PDA

View Full Version : Masha's Doodle Part II -- Maria Breaks Out of Her Cage!! ... :devil:


LoveFifteen
Apr 24th, 2007, 06:04 AM
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a122/tennisfan1981/maria-1.jpg

NOT A GIRL, NOT YET A WOMAN ...

4/23/2007 11:26:00 AM

Well, Im finally allowed to pretend Im twenty! So exciting not to have to fake being a teenager anymore!

After getting my tetrahydrogestrinone cortisone shot, I hopped on a plane and flew back home. I had to start psychotherapy rehab to heal my damaged psyche sprained shoulder. That injury happened during the Australian Open final.

I've been trying to become more mature and independent now that Mom isn't around. I guess she got tired of pretending to keep her sham marriage together.

Anyways, I went to the grocery store where I bought some toilet paper. Nike's got me wearing this new low-cut dress for the clay season, and my endorsement contract stipulates that I stuff my bra. Sheryl Crow would chew me out if she knew how flat I really was. Sweet Mother Russia, I waste an entire tree each time I stuff!

Then I had to go to T-Mobile to start up this new Motorola Q9 I received. This is the first doodle I'm writing on this so please don't mind the spelling mistakes.....I'm not used to this teeny keyboard. Fortunately, your my fans so your always gonna forgive my functional illiteracy and remind people that "Maria's from Russia".

One of the best things about having this time off is actually being able to spend time in one place, which means getting to spend it with my agent a 'special someone' without having to have daily text conversations.

My birthday was so fun! It was almost as awesome as the third time I celebrated my "7th birthday". Mom and Dad even decided to fake it and appear together ... for some extra endorsement money. It was just like old times! :-)

I received amazing bouquets of flowers from my handlers and sponsors. I had about 15 people get together at one of my favorite restaurants in L.A and it was great to see most of my handlers close friends in one room.... which happens every time it's contractually obligated once in a blue moon.

Everyone has been asking how it feels to be 20. I laugh to myself and think: "The same way it's felt for the past 2 years!" But 22 doesn't feel any different. I got up, rang my bell, asked Papa Yuri to unlock my cage, went to the gym, came home, got berated by Papa Yuri, and got sent back to my cage without dinner. Papa won't let me out of my cage until I get my serve back. He says he has locked the door and forgotten the key.

Well, this doodle took way too long! I'm never doing it on this hand-held again even though it forces my haters to cut me some slack for being
"semi-literate Semi-pova". :sad:

============

4/25/2007 11:47 PM

Omigod, you guy! I'm totally "on the lamb" ... like a modern day Bunny and Clive! I managed to escape my cage today. I sent Papa Yuri a text this morning from my new Motorola Q9 (available at T-Mobile stores for $129.00 with two year service agreement!). So anyway, like, I typed a message to Papa Yuri that was, like, "Papka, my chest hurts! I had a dream about the Aust. Open final and I think I'm having a heart attack. Help!"

Then I laid down on the floor of my cage and played dead. It was pretty gross cuz, like, Papa Yuri only changes the newspaper once a week. Anyway, he burst into my cage and found me playing dead. When he bent over me to see if I was okay, I lunged up and bit him so hard that he passed out. I ran out of that cage and headed outside. I jumpped into my new LandRover (which comes fully loaded for just $64,900 at Hayes Auto) and took off! I was so awesome and brave -- not even Peter Bodo could have hated on me!

I started to think of a place where I could hide. I thought about calling my lawyer best friend from childhood, but I figured that's the first place Papa Yuri would look after he woke up. (And got stitches, of course. ROFL!)

I decided to call the saleslady at the Marc Jacobs outlet my second best friend. She didn't answer her cell fone! I was bummered!

ANyways, like, now I'm just sitting in my Land Rover in the mall parking lot. I got some fast food. I won't mention which fast food chain because those bastards don't deserve no free endorsement! Please!

