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skanky~skanketta
Dec 27th, 2011, 10:11 AM
http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/some-things-should-stay-in-the-closet-1.23942
Some things should stay in the closet

By Sajahan Abdul Waheed
NST assistant news editor | 0 comments (http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/some-things-should-stay-in-the-closet-1.23942#comment)




ZIP THE LIPS: We may want to practice absolute freedom but, remember, chaos and confusion would follow.

SOME things should just remain in the closet. Coming out and parading one’s sexual preference is just not cool. If it is a skeleton, then there is a place where it should be. It ought not to be dragged out openly for public viewing.
It just baffles me why, of late, some segments of the society are just so open about their sexual pref erences.
Maybe they think society is now more understanding and open with regard to sexual issues previously considered taboo.
But again, a question which arises is how open should we be. Even then, surely we should not bare ourselves naked in public. There is certainly a limit to everything.
This brings us to the case of 28-year-old former medical student Ariff Alfian Rosli, 28, who just has no qualms about exposing his sexual identity. He got “married” to a guy in Ireland and their “wedding” pictures were splashed all over the Internet.
One thing that he has either forgotten or is not bothered with is that whatever he does with his life would have an impact and bearing on others. He is not alone as he surely has a family.
He has also left his family in deep trouble as Petronas, which gave him an educational loan, has issued a summons to his parents, demanding the repayment of about RM890,000.
Why cause humiliation and embarrassment to your parents?
Then there was Seksualiti Merdeka recently, which wanted to promote freedom of sexuality and identity for lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders.
The organisers had no problems coming out in public and announcing to the whole world that there should be sexual freedom in the country.
It is true that we are living in a modern society but there should be limits to everything that we do in life. Don’t forget that we live in a multiracial society where culture and traditions are deeply entrenched.
Thus, why not just keep certain things in the closet?
Some might argue that by revealing his or her sexual preference, one is being true to himself or herself and is, thus, not being hypocritical.
But having said that, why not take a step further back?
We would then be able to see the consequences of our actions on loved ones, people who are part of our lives and our own families.
Can they accept the truth? Well, of course, there are those parents who have accepted their children for who they are. But again culture and religious sensitivities are is a big issue, especially in a our Malay Muslim-majority society.
Perhaps Ariff Alfian wanted to share his “excitement” as a newly- wed with the rest of the world. But is it necessary? Did he take a few minutes to consider how his mum’s heart would have broken into little pieces upon seeing the pictures of her son getting “married” to another man?
Or how his father would have to put up with stares and remarks from people in their community? Obviously, Ariff Alfian had little time to take all that into consideration.
To an extent, Malaysians are generally more accepting of those not like them these days. But again, one must never go over the limits. It is not wise to cross that boundary.
Is there a need for same-sex cou ples to go out holding hands or displaying their affection for each other in public?
People have largely been quite lenient and tolerant, but there is really no need to stretch their tolerance any further.
This is a very simple thing — if you feel that there are too many restrictions and Malaysian society cannot accept you for who you are, well, you should know what needs to be done.
That is what Seksualiti Merdeka organisers must realise. Freedom of expression has limits and if one were to practise absolute freedom, then chaos and confusion would rule.
Today, a section of society is ready to accept men who are dif ferent from most. Not just the homosexuals and transgenders but also metrosexuals who wear pink shirts to work and go for manicures, pedicures and facials, just like women.
There are also women who have no problems being best friends with homosexual men, who they tend to be able to share their per sonal problems with, including about on husbands or boyfriends, better. These women accept their friends for who they are and do not judge them.
That brings us to the question — why jeopardise society’s goodwill? Certain issues should be left where they belong — in the closet. Let it be that way.



Read more: Some things should stay in the closet - Columnist - New Straits Times (http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/some-things-should-stay-in-the-closet-1.23942#ixzz1hjSwZmsk) http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/some-things-should-stay-in-the-closet-1.23942#ixzz1hjSwZmsk


I found this online today and I figured it was worth discussing. Personally, I find it absolutely disgusting, but I'd like to know what the rest of you think.

Sammo
Dec 27th, 2011, 12:36 PM
Freedom of expression has limits

OK. Anything else to be said?


And uh... considering that parents are actually the cause of homosexuality and most of the factors of their childs' personalities... I dont think gay people should really care about what their parents think when they step out :shrug:

HippityHop
Dec 27th, 2011, 01:17 PM
Freedom of expression has limits

OK. Anything else to be said?


And uh... considering that parents are actually the cause of homosexuality and most of the factors of their childs' personalities... I dont think gay people should really care about what their parents think when they step out :shrug:

:eek: Got my popcorn and root beer. This gon' be good! :D

gentenaire
Dec 27th, 2011, 01:22 PM
Replace gays and lesbians in the article with blacks or muslims and you realise how narrow minded the article is.

HippityHop
Dec 27th, 2011, 01:27 PM
Replace gays and lesbians in the article with blacks or muslims and you realise how narrow minded the article is.

Equating Black and Muslims with being gay. I'm gonna need more popcorn and root beer. :D

Sammo
Dec 27th, 2011, 01:33 PM
:eek: Got my popcorn and root beer. This gon' be good! :D

Sorry the cause of homosexuality is a magic fairy that touches special children with her wand, how could I forget?

http://static.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/120372-bigthumbnail.jpg

Mattographer
Dec 27th, 2011, 01:35 PM
Freedom of expression has limits

OK. Anything else to be said?


