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View Full Version : Michael Jackson Admits Plastic Surgery; France Unconvinced


Car Key Boi
Feb 16th, 2003, 09:53 PM
http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=505

MICHAEL JACKSON ADMITS PLASTIC SURGERY; FRANCE UNCONVINCED

Chirac Demands More Time for U.N. Face Inspectors

At the United Nations today, U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell offered what he called “conclusive proof” that the singer Michael Jackson has had plastic surgery, but failed to convince France.

In his presentation, Mr. Powell first showed two photos of Mr. Jackson, taken in 1979 and 2003, to illustrate the dramatic transformation of the singer’s face from human to Halloween mask.

As Security Council members watched intently, Mr. Powell then played a tape of a recent court appearance by Mr. Jackson, during which the tip of his nose appeared to fall from his face and onto the floor.

Finally, Mr. Powell played a tape of the ABC program “20/20” in which Mr. Jackson admitted he had plastic surgery, after which a visibly frustrated Mr. Powell turned to the ambassador from France and said, “How much more freaking proof do you clowns need?”

While the French ambassador did not respond, impassively sipping on a glass of red wine while reading a book by Camus, later in the day French President Jacques Chirac had harsh words for Mr. Powell, saying that the Secretary of State “had proved nothing.”

President Chirac added that the United Nations should grant its official face inspection team more time to look at Mr. Jackson’s head to determine whether the singer had plastic surgery or not.

In related news, President Chirac said the U.S. had failed to show convincing proof that Jennifer Lopez has a big ass.

gentenaire
Feb 16th, 2003, 10:16 PM
More than enough evidence, I say, bomb Michael! And if innocent children on his Neverland farm are killed, it's just collateral damage. After all, they'll be saved from Michael, it's for a good cause. Come on, drop a nuke on 'm.

tennischick
Feb 17th, 2003, 04:17 AM
OK i watched the interview again today. i kinda half-watched it the first time but tonite i actually watched it. and i made a couple of important obsos:

1. Michael Jackson has BREASTS. there are two small budding nipple things on his chest. check him out in the scenes where he is wearing the red shirt

2. he also has MASSIVE hands. and i mean MASSIVE. what is up with that?

3. the cancer kid says quite clearly that MJ slept in the bed with him

4. MJ manipulates children by telling them that if they don't do what he wants them to do (e.g., share a bed), it means that they don't love him.

5. if he was poor he would be in jail. along with OJ and Doris Duke's butler...

that's it. i'm thru discussing this topic...:wavey: