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Mynarco
Jul 16th, 2012, 12:16 AM
I know I am late but has anyone read this book?

The writing is so crass but I have to admit I enjoy A LOT when reading it :sobbing:
Never read a book that upfront describing those sex scenes

Hurley
Jul 16th, 2012, 12:21 AM
No Chrono no :hysteric:

Mynarco
Jul 16th, 2012, 12:26 AM
No Chrono no :hysteric:

I couldn't help giggling at some parts of the book :sobbing:
I am hopeless :sobbing:

ranfurly
Jul 16th, 2012, 12:34 AM
I got myself a hustler instead, more pictures, less words.

Keegan
Jul 16th, 2012, 03:11 AM
I read a bit of it and they were talking about how she wouldn't let him fist her, but he wanted to "claim her ass" so basically whether she liked it or not, anal was on the cards. Twi-hards these days...

Sally Struthers
Jul 16th, 2012, 04:29 AM
I have read excerpts and it sounds totally ridiculous.. Kind of like something someone would write on here :o

ranfurly
Jul 16th, 2012, 04:34 AM
I have read excerpts and it sounds totally ridiculous.. Kind of like something someone would write on here :o

Vikapower :oh:

Bismarck.
Jul 16th, 2012, 10:02 AM
I read a bit of it and they were talking about how she wouldn't let him fist her, but he wanted to "claim her ass" so basically whether she liked it or not, anal was on the cards. Twi-hards these days...

:tears: The tampon scene was even better.

debby
Jul 16th, 2012, 10:22 AM
Tampons - Remember that time that Christian yanks out Anastasia’s bloody tampon so he can fuck her for the zillion time? Oh, you were trying to repress that horrible moment? Well now you and your significant other can re-enact it.
x (http://50shadesofsuck.tumblr.com/)

Disgusting :happy:

Harry.
Jul 16th, 2012, 11:01 AM
SAVE YOURSELF. RUN!

http://i1247.photobucket.com/albums/gg633/FORZAPENNETTA/sM8zk.gif

kwilliams
Jul 16th, 2012, 07:51 PM
:(:(:(

I bought this book as part of my mother's birthday gift. The blurb just made it sound like your average chick lit. I bought her a book with a fictionalised historical plot and some cosmetics too. Then later that day I started hearing things about this book. It basically sounded like I gave my mam an erotic novel and I'm not sure if I should tell her or just play dumb!!! I'm not sure how much she'd care for that sort of thing! It sounds a bit graphic/explicit. She might just about like it if it was more implicit than explicit!!

Bismarck.
Jul 16th, 2012, 07:57 PM
:(:(:(

I bought this book as part of my mother's birthday gift. The blurb just made it sound like your average chick lit. I bought her a book with a fictionalised historical plot and some cosmetics too. Then later that day I started hearing things about this book. It basically sounded like I gave my mam an erotic novel and I'm not sure if I should tell her or just play dumb!!! I'm not sure how much she'd care for that sort of thing! It sounds a bit graphic/explicit. She might just about like it if it was more implicit than explicit!!

Erm, it's very explicit. Sometimes quite violent, too.

What did the blurb say? :lol: When it comes to anything overly graphic, they tend to brush over it, so it's an easy mistake to make.

kwilliams
Jul 16th, 2012, 08:12 PM
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The blurb made it sound like some professional woman who meets a mysterious man and becomes involved with him. It just seemed to emphasise that the man was mysterious! I'm like a marketer's dream. Set up a nice display, give something a nice cover, mark it at a reasonable price and I'll buy it :(

I hope she starts the other book first!

Mynarco
Jul 16th, 2012, 08:14 PM
Maybe your mother would like it :oh:

Dodoboy.
Jul 16th, 2012, 08:28 PM
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The blurb made it sound like some professional woman who meets a mysterious man and becomes involved with him. It just seemed to emphasise that the man was mysterious! I'm like a marketer's dream. Set up a nice display, give something a nice cover, mark it at a reasonable price and I'll buy it :(

I hope she starts the other book first!

:haha:!!!!! NO

Sally Struthers
Jul 16th, 2012, 08:32 PM
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The blurb made it sound like some professional woman who meets a mysterious man and becomes involved with him. It just seemed to emphasise that the man was mysterious! I'm like a marketer's dream. Set up a nice display, give something a nice cover, mark it at a reasonable price and I'll buy it :(

I hope she starts the other book first!

:spit:

It is VERY explicit. I wouldn't feel comfortable giving it as a gift to ANYONE I know except as a gag gift to a friend. :oh:

JJ all the way
Jul 16th, 2012, 08:41 PM
does anyone have the pdf? lol
i would be embarassed to be seen with it or buy it......

