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Fighterpova
Jan 7th, 2012, 06:10 PM
I'm 16 and a half-ish and I finally came out, but only to 2 of my best friends. They are the people I could trust with anything in the world and they've always been by my side. Not to mention we've all been great friends over the years and I am so lucky to have them!
They've known me for a very long time, so they weren't too shocked, they took it pretty well. They told me that it doesn't matter at all, because I'm a great friend/person and that we'll always stick together no matter what :sobbing: :hug: I almost started crying :lol:

We went out and everything was looking like a normal night, but when we were coming back home later in the evening and when we were completely alone I told them. My voice was shaking, I was so nervous :lol:
But I feel so lucky to have such amazing friends, they're the best friends in the world :hearts: :hug:

But this is just a small step.
I still have to come out to the rest of my friends(including a guy friend that I've gotten really close with and who I have started developing deep feelings for) and to my parents, which wont be easy at all :unsure:



So my question is, when did you first come out and to who? :)

PatrickRyan
Jan 7th, 2012, 07:09 PM
awww congrats :hug:
It really is a long process, at least for me it was.
Just take your time and when the time feels right tell them.
I'm sure your family with love you no matter what!
Good luck! :D

Fighterpova
Jan 7th, 2012, 07:11 PM
^ Thanks for the support :)

Petkorazzi
Jan 7th, 2012, 07:21 PM
I have no experience in that, but good luck :) i would imagine that would show who your true friends are though. If people change their opinion of you because of that, then you should be thankful as they never were worth being your friends in the first place. ;)

Keegan
Jan 7th, 2012, 07:38 PM
Good luck. When I came out I realized it's a long and very emotionally tough process and can take time to get used to it. I thought it'd be simpler to get used to life out of the closet considering I always thought I was gay, but it wasn't that easy. If you need advice, I'm sure plenty of people on the forum will be able to help :)

I came out first to my best friend Alice. It was tough and took a lot of courage to actually say it. That was just over a year ago. :)

Adal
Jan 7th, 2012, 07:43 PM
16 when I came out to my parents
17 when I came out to my friends.

And now that I'm 19 it's a more widely known information and not a big secret anymore. Not only my friends, but also lots of people who I study with and just people I come across know that I'm gay as well.

I'm glad that you're already out to some people at such young age. Coming out to parents is a big step, but I don't see it being very problematic, unless you come from a very religious family.

Best of luck!

Helen Lawson
Jan 7th, 2012, 07:59 PM
Great news, hon! I hope it gets better for you from here out.

pov
Jan 7th, 2012, 08:13 PM
16?? Shessh I feel old. I have nothing to say specifically about the gay thing. What I do have to say is: yeah - be proud of and appreciate yourself - period. Even when others seem not to. And congrats. :yeah:

ampers&
Jan 7th, 2012, 08:21 PM
First person I officially came out to was my friend in college when I was 20 and only came out to my family recently. I'm 26 and they were all surprisingly receptive (most of them telling me they knew already :sobbing: ).

Coming out to my family and friends was the best thing that ever happened to me. Changed my life for the better. I'm finally ME. It was an incredibly difficult thing to do but, really, the right thing when you know who you are and the kind of life you want to live.

Good luck kid and congrats on making the first step. :)

Dominic
Jan 7th, 2012, 08:25 PM
:cheer: congratulations!! I'm so happy for you. I also had no problem with any of my friends. They actually thought it was cool :lol:

borrowedheaven
Jan 7th, 2012, 09:27 PM
My friends were the first to know. They all took it well -- some were surprised, others weren't. I've got a lot of support from my best friend, untill we had a fight and he told it to several people I wasn't even close with. I was, and still am actually, heart-broken about it. It made me hard to trust people.
Then I told my sister, who was very cool about it. I still have to break the news to my parents, 'though.

Reptilia
Jan 7th, 2012, 09:33 PM
Congratz :):hug:
I'm 20 and I started coming out about a year ago.. Still haven't brought it up with my parents yet but I think pretty much all my friends know..

Tripp
Jan 8th, 2012, 06:05 AM
I first came out to my friends when I was 14 or something, and I remember feeling really nervous about it, but I guess it's just a matter of attitude. Growing up in a small town wasn't easy, but you have to make people know you're gay and OK with it, and the rest will follow. As far as the parents thing go, I told my parents when I was 18, after I'd left home to study in Buenos Aires.

My advice would be that you need to make them know that you're not asking for permission to be gay, you're just sharing something personal with them, and that they should feel glad you're telling them because it means you want them to be a part of your life. Most of the times it works out just fine, so have some courage and above all, attitude! That's all it takes!

Fighterpova
Jan 8th, 2012, 06:20 AM
^ Thanks! I plan on telling my parents(hopefully) after I turn 18 and move to Belgrade to go to university :lol:

I planned that it would be the best. Even if they don't take it well and don't want to talk to me, at least I'll be away, starting a new life :awww:

Andy.
Jan 8th, 2012, 06:23 AM
^ Thanks! I plan on telling my parents(hopefully) after I turn 18 and move to Belgrade to go to university :lol:

I planned that it would be the best. Even if they don't take it well and don't want to talk to me, at least I'll be away, starting a new life :awww:
I think an important thing to remember as well is that 9 time out of ten it will be worse in your mind, maybe even more than that. The people that love you will love you no matter what and I know it sounds massively corny but it is sooo liberating once you do it and your relationships with your friends and family are so much better because you are the real you around them.

Fighterpova
Jan 8th, 2012, 06:34 AM
I think an important thing to remember as well is that 9 time out of ten it will be worse in your mind, maybe even more than that. The people that love you will love you no matter what and I know it sounds massively corny but it is sooo liberating once you do it and your relationships with your friends and family are so much better because you are the real you around them.

Thanks! It's always nice getting advice from people that have already experienced what I am right now.
And the only place I can get advice about this kind of stuff is TF, there aren't that many gay people where I live :tape:

I agree, it does feel very liberating, I was so happy when I got back home and thought about it. I know that they're with me and that nothing has changed in our relationship, so at least the first step is done :lol:

Fighterpova
Jan 8th, 2012, 07:02 AM
This is going to be long(ish) so thanks to everyone who reads it :)


I know it sounds cheezy, but TF has helped me a lot in a way of finding out who I am and accepting it and during my time on TF I have hatched from the gay egg :haha:
I was very closed and quiet about my sexuality and I really didn't think about it because I didn't want to. Last year was my first year of high school and I can honestly say it was the hardest part of my life so far. School wise it was great, I was one of the best students(if not the best) and I am now too, but the thing is, of course, it was so hard for me to adapt in the relatively cruel environment of a high school. I was bullied on a daily basis and I was teased and even threatened, gay hate is pretty high here.

So of course, I was going through a rough patch, I was sad most of the time, I even cried often before I went to bed, I had nightmares, etc. I realized that I wasn't like 'others' at the age around 13-14, but I didn't pay too much attention to it, but then I realized I couldn't control it and it was a part of who I was/am/will be. Psychologically it's very hard to accept yourself and your sexuality, because you just know it's not always going to be easy. But at that point I still didn't accept it and I swore that I wold never be with a man.

But then came summer and the long summer break, possibly the most memorable and meaningful period in my life. I just needed a break from everything and 3 months of summer break were just enough! I had an absolutely fabulous time. I went on holidays to Spain and it was amazing to say the least, I had so much fun with my friends, so many great memories and so many things that I did that I didn't do before it was just awesome. And then of course I joined TF which was also life-changing. I saw how other people like me live and what were their stories like and I don't know, everything changed for the better from then on! I finally accepted who I was and my eternal struggle is over.I even had the courage to tell my friends I was gay, so in a way I am already living a new chapter in my life and so far I like it. I am much, much, much more confident, mature and happy now. I don't care what other people think anymore, I just care about my closest family and friends.


Even though some may say homosexuality is a curse, in a way I feel like it's a gift, because we mature at such a young age and see the world with much different eyes, much wider. We get to experience love on a whole new level :eek:
Since this is basically the "beginning" of my life I can say that I am excited, but also nervous at the same time. Anyway, it's gonna be one wild ride :)

Fighterpova
Jan 8th, 2012, 07:07 AM
Ok, completely off topic, but how do you give someone reps?

Do you click on the http://imgsrv2.tennisuniverse.com/wtaworld/images2007/buttons/reputation.gif and then click I approve/disapprove.

I was wondering, because I get lots of good reps from really great people here and I wish I knew how to use it properly. Sometimes I really laugh hard at some posts(in a good way of course) and other times they're really deep and emotional :)

Sam L
Jan 8th, 2012, 07:24 AM
Ok, completely off topic, but how do you give someone reps?

Do you click on the http://imgsrv2.tennisuniverse.com/wtaworld/images2007/buttons/reputation.gif and then click I approve/disapprove.

I was wondering, because I get lots of good reps from really great people here and I wish I knew how to use it properly. Sometimes I really laugh hard at some posts(in a good way of course) and other times they're really deep and emotional :)
It's this button http://imgsrv2.tennisuniverse.com/wtaworld/images/buttons/blue/reputation.gif but yes.

Kart
Jan 8th, 2012, 09:55 AM
http://www.tennisforum.com/showthread.php?t=366471

Fighterpova
Jan 8th, 2012, 01:25 PM
^ So? I shared my story in my thread, you gotta problem with that? :p

Kart
Jan 8th, 2012, 01:57 PM
Actually no - if I had a problem with you sharing your story I'd have told you. I just thought you might find the thread an interesting read. Forgive me for trying to be nice.

Fighterpova
Jan 8th, 2012, 02:07 PM
Lol dude, I was just kidding :spit: :lol:

delicatecutter
Jan 8th, 2012, 02:31 PM
I just read that whole thread and it was interesting indeed. Thanks for the link!

moby
Jan 8th, 2012, 02:47 PM
TF gays should get together and do a "It Gets Better" video. Even though the project is so 2011, I don't think they've had one done on a significant online community, esp. one whose primary agenda is something aside from sexuality.

Dominic
Jan 8th, 2012, 03:31 PM
TF gays should get together and do a "It Gets Better" video. Even though the project is so 2011, I don't think they've had one done on a significant online community, esp. one whose primary agenda is something aside from sexuality.

OMG yes!

égalité
Jan 8th, 2012, 05:09 PM
Congrats! The first person I told was my sister when I was 16. After that I didn't need to tell anyone else in the family because she can't keep a secret. :spit: I told some of my friends (including one I had a crush on) and pretty much everyone was fine with it. The good thing about coming out to friends is that you usually know beforehand who's going to be okay with it. And the ones who won't be, you can just stop being friends with them. :oh: I came out to the rest of the world (i.e. resolved to be proud of and never to lie about my sexual orientation) when I was 18, almost 19. College is a great place to do it.

And like someone else said, it's never going to be as bad as you're afraid it will be. I come from a family of crazy liberals and have a stepmom who leads seminars to educate high school teachers on issues facing LGBTQ students, and I was still afraid of coming out to them. :spit:

Fighterpova
Jan 8th, 2012, 08:43 PM
I got 8 good reps in this thread already :haha: :spit:

Thanks so much for the support guys, I love all of you :kiss:

Steven.
Jan 11th, 2012, 06:34 AM
I'm so genuinely happy for you lol :hug: things can only get better from here. :)

As for me, I never really traditionally came out. Rumours circulate around high school like fuck if you're not careful with your actions/what you do and that's basically what happened with me. It didn't help that they're really judgmental and I was never on most people's good side anyway. However, majority of them were skeptical and were pretty sure I was just bicurious or something, "didn't really get that vibe" from me apparently, but it still killed me that I was continually the talk of the cohort and definitely not in a good way (I barely had any friends...).

I'm pretty lucky in some ways though. There were a few other gays in my cohort and pretty popular so I didn't really get the shits to my face about being gay or anything, but boy... from what I heard, quite harsh things were said, like for example, "If he ever looks at me again, I'm going to punch his fucking face" and so on. Also I'm pretty lucky that despite most of the hostiliy, I still had amazing friends I could always count on, and I'm lucky that by the time the final year of HS came around, everyone was much more open minded, let go of trivial shit from back in the earlier years and the entire cohort was just like one big family and so coping wasn't too bad. I'd even go as far to say that the final year was fun?

I think all the rumours and drama made me a much tougher person and helped the coming out process much easier... I guess it just gave me the excuse to stop hiding? I didn't do the whole dramatic coming out thing though, like announcing out of nowhere etc. but if someone asked if I have/had a gf or if I'm really gay then I'd just tell them the truth.

Anyway, I'm heading into second year uni this coming March and I have to say, life has been simply amazing. Things get so much better highschool. 2011 was honestly the best year of my life; I've met the most amazing people who accept me for who I am, and kept a strong bond with my closest of highschool friends. These amazing people are the reason why I don't feel the need to hide my identity can be myself every day.

Coming out was a gradual and long process, but it's really worth it. Everyone from high school and uni knows I'm gay. Came out to my cousins and brother some time last year as well and I'm still tight, if not tighter, with them as ever. Only person I'm not out to that actually matter are my parents; my dad is EXTREMELY religious, and I remember back like 5-6 years ago, my mum telling me she had a dream about my brother being gay and she bawled her eyes out or something so... I'm not coming out to them until I'm finanancially stable and have moved out.

Hmmm... sorry for rambling on with so much irrelevant details (honestly it would've been like 3x longer but I cut it down rofl). I tend to do this when I'm typing a very personal post.

Theodoropen
Jan 11th, 2012, 12:01 PM
I just finished reading this thread now and damn near cried a couple of times.

I'm so pleased for you, I ♥ Maria! It's wonderful to hear about how empowering and positive you've found coming out to be so far. :hug:

I don't have much of a coming out story to tell, as it was a process spanning a few years and it was a while ago now, with the memory fading and all. I remember it got easier and better all the time though, and it did have a huge impact on my personality - went from being nervous, shy and mousy to being completely at ease and quite outgoing. Again, that took a few years. I hope that if you have any shyness/nervousness issues, by coming out, you can bring yourself out of your shell too.

I did something similar to your plan of telling your parents when you go away for college. I would recommend that - distance, both spatially and headspace-wise, means that if they have a hard time handling the news at first, their opinion won't be 'the be all and end all' for you anyway.

My only bit of advice would be to try to come out first to those you're more sure would be cool with it. If and when you do come across friends, classmates, etc. who aren't so supportive, you might find it a lot easier to deal with their reactions when you already have a fair number of people around who do support you.

Fighterpova
Jan 11th, 2012, 03:24 PM
Thanks for the wonderful support and comments guys, it means a lot :hug:

Steven, I read the entire post and you should have written more, I loved it :p

Mikey.
Jan 12th, 2012, 12:18 AM
Came out to my friends yesterday actually. :hysteric: It was so nice to finally get it over and done with. They were so accepting and I've been in such a good mood afterward. I feel so elated rn!

Helen Lawson
Jan 12th, 2012, 12:55 AM
Ok, enough of the coming out stuff. You're out. Everyone posting here is out. Great! It will only get better and easier, and you will never regret it.

Now, on to more important things. I think everyone should post about their first gay sexual experiences, but only if you're over 18 and you keep it softcore so we don't get into trouble. I go last.

duhcity
Jan 12th, 2012, 12:58 AM
H3ZLbtWEQ54

Necessary.

Fighterpova
Jan 12th, 2012, 02:40 AM
Ok, enough of the coming out stuff. You're out. Everyone posting here is out. Great! It will only get better and easier, and you will never regret it.

Now, on to more important things. I think everyone should post about their first gay sexual experiences, but only if you're over 18 and you keep it softcore so we don't get into trouble. I go last.

Fine, I'll be happy to post about it when it happens :lol: :tape:

longtin23
Jan 15th, 2012, 07:10 AM
I feel so glad to see you have done your first step and I am also very delighted to see many posters here are so nice and friendly... I have similar stories with you, I came out to my very close friends (6 girls) at the age of 15, I wasnt nervous at all, because I think they should be able to accept... They are actually all my classmates and best friends at school. They actually aren't too shocking to know, but for me, I feel thats a huge relife... One of my friend actually always wanted me to become straight and always persuade me, but I always decline, and until now, I feel very happy to be gay and doing well at school.

But something I will not do is telling my sexuality to boys and to school 'publicly'. What I mean is I will not let the whole school to know I am gay, it will be horrible in Hong Kong if that situations had happened because most of the Hong Kong students or youngsters does not like gay people, they will use a different glasses to see you, looking at you strangely and you obviously will feel not comfortable about it. Also, I will not let any boys know I am gay, because they just treat me like bros, we always play together.*One of them always hug all the noys in our class :oh: including me, I enjoy that :oh:, but so needed to pretend to hate that, I feel so worry that f my sexuality is exposed to boys, no ne will even talk to me...

Speaking about parents, I will not choose to come out to them also, never. It is because I feel that my mum hate gay people. Actually in Hong Kong, I think no parents would love their children to be gay.;.. I will try to make dating with BF secretly, and not letting them to know forever. I feel myself one day will get married and born some kids cause I am bi, so I wouldn't be too worry. (But to be honest, I think I love boys more than girls)

I know this isn't any advice, but I would love to share my thoughts to all of you and maybe continue our gay discussions, I love that. Hope you will have a good and wonderful life being gay :hug:

duhcity
Jan 15th, 2012, 08:16 AM
TF is always here to listen. It's not an easy road, i'm not finished on that front myself, but its a step in the right direction.

And definitely feel you on the Asian parents thing. I was born in America, but my parents are Taiwanese. Not the most accepting culture.

Steven.
Jan 15th, 2012, 08:36 AM
Came out to my friends yesterday actually. :hysteric: It was so nice to finally get it over and done with. They were so accepting and I've been in such a good mood afterward. I feel so elated rn!

glad that it worked out! They're definitely your true friends if they accept you for who you are and treat you the same.

Ok, enough of the coming out stuff. You're out. Everyone posting here is out. Great! It will only get better and easier, and you will never regret it.

Now, on to more important things. I think everyone should post about their first gay sexual experiences, but only if you're over 18 and you keep it softcore so we don't get into trouble. I go last.

:spit:

Sp!ffy
Feb 27th, 2012, 12:27 AM
At my birthday party last night, I got really drunk. Usually I'm a really happy drunk person and I'm always dancing or socializing and cracking jokes but I felt really bothered/strange for some reason and I'm sure it had to do with a lot of new changes in my life.

Anyway, some family members thought it would be funny to get me a Maria Sharapova cake because they know how much I like her. Already drunk at this point, I told my cousins around me that she was the only girl I'd ever eat. :lol: Two of my (girl) cousins began to hound me for the rest of the night about my sexual experiences. I told them that I wouldn't tell and that my life was a "secret within a secret". I also said that I couldn't tell them because they were Catholic and judgmental even though I know I can trust them with anything. (I was just being a wreck and coy)

They kept making guesses that were so wrong and all I said was that I wouldn't say my secret explicitly but that they had to think outside the box. Finally my aunt said, "You're gay?" I said "I'm not going to say yes or no...my life's not an open book..." But then afterwards, I began to rant about double standards and how there's nothing wrong with being gay and how my uncles are assholes for making homophobic remarks in the past. I told them I didn't care anymore about what people think because I'm an adult and it's my responsibility to have that self-respect. It was basically my drunk affirmation of their guess, because one of them finally said, "I had a feeling you were sexually deviant!" :haha:

I actually feel like crap today and I wish I didn't do it (in that way, at least). I much preferred it when my life was secretive and people didn't know who I was sleeping with. I love my cousins and they're probably my best friends too but....it bothers me that my life is out there now. I've always been careful not to reveal too much to others, not just about my sexuality, but about everything. It's been my mechanism to protect...well, I'm not going to go into all that right now. :lol:

If anything, I'm just shocked that despite being drunk, I revealed that much in one night.

Sir Stefwhit
Feb 27th, 2012, 02:17 AM
It's such a release, like a million burdens lifted. Good for u in having the courage to share ur true self. I think you'll be relieved when your parents know as well. I hope they react like ur friends did.

ServeCaspian
Feb 27th, 2012, 03:55 AM
Thought my parents would kill me for drinking at 14. Didn't happen :confused:

Thought my parents would definately kill me for starting smoking at 15. Didn't happen :confused:

Thought my parents really had to kill me for finding out I was doing the biz with boys at 16 :oh:. Didn't happen :confused:

It is worse in your head, but at the same time you never stop coming out. You'll always have to tell people you're gay throughout your life. Best of luck :hug:

Rerun
Feb 27th, 2012, 07:13 AM
At my birthday party last night, I got really drunk. Usually I'm a really happy drunk person and I'm always dancing or socializing and cracking jokes but I felt really bothered/strange for some reason and I'm sure it had to do with a lot of new changes in my life.

Anyway, some family members thought it would be funny to get me a Maria Sharapova cake because they know how much I like her. Already drunk at this point, I told my cousins around me that she was the only girl I'd ever eat. :lol: Two of my (girl) cousins began to hound me for the rest of the night about my sexual experiences. I told them that I wouldn't tell and that my life was a "secret within a secret". I also said that I couldn't tell them because they were Catholic and judgmental even though I know I can trust them with anything. (I was just being a wreck and coy)

They kept making guesses that were so wrong and all I said was that I wouldn't say my secret explicitly but that they had to think outside the box. Finally my aunt said, "You're gay?" I said "I'm not going to say yes or no...my life's not an open book..." But then afterwards, I began to rant about double standards and how there's nothing wrong with being gay and how my uncles are assholes for making homophobic remarks in the past. I told them I didn't care anymore about what people think because I'm an adult and it's my responsibility to have that self-respect. It was basically my drunk affirmation of their guess, because one of them finally said, "I had a feeling you were sexually deviant!" :haha:

I actually feel like crap today and I wish I didn't do it (in that way, at least). I much preferred it when my life was secretive and people didn't know who I was sleeping with. I love my cousins and they're probably my best friends too but....it bothers me that my life is out there now. I've always been careful not to reveal too much to others, not just about my sexuality, but about everything. It's been my mechanism to protect...well, I'm not going to go into all that right now. :lol:

If anything, I'm just shocked that despite being drunk, I revealed that much in one night.

yes, well done and be proud of that moment of pure freedom
what its written below is so true, life is a constant coming out, but there will come a moment when u will just act the way u are without explaining too much because its a different behavior in a world of differences that means normality to me
the huge step is the talk with parents, they are among the few that usually deserve explanation and the ones able to surprise u most of times
it is normal to feel weird right now, u will methabolize soon and understand that what u made was a huge right step

:)

Rerun
Feb 27th, 2012, 07:14 AM
btw Pova cake :hearts:

Fighterpova
Feb 27th, 2012, 07:26 AM
Thought my parents would kill me for drinking at 14. Didn't happen :confused:

Thought my parents would definately kill me for starting smoking at 15. Didn't happen :confused:

Thought my parents really had to kill me for finding out I was doing the biz with boys at 16 :oh:. Didn't happen :confused:

It is worse in your head, but at the same time you never stop coming out. You'll always have to tell people you're gay throughout your life. Best of luck :hug:

:facepalm:

ServeCaspian
Feb 27th, 2012, 01:29 PM
:facepalm:

:angel:
UK society :rocker2:

miffedmax
Feb 27th, 2012, 07:00 PM
I'm glad you are comfortable and ready to do this.

Hope you are getting the love and support you need and deserve in RL as well as from here.

Fighterpova
Jun 27th, 2012, 01:20 AM
Hey, just wanted to update things since something really big happened. I'm glad I made this thread, it made me feel so much better and it's great to have such amazing friends who always support me :D Things have been good since and I'm still adapting.

Dunno if it's smart or not to tell everyone this, but here it goes. A couple weeks ago I met this guy at my tennis club and he is new there(he moved to my city a while ago), but he's already experienced at tennis. He's 17 and a half. He's about my height, maybe just a bit taller and has dark blond, short hair and dark blue eyes and VERY nicely built and he's very handsome. I saw him playing earlier that day and he was really good. Instantly I though "Wow, he's hot". So anyway, later, we were sitting in the lounge of our tennis club and I we were just having a nice convo and I was just trying to be friendly since he was new. We had a loooong convo and he was really friendly and funny. So before we went home, we exchanged phone numbers.

The next day, I had practice early in the morning and when I was done, I saw him again and he said "You were really good today, I'm impressed" and we then went to grab some ice cream and sit at a popular cafee for a bit. Last week, prior to the last day of school, we were on Skype and we were talking til 4.20 in the morning :eek: and this Sunday we went out for the first time(officially). I've known him for a very short amount of time(less than week at that point) but the more time I spent with him, the less I could control the way I felt. And we went out that night and had a blast and he walked me home since it was o his way home and then there was just a really awkward moment of silence and he looked in my eyes...my heart started pounding...he got closer to me...and then it just happened! We kissed. It was a short kiss, but I never felt like that in my life :lol: My lips were burning, my hear was pounding like crazy and I was so confused. I could barely sleep that night, I was thinking about it non-stop.

We were kinda awkward after that til yesterday and we had an awkward convo and he said that he wanted to go out again if I was up for it and I said yes. The thing is,I have no idea what's happening with me, I never felt like this about anyone, I've completely lost my appetite and all I can think about it him...Could it possibly be what I think it is??? :confused:

The thing is, I told myself I'll take it slow once I came out, but now I feel like things are happening all of a sudden :lol:

What do I do, help??? :lol:

Fighterpova
Jun 27th, 2012, 01:20 AM
:tape: what a long ass reply, I hope someone actually reads it :help: :lol:

Nicolás89
Jun 27th, 2012, 01:40 AM
That's so cute, I think you shouldn't take it slow, the pace you're having is fine for a relationship IMHO, plus there's no rule that says you should wait a certain amount of time to start a relationship after your coming out. Keep doing what your heart tell you, I think you're following the right instincts. ;)

longtin23
Jun 27th, 2012, 01:41 AM
I think that's simple, you love hime and he loves you. So why not!? It's a very sweet story btw...

Fighterpova
Jun 27th, 2012, 01:47 AM
I think that's simple, you love hime and he loves you. So why not!? It's a very sweet story btw...

Omg, love? :help:

Calm down people, I met this boy less than 2 weeks ago :lol:

Tennisation
Jun 27th, 2012, 03:36 AM
That's a cute story, whatever you're feeling right now is absolutely normal. I'm sure sex is coming up in the near future, possibly days to weeks (actually minutes to hours in the gay world). Whatever you do just make sure to be safe and use condoms.

Dominic
Jun 27th, 2012, 05:12 AM
It's called a crush, it's 100% normal and it's very cute :kiss:

Mikey.
Jun 27th, 2012, 05:59 AM
Awww That's really sweet. :tears: I say go and have some fun!

Rerun
Jun 27th, 2012, 07:49 AM
Hey, just wanted to update things since something really big happened. I'm glad I made this thread, it made me feel so much better and it's great to have such amazing friends who always support me :D Things have been good since and I'm still adapting.

Dunno if it's smart or not to tell everyone this, but here it goes. A couple weeks ago I met this guy at my tennis club and he is new there(he moved to my city a while ago), but he's already experienced at tennis. He's 17 and a half. He's about my height, maybe just a bit taller and has dark blond, short hair and dark blue eyes and VERY nicely built and he's very handsome. I saw him playing earlier that day and he was really good. Instantly I though "Wow, he's hot". So anyway, later, we were sitting in the lounge of our tennis club and I we were just having a nice convo and I was just trying to be friendly since he was new. We had a loooong convo and he was really friendly and funny. So before we went home, we exchanged phone numbers.

The next day, I had practice early in the morning and when I was done, I saw him again and he said "You were really good today, I'm impressed" and we then went to grab some ice cream and sit at a popular cafee for a bit. Last week, prior to the last day of school, we were on Skype and we were talking til 4.20 in the morning :eek: and this Sunday we went out for the first time(officially). I've known him for a very short amount of time(less than week at that point) but the more time I spent with him, the less I could control the way I felt. And we went out that night and had a blast and he walked me home since it was o his way home and then there was just a really awkward moment of silence and he looked in my eyes...my heart started pounding...he got closer to me...and then it just happened! We kissed. It was a short kiss, but I never felt like that in my life :lol: My lips were burning, my hear was pounding like crazy and I was so confused. I could barely sleep that night, I was thinking about it non-stop.

We were kinda awkward after that til yesterday and we had an awkward convo and he said that he wanted to go out again if I was up for it and I said yes. The thing is,I have no idea what's happening with me, I never felt like this about anyone, I've completely lost my appetite and all I can think about it him...Could it possibly be what I think it is??? :confused:

The thing is, I told myself I'll take it slow once I came out, but now I feel like things are happening all of a sudden :lol:

What do I do, help??? :lol:


omg the cuteness in this post just made my day :inlove:

GoofyDuck
Jun 27th, 2012, 07:53 AM
Hey, just wanted to update things since something really big happened. I'm glad I made this thread, it made me feel so much better and it's great to have such amazing friends who always support me :D Things have been good since and I'm still adapting.

Dunno if it's smart or not to tell everyone this, but here it goes. A couple weeks ago I met this guy at my tennis club and he is new there(he moved to my city a while ago), but he's already experienced at tennis. He's 17 and a half. He's about my height, maybe just a bit taller and has dark blond, short hair and dark blue eyes and VERY nicely built and he's very handsome. I saw him playing earlier that day and he was really good. Instantly I though "Wow, he's hot". So anyway, later, we were sitting in the lounge of our tennis club and I we were just having a nice convo and I was just trying to be friendly since he was new. We had a loooong convo and he was really friendly and funny. So before we went home, we exchanged phone numbers.

The next day, I had practice early in the morning and when I was done, I saw him again and he said "You were really good today, I'm impressed" and we then went to grab some ice cream and sit at a popular cafee for a bit. Last week, prior to the last day of school, we were on Skype and we were talking til 4.20 in the morning :eek: and this Sunday we went out for the first time(officially). I've known him for a very short amount of time(less than week at that point) but the more time I spent with him, the less I could control the way I felt. And we went out that night and had a blast and he walked me home since it was o his way home and then there was just a really awkward moment of silence and he looked in my eyes...my heart started pounding...he got closer to me...and then it just happened! We kissed. It was a short kiss, but I never felt like that in my life :lol: My lips were burning, my hear was pounding like crazy and I was so confused. I could barely sleep that night, I was thinking about it non-stop.

We were kinda awkward after that til yesterday and we had an awkward convo and he said that he wanted to go out again if I was up for it and I said yes. The thing is,I have no idea what's happening with me, I never felt like this about anyone, I've completely lost my appetite and all I can think about it him...Could it possibly be what I think it is??? :confused:

The thing is, I told myself I'll take it slow once I came out, but now I feel like things are happening all of a sudden :lol:

What do I do, help??? :lol:

:awww:

I dont have experience, but its obvious u like each other.
Btw, did you know he was gay?

hdfb
Jun 27th, 2012, 07:58 AM
omg the cuteness in this post just made my day :inlove:

I know me too :lol:

angelabarnes38
Jun 27th, 2012, 08:45 AM
It's called a crush, it's 100% normal and it's very cute :kiss:
Even I would call it as a crush. Let it continue for a while so that It could be called as love.

debby
Jun 27th, 2012, 09:44 AM
Hey, just wanted to update things since something really big happened. I'm glad I made this thread, it made me feel so much better and it's great to have such amazing friends who always support me :D Things have been good since and I'm still adapting.

Dunno if it's smart or not to tell everyone this, but here it goes. A couple weeks ago I met this guy at my tennis club and he is new there(he moved to my city a while ago), but he's already experienced at tennis. He's 17 and a half. He's about my height, maybe just a bit taller and has dark blond, short hair and dark blue eyes and VERY nicely built and he's very handsome. I saw him playing earlier that day and he was really good. Instantly I though "Wow, he's hot". So anyway, later, we were sitting in the lounge of our tennis club and I we were just having a nice convo and I was just trying to be friendly since he was new. We had a loooong convo and he was really friendly and funny. So before we went home, we exchanged phone numbers.

The next day, I had practice early in the morning and when I was done, I saw him again and he said "You were really good today, I'm impressed" and we then went to grab some ice cream and sit at a popular cafee for a bit. Last week, prior to the last day of school, we were on Skype and we were talking til 4.20 in the morning :eek: and this Sunday we went out for the first time(officially). I've known him for a very short amount of time(less than week at that point) but the more time I spent with him, the less I could control the way I felt. And we went out that night and had a blast and he walked me home since it was o his way home and then there was just a really awkward moment of silence and he looked in my eyes...my heart started pounding...he got closer to me...and then it just happened! We kissed. It was a short kiss, but I never felt like that in my life :lol: My lips were burning, my hear was pounding like crazy and I was so confused. I could barely sleep that night, I was thinking about it non-stop.

We were kinda awkward after that til yesterday and we had an awkward convo and he said that he wanted to go out again if I was up for it and I said yes. The thing is,I have no idea what's happening with me, I never felt like this about anyone, I've completely lost my appetite and all I can think about it him...Could it possibly be what I think it is??? :confused:

The thing is, I told myself I'll take it slow once I came out, but now I feel like things are happening all of a sudden :lol:

What do I do, help??? :lol:

omg this is soooo cuuuute awwwww :awww: :hearts: it's clearly a huge crush, the premices of a relationship! You are nervous, your hands are sweating, you can't stop thinking of the other, you always want to see him, you check your phone in hopes that he sent you a text... etc... this is really cute :lol:

and don't worry about the pace, just do whatever you want to do if you feel ready. Don't feel urged for anything really :help: but just be happy, good in your skin, and ready.... you should be comfortable with your new boyfriend :oh: ....

Yoncé
Jun 27th, 2012, 09:52 AM
That's so adorable :awww: just follow your heart, and you'll know how fast or slow to go. And have fun with it :lol:

ServeCaspian
Jun 27th, 2012, 10:07 AM
First love, bringing back the memories :sobbing:
Just go for it, if the feelings are there who cares bout time limits.

debby
Jun 27th, 2012, 10:25 AM
First love, bringing back the memories :sobbing:
Just go for it, if the feelings are there who cares bout time limits.

yeah as if there were rules for relationships to respect :lol:

have you heard of the 3rd or 5th date rule or some bs like that? :lol:

ServeCaspian
Jun 27th, 2012, 10:39 AM
yeah as if there were rules for relationships to respect :lol:

have you heard of the 3rd or 5th date rule or some bs like that? :lol:

A lot of my friends follow rules like that and it's put a dampener on a lot of their relationships...if they just had have went with their feelings.

debby
Jun 27th, 2012, 10:41 AM
A lot of my friends follow rules like that and it's put a dampener on a lot of their relationships...if they just had have went with their feelings.

What happened ? :sad:

ServeCaspian
Jun 27th, 2012, 10:45 AM
What happened ? :sad:

:lol:
No big story just a lot of friends who were seeing guys they liked limited the amount of texts they sent, time's they seen them, how nice they were to them. All that BS and slowly but surely what could have been a good relationship went down the drain.

debby
Jun 27th, 2012, 10:53 AM
:lol:
No big story just a lot of friends who were seeing guys they liked limited the amount of texts they sent, time's they seen them, how nice they were to them. All that BS and slowly but surely what could have been a good relationship went down the drain.

Many friends told me to follow the dude if he was escaping me, but to escape him if he was following me. :o Stupid rule.

Reptilia
Jun 27th, 2012, 11:06 AM
Adorable. :sobbing:

Fighterpova
Jun 27th, 2012, 12:05 PM
That's a cute story, whatever you're feeling right now is absolutely normal. I'm sure sex is coming up in the near future, possibly days to weeks (actually minutes to hours in the gay world). Whatever you do just make sure to be safe and use condoms.
No, it's not :lol: :spit: :unsure: He's hot and I definitely would(some day), but I'm just not ready :lol: You're just trying to scare me :lol:

It's called a crush, it's 100% normal and it's very cute :kiss:
Yhank you Dominic :hug:

Awww That's really sweet. :tears: I say go and have some fun!
I'll try :lol:
omg the cuteness in this post just made my day :inlove:
This post made my day :haha:

:awww:

I dont have experience, but its obvious u like each other.
Btw, did you know he was gay?
Absolutely no idea! It was such a huge surprise for me. But when I think about it, there were some hints. For example, when we went out he told me "You look really nice" and he was watching me during practice. I kinda ignored those things. But I'm still not sure about his sexuality, he could be bi or something :lol: :tape: Anyway, I'll probably find out later this week :lol:

I know me too :lol:
:hug:

borrowedheaven
Jun 27th, 2012, 12:06 PM
One of the cutest things I've ever read :awww: Really happy for you.

Fighterpova
Jun 27th, 2012, 12:15 PM
That's so adorable :awww: just follow your heart, and you'll know how fast or slow to go. And have fun with it :lol:
Thanks :kiss: But I think I have to follow my head(for now), because if I were to follow my heart/hormones, I'd probably rip his shirt off, lick his abs and probably do a bunch of other things that aren't appropriate mentioning on this forum :tape: :help: So yeah, my head always wins :cool:

First love, bringing back the memories :sobbing:
Just go for it, if the feelings are there who cares bout time limits.
Awwww :hearts: Cute post :hearts:

yeah as if there were rules for relationships to respect :lol:

have you heard of the 3rd or 5th date rule or some bs like that? :lol:
I agree with jameshazza. 'Rules' like that in a relationship are just BS. Like certain amount of texts, dates and playing hard to get. I imagine it gets very tiring :lol:

Adorable. :sobbing:
I know you hate me, so it means a lot that you actually replied here and made a nice post :hearts: :hug:

One of the cutest things I've ever read :awww: Really happy for you.
:awww: Thanks!

Fighterpova
Jun 27th, 2012, 12:17 PM
People on TF are really nice :awww: :hug: (outside of GM :oh:)

wales1994
Jun 27th, 2012, 01:16 PM
14/15 I came out to close friends. Then when I was about 15 I came out to everyone. No one was shocked really. But no one had any problems either! :)

Well done on you, it's hard. I had a very supportive family, so my coming out wasn't all that scary. Good luck to you anyway dude! :)

wales1994
Jun 27th, 2012, 01:24 PM
Hey, just wanted to update things since something really big happened. I'm glad I made this thread, it made me feel so much better and it's great to have such amazing friends who always support me :D Things have been good since and I'm still adapting.

Dunno if it's smart or not to tell everyone this, but here it goes. A couple weeks ago I met this guy at my tennis club and he is new there(he moved to my city a while ago), but he's already experienced at tennis. He's 17 and a half. He's about my height, maybe just a bit taller and has dark blond, short hair and dark blue eyes and VERY nicely built and he's very handsome. I saw him playing earlier that day and he was really good. Instantly I though "Wow, he's hot". So anyway, later, we were sitting in the lounge of our tennis club and I we were just having a nice convo and I was just trying to be friendly since he was new. We had a loooong convo and he was really friendly and funny. So before we went home, we exchanged phone numbers.

The next day, I had practice early in the morning and when I was done, I saw him again and he said "You were really good today, I'm impressed" and we then went to grab some ice cream and sit at a popular cafee for a bit. Last week, prior to the last day of school, we were on Skype and we were talking til 4.20 in the morning :eek: and this Sunday we went out for the first time(officially). I've known him for a very short amount of time(less than week at that point) but the more time I spent with him, the less I could control the way I felt. And we went out that night and had a blast and he walked me home since it was o his way home and then there was just a really awkward moment of silence and he looked in my eyes...my heart started pounding...he got closer to me...and then it just happened! We kissed. It was a short kiss, but I never felt like that in my life :lol: My lips were burning, my hear was pounding like crazy and I was so confused. I could barely sleep that night, I was thinking about it non-stop.

We were kinda awkward after that til yesterday and we had an awkward convo and he said that he wanted to go out again if I was up for it and I said yes. The thing is,I have no idea what's happening with me, I never felt like this about anyone, I've completely lost my appetite and all I can think about it him...Could it possibly be what I think it is??? :confused:

The thing is, I told myself I'll take it slow once I came out, but now I feel like things are happening all of a sudden :lol:

What do I do, help??? :lol:

WOW! I'm slightly jealous :sad: That's SUCH a cute story! I turned 18 last week, been on a total of 3 dates.... one with a creep who turned out A LOT older than he first told me. Another was a rugby build guy, took me spinning.... bought me a McFlurry. Tried it on but I pushed him away. And the other just turned out to be not my type at all. Don't know why I felt the need to say that, but I think you should definitely grab this chance. You may not be ready, but for what exactly? You could just casually see each other? Until you both feel it's time to let it progress.

In the gay world it's very rare to meet 'Mr.Rights', so never blow the chance when you have one ;) He could just be that first crush that you remember, who made you the person you'll turn out to be later in life. :)

GO FOR IT DUDE! :D

Fighterpova
Jun 27th, 2012, 01:40 PM
WOW! I'm slightly jealous :sad: That's SUCH a cute story! I turned 18 last week, been on a total of 3 dates.... one with a creep who turned out A LOT older than he first told me. Another was a rugby build guy, took me spinning.... bought me a McFlurry. Tried it on but I pushed him away. And the other just turned out to be not my type at all. Don't know why I felt the need to say that, but I think you should definitely grab this chance. You may not be ready, but for what exactly? You could just casually see each other? Until you both feel it's time to let it progress.