Things are pretty boring here in the SUV, but fortunately I can check my e-mail on this Motorola Q9. I've gotten like 342 e-mails today from my number one fan, Dan23! I totally heart him! He's so great. He knows I totally beat myself at Miami this year. He rockz.

égalité
Apr 24th, 2007, 06:09 AM
Bahahahaha. :haha: :worship: Happy twentyseconteenth birthday, Masha!

alelysafina
Apr 24th, 2007, 07:10 AM
:lol: :lol: :lol:

:worship: :worship:

Hachiko
Apr 24th, 2007, 07:19 AM
Is that Camilla Belle on the left?

Edward.
Apr 24th, 2007, 07:40 AM
:weirdo:

Dan23
Apr 24th, 2007, 07:55 AM
http://www.wtaworld.com/forumdisplay.php?f=13

rockstar
Apr 24th, 2007, 08:41 AM
:haha:

NyCPsU
Apr 24th, 2007, 08:50 AM
:haha:

goldenlox
Apr 24th, 2007, 11:22 AM
Nice cake

http://www.sexysharapova.com/pics/mariasharapova_offcourt_2005_09.jpg

http://www.sexysharapova.com/pics/mariasharapova_offcourt_2005_15.jpg

Hashim.
Apr 24th, 2007, 11:28 AM
:lol:

stevos
Apr 24th, 2007, 01:37 PM
:spit:

Okay, yes as a Maria fan I'm supposed to hate it, but you have to admit, that was pretty amazing.
:haha:

stevos
Apr 24th, 2007, 01:38 PM
Sweet Mother Russia! :haha:

ioni
Apr 24th, 2007, 01:41 PM
:spit:

Okay, yes as a Maria fan I'm supposed to hate it, but you have to admit, that was pretty amazing.
:haha:

i know , i had the same reaction ! :o

Cam'ron Giles
Apr 24th, 2007, 02:24 PM
:haha:

urklerlay
Apr 24th, 2007, 03:40 PM
now that was funny!

hingis-seles
Apr 24th, 2007, 04:08 PM
That was funny. :lol: And I like Maria. Good stuff as always. :)

LoveFifteen
Apr 24th, 2007, 05:19 PM
:weirdo:

The cutest boy on WTA World thinks I'm a :retard: ...




:bigcry: :sobbing:

ioni
Apr 24th, 2007, 05:34 PM
The cutest boy on WTA World thinks I'm a :retard: ...




:bigcry: :sobbing:

just came and see the reactions to your doodle ? did you write it or a ghost writer did wrote it for you ? :lol:

Slutiana
Apr 24th, 2007, 05:46 PM
oh my god..i think i just broke my comp...i would advise anyone now to read this while drinking a drink or with a drink in their hand! LOL @ the 22 y o bit haha

LoveFifteen
Apr 24th, 2007, 06:23 PM
just came and see the reactions to your doodle ? did you write it or a ghost writer did wrote it for you ? :lol:

I did write it myself, and the grammarian in me was truly pained to write your instead of you're on purpose. :sad:

Craigy
Apr 24th, 2007, 06:26 PM
:spit: :o

umendo896
Apr 24th, 2007, 06:32 PM
Wow, someone's a little resentful.

LindsayRulz
Apr 24th, 2007, 06:57 PM
:haha:

LoveFifteen
Apr 24th, 2007, 07:37 PM
Wow, someone's a little resentful.

I feel sad for you because you don't like dark humor. :hug:

But I bet the casts of shows like The King of Queens and Reba are glad to count you among their fans!

Edward.
Apr 24th, 2007, 09:53 PM
The cutest boy on WTA World thinks I'm a :retard: ...




:bigcry: :sobbing:

Yep.

morningglory
Apr 24th, 2007, 10:15 PM
0-15 your writings are awesome and creative as always... I must bow to your skills...

stevos
Apr 24th, 2007, 10:24 PM
I feel sad for you because you don't like dark humor. :hug:

But I bet the casts of shows like The King of Queens and Reba are glad to count you among their fans!

