PDA

View Full Version : what should i do about my "friend"?


laschutz
Mar 3rd, 2012, 02:38 PM
hey everyone! perhaps not the greatest website or forum to discuss this, but i just thought i would throw this out there and you want you all think and what i should do? okay, here it goes...

have a "friend" i "met" on a different forum.. this person and i are a handful of the very few people who post topics, threads, photos, etcetera on this forum.. this person sells "homemade" videos of various things that interest me.. this person does this for extra money and sells these videos throughout the world.. i've been a buyer as well... anyway so we've known of each other for a few years now thru this forum and doing business (this person selling me buying) together....

lately, we've started emailing each other regularly like every other day for a few months now.. we emailed each other before in years past, but only recently had we been emailing each other regularly, telling what's going on in our lives and even personal stuff...

i tend to write long emails ( can you guess! lol!) and love to receive long emails.. this person cannot type and doesn't like to read, hence,... my emails from this person are short and this person tells me NOT to type long emails and also NOT to include photos which i like to send with the emails... a few other "rules" this person has in regards to my emails.. anyway...

a few months ago, this person did me a huge nice gesture... making tons of dvd's and sending them to me for free i might add of various stuff that this person knew i would enjoy.. footage off of websites that this person had to pay to become a member of... literally 15 dvd's or so of stuff! i think they also did this because long ago, i sent this person stuff and perhaps they were just respoding back to send me stuff? anyway,so now with this recent stuff sent to me i thought in gesture i thought i should do something for this person..

so for the past couple of months i've been taping various stuff on tv and elsewhere knowing this person would i think enjoy what i'm taping.. including making copies off of videos and dvd's i already have.. staying up late at night losing sleep doing all this stuff.. telling this person i'm working on sending them something and promising it will be soon...

so now this morning i get a very short couple of sentences email from this person saying "sorry,that their not really into this emailing each other thing and for me to take care and bye...

(does this mean goodbye forever then?)(does this mean were no longer friends?)... so now i'm thinking what should i do with all this stuff i've been taping and making videos for this person? i mean should i still send it to this person because they did that stuff for me a little while ago.. or should i think " well, no, while make this stuff and by the way i was still working on this stuff! and send it to someone who doesn't want to be your friend and doesn't even want to email with you anymore?)

this person i have found out has a few how should i say " problems" suffers from clinical depression among other things... not to mentioned is someways is lucky on my part that I WAS EMAIL FRIENDS WITH THIS PERSON IN THE FIRST PLACE... being that i found out this person said very nasty and mean things about me to another person on this forum/website.. i called this person out on it and they said "that they were wrong, and asked for my forgiveness and they shouldn't have done it and so on" which me being a nice person i DID forgive this person, although in the back of my mind i haven't forgotten it...(perhaps this is the real reason why this person made and send me all those 15 or so dvd's.. they felt guilty for the what they said and wrote about me?!)

okay, sorry to make this message so long.. but anyway what should i do people with this "ahem, "friend"... should i sent this stuff that i was making (and was still working on) to be fair or should i forget this person including sending them this stuff.. i mean if we don't email each other anymore ( this person's request i might add) then we're not friends right?...

*Nefertiti*
Mar 3rd, 2012, 02:45 PM
I will give you an honest answer. Your friend died after reading your long emails.

Helen Lawson
Mar 3rd, 2012, 02:48 PM
Don't send anything and don't email. Keep what you made in case he emails you and you get friendly again.

Helen Lawson
Mar 3rd, 2012, 02:50 PM
I will give you an honest answer. Your friend died after reading your long emails.

A distinct possibility, although maybe he died of boredom after reading another Graf v. Navratilova thread.

The Witch-king
Mar 3rd, 2012, 03:09 PM
Girl, who cares about an internet friend

Dawn Marie
Mar 3rd, 2012, 03:12 PM
What I gather from your thread topic is a few things.

1. You're too emotionally invested in "this person"
2.You're allowing "this person" to consume a lot of your time.

What I would do try to understand that while you were emailing and getting to know this person and liking this person. They on the other hand probably didnt feel the same way about emails. I would keep all the Dvd's you made as you had her or him in mind. If he or she contacts you again then send them. If they don't then just keep them. I would not contact this person again.

Look,your feelings/ego got hurt. You put some thought into something and the person cut you off. We all been there.:-( Just move on and realize that this person is just not that into you. It's not you it's that person. Honestly,you both are prolly decent folk. Just not together as an email/internet friends.

*Nefertiti*
Mar 3rd, 2012, 03:15 PM
A distinct possibility, although maybe he died of boredom after reading another Graf v. Navratilova thread.

You have anger issues. No sense of humor. Lack of creativity. Dull personality. Boring replies. You need help ASAP, You need to release those deep memories hidden in your subconscious.

laschutz
Mar 3rd, 2012, 03:18 PM
thanks for the serious comment helen lawson.. geez, everyone else, this was a serious question, i don't need sarcasm and "honesty"...

interesting, now that i think of it that this person should have waited until AFTER i sent them all this stuff before breaking off our email 'friendship".. not good thinking on their part!

so i guess i shouldnt' even reply with my own short little reply back to this person's email..with a short comment of like "your loss" or "whatever" or a mature " i understand, take care yourself".. etcetera... the question though i would think in this person's mind is "oh wait, what about that stuff this person (meaning me) was going to send me? are they STILL going to send me this stuff?"... perhaps silence on my part would be my answer yes?

laschutz
Mar 3rd, 2012, 03:19 PM
oh and thanks dawn marie for your comments! much appreciated..

