team? Serena, Venus, Chipmunk and Droopy. I bet you couldn't get a better team than that.

I'm the best Fed Cup captain this country has ever seen. My record in the last 2 years proves that!

Pamela Shriver
Mar 27th, 2003, 12:29 AM
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

I'd like anyone to defeat MY US team if I were captain.

Pam's Fantasy US FC Team:
Jennifer Capriati (she'd play for me ya know :p )
Pamela Shriver

We would conquer all. So naaaaaaaaaaaah.

billie_jean_king
Mar 27th, 2003, 12:33 AM
Jen would play for you? :sad: Jen won't play with for me. I still love her though.

I've got the human beanpole on my team. Oh, but she lost to Jen today didn't she? Oh, sweet, little, soon to be birthdayed Jen. How I love that girl. I'd have her babies if she'd let me.

Well, Jen wouldn't be helped by having YOU on the team. You'd handicap her.

Pamela Shriver
Mar 27th, 2003, 12:37 AM
handicap!? Not possible. Hoof-cap maybe.... At least I've seen my toes these last 20 yrs <although binoculars are essential>

Xavier_Malisse
Mar 27th, 2003, 12:37 AM
Pam...if you do get Jen on your team, could you let her know that I still love her? Thanks.

Pamela Shriver
Mar 27th, 2003, 12:46 AM
Still not found that personality then Xav?

Xavier_Malisse
Mar 27th, 2003, 12:48 AM
Even if I did, I'd never be good enough for Jen. Personality or no, there are some things I'd still be incapable of, if you get my meaning...

Pamela Shriver
Mar 27th, 2003, 01:01 AM
Yes I know exactly what you mean. Don't I George??

GBFH
Mar 27th, 2003, 01:05 AM
I have a question, Pam!

What do you think of the possibility of Martina Hingis going into broadcasting? And, if such an eventuality occurred, would you feel secure about your employment?

Pamela Shriver
Mar 27th, 2003, 01:13 AM
Hey GBFH..... Good question! I doubt Martina would ever touch me in the legendary pammentating stakes. And if she ever crossed that line into my Pammentary booth then I'd have to unleash some harsh vowels at her...

GBFH
Mar 27th, 2003, 01:26 AM
Thanks Pam!!!

May I ask another question??
Have you ever gotten vowelish with Mary Joe??? Your most devoted fans are DYING to know!!

paul_masterton
Mar 27th, 2003, 09:44 PM
dear Pam, how do u feel being an inspiration to gingers ala over the world?

how did you cope with evil bouts of 'hairism' when you were growing up?

raquel
Mar 27th, 2003, 10:39 PM
Pam, one of the first matches I saw on TV was when you beat Rachel McQuillan at Wimbledon 1994, 8-6 in the third. How did it feel to beat the woman who, two weeks earlier, said something along the lines of ' you are a haggard old woman who should retire'? :p

Helen Lawson
Mar 27th, 2003, 10:51 PM
Did you ever beat Hana? Were you angry when she referred to you as a "simple percentage serve and volleyer" and that is why, she claims, you never captured that Singles Slam? I have my own theories on Hana. What are yours?

Xavier_Malisse
Mar 27th, 2003, 11:48 PM
Pam...
1. Do you and George have a good sex life?
2. Who has been responsible for the best sex you ever had?
3. Jen. Would you?
4. Did working with Martina ever affect your ability to pull the gentlemen of this world?
5. What's your favourite position?
6. Will you sleep with me?

Pamela Shriver
Mar 28th, 2003, 05:14 PM
Have you ever gotten vowelish with Mary Joe??? Your most devoted fans are DYING to know!!

Vowelish with Mary Joe? She tried to make fun of my lack of Pam's Slams once...So I showed her, gave her some full pelt vowels. She was in hospital for weeks and still suffers from part deafness now.

dear Pam, how do u feel being an inspiration to gingers ala over the world?
I'm an inspiration to EVERYONE in the world! I'm used to it now. I get stopped in the grocery store all the time. And not only for people to throw tomatoes at me.

how did you cope with evil bouts of 'hairism' when you were growing up?
I'm still growing up y'know (I'm really only 20)... And I'll be 24ft by next year, fully grown adult giraffe.

Pam, one of the first matches I saw on TV was when you beat Rachel McQuillan at Wimbledon 1994, 8-6 in the third. How did it feel to beat the woman who, two weeks earlier, said something along the lines of ' you are a haggard old woman who should retire'?
I have one thing to say to Rachel McQuillan - HAHAHAHAHAHA! The Haggard old woman hit back.

