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View Full Version : Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!


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VeeJJ
Jul 8th, 2012, 11:11 PM
I'm so surprised with the nearly 100% gay population here we don't have a dating thread. This isn't a gay dating thread just dating in general. We all rant rant and vent about dates, boys, girls, relationships. Relieve your stresses here. Ask for advice, we will judge honestly and harshly and attempt to make you a complete mess, but that's best part :devil:

Two rules(that most of you will disregard):

1. Rant away but it would be great if we could see who you are ranting about. Pics are always welcome.
2. Don't bash other posters for their decisions or choice of guy.

VeeJJ
Jul 8th, 2012, 11:12 PM
I'll start, obviously.

Recently I've been having the same issue. I've been going on some dates and finally 2 of those dates were good ones good guys. But communication is not a much as I would like I guess? I'm int that phase where I'm looking for that reassurance that they really do like me. And I always find the guys that text seldom throughout the day and then naturally I think that if they don't text me for a while they've lost interest. Yeah I'm pretty much a mess already :lol: But whateves. Why is it so hard for guys to just be like "I like you, talk to ya later when I'm free." or just give some kinda message that gives some type of security.

Men in Question:

James
60033

Justin
60034

Nicolás89
Jul 8th, 2012, 11:35 PM
My thread. :hearts: I'm gonna be here a lot. :lol: :o

I'll start, obviously.

Recently I've been having the same issue. I've been going on some dates and finally 2 of those dates were good ones good guys. But communication is not a much as I would like I guess? I'm int that phase where I'm looking for that reassurance that they really do like me. And I always find the guys that text seldom throughout the day and then naturally I think that if they don't text me for a while they've lost interest. Yeah I'm pretty much a mess already :lol: But whateves. Why is it so hard for guys to just be like "I like you, talk to ya later when I'm free." or just give some kinda message that gives some type of security.

Because that would be too damn good. :lol:

My advice here is clear, I think you should call some of these guys instead of just expecting them to call you. ;)

Nicolás89
Jul 8th, 2012, 11:37 PM
Men in Question:

James
60033

Justin
60034

Pick Justin! :lol: :oh:

VeeJJ
Jul 8th, 2012, 11:40 PM
Omg I battle with myself all the time about that. I want to but I don't wanna come off as too needy and fuck shit you. I want them to want to talk to me as equally bad as I wanna talk to them. It's like I create my own mind games. I've been getting much better but still. And with Justin it's horrible because he will take initiative and text me and talk but sporadically and I've still yet to get that "I like you, don't worry" assurance so i try and space out my text. The worst is when it takes them like 4 hours to text back and you sit and question life. :lol:

VeeJJ
Jul 8th, 2012, 11:41 PM
Pick Justin! :lol: :oh:

Bahaha James is adorable!!! They both basically have the same body and build. It's dead even.

Nicolás89
Jul 8th, 2012, 11:48 PM
Omg I battle with myself all the time about that. I want to but I don't wanna come off as too needy and fuck shit you. I want them to want to talk to me as equally bad as I wanna talk to them. It's like I create my own mind games. I've been getting much better but still. And with Justin it's horrible because he will take initiative and text me and talk but sporadically and I've still yet to get that "I like you, don't worry" assurance so i try and space out my text. The worst is when it takes them like 4 hours to text back and you sit and question life. :lol:

That's me most of the time too.

So you basically just had 1 date with the 2 and just been texting each other since then?

I think if you want to know their feelings you should arrange a second date making it sure to whatever guy you choose your romantic intentions and see what happens, if it doesn't work with one at least you have the other, lucky you :o :lol:

VeeJJ
Jul 8th, 2012, 11:54 PM
We were talking a bit before the date and still after. The chemistry is there. I'm pretty sure I made it very apparent I'm into them. I know they like me, but I just want them to be much more apparent.

Omg backtrack to different guy, similar situation: Bout to weeks ago me and this guy Mike had been doing more or less the same thing and I initiated the second date and let him choose the time. Douche bailed and never texted after that. The worst part is the guys that always do that are the ones youre into the most. He fit the physical description to a fucking Tee, tall dark, perfect cuddler, kisser, the works. I was fucking LIVID!!! :lol:

Sean.
Jul 8th, 2012, 11:55 PM
I'll start, obviously.

Recently I've been having the same issue. I've been going on some dates and finally 2 of those dates were good ones good guys. But communication is not a much as I would like I guess? I'm int that phase where I'm looking for that reassurance that they really do like me. And I always find the guys that text seldom throughout the day and then naturally I think that if they don't text me for a while they've lost interest. Yeah I'm pretty much a mess already :lol: But whateves. Why is it so hard for guys to just be like "I like you, talk to ya later when I'm free." or just give some kinda message that gives some type of security.

Want my honest advice? Stop being so needy!

Don't take this the wrong way, but you worrying about them liking you could be more to do with your insecurities than their communication.

I guarantee you if one of them were to text you all the time & throw themselves at you, you wouldn't want them. You always want what you can't have. Play the mind games. ;)

If I got an "I like you, don't worry" text, I'd piss myself laughing. I thought straight guys were supposed to be the ones with bad chat? :lol:

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:01 AM
Want my honest advice? Stop being so needy!

Don't take this the wrong way, but you worrying about them liking you could be more to do with your insecurities than their communication.

I guarantee you if one of them were to text you all the time & throw themselves at you, you wouldn't want them. You always want what you can't have. Play the mind games. ;)

If I got an "I like you, don't worry" text, I'd piss myself laughing. I thought straight guys were supposed to be the ones with bad chat? :lol:

I wasn't being literal as in they need to say those excat thing. And you're absolutely right I don't want them texting me all the fucking time. But I want to have time set aside or something for conversation. And i want to obtain that feeling of security that they will make that time or at least want to. It's not that I'm overly needy, i'm just in that "assurance phase." After I get it I'll be fine but I need it :lol:

The worst is when douche bag guys tell you they have nothing planed and neither do you and they don't take the obvious opportunity to make plan or at least carry on a conversation in that down time, they disappear.

Sean.
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:02 AM
My advice here is clear, I think you should call some of these guys instead of just expecting them to call you. ;)

This is good advice, it takes two to tango! You can't expect him to put all the leg work in. It's hard to tell, not knowing the ins and outs of the situation, but it's possible he's in exactly the same situation & isn't sure if you're into him.


And with Justin it's horrible because he will take initiative and text me and talk but sporadically

Tell me these "sporadic" texts don't come late at night or in the early hours of the morning, and generally lead to sex? If so, I've got bad news for you, you're a booty call! :hug:


The worst is when it takes them like 4 hours to text back and you sit and question life. :lol:

Are you for real? :help:

Sean.
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:04 AM
Bahaha James is adorable!!! They both basically have the same body and build. It's dead even.

I'm confused! You say you're really into them, but there are two guys. :scratch:

You're obviously not that into either of them, if you're already considering another option.

delicatecutter
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:06 AM
I'm going to be nice. :oh:

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:07 AM
This is good advice, it takes two to tango! You can't expect him to put all the leg work in. It's hard to tell, not knowing the ins and outs of the situation, but it's possible he's in exactly the same situation & isn't sure if you're into him.

If thats the case I'm so screwed for life :lol:

Tell me these "sporadic" texts don't come late at night or in the early hours of the morning, and generally lead to sex? If so, I've got bad news for you, you're a booty call! :hug:


Bitch please. I may be a twink, but not a dumb one. That's not what I'm on the market for. I set rules with guys quick. They have to understand what my intentions are before a date and their intentions must be similar. I have no time for tricks and games.

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:09 AM
I'm confused! You say you're really into them, but there are two guys. :scratch:

You're obviously not that into either of them, if you're already considering another option.

uh, calm down. How into either of them can I be? We went on one date. It takes me a few dates to really have a feel for a guy and if they are the right guy for me. Everyone is on even playing ground right now.

Sean.
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:11 AM
Again, I'm just speculating here, I don't really know the details, but it's possible you're just expecting things to happen too fast. What sort of time frames are we talking here between meeting, texting phase, dates, etc.? Days, weeks, months? :p

Nicolás89
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:12 AM
Ouch! Sean is being brutally honest. :lol:

He's saying the truth though, you really need to clear your mind, you're dating around (not saying that's a bad thing) testing your dates even. You probably just want the feeling of being liked more than the guys you've been meeting.

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:13 AM
Ouch! Sean is being brutally honest. :lol:

He's saying the truth though, you really need to clear your mind, you're dating around (not saying that's a bad thing) testing your dates even. You probably just want the feeling of being liked more than the guys you've been meeting.

Bitch, way to turn. Didn't you just say you do the same shit :lol: scheming bitchesssssss

Sean.
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:14 AM
uh, calm down. How into either of them can I be? We went on one date. It takes me a few dates to really have a feel for a guy and if they are the right guy for me. Everyone is on even playing ground right now.

Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude or anything. Apologies, if I came across too strongly, I just trying to understand the situation. :hug:

I think it's a bit different from stuff I've experienced. How are you meeting these guys?

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:16 AM
Again, I'm just speculating here, I don't really know the details, but it's possible you're just expecting things to happen too fast. What sort of time frames are we talking here between meeting, texting phase, dates, etc.? Days, weeks, months? :p

Short ones. Not much time has past. And I don't want an "instant boyfriend just add water" kinda guy. I try and prolong the dating process as long as humanly possible before relationships happen. I'm still just looking for that assurance that I wasn't a total loser on our date and stuff.

delicatecutter
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:16 AM
Maybe they're just not that into you? :shrug:

Sean.
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:18 AM
Ouch! Sean is being brutally honest. :lol:

He's saying the truth though, you really need to clear your mind, you're dating around (not saying that's a bad thing) testing your dates even. You probably just want the feeling of being liked more than the guys you've been meeting.

:hi5:

Again, apologies for the brutal honesty VJJ, but this is the impression I get too.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, we all like to feel wanted. ;)

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:18 AM
Maybe they're just not that into you? :shrug:

Possible and totally fine. send some kind of message. Obviously the eagerness is a sign and if it continues much longer I get it but still i leave the option for a mature departure open.

Nicolás89
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:19 AM
Bitch, way to turn. Didn't you just say you do the same shit :lol: scheming bitchesssssss

I try to stick with one guy though. :hug:

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:24 AM
I try to stick with one guy though. :hug:

It's not like I didn't on purpose, just because I go on a date with one guy doesn't mean my dating life automatically becomes reserved until he's out of the picture, thats dumb.

Sean.
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:26 AM
Short ones. Not much time has past. And I don't want an "instant boyfriend just add water" kinda guy. I try and prolong the dating process as long as humanly possible before relationships happen. I'm still just looking for that assurance that I wasn't a total loser on our date and stuff.

Try setting up a second date after a short while, I'd say them agreement to another meet is a pretty good signal of interest. You really do have to relax your 4 hour rule though!

