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View Full Version : Would you date someone who is HIV positive?


VeeJJ
Apr 3rd, 2012, 06:54 PM
Best friend just started to. Intrigued me, I wanna say I would, there is a slight mental block but I think I 95% would. It basically all comes down to education.

The Witch-king
Apr 3rd, 2012, 09:05 PM
Yeah I would. I know too many people that have died of AIDS and that are HIV+ to be discriminating like that.

Novichok
Apr 3rd, 2012, 09:49 PM
I don't think I would.

Sammo
Apr 3rd, 2012, 10:14 PM
I dont consider myself capable of... I mean it would really hurt to get very close to her and not be able to have sex.

Reptilia
Apr 3rd, 2012, 10:17 PM
It would of course depend on the circumstances... but, If I really liked the guy I would.

delicatecutter
Apr 3rd, 2012, 10:18 PM
I have, so yes.

Certinfy
Apr 3rd, 2012, 10:20 PM
Never been in a situation like that, but I don't think I would. Maybe if I dated someone for a while and really liked her and then she told me she was positive it may be different though. :shrug:

Edy.
Apr 3rd, 2012, 10:35 PM
Maybe, I'm not sure. I would really have to like the girl.

Sean.
Apr 3rd, 2012, 10:54 PM
I dont consider myself capable of... I mean it would really hurt to get very close to her and not be able to have sex.

You can still have sex, just use a condom.

Miss Atomic Bomb
Apr 3rd, 2012, 11:00 PM
I can't really say..I believe that when you fall in love with someone you can even overlook things like this.

But as it stands now, I don't think I will be able to. One of main perks for me of being in a relationship is not having to fear while having sex, sometimes even without a condom.

Helen Lawson
Apr 3rd, 2012, 11:01 PM
Sure, but not if they are close to death.

Pops Maellard
Apr 3rd, 2012, 11:09 PM
I voted yes. I don't exactly have the luxury of choice. I'm not the best-looking/outgoing guy. I prefer sex with condom anyway.

Amalgamate
Apr 3rd, 2012, 11:47 PM
I voted yes. I don't exactly have the luxury of choice. I'm not the best-looking/outgoing guy. I prefer sex with condom anyway.

:awww: :hug: It's not all about who is the best-looking/most outgoing :)

Pops Maellard
Apr 4th, 2012, 12:04 AM
:awww: :hug: It's not all about who is the best-looking/most outgoing :)
Well let's be honest, you kind of need one or the other :oh:.

Sammo
Apr 4th, 2012, 12:12 AM
You can still have sex, just use a condom.

Isn't a condom like 90% safe? I mean if you have sex regularly one of those times... :unsure:

Sean.
Apr 4th, 2012, 12:52 AM
Isn't a condom like 90% safe? I mean if you have sex regularly one of those times... :unsure:

I think it's more like 98%.

Depends whether the person is worth the risk or not I guess. :shrug:

Sp!ffy
Apr 4th, 2012, 12:55 AM
Nope.

VeeJJ
Apr 4th, 2012, 03:02 AM
I predicted a lot of these answers. I thought the same and was like um no your not allowed to date him. She took a special topics bio class in HIV in college and she learned a lot. After I read a lot about it it's really not that bad as long as that person takes meds and is healthy. It's actually difficult to get HIV in the first place. Me and her talked about it and it's kinda like status really doesn't matter as long as condoms are used and properly.

rafaelkafka
Apr 4th, 2012, 03:15 AM
You can still have sex, just use a condom.


Condom's can broke. No Way.

rafaelkafka
Apr 4th, 2012, 03:35 AM
You can still have sex, just use a condom.


Condom's can broke. No Way.

Sp!ffy
Apr 4th, 2012, 03:52 AM
I predicted a lot of these answers. I thought the same and was like um no your not allowed to date him. She took a special topics bio class in HIV in college and she learned a lot. After I read a lot about it it's really not that bad as long as that person takes meds and is healthy. It's actually difficult to get HIV in the first place. Me and her talked about it and it's kinda like status really doesn't matter as long as condoms are used and properly.

Good for you. Now you can fearlessly have sex with HIV+ men. :)

VeeJJ
Apr 4th, 2012, 03:55 AM
That's a typical answer from the Spiffster.

Pump-it-UP
Apr 4th, 2012, 03:55 AM
I'm ashamed to say it, but no. :shrug:

Mattographer
Apr 4th, 2012, 04:22 AM
One of my close friends is positive and I wouldn't date him because of that. I have to admit I have thought about it a couple times.