Did you ever beat Hana? Were you angry when she referred to you as a "simple percentage serve and volleyer" and that is why, she claims, you never captured that Singles Slam? I have my own theories on Hana. What are yours?

Yeah for sure, I have my own theories on Hana....I think she was part of the moon landing hoax for sure. Hana's words were harsh...but she was just jealous because I can touch the tops of lamp posts.

Xav:
1. Put it this way, we BOTH get full slices of pumpkin pie (at least once a year. On Hallowe'en)
2. Muriel Sheppage's "The Joy of Pleasuring Your Eldery Husband" Muriel's great book! And unfortunately no longer available. (Or should that be fortunately?)
3. I'm not the new Geri Halliwell. But I reckon I could be easily persuaded. (probably got a better chance than you Xavvy)
4. Not at all because Martina frequented many gentleman's clubs and would take me with her.
5. Giraffey-style and by the waterhole.
6. Only if you wear a giraffe desguise.

:kiss: Pammers :kiss:

Shuji Shuriken
Mar 28th, 2003, 05:26 PM
1. Which of these two do you like more: Venus Williams or Flu Shot :devil:?

2. What are your thoughts on Venus (and save us that dry, bitchy, boring attitude you like to think of as your attempt at humour) :)?

AnnabelCroft
Mar 28th, 2003, 05:32 PM
Pam, give me some advice...How can I stop receiving such ridicule for being so crap?!?

Pamela Shriver
Mar 29th, 2003, 11:26 PM
Pam, give me some advice...How can I stop receiving such ridicule for being so crap?!?

Try wearing a bag over your head. If it doesn't stop the ridicule at least it'll save the rest of us from looking at your face.

Snuffkin
Mar 29th, 2003, 11:35 PM
Hi Pam! Lovely to see you again.

I thought that you would have had an invite to the party of the year, aka Jen's birthday party? Now, although I appreciate you dishing out words of wisdom here, did you not want to be at the party? I know I would just love to have been at that party.

So, I was also wondering if you knew what the plans were for Jen's party tonight and what your favourite birthday party would include. Themes, people, presents etc...

Oh and Happy World Jen Day Pam.

GBFH
Mar 29th, 2003, 11:35 PM
Pam, I'm having difficulty growing. What kinds of foods do giraffes such as yourself eat to get so tall?

Pamela Shriver
Mar 29th, 2003, 11:46 PM
So, I was also wondering if you knew what the plans were for Jen's party tonight and what your favourite birthday party would include. Themes, people, presents etc...

Hey there Snuffkin. Happy World JenDay indeed! I just love parties. PamParties. My favorite theme is The Jungle Book naturally! Or I like Bond themed parties, seeing as I'm already a fully-fledged Bond girl. I'm a BIG fan of presents...although I don't want any more stilts, that joke from Chris Evert really has worn thin now...But money gifts are nice :drool:
Jen is having a huuuuuge bash with 10,000 guests, hiring out an entire 5 nightclubs. Basically it rivals the millennium celebrations. Its nothing less than she deserves.

Pamela Shriver
Mar 29th, 2003, 11:48 PM
Pam, I'm having difficulty growing. What kinds of foods do giraffes such as yourself eat to get so tall?

A nice leaf salad. Lots of leaves...Popeye was not lying....

raquel
Mar 30th, 2003, 12:42 AM
Pam, is it true that when you first came on the tour that you and Rosie Casals had to be held back in Amelia Island before a catfight ensued?!

Shuji Shuriken
Mar 30th, 2003, 12:47 AM
1. Which of these two do you like more: Venus Williams or Flu Shot :devil:?

2. What are your thoughts on Venus (and save us that dry, bitchy, boring attitude you like to think of as your attempt at humour) :)?
Pam...baby ;)...did you skip over my questions, or is that just you being you :devil:? Please oblige this demented child by answering my questions :kiss:...as painful as it is.

Pamela Shriver
Mar 30th, 2003, 12:57 AM
Pam, is it true that when you first came on the tour that you and Rosie Casals had to be held back in Amelia Island before a catfight ensued?!

You'd better believe it baby! She dissed my pant suit. Said it wasn't pink enough.