As for the ones that just ditch you, thank your lucky stars you got out when you did, because there's only a whole lotta heart ache waiting for you later on down those roads. ;)

LeRoy.
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:27 AM
Do these people know u r posting their pics and names for thousands of people to see ? Do you have their permission to post these pics? :speakles: Someone could end up in major trouble because of this.

delicatecutter
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:28 AM
:spit:

Sean.
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:28 AM
It's not like I didn't on purpose, just because I go on a date with one guy doesn't mean my dating life automatically becomes reserved until he's out of the picture, thats dumb.

Sorry, I find this really strange. Normally, if I'm interested in somebody, I don't really have eyes for anyone else.

Unless you didn't know the guy before the date?

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:32 AM
Try setting up a second date after a short while, I'd say them agreement to another meet is a pretty good signal of interest. You really do have to relax your 4 hour rule though!

As for the ones that just ditch you, thank your lucky stars you got out when you did, because there's only a whole lotta heart ache waiting for you later on down those roads. ;)

gracias, and no offense and i'm saying this just cause I get the vibe, I'm not a 16 year old boy dating around. I've unfortunately had the dreadful luxury of being a train wreck of a relationship for two and a half years with a grown man. This isn't my first rodeo. everyone is subject to a decent amount of insecurity within their personal life.

Do these people know u r posting their pics and names for thousands of people to see ? Do you have their permission to post these pics? :speakles: Someone could end up in major trouble because of this.

Go away.

Nicolás89
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:33 AM
It's not like I didn't on purpose, just because I go on a date with one guy doesn't mean my dating life automatically becomes reserved until he's out of the picture, thats dumb.

It is if you claim you're really into them.

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:35 AM
Sorry, I find this really strange. Normally, if I'm interested in somebody, I don't really have eyes for anyone else.

Unless you didn't know the guy before the date?

I'm interested in finding someone long term. one date doesn't grant you that status. I have prospective guys right now, one or none of them will make the ultimate cut. whom ever decides to really show interest will get the attention and then things will change.

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:37 AM
It is if you claim you're really into them.

as mentioned before, clearly that statement was taken too literally. How "into" a guy can I be after a date? dating is a process. I'm not about to get all giddy and start drawing "Dillon + "Whoever" 4EVA" heart pics.

Sean.
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:40 AM
gracias, and no offense and i'm saying this just cause I get the vibe, I'm not a 16 year old boy dating around.

:spit: Excuse me?

delicatecutter
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:41 AM
I'm interested in finding someone long term. one date doesn't grant you that status. I have prospective guys right now, one or none of them will make the ultimate cut. whom ever decides to really show interest will get the attention and then things will change.

I guess it's nice you think so highly of yourself.

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:41 AM
:spit: Excuse me?

What:confused:

Sean.
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:43 AM
What:confused:

Sorry, I recon I misunderstood. I thought you were calling me that! :hysteric:

Mate, trust me, been there done that, fucked up, lost the t-shirt! :o

Nicolás89
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:44 AM
I'm interested in finding someone long term. one date doesn't grant you that status. I have prospective guys right now, one or none of them will make the ultimate cut. whom ever decides to really show interest will get the attention and then things will change.

Sorry but I think you need to get over yourself a little here, what if the other guys were like you?

as mentioned before, clearly that statement was taken too literally. How "into" a guy can I be after a date? dating is a process. I'm not about to get all giddy and start drawing "Dillon + "Whoever" 4EVA" heart pics.

I don't work that way, usually to take some guy to a date I already want something concrete with them, I don't date just to test the waters so to speak.

Moveyourfeet
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:47 AM
Do these people know u r posting their pics and names for thousands of people to see ? Do you have their permission to post these pics?

Exactly. You are a hot mess.

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:49 AM
I do want something concrete. I just ALWAYS feel like I'm the one who expresses initiative. I came to the conclusion that I was being too aggressive, now that I want other guys to show initiative I'm being conceited? It's like common ground doesn't exist.

Sean.
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:50 AM
I don't work that way, usually to take some guy to a date I already want something concrete with them, I don't date just to test the waters so to speak.

This.

Sean.
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:51 AM
Do you realise you've spelt 'thread' incorrectly?

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:52 AM
Do you realise you've spelt thread incorrectly?

Now I do.

delicatecutter
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:54 AM
I've noticed lots of spelling and grammar errors all around. :sobbing:

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:00 AM
Didn't know I had to so precise :rolleyes: It obviously didn't effect anyone's ability to understand it and bitch.

Sean.
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:03 AM
I do want something concrete. I just ALWAYS feel like I'm the one who expresses initiative. I came to the conclusion that I was being too aggressive, now that I want other guys to show initiative I'm being conceited? It's like common ground doesn't exist.

Let's get this thread back on track. :p

What sort of thing would you like them to do, that would convince you they're interested? :)

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:06 AM
I'd like them to hint at wanting to see me again or flirt playfully, normal things you do when you're into someone. We have good convos when we talk, normal ones about events in our day normal stuff. But can always sneak in a "I like you" comment in some disguised witty way that sends the message, ya know what I mean?

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:07 AM
be back later, food.

I know there are plenty of other messes on this site, other bitches better start repping the mess that they are.

delicatecutter
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:08 AM
Didn't know I had to so precise :rolleyes: It obviously didn't effect anyone's ability to understand it and bitch.

*affect :sobbing:

Sean.
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:11 AM
be back later, food.

I know there are plenty of other messes on this site, other bitches better start repping the mess that they are.

Oh trust me, you don't even want to know. ;)


Wally, grammar police! :o

delicatecutter
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:14 AM
I'd like them to hint at wanting to see me again or flirt playfully, normal things you do when you're into someone. We have good convos when we talk, normal ones about events in our day normal stuff. But can always sneak in a "I like you" comment in some disguised witty way that sends the message, ya know what I mean?

Well if they wanted to see you again, they would say, "I want to see you again." Just saying. It isn't rocket science.

Nicolás89
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:17 AM
Well if they wanted to see you again, they would say, "I want to see you again." Just saying. It isn't rocket science.

Quit trying to put people down, is that how you feel better with yourself? :o :lol:

delicatecutter
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:23 AM
Quit trying to put people down, is that how you feel better with yourself? :o :lol:

I'm not putting anyone down. :unsure: That's how it has worked in my experience..

Nicolás89
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:24 AM
I'm not putting anyone down. :unsure: That's how it has worked in my experience..

Sure.

delicatecutter
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:28 AM
I would love to share a recent dating story I had that was pretty embarrassing (yet funny in hindsight) but I can't because some people will just make fun of me. I'm not perfect and never pretended to be better than anybody. I'm not trying to put anyone down and I'm sorry if it came across that way.

Nicolás89
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:36 AM
Back on topic.
Cute or not?

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/538790_434603933222582_845250658_n.jpg

I may want something with him, problem is he is 3 years younger than me & it shows.

delicatecutter
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:37 AM
Is this one actually gay? That should be your first obstacle to hurdle.

debopero
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:43 AM
UGH, I'm jealous that the OP even has people that might possibly be interested in him :o :lol: .

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:45 AM
Back on topic.
Cute or not?

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/538790_434603933222582_845250658_n.jpg

I may want something with him, problem is he is 3 years younger than me & it shows.

Whats going on with his right eye?

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:46 AM
UGH, I'm jealous that the OP even has people that might possibly be interested in him :o :lol: .

wtf bitch? throw shade elsewhere.

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:48 AM
I would love to share a recent dating story I had that was pretty embarrassing (yet funny in hindsight) but I can't because some people will just make fun of me. I'm not perfect and never pretended to be better than anybody. I'm not trying to put anyone down and I'm sorry if it came across that way.

So basically, you don't wanna tell you're story because you don't wanna get bitched at like you're bitching at me? Hmmmmm. We've come full circle.

Just spill the Tea, it's the purpose of this thread.

debopero
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:48 AM
wtf bitch? throw shade elsewhere.

There was no shade in that post . I jokingly said that I am jealous that you at least have people who possibly could be into you. Relax :unsure:.

Nicolás89
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:49 AM
He is single but I don't know his sexual orientation. With my luck he probably is straight though (the story of my life).

About his right eye, I bet it is just the light or something about the quality of the picture / camera.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/393516_3169649119593_1899837115_n.jpg

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:49 AM
Sorry, mis-interpreted. :hug:

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:50 AM
He is single but I don't know his sexual orientation. With my luck he probably is straight though (the story of my life).

About his right eye, I bet it is just the light or something about the quality of the picture / camera.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/393516_3169649119593_1899837115_n.jpg

he's cute, orientation matters a lot dear.

Sean.
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:51 AM
Matias, why don't you just go for guys you know are gay?

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:53 AM
#gaydarissues

Nicolás89
Jul 9th, 2012, 01:57 AM
he's cute, orientation matters a lot dear.

Matias, why don't you just go for guys you know are gay?

I just feel attracted to straight guys naturally. Can't help it.

delicatecutter
Jul 9th, 2012, 02:19 AM
I just feel attracted to straight guys naturally. Can't help it.

It seems like you want to sabotage yourself. Literally if you are naturally attracted to straight guys. :lol: Nothing is going to happen there. :o If you mean you are attracted to masculine guys, there are plenty of gays that are masculine. You just have to get out there and do some research.

delicatecutter
Jul 9th, 2012, 02:21 AM
So basically, you don't wanna tell you're story because you don't wanna get bitched at like you're bitching at me? Hmmmmm. We've come full circle.

Just spill the Tea, it's the purpose of this thread.

No one would bitch at me.. I have haters on here, unfortunately. And you have yet to share any embarrassing stories so it's not even the same thing..

Reptilia
Jul 9th, 2012, 02:24 AM
:oh:

Nicolás89
Jul 9th, 2012, 02:33 AM
It seems like you want to sabotage yourself. Literally if you are naturally attracted to straight guys. :lol: Nothing is going to happen there. :o If you mean you are attracted to masculine guys, there are plenty of gays that are masculine. You just have to get out there and do some research.

That's definitely my problem. To be clear I'm not just attracted to straight guys, I have obviously been involved with gay gay guys it is just that sometimes I fell for the insecure sexually confused straight. That's not the case with this new guy though, he is most definitely just straight.

égalité
Jul 9th, 2012, 02:49 AM
So maybe I'm going to be a debbie downer, but I started dating this absolutely gorgeous guy who has really severe body image issues, and I'm not always sure what to say. :unsure: Has anyone had to deal with this before, either from a partner or from yourself? I'm trying not to go overboard with complimenting his appearance because I think it makes him uncomfortable, but at the same time I want to reassure him that he's fucking hot and that everyone thinks so except him. I'm quite certain the issues stem from a really bad family situation but I don't want to pry too much into that. IDK, I just don't want it to be a negative force in the relationship and I haven't had to deal with it before. Advice/experiences to share, anyone?