In the gay world it's very rare to meet 'Mr.Rights', so never blow the chance when you have one ;) He could just be that first crush that you remember, who made you the person you'll turn out to be later in life. :)

GO FOR IT DUDE! :D

THANKS DUDE :unsure:

Pump-it-UP
Jun 27th, 2012, 09:43 PM
Hey, just wanted to update things since something really big happened. I'm glad I made this thread, it made me feel so much better and it's great to have such amazing friends who always support me :D Things have been good since and I'm still adapting.

Dunno if it's smart or not to tell everyone this, but here it goes. A couple weeks ago I met this guy at my tennis club and he is new there(he moved to my city a while ago), but he's already experienced at tennis. He's 17 and a half. He's about my height, maybe just a bit taller and has dark blond, short hair and dark blue eyes and VERY nicely built and he's very handsome. I saw him playing earlier that day and he was really good. Instantly I though "Wow, he's hot". So anyway, later, we were sitting in the lounge of our tennis club and I we were just having a nice convo and I was just trying to be friendly since he was new. We had a loooong convo and he was really friendly and funny. So before we went home, we exchanged phone numbers.

The next day, I had practice early in the morning and when I was done, I saw him again and he said "You were really good today, I'm impressed" and we then went to grab some ice cream and sit at a popular cafee for a bit. Last week, prior to the last day of school, we were on Skype and we were talking til 4.20 in the morning :eek: and this Sunday we went out for the first time(officially). I've known him for a very short amount of time(less than week at that point) but the more time I spent with him, the less I could control the way I felt. And we went out that night and had a blast and he walked me home since it was o his way home and then there was just a really awkward moment of silence and he looked in my eyes...my heart started pounding...he got closer to me...and then it just happened! We kissed. It was a short kiss, but I never felt like that in my life :lol: My lips were burning, my hear was pounding like crazy and I was so confused. I could barely sleep that night, I was thinking about it non-stop.

We were kinda awkward after that til yesterday and we had an awkward convo and he said that he wanted to go out again if I was up for it and I said yes. The thing is,I have no idea what's happening with me, I never felt like this about anyone, I've completely lost my appetite and all I can think about it him...Could it possibly be what I think it is??? :confused:

The thing is, I told myself I'll take it slow once I came out, but now I feel like things are happening all of a sudden :lol:

What do I do, help??? :lol:
Oh my goddddd, this is so adorable. :crying2::awww:

Just trust yourself and don't be scared. :hug:

Fighterpova
Jun 27th, 2012, 10:03 PM
Oh my goddddd, this is so adorable. :crying2::awww:

Just trust yourself and don't be scared. :hug:

Thank you :kiss:

Mashi
Jun 27th, 2012, 10:17 PM
What an awesome thread, so inspiring! Really gives me self-confidence and hope for acceptance in the future. :hearts:

Fighterpova
Jun 27th, 2012, 10:18 PM
What an awesome thread, so inspiring! Really gives me self-confidence and hope for acceptance in the future. :hearts:

Thanks for the good rep Laserpova :D

Are you a guy or a girl btw? :lol:

Dave.
Jun 27th, 2012, 11:49 PM
:sobbing: :sobbing:

What everyone else has said, just go with it. :yeah:

Fighterpova
Jul 20th, 2012, 02:06 PM
Things are going well :) :couple:

Fighterpova
Jul 20th, 2012, 02:07 PM
Anyway, why don't people share their experiences? I don't want this to be a thread about myself :rolleyes:

Mikey.
Jul 20th, 2012, 03:00 PM
Congrats. :bigclap:

MaSharp
Jul 25th, 2012, 09:22 PM
Things are going well :) :couple:

This is so cool! :)
I'm really happy for you.

I was 16 (exactly two yeras ago) when the first time came out. I told my twin-sister and she didn't believe like ten minutes but then she realized that I'm serious. She was totally cool with me and a bit happy actually. :) It last more than half a year for me, to came out next time. I told my best friend, but over MSN and this isn't so cool. We're talking and I just wrote to her. She was very surprised with my information but also totally cool. :D Just two weeks later I finally told my mother. We're in my room and I was sooo fu*king nervous. :help:
But it was really cool. She said to me, that she loves me no matter who I am, and hug me. :awww:
In the next couples of weeks I told that ''secret info'' to my father, older sister, one another friend and all of them were really cool. Ok, father was firstly considerably confused, but it was fine quickly.
I'm not out in my class but if would anybody ask me, I would tell. Now a lot of people know for me and I'm really happy. Life is much less stressful. :lol:
I've almost totally accepted myself. :)

Messisleftfoot
Jul 26th, 2012, 12:47 AM
I know this is my first post but I saw this thread and felt the need to make an account just to post this, hoping against all hope I could find some understanding here.

So it all happened, or rather started, when I was 16. My parents and friends had never even thought I could be gay, and honestly neither had I; I had some sparse thoughts about guys but was rather convinced I was into girls. I had lost my virginity at 14 and hooked up with several girls since. So I was dating this girl for two months when I was 16 and was kinda friends with her twin brother too, although I always had the sneak suspicion he could be gay. One day, I went to her house to see her and surprise her but she wasn't there, she was out with a friend. Her (twin) brother though invited me to stay and play some FIFA with him, we were not close but got along well so I just said yes; so there we were playing, and he suddenly put his hand on mine, we started smiling at each other and then we just started kissing. I didn't think anything of it back then but just didn't back off. Meanwhile, her sister came out, saw us, threw a huge hissy fit and then told the whole school what she had seen.

So everyone at school now knows about this and we both lose all our friends, resulting in us becoming best friends. Life became hard at school though, I was mocked by pretty much everyone, ostracized. I still remember I had 'dyke' sprayed in my locker and found a whole bunch of pink clothes there and some lube. Also in biology class when we were talking about contraceptions and STDs everyone was looking and laughing at me. I was miserable at school. I had doubts about my own sexuality too, when to a few nightclubs and bars, hooked up with lots of random girls, but really something felt wrong. I wasn't enjoying it for more than one reasons, one of them perhaps bizarrely being that I found their pussies too loose.

So there I was, my life was a living hell at school, I was having like serious doubts about my sexuality and I only had one friend, who was exactly in the same situation. One day in school I just cracked, punched him and had a fight with him in front of the whole school, calling him a freak and all sorts of name really and saying he had made out with me. Guess it was a desperate and failed attempt to fight off peer pressure. One day when my parents were at work, he came over to my house and tried to reason with me; we had another fight but somehow we ended up making out in my living room and we went further. When my parents came home, he was sucking my dick right there in our living room couch. My parents are both huge homophobes and kicked me out immediately, saying I was a disgrace and they never wanted me to set foot on their house again.

At least I wasn't homeless as my older sister, who is working abroad, let me stay at her appartment. I started dating the guy but things just didn't work out great in the end, it only lasted a few months. He eventually cheated on me with another guy. So there I was, living alone in a hotel room, with no friends, no boyfriend, a complete pariah. Sometimes people I was once really close with just completely ignore me, don't reply to my hellos; my best friend (well, not anymore) told me he'd kill me if I ever spoke to him again.

My life now is pretty much all about hitting gay bars, trying to get know guys, hooking up. It's the only way to somehow fight off my loneliness and how miserable I feel. But not with much success; gay guys only seem to want sex and nothing else, I want more, I need someone to connect with. I'm not ashamed of being gay, but I just feel so lonely and miserable. It's just so hard, all of it. I don't expect anyone to understand or even respect it, but it's worth a try, sorry for wasting your time.

Fighterpova
Jul 26th, 2012, 01:44 AM
I know this is my first post but I saw this thread and felt the need to make an account just to post this, hoping against all hope I could find some understanding here.

So it all happened, or rather started, when I was 16. My parents and friends had never even thought I could be gay, and honestly neither had I; I had some sparse thoughts about guys but was rather convinced I was into girls. I had lost my virginity at 14 and hooked up with several girls since. So I was dating this girl for two months when I was 16 and was kinda friends with her twin brother too, although I always had the sneak suspicion he could be gay. One day, I went to her house to see her and surprise her but she wasn't there, she was out with a friend. Her (twin) brother though invited me to stay and play some FIFA with him, we were not close but got along well so I just said yes; so there we were playing, and he suddenly put his hand on mine, we started smiling at each other and then we just started kissing. I didn't think anything of it back then but just didn't back off. Meanwhile, her sister came out, saw us, threw a huge hissy fit and then told the whole school what she had seen.

So everyone at school now knows about this and we both lose all our friends, resulting in us becoming best friends. Life became hard at school though, I was mocked by pretty much everyone, ostracized. I still remember I had 'dyke' sprayed in my locker and found a whole bunch of pink clothes there and some lube. Also in biology class when we were talking about contraceptions and STDs everyone was looking and laughing at me. I was miserable at school. I had doubts about my own sexuality too, when to a few nightclubs and bars, hooked up with lots of random girls, but really something felt wrong. I wasn't enjoying it for more than one reasons, one of them perhaps bizarrely being that I found their pussies too loose.

So there I was, my life was a living hell at school, I was having like serious doubts about my sexuality and I only had one friend, who was exactly in the same situation. One day in school I just cracked, punched him and had a fight with him in front of the whole school, calling him a freak and all sorts of name really and saying he had made out with me. Guess it was a desperate and failed attempt to fight off peer pressure. One day when my parents were at work, he came over to my house and tried to reason with me; we had another fight but somehow we ended up making out in my living room and we went further. When my parents came home, he was sucking my dick right there in our living room couch. My parents are both huge homophobes and kicked me out immediately, saying I was a disgrace and they never wanted me to set foot on their house again.

At least I wasn't homeless as my older sister, who is working abroad, let me stay at her appartment. I started dating the guy but things just didn't work out great in the end, it only lasted a few months. He eventually cheated on me with another guy. So there I was, living alone in a hotel room, with no friends, no boyfriend, a complete pariah. Sometimes people I was once really close with just completely ignore me, don't reply to my hellos; my best friend (well, not anymore) told me he'd kill me if I ever spoke to him again.

My life now is pretty much all about hitting gay bars, trying to get know guys, hooking up. It's the only way to somehow fight off my loneliness and how miserable I feel. But not with much success; gay guys only seem to want sex and nothing else, I want more, I need someone to connect with. I'm not ashamed of being gay, but I just feel so lonely and miserable. It's just so hard, all of it. I don't expect anyone to understand or even respect it, but it's worth a try, sorry for wasting your time.

Omg, that is terrible :sad:

There is this guy that I like now and he likes me back, but yeah, I'm really scared about my future. I'll be moving in 2 years and most gay guys here just want sex and I want more...I want a meaningful relationship and I don't want to feel empty and alone, but the problem here is that gay guys are more hated in Serbia than murderers and such people :help: And nobody wants to speak a word with you if you are gay, which is why I am so lucky to have wonderful friends who accept me :)

I hope everything works out for you :) :hug:

And have fun on TF, it's like a wild jungle of never ending bitchiness and fun :hearts:

McPie
Jul 26th, 2012, 12:28 PM
I can't remember exactly who was the first person that told that I like to be dressed :lol: though I'm still straight :p




































ok my parents know this for a year now, but they still don't allow me to dressed out :o :lol:



ok I just wore women shoes to the mall and get into girl's toilet today :oh:

lefty24
Jul 26th, 2012, 10:13 PM
It's weird for me. I'm so scared to come out to my family even though my sister and mom suspect that I'm gay and would be perfectly fine with it. I can't ever imagine myself coming out to my dad. He's so conservative and old fashioned that the thought of one of this children being gay wouldn't even cross his mind.

To the public however I am the complete opposite. I talk about to strangers all the time.

Only 3 people know I'm gay. My best friend and her best friend who guessed, and my best guy friend. I wanted him to guess but he couldn't figure it out, but then his dad guessed.

ce
Jul 26th, 2012, 10:53 PM
So happy for you Fighterpova :hug:

Dominic
Jul 26th, 2012, 11:47 PM
I'm not ashamed of being gay, but I just feel so lonely and miserable. It's just so hard, all of it. I don't expect anyone to understand or even respect it, but it's worth a try, sorry for wasting your time.

Poor baby :[ I wanna give you a gigantic hug :hug: :hug: :hug:

Miss Atomic Bomb
Jul 27th, 2012, 12:50 AM
I'm 16 and a half-ish and I finally came out, but only to 2 of my best friends. They are the people I could trust with anything in the world and they've always been by my side. Not to mention we've all been great friends over the years and I am so lucky to have them!
They've known me for a very long time, so they weren't too shocked, they took it pretty well. They told me that it doesn't matter at all, because I'm a great friend/person and that we'll always stick together no matter what :sobbing: :hug: I almost started crying :lol:

We went out and everything was looking like a normal night, but when we were coming back home later in the evening and when we were completely alone I told them. My voice was shaking, I was so nervous :lol:
But I feel so lucky to have such amazing friends, they're the best friends in the world :hearts: :hug:

But this is just a small step.
I still have to come out to the rest of my friends(including a guy friend that I've gotten really close with and who I have started developing deep feelings for) and to my parents, which wont be easy at all :unsure:



So my question is, when did you first come out and to who? :)

The first steps are always the hardest, and it includes accepting it yourself.

When I came-out to my mum, it was all a big embarrassing scarring accident. I was 13 and doing stuff with this guy on our living room couch when she walked in on us. It was just horrible. Then a few years later my grandpa found out and disowned me. I moved out of the house when I was around 16, and havent really talked to him since. Obviously everyone I know knows that I am gay, whether they like it or not.

Dominic
Jul 27th, 2012, 01:11 AM
And you're from england? Isnt it a very open and gay friendly country?

Miss Atomic Bomb
Jul 27th, 2012, 01:21 AM
Some parts of the UK are open and gay friendly, but some of my family members are not. Since I come from such a varied background, I have a mixture of psychos, traditional and gay-friendly family members. This happened when I was still in New York.