Ohhhh! Bam! :eek: :worship:

King of Queens :o

champGS1452
Apr 24th, 2007, 11:15 PM
:haha: That was great. Some Maria fans should lighten up,it's all in good fun,I'm sure Maria herself would laugh at it :lol:

Denise4925
Apr 24th, 2007, 11:24 PM
Nice cake

http://www.sexysharapova.com/pics/mariasharapova_offcourt_2005_09.jpg

http://www.sexysharapova.com/pics/mariasharapova_offcourt_2005_15.jpg

:haha: That was too funny. BTW, isn't that the same cake she had last year?

Sam's Slave
Apr 24th, 2007, 11:28 PM
:haha: That was too funny. BTW, isn't that the same cake she had last year?

wasn't it the cake for her 18th birthday? anyway it's an old pic.

Derek.
Apr 24th, 2007, 11:34 PM
:spit:

hotandspicey
Apr 25th, 2007, 12:07 AM
:haha:

umendo896
Apr 25th, 2007, 12:27 AM
I feel sad for you because you don't like dark humor. :hug:

But I bet the casts of shows like The King of Queens and Reba are glad to count you among their fans!

wtf? :confused:

Polikarpov
Apr 25th, 2007, 07:53 AM
Haha! You're so funny Love-Fifteen!

Josh.
Apr 25th, 2007, 08:28 AM
:spit:
that was fantastic :)

janksta
Apr 25th, 2007, 08:46 AM
Nice cake

http://www.sexysharapova.com/pics/mariasharapova_offcourt_2005_09.jpg

http://www.sexysharapova.com/pics/mariasharapova_offcourt_2005_15.jpg



i love her choice of flag on her cake. GO RUSSIA!!

Dan23
Apr 25th, 2007, 10:14 AM
i love her choice of flag on her cake. GO RUSSIA!!you think she made the cake herself? :retard:


I'm sure Maria herself would laugh at it :lol:Very much doubt that...her sense of humour wouldnt dip to the depths that the thread starter wallows in

mankind
Apr 25th, 2007, 10:44 AM
i love her choice of flag on her cake. GO RUSSIA!!

And the inclusion of the Motorola sign as well. :lol: Gotta lbe good to the sponsors, even on special occasions.;)

goldenlox
Apr 25th, 2007, 12:22 PM
Very much doubt that...her sense of humour wouldnt dip to the depths that the thread starter wallows in
How would you know :rolleyes:
Maybe Maria enjoys insults. She brings her dad to every match

LoveFifteen
Apr 25th, 2007, 01:26 PM
How would you know :rolleyes:
Maybe Maria enjoys insults. She brings her dad to every match

*death*

Emina.
Apr 25th, 2007, 02:44 PM
How would you know :rolleyes:
Maybe Maria enjoys insults. She brings her dad to every match

Congrats! The best post so far.

`

Reiken
Apr 25th, 2007, 05:00 PM
:lol: :lol: :worship: :worship:

alias
Apr 25th, 2007, 06:27 PM
How would you know :rolleyes:
Maybe Maria enjoys insults. She brings her dad to every match

:worship: :lol:

slydevil6142
Apr 25th, 2007, 06:32 PM
By far the funniest thing Ive read on the board ever!!

jacobruiz
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:32 AM
And the inclusion of the Motorola sign as well. :lol: Gotta lbe good to the sponsors, even on special occasions.;)


The cake is from 2 years ago on Maria's 18th birthday. Goldenlocks just likes to include it in as many threads possible.

Maria had several birthday parties that year, and Motorola sponsored this one and had the cake made.

mankind
Apr 26th, 2007, 04:26 AM
The cake is from 2 years ago on Maria's 18th birthday. Goldenlocks just likes to include it in as many threads possible.

Maria had several birthday parties that year, and Motorola sponsored this one and had the cake made.

I know it's not recent, but that doesn't change anything.

LoveFifteen
Apr 26th, 2007, 05:20 AM
Maria updated her blog in the first post. :devil:

stevos
Apr 26th, 2007, 06:08 AM
"I jumpped into my new LandRover (which comes fully loaded for just $64,900 at Hayes Auto) and took off! I was so awesome and brave -- not even Peter Bodo could have hated on me!"


:haha: oh my goodness, this is amazing.
sorry maria, but it's too funny.

Tennisation
Apr 26th, 2007, 06:14 AM
How would you know :rolleyes:
Maybe Maria enjoys insults. She brings her dad to every match:haha: :haha: :haha:

Princeza
Apr 26th, 2007, 08:04 AM
NOT A GIRL, NOT YET A WOMAN ...

4/23/2007 11:26:00 AM


Everyone has been asking how it feels to be 20. I laugh to myself and think: "The same way it's felt for the past 2 years!" But 22 doesn't feel any different.

I started to think of a place where I could hide. I thought about calling my lawyer best friend from childhood, but I figured that's the first place Papa Yuri would look after he woke up. (And got stitches, of course. ROFL!)

I decided to call the saleslady at the Marc Jacobs outlet my second best friend. She didn't answer her cell fone! I was bummered!



:haha: :haha: :haha:
I'm big Masha fan but i have to admit these parts are too good.

Brooks.
Apr 26th, 2007, 08:42 AM
:haha: :haha: :worship: :worship: :spit:

Sefo
Apr 26th, 2007, 10:22 AM
Yea, I wish the escaping part would be damn true.

CORIA01
Apr 26th, 2007, 10:56 AM
Lol!

keirana332
Apr 26th, 2007, 11:33 AM
haha nice one :lol:

LoveFifteen
Apr 26th, 2007, 01:53 PM
P.S. I don't hate Maria. She's actually a really dedicated player, and that's to be respected.

auntie janie
Apr 26th, 2007, 01:58 PM
:lol: Great stuff. Haven't seen anything this funny & original on this board in years. :yeah:

Corswandt
Apr 26th, 2007, 02:17 PM
I was so awesome and brave -- not even Peter Bodo could have hated on me!

Gold.

.ivy.
Apr 26th, 2007, 03:04 PM
NOT A GIRL, NOT YET A WOMAN ...
Anyways, I went to the grocery store where I bought some toilet paper. Nike's got me wearing this new low-cut dress for the clay season, and my endorsement contract stipulates that I stuff my bra. Sheryl Crow would chew me out if she knew how flat I really was. Sweet Mother Russia, I waste an entire tree each time I stuff!

My birthday was so fun! It was almost as awesome as the third time I celebrated my "7th birthday". Mom and Dad even decided to fake it and appear together ... for some extra endorsement money. It was just like old times! :-)

Everyone has been asking how it feels to be 20. I laugh to myself and think: "The same way it's felt for the past 2 years!" But 22 doesn't feel any different. I got up, rang my bell, asked Papa Yuri to unlock my cage, went to the gym, came home, got berated by Papa Yuri, and got sent back to my cage without dinner. Papa won't let me out of my cage until I get my serve back. He says he has locked the door and forgotten the key.

============

4/25/2007 11:47 PM

Omigod, you guy! I'm totally "on the lamb" ... like a modern day Bunny and Clive! I managed to escape my cage today. I sent Papa Yuri a text this morning from my new Motorola Q9 (available at T-Mobile stores for $129.00 with two year service agreement!). So anyway, like, I typed a message to Papa Yuri that was, like, "Papka, my chest hurts! I had a dream about the Aust. Open final and I think I'm having a heart attack. Help!"

Then I laid down on the floor of my cage and played dead. It was pretty gross cuz, like, Papa Yuri only changes the newspaper once a week. Anyway, he burst into my cage and found me playing dead. When he bent over me to see if I was okay, I lunged up and bit him so hard that he passed out. I ran out of that cage and headed outside. I jumpped into my new LandRover (which comes fully loaded for just $64,900 at Hayes Auto) and took off! I was so awesome and brave -- not even Peter Bodo could have hated on me!