Freakan
Jul 16th, 2012, 08:55 PM
Robson doesn't approve:

What do you like to do to for fun?
LR: I read a lot. I listen to a lot of music - I'm a big music person. In terms of books, I just finished reading Fifty Shades of Grey, but I wouldn't recommend it at all!

kwilliams
Jul 16th, 2012, 08:56 PM
Maybe your mother would like it :oh:

Well, who knows!? She might! So if I try to offer her the receipt so that she (or I) can return it, that'd just make it all the more awkward!!!!!! What to do!? What to do!? :lol:

:spit:

It is VERY explicit. I wouldn't feel comfortable giving it as a gift to ANYONE I know except as a gag gift to a friend. :oh:

Cringe. Criiiiinnnggggee.

does anyone have the pdf? lol
i would be embarassed to be seen with it or buy it......

Just order it online or play dumb when you buy it. I don't recall any odd looks from the cashier but then people these days are pretty cool about everything.

Fed_Ds
Jul 16th, 2012, 11:12 PM
does anyone have the pdf? lol
i would be embarassed to be seen with it or buy it......

this is all you need to read :oh:
http://50shadesofsuck.tumblr.com/page/52

the writing is soo bad :sobbing:

Mynarco
Jul 16th, 2012, 11:41 PM
The whole subconscious and inner goddess thing is so retarded. Plus it keeps showing up every two or three pages

pierce85
Jul 17th, 2012, 01:17 AM
Just bought the trilogy, I know it's not Tolstoi but when I read that the plot had to do with an S/M relation I was very intrigued

Sally Struthers
Jul 17th, 2012, 06:12 AM
"Listen, we all know Anastasia has the cleanest anus on the block (because remember that time when Christian put a butt plug up there and then Anastasia found out after that he usually had his maid clean all the used butt plugs of his subs so Anastasia decides to clean her own and she remarks at how clean her used butt plug is."

:speakles: do you really want your mother reading about dirty butt plugs? :haha: I think you should secretly snatch the book and return it for something less dirty :angel:

ranfurly
Jul 17th, 2012, 06:49 AM
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/250940_10151029177261797_83434128_n.jpg

Mummy Porn = Getting a New fucking color scheme for the Kitchen!

kwilliams
Jul 17th, 2012, 11:43 AM
"Listen, we all know Anastasia has the cleanest anus on the block (because remember that time when Christian put a butt plug up there and then Anastasia found out after that he usually had his maid clean all the used butt plugs of his subs so Anastasia decides to clean her own and she remarks at how clean her used butt plug is."

:speakles: do you really want your mother reading about dirty butt plugs? :haha: I think you should secretly snatch the book and return it for something less dirty :angel:

She will not like that AT ALL!! If it's that kinky there's no chance of her just trying to go along with it. Snatching it will lead to awkward questions. My mam's like a freakin' detective at times...and I don't mean she's one for interrogation, she just asks the right questions and can fill in the most massive of blanks. No, no. I'll have to just say that I "heard it was a bit distastefully racy" She'll want to avoid an awkward conversation as much as me and will leave it at that. This'll be one time that she'll take "you don't want to know" as an answer!! :lol:

I hope to God she hasn't started it yet!

Phew, I just checked and she clearly hasn't!

Harry.
Jul 17th, 2012, 12:51 PM
Lol one line I seem to remember vividly from the book. "I don't make love. I fuck... hard.". Who comes up with these anyway? :confused:

Bismarck.
Jul 17th, 2012, 01:36 PM
Lol one line I seem to remember vividly from the book. "I don't make love. I fuck... hard.". Who comes up with these anyway? :confused:

Honestly, from the bits I've read, it seems like it was written by a 14-year-old horny virgin, not by a near-50 married mother.

Mynarco
Jul 17th, 2012, 03:08 PM
The ending of the first book is so lame :o I am done. I did enjoy reading at the beginning but it went to a mess.

Ashi
Jul 17th, 2012, 03:13 PM
This is the consequence of the Twilight books! :hysteric:

égalité
Jul 17th, 2012, 07:02 PM
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The blurb made it sound like some professional woman who meets a mysterious man and becomes involved with him. It just seemed to emphasise that the man was mysterious! I'm like a marketer's dream. Set up a nice display, give something a nice cover, mark it at a reasonable price and I'll buy it :(

I hope she starts the other book first!

DYINGGGGG :hysteric:

It's basically porn.