And uh... considering that parents are actually the cause of homosexuality and most of the factors of their childs' personalities... I dont think gay people should really care about what their parents think when they step out :shrug:
http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvwh5iwP1w1r18jzmo1_250.gif

Sammo
Dec 27th, 2011, 02:04 PM
Hold on a second, whether if it's psychological or genetic, the parents are the cause of homosexuality. I mean who transfers the genes? And psychological: who raises you?

miffedmax
Dec 27th, 2011, 02:42 PM
What if this guy was straight and chose to marry a Christian or a Jew? I'm sure there'd be all sorts of lovely reaction from both sides on that one.

There's another old-fashioned custom that the author of this article ought to consider following. It's called minding your own damn bidness.

Lena's bangs.

Moveyourfeet
Dec 27th, 2011, 02:58 PM
What a trollish op-ed! :lol:.

http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/some-things-should-stay-in-the-closet-1.23942
Some things should stay in the closet

By Sajahan Abdul Waheed
NST assistant news editor | 0 comments (http://www.nst.com.my/opinion/columnist/some-things-should-stay-in-the-closet-1.23942#comment)




ZIP THE LIPS: We may want to practice absolute freedom but, remember, chaos and confusion would follow.

[LEFT]SOME things should just remain in the closet. Coming out and parading one’s sexual preference is just not cool.

Why?

[COLOR=#000000]This brings us to the case of 28-year-old former medical student Ariff Alfian Rosli, 28, who just has no qualms about exposing his sexual identity. He got “married” to a guy in Ireland and their “wedding” pictures were splashed all over the Internet.
One thing that he has either forgotten or is not bothered with is that whatever he does with his life would have an impact and bearing on others. He is not alone as he surely has a family.
He has also left his family in deep trouble as Petronas, which gave him an educational loan, has issued a summons to his parents, demanding the repayment of about RM890,000.

What the writer failed to mention is that Petronas revoked their loan because Ariff Rosli breached contract by failing to fulfil his academic obligations. It has no relevance to his homosexuality and hence there was no need for its mention in the paper.
Makes you wonder what the real motivation the writer has for putting this man on blast.

Then there was Seksualiti Merdeka recently, which wanted to promote freedom of sexuality and identity for lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders.
The organisers had no problems coming out in public and announcing to the whole world that there should be sexual freedom in the country.

Ok...

It is true that we are living in a modern society but there should be limits to everything that we do in life.

Ok...

[COLOR=#000000]Don’t forget that we live in a multiracial society where culture and traditions are deeply entrenched.

Ok...

Thus, why not just keep certain things in the closet?

:facepalm: What kind of argument is this? :help:

Some might argue that by revealing his or her sexual preference, one is being true to himself or herself and is, thus, not being hypocritical.
But having said that, why not take a step further back?
We would then be able to see the consequences of our actions on loved ones, people who are part of our lives and our own families.

Finally, a semblance of an argument appears.
This seems to be a reduction of individualism vs collectivism. Doing what you feel is in your own best interest (in this case, coming out) balanced against the expectation of family and society.
Newsflash: this is something most individuals go through at some point in their life, though to varying degrees. It's not exclusive to gays.

Perhaps Ariff Alfian wanted to share his “excitement” as a newly- wed with the rest of the world. But is it necessary? Did he take a few minutes to consider how his mum’s heart would have broken into little pieces upon seeing the pictures of her son getting “married” to another man?
Or how his father would have to put up with stares and remarks from people in their community? Obviously, Ariff Alfian had little time to take all that into consideration.

I really take exception to his naming of this Ariff person. He obviously has an axe to grind, but it is irresponsible of him to do so in this manner.
Part of growing up is realizing that your parents aren't always correct. You have to navigate the waters yourself, and chart your own course. Sometimes, parents will disagree with it, but they've had a chance to live theirs, and good parents will give you a chance to live yours. (This obviously excludes criminal behaviour).

Is there a need for same-sex cou ples to go out holding hands or displaying their affection for each other in public?
People have largely been quite lenient and tolerant, but there is really no need to stretch their tolerance any further.

Wow! I find this honesty refreshing lol. If only all sneaky homophobes would be like this and just get straight to the point.

This is a very simple thing — if you feel that there are too many restrictions and Malaysian society cannot accept you for who you are, well, you should know what needs to be done.

What? :confused:

That is what Seksualiti Merdeka organisers must realise. Freedom of expression has limits and if one were to practise absolute freedom, then chaos and confusion would rule.

What a fail. The writer concludes his article with the title claim that he didn't provide a shred of evidence for.

le bon vivant
Dec 27th, 2011, 03:35 PM
Drag him into the 21st century.

moby
Dec 27th, 2011, 03:48 PM
Coming from Malaygapore, this is indeed the sort of Op-Ed that passes in the national papers. It's a bit better in Singapore though. At least dissenters will write in to the forum.

Edit: Which perhaps they do in Malaysia, and the NST publishes. Do they?

Fighterpova
Dec 27th, 2011, 06:54 PM
Freedom of expression has limits

OK. Anything else to be said?


And uh... considering that parents are actually the cause of homosexuality and most of the factors of their childs' personalities... I dont think gay people should really care about what their parents think when they step out :shrug:
http://www.gifsforum.com/images/gif/pop%20corn/grand/84900769.gif

Sorry the cause of homosexuality is a magic fairy that touches special children with her wand, how could I forget?

http://static.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/120372-bigthumbnail.jpg
Ok not funny man :weirdo:
How would you like it if you were gay and you knew that you can never have kids :sad:

debby
Dec 27th, 2011, 08:09 PM
Sammo is such an ignorant troll... when he says he has a superiority complex because he is ten times better than most of people he knows, it makes me laugh...