Bonkers186, are you Annabel Croft in disguise? My opinions on Venus are well known. I mean, that girl is so tall, but could do with being a few feet bigger. Both sisters are such successes also. They remind me of me. Don't forget I inspired them to win the Olympics - like I did. Which everyone rememebers huh??!?

Snuffkin
Mar 30th, 2003, 01:07 AM
Pam, last weekend I visited the Wimbledon museum. Whilst there, I saw the Champions Parade and was delighted to see you on it. It made me realise that aside from the larger than a giraffe persona, you were a player of immense quality and achieved a great deal in your career. Your doubles record is incredible and is one you should be most proud of. I won't mention your dire singles record, ok?

Anyway, as I was watching you and all the other former greats of the game, I noticed just how many of the female players were wearing trouser suits, or as you may know them, 'pant suits'. What I was wondering is, is there some reason why so many of you chose to wear such fashion items, because in one person's case, their choice was a hideous bright pink effort that did nothing to hide their vast weight gain and ugliness. Is there some tennis player thing that draws you all to 'pant suits' or was it just a quirk of fate?

Btw, you were looking very smart in your blue suit. Such a shame others didn't follow your example.

billie_jean_king
Mar 30th, 2003, 01:13 AM
sPam!

hEELoo mS SHirvre. I ave bEen drnikgn bceause I nver Got ann invitE too JEn's brithDay perty. Jne htaes mee ADn I Lvoe herr. HEpl mme lpease spam!

SueBarker
Mar 30th, 2003, 01:18 AM
Evenin' Pammers! How are ya, me old mucker?

Just a quickie...I've just checked my BBC schedule and I'm in Paris for middle weekend of the French Open, which I won in 1976, and wondered if you wanted to go for a round of golf? Sadly the bastards are sending me to Epsom Downs to do the Derby coverage on finals day, but at least I'm due there at some stage, so what do you say? Give me a call when you know where you're up to.

Much love,
Susie :kiss:

kazzmazz
Mar 30th, 2003, 01:47 AM
Hi Pam!

First of all, thanks for the great courtside Pammentary today during the Jen/Serena final. I really enjoyed your game-by-game update of the on-court temperature and really admire you for not wearing the ice-vest like Mal Washington did during the 2002 AO final. You seem like one tough cookie!

My question to you is, where do you think you rate on the list of the world's all-time most notorious women? I've never heard of these Barker Croft Casals chicks, and the name Billie Jean King vaguely rings a bell (something about inventing tennis??), but I know all about YOU, even though I was still in the womb in 1978.

Thanks and keep up the great work!

Pamela Shriver
Mar 30th, 2003, 01:48 AM
What I was wondering is, is there some reason why so many of you chose to wear such fashion items, because in one person's case, their choice was a hideous bright pink effort that did nothing to hide their vast weight gain and ugliness. Is there some tennis player thing that draws you all to 'pant suits' or was it just a quirk of fate?

Hey there! Well sheesh, thanks for visiting my museum. I'm working on it being changed to the 'Pam Shriver Memorial Wimbledon Museum Featuring Pam Shriver and the Olympic Gold Winning Award winner Pamela Shriver' Nice ring to it huh?
As for the champs parade fashions...well its a shame some had to let the side down right!? And that was just jana's face. The Sour-puss corner. You know which I mean.... Anyways, pant suits are the ultimate in tennis legends fashion. Ya see, when you're as tall as me skirts just ain't practical, especially as I like to step from one side of Wimbledon to the other in one quick leap. Can you imagine what would happen if I had a skirt on doing that......The English tabloids would have a field day. And George wouldnt be too please also...
The reasons why others wear pant suits so often is due to the fact that the Golf and Gentleman's club don't allow skirts. Jeez, I always like to wear the pants in the relationship...
Rosie's PinkPantSuit was due to the fact that she is in fact moonlighting as a lolly-pop lady and must be able to be seen at night.

<Thank you for not discussing my terrible singles career>


sPam! hEELoo mS SHirvre. I ave bEen drnikgn bceause I nver Got ann invitE too JEn's brithDay perty. Jne htaes mee ADn I Lvoe herr. HEpl mme lpease spam!
You are beyond help Bill. If only you'd taken my advice all those years ago and got shot of those glasses and got onto that stretching machine to make you giraffe height. We couldve saved ya. I suggest you find a priest and fast baby!

Just a quickie...I've just checked my BBC schedule and I'm in Paris for middle weekend of the French Open, which I won in 1976, and wondered if you wanted to go for a round of golf? Sadly the bastards are sending me to Epsom Downs to do the Derby coverage on finals day, but at least I'm due there at some stage, so what do you say? Give me a call when you know where you're up to.

Hey there my favorite French open winner. I really wanna know why they don't change the name of the Suzanne Lenglen court to SueBarkerCourt at Roland garros! Very disrespectful towards ya Suzy!

I'd love a round of golf sometime. Only please dont have those <aunty>Gins and Ts before hand like you did the last time...I mean sheesh, the damage that golf buggy you drove did! I'm still paying off the damages, try explaining that to George every month with the credit card bill! Ooo I'll look forward to it, i've just bought some new Pant Suits to wear in tweed.

xxxxXXPAMMERSXXxxxx

Pamela Shriver
Mar 30th, 2003, 02:09 AM
My question to you is, where do you think you rate on the list of the world's all-time most notorious women? I've never heard of these Barker Croft Casals chicks, and the name Billie Jean King vaguely rings a bell (something about inventing tennis??), but I know all about YOU, even though I was still in the womb in 1978.

Hey there, thankx for your kind <and very true> words. Guess you're another PamsPeople!
Well, this is really quite an easy question for me to answer. I rank simply: No.1. Put it this way, my birthday is celebrated throughout the land every yr! Cannot be a coincidence forget the independence bit... Everyone forgets BJK. I mean, take one look at her you dont want to be remembering what ya just saw! :eek:

XXPAMXX

GBFH
Mar 30th, 2003, 04:35 AM
Hey Pam, got a couple of questions!
1. would you do a potato (lleyton) or a monkey (sampras)?
2. a hypothetical: would you rather lose one of your fingers every year, or every five years lose one of your five senses?
3. why do giraffes have black tongues? (do you have a black tongue?)
4. are you worried that elena bovina and lindsay davenport could eventually usurp you for the giraffe throne?
5. did you feel overlooked for the '92 Olympic team?
6. can I get into the 'Pam Shriver Memorial Wimbledon Museum Featuring Pam Shriver and the Olympic Gold Winning Award winner Pamela Shriver'?

Thanks :)

Pamela Shriver
Mar 30th, 2003, 08:08 PM
Hey GBFH (does the H stand for Howard like my middle name??)

1. would you do a potato (lleyton) or a monkey (sampras)?
Neither. Just a geriatric (George)

2. a hypothetical: would you rather lose one of your fingers every year, or every five years lose one of your five senses?
Well I don't have fingers, I have hooves! (but if i did have fingers then it would be losing them every year...I mean, my tennis is so bad it could hardly get any worse)

3. why do giraffes have black tongues? (do you have a black tongue?)
I have a sharp tongue....

4. are you worried that elena bovina and lindsay davenport could eventually usurp you for the giraffe throne?
I'm not so worried about Lindsay...she won some slams so people don't compare us anyways...but Elena is a total different question! That girl is the only thing in the world taller than me... I'm hoping she's been wearing stilts to confuse us...

5. did you feel overlooked for the '92 Olympic team?
I've never been overlooked in my life! (unless Elena Bovina is around) Thank god I'm 12ft high. And I'm not bitter about those Olympics. :mad: NOt. Bitter. At. All. :mad:

6. can I get into the 'Pam Shriver Memorial Wimbledon Museum Featuring Pam Shriver and the Olympic Gold Winning Award winner Pamela Shriver'?
Of course! Everyone can! Although you do need to go on the 10 yr waiting list. And that is just for the entrance interview. Then there is the character profiles. And I have to wait for the $1,000 cheques to clear. Then we let ya in!

:kiss: PAMMERSX

Sue Barker
Mar 30th, 2003, 08:13 PM
Pammy! :kiss:

One question... whats all this about you replacing me with a younger, less-botoxed clone of moi called SueBarker?! :p

Snuffkin
Mar 30th, 2003, 08:18 PM
Hey Pam...just a couple of quickies to follow up your previous answers.

Re: the '92 Olympic Team. What was your impression of that team? Essentially they were ultra-successful, winning both singles AND doubles gold. As much as you could have been on that team, what extra would you have brought to the team, if anything? And also, who would you have roomed with? And what hi-jinks would you have got up to? It's often credited as the reason why Jen won Olympic Gold that year was because she was in the athlete's village and away from certain people (ie. her family), so would you have roomed with Jen or one of the more mature members of the team? I'd have been intrigued to see what effect you'd have had on Jen had you two roomed together.

