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Szavay #1
Feb 8th, 2012, 05:55 PM
for you guys who have gone thru some divorce in your life (your parents or somebody else in your family), how did you deal with it? we're going thru it right now (it's the very first divorce in our family) and it's been so tough. everyone incl me is an emotional mess. thx for your comments.

delicatecutter
Feb 8th, 2012, 06:04 PM
I'm having a hard time dealing with Heidi and Seal's divorce.

spiceboy
Feb 8th, 2012, 06:25 PM
Sorry to hear, but I guess it's for the best.

Calvin M.
Feb 10th, 2012, 03:28 PM
Sorry to hear, but I guess it's for the best.

I know it's tough for you and your family at the moment but in many cases, the above is true! I was married for 7 years and as difficult as it was to tell my ex-wife that I wanted out, it was a blessing in disguise for both of us AND we're still very close today. No one wins if you stay in an unhappy marriage. My divorce may have (unconsciously) scared me away from tying the knot because I've been with my lady for almost 16 years and we're completely fine without the legal papers.

Ryan
Feb 10th, 2012, 03:43 PM
Sorry Szavay#1. :(

My parents split up about 4 years now (hard to believe its been so long!), and it was extremely tough to get through. Everyone handles it differently. I chose not to talk about it and pretend it didn't bug me - but that definitely didn't help a lot, in the long run. I'd say find a couple people who you can vent to, have something to distract you (school/work/hobby), just so you can focus on something else when you need to. And don't be afraid to have some crappy days; enjoy them, sometimes it can be nice to feel sorry for yourself.

delicatecutter
Feb 10th, 2012, 03:58 PM
I remember being ecstatic when my parents divorced when I was 9. My dad was never around much anyway and they had a very bad marriage. He was physically abusive to her and I remember the cops always being called and him winding up in jail numerous times. Unfortunately she turned around and married an even bigger asshole. :o

Vartan
Feb 10th, 2012, 04:05 PM
It was pretty good for me. Get to live in two places. Get spoiled by both parents. Get enough time apart :shrug:

Queenpova
Feb 10th, 2012, 04:26 PM
It was pretty good for me. Get to live in two places. Get spoiled by both parents. Get enough time apart :shrug:

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

miffedmax
Feb 10th, 2012, 04:42 PM
Sorry to hear you are going through it. The best thing to do I think is to do just what you're doing right now--find a support group of people you can talk to. I would suggest you also look to RL friends, too, if you have some that have gone through this.

I can't speak to what it was like for my kids, but I can assure this was a very painful decision for your parents. I hope they are handling things well, but understand that they may be saying some things that come from their own pain right now that you need to ignore (or maybe they aren't--some parents are actually pretty good about that).

Also, as is so often the case, it does get better. Not right away, maybe not for a long time. But you will adjust to things. Hopefully both parents will be involved with you as you move forward.

Don't be afraid to get help from a counselor or therapist, either. We had both of our kids go through some counseling (it was actually court-ordered even though our divorce was fairly clean and settled out of court) and it really helped them.

And come back and ask for such help as we can give when you need it.

Yoncé
Feb 11th, 2012, 09:16 AM
Sorry to hear :hug: It will get better though, and your parents will probably end up happier in the end, which should surely make you happy!

For me, I was like two, so I probably dealt with it by eating mushed carrots.

Helen Lawson
Feb 11th, 2012, 01:16 PM
Yuck, divorce creates all kinds of nonsense. Hopefully you are an adult and it won't matter, but if you're not, well, you will grow up fast. Your parents will start to date freaks, my dad went out with some bipolar lady (not on meds) and not only did she scheme to make my life horrible and drive my mother nuts, she ended up in the nuthouse herself (which she deserved). My dad said she gave good blow jobs, so he didn't care about her nastiness. She then tried to kill him once, and at least that devalued the blow jobs and they broke up. But then he married this gold digger who spent his money like water and was pretty much just as bad, and, you guessed, it, he saw her as angel on earth due to blow job skills. Then my mom dated this married guy and was miserable and horrible to be around because he would never leave his wife, so she ditched him and dated a drug-dealing tow-truck driver who was dealing drugs out of where we lived and he and my mom would go on drug drops and stuff in the middle of the night. While I was trying to sleep because I had mid-terms the next day! But it made the married guy jealous, so he was back and she threw the drug dealer out. And then my mother was totally broke after the divorce so there was constant bitching and friction over money.

It was sort of fun at the time as bad as it sounds now. Life won't be dull. Just try to do well in school so you can escape for college and get your own life.

RenaSlam.
Feb 11th, 2012, 01:43 PM
First marriage is for kids, second is for love.

Helen Lawson
Feb 12th, 2012, 12:58 AM
Based on my experience, a guy's second marriage is to a woman who gives good blow jobs, and a woman's second husband has a big dick and nothing else going for him.

young_gunner913
Feb 12th, 2012, 01:08 AM
Based on my experience, a guy's second marriage is to a woman who gives good blow jobs, and a woman's second husband has a big dick and nothing else going for him.

:sobbing: But it's true.

Helen Lawson
Feb 12th, 2012, 01:11 AM
It is true! I'm against divorce when children are involved. The guy can just have a mistress who does blow jobs and the woman can bang the local big-dicked dope on the side. Second marriages never last anyway, so might as well stay together and just pretend.

Yoncé
Feb 12th, 2012, 01:51 AM
Based on my experience, a guy's second marriage is to a woman who gives good blow jobs, and a woman's second husband has a big dick and nothing else going for him.

It is true! I'm against divorce when children are involved. The guy can just have a mistress who does blow jobs and the woman can bang the local big-dicked dope on the side. Second marriages never last anyway, so might as well stay together and just pretend.

:hysteric: You're incredible :sobbing:

King Halep
Feb 12th, 2012, 01:53 AM
It is true! I'm against divorce when children are involved. The guy can just have a mistress who does blow jobs and the woman can bang the local big-dicked dope on the side. Second marriages never last anyway, so might as well stay together and just pretend.

Helen speaks the truth. Not to mention all the court fees that are saved. Problem is the woman rarely wants to pretend.

The Dawntreader
Feb 12th, 2012, 03:05 AM
I imagine divorce to be ugly, but ultimately necessary.

Szavay #1
Feb 25th, 2012, 12:26 AM
thx everybody. :)

sorry i didn't explain. :o it's not my parents. it's actually my sister. the oldest kid in my fam and the 1st to get a divorce. she's only been married for 2.5 yrs. totally sad (she has a daughter) and she's going through what we're calling an "eat pray love" phase. long story, don't agree with her at all but she is my sister so I'm slowly coming around to accepting the divorce.

Sp!ffy
Feb 25th, 2012, 12:42 AM
It was pretty good for me. Get to live in two places. Get spoiled by both parents. Get enough time apart :shrug:

I agree with this. Then the parents re-marry and you get 4 Christmases.

Calvin M.
Feb 27th, 2012, 06:20 AM
thx everybody. :)

sorry i didn't explain. :o it's not my parents. it's actually my sister. the oldest kid in my fam and the 1st to get a divorce. she's only been married for 2.5 yrs. totally sad (she has a daughter) and she's going through what we're calling an "eat pray love" phase. long story, don't agree with her at all but she is my sister so I'm slowly coming around to accepting the divorce.

Hey your sister's decision may save several people a lot of heartache!