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View Full Version : How long before it's a "relationship"? [at least vote.... please]


2009
Jun 4th, 2011, 09:40 AM
I would really appreciate your opinion.

Edit: I have little relationship experience and was wondering what is normal/typical/acceptable. Been seeing this guy for a month and he says he doesnt want to label anything, and he wants to get to know me. I feel like we know each other well enough, i certainly know that i like him and want to pursue something serious. I want to know whether hes just making this up just to string me along or whether hes genuine. Im especially wary because he has a previous reputation for being a player but he claims he's changed.

Also, what did people mean about 'dating'? For me, it's been seeing each other for dinner/hanging out about twice a week. And we usually text each other a few times each day (or chat online).

Kart
Jun 4th, 2011, 10:17 AM
Why are you asking the question ?

Sean.
Jun 4th, 2011, 11:49 AM
Good question, some people are really funny about it. For girls the 'girlfriend' label is a big thing sometimes. It's not time dependent though.

Just Do It
Jun 4th, 2011, 11:52 AM
For me it took like 6 months ...

Pump-it-UP
Jun 4th, 2011, 12:30 PM
2-3 months I think

Olórin
Jun 4th, 2011, 02:38 PM
There is no set time. Some people could get into a serious relationship in a week, others might take a year or more before they decide to make it "official".

Super Dave
Jun 6th, 2011, 02:28 PM
There is no set time. Some people could get into a serious relationship in a week, others might take a year or more before they decide to make it "official".

Exactly.

miffedmax
Jun 6th, 2011, 05:16 PM
Not to be indelicate, but (and this is also age/attitude dependent) there's the issue of sex. I hope I don't sound like a prude or anything, but in this day and age monagamy IS still a component of a safe sex lifestyle. You need to know where you stand just so you know what precautions you need to take. True for boys and girls, straights, gays and bis, young people and old geezers like me. (I actually saw an article on how one of the groups that's hardest hit with STDs these days is newly divorced people in their 30s and 40s because they assume they've been out of circulation and are "safe.")

Yeah, I probably come across as somebody's dad, but then I am.

Anyway, hope it works out, and even if it doesn't you almost always learn something from these experiences, about yourself and about life.

Miss Amor
Jun 6th, 2011, 05:34 PM
Depends on the individuals. For me and my partner it was after a couple 3-4 months of dating...it wasnt anything pre planned, it just happened.

2009
Jun 17th, 2011, 03:08 PM
bump! thanks for voting and your past experiences. really good to hear others' thoughts.

pov
Jun 17th, 2011, 10:51 PM
IMO:

- Seeing each other 2x/week and texting everyday is def dating. (I'm assuming there's some sparks happening)

- There's more involved than just the "how long." In fact, there is no set length of time.

- Know what you want but don't fixate on that, respect what he wants, communicate, stay open, and have fun. Getting to know each other and getting busy with each other can be enjoyable no matter what the level of commitment.

But yeah, player + "I don't want to label it" could go either way. I'd say keep it light and see if he makes the move to get more deeply involved.

Oh and in my experience, girls tend to want that commitment/exclusive type of relationship quicker than the fellas. Or they at least want to know what's up.

2009
Jun 19th, 2011, 08:47 AM
pov, what you've said is ideally what i'd like to do, but in practice, it's very frustrating to wait around and it's difficult to actually 'play it cool when you have strong feelings. but anyway i'll do as you've said and 'keep it light' and wait for him to make a move/initiate something deeper. however, what if he doesn't? should there be a certain point in time when i should bring up the issue? this is partly why i made the poll. or will bringing up 'the talk' scare him away?

Andy.
Jun 19th, 2011, 10:48 AM
Once you have 'the talk'

Fantasy Hero
Jun 19th, 2011, 10:25 PM
There is no set time. Some people could get into a serious relationship in a week, others might take a year or more before they decide to make it "official".

this :yeah:

Certinfy
Jun 20th, 2011, 12:40 AM
I've got into a 'relationship' in a week before and that ended up with me being with her for years.

So I guess it could be anything.