C. Drone
Jul 17th, 2012, 07:09 PM
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The blurb made it sound like some professional woman who meets a mysterious man and becomes involved with him. It just seemed to emphasise that the man was mysterious! I'm like a marketer's dream. Set up a nice display, give something a nice cover, mark it at a reasonable price and I'll buy it :(

I hope she starts the other book first!

poor you :sobbing:

Harry.
Jul 17th, 2012, 07:49 PM
This book was made for Sammy. Or ghost written by him. :oh:

kwilliams
Jul 17th, 2012, 10:02 PM
I told her this evening that she wouldn't care for the book and should just return it. She said she was thinking of doing so anyway because a friend of a friend was saying that she was going to read that book because she had finished the first one. I didn't know there was a first book. I think she would've been interested enough to have a look as one of her "peers" read the book but I just told her it was graphic and gratuitous and that she should return it. I think she took my word for it. Hope she doesn't skim through it to find out just how bad it is!!! I changed the subject fairly quickly after our relatively brief exchange!! Thank God I had some news to tell!!

debby
Jul 17th, 2012, 10:28 PM
I told her this evening that she wouldn't care for the book and should just return it. She said she was thinking of doing so anyway because a friend of a friend was saying that she was going to read that book because she had finished the first one. I didn't know there was a first book. I think she would've been interested enough to have a look as one of her "peers" read the book but I just told her it was graphic and gratuitous and that she should return it. I think she took my word for it. Hope she doesn't skim through it to find out just how bad it is!!! I changed the subject fairly quickly after our relatively brief exchange!! Thank God I had some news to tell!!

:lol: :hug:


http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/70462850.html

KILL IT WITH FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE

thank you Twilight :tape: :tape: :help: :help:

The Dawntreader
Jul 17th, 2012, 10:57 PM
Anyone stupid will be loving this I imagine.

Sally Struthers
Jul 18th, 2012, 12:04 AM
"Anastasia, these objects.” He holds up the butt plug. “This is a size too big. As an anal virgin, you don’t want to start with this. We want to start with this.” He holds up his pinky finger, and I gasp, shocked. Fingers … there? He smirks at me, and the unpleasant thought of the anal fisting mentioned in the contract comes to mind."

:sobbing: :haha:

Mynarco
Jul 18th, 2012, 11:28 PM
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215

:haha:

Doully
Jul 19th, 2012, 12:07 AM
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215

:haha:

I haven't subjected myself to this filth but the review in that link was amazing :hysteric:

Wouldn't be surprised if it was a TF poster!

Harry.
Jul 19th, 2012, 12:39 AM
Found another gem from the book.

"I’m going to put on the condom now, Miss Steele.” He mewled low and wryly into my external auditory canal"

:hysteric: It's called an ear, darling.

Sally Struthers
Jul 19th, 2012, 01:10 AM
“He’s my very own Christian Grey flavor Popsicle.” “Hmm… he’s soft and hard at once, like steel encased in velvet, and surprisingly tasty…”

:speakles:

Epigone
Jul 19th, 2012, 02:08 AM
Gilbert Gottfried reads Fifty Shades of Grey :oh:

5K1RcKJVbHA

Hurley
Jul 19th, 2012, 02:58 AM
Fingers … there?

I...wait. This is the book? Really?

Because I've...skimmed books like these before. I don't understand what pushed this particular book/series to such heights.

Smith Saybrook
Jul 19th, 2012, 03:54 AM
Reading random excerpts on the web is just tooooooo much . Such a strange phenomenon.

it-girl
Mar 2nd, 2013, 04:08 AM
I have to admit I've read all 3 of the books. Now that they are planning the movie I think a lot more people will be interested in these books. I found them to be rather interesting. At the heart of the book is a troubled man who of course just needs someone to really love him. It was nice to see how Christian Grey's character developed.

I had not heard of these books until my co-worker told me about them. She loved them and she let me borrow all three so I could read them. The book is on the sexy side but it has a nice story at the heart of it. I am not disappointed that I read them at all. At first I had my reservations but in the end I really enjoyed the ride. I'm a writer myself so I was determined to give the books a chance and I'm glad I did.

pierce85
Mar 2nd, 2013, 04:11 AM
This is the worst book ever written

Cookiecrusher
Mar 2nd, 2013, 06:54 AM
Why don't people just jack off to real porn instead of buying literary shit like this

at least porn is free

borrowedheaven
Mar 2nd, 2013, 10:00 AM
Why don't people just jack off to real porn instead of buying literary shit like this

at least porn is free

TBH, I find well written porn much more arousing that regular porn. 50 shades is laughable though.