Sp!ffy
Apr 4th, 2012, 05:22 AM
That's a typical answer from the Spiffster.

I don't know what kind of answer you wanted from a post trying to persuade us in believing "HIV isn't THAT bad".

(your words, not mine)

Maddox
Apr 4th, 2012, 05:50 AM
Personally I wouldn't. Yes it depends on how deeply in love I am but still it would be too big a barrier.

I mean it would be hard not to think about being infected while having sex, you wouldn't fully enjoy it, the thought would be lingering constantly in your mind

Moveyourfeet
Apr 4th, 2012, 06:13 AM
Well let's be honest, you kind of need one or the other :oh:.

Or a trust fund.

skanky~skanketta
Apr 4th, 2012, 07:36 AM
Best friend just started to. Intrigued me, I wanna say I would, there is a slight mental block but I think I 95% would. It basically all comes down to education.

Meaning what?

If I could do without sex, I might. Unfortunately, I can't, and the risks that I face if I sleep with someone who is HIV+ is just not worth it IMO.

Serenus Christ
Apr 4th, 2012, 07:50 AM
The risk of getting HIV through sex is very low compared to blood contact which is around 98%.

Valanga
Apr 4th, 2012, 08:34 AM
Hell no.

ranfurly
Apr 4th, 2012, 09:09 AM
No Way. I'm not risking my health and well being because someone was careless.

AliceMariaRenka
Apr 4th, 2012, 09:37 AM
I dont consider myself capable of... I mean it would really hurt to get very close to her and not be able to have sex.

You can use a condom.

There is now also evidence that if someone who is HIV+, who takes their drug therapies properly and has an undetectable viral load (which many people have who are HIV+), does not pass on the virus even with unprotected sex. They can even have a child who is HIV if they are female and if they are male can have a child with a woman who is negative. I'm not promoting unsafe sex, just pointing out recent medical studies - too many people are discriminated against through the ignorance 0f others, even if that ignorance is not meant badly.

You don't choose who you fall in love with and it is up to the 2 people concerned to take the medical advice and decide on their peramaters.

Overall there is no reason why a HIV+ person cannot have a life long fulfilling relationship with someone who is HIV-. Even if they decide to use condoms forever more!

AliceMariaRenka
Apr 4th, 2012, 09:42 AM
Those saying that wouldn't have sex with someone who are HIV+ are being very naive. How do you know? The other person may not know. It is far better to be with someone who cows and you know are HIV+ and who are taking the appropriate therapies properly so you are fully aware!

As for breaking condoms, the medical evidence is that the chances of contracting HIV are incredibly slim, even if you have unprotected sex with someone who is HIV+ and doesn't take therapies.

You can get Syphillis and other STDs from just a kiss. If the person knows they are HIV+ and you now you are much much safer than having sex, even a kiss, with someone you know little or nothing about. And I doubt many sexually active people have full interviews with someone before they do what they do!

AliceMariaRenka
Apr 4th, 2012, 09:43 AM
No Way. I'm not risking my health and well being because someone was careless.

You are placing a judgement on the person. They may not have been careless, simply unlucky. And everyone does things which they may later wish they hadn't. It's then luck of the draw.

ranfurly
Apr 4th, 2012, 10:16 AM
You are placing a judgement on the person. They may not have been careless, simply unlucky. And everyone does things which they may later wish they hadn't. It's then luck of the draw.

eh..I understand, still, Im cautious, whatever research now says, I've got a friend who now has HIV+ because he thought his partner was safe.

Sometimes, asusming these instances is not good enough, especially when it comes to the health of one.

There's plenty of education, resources out there and people should identify with these and just not assume because what stats say, they are going to be bullet proof.

You're right, it's unfortunate that some people contact it in very unlucky ways, people with tats, in hospital or passed down.

Im more or less suggestion instances when it can be possibly be avoided and prevented by taking responsibility. That's not being judgemental, that's taking a common sense approach.

Six Feet Under
Apr 4th, 2012, 10:40 AM
Im usually for equality and fairness and stuff, but HIV really scares me, idk if I could.

Yoncé
Apr 4th, 2012, 11:17 AM
Despite it being very judgemental and ignorant to an extent I really don't think I could.

Juanes
Apr 4th, 2012, 01:52 PM
most likely not if i would know that the person is HIV+

Sean.
Apr 4th, 2012, 02:05 PM
It is far better to be with someone who cows and you know are HIV+ and who are taking the appropriate therapies properly so you are fully aware!