Finally, what ambitions do you have left to fulfil, not just in life, but in broadcasting and maybe also tennis?

Love ya!

CondiLicious
Mar 30th, 2003, 08:20 PM
"'Pam Shriver Memorial Wimbledon Museum Featuring Pam Shriver and the Olympic Gold Winning Award winner Pamela Shriver'?"

Memorial? Don't they only have memorials when somebody is dead? Have you died Pam? Are you like Buffy? Do you come back to life?

Pamela Shriver
Mar 30th, 2003, 08:44 PM
One question... whats all this about you replacing me with a younger, less-botoxed clone of moi called SueBarker?!

Shucks all these Sue Barkers....Will the real Sue Barker Shady stand up please!??!

Re: the '92 Olympic Team. What was your impression of that team? Essentially they were ultra-successful, winning both singles AND doubles gold. As much as you could have been on that team, what extra would you have brought to the team, if anything? And also, who would you have roomed with? And what hi-jinks would you have got up to? It's often credited as the reason why Jen won Olympic Gold that year was because she was in the athlete's village and away from certain people (ie. her family), so would you have roomed with Jen or one of the more mature members of the team? I'd have been intrigued to see what effect you'd have had on Jen had you two roomed together.

The singles gold was awesome, I enjoyed that.... The doubles team suckz. Ok, they won but I put that down to bribery. I would have brought great stability and height. Don't forget I am a great motivator also! I wouldve had the girls in the zone. (Proof of my abilities: I bed George. say no more) Plus we would have sampled all the beers in celebration...not to mention my amusing locker-room capers (I put itching powder in Chris Evert's sports bra once. Heheheh. Another favorite joke is putting scorpians in the sneakers! Hohoho!) So I wouldve been a lot of fun.
I would have roomed with jen preferrably. I could have given her advice.....like what tailors to get the pant suit from (I can't give her guidance on how to win now could I??) So Jen would have won even more so AND she wouldve been stylish dressed in pant suits.

:kiss: PAMMY :kiss:

Pamela Shriver
Mar 30th, 2003, 08:46 PM
Memorial? Don't they only have memorials when somebody is dead? Have you died Pam? Are you like Buffy? Do you come back to life?

I'm immortal. But my career is dead (as well as my old hair cut :sad: )and that is what is in need of memorial!

SueBarker
Mar 30th, 2003, 08:52 PM
Well, they do say that immitation is the sincerest form of flattery and might I remind you Pam that you have a double on this board too! Guess who doesn't have a double? Yup, the Burger King! Ha!

You and I have so much in common Pam. We're both stunning broadcasters, both have fantastic records as players, both hate Chris, both were glamour icons of our day...we could almost be each other, if it weren't for the extra 16 feet of height you have.

Pamela Shriver
Mar 30th, 2003, 10:33 PM
We *could* be twins couldn't we Suzy?! We are so alike, ignoring the fact that you have normal vowels. And the fact that you actually won something worthwhile.

Incidentally if anyone sees my eville doppelganger you have my permission to shoot on sight.

billie_jean_king
Mar 30th, 2003, 11:42 PM
Umm...hello. I must make apologies for my behaviour last night when I came in here in a state of drunkeness at my despair over not being invited to Jen's birthday party. As much as I love, idolise, care for and want to be Jen, I behaved irresponsibly. I should be thrown off my own team, but that would be stupid. I apologise to you Pam, your many, many fans and ultimately, the person who makes me act in such a way - Jen. I'm a slave to her.

Incidentally Pam, do you have any good hangover cures?

Pamela Shriver
Mar 30th, 2003, 11:48 PM
A punch in the face I've heard works for hangovers Bill. And I stand first in line to help ya out in that department....

GBFH
Mar 31st, 2003, 03:57 AM
Hey Pammy, thanks so much for answering my questions! I've started eating leafy salads like you said, and I've already grown three inches! I should be the size of a baby giraffe in a few weeks!

Now, some more questions!

1. Why did you and Martina N. decide to part ways?
2. When did you first discover the power of your vowels?
3. How did you feel when Zina Garrison beat you in the '88 Olympics, and went on to win the bronze medal?
4. Why did you get into tennis instead of basketball? With your staggering giraffe height, you would have been a great center!!!

Thanks :)

Pamela Shriver
Mar 31st, 2003, 07:30 PM
Hey GBFH(oward)!

