Ok everyone. I spent 2 lessons of physics yesterday telling jokes like these. they are the ones that are so bad you just have to laugh at them.
Q- What do you get hanging from apple trees?
A- Sore arms!
Nov 9th, 2002, 01:21 PM
Q: Why do divers always jump in the water (from a small boat) with their back first?
A: if they jump forwards they end up in the boat.
Q: What is it? It hops in the woods carrying a machine gun.
Nov 9th, 2002, 01:53 PM
Good ones Tine. Am I right in thinking it's your birthday soon?
Nov 9th, 2002, 02:08 PM
*whispers* It's today
Nov 9th, 2002, 03:24 PM
Happy Birthday, Tine! :D :bounce:
and just not to be off-topic, here is a nerdy math joke:
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are shown a pasture with a herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest possible amount of fence.
The engineer is first. He herds the sheep into a circle and then puts the fence around them, declaring, "A circle will use the least fence for a given area, so this is the best solution."
The physicist is next. He creates a circular fence of infinite radius around the sheep, and then draws the fence tight around the herd, declaring, "This will give the smallest circular fence around the herd."
The mathematician is last. After giving the problem a little thought, he puts a small fence around himself and then declares, "I define myself to be on the outside."
Nov 10th, 2002, 06:52 PM
This is bit tasteless. Or then again might be truth.....
At the opening plenary of the WSSD in Johannesburg, delegations were
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The subsequent debate was a complete FIASCO and ended in deadlock.
The Africans did not know what "food" meant.
The Western Europeans did not know what "shortage" meant.
The Eastern Europeans did not know what "opinion" meant.
Delegates from the Middle East did not know what "solution" meant.
The Chinese did not know what "please" meant.
The South Americans did not know what "honest" meant.
And the United States did not know what "the rest of the world"
Nov 10th, 2002, 07:54 PM
Nov 10th, 2002, 07:59 PM
Sorry, the following joke only works in French.
Mobutu arrives at the airport of Brussels and several journalists want to interview him. One of them asks him: "Monsieur Mobutu, pourriez-vous dire quelque chose au micro?" Mobutu answers: "Bonjour micro."
Yes, it is a stupid joke but I'm always LMAO when I think of it.
You want another one?
After Mobutu gets rid of the journalists, he has to go to the counter to give his name, function and other basic information.
The guy at the counter asks him: "Name?" Mobutu: "Mobutu". Guy: "Profession?" Mobutu: "Chef d'état " Guy: "Diplôme?" Mobutu: "Plom"
(In case you don't understand the last one, say both the question and Mobutu's answer out loud)