Keegan
Mar 2nd, 2013, 11:10 AM
I eventually read it when I was in Mumbai last year because my friend had it on his Kindle. I kept waking up my roommates to tell them what disgusting thing Christian Grey was up to in absolute horror. On the whole it was just a shit fantasy that was beyond weird. Although, I will say that I thought the ending was well done. I really wanted to read the second one after the ending as it kind of just left me hanging.

The creepiest scenes were definitely the contract signing, him stalking her to Georgia and the tampon scene. I'm scared of people who get off to the latter.

it-girl
Mar 3rd, 2013, 04:44 AM
Yeah the tampon scene was very interesting. I am finding that most people have only read the first book. To fully get the understanding of Christian Grey you have to read all three. Clearly the author meant for this to be a series. At first I wasn't too sure about this series. But like you when I was left hanging in the end of book one, I started reading the 2nd book right away. Overall it was a decent read. I did not get caught up in all the sex stuff. The development of his character was far more interesting to me.

Keegan
Mar 3rd, 2013, 03:20 PM
Yeah the tampon scene was very interesting. I am finding that most people have only read the first book. To fully get the understanding of Christian Grey you have to read all three. Clearly the author meant for this to be a series. At first I wasn't too sure about this series. But like you when I was left hanging in the end of book one, I started reading the 2nd book right away. Overall it was a decent read. I did not get caught up in all the sex stuff. The development of his character was far more interesting to me.

It's actually not a totally horrific story when you take out all the sex. Most of that was blatantly the parts where she got bored of writing and needed a wank. :rolleyes:

The Bulldog
Mar 3rd, 2013, 03:57 PM
I confess that I read it.

tripwires
Mar 3rd, 2013, 05:01 PM
I confess that I read it.

:facepalm:

I would bend my rule against book-burning and banning things for Fifty Shades of Grey.

it-girl
Mar 3rd, 2013, 06:34 PM
It's actually not a totally horrific story when you take out all the sex. Most of that was blatantly the parts where she got bored of writing and needed a wank. :rolleyes:I could not agree more. It's actually a very decent modern day love story.

The Bulldog
Mar 3rd, 2013, 08:06 PM
:facepalm:

I would bend my rule against book-burning and banning things for Fifty Shades of Grey.

Why?

ranfurly
Mar 3rd, 2013, 10:32 PM
50 shades of shit more like it.

pierce85
Mar 4th, 2013, 12:05 AM
This is the worst book ever, I'm actually ashamed to admit that I've read it but I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. The "author" (laugh freely) managed to write a book about S/M in the most conservative way . As for the writing style here is an Amazon review that I totally agree with



"I really don't like writing bad reviews. I admire people who have the courage to put pen to paper and expose themselves to the whole world, especially those writing erotica. Having just finished this book, however, I feel compelled to write a review.

About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old's fantasy. The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous penis, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he's not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he's never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their "dream man" and came up with Christian Grey.

Then come the sex scenes. The first one is tolerable but as she goes on, they become so unbelievable that it becomes more laughable than erotic. She orgasms at the drop of a hat. He says her name and she orgasms. He simply touches her and she orgasms. It seems that she's climaxing on every page.

Then there's the writing. If you take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her lips, the book will be down to about 50 pages. Almost on every single page, there is a whole section devoted to her blushing, chewing her lips or wondering "Jeez" about something or another. Then there's the use of "shades of". He's "fifty shades of @#$%% up," "she turned 7 shades of crimson," "he's ten shades of x,y, and z." Seriously?

The writing is just not up to par, the characters are unbelievable, and the sex verges on the comical. I don't know what happens in the remaining books and I do not intend to read them to find out. But given the maturity level of the first book, I imagine that they get married, have 2 perfect children, cure world hunger, and live happily ever after while riding into the sunset, as the female character climaxes on her horse causing her to chew her bottom lip and blush fifty shades of crimson. Jeez! "

Helen Lawson
Mar 4th, 2013, 02:55 AM
I listened to it on audiobook for an hour and thought it was laughably bad. It wasn't hot, it was silly. Silly in a dull way.

Ashi
Mar 4th, 2013, 03:53 AM
I have all the 3 ebooks but havent gotten to reading yet.

The Bulldog
Mar 10th, 2013, 06:52 PM
I think if you start reading this book with that negative mindset, having acknowledged all the criticism of the writer's style, then you aren't going to be impressed. I knew, before reading it, that the writing wasn't necessarily going to be top notch, but that didn't bother me.

Beat
Mar 10th, 2013, 08:28 PM
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215


that was hilarious. it made me laugh evene more that the 2nd gif was mary cherry. :lol:

gentenaire
Mar 11th, 2013, 01:10 PM
About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old's fantasy.

Not surprising considering it was originally Twilight fanfic. She simply changed the names and had it published again.