Who what? :confused:

Julian.
Apr 4th, 2012, 02:13 PM
If I find out that my boyfriend is a HIV positive, I actually really dunno what to do :help:

VeeJJ
Apr 4th, 2012, 05:47 PM
If a person is on meds and has an undectable viral load, there is only a 10% chance you can contract it in any way shape or form. After talking with this guy HIV just has really bad hype it seems. Yes no one would ever want it, but the only thing he has to change about his life is that he has to tell people before intercourse. And he doesn't even have too. But he thinks it the right thing for him to do.

He told me that if he were me he wouldn't have sex with anyone without seeing a recent STD test for proof. Someone can say something bu that doesn't make it true, and that yeah I can go ahead and say that I trust them but that doesn't matter either. So many know and don't say anything, and many people don't know and don't change their habits. That really made me think and want to start second guessing who I sleep with. You would think that everyone goes too this length in regards to their health but most people just take a persons word.

Tenis Srbija
Apr 4th, 2012, 07:12 PM
No, never, not a chance. I wanna have a kid.
People be honest, stop with the "Oh, I dunno...maybe, maybe not...bla, bla, bla..."

delicatecutter
Apr 4th, 2012, 07:22 PM
People seriously need to educate themselves on this issue. :o

Whitehead's Boy
Apr 4th, 2012, 08:15 PM
If you're the top and always use a condom, the chance of getting HIV is next to zero, regardless of if your partner is taking meds or not. There are tops who bareback for years without catching it.

Have said that, I wouldn't, and I don't see anything wrong with it. If people are picky when they buy a home for example, why can't they be equally picky when they choose a boyfriend? It's the person you might spend the rest of your life with.

As much as I have compassion with people who are HIV, I'm just not interested to deal with the stress associated with it. It's not just the sex aspect, but every aspect of life. Even the one-pill-a-day treatment like Atripla takes a toll on the body both mentally and physically for a lot of people, and we still are ignorant of long-term effects. Any out of ordinary activity like travelling becomes a source of stress. The bottom line is that this illness is still a major pain in the ass despite the progress of the last 10 years.

esquímaux
Apr 4th, 2012, 08:34 PM
I just want to express my feelings on this topic. I have coworker that is positive and doesn't let it hold 'em back. It feels so unfair that this has happened to a great person. He says that they had unprotected sex because they both were tested and showed up negative. I feel it's unfair, but it's part of the reality of the world we live in. I also think that the stigma associated with the disease is present even today. As for the original question, yes I would date someone who is positive.

edificio
Apr 4th, 2012, 08:37 PM
Hard to say. It would depend on the person.

SwingVolley93
Apr 5th, 2012, 05:37 PM
Fuck. No.

DemWilliamsGulls
Apr 5th, 2012, 06:53 PM
Man its soooooo many people that are positive and do not know it. One of my friends is dating one of my best friends who's positive. I had no idea from lookin at him physically...but he's healthy and has been getting treated for a while. Would I date someone positive...I dont know...intially my mind would say no, but I've been with someone and found out that they were positive, THANK GOD I didn't catch anything and I have continued to dodge bullets....(I dont have risky sex either) So i dont know...just depended on the individual.

VeeJJ
Apr 5th, 2012, 06:57 PM
I'm suprised at the amount of views and no replies. I know there has to be some positive members on this forum shaking their head at some of the responses here. I think it's fine if you say no, but as long as you do it with good knowledge. Saying no without knowing anything other than HIV is an STD is stupid.

Nicolás89
Apr 5th, 2012, 07:45 PM
Probably not. I would get afraid of eventually get too involded emotionally that I wouldn't be able to bear the pain of even the possibility of losing that person, the same goes for me dating a cancer patient.

Novichok
Apr 5th, 2012, 09:21 PM
I'm suprised at the amount of views and no replies. I know there has to be some positive members on this forum shaking their head at some of the responses here. I think it's fine if you say no, but as long as you do it with good knowledge. Saying no without knowing anything other than HIV is an STD is stupid.

I don't really think that's true. Most people have an idea that HIV is one of the worst (if not the worst) STD that you can get. If someone doesn't want to increase their chances of getting it, that doesn't make them stupid (or their decision stupid).