Nicolás89
Jul 9th, 2012, 03:11 AM
So maybe I'm going to be a debbie downer, but I started dating this absolutely gorgeous guy who has really severe body image issues, and I'm not always sure what to say. :unsure: Has anyone had to deal with this before, either from a partner or from yourself? I'm trying not to go overboard with complimenting his appearance because I think it makes him uncomfortable, but at the same time I want to reassure him that he's fucking hot and that everyone thinks so except him. I'm quite certain the issues stem from a really bad family situation but I don't want to pry too much into that. IDK, I just don't want it to be a negative force in the relationship and I haven't had to deal with it before. Advice/experiences to share, anyone?

We need pictures. :oh: :lol: No, seriously though I think you should talk with him about it & see what the real problem is, being insecure about your body is just a symptom of bigger self steem issues.

égalité
Jul 9th, 2012, 03:20 AM
We need pictures. :oh: :lol: No, seriously though I think you should talk with him about it & see what the real problem is, being insecure about your body is just a symptom of bigger self steem issues.

here :oh:

http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/9327_1240536851165_6196721_n.jpg

delicatecutter
Jul 9th, 2012, 03:24 AM
Is he in recovery from an eating disorder? :unsure:

égalité
Jul 9th, 2012, 03:26 AM
Not that I know of. I think it's depression related. I just want to know how to help/support. :tears:

delicatecutter
Jul 9th, 2012, 03:27 AM
Well it seems strange that he would have body issues otherwise if he's not overweight..

Nicolás89
Jul 9th, 2012, 03:29 AM
here :oh:

http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/9327_1240536851165_6196721_n.jpg

Wow he really is hot. :oh:

If it really is depression related maybe you could suggest therapy, or he won't even admit he has self esteem problems?

égalité
Jul 9th, 2012, 03:31 AM
No, I've seen that happen before (in my family). Your body can sort of become the "target" of your negative self-talk even if you've never had issues with weight in the past.

égalité
Jul 9th, 2012, 03:32 AM
Wow he really is hot. :oh:

If it really is depression related maybe you could suggest therapy, or he won't even admit he has self esteem problems?

Yes I know :oh:

He knows he has those issues. He's been in therapy in the past but he's not in it now. I could suggest getting back in it.

Nicolás89
Jul 9th, 2012, 03:37 AM
Yes I know :oh:

He knows he has those issues. He's been in therapy in the past but he's not in it now. I could suggest getting back in it.

I think that would be a great idea. There's little you can do if he is depressed more than just being there for him, I know that from personal experience.

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 03:41 AM
It seems like you want to sabotage yourself. Literally if you are naturally attracted to straight guys. :lol: Nothing is going to happen there. :o If you mean you are attracted to masculine guys, there are plenty of gays that are masculine. You just have to get out there and do some research.

I like gay guys, but ones you can't tell are gay, so very manly masculine ones. Sounds like what you're looking for. they exist but are hard to find.

So maybe I'm going to be a debbie downer, but I started dating this absolutely gorgeous guy who has really severe body image issues, and I'm not always sure what to say. :unsure: Has anyone had to deal with this before, either from a partner or from yourself? I'm trying not to go overboard with complimenting his appearance because I think it makes him uncomfortable, but at the same time I want to reassure him that he's fucking hot and that everyone thinks so except him. I'm quite certain the issues stem from a really bad family situation but I don't want to pry too much into that. IDK, I just don't want it to be a negative force in the relationship and I haven't had to deal with it before. Advice/experiences to share, anyone?

I dated this guy with crazy insecurity issues about his image. I made a comment about how slim his legs looked in his jeans and he stopped dating me saying he did need all that "negativity around him" and "I was bad for him." I only date fit to muscular guys so his legs weren't really slim. He was wackaaadoooo!!!

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 03:43 AM
Yes I know :oh:

He knows he has those issues. He's been in therapy in the past but he's not in it now. I could suggest getting back in it.

It sound slike he has some personal issues to take care of before he should be involved with anyone personally. It seems like you could be dragged down or always put in a weird spot by this. touchy issue. I know from personal experience

Dominic
Jul 9th, 2012, 04:14 AM
No, I've seen that happen before (in my family). Your body can sort of become the "target" of your negative self-talk even if you've never had issues with weight in the past.

Give him LOTS of affection, that's what I would do!

Novichok
Jul 9th, 2012, 04:15 AM
VeeJJ are you masculine?

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 04:20 AM
VeeJJ are you masculine?

Nope.

well it depends on who ya ask and how long ya know me. Once you get my personality and we know each other I'm fairly masculine. First impression, nope.

moby
Jul 9th, 2012, 04:23 AM
This thread is the best.

VeeJJ
Jul 9th, 2012, 04:26 AM
This thread is the best.

Isn't it just the biggest gay mess you've ever seen? :hearts::hearts::hearts:

moby
Jul 9th, 2012, 04:32 AM
Isn't it just the biggest gay mess you've ever seen? :hearts::hearts::hearts:

d9zFt6M_GLo

Obviously not. But maybe there is potential building.

Serenus Christ
Jul 9th, 2012, 07:01 AM
wait, this exists http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/c3ed7b23.gif

Pump-it-UP
Jul 9th, 2012, 12:51 PM
Hmm.... :lol:

Nicolás89
Jul 9th, 2012, 06:57 PM
This thread is the best.

This thread needs you.

Sean.
Jul 9th, 2012, 08:19 PM
So maybe I'm going to be a debbie downer, but I started dating this absolutely gorgeous guy who has really severe body image issues, and I'm not always sure what to say. :unsure: Has anyone had to deal with this before, either from a partner or from yourself? I'm trying not to go overboard with complimenting his appearance because I think it makes him uncomfortable, but at the same time I want to reassure him that he's fucking hot and that everyone thinks so except him. I'm quite certain the issues stem from a really bad family situation but I don't want to pry too much into that. IDK, I just don't want it to be a negative force in the relationship and I haven't had to deal with it before. Advice/experiences to share, anyone?

I suggest you suggest to him that he takes some professional help. If someone has some serious self esteem issues, they're not going to listen no matter how much you tell them they've got nothing to worry about. It's something they have to work through themselves, and a councillor will know how to help them do that. :)

Dav.
Jul 9th, 2012, 08:21 PM
I suggest you suggest to him that he takes some professional help. If someone has some serious self esteem issues, they're not going to listen no matter how much you tell them they've got nothing to worry about. It's something they have to work through themselves, and a councillor will know how to help them do that. :)

Anxiety can be very debilitating and it sounds to me like he may have GAD, but he definitely needs to seek therapy if it has become as serious as the other poster described. Otherwise, the anxiety typically progresses and more attacks will develop. :awww:

Mixal
Jul 9th, 2012, 08:50 PM
I like gay guys, but ones you can't tell are gay, so very manly masculine ones. I only date fit to muscular guys...

I dated this guy with crazy insecurity issues about his image.

How surprising.

VeeJJ
Jul 10th, 2012, 03:35 PM
Why?

melodynelson
Jul 10th, 2012, 05:10 PM
Personally, I don't really pursue anyone unless they do express enough interest in me. I'm always casual, but if I don't see that they respond to me much, or don't initiate much, if ever, then I kind of let it go. And I see nothing wrong with casual dating with several people at once, you're testing the waters. When you meet someone and you click, it happens.

I've never found a boyfriend by actually looking, though, it just kind of falls into place or happens. Searching something long term is just too much energy spent.

Kasey
Jul 10th, 2012, 08:49 PM
Just wanted to say ........team Justin :cheer:

Nicolás89
Jul 10th, 2012, 08:54 PM
Any update VeeJJ? :yippee:

VeeJJ
Jul 11th, 2012, 06:00 AM
Things are shifting in favor of Team Justin, but in James' defense he was in Dallas the past week or so. Justin is showing more initiative which is good but he's communication is a bit more inconsistent than I'd like. I straight up told him he needs to figure out a date for us and he said he was on it. So we shall see. That date should be this weekend. Reluctance has a limit. James I haven't really pressed yet but I'm gonna try and beef up communication and see how he responds.

Randomness occurred Monday though. A guy from my past randomly showed up. And when I say past I mean we hookup a few months ago. i told him I wasn't interested ion any of that anymore. He immediately asked for a date inwhich immediately called him out and said "it doesn't matter what you do I'm not gonna have sex with you" but he still wanted a date. And he was all set about it to. So he's booked for Thursday. Names Rich. Though this may scream that he obviously wants some ass. last time we met up after the sex we ended up having this super long conversation just about each others lives and kinda clicked. but he left for work and now he's back in town. Most likely a dead end but it can't hurt.

My goal is to be able to recap all this by monday assuming things start to get going on all fronts by the end of this week.

Nicolás89
Jul 12th, 2012, 12:27 AM
Things are shifting in favor of Team Justin, but in James' defense he was in Dallas the past week or so. Justin is showing more initiative which is good but he's communication is a bit more inconsistent than I'd like. I straight up told him he needs to figure out a date for us and he said he was on it. So we shall see. That date should be this weekend. Reluctance has a limit. James I haven't really pressed yet but I'm gonna try and beef up communication and see how he responds.

Randomness occurred Monday though. A guy from my past randomly showed up. And when I say past I mean we hookup a few months ago. i told him I wasn't interested ion any of that anymore. He immediately asked for a date inwhich immediately called him out and said "it doesn't matter what you do I'm not gonna have sex with you" but he still wanted a date. And he was all set about it to. So he's booked for Thursday. Names Rich. Though this may scream that he obviously wants some ass. last time we met up after the sex we ended up having this super long conversation just about each others lives and kinda clicked. but he left for work and now he's back in town. Most likely a dead end but it can't hurt.

My goal is to be able to recap all this by monday assuming things start to get going on all fronts by the end of this week.

No it can't, just your ass apparently. :tape:

Why are you able to be so straight up with this new guy but you can't do the same with Justin or James? :confused:

shap_half
Jul 12th, 2012, 03:39 AM
My last couple of weeks have been incredibly stressful, and I knew that trolling through TF's NT pages will bring some the necessary respite. Lo and behold, this thread exists.

My feedback back for the OP: Dating is hard. I find that if someone isn't behaving according to the expectations I have of them, and I'm getting flustered or upset that I just need to calm my shit down, because those negative feelings aren't about them, they're about me and my emotional instability. You say it's not your first time at the rodeo, but at the end of the day, we all stick with the same behavioral patterns whether we're dating for the first time or for the hundredth. Meaning, I would wager you were doing the very same things with the first guy you liked that you are now. Anyway, point is, if someone likes you, he will make it known. Even when I try to play it cool and keep it coy, I can't. If I like someone and want to spend more time with them, I just make the effort to do so. I don't know how old you are, but if your main concern when it comes to dating is to find a lasting relationship, you're gonna need to behave like it. If two people are attracted to and want to spend more time with one another, both should actually work on making everything work.

But really as someone who thought he seriously liked five different men since June 4th, I may not be counted on to give suitable dating advice.

VeeJJ
Jul 12th, 2012, 11:57 PM
No it can't, just your ass apparently. :tape:

Why are you able to be so straight up with this new guy but you can't do the same with Justin or James? :confused:

I have been straight up with them. I'm straight up with everyone. They know what I'm looking for. And if they just want sex they can kick rocks.

VeeJJ
Jul 13th, 2012, 12:01 AM
My last couple of weeks have been incredibly stressful, and I knew that trolling through TF's NT pages will bring some the necessary respite. Lo and behold, this thread exists.

My feedback back for the OP: Dating is hard. I find that if someone isn't behaving according to the expectations I have of them, and I'm getting flustered or upset that I just need to calm my shit down, because those negative feelings aren't about them, they're about me and my emotional instability. You say it's not your first time at the rodeo, but at the end of the day, we all stick with the same behavioral patterns whether we're dating for the first time or for the hundredth. Meaning, I would wager you were doing the very same things with the first guy you liked that you are now. Anyway, point is, if someone likes you, he will make it known. Even when I try to play it cool and keep it coy, I can't. If I like someone and want to spend more time with them, I just make the effort to do so. I don't know how old you are, but if your main concern when it comes to dating is to find a lasting relationship, you're gonna need to behave like it. If two people are attracted to and want to spend more time with one another, both should actually work on making everything work.

But really as someone who thought he seriously liked five different men since June 4th, I may not be counted on to give suitable dating advice.

Girl you sound just as much of a mess as me. And i get what you're saying. I've said the same thing to my friends. Saying and applying are different things. And breaking a behavior pattern or even modifying it takes time. If it was so easy everyone would be perfect and this would be a wonderful life.

The Dawntreader
Jul 13th, 2012, 12:46 AM
Dating is all about acting to some extent. Especially if you're content on not destroying a friendly dynamic that occurs in the initial stages. Once you get more intimate, you can start to become more expressive and demanding of your own personality to do most of the work.

If by that time, the person still isn't your 'ideal', then you should just abort it.

Nicolás89
Jul 13th, 2012, 01:04 AM
I have been straight up with them. I'm straight up with everyone. They know what I'm looking for. And if they just want sex they can kick rocks.

But you've said that you expect them to make all the moves, why can't you do that?

Dating is all about acting to some extent. Especially if you're content on not destroying a friendly dynamic that occurs in the initial stages. Once you get more intimate, you can start to become more expressive and demanding of your own personality to do most of the work.

If by that time, the person still isn't your 'ideal', then you should just abort it.

Spot on. :yeah:

VeeJJ
Jul 13th, 2012, 01:04 AM
Dating is all about acting to some extent. Especially if you're content on not destroying a friendly dynamic that occurs in the initial stages. Once you get more intimate, you can start to become more expressive and demanding of your own personality to do most of the work.

If by that time, the person still isn't your 'ideal', then you should just abort it.

This is the best dating nutshell I have heard.

VeeJJ
Jul 13th, 2012, 01:05 AM
But you've said that you expect them to make all the moves, why can't you do that?



Spot on. :yeah:

I would like them to initiate. I have basically asked them when our next date was. And me setting up the date is the last thing that is done. I do it when I've finally got too impatient and if they doesn't go well then they are gone. simple.

Nicolás89
Jul 13th, 2012, 01:08 AM
I would like them to initiate. I have basically asked them when our next date was. And me setting up the date is the last thing that is done. I do it when I've finally got too impatient and if they doesn't go well then they are gone. simple.

And when is your next date?

Novichok
Jul 13th, 2012, 01:15 AM
I would like them to initiate. I have basically asked them when our next date was. And me setting up the date is the last thing that is done. I do it when I've finally got too impatient and if they doesn't go well then they are gone. simple.

Just a question:

If I remember correctly, you have a certain preference (bottoming). Could you date someone who also was a bottom? And when you meet someone in real life, how do you go about asking them what their preference is? Should you do it on a first date? :o

dsanders06
Jul 13th, 2012, 01:21 AM
So maybe I'm going to be a debbie downer, but I started dating this absolutely gorgeous guy who has really severe body image issues, and I'm not always sure what to say. :unsure: Has anyone had to deal with this before, either from a partner or from yourself? I'm trying not to go overboard with complimenting his appearance because I think it makes him uncomfortable, but at the same time I want to reassure him that he's fucking hot and that everyone thinks so except him. I'm quite certain the issues stem from a really bad family situation but I don't want to pry too much into that. IDK, I just don't want it to be a negative force in the relationship and I haven't had to deal with it before. Advice/experiences to share, anyone?

As someone who's had self-esteem issues in the past (not exactly the same as this guy's), honestly if I was in his shoes I really would want you to be reassuring me as much as possible. I wouldn't necessarily interpret him being uncomfortable as a sign that he DOESN'T want you to compliment his appearance - I can get uncomfortable when people compliment me, mainly because I just don't know what to say (and also, partly because I'm wondering if the person is being truthful or just saying what they think I want to hear), but I still appreciate them a lot. When you're in that sort of mindset, you really have convinced yourself that the whole world thinks exactly the same as you do (in this guy's case, that the whole world thinks the same about his body that he does), and knowing that someone else genuinely doesn't think that really would help I think :shrug:

melodynelson
Jul 13th, 2012, 02:02 AM
Just a question:

If I remember correctly, you have a certain preference (bottoming). Could you date someone who also was a bottom? And when you meet someone in real life, how do you go about asking them what they're preference is? Should you do it on a first date? :o

The advantage of being versatile is this not mattering. Sometimes with some people you want them to be more of one thing or another, but usually it works out anyway.

Nicolás89
Jul 13th, 2012, 02:07 AM
That's definitely my problem. To be clear I'm not just attracted to straight guys, I have obviously been involved with gay gay guys it is just that sometimes I fell for the insecure sexually confused straight. That's not the case with this new guy though, he is most definitely just straight.

Not so much apparently, we arranged a date. :lol:

delicatecutter
Jul 13th, 2012, 02:14 AM
Not so much apparently, we arranged a date. :lol:

:cheer: Hope it goes well!

Nicolás89
Jul 13th, 2012, 02:24 AM
:cheer: Hope it goes well!

It will! :p

Novichok
Jul 13th, 2012, 02:27 AM
It will! :p

Do you have sex on the first date?

shap_half
Jul 13th, 2012, 02:31 AM
Girl you sound just as much of a mess as me. And i get what you're saying. I've said the same thing to my friends. Saying and applying are different things. And breaking a behavior pattern or even modifying it takes time. If it was so easy everyone would be perfect and this would be a wonderful life.

I considered deleting the post, because you're right: I'm a big tranny mess. Seriously, if I didn't take on a massive freelance project two weeks ago, who knows how much more I would have been drinking because of guys.

Nicolás89
Jul 13th, 2012, 02:34 AM
Do you have sex on the first date?

No.

Steven.
Jul 13th, 2012, 02:41 AM
I considered deleting the post, because you're right: I'm a big tranny mess. Seriously, if I didn't take on a massive freelance project two weeks ago, who knows how much more I would have been drinking because of guys.

clubbing is the best to get rid of negative emotions :cheer:

Novichok
Jul 13th, 2012, 02:44 AM
No.

Good for you. :lol:

Nicolás89
Jul 13th, 2012, 02:46 AM
Good for you. :lol:

Why? You're not the same? :lol:

Novichok
Jul 13th, 2012, 02:54 AM
Why? You're not the same? :lol:

No. Sometimes I do.

Nicolás89
Jul 13th, 2012, 03:02 AM
No. Sometimes I do.

Well of course I've had one night stands before I just don't call them dates. :lol:
This is a serious date with someone I would like to keep meeting! :p

Novichok
Jul 13th, 2012, 03:22 AM
Well of course I've had one night stands before I just don't call them dates. :lol:
This is a serious date with someone I would like to keep meeting! :p

Good luck. :cheer:

Nicolás89
Jul 13th, 2012, 03:35 AM
Good luck. :cheer:

:D

Umberella
Jul 13th, 2012, 04:01 AM
So I'm currently on a break with my boyfriend, and have been for about 2 weeks now. The reason for the break was because I wasn't fully ready to commit and settle down and what not. Then last week I hooked up with a different guy, and it was amazing. He was a very good kisser :3. And tonight I'm going out clubbing with mates again and who knows what will happen. And I am completely comfortbale and don't feel any guilt or anything. Am I a horrible person?

Steven.
Jul 13th, 2012, 04:13 AM
girl of course you're not a horrible person. You're just not ready to commit to him and it's not yours or his fault, just how things are and he's gunna have to accept that! Plus you're on a break anyway and so you shouldn't feel bad for having fun cause you guys technically aren't together. He's your first bf isn't he, I don't blame you for wanting to have fun since you're sitll heaps young too. :):hug:

Nicolás89
Jul 13th, 2012, 04:17 AM
Hopefully your bf isn't like Rachel from Friends! :lol:

Novichok
Jul 13th, 2012, 04:20 AM
So I'm currently on a break with my boyfriend, and have been for about 2 weeks now. The reason for the break was because I wasn't fully ready to commit and settle down and what not. Then last week I hooked up with a different guy, and it was amazing. He was a very good kisser :3. And tonight I'm going out clubbing with mates again and who knows what will happen. And I am completely comfortbale and don't feel any guilt or anything. Am I a horrible person?

How does that work? I don't think I would like anyone putting me on hold. I would feel like the back-up plan. :o

Nicolás89
Jul 13th, 2012, 04:26 AM
How does that work? I don't think I would like anyone putting me on hold. I would feel like the back-up plan. :o

They're obviously giving themselves space to figure out what they really want from each other.

Novichok
Jul 13th, 2012, 04:36 AM
They're obviously giving themselves space to figure out what they really want from each other.

Obviously. But the break doesn't seem to be balanced. It's a result of Umberella's refusal to commit and settle down (which is understandable since he's only 21). I'm just saying that I wouldn't like to be in the bf's position.

Sean.
Jul 13th, 2012, 10:31 AM
Obviously. But the break doesn't seem to be balanced. It's a result of Umberella's refusal to commit and settle down (which is understandable since he's only 21). I'm just saying that I wouldn't like to be in the bf's position.

Sometimes when you're in a long term relationship, it's easy for it just to become 'habit'. Sometimes you have to take a step back and work out if this is what you really want, or whether you're together just because your together (if that makes sense?).

It's normal for one person to have more doubts than the other, doesn't mean it's easy on either person, but it's better than settling down and regretting it later. ;)

shap_half
Jul 13th, 2012, 12:06 PM
Sometimes when you're in a long term relationship, it's easy for it just to become 'habit'. Sometimes you have to take a step back and work out if this is what you really want, or whether you're together just because your together (if that makes sense?).

It's normal for one person to have more doubts than the other, doesn't mean it's easy on either person, but it's better than settling down and regretting it later. ;)

Plus, if Umbrell's boyfriend knows about Umbrella's discomfort about settling down with a committed relationship, the boyfriend should probably just cut himself loose. If what we want don't match up, I'm not going to stick around while you figure your shit out. I'm too busy for that.

VeeJJ
Jul 13th, 2012, 01:12 PM
Just a question:

If I remember correctly, you have a certain preference (bottoming). Could you date someone who also was a bottom? And when you meet someone in real life, how do you go about asking them what their preference is? Should you do it on a first date? :o

Well since I pretty obviously look like a twink and I have a really huge ass it's implied. I'm pretty sure.

clubbing is the best to get rid of negative emotions :cheer:

Just alcohol can do it as well, or clubbing with another hot stranger.

So I'm currently on a break with my boyfriend, and have been for about 2 weeks now. The reason for the break was because I wasn't fully ready to commit and settle down and what not. Then last week I hooked up with a different guy, and it was amazing. He was a very good kisser :3. And tonight I'm going out clubbing with mates again and who knows what will happen. And I am completely comfortbale and don't feel any guilt or anything. Am I a horrible person?

Been there, done it. You want the best of both worlds. The security of the emotional and physically connection with your BF and then hot random sex with hot random strangers. Ask your BF if he'd do an open relationship. If not, stay single because that relationship will drag you to hell.

Plus, if Umbrell's boyfriend knows about Umbrella's discomfort about settling down with a committed relationship, the boyfriend should probably just cut himself loose. If what we want don't match up, I'm not going to stick around while you figure your shit out. I'm too busy for that.

Agreed. Like I said earlier, mention the open relationship, if you both dont want it. Cut loose.

VeeJJ
Jul 13th, 2012, 01:13 PM
Update:

So both Justin and James have kinda been falling off the map the past few days and my patience is almost at it's limit. I've basically gotten over them now so if they text me that's fine but i'm not longer showing incentive where it appears I'm not wanted.

VeeJJ
Jul 13th, 2012, 01:15 PM
Also, what's everyone's take on "Online Dating." This includes the multiple forms from sites like "Match.com" - "Grindr" or "Adam4Adam" NOt all have the same clear intention but introduce you to people via the web. Thoughts, comments, opinions?

shap_half
Jul 13th, 2012, 01:30 PM
I'm on Grindr. I have no qualms about its purpose and therefore don't mind admitting that I won't read your message if I'm not attracted to you. But I feel "bad" about blocking people. But some people have actually taken to yelling at me about it. An unnamed older gay gentleman once kept messaging me, and when the number of messages got to be annoyingly high, I finally read them. It was just him trying to educate me on Grindr etiquette and how if I don't like him I shouldn't not respond. I should just block him. I responded with "Thanks, have a nice day." And he blocked me.

Umberella
Jul 13th, 2012, 03:13 PM
girl of course you're not a horrible person. You're just not ready to commit to him and it's not yours or his fault, just how things are and he's gunna have to accept that! Plus you're on a break anyway and so you shouldn't feel bad for having fun cause you guys technically aren't together. He's your first bf isn't he, I don't blame you for wanting to have fun since you're sitll heaps young too. :):hug:

Aww thanks you're sweet :) And yes, he is my first. I just feel bad because essentially he's just there waiting for me while I'm trying to figure out if what I feel is a result of me wanting to experience things that I never got to in the past and once I experience them then I'll be content with him, or if I'm feeling this way because I don't love him enough to be with him. I just think I'm being pretty unfair, especially if after he waits around for this long, I just end up breaking up with him completely. :/

PS Sorry I couldnt hang out with you guys tonight, will hopefully see you next time!! ;)

Hopefully your bf isn't like Rachel from Friends! :lol:

I haven't watched too much friends, but hopefully not because that would mean he has a vagina which is a definite deal breaker :P

How does that work? I don't think I would like anyone putting me on hold. I would feel like the back-up plan. :o

As harsh as it sounds, I guess thats what I'm doing. I mean I was given the option, so I would be silly not to take it. It is a bit shit of me though.

Sometimes when you're in a long term relationship, it's easy for it just to become 'habit'. Sometimes you have to take a step back and work out if this is what you really want, or whether you're together just because your together (if that makes sense?).

It's normal for one person to have more doubts than the other, doesn't mean it's easy on either person, but it's better than settling down and regretting it later. ;)

Hmm thats a good way of looking at it. Thank you. I think things did become stale after a while and that was a major reason for me seeking other people. Hopefully this does make me realise whether I need him in my life or if I kept him just for convenience/comfort.

Plus, if Umbrell's boyfriend knows about Umbrella's discomfort about settling down with a committed relationship, the boyfriend should probably just cut himself loose. If what we want don't match up, I'm not going to stick around while you figure your shit out. I'm too busy for that.

I agree, I would probably do that if I was in his situation. But he is holding on to the hope that when the break is over that we will get back together and everything will be fine. I also hope that could work out too, but it kind of depends on how I feel inside. I guess I'm lucky that he is an optimist in that sense.

Been there, done it. You want the best of both worlds. The security of the emotional and physically connection with your BF and then hot random sex with hot random strangers. Ask your BF if he'd do an open relationship. If not, stay single because that relationship will drag you to hell.

I suggested the open relationship thing to him before actually, but he said if I wanted to be single then I should live a single life completely rather than having him around as well. He said he wasn't comfortable with it, which is fair enough. Its a shame because I do think that would work out for us really perfectly.

Overall, I'm kind of just enjoying the single life right now. After a couple more months, I'm going to give the relationship another serious try, but if I don't feel like its right for me, then I think I'll have to break it off. Its horrible because I know he's waiting around and kind of expects me to stay with him in the long-term, but whatever. I have to look out for myself first. I don't want to settle. I'll see how I go.

Thanks everyone for your comments, got some good insights!!! :)

Nicolás89
Jul 13th, 2012, 10:18 PM
I'm on Grindr. I have no qualms about its purpose and therefore don't mind admitting that I won't read your message if I'm not attracted to you. But I feel "bad" about blocking people. But some people have actually taken to yelling at me about it. An unnamed older gay gentleman once kept messaging me, and when the number of messages got to be annoyingly high, I finally read them. It was just him trying to educate me on Grindr etiquette and how if I don't like him I shouldn't not respond. I should just block him. I responded with "Thanks, have a nice day." And he blocked me.

:hysteric:

VeeJJ
Jul 14th, 2012, 12:26 AM
I'm on Grindr. I have no qualms about its purpose and therefore don't mind admitting that I won't read your message if I'm not attracted to you. But I feel "bad" about blocking people. But some people have actually taken to yelling at me about it. An unnamed older gay gentleman once kept messaging me, and when the number of messages got to be annoyingly high, I finally read them. It was just him trying to educate me on Grindr etiquette and how if I don't like him I shouldn't not respond. I should just block him. I responded with "Thanks, have a nice day." And he blocked me.
Dead!

Gurl, I just tell them I'm not interested off the bat. And dissmiss them. I don't have time for some naggy daddy to blow up my phone. more thna 3 unread messages gets a block.

Nicolás89
Jul 14th, 2012, 09:33 PM
I just wanted to say that my date went great, Fabian (my date) turned out to be a really sweet guy, it was a nice surprise. First we went for some drinks, after the usual talking when you meet someone & after a few laughs he said he need it to do some shopping (on a date really?) I agreed to go with him, fhe bought some things & he kind of felt embarrassed when he was looking for some boxers he didn't want me to see what size he wears, which I found odd but whatever :lol: after that & some more talking we got hungry so we went to burger king (DEAD) we were in the mood for some junk food, it got late so we headed to my place because it was near, there we made out a little :oh: we went to bed like at 3 am in separate rooms of course & he left early because he had to work. All in all I think the date was a succes the only "bad" thing for me is that he is kind of childish like not in an annoying way but more like the age difference between us really shows or maybe I'm just used to the very adult like date with older guys who like to go to fancy restaurants or bars for a date IDK, it was really refreshing to meet someone who is more like my age though, anyway we are going to see each other on sunday so I'm looking forward to that. :)

VeeJJ
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:11 PM
yay! positiveness and I totally get you on the childish thing. It's why i just cant date people around my age, they are all fucking children to me.

debby
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:17 PM
I just wanted to say that my date went great, Fabian (my date) turned out to be a really sweet guy, it was a nice surprise. First we went for some drinks, after the usual talking when you meet someone & after a few laughs he said he need it to do some shopping (on a date really?) I agreed to go with him, fhe bought some things & he kind of felt embarrassed when he was looking for some boxers he didn't want me to see what size he wears, which I found odd but whatever :lol: after that & some more talking we got hungry so we went to burger king (DEAD) we were in the mood for some junk food, it got late so we headed to my place because it was near, there we made out a little :oh: we went to bed like at 3 am in separate rooms of course & he left early because he had to work. All in all I think the date was a succes the only "bad" thing for me is that he is kind of childish like not in an annoying way but more like the age difference between us really shows or maybe I'm just used to the very adult like date with older guys who like to go to fancy restaurants or bars for a date IDK, it was really refreshing to meet someone who is more like my age though, anyway we are going to see each other on sunday so I'm looking forward to that. :)

How old are you?

I don't think Burger King = only for young people, but yes it's much better to go to a fancy restaurant :oh: thing is that it might look a bit too formal, not really relaxed so maybe it's better for you to feel relaxed with a guy?

Novichok
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:20 PM
How old are you?

I don't think Burger King = only for young people, but yes it's much better to go to a fancy restaurant :oh: thing is that it might look a bit too formal, not really relaxed so maybe it's better for you to feel relaxed with a guy?

Debra, have you dated any women yet?

Nicolás89
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:20 PM
yay! positiveness and I totally get you on the childish thing. It's why i just cant date people around my age, they are all fucking children to me.
I think I just grew up too quick. :lol:

How old are you?

I don't think Burger King = only for young people, but yes it's much better to go to a fancy restaurant :oh: thing is that it might look a bit too formal, not really relaxed so maybe it's better for you to feel relaxed with a guy?

I'm 22. Pretty much all my dates / bfs have been older than me so I'm used to be more formal, it was really a nice change to date a guy who is 2 years younger than me though (which doesn't seem much but it is for my standards :lol:)

debby
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:23 PM
Debra, have you dated any women yet?

No. :lol:

I'm 22. Pretty much all my dates / bfs have been older than me so I'm used to be more formal, it was really a nice change to date a guy who is 2 years younger than me (which doesn't seem much but it is for my standards :lol:)

Well, for some people, 2 years are nothing but for some others, it's really noticeable :tape: depends of people really.

Did you go "crazy" with a dude or your bf like "we are young only once" ???

Novichok
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:26 PM
I think I just grew up too quick. :lol:



I'm 22. Pretty much all my dates / bfs have been older than me so I'm used to be more formal, it was really a nice change to date a guy who is 2 years younger than me though (which doesn't seem much but it is for my standards :lol:)

I like having dates with older men because they pay for everything. :tape:

Nicolás89
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:30 PM
Well, for some people, 2 years are nothing but for some others, it's really noticeable :tape: depends of people really.

Did you go "crazy" with a dude or your bf like "we are young only once" ???

To me it is a huge deal, I've had just 1 bf who has been younger than me & only for months (so I take back my previous statement)

On the last part I'm not sure I understand what you mean.

I like having dates with older men because they pay for everything. :tape:

Hahahaha :oh:

debby
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:33 PM
To me it is a huge deal, I've had just 1 bf who has been younger than me & only for months (so I take back my previous statement)

On the last part I'm not sure I understand what you mean.



Hahahaha :oh:

Oooh
You know, going wild because you are dating a young dude, like a non serious and meaningless relationship?
But nevermind :lol:

Have you guys already dated a girl?

Novichok
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:34 PM
Have you guys already dated a girl?

No. :lol:

Nicolás89
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:37 PM
Oooh
You know, going wild because you are dating a young dude, like a non serious and meaningless relationship?
But nevermind :lol:

IDK if this heading towards the road of a relationship yet. :lol:
Anyhow I'm such a serious person in general that I don't take anything lightly so I will probably try to make something work with Fabian.

Have you guys already dated a girl?

Yep. :oh:

debby
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:38 PM
IDK if this heading towards the road of a relationship yet. :lol:
Anyhow I'm such a serious person in general that I don't take anything lightly so I will probably try to make something work with Fabian.



Yep. :oh:

So I guess one night stands are out of the question :p

Ohhh and how did it go? :eek:

Novichok
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:38 PM
Yep. :oh:

Anything else you've done with a woman? :oh:

LeRoy.
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:39 PM
sharing a double-sided dildo is considered dating a girl ?

Nicolás89
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:41 PM
So I guess one night stands are out of the question :p

Not entirely. I don't want to sound like the typical guy but men do have needs. :lol:

Ohhh and how did it go? :eek:

Well I've had gfs in the past when I was delluding myself that no one would ever label me as gay/bi/straight. Weird times.

Nicolás89
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:44 PM
Anything else you've done with a woman? :oh:

I thought it was already implied with this smiley :oh: that the answer is yes. :lol:

sharing a double-sided dildo is considered dating a girl ?

Uggh gurl you're so annoying. Last time you get a reply from me. Bye.

LeRoy.
Jul 14th, 2012, 11:48 PM
http://gifsoup.com/view/69117/wig-snatch-o.gif

VeeJJ
Jul 15th, 2012, 03:37 PM
I like having dates with older men because they pay for everything. :tape:

Lol gurl! Diggin on that gold.

I wouldnt mind dating someone younger as long as they were mature and responsible. For me it's a maturity thing vs. an age thing. But so far only the older guys exhibit those qualities.

Nicolás89
Jul 16th, 2012, 04:28 AM
Lol gurl! Diggin on that gold.

I wouldnt mind dating someone younger as long as they were mature and responsible. For me it's a maturity thing vs. an age thing. But so far only the older guys exhibit those qualities.

Yep.

longtin23
Jul 16th, 2012, 07:25 AM
This thread is amazing, so subscribed :D

At first I think you guys are straight :spit: :lol: Well, afterall...
I see so many difference between Asian and Western especially in gay relationship. Also, you guys have so many experience :lol: and are much older than me :lol: (Nope, just 4 years :lol:)

Novichok
Jul 16th, 2012, 12:38 PM
This thread is amazing, so subscribed :D

At first I think you guys are straight :spit: :lol: Well, afterall...
I see so many difference between Asian and Western especially in gay relationship. Also, you guys have so many experience :lol: and are much older than me :lol: (Nope, just 4 years :lol:)

:spit:

Nicolás89
Jul 16th, 2012, 05:52 PM
This thread is amazing, so subscribed :D

At first I think you guys are straight :spit: :lol: Well, afterall...
I see so many difference between Asian and Western especially in gay relationship. Also, you guys have so many experience :lol: and are much older than me :lol: (Nope, just 4 years :lol:)

Oh the unintentional shade. :sobbing:

moby
Jul 17th, 2012, 06:12 AM
This thread is amazing, so subscribed :D

At first I think you guys are straight :spit: :lol: Well, afterall...
I see so many difference between Asian and Western especially in gay relationship. Also, you guys have so many experience :lol: and are much older than me :lol: (Nope, just 4 years :lol:)What do you think the difference is?

longtin23
Jul 17th, 2012, 10:27 AM
Oh the unintentional shade. :sobbing:

I didn't :lol: But I am just a rookie in handling relationship, 17, and not having any relationship or tried before :lol: I mean 21 is still very young. 30 also :oh:

What do you think the difference is?

Well, I didnt look to all words in all posts, but to me, it's just make me feel peoples' behaviour and thoughts are much are open in Western place than in Asian. (Or maybe just difference of 19>17, but I don't think it is)

First, no one will dare say I am gay or at least proud of being gay in here. I mean publicly, I swear in all those forums in Hong Kong, you will not find any gay dating thread in the romantic department, you might find a thread, but people inside will not share their experience (or they lack :oh:) Many gay people will also choose to hide their sex orientation online. It is mainly because the society here is not really that accpetable towards gay people here. They may say that I think it's alright, but still show some discrimination in acts, especially in workplace or at school (for me).

Secondly, it's the gay people here is so different. We also meet gay (we called us member :oh:) online through forums or some through dating websites. We can get each's MSN or instat messaging thing, but not phone. It is said or described that we should not trust or give phone number to each other easily. During that chat, gay people here show no patience, I mean they are like those hungry wolves that have not eaten anything for the whole life. They would ask for photos, phone number and even ask you be his boyfriend in the first or second chat within days, and they would like to meet in person as soon as possible. And a lot of them want only sex. :help: I cannot take the relationship so fast, and I cannot quite deal with the mode, so I would rather stay slow or chat and becomde friend first. Also, the activities in a date is quite difference. Instead of picking you up at your home, we would just meet in a whatever mall, just walk, watch a boring movie, have a meal than bye bye. No kiss, no imitate action in public. But in my thoughts, you guys would like to drive to some beatiful place :oh:, or go to a proper restaurant, than accompany your partner back home. BTW, it's just not date, but many parents wont allow their childern to go out till late night, especially in weekdays cause we have so much homework to do :help: and attend so many different activities. It like no freedom, and my parents would like to know who am I going out with... :o

Anyway, do you guys meet gay friends online, or use other ways!? Maybe it;s an other difference.
I have some unforgettable experience though, but just small things, maybe share later on :lol:

Singleniacki
Jul 17th, 2012, 11:41 AM
Eugh i had my first date the other day, rant to come.

moby
Jul 17th, 2012, 12:07 PM
Well, I didnt look to all words in all posts, but to me, it's just make me feel peoples' behaviour and thoughts are much are open in Western place than in Asian.Your post was very long and informative, so I feel obliged to write a similarly long one in response. :) Well, first of all, I'm from Singapore, although I have mostly been in the US for the last 5 years, and had virtually all my experiences, sexual or romantic, there too. (Which is not to say anything about the gay scene in Singapore; I must make it clear that it's just me.) I must also remark that I know nothing about lesbians, so everything I say applies only to gay men.

I think you romanticise things in the West a little bit. Things like PDAs would only happen in big cities like NYC or SF, and even then mostly in the gayborhoods. It's true that people can in general afford to be more open there, perhaps they are further along in their evolution in thinking of sustainable gay relationships, but the "turnover rate" in the US seems to be very high, people are interested in short terms relationships and tricking (having casual sex) too. I mean that's kind of the point of Grindr, which was founded in the US. My understanding is that gay men in Singapore are more likely to be in LTRs in their mid-20s (my age), than around here.

The specifics of what you are talking about, dating and relationships as a teenager, I know nothing about at all. At 17, I was nowhere near comfortable with my sexuality at all; it wasn't until 22 that I did anything physical with a guy, or 24 that I got in a relationship. So you're already way ahead of the curve. Do 17 year olds of any sexual orientation go to proper restaurants on a date anyway? :p At that age, it's probably not the norm to get driven around? Or picked up at one's house?

I have mostly met gay people online. In college there are LGBT gatherings, so that's another way to meet people. Asian universities probably don't have those.

debby
Jul 17th, 2012, 12:10 PM
Eugh i had my first date the other day, rant to come.

:hug: What happened ? :(

OMG Moby !!! :hi5: finally a thread in which we will be able to talk a bit :oh: I miss Apoleb btw :sad:

I need to meet new people, I am incredibly unlucky when it comes to guys. :rolls:

moby
Jul 17th, 2012, 12:11 PM
:hug: What happened ? :(

OMG Moby !!! :hi5: finally a thread in which we will be able to talk a bit :oh: I miss Apoleb btw :sad:

I need to meet new people, I am incredibly unlucky when it comes to guys. :rolls:Hi debby! Uh, I saw your valiant efforts to promote me in TWAT... unfortunately Sexysova's innate TWATtishness was too much for me to overcome. So sorry to disappoint. :o But I mean, even Serena can lose first round in a slam. :oh:

debby
Jul 17th, 2012, 12:17 PM
Hi debby! Uh, I saw your valiant efforts to promote me in TWAT... unfortunately Sexysova's innate TWATtishness was too much for me to overcome. So sorry to disappoint. :o But I mean, even Serena can lose first round in a slam. :oh:

Justine liked that match :oh:

So you are actually mid-20s ? :speakles: I don't know why but I thought you were a bit older like 32ish.

Yoncé
Jul 17th, 2012, 12:18 PM
I think I just got asked out by a guy but I'm not sure if its a date or not :lol:

debby
Jul 17th, 2012, 12:22 PM
I think I just got asked out by a guy but I'm not sure if its a date or not :lol:

What did he say?

Yoncé
Jul 17th, 2012, 12:30 PM
What did he say?

Well we've only chatted on tumblr and skype and he is the only person that I would consider myself to be open about myself with and tonight when we were chatting he just said like "We need to meet up sometime soon" and now he's really pressing the issue and keeps asking what I want to do and where do I want to go etc. It seems like more than just two friends catching up but I don't know, I'm still too naive :lol:

debby
Jul 17th, 2012, 12:39 PM
Well we've only chatted on tumblr and skype and he is the only person that I would consider myself to be open about myself with and tonight when we were chatting he just said like "We need to meet up sometime soon" and now he's really pressing the issue and keeps asking what I want to do and where do I want to go etc. It seems like more than just two friends catching up but I don't know, I'm still too naive :lol:

So he knows you are gay right? :lol:

Well I think it's a date indeed.....

Steven.
Jul 17th, 2012, 12:44 PM
:lol: tumblr. everyone meeting each other through there these days.

moby
Jul 17th, 2012, 01:03 PM
Justine liked that match :oh:

So you are actually mid-20s ? :speakles: I don't know why but I thought you were a bit older like 32ish.OMG I hope I will have more of a life at 32. :tape:

Do I act like a 32-year old?

longtin23
Jul 17th, 2012, 02:08 PM
Well we've only chatted on tumblr and skype and he is the only person that I would consider myself to be open about myself with and tonight when we were chatting he just said like "We need to meet up sometime soon" and now he's really pressing the issue and keeps asking what I want to do and where do I want to go etc. It seems like more than just two friends catching up but I don't know, I'm still too naive :lol:

:oh: I know what that feels... If you really want to go for it, you must have been loved him (at least his appearance, should be hot :oh:) and so yes, it's a date...It just would be.

Umberella
Jul 17th, 2012, 02:34 PM
So I'm still on a break with my bf, but I think I'm planning to make it an official break up though. Meanwhile, I've got another date with one guy on Friday that I'm pretty excited about. And I've also been chatting to this other guy from grindr heaps - he is really cute and heaps sweet and I may have a mini crush on him. Too. Many. Damn. Boys.

Steven.
Jul 17th, 2012, 02:47 PM
Slut! No offence though but I'm kind of glad that you're breaking up with him officially just for his sake. You should make up your mind between the two boys though. The guy you're meeting on Friday is pretty cute if you want my opinion. :oh:

Umberella
Jul 17th, 2012, 02:49 PM
Haha thanks :P I know he is, but I'm worried because I know he tends to get very attached very quickly. Hopefully he doesn't think too much of it because I'm not really ready to get into another relationship or anything just yet. The other guy is cuter though! I'll fb you ;)

Steven.
Jul 17th, 2012, 02:51 PM
Yeah he does come off as really sweet. Nice guys finish last lol. Okay I'll come back on.

longtin23
Jul 17th, 2012, 02:55 PM
I remeber I said a NO to a male to refuse starting the relationship, and I cried for the whole night, he cried also. :o

Nicolás89
Jul 17th, 2012, 07:49 PM
Do 17 year olds of any sexual orientation go to proper restaurants on a date anyway? :p At that age, it's probably not the norm to get driven around? Or picked up at one's house?

Hi. :wavey: :lol:

VeeJJ
Jul 17th, 2012, 11:43 PM
Your post was very long and informative, so I feel obliged to write a similarly long one in response. :) Well, first of all, I'm from Singapore, although I have mostly been in the US for the last 5 years, and had virtually all my experiences, sexual or romantic, there too. (Which is not to say anything about the gay scene in Singapore; I must make it clear that it's just me.) I must also remark that I know nothing about lesbians, so everything I say applies only to gay men.

I think you romanticise things in the West a little bit. Things like PDAs would only happen in big cities like NYC or SF, and even then mostly in the gayborhoods. It's true that people can in general afford to be more open there, perhaps they are further along in their evolution in thinking of sustainable gay relationships, but the "turnover rate" in the US seems to be very high, people are interested in short terms relationships and tricking (having casual sex) too. I mean that's kind of the point of Grindr, which was founded in the US. My understanding is that gay men in Singapore are more likely to be in LTRs in their mid-20s (my age), than around here.

The specifics of what you are talking about, dating and relationships as a teenager, I know nothing about at all. At 17, I was nowhere near comfortable with my sexuality at all; it wasn't until 22 that I did anything physical with a guy, or 24 that I got in a relationship. So you're already way ahead of the curve. Do 17 year olds of any sexual orientation go to proper restaurants on a date anyway? :p At that age, it's probably not the norm to get driven around? Or picked up at one's house?

I have mostly met gay people online. In college there are LGBT gatherings, so that's another way to meet people. Asian universities probably don't have those.

So basically american gays are all sluts and tricks :lol: Its funny cause it's mostly true.

Well we've only chatted on tumblr and skype and he is the only person that I would consider myself to be open about myself with and tonight when we were chatting he just said like "We need to meet up sometime soon" and now he's really pressing the issue and keeps asking what I want to do and where do I want to go etc. It seems like more than just two friends catching up but I don't know, I'm still too naive :lol:

Gurl, he wants that boipussy

Inger67
Jul 18th, 2012, 12:07 AM
boipussy :tape: :eek:

Sammo
Jul 20th, 2012, 12:47 PM
So there's this girl I like a lot who goes to the same English academy as I go (and to the same driving school now too), we've known each other for a couple of years but never really went further than 'hi' or 'bye', she looks like a mix between Karolina Kurkova and Izabel Goulart, she's got a beautiful face and her body is amazing, and she's about 5'10''/1.78 m, and her manners are very delicate, between Spanish girls you find this kind in 1 out of 1000. I'm not saying that Spanish girls ain't attractive but... they're so outgoing that it's annoying. Anyway, the fact is that apart from the driving school and the english academy I don't see her, I know her brother from the academy too but that's it, I don't know any of her friends. Next year we start college, so I guess praying for her to stay here is my best option now :sobbing:

moby
Jul 20th, 2012, 01:05 PM
Hi. :wavey: :lol:

Hey gurllll!!!111 :wavey:


So basically american gays are all sluts and tricks :lol: Its funny cause it's mostly true.
Well, not everyone. You can avoid being slut or trick by getting into open relationships, or "playing together".

VeeJJ
Jul 20th, 2012, 09:54 PM
Hey gurllll!!!111 :wavey:



Well, not everyone. You can avoid being slut or trick by getting into open relationships, or "playing together".
Ew. That just mkes you a douche as well because you go an be a slut, and then go home to your "bf." Thrashy. This is not an all you can eat buffet.

VeeJJ
Jul 20th, 2012, 09:55 PM
So there's this girl I like a lot who goes to the same English academy as I go (and to the same driving school now too), we've known each other for a couple of years but never really went further than 'hi' or 'bye', she looks like a mix between Karolina Kurkova and Izabel Goulart, she's got a beautiful face and her body is amazing, and she's about 5'10''/1.78 m, and her manners are very delicate, between Spanish girls you find this kind in 1 out of 1000. I'm not saying that Spanish girls ain't attractive but... they're so outgoing that it's annoying. Anyway, the fact is that apart from the driving school and the english academy I don't see her, I know her brother from the academy too but that's it, I don't know any of her friends. Next year we start college, so I guess praying for her to stay here is my best option now :sobbing:
Creep on her and find out some things she likes and find somehting that you two can possibly talk about. You need to start some kind of conversation with her.

Nicolás89
Jul 20th, 2012, 11:36 PM
Creep on her and find out some things she likes and find somehting that you two can possibly talk about. You need to start some kind of conversation with her.

DEAD bad advice.

Sammo: If you've known each other all these years & she hasn't shown any sign that she might be interested in you then I gotta say it is never going to happen.

Cajka
Jul 21st, 2012, 12:27 AM
DEAD bad advice.

Sammo: If you've known each other all these years & she hasn't shown any sign that she might be interested in you then I gotta say it is never going to happen.

How do you know that? For example, I would never let the guy know I like him if I'm not 100% sure that he's crazy about me.

Nicolás89
Jul 21st, 2012, 12:56 AM
How do you know that? For example, I would never let the guy know I like him if I'm not 100% sure that he's crazy about me.

Lol Well, normal people don't do that. :oh:

Cajka
Jul 21st, 2012, 01:34 AM
Lol Well, normal people don't do that. :oh:

10 years ago when I was 17 like Sammo :bigcry:, girls (at least in Serbia) were mostly behaving like that. I can't tell if it's normal or not, but I was always afraid that the guy would consider me desperate if I start flirting first. :p

Nicolás89
Jul 21st, 2012, 01:41 AM
10 years ago when I was 17 like Sammo :bigcry:, girls (at least in Serbia) were mostly behaving like that. I can't tell if it's normal or not, but I was always afraid that the guy would consider me desperate if I start flirting first. :p

I'm not even talking about flirting, I'm talking about well talking. :lol: Usually you can tell if girls are attracted to you, if they look your way, stared at you or whatever, there's nothing there. Of course Sammo could still hit on her & try his chances.

Cajka
Jul 21st, 2012, 01:48 AM
I'm not even talking about flirting, I'm talking about well talking. :lol: Usually you can tell if girls are attracted to you, if they look your way, stared at you or whatever, there's nothing there. Of course Sammo could still hit on her & try his chances.

But he's never even tried to talk to her.

Nicolás89
Jul 21st, 2012, 02:14 AM
But he's never even tried to talk to her.

They have.

moby
Jul 21st, 2012, 02:20 AM
Ew. That just mkes you a douche as well because you go an be a slut, and then go home to your "bf." Thrashy. This is not an all you can eat buffet.So many people do that, or end up doing that.

delicatecutter
Jul 21st, 2012, 02:22 AM
I'm hanging out with a guy tomorrow. :oh:

debby
Jul 21st, 2012, 03:09 PM
Ew. That just mkes you a douche as well because you go an be a slut, and then go home to your "bf." Thrashy. This is not an all you can eat buffet.

That's harsh.
If they both agree on that, then what's wrong? :shrug: Many couples end up cheating on their partner so.... at least, if there's excellent communication, then go for it ! I don't like to judge people on the way they handle their relationship tbh.

How do you know that? For example, I would never let the guy know I like him if I'm not 100% sure that he's crazy about me.

+1

10 years ago when I was 17 like Sammo :bigcry:, girls (at least in Serbia) were mostly behaving like that. I can't tell if it's normal or not, but I was always afraid that the guy would consider me desperate if I start flirting first. :p

You are so old ! :eek: :p :oh: I am just teasing you. :hug:
Well I feel the same thing. Actually I was not afraid of that before, but I have been hurt too many times so yeah I am done. :lol: Also tbh, there are cute guys at my uni (I have been attending uni for two years) but I never bothered to talk to them (uni is pretty big, we are not in the same class). Yet if they come to talk to me, I wouldn't mind it. :angel:

But it's quite weird to creep on her and to find some stuff she might like, he should just go to talk to her first. We will see later about what happens after :lol:

longtin23
Jul 21st, 2012, 03:13 PM
I'm hanging out with a guy tomorrow. :oh:

Good luck :oh:
What will you do!?

Cajka
Jul 21st, 2012, 04:12 PM
You are so old ! :eek: :p :oh:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XTZJt1kcx4o/T4HXse3N4ZI/AAAAAAAABi8/0CQkG_kmEow/s1600/granny-bird-45330958697.jpeg



But it's quite weird to creep on her and to find some stuff she might like, he should just go to talk to her first. We will see later about what happens after :lol:

Nothing, probably. He'll continue worshiping her from afar.

delicatecutter
Jul 22nd, 2012, 04:25 PM
Good luck :oh:
What will you do!?

:oh:

Sammo
Jul 22nd, 2012, 09:43 PM
DEAD bad advice.

Sammo: If you've known each other all these years & she hasn't shown any sign that she might be interested in you then I gotta say it is never going to happen.