Fighterpova
Jul 27th, 2012, 02:30 AM
I'm not from the UK :rolls:

Look at my flag, SERBIA :lol:

delicatecutter
Jul 27th, 2012, 02:33 AM
I'm not from the UK :rolls:

Look at my flag, SERBIA :lol:

He wasn't talking about you.

Fighterpova
Jul 27th, 2012, 06:02 AM
Omg fail :facepalm:

Certinfy
Jul 27th, 2012, 02:31 PM
I know this is my first post but I saw this thread and felt the need to make an account just to post this, hoping against all hope I could find some understanding here.

So it all happened, or rather started, when I was 16. My parents and friends had never even thought I could be gay, and honestly neither had I; I had some sparse thoughts about guys but was rather convinced I was into girls. I had lost my virginity at 14 and hooked up with several girls since. So I was dating this girl for two months when I was 16 and was kinda friends with her twin brother too, although I always had the sneak suspicion he could be gay. One day, I went to her house to see her and surprise her but she wasn't there, she was out with a friend. Her (twin) brother though invited me to stay and play some FIFA with him, we were not close but got along well so I just said yes; so there we were playing, and he suddenly put his hand on mine, we started smiling at each other and then we just started kissing. I didn't think anything of it back then but just didn't back off. Meanwhile, her sister came out, saw us, threw a huge hissy fit and then told the whole school what she had seen.

So everyone at school now knows about this and we both lose all our friends, resulting in us becoming best friends. Life became hard at school though, I was mocked by pretty much everyone, ostracized. I still remember I had 'dyke' sprayed in my locker and found a whole bunch of pink clothes there and some lube. Also in biology class when we were talking about contraceptions and STDs everyone was looking and laughing at me. I was miserable at school. I had doubts about my own sexuality too, when to a few nightclubs and bars, hooked up with lots of random girls, but really something felt wrong. I wasn't enjoying it for more than one reasons, one of them perhaps bizarrely being that I found their pussies too loose.

So there I was, my life was a living hell at school, I was having like serious doubts about my sexuality and I only had one friend, who was exactly in the same situation. One day in school I just cracked, punched him and had a fight with him in front of the whole school, calling him a freak and all sorts of name really and saying he had made out with me. Guess it was a desperate and failed attempt to fight off peer pressure. One day when my parents were at work, he came over to my house and tried to reason with me; we had another fight but somehow we ended up making out in my living room and we went further. When my parents came home, he was sucking my dick right there in our living room couch. My parents are both huge homophobes and kicked me out immediately, saying I was a disgrace and they never wanted me to set foot on their house again.

At least I wasn't homeless as my older sister, who is working abroad, let me stay at her appartment. I started dating the guy but things just didn't work out great in the end, it only lasted a few months. He eventually cheated on me with another guy. So there I was, living alone in a hotel room, with no friends, no boyfriend, a complete pariah. Sometimes people I was once really close with just completely ignore me, don't reply to my hellos; my best friend (well, not anymore) told me he'd kill me if I ever spoke to him again.

My life now is pretty much all about hitting gay bars, trying to get know guys, hooking up. It's the only way to somehow fight off my loneliness and how miserable I feel. But not with much success; gay guys only seem to want sex and nothing else, I want more, I need someone to connect with. I'm not ashamed of being gay, but I just feel so lonely and miserable. It's just so hard, all of it. I don't expect anyone to understand or even respect it, but it's worth a try, sorry for wasting your time.
Cheating on your girlfriend with her twin brother. :tape: I've heard everything now. :facepalm:

Mistress of Evil
Jul 27th, 2012, 03:24 PM
Cheating on your girlfriend with her twin brother. :tape: I've heard everything now. :facepalm:

After hearing about your one-night stand with a ghost whose gender remains unknown in Paris, I have as well. :)

debby
Jul 27th, 2012, 03:27 PM
After hearing about your one-night stand with a ghost whose gender remains unknown in Paris, I have as well. :)

omfg you paid for the subscription :speakles:
I will miss Queen Vivien :sobbing:

Certinfy
Jul 27th, 2012, 03:30 PM
Hooking up with a 'ghost' > Cheating on your gf with her twin brother anyway.

Messisleftfoot is a freak to even have the guts to do that.

debby
Jul 27th, 2012, 03:33 PM
Hooking up with a 'ghost' > Cheating on your gf with her twin brother anyway.

Messisleftfoot is a freak to even have the guts to do that.

It's bad but I've heard much worse.

Messisleftfoot
Jul 27th, 2012, 03:38 PM
Omg, that is terrible :sad:

There is this guy that I like now and he likes me back, but yeah, I'm really scared about my future. I'll be moving in 2 years and most gay guys here just want sex and I want more...I want a meaningful relationship and I don't want to feel empty and alone, but the problem here is that gay guys are more hated in Serbia than murderers and such people :help: And nobody wants to speak a word with you if you are gay, which is why I am so lucky to have wonderful friends who accept me :)

I hope everything works out for you :) :hug:

And have fun on TF, it's like a wild jungle of never ending bitchiness and fun :hearts:

Thanks for the support and for welcoming me on TF :)

Hope everything goes well for you, at least you have friends who support and understand you :)

:hug:

Poor baby :[ I wanna give you a gigantic hug :hug: :hug: :hug:

Thanks :hug:

Got your PM, will reply to it later :)

Hooking up with a 'ghost' > Cheating on your gf with her twin brother anyway.

Messisleftfoot is a freak to even have the guts to do that.

You're right, I'm just a freak :sad: No wonder I have no friends and am miserable and alone, I mean who'd want anything with someone who does something like that. Can't even look at myself in the mirror.

Still, although you're totally right, there was no need to send such a long and mean PM, was there :sad:?

debby
Jul 27th, 2012, 03:48 PM
Don't listen to him, he fucked up BIG TIME too.

I wouldn't dare judge you, you already feel bad enough and even if you cheated on your gf with her bro (it's actually quite common in cheating stories), you surely didn't deserve all that bashing. :hug: :hug:

This whole story is just awful. Awful awful.
Perhaps should you move out from your current city?

Doully
Jul 27th, 2012, 03:49 PM
Is this Certinfy twat for real?

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwoy2hWSlN1qdlkgg.gif

GoofyDuck
Jul 27th, 2012, 03:52 PM
After hearing about your one-night stand with a ghost whose gender remains unknown in Paris, I have as well. :)

DEAD

Andy.
Jul 27th, 2012, 11:42 PM
I know this is my first post but I saw this thread and felt the need to make an account just to post this, hoping against all hope I could find some understanding here.

So it all happened, or rather started, when I was 16. My parents and friends had never even thought I could be gay, and honestly neither had I; I had some sparse thoughts about guys but was rather convinced I was into girls. I had lost my virginity at 14 and hooked up with several girls since. So I was dating this girl for two months when I was 16 and was kinda friends with her twin brother too, although I always had the sneak suspicion he could be gay. One day, I went to her house to see her and surprise her but she wasn't there, she was out with a friend. Her (twin) brother though invited me to stay and play some FIFA with him, we were not close but got along well so I just said yes; so there we were playing, and he suddenly put his hand on mine, we started smiling at each other and then we just started kissing. I didn't think anything of it back then but just didn't back off. Meanwhile, her sister came out, saw us, threw a huge hissy fit and then told the whole school what she had seen.

So everyone at school now knows about this and we both lose all our friends, resulting in us becoming best friends. Life became hard at school though, I was mocked by pretty much everyone, ostracized. I still remember I had 'dyke' sprayed in my locker and found a whole bunch of pink clothes there and some lube. Also in biology class when we were talking about contraceptions and STDs everyone was looking and laughing at me. I was miserable at school. I had doubts about my own sexuality too, when to a few nightclubs and bars, hooked up with lots of random girls, but really something felt wrong. I wasn't enjoying it for more than one reasons, one of them perhaps bizarrely being that I found their pussies too loose.

So there I was, my life was a living hell at school, I was having like serious doubts about my sexuality and I only had one friend, who was exactly in the same situation. One day in school I just cracked, punched him and had a fight with him in front of the whole school, calling him a freak and all sorts of name really and saying he had made out with me. Guess it was a desperate and failed attempt to fight off peer pressure. One day when my parents were at work, he came over to my house and tried to reason with me; we had another fight but somehow we ended up making out in my living room and we went further. When my parents came home, he was sucking my dick right there in our living room couch. My parents are both huge homophobes and kicked me out immediately, saying I was a disgrace and they never wanted me to set foot on their house again.

At least I wasn't homeless as my older sister, who is working abroad, let me stay at her appartment. I started dating the guy but things just didn't work out great in the end, it only lasted a few months. He eventually cheated on me with another guy. So there I was, living alone in a hotel room, with no friends, no boyfriend, a complete pariah. Sometimes people I was once really close with just completely ignore me, don't reply to my hellos; my best friend (well, not anymore) told me he'd kill me if I ever spoke to him again.

My life now is pretty much all about hitting gay bars, trying to get know guys, hooking up. It's the only way to somehow fight off my loneliness and how miserable I feel. But not with much success; gay guys only seem to want sex and nothing else, I want more, I need someone to connect with. I'm not ashamed of being gay, but I just feel so lonely and miserable. It's just so hard, all of it. I don't expect anyone to understand or even respect it, but it's worth a try, sorry for wasting your time.

This has made me so sad :awww:. I really hope things get better for you :hug:

Shafanovic.
Sep 29th, 2012, 01:15 PM
I know this is not exactly a coming out story but I really don't know where to go or who I should talk to right now and I just needed to tell someone.

I was just talking to my mum and I told her I was gonna go get some ice cream with a friend and she asked me if he was gay and I said yes, and she said to me, don't be like him okay?

I just don't know what to do now :sad: I was having a shit day and then this happens and it just made me feel more of a failure more than I already do.

Dodoboy.
Sep 29th, 2012, 03:13 PM
I know this is not exactly a coming out story but I really don't know where to go or who I should talk to right now and I just needed to tell someone.

I was just talking to my mum and I told her I was gonna go get some ice cream with a friend and she asked me if he was gay and I said yes, and she said to me, don't be like him okay?

I just don't know what to do now :sad: I was having a shit day and then this happens and it just made me feel more of a failure more than I already do.

Wow, what nationality are you? Fully Australian? Also how old are you? Sorry to hear :hug:
Odd though, why would she ask that? And then tell you that? She may already know? Does she ask about the sexuality of all your friends?

You shouldn't feel bad though, tough to help really without more info atm.

Julian.
Sep 29th, 2012, 03:17 PM
I know this is not exactly a coming out story but I really don't know where to go or who I should talk to right now and I just needed to tell someone.

I was just talking to my mum and I told her I was gonna go get some ice cream with a friend and she asked me if he was gay and I said yes, and she said to me, don't be like him okay?

I just don't know what to do now :sad: I was having a shit day and then this happens and it just made me feel more of a failure more than I already do.

I had similar experience almost 10 years ago when I was 13 or 14 I think. She suddenly asked me whether I was gay but I denied it at that time and she said "Thank God, don't ever be". That is one of the reasons I'm still in the closet right now except to my boyfriend. :help:

Sammo
Sep 29th, 2012, 03:43 PM
I know this is my first post but I saw this thread and felt the need to make an account just to post this, hoping against all hope I could find some understanding here.

So it all happened, or rather started, when I was 16. My parents and friends had never even thought I could be gay, and honestly neither had I; I had some sparse thoughts about guys but was rather convinced I was into girls. I had lost my virginity at 14 and hooked up with several girls since. So I was dating this girl for two months when I was 16 and was kinda friends with her twin brother too, although I always had the sneak suspicion he could be gay. One day, I went to her house to see her and surprise her but she wasn't there, she was out with a friend. Her (twin) brother though invited me to stay and play some FIFA with him, we were not close but got along well so I just said yes; so there we were playing, and he suddenly put his hand on mine, we started smiling at each other and then we just started kissing. I didn't think anything of it back then but just didn't back off. Meanwhile, her sister came out, saw us, threw a huge hissy fit and then told the whole school what she had seen.

So everyone at school now knows about this and we both lose all our friends, resulting in us becoming best friends. Life became hard at school though, I was mocked by pretty much everyone, ostracized. I still remember I had 'dyke' sprayed in my locker and found a whole bunch of pink clothes there and some lube. Also in biology class when we were talking about contraceptions and STDs everyone was looking and laughing at me. I was miserable at school. I had doubts about my own sexuality too, when to a few nightclubs and bars, hooked up with lots of random girls, but really something felt wrong. I wasn't enjoying it for more than one reasons, one of them perhaps bizarrely being that I found their pussies too loose.

So there I was, my life was a living hell at school, I was having like serious doubts about my sexuality and I only had one friend, who was exactly in the same situation. One day in school I just cracked, punched him and had a fight with him in front of the whole school, calling him a freak and all sorts of name really and saying he had made out with me. Guess it was a desperate and failed attempt to fight off peer pressure. One day when my parents were at work, he came over to my house and tried to reason with me; we had another fight but somehow we ended up making out in my living room and we went further. When my parents came home, he was sucking my dick right there in our living room couch. My parents are both huge homophobes and kicked me out immediately, saying I was a disgrace and they never wanted me to set foot on their house again.

At least I wasn't homeless as my older sister, who is working abroad, let me stay at her appartment. I started dating the guy but things just didn't work out great in the end, it only lasted a few months. He eventually cheated on me with another guy. So there I was, living alone in a hotel room, with no friends, no boyfriend, a complete pariah. Sometimes people I was once really close with just completely ignore me, don't reply to my hellos; my best friend (well, not anymore) told me he'd kill me if I ever spoke to him again.

My life now is pretty much all about hitting gay bars, trying to get know guys, hooking up. It's the only way to somehow fight off my loneliness and how miserable I feel. But not with much success; gay guys only seem to want sex and nothing else, I want more, I need someone to connect with. I'm not ashamed of being gay, but I just feel so lonely and miserable. It's just so hard, all of it. I don't expect anyone to understand or even respect it, but it's worth a try, sorry for wasting your time.


Jesus Christ that's what I call bad luck, everyone caught you.

Shafanovic.
Sep 29th, 2012, 05:36 PM
Wow, what nationality are you? Fully Australian? Also how old are you? Sorry to hear :hug:
Odd though, why would she ask that? And then tell you that? She may already know? Does she ask about the sexuality of all your friends?

You shouldn't feel bad though, tough to help really without more info atm.

No, I'm Indonesian. I turned 20 last month.

She knew he was, because she's asked me before if I had any gay friends because she was talking about her gay friend.

It just sucks, because I have never been like fully comfortable with being gay, like now I know for sure I am and I say that I am, but if I could change one thing about myself, that would be the first thing sadly. And with her saying that, especially since we're close, it's just hard because I don't want her to love me any less because of it. :sad:

I had similar experience almost 10 years ago when I was 13 or 14 I think. She suddenly asked me whether I was gay but I denied it at that time and she said "Thank God, don't ever be". That is one of the reasons I'm still in the closet right now except to my boyfriend. :help:

:sad: :hug: This might be the thing that will make me forever closeted to my family.

I have almost told her quite a few times but couldn't bring myself to do it.

ce
Sep 29th, 2012, 05:42 PM
^ :hug:

Olórin
Sep 29th, 2012, 08:28 PM
Shafanovic and Julian,

Frankly if your parents don't love you unconditionally they certainly don't deserve such love in return. Live your life. Move away when you can, if you want to. Take time away from your mother's negative example of prejudice and gain some perspective if possible. You've got to make your own decisions and live your own life. Your parents have lived their own life and this is your life and no-one else's.

Adal
Sep 29th, 2012, 09:24 PM
Shafanovic and Julian,

Frankly if your parents don't love you unconditionally they certainly don't deserve such love in return. Live your life. Move away when you can, if you want to. Take time away from your mother's negative example of prejudice and gain some perspective if possible. You've got to make your own decisions and live your own life. Your parents have lived their own life and this is your life and no-one else's.
Exactly.

Go live your life, man.

Dominic
Sep 29th, 2012, 10:08 PM
Frankly if your parents don't love you unconditionally they certainly don't deserve such love in return. Live your life.

Definitely agree with this. If anyone had reacted with anything else than joy or indifference when I told them I was gay. I would have wanted as little as possible to do with them.. Luckily, not a single person has reacted in a negative way. :)

ServeCaspian
Sep 29th, 2012, 10:30 PM
I agree with all the 3 posters above, although with parents I think they are allowed a little more time. If they genuinely don't expect it, then it can be quite the shock. But if they haven't come around after a while then as Olórin said they don't deserve your love in return.

Monzanator
Sep 29th, 2012, 10:40 PM
Go live your life, man.

One has to afford to live his/her own life in first place. I imagine Julian has some kind of a job and doesn't live with his parents anymore? Because if he does than you don't bite the hand that feeds you. And cutting off ties with the "prejudiced" parents comes harder for some than for the others. Sometimes one must wait until the parents die to finally overcome the mental block. And it's not a question of who deserves to be loved or not, old habits die hard and if one's prejudiced towards LGBT people, it's not that easy to change those views just because their child is also one :shrug:

Julian.
Sep 30th, 2012, 01:39 AM
Shafanovic and Julian,

Frankly if your parents don't love you unconditionally they certainly don't deserve such love in return. Live your life. Move away when you can, if you want to. Take time away from your mother's negative example of prejudice and gain some perspective if possible. You've got to make your own decisions and live your own life. Your parents have lived their own life and this is your life and no-one else's.

Exactly.

Go live your life, man.

One has to afford to live his/her own life in first place. I imagine Julian has some kind of a job and doesn't live with his parents anymore? Because if he does than you don't bite the hand that feeds you. And cutting off ties with the "prejudiced" parents comes harder for some than for the others. Sometimes one must wait until the parents die to finally overcome the mental block. And it's not a question of who deserves to be loved or not, old habits die hard and if one's prejudiced towards LGBT people, it's not that easy to change those views just because their child is also one :shrug:

Yeah, I have a job and I live in a rented house with my boyfriend. And I have just recently moved to Toronto with my boyfriend away from my hometown in Perth, Australia. It's not easy to just cut ties with my parents/family because I don't want too, I love them so much and am really close to them. On the other hand I love my boyfriend too. Ugh. :o I'm just not ready to tell them for now. Maybe in a couple of years time, I don't know.

Andy.
Sep 30th, 2012, 01:45 AM
I have to agree with what some of the others have said. While it might be a bit of a shock initially I'm sure your parents will come around if the relationship is as good as what u guys state. Living a pretend or hidden life forever just isnt worth it. I come from an anglo background and both of my parents were pretty cool with it so I'm guessing Asian parents are r little more difficult to come out to.

Mikey.
Sep 30th, 2012, 02:16 AM
I know this is not exactly a coming out story but I really don't know where to go or who I should talk to right now and I just needed to tell someone.

I was just talking to my mum and I told her I was gonna go get some ice cream with a friend and she asked me if he was gay and I said yes, and she said to me, don't be like him okay?

I just don't know what to do now :sad: I was having a shit day and then this happens and it just made me feel more of a failure more than I already do.

Omg Chris! :tears: Why didn't you tell me?! :tears:

Really though it could be a bit different when she gets used to the idea. My mother used to say "Oh I don't know what I would do if any of my 3 boys turned out gay!" and it turns out 2 of the 3 are, and she's perfectly FINE with it now.


I agree with all the 3 posters above, although with parents I think they are allowed a little more time. If they genuinely don't expect it, then it can be quite the shock. But if they haven't come around after a while then as Olórin said they don't deserve your love in return.

Yes, this!

Shafanovic.
Sep 30th, 2012, 02:27 AM
Shafanovic and Julian,

Frankly if your parents don't love you unconditionally they certainly don't deserve such love in return. Live your life. Move away when you can, if you want to. Take time away from your mother's negative example of prejudice and gain some perspective if possible. You've got to make your own decisions and live your own life. Your parents have lived their own life and this is your life and no-one else's.

I love my mum so much, and I know she does too but I just don't want that to change. If I have to be a closet case for the rest of my life just to make her happy then I will because that's how much I love her. I know it's my life but what makes me happy is seeing my mum happy.

I have to agree with what some of the others have said. While it might be a bit of a shock initially I'm sure your parents will come around if the relationship is as good as what u guys state. Living a pretend or hidden life forever just isnt worth it. I come from an anglo background and both of my parents were pretty cool with it so I'm guessing Asian parents are r little more difficult to come out to.

Yeah I don't know, I'll have to think about what I should do for a while.

Omg Chris! :tears: Why didn't you tell me?! :tears:

Really though it could be a bit different when she gets used to the idea. My mother used to say "Oh I don't know what I would do if any of my 3 boys turned out gay!" and it turns out 2 of the 3 are, and she's perfectly FINE with it now.


I'm hoping I would grow the balls to actually tell her one day. And I didn't want to bother you with all my problems :sad: And you weren't exactly in the best condition to talk last night either from what I saw :lol:

Nicolás89
Sep 30th, 2012, 02:30 AM
Coming out to my parents was the scariest thing I've ever had to do, I felt so empowered afterwards though.

Cajka
Sep 30th, 2012, 02:53 AM
Shafanovic and Julian,

Frankly if your parents don't love you unconditionally they certainly don't deserve such love in return. Live your life.

It's not that easy, you mentioned the unconditional love yourself, so it's clear that we don't love our parents only if they "deserve" it. Of course, if your parents don't support you, you won't sacrifice yourself and live the life they want you to live. But giving up on your parents because they "don't deserve" your love is not a solution.

I'd suggest Julian and Shafanovic to stop hiding their sexuality not only from their parents, but in general. You can't hide it forever and delaying certain conversations will only make it harder to come out eventually and it's an unnecessary burden. Be honest to people you love, if they don't accept it immediately, be patient and work on your relationships with them. In the end of the day, parents usually want to see their children happy, so when they see you happy, they could change their attitude. So, guys, I won't pretend I know how you feel, but facing your fears is the only possible solution. Good luck.

égalité
Sep 30th, 2012, 07:59 AM
I love my mum so much, and I know she does too but I just don't want that to change. If I have to be a closet case for the rest of my life just to make her happy then I will because that's how much I love her. I know it's my life but what makes me happy is seeing my mum happy.



Yeah I don't know, I'll have to think about what I should do for a while.



I'm hoping I would grow the balls to actually tell her one day. And I didn't want to bother you with all my problems :sad: And you weren't exactly in the best condition to talk last night either from what I saw :lol:

If I were your mum and I read this sentence I'd smack you upside the head and tell you to come out of the closet. :lol: I think you'd be surprised by people's capacity to put their prejudices aside for the sake of their loved ones. Your mum loves you more than she hates gay people. I guarantee that.

Monzanator
Sep 30th, 2012, 02:41 PM
Yeah, I have a job and I live in a rented house with my boyfriend. And I have just recently moved to Toronto with my boyfriend away from my hometown in Perth, Australia. It's not easy to just cut ties with my parents/family because I don't want too, I love them so much and am really close to them. On the other hand I love my boyfriend too. Ugh. :o I'm just not ready to tell them for now. Maybe in a couple of years time, I don't know.

Moving to another country especially a LGBT tollerant like I presume Canada is serves as a perfect opportunity to start your life from the scratch and should allow you to come out in the new enviroment. I gather that you don't have any friends from Australia living there and I doubt any of the new people you meet in Toronto will call your home back to say anything about the whole deal either. Of course coming out to your parents is not something you should do on the phone but I think that the sooner your mother finds out about it the better. I can't possibly think what's it like to be hiding your orientation, but I hope you'll find the courage to come out soon :hug:

If I were your mum and I read this sentence I'd smack you upside the head and tell you to come out of the closet. :lol: I think you'd be surprised by people's capacity to put their prejudices aside for the sake of their loved ones. Your mum loves you more than she hates gay people. I guarantee that.

Well, I rarely agree with egalite, but that's probably the case here. It might look different if Julian came out of the third world country or deeply religious background (and I'm not saying about Christianity since the Muslim countries seem far more strict than Roman Catholic ones for instance) but I suspect it's much more easier when you're living in a Protestant country like Australia or Canada.

Shafanovic's situation is much more complicated especially that Indonesia has the biggest population among Muslim countries over the world IIRC.

rodriguez
Nov 7th, 2012, 02:43 AM
Come out and play a game of hopscotch!

Elwin.
Jan 2nd, 2013, 05:42 PM
I DID IT :hysteric:
Finally told my parents and sister. Still have to tell my brother though because he's in NY.
Told them to sit down, almost broke down in tears. So i told it pretty fast. I said; i have something important to tell. I'm gay. I felt so nervous and awful, but they were totally supportive.
I actually don't know how i feel right now. I feel happy, but i also feel kinda sad. :sobbing:

Honestly, i don't know how i managed to tell it. It wasn't planned and i still wanted to wait for a while.
I feel so weird :sobbing:

Gagsquet
Jan 2nd, 2013, 05:51 PM
That's pretty brave. Congrats.

Petkorazzi
Jan 2nd, 2013, 06:06 PM
I DID IT :hysteric:
Finally told my parents and sister. Still have to tell my brother though because he's in NY.
Told them to sit down, almost broke down in tears. So i told it pretty fast. I said; i have something important to tell. I'm gay. I felt so nervous and awful, but they were totally supportive.
I actually don't know how i feel right now. I feel happy, but i also feel kinda sad. :sobbing:

Honestly, i don't know how i managed to tell it. It wasn't planned and i still wanted to wait for a while.
I feel so weird :sobbing:
Proud of you, GOATly brotha :hug:

Olórin
Jan 2nd, 2013, 06:50 PM
It's not that easy, you mentioned the unconditional love yourself, so it's clear that we don't love our parents only if they "deserve" it. Of course, if your parents don't support you, you won't sacrifice yourself and live the life they want you to live. But giving up on your parents because they "don't deserve" your love is not a solution.


First of all I never claimed it would be easy. Secondly "taking time away from your parents' negative example" is hardly the same as "giving up on them". So I don't think your reply is even a reply to what I was saying. Cherry picking one line of a post and ignoring the rest isn't exactly the best way to respond to someone, generally.

I'm hardly telling either Julian or Shafanovic to "unlove" their parents based on my personal judgement, how absurd would that be. I was simply pointing out that it sounded to me like there may have been more conditions attached to one side of the love than the other. I assumed they wanted some external perspective.

You need to bear in mind in the post that I was responding to that Shafanovic's mother had told him "not to be gay". To me, that doesn't seem a healthy environment to be in as you try to discover your sexuality however much love there is there. And such an atmosphere makes it that much more difficult for him to "come out" or to "stop hiding his sexuality" as you suggested.

Time away from parents has actually helped a lot of LGBT people I know and has led to a better longer term relationship with their parents once both parties have been able to come to terms with sexuality etc. in their own space. This definitely one of the most useful aspects, socially, of the student culture.

debby
Jan 2nd, 2013, 07:06 PM
I DID IT :hysteric:
Finally told my parents and sister. Still have to tell my brother though because he's in NY.
Told them to sit down, almost broke down in tears. So i told it pretty fast. I said; i have something important to tell. I'm gay. I felt so nervous and awful, but they were totally supportive.
I actually don't know how i feel right now. I feel happy, but i also feel kinda sad. :sobbing:

Honestly, i don't know how i managed to tell it. It wasn't planned and i still wanted to wait for a while.
I feel so weird :sobbing:

OMG that's great !!! So so so happy for you mate ! :hug: :hug:

Olórin
Jan 2nd, 2013, 07:09 PM
I DID IT :hysteric:
Finally told my parents and sister. Still have to tell my brother though because he's in NY.
Told them to sit down, almost broke down in tears. So i told it pretty fast. I said; i have something important to tell. I'm gay. I felt so nervous and awful, but they were totally supportive.
I actually don't know how i feel right now. I feel happy, but i also feel kinda sad. :sobbing:

Honestly, i don't know how i managed to tell it. It wasn't planned and i still wanted to wait for a while.
I feel so weird :sobbing:

Good for you :yeah:

I feel like so many people have "come out" on this board over the years, and it being such a gay-friendly place it helps before "coming out" in real life.

Petkorazzi
Jan 2nd, 2013, 07:21 PM
Do you guys think parents have no doubts about us? :scratch: Like, from what I remember, i used to tell my father when i was like 10 how I supported FC Sunderland just because they had a pink outfit, and I remember dying for this knitting thing my neighbor girl had when i was like 6 :sobbing: i'm sure there must have been more things and sometimes i can't imagine them not having some kind of doubt.

kwilliams
Jan 2nd, 2013, 07:34 PM
I DID IT :hysteric:
Finally told my parents and sister. Still have to tell my brother though because he's in NY.
Told them to sit down, almost broke down in tears. So i told it pretty fast. I said; i have something important to tell. I'm gay. I felt so nervous and awful, but they were totally supportive.
I actually don't know how i feel right now. I feel happy, but i also feel kinda sad. :sobbing:

Honestly, i don't know how i managed to tell it. It wasn't planned and i still wanted to wait for a while.
I feel so weird :sobbing:

:yeah: Well done. Sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns. I am glad it went well and I hope it's easy from here on out :)

Do you guys think parents have no doubts about us? :scratch: Like, from what I remember, i used to tell my father when i was like 10 how I supported FC Sunderland just because they had a pink outfit, and I remember dying for this knitting thing my neighbor girl had when i was like 6 :sobbing: i'm sure there must have been more things and sometimes i can't imagine them not having some kind of doubt.

I'm sure some parents know on some level I remember one of my cousins was very jaunty and unusually eloquent as a child - one time when he said something particularly florid, my uncle just turned and said "so, we think he's gay." My uncle was just being funny at that moment but he did think said he thought my cousin probably was and that it was fine.

Elwin.
Jan 2nd, 2013, 07:38 PM
Thanks guys for the reactions :kiss:

Elwin.
Jan 2nd, 2013, 07:39 PM
Do you guys think parents have no doubts about us? :scratch: Like, from what I remember, i used to tell my father when i was like 10 how I supported FC Sunderland just because they had a pink outfit, and I remember dying for this knitting thing my neighbor girl had when i was like 6 :sobbing: i'm sure there must have been more things and sometimes i can't imagine them not having some kind of doubt.
IDK :lol: Some parents are just blind.
My parents said they had no idea, despite the fact that i loved the Backstreet Boys when i was little, always played with Princess Peach on mario kart and that i never had a GF :lol:
I mean, there were signs :lol:

Gagsquet
Jan 2nd, 2013, 07:42 PM
Princess Peach. :lol: The ultimate gay test. It seriously never crossed my mind to choose her.

Elwin.
Jan 2nd, 2013, 07:43 PM
Princess Peach. :lol: The ultimate gay test. It seriously never crossed my mind to choose her.

She was the fastest of all characters :spit:

kwilliams
Jan 2nd, 2013, 07:44 PM
I loved Yoshi!!

Isn't Chun-Li a better indicator!? :lol: Everybody chose Chun-Li. She was by far my favorite. Though I also liked M-Bison and Blanka. I wasn't much of a fan of Ken and Ryu...such bland outfits...at least Guile tried a little!

Sammo
Jan 2nd, 2013, 07:45 PM
Princess Peach. :lol: The ultimate gay test. It seriously never crossed my mind to choose her.

I thought that the ultimate gay test was choosing Chun-Li in Street Fighter :lol:

Edit: ^^ We said it at the same time :hysteric:

Petkorazzi
Jan 2nd, 2013, 07:46 PM
... What/who are those? #thirdworldcountrychild

Gagsquet
Jan 2nd, 2013, 07:51 PM
I thought that the ultimate gay test was choosing Chun-Li in Street Fighter :lol:

Edit: ^^ We said it at the same time :hysteric:

I played to Street Fighter when I was young but I don't even remember this character. :lol:

Sammo
Jan 2nd, 2013, 08:15 PM
http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/204/7/4/Chun_Li_by_Mad1984.jpg

I didn't really play to Street Fighter when I was young but for some reason I know the character :lol:

Monzanator
Jan 2nd, 2013, 08:18 PM
When I played Street Fighter I didn't even know gay people existed :lol:

kwilliams
Jan 2nd, 2013, 08:22 PM
^ Chun-Li is proof that people are born gay :lol:

égalité
Jan 2nd, 2013, 08:52 PM
I chose Princess Peach every time. :hysteric:

Mario Kart Double Dash was even better because you could team up as Peach and Toadette. :hearts:

Pump-it-UP
Jan 2nd, 2013, 09:00 PM
Yessssss, I was always Princess Peach too!! :crying2: The only time I chose someone else was when I played Mario Tennis with Birdo. :sobbing:
nCFJN-OQiXs

Nicolás89
Jan 2nd, 2013, 09:06 PM
I would choose only the male characters in videogames when I was a kid and still I turned out to be gay. :tears:

Gagsquet
Jan 2nd, 2013, 09:17 PM
you're a weird gay.

Dominic
Jan 3rd, 2013, 04:45 AM
I played to Street Fighter when I was young but I don't even remember this character. :lol:
:eek: She's like one of the main characters and the coolest one

Dominic
Jan 3rd, 2013, 04:46 AM
The best ever was Sindel from Mortal Kombat though :hearts:

Mattographer
Jan 3rd, 2013, 05:34 AM
I DID IT :hysteric:
Finally told my parents and sister. Still have to tell my brother though because he's in NY.
Told them to sit down, almost broke down in tears. So i told it pretty fast. I said; i have something important to tell. I'm gay. I felt so nervous and awful, but they were totally supportive.
I actually don't know how i feel right now. I feel happy, but i also feel kinda sad. :sobbing:

Honestly, i don't know how i managed to tell it. It wasn't planned and i still wanted to wait for a while.
I feel so weird :sobbing:

Yay, I'm so proud of you! :cheer: Your life just started right there! :bounce:


Sent from my iPhone using Verticalsports.com Free App (http://www.verticalsports.com/mobile)

Dominic
Jan 3rd, 2013, 05:41 AM
I DID IT :hysteric:
Finally told my parents and sister. Still have to tell my brother though because he's in NY.
Told them to sit down, almost broke down in tears. So i told it pretty fast. I said; i have something important to tell. I'm gay. I felt so nervous and awful, but they were totally supportive.
I actually don't know how i feel right now. I feel happy, but i also feel kinda sad. :sobbing:

Honestly, i don't know how i managed to tell it. It wasn't planned and i still wanted to wait for a while.
I feel so weird :sobbing:

Elwinette baby :sobbing: So proud of you!!! :)
You'll feel better and better about it, just let it sink in. I'm glad they were supportive :D

McPie
Jan 3rd, 2013, 05:48 AM
this is gonna be a game thread :lol:

McPie
Jan 3rd, 2013, 05:49 AM
sh*t, I remember that once my dad found me dressing up in my room :spit:

Valanga
Jan 3rd, 2013, 05:50 AM
I DID IT :hysteric:
Finally told my parents and sister. Still have to tell my brother though because he's in NY.
Told them to sit down, almost broke down in tears. So i told it pretty fast. I said; i have something important to tell. I'm gay. I felt so nervous and awful, but they were totally supportive.
I actually don't know how i feel right now. I feel happy, but i also feel kinda sad. :sobbing:

Honestly, i don't know how i managed to tell it. It wasn't planned and i still wanted to wait for a while.
I feel so weird :sobbing:

Elwin :inlove:

Pops Maellard
Jan 3rd, 2013, 06:25 AM
Elwin :yeah:.

kwilliams
Jan 3rd, 2013, 10:17 AM
The best ever was Sindel from Mortal Kombat though :hearts:

I loved Mileena. One of the first femme fatales of beat 'em ups!

Mikey.
Jan 3rd, 2013, 10:29 AM
I DID IT :hysteric:
Finally told my parents and sister. Still have to tell my brother though because he's in NY.
Told them to sit down, almost broke down in tears. So i told it pretty fast. I said; i have something important to tell. I'm gay. I felt so nervous and awful, but they were totally supportive.
I actually don't know how i feel right now. I feel happy, but i also feel kinda sad. :sobbing:

Honestly, i don't know how i managed to tell it. It wasn't planned and i still wanted to wait for a while.
I feel so weird :sobbing:

Well done, Babe! :hug:

Mikey.
Jan 3rd, 2013, 10:31 AM
Chun-Li ftw :lol: She was amazing! I loved her in the movie as well. I'd rewind the scene where she beat up M. Bison and rewatch it over and over again. :crying2:

Yessssss, I was always Princess Peach too!! :crying2: The only time I chose someone else was when I played Mario Tennis with Birdo. :sobbing:
nCFJN-OQiXs

YASSSS! :hysteric: Birdo! omg I loved Mario tennis. :tears:

rrfnpump
Jan 3rd, 2013, 12:07 PM
I am gay and always chose Ryu for Street Fighter and Bowser for MarioKart! :p

Gagsquet
Jan 3rd, 2013, 12:21 PM
I am gay and always chose Ryu for Street Fighter and Bowser for MarioKart! :p

It's time for you to make your coming-out.

Fighterpova
Jan 3rd, 2013, 02:17 PM
A year has passed since I opened this thread, but it feels like a past life. I can honestly say how much my life has changed in the last few years, but especially in the last year. So many things have changed (for the better), and a very few for the worse :cheer:

I've fully accepted who I am as a person and I've embraced it. A lot of it had to do with TF. I've heard so many of your stories here that inspired me and gave me hope in the moments I thought things would never get better. So thank you TF, I'm ever so grateful :hug:

I looked my difference as failure, but that same 'failure' became the foundation on which I rebuilt my life. Honestly, in the last year, I can't ever remember having a happier year than 2012. I've improved as a person, but most importantly I could live and breathe without feeling/caring for the heavy weight of judgement. I was finally able to let go and have fun and not care what other people think. I'm not the insecure and shy person I was when I started high school 2 years ago. I'm a much more positive person (apart from predicting Maria's matches :sobbing:).

My social and *love* :oh: life have improved a lot as well and so has my relationship with my parents. I managed to keep straight A-s in school, so all in all I can say 2012 was a good year, but hopefully 2013 will be been better :cheer:

Love you everyone :) :hug:

kwilliams
Jan 3rd, 2013, 02:23 PM
Great to hear :)

Cosmic Voices
Jan 3rd, 2013, 06:52 PM
This thread is so inspiring :hearts:

Dominic
Jan 3rd, 2013, 06:57 PM
I am gay and always chose Ryu for Street Fighter and Bowser for MarioKart! :p

That's cause you thought he was hot :oh:

joe87
Jan 4th, 2013, 04:20 PM
A year has passed since I opened this thread, but it feels like a past life. I can honestly say how much my life has changed in the last few years, but especially in the last year. So many things have changed (for the better), and a very few for the worse :cheer:

I've fully accepted who I am as a person and I've embraced it. A lot of it had to do with TF. I've heard so many of your stories here that inspired me and gave me hope in the moments I thought things would never get better. So thank you TF, I'm ever so grateful :hug:

I looked my difference as failure, but that same 'failure' became the foundation on which I rebuilt my life. Honestly, in the last year, I can't ever remember having a happier year than 2012. I've improved as a person, but most importantly I could live and breathe without feeling/caring for the heavy weight of judgement. I was finally able to let go and have fun and not care what other people think. I'm not the insecure and shy person I was when I started high school 2 years ago. I'm a much more positive person (apart from predicting Maria's matches :sobbing:).

My social and *love* :oh: life have improved a lot as well and so has my relationship with my parents. I managed to keep straight A-s in school, so all in all I can say 2012 was a good year, but hopefully 2013 will be been better :cheer:

Love you everyone :) :hug:

:yeah:

And what happenend to that one guy? :oh:

Fighterpova
Jan 4th, 2013, 04:23 PM
:yeah:

And what happenend to that one guy? :oh:

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meuc3lHkTd1qaqsz7.gif

joe87
Jan 4th, 2013, 04:52 PM
So that means he's your bf now? :cheer:

Fighterpova
Jan 4th, 2013, 04:56 PM
So that means he's your bf now? :cheer:

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkobx1eXQC1qhs6zy.gif

lefty24
Jan 4th, 2013, 06:16 PM
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkobx1eXQC1qhs6zy.gif

Yay congrats!! :bounce:

Fighterpova
Jan 4th, 2013, 06:48 PM
Yay congrats!! :bounce:

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_menxloEjsX1rfduvxo1_500.gif

rrfnpump
Jan 4th, 2013, 09:57 PM
It's time for you to make your coming-out.

I am out already.

That's cause you thought he was hot :oh:

:sobbing: How you know? Oh well, there is a reason why I am working in Japan now. :oh:

Gagsquet
Jan 4th, 2013, 10:10 PM
I am out already.

How did your family and friends take you are straight finally ?

Nicolás89
Jan 4th, 2013, 10:10 PM
That's cause you thought he was hot :oh:

I honestly :unsure: at this.

Dominic
Jan 5th, 2013, 03:01 AM
I honestly :unsure: at this.

huh!? :unsure:

:unsure: at you being :unsure: for no appearant reason.

Nicolás89
Jan 5th, 2013, 03:02 AM
Yeah it is completely normal to find hot characters from videogames. :lol:

Dominic
Jan 5th, 2013, 03:04 AM
Yeah it is completely normal to find hot characters from videogames. :lol:

Some characters are made to be good looking yeah :confused:
Nobody said had a premature ejaculation on his tv screen everytime he played him or anything bud.

McPie
Jan 5th, 2013, 05:32 AM
c'mon, everybody need their own fantasy :p

égalité
Jan 5th, 2013, 06:33 AM
The best ever was Sindel from Mortal Kombat though :hearts:

Sindel with her weave of destruction :hearts:

Dominic
Jan 5th, 2013, 06:41 AM
Sindel with her weave of destruction :hearts:

And her scream of terror :hearts:

Rerun
Jan 5th, 2013, 07:25 AM
Fighterpova I wanna know the story :hearts:

love happy endings :inlove:


and love Sindel too :hearts:

Flavia P.
Jan 5th, 2013, 12:52 PM
Some of these stories are really inspiring. Many straight folk don't understand just how courageous it is for anyone to come out these days, regardless of the circumstances, it's a very major step and a very big deal. Good to see many of you have awesome coming out stories.

I never really came out because it was pretty much too obvious, and I got caught with gay porn on my computer at 13, and I told my grandmother I like guys at 15, I got more or less outed at a party at 16, so it was never a secret :lol: I just lived as gay. I never actively hid it, I was never in the closet. In a way I'm sort of a lucky non-straight boy: I'm both masculine enough to not come off as "too gay" and thus offensive to the more neanderthal crowd, yet I've got enough fem in me where it's obvious I'm gay if you spend more than 20 minutes around me. So I've gotten spared a lot of the shit gay men who pass as straight and fem gays who are more "stereotypical" have had to deal with.

Dominic
Jan 5th, 2013, 03:44 PM
In a way I'm sort of a lucky non-straight boy: I'm both masculine enough to not come off as "too gay" and thus offensive to the more neanderthal crowd, yet I've got enough fem in me where it's obvious I'm gay if you spend more than 20 minutes around me. So I've gotten spared a lot of the shit gay men who pass as straight and fem gays who are more "stereotypical" have had to deal with.

Oh same here!

Flavia P.
Jan 5th, 2013, 07:11 PM
We're so much alike Dominic :lol:

plantman
Jan 5th, 2013, 07:53 PM
This thread took me back to one of my most favorite disco songs......

I'm Coming Out by Diana Ross

http://youtu.be/F-mjl63e0ms

Sammo
Jan 5th, 2013, 08:21 PM
^ Indeed, she's one of my favorite singers! That's actually my 2nd favourite from her, my fave is Upside Down.

Elwin.
Jan 11th, 2013, 10:47 AM
I DID IT :hysteric:
Finally told my parents and sister. Still have to tell my brother though because he's in NY.
Told them to sit down, almost broke down in tears. So i told it pretty fast. I said; i have something important to tell. I'm gay. I felt so nervous and awful, but they were totally supportive.
I actually don't know how i feel right now. I feel happy, but i also feel kinda sad. :sobbing:

Honestly, i don't know how i managed to tell it. It wasn't planned and i still wanted to wait for a while.
I feel so weird :sobbing:

9 days since i came out of the closet. I feel like i'm in an emotional rollercoaster since i came out
And damn, i still feel so weird. I kept crying like a little girl yesterday :sobbing: First time i cried since i came out of the closet. I've had some nasty reactions from friends, that has been really tough me.
I know everybody says it's a process and that things are going to get better. But it's double. The last 9 days have been the best of my life but also the worst days of my life at the same time :o I really want to accept myself for who i am, but it's killing me that i still don't feel happy :tears:
Everybody tells me that it's going to be fine eventually, but i just want this to end :hysteric: It's killing me. I'm not even able to work at school or sth, such a mess.

Kworb
Jan 11th, 2013, 11:00 AM
9 days since i came out of the closet.
And damn, i still feel so weird. I kept crying like a little girl yesterday :sobbing: First time i cried since i came out of the closet. I've had some nasty reactions from friends, that has been really tough me.
I know everybody says it's a process and that things are going to get better. But it's double. The last 9 days have been the best of my life but also the worst days of my life at the same time :o I really want to accept myself for who i am, but it's killing me that i still don't feel happy :tears:
Everybody tells me that it's going to be fine eventually, but i just want this to end :hysteric:

A bit surprised that some of your friends would have a problem with it. :o I don't know that many Dutch people in their 20s who are still that backward. But then again I live in the Randstad.

I don't think feeling happy is a switch you turn on. Or a state that even exists. Coming out was just the first step, eventually you get used to it, and you worry less, you think about it less. And that will make your life a lot more comfortable and unrestricted.

Flavia P.
Jan 11th, 2013, 01:56 PM
It's a process Elwin. You'll feel better eventually. The friends who reject you will either find it in themselves to improve as human beings, or you find new friends. You're emotionally vulnerable and insecure because you are in a place in your life you're not comfortable in yet. It WILL get better, I promise, but it takes time.

The whole friends thing is why I know never to associate with people I'm not sure would accept my orientation and I know my several gay friends were the same. You have to test the waters before you come out to avoid negative backlash. But even with that-----you have your family and your new boy. They love you and accept you. I'm sure not all of your friends have rejected you. And you'll make a lot more new friends now that you're out. Keep positive babe :D

Mikey.
Jan 11th, 2013, 02:31 PM
A bit surprised that some of your friends would have a problem with it. :o I don't know that many Dutch people in their 20s who are still that backward. But then again I live in the Randstad.

I don't think feeling happy is a switch you turn on. Or a state that even exists. Coming out was just the first step, eventually you get used to it, and you worry less, you think about it less. And that will make your life a lot more comfortable and unrestricted.

Definitely! There is that initial "weight off my shoulders" feeling which is just amazing but then after that there's the whole process of becoming more comfortable, as you say. So it takes a while but as long as you are surrounded by people who love and accept you for who you are, then it should eventually become much "easier" and the happier you will feel in yourself.

Dominic
Jan 11th, 2013, 05:28 PM
We're so much alike Dominic :lol:

:lol: I know

Dominic
Jan 11th, 2013, 05:31 PM
I kept crying like a little girl yesterday :sobbing: First time i cried since i came out of the closet. I've had some nasty reactions from friends, that has been really tough me.

Everybody tells me that it's going to be fine eventually, but i just want this to end :hysteric: It's killing me. I'm not even able to work at school or sth, such a mess.

Oh my what kind of reactions? That's really not cool. If any of my friends hadn't reacted well, I probably would have not wanted them as friends anymore..

Why? What's wrong? Cause you're too emotional? :[
Honestly, I know for sure it will get much better, but if we can help or give advice to make it easier during this process, I'm sure you would appreciate that.

égalité
Jan 11th, 2013, 05:56 PM
9 days since i came out of the closet. I feel like i'm in an emotional rollercoaster since i came out
And damn, i still feel so weird. I kept crying like a little girl yesterday :sobbing: First time i cried since i came out of the closet. I've had some nasty reactions from ex-friends, that has been really tough me.
I know everybody says it's a process and that things are going to get better. But it's double. The last 9 days have been the best of my life but also the worst days of my life at the same time :o I really want to accept myself for who i am, but it's killing me that i still don't feel happy :tears:
Everybody tells me that it's going to be fine eventually, but i just want this to end :hysteric: It's killing me. I'm not even able to work at school or sth, such a mess.

Fixed :cheer:

it does take time to figure out how you fit into the world. You'll find good people to surround yourself with and accept yourself more and more all the time. :D

Horcrux
Nov 30th, 2013, 10:58 PM
Nice thread. I totally understand how difficult coming out in Serbia is.

I'm 18 now and I came out to my best friend a few years ago and later to my other good friends and all of them were extremely supportive. Honestly, I have such a close bond with my best friends, they literally mean the world to me and weve been together our entire lives through the ups and downs and my best memories are with them.

The beginning of high school was awful. I was struggling with my sexuality and I was so insecure, scared and unhappy. I isolated myself from everyone and fell into a deep depression. Eventually though, I learned to accept myself and obviously my living friends contributed greatly to making me feel loved.

Then I met this awesome guy who was two years older and we fell in love and my whole world changed. I felt so alive, so happy. We were together for ten months and eventually he had to leave to go to uni in another city, so I ended it and was quite heartbroken for a while, but life got back to being great for a while....until 3 months ago.

I finally took the courage to come out to my parents, despite knowing their reaction. ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. They immediately sold my phone, ipad, laptop and took me to the police to have my laptop searched (the horror). I was then submitted to drug tests and STD tests, accused of being sick, deviant, evil, twisted, they said I was an abomination, that I destroyed their lives, that they hate me, that I will burn in hell and die of STDs and drugs.

They have given me until May to find another home and have put our house on sale. They said they wont pay for my uni and that they dont ever want to see me again once I move out. I never thought it would come to this and I thought despite everything they would at least not give up on me, but I guess I was wrong.

I was always a great student and I still am, I have such high ambitions career wise, but I wont be able to go to uni. At least not in a few years until I get a job and save up some money to move to Belgrade. Im keeping my options open though, because all of my friends are willing to let me live with them for free during uni, so Ill see. I wont give up on my dreams, not for my parents, not for anyone.

I wish them all the best and I hope they will find closure and peace. I wont judge them or hold a grudge against them, ever, however they failed at being parents. No question about it.

It hurts, it hurts so much and it will always hurt, but I have my whole life ahead of me andI keep moving on with a smile.

AdeyC
Nov 30th, 2013, 11:03 PM
It hurts, it hurts so much and it will always hurt, but I have my whole life ahead of me andI keep moving on with a smile.

:hug:

That's so sad to read - I can never understand why parents react that way.

Glad that you're moving on with a smile though :yeah:

Horcrux
Nov 30th, 2013, 11:09 PM
:hug:

That's so sad to read - I can never understand why parents react that way.

Glad that you're moving on with a smile though :yeah:

Thank you :) As Lana Del Rey says "Something love is not enough and the road gets tough."

Despite everything, my life moves on and it does not revolve around my parents, so Ill be ok.

rrfnpump
Nov 30th, 2013, 11:09 PM
Wow, it is terrible that your parents reacted like this. Sounds like in a stereotype Hollywood movie, but it's real...

But you can live freely now, you got that monkey off your back. And for sure, your parents will eventually miss you and will regret their behavior.

Good luck! :hug:

Horcrux
Nov 30th, 2013, 11:11 PM
Wow, it is terrible that your parents reacted like this. Sounds like in a stereotype Hollywood movie, but it's real...

But you can live freely now, you got that monkey off your back. And for sure, your parents will eventually miss you and will regret their behavior.

Good luck! :hug:

IKR? I thought those kinds of things and problems only happened in movies or tv shows, but Ive gotten the taste of how real life feels like. I'm definitely not a child anymore.

AdeyC
Nov 30th, 2013, 11:15 PM
IKR? I thought those kinds of things and problems only happened in movies or tv shows, but Ive gotten the taste of how real life feels like. I'm definitely not a child anymore.

Yes it's unbelievable.

Guess you have had to grow up - like rrfnpump says it's your parents who will regret it in the end.

ce
Dec 1st, 2013, 10:21 AM
Oh Lord... Where do you live now ?

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Javi.
Dec 1st, 2013, 11:25 AM
Nice thread. I totally understand how difficult coming out in Serbia is.

I'm 18 now and I came out to my best friend a few years ago and later to my other good friends and all of them were extremely supportive. Honestly, I have such a close bond with my best friends, they literally mean the world to me and weve been together our entire lives through the ups and downs and my best memories are with them.

The beginning of high school was awful. I was struggling with my sexuality and I was so insecure, scared and unhappy. I isolated myself from everyone and fell into a deep depression. Eventually though, I learned to accept myself and obviously my living friends contributed greatly to making me feel loved.

Then I met this awesome guy who was two years older and we fell in love and my whole world changed. I felt so alive, so happy. We were together for ten months and eventually he had to leave to go to uni in another city, so I ended it and was quite heartbroken for a while, but life got back to being great for a while....until 3 months ago.

I finally took the courage to come out to my parents, despite knowing their reaction. ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. They immediately sold my phone, ipad, laptop and took me to the police to have my laptop searched (the horror). I was then submitted to drug tests and STD tests, accused of being sick, deviant, evil, twisted, they said I was an abomination, that I destroyed their lives, that they hate me, that I will burn in hell and die of STDs and drugs.

They have given me until May to find another home and have put our house on sale. They said they wont pay for my uni and that they dont ever want to see me again once I move out. I never thought it would come to this and I thought despite everything they would at least not give up on me, but I guess I was wrong.

I was always a great student and I still am, I have such high ambitions career wise, but I wont be able to go to uni. At least not in a few years until I get a job and save up some money to move to Belgrade. Im keeping my options open though, because all of my friends are willing to let me live with them for free during uni, so Ill see. I wont give up on my dreams, not for my parents, not for anyone.

I wish them all the best and I hope they will find closure and peace. I wont judge them or hold a grudge against them, ever, however they failed at being parents. No question about it.

It hurts, it hurts so much and it will always hurt, but I have my whole life ahead of me andI keep moving on with a smile.

That was so sad to read. :sad: I can't believe they had that reaction.
They are your parents, they should love you no matter what.
:hug:
They'll regret it eventually. I'm sure.
Staying positive is a great thing to do. I'm sure you'll come through it.

MaSharp
Dec 1st, 2013, 12:12 PM
Omg, what a story! :( Sometimes I'm thinking how lucky am I to have supportive parents.

Be a fighter and never give up! Be you. Everything will be all right. =)

Potato
Dec 8th, 2013, 08:18 AM
It hurts, it hurts so much and it will always hurt, but I have my whole life ahead of me andI keep moving on with a smile.

You really inspire me, honestly. :hug:

Andy.
Dec 8th, 2013, 08:27 AM
Horcrux your story makes me feel so many different emotions. Its heart breaking but it also makes me so angry. I dont understand how people that supposedly used to love you can treat you like that. Beyond Shocking!!! I really want to wish you the very best and hope you can achieve what you set out too.