Dawn Marie
Mar 3rd, 2012, 03:21 PM
Also your thread is a lil misleading and that is ok as your a lil emotionally involved imho. You're asking what you should do about my friend. YOU REALLY MEAN WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT MY FEELINGS AND HOW SHOULD I REACT?
KEEP THE ITEMS AND IGNORE THE PERSON. IF IT'S A GUY THEY USUALLY COME AROUND. WHEN HE DOES THEN SEND HIM THE ITEMS AND THEN YOU STOP ALL CONTACT. IF HE DOESNT CONTACT U THEN JUST CONTINUE TO MOVE ON. what u should ask yourself is why am i allowing this person to consume my time and energy? When they disrespected me in the past? When they cut me off and stopped email friendship. ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS cause as u get older you dont want to get into any patterns that aregoing to devalue you as a person.

*Nefertiti*
Mar 3rd, 2012, 03:24 PM
so i guess i shouldnt' even reply with my own short little reply back to this person's email

:lol:

As if you can actually write short replies.

*Nefertiti*
Mar 3rd, 2012, 03:29 PM
Okay, now I am seriously going to reply to you. I was just trying to make you giggle a little.

Look, no human is very important, just ignore him. You will forget it after 3 days. At first you will be sad, but with time and once you have put in your mind that he's gone forever, you're going to get used to it, and totally forget him.

If you don't believe me, try it for 3 days. You will be surprised that you forgot about it.

Dawn Marie
Mar 3rd, 2012, 03:38 PM
oh and thanks dawn marie for your comments! much appreciated..
Your welcome:)

Barrie_Dude
Mar 3rd, 2012, 03:45 PM
He may just want a bit of a break. It may just be a rough patch for him at the time and likely has nothing to do with you. Maybe you can send him a SHORT email in a month or so to ask how he is doig and see what reply you do or do not get. Above all, don't take this event personnally as it likely has nothing to do with you

Helen Lawson
Mar 4th, 2012, 12:22 AM
Silence. Let this person make the first move.

Pat Bateman
Mar 4th, 2012, 04:16 AM
Silence. Let this person make the first move.

This. Just let it go. Your so-called friend sounds like a bit of a tool. Personally, I could never be friendly with someone who can't type (write)and can't read properly. (Yes, I am an 'intellectual' snob, flame away).

If he/she wants to get back in touch, they will. If they don't, you will find a friend more worthy of your time and attention.

delicatecutter
Mar 4th, 2012, 04:30 AM
I feel your pain. :sad:

laschutz
Mar 4th, 2012, 02:15 PM
thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions...

and yes, silence on my part i think is the best strategy..

just sucks when i think of all the time spent and late nights over weeks that i had spent making these videotapes for this person and to be cut off like that in a blink of an eye? i'm probably the only friend this person has, in fact,this person had told me i was the only email "friend" they had..

live and learn i guess?!.. hmm, wonder if i'll get a email from this person saying " where is my stuff you were going to send me?!" surely this person wouldn't think i would or needed to send this stuff to them still? i mean really?

oh well.. this person's loss and it's a HUGE LOSS because anyone else who is interested in the same things that me and this person was/are into would have gone NUTS over my stuff...

well, anyway, time will tell won't it... thanks again everyone!

Helen Lawson
Mar 4th, 2012, 02:18 PM
Yes, live and learn, hon. The person probably has problems, they are not yours to fix.

The Witch-king
Mar 4th, 2012, 03:05 PM
Also your thread is a lil misleading and that is ok as your a lil emotionally involved imho. You're asking what you should do about my friend. YOU REALLY MEAN WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT MY FEELINGS AND HOW SHOULD I REACT?
KEEP THE ITEMS AND IGNORE THE PERSON. IF IT'S A GUY THEY USUALLY COME AROUND. WHEN HE DOES THEN SEND HIM THE ITEMS AND THEN YOU STOP ALL CONTACT. IF HE DOESNT CONTACT U THEN JUST CONTINUE TO MOVE ON. what u should ask yourself is why am i allowing this person to consume my time and energy? When they disrespected me in the past? When they cut me off and stopped email friendship. ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS cause as u get older you dont want to get into any patterns that aregoing to devalue you as a person.
GIRL!!!!http://static.tumblr.com/v1asjlx/1KGluqk9v/other_preach_gif.gif

Moral of the story:Fuck an internet friend!!!:mad:

Direwolf
Mar 4th, 2012, 06:15 PM
Time to come out to that "friend" of yours.
But don't expect an instant reply.

Direwolf
Mar 4th, 2012, 06:20 PM
thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions...

and yes, silence on my part i think is the best strategy..

just sucks when i think of all the time spent and late nights over weeks that i had spent making these videotapes for this person and to be cut off like that in a blink of an eye? i'm probably the only friend this person has, in fact,this person had told me i was the only email "friend" they had..

live and learn i guess?!.. hmm, wonder if i'll get a email from this person saying " where is my stuff you were going to send me?!" surely this person wouldn't think i would or needed to send this stuff to them still? i mean really?

oh well.. this person's loss and it's a HUGE LOSS because anyone else who is interested in the same things that me and this person was/are into would have gone NUTS over my stuff...

well, anyway, time will tell won't it... thanks again everyone!


Nope I don't think these are the stuffs where you could "Live and Learn". This person obviously made you happy. You obviously made that person happy being their only "email" buddy.
These are the moments where you 'Live and ENJOY".
Don't be hasty. Keep them as your friend. They would enjoy your "hellos" at least 3x a year.
;)

Dawn Marie
Mar 6th, 2012, 12:07 AM
GIRL!!!!http://static.tumblr.com/v1asjlx/1KGluqk9v/other_preach_gif.gif

Moral of the story:Fuck an internet friend!!!:mad:
EXACTLY!! :devil: