View Full Version : McDonalds officials say sales are up after signing Williams sisters

Nov 3rd, 2002, 08:49 PM

Los Angeles, CA - Carrie Buns, western district sales manager for Mcdonalds, announced that burger sales have increased since the announcement that tennis super stars Venus and Serena Williams will be the new spokespersons for Mcdonald's new international sales promotions.

"Sales went up nearly 5% on the day of the announcement that Venus and Serena would be in our new company promotions", said a jubilant Buns. "Their impact is already much highe than we initially predicted," added a cheerful Buns.

Recently revealed, however, was the fact that most of the sales have been accredited to major sports franchises and college programs.
A source, who desired to remain unnamed, associated with a major Los angeles sports franchise informed the media that since it was discovered that Mcdonalds product were an essential part of the dietary regime for the two great Williams athletes, coaches have been trying to get more of the tasty burgers on the training tables.

many current WTA players are now beating a path to McDonalds in order to get some of the power from the burgers that the williams seemed to have acquired from the food.
"I need to do something to win a damn title," quipped Russian tennis star and model and she left a local Mcdonalds with singing sensation, Enrique Iglacias, who looked like a pack mule while carrying several large bags of the tasty burgers to a waiting limo.

Another tennis star was discovered buying the burgers to gain Williams like power dispite the fact that she wore a disguise that was applied by a makeup artist from the "Friends" TV program.
The Italian player's father asked that Jennifer's name not be released concerning this embarassing incident.


Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:02 PM
i got chicken nuggets friday and a milkshake sat.

Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:09 PM
Anton - Your tennis game should be improving very shortly after consuming those items. :)

Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:26 PM
I hear that the average American weighs in around the 37 stone mark...is that so? :)
USA USA USA! :) ;)

Just say no!


Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:28 PM
cute tee-rex sportslie i hope this ppl actually catch that

Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:31 PM
Lori Petty is a regular at the Hollywood Blvd. Mcdonalds, I hear. :p

Go to the good old British Isles and have some mutton parts stuffed in a sheep's gut. :eek:
Now, that must be a real tasty meal. :)

Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:36 PM
Nah, come to the British Isles and have Mcdonalds like everywhere else...there is no escape!

Lori Petty is a fellow Vegetarian Mr Rexx, which merely serves to heighten our compatibility/marriage prospects. :)

Britian is an increasingly tubby nation, but has a long way to go to keep up with Orca-style US standards. :)

Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:42 PM
I am sure the Williams sisters will draw the attention for the company....

But also, no company would admit to the public that they have a poor marketing team even if the effect was just very small.... ;)

Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:46 PM
Mr. Ba, I guess you are right. I can tell by just counting all of the British Wimbledon champs. :)
Yep, all you Brits are in great physical condition all right. LOL :p

Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:57 PM
Mr Rexx, do you wash yourself with a rag on a stick, or do your friends wash you down with a fire hose? :)

Mr Rexx. Probably.

Nov 3rd, 2002, 10:16 PM
Mr. Ba, here is a shot of me after I have just had a meal of those tasty, Williams endorsed, McDonalds burgers. :p


Oh, I use a small hand towel to bathe. :)

auntie janie
Nov 3rd, 2002, 10:21 PM
The US is indeed a country of fatties, regardless of how fast the Brits are catching up. Now people have really fat cars, too, that need supersize parking spaces to fit in. And they buy fat houses too, with 3,000 square feet for each person to wallow around in. It's all part of the same mentality: "MORE and BIGGER is BETTER". And it sucks.

auntie janie
Nov 3rd, 2002, 10:23 PM
LOL @ "CBSSportslie" ;)

Nov 3rd, 2002, 10:24 PM
Janie, are you fat and feeling sorry for yourself or something?
Go out and play some tennis, babe. :)

Nov 3rd, 2002, 10:40 PM
Whooo;;; BABY,TeeRexx .You look marverlous .Like a big mack.Or the Mack.LOrd lord lord.Is this really you.he TexRex is a hunk of a man.

Bright Red
Nov 3rd, 2002, 11:22 PM
You had me going, Mr. Rexx. I had to go back up and read the "source". Good one!

auntie janie
Nov 4th, 2002, 12:57 AM
LOL, No, Tee Rexx, I am not fat! Ask Rebecca, she met me (though I was wearing a baggy dress!) And I am a vegetarian! And a Tee Rexx fan.:)

But never a fan of McDonald's, or of the lifestyle of conspicuous consumption without regard for the environment or for what really constitutes a good life.

Nov 4th, 2002, 05:53 AM
Ok, Janie, I guess you are not fat, just real phat, eh? :)

Nov 4th, 2002, 10:10 AM
You have fans Mr Rexx??? Its a mad world all right... :eek: ;)


Take notice of the lamb! He's telling it like it is! :)

Nov 4th, 2002, 10:51 AM
Yummy, I would love to have some nice lamb chops to go with my McDonalds fries, Mr. Ba.

And make me some gloves and a cap out of that soft wool as well. :eek: :) LOL

Sam L
Nov 4th, 2002, 11:11 AM
TeeRexx, you wouldn't be laughing if another type of disease like foot&mouth reappears. Fortunately, Karma is a good thing, I see it everyday.

Nov 4th, 2002, 12:39 PM
SamL - There is already much foot & mouth disease on this board. :)

Anyway, I haven't time to talk because I have to finish my eggs, ham, lamb and steak breakfast and then go off to the daily underground cock fights. :eek: LOL

Nov 4th, 2002, 12:44 PM
Did you just say Cock Fights? Um okay I'll volunteer if you dont have a sparring partner yet. :-)

Nov 4th, 2002, 01:57 PM
Mr Rexx you are such a meathead. :)


The Cows say...
Leave us alone! Meat is Murder!

auntie janie
Nov 4th, 2002, 02:31 PM
LOL @ the meathead pic. :)

Nov 4th, 2002, 05:54 PM
Phoenix - Yeah, we get our cocks and put razors on them and let them fight.
Still want to spar? :eek: LOL

I will have a post cock fight barbeque party with steak, pork ribs, sausage links, chicken and hamburger patties.
Oh and salad. corn on the cob and baked neans.

Yumm, I love meat. :p

Nov 4th, 2002, 09:19 PM
Why am I not surprised Mr Rexx?

Lisa Simpson says...

Tee Rexx is a foolish flesh eater! A knucklehead!

"Lisa, I thought you lo-oo-oo--ved me"

Nov 4th, 2002, 10:28 PM
Gee, now poor Mr. Ba is relying on non existent cartoon characters to support his foolish abstanence from yummy meat. :)

Poor Mr. Ba.
Ba? Is this guy named after the language of sheep? ba ..ba LOL!!!

Crazy Canuck
Nov 5th, 2002, 06:44 AM
Oh yes, I can verify this - Janie is certaintly NOT fat. LOL @ that suggestion.

Tee Rexx, perhaps you should give your dying fat-dar a rest. It is clearly in need of a recharge.

Nov 5th, 2002, 11:06 AM
I'l have you know Mr Rexx that the Simpsons is only the greatest TV show that there ever was (Not American Gladiators as you may believe!), and that Lisa has always been the Simpson with brains.

You take more after school bully Nelson Muntz. :)

Nelson, once dated Lisa, before she knew better and ditched him. :)

Nov 5th, 2002, 01:49 PM
Another Simpsons character who may not exist. :eek:

So Mr Rexx shall you be voting today? Friend to big business, the meat industry, the 'Mcdonalds family' and closet Republican that you are.