VeeJJ
Apr 6th, 2012, 02:39 AM
I don't really think that's true. Most people have an idea that HIV is one of the worst (if not the worst) STD that you can get. If someone doesn't want to increase their chances of getting it, that doesn't make them stupid (or their decision stupid).
I see what your saying, but my point is how do they know they aren't increasing their chances anyway? Disclosing isn't the law, many people don't even know. Yet most people just take someones word. And the chances don't really change much if you are with a well (undectable virus), repsonsible HIV patient and have protected sex. and even if the condom break or it's unprotected you on' have about a 10% of getting it (and thats if you're a bottom, it's extrememly hard for tops to get it).
I personally just think it's a dramatic mental block. Whenever you hear the word diease you immediately think contagious and run. Sounds immature to me.

skanky~skanketta
Apr 6th, 2012, 03:16 AM
I see what your saying, but my point is how do they know they aren't increasing their chances anyway? Disclosing isn't the law, many people don't even know. Yet most people just take someones word. And the chances don't really change much if you are with a well (undectable virus), repsonsible HIV patient and have protected sex. and even if the condom break or it's unprotected you on' have about a 10% of getting it (and thats if you're a bottom, it's extrememly hard for tops to get it).
I personally just think it's a dramatic mental block. Whenever you hear the word diease you immediately think contagious and run. Sounds immature to me. I'm sorry, but this post is completely ridiculous.

1) Yes, nobody KNOWS for sure that the person they sleep with has a clean bill of health. However, IF they know that the person is HIV positive, it is their prerogative to say no.
2) Chance. What take them? Unless you're already dating the person and sex isn't a big part of the relationship, why take that chance? I mean, you saying that there's ONLY a 10% chance is completely irresponsible IMO. 10%, contrary to popular belief, is not that low of a figure. "Extremely hard" doesn't quite cut it either.
3) Maybe it is indeed a mental block. But wanting to protect oneself is not immature. Nobody said that they are running because it is contagious. That is just you making your own conclusions. Many posters in this thread who have said that they wouldnt date someone who is HIV+ positive have also said that they have HIV+ friends. You dont see them running, do you?

Overall, the effects of HIV even when treated can be quite horrific. If people are concerned about this, I dont think you have any right to judge them about it. What needs to be done is to educate themselves further to see how they can help HIV+ people and to avoid the disease themselves.

Moveyourfeet
Apr 6th, 2012, 04:50 AM
I see what your saying, but my point is how do they know they aren't increasing their chances anyway? Disclosing isn't the law, many people don't even know. Yet most people just take someones word. And the chances don't really change much if you are with a well (undectable virus), repsonsible HIV patient and have protected sex. and even if the condom break or it's unprotected you on' have about a 10% of getting it (and thats if you're a bottom, it's extrememly hard for tops to get it).
I personally just think it's a dramatic mental block. Whenever you hear the word diease you immediately think contagious and run. Sounds immature to me.

So your argument is if one screens sexual partners for HIV based on verbal confirmation, they should be willing to date an HIV+ person, since verbal confirmation is evidentially weak.

It's not a good argument. Sure, in certain communities, you'd do better dating an HIV+ person, than going on verbal confirmation, in terms of probability of contracting HIV.
The problem is that the argument doesn't factor other reasons for not dating an HIV person, other ways people confirm HIV status and situations where the odds of infection with verbal confirmation are still better than the odds with an HIV+ person.

One could decide to not have sex until seeing an HIV test thus reducing the chance of infection.
Additionally, the cost, time and mental energy required to manage the disease is something some people don't want to willingly take on for themselves or their partner.

That being said, it is easy for me to say I wouldn't since I am not in such a situation. It is hard to predict one's actions when the brain is strung out on dopamine.

So Disrespectful
Apr 6th, 2012, 04:52 AM
Yes. I don't like sex anyway.

Tripp
Apr 6th, 2012, 05:27 AM
I'm suprised at the amount of views and no replies. I know there has to be some positive members on this forum shaking their head at some of the responses here. I think it's fine if you say no, but as long as you do it with good knowledge. Saying no without knowing anything other than HIV is an STD is stupid.

I'm HIV+ and to be honest I don't really find anything useful to say about this. Most of this board is filled with teenagers who don't know much about life. And besides, I guess I understand the initial rejection. You can choose who you sleep with.

Just let me tell you all one thing. If you're having sex with an HIV+ individual, you most definitely won't hear it from him/her unless it turns into a really serious relationship, and sometimes not even that will do to disclose a positive status. So just use proper protection and that's it, it's as simple as that. There are A LOT (and I do mean a lot) of people who have HIV and don't know a thing about it.

tennis-insomniac
Apr 6th, 2012, 06:32 AM
If I have a relationship with someone who got it, I would be fine, as long as the person is responsible and can take care after himself.