I started to think of a place where I could hide. I thought about calling my lawyer best friend from childhood, but I figured that's the first place Papa Yuri would look after he woke up. (And got stitches, of course. ROFL!)

I decided to call the saleslady at the Marc Jacobs outlet my second best friend. She didn't answer her cell fone! I was bummered!

ANyways, like, now I'm just sitting in my Land Rover in the mall parking lot. I got some fast food. I won't mention which fast food chain because those bastards don't deserve no free endorsement! Please!

Things are pretty boring here in the SUV, but fortunately I can check my e-mail on this Motorola Q9. I've gotten like 342 e-mails today from my number one fan, Dan23! I totally heart him! He's so great. He knows I totally beat myself at Miami this year. He rockz.

:haha: :haha: :haha: :bowdown: :bowdown:

Why is this the best thing ever? I love all the spelling errors and as well as the endorsements. It actually could be her. :p

Ferosh
Apr 26th, 2007, 03:36 PM
So anyway, like, I typed a message to Papa Yuri that was, like, "Papka, my chest hurts! I had a dream about the Aust. Open final and I think I'm having a heart attack. Help!"



:haha:

VishaalMaria
Apr 26th, 2007, 04:21 PM
I don't mean to be a party pooper but I dont get his "humour"; I don't really understand! :@

LoveFifteen
Apr 26th, 2007, 04:32 PM
I don't mean to be a party pooper but I dont get his "humour"; I don't really understand! :@

It's okay. Not everyone's humor is the same. :hug:

The world needs people with your sense of humor, too. Otherwise, who would read the comic strips Nancy, Cathy, and Peanuts? :hug:

Harju.
Apr 26th, 2007, 04:43 PM
:spit:
it keeps getting better!

VishaalMaria
Apr 26th, 2007, 05:22 PM
It's okay. Not everyone's humor is the same. :hug:

The world needs people with your sense of humor, too. Otherwise, who would read the comic strips Nancy, Cathy, and Peanuts? :hug:

I mean I do get some of it. And I hate to admit this but I have fell of my chair laughing at your "natural" avatars....but sometimes I'm like "what?" ;) :)


:D

Edward.
Apr 26th, 2007, 05:38 PM
Jon, I officially hate you.

The end.

VishaalMaria
Apr 26th, 2007, 05:39 PM
Who's Jon?!

Hashim.
Apr 26th, 2007, 05:50 PM
:haha:

LoveFifteen
Apr 26th, 2007, 06:56 PM
Jon, I officially hate you.

The end.

The feeling is mutual, Eddie! :ras:

stevos
Apr 26th, 2007, 08:53 PM
sennnnsitive. :unsure:

Peanuts = :yawn:

doni1212
Apr 27th, 2007, 09:08 PM
That was so funny! You have 2 write more!

ico4498
Apr 27th, 2007, 09:10 PM
Maria is so cute!

LoveFifteen
Apr 27th, 2007, 09:11 PM
That was so funny! You have 2 write more!

I dunno ... the other thread said that my attempts were "feeble" and "increasingly desperate". :sad: :sad: :sad:

stevos
Apr 27th, 2007, 09:19 PM
I dunno ... the other thread said that my attempts were "feeble" and "increasingly desperate". :sad: :sad: :sad:

get writing :armed:
or im reporting you for reposting that picture of me :sobbing:

!<blocparty>!
Apr 27th, 2007, 09:20 PM
Jon, can the next one be about Kim? :angel: She has a blog on her website.

You've got a hell of a lot of ammo for that one, too. Oh, and then a Petrova one.

nelsondan
Apr 27th, 2007, 11:25 PM
I don't see anything wrong or offensive----but you should compare what it takes for a busy famous person like maria to take the trouble to write these things and give us honest perspectives about her life, (unless you are one who does not believe she has much to do with writing them) with what it takes to use what she has written to come up with a clever parody.

There is value in a funny parody---there is value in what was used to inspire the parody.

+/-
Apr 28th, 2007, 02:11 AM
loves it