1. Why did you and Martina N. decide to part ways?
Martina couldn't cope being in my shadow.

2. When did you first discover the power of your vowels?
As a child. We went on a skiiing holiday and just opening my mouth caused an avalanche.

3. How did you feel when Zina Garrison beat you in the '88 Olympics, and went on to win the bronze medal?
This is a family board so I will censor what I thought: !&^%^*&%!"%!!

4. Why did you get into tennis instead of basketball? With your staggering giraffe height, you would have been a great center!!!
I actually played basketball in high school....they let me hold the net. I could've been a pro athlete in any sport. I chose tennis because I dreamt of PingPoning on Centre Court at Wimbledon. And I achieved my goal...

Hendouble
Mar 31st, 2003, 07:35 PM
"This is a family board" - lol... now that's the biggest joke in this entire thread.

Snuffkin
Mar 31st, 2003, 07:38 PM
Pam...I desperately need your help...

I'm going to work soon and wondered should I risk the vending machine being stocked up on Diet Coke or should I purchase a can on my way in? And also do I wear my blue or my grey hoodie?

Thanks Pam...you're doing a big fan a big favour with this one.

Pamela Shriver
Mar 31st, 2003, 07:50 PM
Snuffkin my buddy, why don't you have a giraffe print hoodie?? Go for blue <see my avatar for details...even though it looks grey...>

Live life to the full...risk the vending machine is stocked up. Life would be kinda boring if we played safe all the time. Like my risk marrying George. And the bugger is still alive. Oh well.

:kiss: PAMMERS :kiss:

Snuffkin
Mar 31st, 2003, 08:34 PM
Thanks for that Pam. It seems the machine is stocked up, so that's good news.

Anyway, I just realised, being, as I am, the producer to the top percentage share programme on a certain radio station, I must hold some sway. AND! would you ever consider coming on air and doing a question and answer session with the people of the great North West? I'm sure it'd go down great. I'd personally take it upon myself to show you around the city and surrounding areas, Chester Zoo is nearby, and would love to go out on the piss with you. Oh, and I'd love you to be part of what I think may be the best programme I've ever produced.

Thanks Pammers.

SueBarker
Mar 31st, 2003, 08:47 PM
Hi again Pam!

I was reminiscing this afternoon while I was in my French Open shrine-room and thought of some questions for you-

1. What was your favourite venue to play?
2. Who was your best/worst opponent?
3. Which match means the most to you and why?
4. What was your favourite on-court outfit?
5. And finally, if you were playing today, how do you think you'd do?

Dava
Mar 31st, 2003, 09:00 PM
Hi Pam...

Whats your tip for players who apply a lot of slice on the ball, you see I hate them cos I cant hit the ball hard enough!!!

Pamela Shriver
Mar 31st, 2003, 09:02 PM
Snuffkin: YES YES YES! <not that I'm desperate for fame or anything>

Howdy Sue,
1. What was your favourite venue to play?
PingPongPamCentreCourt. Certainly nowhere indoors. My head always scraped the roof!

2. Who was your best/worst opponent?
Best: Anyone I beat. <so no one>
Worst: Chris. She always beat me, and boy did/does she rub it in... ouch...

3. Which match means the most to you and why?
ANy that I won. Aside from the many glories, like my OLYMPIC gold and my GS <doubles> titles...Beating Ginny at Wimby in 84 on centre stands out. I loved all those gutted brit faces <think you were rather happy I dumped her out too Suzy!> Just don't mention the fact that Ginny was 39, past it yet she gave me a scare...
Incidentaly I played Steffi in the next round after Ginny...I thought that grass was her worst surface. See how I'm always right??! *cough*

4. What was your favourite on-court outfit?
Unfortunately I was never allowed to wear my pant suits on court :sad: I kinda liked that long skirt you Sue leant me to wear at the Virgina Slims once...it was a mini on me. But anything with giraffe print.

5. And finally, if you were playing today, how do you think you'd do?
Even worse.

XXxxxPAMMERSxxxXX

GBFH
Apr 3rd, 2003, 12:06 AM
Hey Pam, since you're such a well-rounded kind of person, I wondered if you could give me some off-court advice? I got into some trouble with my law professor, she threatened to throw me out of school. I don't know if I should just shrug it off and move on, or attack her with some fearsome vowels...what do you suggest?

Oh also, do you prefer brocolli or brussel sprouts?

Thanks ;)