Actually I wasn't really attracted to her until a couple of weeks ago :lol: You know she was always good-looking, but... I don't know :shrug: But then while doing tests in the driving school everybody left but the 2 of us, and well, she was sitting in front of me, and all I did for 40 minutes was staring at her back and listen to her sexy breath, so yeah, I understood I was attracted to her then :lol: From then on I've been stalking her facebook looking at her statuesque figure :sad:

VeeJJ
Jul 22nd, 2012, 10:01 PM
Actually I wasn't really attracted to her until a couple of weeks ago :lol: You know she was always good-looking, but... I don't know :shrug: But then while doing tests in the driving school everybody left but the 2 of us, and well, she was sitting in front of me, and all I did for 40 minutes was staring at her back and listen to her sexy breath, so yeah, I understood I was attracted to her then :lol: From then on I've been stalking her facebook looking at her statuesque figure :sad:

*SLAIN*

Sammo is gonna date rape this bitch. We must warn her!!!! :hysteric:

debby
Jul 22nd, 2012, 10:02 PM
Actually I wasn't really attracted to her until a couple of weeks ago :lol: You know she was always good-looking, but... I don't know :shrug: But then while doing tests in the driving school everybody left but the 2 of us, and well, she was sitting in front of me, and all I did for 40 minutes was staring at her back and listen to her sexy breath, so yeah, I understood I was attracted to her then :lol: From then on I've been stalking her facebook looking at her statuesque figure :sad:

When is the next time you'll see her? just go talk to her. :smash:
Start with some small talk like "Oh these tests are annoying, but soon we will be done. I kinda struggle about that, what about you?" then later you should be like "it's been awhile we see each other, and we never even talked, what's your name? I am Sammo (what's your real name? :p) blabla" and if she looks receptive like she is smiling, quite chatting, well it's a good sign :yeah:

VeeJJ
Jul 22nd, 2012, 10:02 PM
I have a date in 2 hours, I'm excited. I curious to see if this guy can pull out the stops. We've know each other for a bit.

debby
Jul 22nd, 2012, 10:02 PM
*SLAIN*

Sammo is gonna date rape this bitch. We must warn her!!!! :hysteric:

You are so mean :hysteric:

Sammo
Jul 22nd, 2012, 10:04 PM
*SLAIN*

Sammo is gonna date rape this bitch. We must warn her!!!! :hysteric:

:haha::lol::spit::rolls:

I'm laughing my ass off right now :hysteric:

Sean.
Jul 22nd, 2012, 10:12 PM
I have a date in 2 hours, I'm excited. I curious to see if this guy can pull out the stops. We've know each other for a bit.

Apologies, I've not read the thread. Are the original two guys you mentioned in the OP still on the cards?

VeeJJ
Jul 22nd, 2012, 10:36 PM
Apologies, I've not read the thread, are the original two guys you mentioned in the OP still on the cards?

James is out. Justin is almost out.

Gong out with this guy Rich right in a bit, we've know each other for a bit but now trying out a date. He just said that we were gonna go to some trendy bars in his area. Which is cool for a date I guess. Not as traditional as I like. I texted back and asked if dinner was included :lol: I feel somewhat dumb.

Sean.
Jul 22nd, 2012, 10:44 PM
For a first date, a drink in a bar > a meal in a restaurant.

You're not middle-aged! ;)

VeeJJ
Jul 22nd, 2012, 10:45 PM
a first date that includes a bar sounds like sexual intentions to me.

Sean.
Jul 22nd, 2012, 10:49 PM
Not really, a meal can be really awkward, and it far more complicated. At least in a bar it's a relaxed environment, and there is always alcohol to get the conversation following.

Horses for courses I guess. ;)

VeeJJ
Jul 22nd, 2012, 10:52 PM
Well the thing is he wants to go together. wants me to drive to his place and go together. i don't like not having an escape option

Nicolás89
Jul 22nd, 2012, 10:54 PM
For a first date, a drink in a bar > a meal in a restaurant.

You're not middle-aged! ;)

I disagree. It is all about what the 2 enjoy & feel more confortable with IMO. I think lunch is nice for a first date.

debby
Jul 22nd, 2012, 11:03 PM
a first date that includes a bar sounds like sexual intentions to me.

A meal as well :lol:

VeeJJ
Jul 22nd, 2012, 11:07 PM
bahaha so i have to tell ya'll what just happened:

I'm about to start getting ready and he text me back saying that we will be eating and i apologized for asking because i didn't know if it was like a restaurant bar or something. he replies back "i intended to feed u" :hysteric:

Sean.
Jul 22nd, 2012, 11:09 PM
Still not convinced you're going to be ordering from the menu, if you catch my drift! :p

VeeJJ
Jul 22nd, 2012, 11:11 PM
Thats the only menu I intend to order from. :lol:

Nicolás89
Jul 22nd, 2012, 11:18 PM
bahaha so i have to tell ya'll what just happened:

I'm about to start getting ready and he text me back saying that we will be eating and i apologized for asking because i didn't know if it was like a restaurant bar or something. he replies back "i intended to feed u" :hysteric:

Unfortunate choice of words. :tears:

VeeJJ
Jul 23rd, 2012, 01:42 AM
So this date is going pretty well. Great meal with wine and good conversation. The only thing is that I don't necessarily believe he's as young as he says he is but he's not old. I gotta feel him out a bit more. Full recap to ce
Later. We are headed to a different bar now.

delicatecutter
Jul 23rd, 2012, 01:52 AM
The guy I hung out with reminds me so much of Colton from Survivor it's kind of funny. He constantly plays with his hair and it's so cute. :awww:

shap_half
Jul 23rd, 2012, 02:37 AM
So this date is going pretty well. Great meal with wine and good conversation. The only thing is that I don't necessarily believe he's as young as he says he is but he's not old. I gotta feel him out a bit more. Full recap to ce
Later. We are headed to a different bar now.

I can't believe you updated TF while you're out on your date.

shap_half
Jul 23rd, 2012, 02:39 AM
Still not convinced you're going to be ordering from the menu, if you catch my drift! :p

:haha:

If someone sent me that text prior a date, I'd probably sleep with him. That's where it's all heading anyway. I reckon I won't date you if I can't seem myself sleeping with you.

Pump-it-UP
Jul 23rd, 2012, 02:47 AM
I can't believe you updated TF while you're out on your date.

!!!!! :sobbing:

VeeJJ
Jul 24th, 2012, 03:35 AM
I had the time don't judge and it turned out to be a meh date.

Cajka
Jul 24th, 2012, 03:48 AM
I had the time don't judge and it turned out to be a meh date.

I'm sorry, I couldn't read all the posts, in the beginning there were 2 guys and now there's someone else?

VeeJJ
Jul 24th, 2012, 03:55 AM
yeah it changes daily. currently there is no one :lol:

Cajka
Jul 24th, 2012, 03:59 AM
yeah it changes daily. currently there is no one :lol:

Lol. It's a good thing, being single and having options is however better than desperately trying to be in a relationship at any cost.

VeeJJ
Jul 24th, 2012, 05:35 AM
If i was desperate I would be in one. But I'm waiting for a guy who I feels make the cut, none have so far.

Steven.
Jul 24th, 2012, 05:42 AM
"makes the cut" jeez you make it sound like an audition or something

Umberella
Jul 25th, 2012, 01:13 AM
So whats a good way to gauge whether you actually like someone or if theyre just a rebound? I broke up with my bf fully, then the next night I ended up staying over at another guys place and I think I might like him but I'm not sure. :/

Number19
Jul 25th, 2012, 02:25 PM
Sounds like a rebound.

Unless your feelings for him were already present and the reason for the breakup w/bf.

Yoncé
Jul 26th, 2012, 01:06 PM
Well we've only chatted on tumblr and skype and he is the only person that I would consider myself to be open about myself with and tonight when we were chatting he just said like "We need to meet up sometime soon" and now he's really pressing the issue and keeps asking what I want to do and where do I want to go etc. It seems like more than just two friends catching up but I don't know, I'm still too naive :lol:

This is tomorrow and I'm so weirdly nervous :unsure: because I have no idea what I want :lol: but he knows what he wants :oh:

Nicolás89
Aug 15th, 2012, 01:39 AM
Soooooooooooooooooooooo, what's up!?

Umberella
Aug 15th, 2012, 10:51 AM
In the last month I have...

Broken up with my ex
Started seeing one guy
Started seeing a second guy
Became boyfriends with one guy
Broke up with that one guy
Currently still seeing two guys

Oh, and did I mention how I bumped into my ex while I was on a date? While he was also on a date at the exact same place? This dating thing can get awkward haha but its good fun! :)

debby
Aug 15th, 2012, 11:21 AM
This is tomorrow and I'm so weirdly nervous :unsure: because I have no idea what I want :lol: but he knows what he wants :oh:

Soooooooooooooooooooo ?

Still nothing on my side which is normal, most of my friends are from the uni not my hometown, so I don't go out a lot as it's summer time and I am home so they are.

longtin23
Aug 15th, 2012, 12:59 PM
I am only having dreams :lol:

Yoncé
Aug 16th, 2012, 08:02 AM
Soooooooooooooooooooo ?

Still nothing on my side which is normal, most of my friends are from the uni not my hometown, so I don't go out a lot as it's summer time and I am home so they are.

It was really good! It was awkward at first but then when we both got rid of the nerves it was all fine. I feel like such a slut though :lol: we hooked up in the back of the cinema :sobbing: which was weird for me as its the first time I had ever done anything with a guy, like ANYTHING. and now we are going out together again.

delicatecutter
Aug 16th, 2012, 01:12 PM
I recently started seeing someone and it's been great so far! :cheer:

The first time we hung out he picked me up and we drove around the city for like two hours in his convertible. :hearts: It was a pretty cool way to meet someone and get to know them. Since then we've hung out a couple more times and we really like each other. And this guy is so nice and sweet and direct and a total catch. (Don't know what he sees in me. :tape:)

Elwin.
Nov 17th, 2012, 01:27 PM
This thread is really helpful :hysteric:
Having a date this evening, and i'm totally clueless

Steven.
Nov 17th, 2012, 01:43 PM
dating is for peasants

but good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :p

Rerun
Nov 17th, 2012, 03:43 PM
I have been on a date once in my life...and hes still my bf :lol:

Yoncé
Nov 18th, 2012, 09:52 AM
I've come to conclusion guys my age are stupid and useless therefore I am turning straight until they all become half decent.

debby
Nov 18th, 2012, 02:19 PM
I've come to conclusion guys my age are stupid and useless therefore I am turning straight until they all become half decent.

I am sorry :hug:

Let's date ? :oh:

No you are underage :sad: :lol:

*Jean*
Nov 18th, 2012, 02:26 PM
I've come to conclusion guys my age are stupid and useless therefore I am turning straight until they all become half decent.

how old are you? I've been thinking like you since I've been dating guys. :lol:

Yoncé
Nov 18th, 2012, 07:34 PM
I am sorry :hug:

Let's date ? :oh:

No you are underage :sad: :lol:

:hearts: one more year!!

how old are you? I've been thinking like you since I've been dating guys. :lol:

17 :lol:

*Jean*
Nov 18th, 2012, 08:02 PM
ooh you have plenty of time, then!

Cajka
Nov 19th, 2012, 12:58 AM
17 :lol:

I remember how it felt. :lol: :hug: But, don't worry, it gets much better later, especially during the college.

Nicolás89
Nov 19th, 2012, 01:00 AM
I've come to conclusion guys my age are stupid and useless therefore I am turning straight until they all become half decent.

All guys are stupid it doesn't matter how old they are, you just need to find the less stupid. :hysteric: