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tenisto
Apr 21st, 2007, 11:45 PM
40 MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN.....



1) NOT KISSING FIRST.

Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.



2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.

Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.



3) NOT SHAVING.

You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which your rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.



4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.

Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.



5) BITING HER NIPPLES.

Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy, isn't.



6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.

Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.



7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.

A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.



8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.

Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.



9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.

Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.



10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.

Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along

side of the clitoris.



11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.

Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.



12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.

Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.



13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.

Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.





14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.

Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior ofher vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.



15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.

You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.



16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.

Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.



17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.

A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks first.



18) GOING TOO FAST.

When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly,with clean, straight, regular thrusts.



19) GOING TOO HARD.

If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.



20) COMING TOO SOON.

Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.



21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.

It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.



22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.

You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask.



23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.

Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.



24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.

Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this.It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.



25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.

Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.



26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.

Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.



27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.

In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.



28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.

Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.



29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.



30) TAKING PICTURES.

When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.



31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.

Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.



32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.

There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.



33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.

If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.



34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.

Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.



35) GIVING LOVE BITES.

It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.



36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.

Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.



37) TALKING DIRTY.

It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know



38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.

You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.



39) SQUASHING HER.

Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.



40) THANKING HER.

Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

ico4498
Apr 22nd, 2007, 12:09 AM
not disputing any of the 40 points per se.

in my experience, women like different things, ask, stop, look, listen ... don't adhere religiously to any bbs material.

learn from the individual that bestows her favors!

cellophane
Apr 22nd, 2007, 12:11 AM
Sex with women. :scared:

MisterQ
Apr 22nd, 2007, 12:15 AM
Those contain some good advice --- and a few of them are pretty funny as well. :lol:

Marshmallow
Apr 22nd, 2007, 12:54 AM
That's a big old list of demands. *sign* For the straight men reading...

You won't get such an extensive list from guys, we know how all the machinery works. It's your pick, demands and moaning, or absolute ecstasy? Make the right choice ;)

miffedmax
Apr 22nd, 2007, 01:29 AM
That's probably good advice for most women. The problem is it's not good advice for all women.

I've yet to have any ahem "experiences" with women who were identical in what they did and didn't like. Actually, the variation has been pretty extreme.

Cage
Apr 22nd, 2007, 01:34 AM
:lol: At Number 39

Cat's Pajamas
Apr 22nd, 2007, 01:41 AM
that's hot.

wta_zuperfann
Apr 22nd, 2007, 06:25 AM
Pardon my ignorance but does any of this apply to lesbians as well?

drake3781
Apr 22nd, 2007, 06:33 AM
Pardon my ignorance but does any of this apply to lesbians as well?

Why do you ask? :confused:

CooCooCachoo
Apr 22nd, 2007, 07:21 AM
Uhm. Why forty mistakes?

There's just one mistake: having sex with women.

!<blocparty>!
Apr 22nd, 2007, 07:44 AM
:lol:

Pardon my ignorance but does any of this apply to lesbians as well?

I'm not sure. :shrug:

Yeah, aren't lesbians basically men with invisible dicks anyway?

Meteor Shower
Apr 22nd, 2007, 08:02 AM
1 Mistake Women Make While Having Sex With Men

1. Making a list of 40 mistakes men make while having sex.

LoveFifteen
Apr 22nd, 2007, 08:42 AM
26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.

Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

You can thrust and grab my head!!! :hearts: :drool: :hearts:

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.

In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

You can ejaculate all over me! :lick: :drool: :hearts:


29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

You don't have to ask LoveFifteen if you want to put it there. :D

CooCooCachoo
Apr 22nd, 2007, 09:37 AM
26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.

Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

You can thrust and grab my head!!! :hearts: :drool: :hearts:

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.

In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

You can ejaculate all over me! :lick: :drool: :hearts:


29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

You don't have to ask LoveFifteen if you want to put it there. :D

OMFG :spit: :spit: :spit:












it applies to me too :o

AH85
Apr 22nd, 2007, 09:52 AM
:lol: :lol: some of those have happened to me and i hate it when it happens

Kenny
Apr 22nd, 2007, 09:59 AM
That's a big old list of demands. *sign* For the straight men reading...

You won't get such an extensive list from guys, we know how all the machinery works. It's your pick, demands and moaning, or absolute ecstasy? Make the right choice ;)

your signature is so fucking awesome. It's some very hilarious shit, man!!

:tape: :help: :lol: :lol: :lol:

hectopascal
Apr 22nd, 2007, 10:00 AM
That is just hilarious!

Monica_Rules
Apr 22nd, 2007, 10:59 AM
LMAO! :lol:

This was so funny

chapel
Apr 22nd, 2007, 11:26 AM
34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.

Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

really? coz this chick i was with last night said she does. hm........

controlfreak
Apr 22nd, 2007, 12:10 PM
There are only 40 mistakes you can make? Wow, this sex thing just got way easier!

keirana332
Apr 22nd, 2007, 01:25 PM
ha i'm sending this to my boyfriend

mc8114
Apr 22nd, 2007, 04:14 PM
Those contain some good advice --- and a few of them are pretty funny as well. :lol: yes :lol:

That is just hilarious! Andy should take a look at # 4 (regards your avatar)

Steffica Greles
Apr 22nd, 2007, 05:43 PM
Bloody 'ell. By the time he's remembered all that he'll be so hesitant and unnatural that she'll get the worst shag she's ever had.

To some extent of course I can understand women's complaints; women have different bodies from men and have a right to want gratification if they're giving themselves so that their men can assuage their own carnal cravings.

But come on now, a man is a man, and if he was completely thoughtful and knowing, then he wouldn't be a man.

A man can come on me any time without asking. If I've decided to go to bed with him, then obviously I would want that. If he does it and I hadn't wanted his seed all over me, then it's my own stupid fault for not saying so. I like men who are spontaneous and who make me feel like I'm doing something for them; I'm less concerned about what they do for me.

Maybe that's because I'm a bitch.

No but some men you can sleep with, they'll make your body feel like gold, but you'll be bored to...tears. "Bored stiff" probably wouldn't work in this context. Some can be like cavemen, they'll throw you round the bedroom and make you feel like a piece of meat, but if you badly want that person -- maybe it's their pheromones, who knows -- then you're glad to fill that role.

I just want a guy to be himself and I'll decide whether it suits him, and in turn whether it suits me. I don't want to give him a list of instructions.

MyskinaManiac
Apr 22nd, 2007, 05:53 PM
Women... I mean honetly... pleasure yourselves or turn lesbian if you're not convinced that the job can't be performed better by a male.

Meh...what do I care, I just don't like anything that bleeds for a whole week out of every month and doesn't die.

IceSkaTennisFan
Apr 22nd, 2007, 06:23 PM
There should be one for wanting to watch porn while having sex. I once thought about wanting to do that, but it's not really fair to the other person unless they want to watch it, too. Still, it makes it less intimate.

MyskinaManiac
Apr 22nd, 2007, 06:30 PM
Porn is hot during sex.

Europe rocks
Apr 22nd, 2007, 08:20 PM
Someone had a lot of spare time on their hands :lol:

No Name Face
Apr 22nd, 2007, 09:43 PM
Let's see:

1) NOT KISSING FIRST. - guilty. making out is boring after a while, i hate kissing for more than three-four minutes. and i hate kissing during sex too. hate.
7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY. - guilty. i don't like feet. i nibble on the neck, but i dunno...i'll do anything else if she asks me to.
10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. - this is good to know. but it's not like i would punch it or anything. :o
14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA. - definitely guilty.
21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH. - sometimes guilty. i dunno what's wrong with me, it just stays hard for a long time and unless i masturbate after i can't come. but it's only happened three or four times ever, so i don't think it's a problem.
24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN. - guilty.
25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX. - sometimes guilty. it feels better if she swallows.
27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES. - not guilty, but i definitely laughed.
31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH. - i think i'm okay with this, but i'll admit that i'm probably pretty good in the sack (meaning i've gotten no complaints) but i don't really do much besides a few basic positions.
37) TALKING DIRTY. - i like talking dirty. i don't do it much with my girlfriend because she's a good girl. i do want to date a slutty girl with a foul mouth sometime. it'd be pretty hot. :o
38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. - eh...sometimes i don't care, but she says she almost always comes when we have sex so go me. during morning sex i don't care nearly as much because i'm thinking about food. :p

Crazy Canuck
Apr 22nd, 2007, 10:07 PM
21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.

It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

My ex could go for 2 hour and I lurved. WTF. Some people, so unappreciative...

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.

If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.


He did this too, and I lurved it. Maybe because I actually can bend in half?

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.

There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

Seriously. I think he did it by accident though, so I let it go.

Blonde_Ambition7
Apr 22nd, 2007, 10:25 PM
uhh

G1Player2
Apr 22nd, 2007, 10:28 PM
I hate these:
I don't mind these:

Blonde Ambition I am :speakles: You naughty little minx you. :devil:

Mforensic
Apr 22nd, 2007, 10:40 PM
I have not made these mistakes with my woman, which is one of the reeasons she agreed to marry me.;)

miffedmax
Apr 23rd, 2007, 01:49 AM
40 MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN.....




39) SQUASHING HER.

Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.





The writer is clearly discussing a premarital scenario.

LoveFifteen
Apr 23rd, 2007, 02:21 AM
The writer is clearly discussing a premarital scenario.

*DEATH*

:haha:

wta_zuperfann
Apr 23rd, 2007, 03:33 AM
Why do you ask? :confused:

Just asking .....

SJW
Apr 23rd, 2007, 04:40 AM
ROTFLMFAO SO TRUE. Hate hate HATE these:

1) NOT KISSING FIRST.

I don't understand why men don't want to spend a few minutes getting their woman worked up because there is nothing sexier than a good kisser.



5) BITING HER NIPPLES.

I will bitch slap you.


18) GOING TOO FAST.

It's not a sprint, but a marathon. Fast, unco-ordinated sex is horrible.



19) GOING TOO HARD.

Do this and you will no longer be allowed on top


22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.

You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask. (PREACH)


24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.

You first.


25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.

Yuck. Guys think they're slick by not telling you, so you just have to guess.

hdfb
Apr 23rd, 2007, 05:39 AM
Oh gosh. This is funny shit. :rolls:

chapel
Apr 23rd, 2007, 07:36 AM
considering that practically everything a guy loves to do during sex is in that list, how about we just ask the girl to play pool?

(re-read the list and i still won't accept it. sorry :))

wta_zuperfann
Apr 23rd, 2007, 11:38 AM
considering that practically everything a guy loves to do during sex is in that list, how about we just ask the girl to play pool?

(re-read the list and i still won't accept it. sorry :))


Yeah, I can see your point. For some reason, it's men who are said to be at fault and are held to be inadequate in straight relationships. Somebody tell me, why is is always men??

:confused:

DutchieGirl
Apr 23rd, 2007, 11:48 AM
:haha: :spit:

wta_zuperfann
Apr 23rd, 2007, 11:49 AM
... that's what I was thinking ... :)

DutchieGirl
Apr 23rd, 2007, 11:49 AM
Yeah, I can see your point. For some reason, it's men who are said to be at fault and are held to be inadequate in straight relationships. Somebody tell me, why is is always men??

:confused:

Because - it just is. ;)

wta_zuperfann
Apr 23rd, 2007, 11:50 AM
LOL ... I learned something there!

DutchieGirl
Apr 23rd, 2007, 11:51 AM
... that's what I was thinking ... :)

Well I thought it was pretty funny...but of course everyone is different so...(I mean in bed).

fifiricci
Apr 23rd, 2007, 11:53 AM
Take my word for it, the worst one is 17 :lol: . I was about as in lust with one particular ex boyfriend as it is possible for a woman to be - I was unhealthily besotted with him. But even he had the extremely unsexy habit of always taking his trousers and underpants off before his socks (and his glasses). Even if you are dripping with lust and anticipation, a man standing before you in all his glory with his socks and glasses on just doesn't make your heart go zing. :help:

miffedmax
Apr 23rd, 2007, 12:24 PM
Take my word for it, the worst one is 17 :lol: . I was about as in lust with one particular ex boyfriend as it is possible for a woman to be - I was unhealthily besotted with him. But even he had the extremely unsexy habit of always taking his trousers and underpants off before his socks (and his glasses). Even if you are dripping with lust and anticipation, a man standing before you in all his glory with his socks and glasses on just doesn't make your heart go zing. :help:

Yes, it is one of life's oddities that a guy in his underwear and socks looks like an idiot, but a woman standing there in panties and stockings looks hot. (panty hose, not so much.)

I'm thinking of coming up with a list of 40 things women to wrong. Maybe I'll get around to it.

This thread reminds me of a conversation I once had with a woman friend of mine who was commenting that the best thing about being a single woman was that when you went out, you already knew whether or not you were going to have sex that night.

My response was that yes, but if you're a guy going out you know if you get sex, you know you're going to enjoy it.

I think men's bar for what constitutes good sex is lower than women's, and that's why things are often blamed on us if it goes poorly. Of course, why settle for good if you can have great? Great takes some effort on both parties part. I suspect that's true for gay couples, too.

MistyGrey
Apr 23rd, 2007, 05:13 PM
:haha::haha::spit:

stevos
Apr 23rd, 2007, 08:05 PM
I'm worried I'm going to eff it all up now. :scared:
Are they really this picky? And some kind of contradict the other.

I think you should just do what you do, and if it works, it works.

miffedmax
Apr 23rd, 2007, 08:17 PM
Really, a better title would have been 40 mistakes men have made when having sex with one particular woman.

'cause like I said, and other posters have pointed out, there's a lot of stuff on that list that some women like, and some stuff that some women don't like that's missing.

ampers&
Apr 23rd, 2007, 08:17 PM
I'm worried I'm going to eff it all up now. :scared:
Are they really this picky? And some kind of contradict the other.

I think you should just do what you do, and if it works, it works.
Naw, this list doesn't apply to all women. Some of those things only apply to specific women. You'll learn to please the women you're with by paying attention to what turns her on. You can pretty much do that by watching her reactions while fucking her and I can assure you that almost every woman will be different.

But a few are universal:
9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.

20) COMING TOO SOON.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.Never, ever do those. EVER.

stevos
Apr 23rd, 2007, 09:05 PM
thanks for the tips :yeah:

I won't I hope. the nudge on the head I never though a woman would like :lol:

miffedmax
Apr 23rd, 2007, 09:28 PM
Even the head nudge isn't universally disliked. But I wouldn't try it until I had a pretty good idea of what she is and isn't in to.

(It's a bad thing when you're first is really, really into that move--took me a while to unlearn that one.)

stevos
Apr 23rd, 2007, 09:30 PM
:lol: right, got it.
umm, can we have that list of the 40 things women do wrong, max? i'm anxious.

Mforensic
Apr 23rd, 2007, 10:34 PM
The writer is clearly discussing a premarital scenario.

Duhhhh.............:rolleyes:

chapel
Apr 24th, 2007, 12:38 PM
Yes, it is one of life's oddities that a guy in his underwear and socks looks like an idiot, but a woman standing there in panties and stockings looks hot. (panty hose, not so much.)

I'm thinking of coming up with a list of 40 things women to wrong. Maybe I'll get around to it.

This thread reminds me of a conversation I once had with a woman friend of mine who was commenting that the best thing about being a single woman was that when you went out, you already knew whether or not you were going to have sex that night.

My response was that yes, but if you're a guy going out you know if you get sex, you know you're going to enjoy it.

I think men's bar for what constitutes good sex is lower than women's, and that's why things are often blamed on us if it goes poorly. Of course, why settle for good if you can have great? Great takes some effort on both parties part. I suspect that's true for gay couples, too.

i doubt you can come up with 40 mistakes women do coz like you said, men are easier to satisfy when it comes to sex. i think women can only do wrong in 5 ways.
1. for sucking the wrong part of the body / not sucking enough
2. for forgetting to shave
3. for not being flexible enough
4. for having a man's grip
5. for putting on justin timberlake or any latin guy singer on the background

mandy7
Apr 24th, 2007, 12:43 PM
i doubt you can come up with 40 mistakes women do coz like you said, men are easier to satisfy when it comes to sex. i think women can only do wrong in 5 ways.
1. for sucking the wrong part of the body / not sucking enough
2. for forgetting to shave
3. for not being flexible enough
4. for having a man's grip
5. for putting on justin timberlake or any latin guy singer on the background

or with your past

6: for having lots of cats walking around the appartment

:bolt:

DutchieGirl
Apr 24th, 2007, 12:49 PM
i doubt you can come up with 40 mistakes women do coz like you said, men are easier to satisfy when it comes to sex. i think women can only do wrong in 5 ways.
1. for sucking the wrong part of the body / not sucking enough
2. for forgetting to shave
3. for not being flexible enough
4. for having a man's grip
5. for putting on justin timberlake or any latin guy singer on the background

Why do women have to be the flexible ones? And hey, if men don't shave, why do women HAVE to? :p What if they choose not to completely shave down there? :p

chapel
Apr 24th, 2007, 12:50 PM
or with your past

6: for having lots of cats walking around the appartment

:bolt:
shut up! im still a virgin.

mandy7
Apr 24th, 2007, 12:53 PM
Why do women have to be the flexible ones? And hey, if men don't shave, why do women HAVE to? :p What if they choose not to completely shave down there? :p
oh honey, girls need to shave, always, god knows i do
hair freaks me out
but, yeah, guys should def. keep it trimmed

shut up! im still a virgin.
haha, you're so not!

DutchieGirl
Apr 24th, 2007, 12:55 PM
oh honey, girls need to shave, always, god knows i do
hair freaks me out
but, yeah, guys should def. keep it trimmed



I wasn't advocating doing nothing "down there" (I specifically mentioned "down there" :p ). But where is the pre-requisite that you HAVE to shave down there for good sex? :lol:

mandy7
Apr 24th, 2007, 12:57 PM
I wasn't advocating doing nothing "down there" (I specifically mentioned "down there" :p ). But where is the pre-requisite that you HAVE to shave for good sex? :lol:

well, i know i ain't doing anything with the unshaven
so that means the hairy, will not get (good) sex :p

Hagar
Apr 24th, 2007, 12:58 PM
Sex with women. :scared:

Well, if your father wouldn't have had such sex, you wouldn't be.

chapel
Apr 24th, 2007, 12:59 PM
Why do women have to be the flexible ones?
can't come up with a wholesome, clean cut, GP answer to this one so i'll just skip it. heh
And hey, if men don't shave, why do women HAVE to? :p What if they choose not to completely shave down there? :p
what if they don't shave down there? then they won't get any. ....by the way, very appropriate topic as im eating donuts right now. thanks :)

DutchieGirl
Apr 24th, 2007, 01:02 PM
can't come up with a wholesome, clean cut, GP answer to this one so i'll just skip it. heh

what if they don't shave down there? then they won't get any. ....by the way, very appropriate topic as im eating donuts right now. thanks :)

some guys don't mind hair down there. I'm not talking about a forest, but I mean, you can just trim. WOmen didn't used to shave down there in the past, and hey, the population kept growing around the world. :p

DutchieGirl
Apr 24th, 2007, 01:03 PM
well, i know i ain't doing anything with the unshaven
so that means the hairy, will not get (good) sex :p

You're female...this was supposedly about what guy's don't like. :p And you aren't the only one who can give good sex love. :p

mandy7
Apr 24th, 2007, 01:05 PM
You're female...this was supposedly about what guy's don't like. :p And you aren't the only one who can give good sex love. :p
still, guys don't like a forest either, and those who do
i have never and will never hook up with :p

DutchieGirl
Apr 24th, 2007, 01:09 PM
still, guys don't like a forest either, and those who do
i have never and will never hook up with :p

:lol: Did you read what I said? I said that I wasn't advocating doing nothing, but I don't see why you should have to shave it all...you can trim still, and it's not a forest. :p

mandy7
Apr 24th, 2007, 01:10 PM
:lol: Did you read what I said? I said that I wasn't advocating doing nothing, but I don't see why you should have to shave it all...you can trim still, and it's not a forest. :p

yeah, i did, and i'm not saying you're pro-forest :p

chapel
Apr 24th, 2007, 01:15 PM
some guys don't mind hair down there. I'm not talking about a forest, but I mean, you can just trim. WOmen didn't used to shave down there in the past, and hey, the population kept growing around the world. :p
a little hair is okay. but if more than that, she can't expect to have good sex with that bush getting in the way.

miffedmax
Apr 24th, 2007, 02:47 PM
i doubt you can come up with 40 mistakes women do coz like you said, men are easier to satisfy when it comes to sex. i think women can only do wrong in 5 ways.
1. for sucking the wrong part of the body / not sucking enough
2. for forgetting to shave
3. for not being flexible enough
4. for having a man's grip
5. for putting on justin timberlake or any latin guy singer on the background

Here are a few of mine:

Blaming us when it isn't great (we may make mistakes, but it still takes two to tango).

Not making time for sex

Bringing your insecurities about your body to bed (really, if we're trying to get inside your panties we think your looks are just FINE); let us see you naked and not in the granny nightie. (hanging around nude after sex also significantly increases your chances of being cuddled, BTW). (Also, this may apply more to American women of my generation and older).

Using sex as a reward/punishment. Not condusive to a healthy relationship.

Thinking that "it's just sex" or that sex is all we want. Okay, sometimes it is. But there's a reason "intercourse" means both conversation and sexual relations. Sex is the most intimate kind of communication there is.

Call a spade and spade and a body part a body part. You don't have to sound like a Penthouse forum letter, but constant use of phrases such as "Like when we're , you know" and "uh, down there" are kind of goofy.

MyskinaManiac
Apr 24th, 2007, 03:02 PM
Here are a few of mine:

Using sex as a reward/punishment. Not condusive to a healthy relationship.



Couldn't agree more


Thinking that "it's just sex"... Sex is the most intimate kind of communication there is



That made me think alot about my current mind-set in regards to random hook-ups. Moreover, do I want to intimately communicate with anyone?

miffedmax
Apr 24th, 2007, 03:52 PM
Couldn't agree more



That made me think alot about my current mind-set in regards to random hook-ups. Moreover, do I want to intimately communicate with anyone?

Well, sometimes sex is just sex, and that's okay too. ;)

Barrie_Dude
Apr 24th, 2007, 03:57 PM
Sex with women. :scared:
Yes!:drool: :drool:

ToeTag
Apr 24th, 2007, 04:06 PM
Sex with women. :scared:

You really are Bryan Lynch!

wta_zuperfann
Apr 24th, 2007, 04:33 PM
... like I said, and other posters have pointed out, there's a lot of stuff on that list that some women like, and some stuff that some women don't like that's missing.

It appears that men often get blamed exclusively for the problems between men and women. Or maybe I'm reading it that way.

When I was a teen I never got any dates because of the terrible acne problem that plagued me. One day my mother said to me "not to worry, even if you don't get any dates today, when you get older women will always love you because you are a 'nice guy'. Teenaged girls are too immature to see that acne is just a medical condition, not a sign of bad character. But women are far more mature and they will see through the problem and love you. Women do not care for money or good looks, all they care about is good character. And you have plenty of that. In fact, because you are such a nice guy, you will have so many women you won't know what to do with all of them!"

Well, my mother was correct in one respect -- women did often call me 'nice guy'. But that never meant dates or romance for me. It turned out that I attracted very few women in my life as most women prefer "macho" types. In fact, most of the 'nice guys' whom I have known tell similar stories.

When it comes to dates and romance, more often than not, 'nice guys' finish last. This might generate a few laughs to some but to me and the like it ain't so funny.

ToeTag
Apr 24th, 2007, 05:04 PM
This site, and opinions might be of some help to you Zuperfann.
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml

wta_zuperfann
Apr 24th, 2007, 05:15 PM
That reminds me of a gal I knew who rejected me in favor a "macho man". He drank like hell and proceeded to kick her ass around the block repeatedly. I would venture to guess that she had a certain amount of misgivings thereafter.

DutchieGirl
Apr 24th, 2007, 11:34 PM
a little hair is okay. but if more than that, she can't expect to have good sex with that bush getting in the way.

Then the same should apply to guys!

chapel
Apr 25th, 2007, 12:33 PM
Then the same should apply to guys!
okay, this is making me laugh. um...........yeah, i guess guys have to trim down there too. im not too sure if there are dudes who shave it all off but i think its really weird. oh, and guys don't have to shave their legs and armpits. girls do. hair in those parts of the body is so very unsexy in my opinion.

Apoleb
Apr 25th, 2007, 12:35 PM
It appears that men often get blamed exclusively for the problems between men and women. Or maybe I'm reading it that way.

When I was a teen I never got any dates because of the terrible acne problem that plagued me. One day my mother said to me "not to worry, even if you don't get any dates today, when you get older women will always love you because you are a 'nice guy'. Teenaged girls are too immature to see that acne is just a medical condition, not a sign of bad character. But women are far more mature and they will see through the problem and love you. Women do not care for money or good looks, all they care about is good character. And you have plenty of that. In fact, because you are such a nice guy, you will have so many women you won't know what to do with all of them!"

Well, my mother was correct in one respect -- women did often call me 'nice guy'. But that never meant dates or romance for me. It turned out that I attracted very few women in my life as most women prefer "macho" types. In fact, most of the 'nice guys' whom I have known tell similar stories.

When it comes to dates and romance, more often than not, 'nice guys' finish last. This might generate a few laughs to some but to me and the like it ain't so funny.

:awww:

wta_zuperfann
Apr 25th, 2007, 12:46 PM
... yup.

I knew of another 'nice guy' whose girl friend rejected him for a 'macho man'. Her decision proved to be quite fateful. After what he did to her the court ruled that he would serve as guest of the Department of Correction for something like a 20 year stretch. I'll leave it to your imagination as to what was her unhappy fate.

DutchieGirl
Apr 25th, 2007, 12:47 PM
okay, this is making me laugh. um...........yeah, i guess guys have to trim down there too. im not too sure if there are dudes who shave it all off but i think its really weird. oh, and guys don't have to shave their legs and armpits. girls do. hair in those parts of the body is so very unsexy in my opinion.

And if girls do, then why don't guys have to? I don't find guys with gorilla hairy arms sexy either!

MyskinaManiac
Apr 25th, 2007, 12:52 PM
And if girls do, then why don't guys have to? I don't find guys with gorilla hairy arms sexy either!

Amen girlfriend! I hate hairy bears... I mean... ew, just thinking about... *barf*

Hair is ok in the right places... too much of it is a major turn off. In relation to girls, I'm not sure I'd find it too easy on the eyes to see a massive bush of hair in the general region of her moot. Likewise for men.

chapel
Apr 25th, 2007, 12:55 PM
And if girls do, then why don't guys have to? I don't find guys with gorilla hairy arms sexy either!
i give up coz im not hairy and this isn't my concern anymore. go ask some guy who resembles your living room rug. ..............sorry

Kunal
Apr 25th, 2007, 01:18 PM
lol!!!

Serena-rules-no1
Apr 25th, 2007, 03:54 PM
what a big pile of shit

canoe.
Apr 25th, 2007, 04:41 PM
wta_zuperfann, you seem to know a lot of the criminal element. You also sound like a mamas boy whiner...that might be a reason you're not too popular with women.

MyskinaManiac
Apr 25th, 2007, 04:56 PM
Perhaps he still lives at home, bakes cakes and watches "The Young and The Restless" in an effort to gain a certain amount of attention from the only female he can... his mother.

stevos
Apr 25th, 2007, 07:48 PM
I'm a nice guy, and girls like me. :shrug: I'm not saying that in a cocky way, because it's not like EVERY girl is on me, but there's definitely enough. ;)

With regards to shaving, I think shaved would be best, but I could deal with some there. I'm worried my wife won't want to shave. :scared:

wta_zuperfann
Apr 25th, 2007, 07:54 PM
Perhaps he still lives at home, bakes cakes and watches "The Young and The Restless" in an effort to gain a certain amount of attention from the only female he can... his mother.


Nope. Mom passed away of natural causes a long time ago.

I'm well into my 50s, live alone, and am a very good cook.

The gal I was referencing above did not live to see her 25th birthday and that's why her hubby was sent up the river. He should be out on parole by now in case you're interested.

MyskinaManiac
Apr 25th, 2007, 08:06 PM
That's horrible... Im sorry to hear that.

stevos
Apr 25th, 2007, 09:20 PM
That's horrible... Im sorry to hear that.

maybe you shouldn't make idiotic, insensitive comments before you know anything about someone. why did you have any reason to say the other bit anyway.

you really are a crappy person.

meyerpl
Apr 25th, 2007, 09:56 PM
When I have sex with a woman, there's only enough time for me to make four or five of those mistakes before it's all over.......six on a good day.

MisterQ
Apr 25th, 2007, 10:11 PM
I'm a nice guy, and girls like me. :shrug: I'm not saying that in a cocky way, because it's not like EVERY girl is on me, but there's definitely enough. ;)

With regards to shaving, I think shaved would be best, but I could deal with some there. I'm worried my wife won't want to shave. :scared:

You could always give her a sensual Nair massage... :silly:

DutchieGirl
Apr 26th, 2007, 11:55 AM
i give up coz im not hairy and this isn't my concern anymore. go ask some guy who resembles your living room rug. ..............sorry

erm a. WTF?
b. I have polished floor board idiot, so that would mean NO HAIR
c. All I'm saying is that if girls should shave, then so should guys!

mandy7
Apr 26th, 2007, 11:57 AM
erm a. WTF?
b. I have polished floor board idiot, so that would mean NO HAIR
c. All I'm saying is that if girls should shave, then so should guys!

b) He's not an idiot cause he doesn't know what you have on your floor.
c) Since he's not hairy, he probably agrees, so chill.
d) he's not an idiot. period.

fifiricci
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:03 PM
Before I start, just to make clear that my orientation is female heterosexual (thus avoiding any potential misunderstandings later on :scared: ).

Totally shaved blokes are a big turn off in my opinion, but I might be biased by a recent and bizarre sexual experience involving, for the first time in my life, a guy who was completely shaved from head to toe.

Totally hairy blokes are an equally big turn off (you know, when they look like a neolithic man drawing, man just after he emerged from the ape phase).

In my book, hairy arms, armpits (to an extent), stomachs and legs are fine. But hairy backs, bumcheeks and necks are a massive turn off and only excusable in very very exceptional cases :help:

As for myself, I would be horrified if a man asked me NOT to shave. Hirsutism is definitely not for me, call me a slave to fashion or custom if you like, I care not a jot. I only intend to stop shaving/waxing it all off when I am too old and senile to do it myself or issue the instructions to someone else. :D

DutchieGirl
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:07 PM
b) He's not an idiot cause he doesn't know what you have on your floor.
c) Since he's not hairy, he probably agrees, so chill.
d) he's not an idiot. period.

He is an idiot because he can't seem to understand what I am saying... that if girls should shave, then so should men. I never said girls SHOULDN'T shave. And you telling me he isn't an idiot is hardly gonna make me think that. Oh, and as he doesn't have any clue what I have on my floor, then he shouldn't make some stupid comment about it.

mandy7
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:09 PM
Well, i've known him for about 4 years now
and he ain't an idiot.

DutchieGirl
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:12 PM
As for myself, I would be horrified if a man asked me NOT to shave. Hirsutism is definitely not for me, call me a slave to fashion or custom if you like, I care not a jot. I only intend to stop shaving/waxing it all off when I am too old and senile to do it myself or issue the instructions to someone else. :D

That's fine, and it's your decision, but I don't see why ALL girls should HAVE TO shave everything. :p

DutchieGirl
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:15 PM
Well, i've known him for about 4 years now
and he ain't an idiot.

That's your opinion, not mine.

chapel
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:33 PM
erm a. WTF?
b. I have polished floor board idiot, so that would mean NO HAIR
c. All I'm saying is that if girls should shave, then so should guys!
okay, so apparently i don't have a good command of the english language. thank you for pointing that out. :) anyway, bygones if you didn't get my post. (i wouldn't even bother explaining it coz it's supposed to be a joke. and explaining a joke is just dorky.) ima just skip this this one eh?


oh, and mandy, :hug:. thanks. hehe......... but i can take it. im a big boy now eh!

mandy7
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:35 PM
oh, and mandy, :hug:. thanks. hehe......... but i can take it. im a big boy now eh!
well, i wouldn't say big, but, whatever mikey :p

miffedmax
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:38 PM
When I have sex with a woman, there's only enough time for me to make four or five of those mistakes before it's all over.......six on a good day.

You're married, of if you're having sex at all you're way ahead of the game.

chapel
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:45 PM
well, i wouldn't say big, but, whatever mikey :p
okay, i take back my previous post. i hate you and my ex. *runs to the corner to nurse my pride*


on topic........

You're married, of if you're having sex at all you're way ahead of the game.
okay, someday someone has to explain to me why married couples have sex less. i mean if they're in their 40's they can still go at it, right? makes me not wana get married.

mandy7
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:46 PM
okay, i take back my previous post. i hate you and my ex. *runs to the corner to nurse my pride*
awww :hug:


in topic........

okay, someday someone has to explain to me why married couples have sex less. i mean if they're in their 40's they can still go at it, right? makes me not wana get married.
i dunno, but i'm sure my parents only had sex TWICE!
:p

chapel
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:52 PM
awww :hug:
don't do that. you can only trample on my dignity in private. dammit, woman!



i dunno, but i'm sure my parents only had sex TWICE!
:p
twice? i was told you're adopted :confused:


and, mandy! stop being off topic! sheesh!

miffedmax
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:54 PM
okay, i take back my previous post. i hate you and my ex. *runs to the corner to nurse my pride*


on topic........


okay, someday someone has to explain to me why married couples have sex less. i mean if they're in their 40's they can still go at it, right? makes me not wana get married.

It's just a stereotype.

I'm just giving meyerpl shit. We kid each other a lot.

saki
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:55 PM
Unusually for generalising articles, those tips are pretty good. Obviously they won't work for every woman but they are a decent starting point for a guy before he has the chance to ask her what she likes.

Oh, and pubic hair on women is certainly not disgusting to everyone. Plenty of men like it - it's a secondary sexual characteristic, after all, we're wired to like it.

DutchieGirl
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:56 PM
okay, so apparently i don't have a good command of the english language. thank you for pointing that out. :) anyway, bygones if you didn't get my post. (i wouldn't even bother explaining it coz it's supposed to be a joke. and explaining a joke is just dorky.) ima just skip this this one eh?


erm I didn't say ANYTHING about your English, and joke? Well usually people make it obvious when it's meant to be a joke. Sorry, I didn't find that funny. It just looked like a stupid comment about my flooring.

mandy7
Apr 26th, 2007, 12:58 PM
erm I didn't say ANYTHING about your English, and joke? Well usually people make it obvious when it's meant to be a joke. Sorry, I didn't find that funny. It just looked like a stupid comment about my flooring.
why would anyone say something stupid about someone's floor? :lol:

DutchieGirl
Apr 26th, 2007, 01:00 PM
why would anyone say something stupid about someone's floor? :lol:

How the hell do I know...he just made some silly comment about a rug on my floor. Didn't think it was funny, don't have a rug so :shrug: And now apparantly i'm making fun of his english - where the hell did I dot that? :scratch:

mandy7
Apr 26th, 2007, 01:02 PM
rug as in hairy....get it
and he didn't say your making fun of his English (which would be weird, caus ehe's american)
read it again

DutchieGirl
Apr 26th, 2007, 01:05 PM
rug as in hairy....get it
and he didn't say your making fun of his English (which would be weird, caus ehe's american)
read it again

I've read it... he says that apparantly he doesn't have a good command of the english language. So that means he thinks I was saying something about his english - whcih I did not.

Yes, I get rug - hairy. :rolleyes: Still not funny from someone I don't know, and who was having a go at me in previous posts!

chapel
Apr 26th, 2007, 01:09 PM
erm I didn't say ANYTHING about your English, and joke? Well usually people make it obvious when it's meant to be a joke. Sorry, I didn't find that funny. It just looked like a stupid comment about my flooring.
um, yeah, still gona skip this one. for future reference, i don't really use smileys (if that's what you meant when you said about making jokes obvious.)



mandy, she yelled at me then told me im unfunny. 2 in a row, man. .............hold me! she scares me!

Oh, and pubic hair on women is certainly not disgusting to everyone. Plenty of men like it - it's a secondary sexual characteristic, after all, we're wired to like it.
really? where are you from?

mandy7
Apr 26th, 2007, 01:13 PM
mandy, she yelled at me then told me im unfunny. 2 in a row, man. .............hold me! she scares me!
:awww: :hug:

chapel
Apr 26th, 2007, 02:06 PM
:awww: :hug:
hi-five! ............okay, i already apologized. now can we go back to the topic? ...............we've wasted a perfectly good, healthy discussion about you fave topic. if there's anyone who should be upset, it's you.

now back on topic!

tenisto
Apr 26th, 2007, 05:50 PM
... and am a very good cook.

.

:devil: :kiss:

roarke
Apr 26th, 2007, 05:59 PM
It appears that men often get blamed exclusively for the problems between men and women. Or maybe I'm reading it that way.

When I was a teen I never got any dates because of the terrible acne problem that plagued me. One day my mother said to me "not to worry, even if you don't get any dates today, when you get older women will always love you because you are a 'nice guy'. Teenaged girls are too immature to see that acne is just a medical condition, not a sign of bad character. But women are far more mature and they will see through the problem and love you. Women do not care for money or good looks, all they care about is good character. And you have plenty of that. In fact, because you are such a nice guy, you will have so many women you won't know what to do with all of them!"

Well, my mother was correct in one respect -- women did often call me 'nice guy'. But that never meant dates or romance for me. It turned out that I attracted very few women in my life as most women prefer "macho" types. In fact, most of the 'nice guys' whom I have known tell similar stories.

When it comes to dates and romance, more often than not, 'nice guys' finish last. This might generate a few laughs to some but to me and the like it ain't so funny.


awww nice girls finish last too.

wta_zuperfann
Apr 27th, 2007, 12:23 AM
awww nice girls finish last too.


No, no, no my naive Friend. Nice girls finish FIRST:


http://www.boreme.com/media/yr2006/miss-puerto-rico-1.jpg

Miss Universe 2006 Zuleyka Rivera!

woosey
Apr 27th, 2007, 12:37 AM
i didn't see not making her cum on the list.

i would say that's the biggest mistake.

meyerpl
Apr 27th, 2007, 12:42 AM
It's just a stereotype.

I'm just giving meyerpl shit. We kid each other a lot.

Yeah, that's it, just a stereotype. In fact, marriage has the opposite effect; the longer you're married the more sex you have, especially after you have children. There's nothing more stimulating than having sex with the same person over and over again, year after year, decade after decade. After about twenty years, marriage becomes a non-stop fuck-fest.

meyerpl
Apr 27th, 2007, 12:43 AM
i didn't see not making her cum on the list.

i would say that's the biggest mistake.
Get out! Women can do that too?

hablo
Apr 27th, 2007, 02:39 AM
No, no, no my naive Friend. Nice girls finish FIRST:

Miss Universe 2006 Zuleyka Rivera!
:tape:

fifiricci
Apr 27th, 2007, 09:59 AM
Yeah, that's it, just a stereotype. In fact, marriage has the opposite effect; the longer you're married the more sex you have, especially after you have children. There's nothing more stimulating than having sex with the same person over and over again, year after year, decade after decade. After about twenty years, marriage becomes a non-stop fuck-fest.

Possibly true, except that by then you kid yourself that you are shagging James Bond, Edward Rochester, Captain Frederick Wentworth, Mr Darcy, Rupert Penry Jones, my goodlooking postman, the whole back division of the Welsh rugby team and the cute bloke you saw down Tescos yesterday when you were doing your weekly shop ......................... :lick:

meyerpl
Apr 27th, 2007, 11:28 AM
Hmmmmm......fantasize about other people while having sex with your spouse.....you might be on to something! I wonder if anybody else has ever thought of that?

esquímaux
Apr 27th, 2007, 11:35 AM
OMFG :spit: :spit: :spit:












it applies to me too :o
:rolls: :rolls: *DEATH*



























add me too :o:o:o

esquímaux
Apr 27th, 2007, 11:37 AM
23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.

Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.:spit: mEoW!! :rolls::rolls::rolls:

chapel
Apr 27th, 2007, 01:41 PM
Yeah, that's it, just a stereotype. In fact, marriage has the opposite effect; the longer you're married the more sex you have, especially after you have children. There's nothing more stimulating than having sex with the same person over and over again, year after year, decade after decade. After about twenty years, marriage becomes a non-stop fuck-fest.

sarcasm detected.

*crosses out marriage* got that!

Hagar
Apr 27th, 2007, 02:48 PM
It appears that men often get blamed exclusively for the problems between men and women. Or maybe I'm reading it that way.

When I was a teen I never got any dates because of the terrible acne problem that plagued me. One day my mother said to me "not to worry, even if you don't get any dates today, when you get older women will always love you because you are a 'nice guy'. Teenaged girls are too immature to see that acne is just a medical condition, not a sign of bad character. But women are far more mature and they will see through the problem and love you. Women do not care for money or good looks, all they care about is good character. And you have plenty of that. In fact, because you are such a nice guy, you will have so many women you won't know what to do with all of them!"

Well, my mother was correct in one respect -- women did often call me 'nice guy'. But that never meant dates or romance for me. It turned out that I attracted very few women in my life as most women prefer "macho" types. In fact, most of the 'nice guys' whom I have known tell similar stories.

When it comes to dates and romance, more often than not, 'nice guys' finish last. This might generate a few laughs to some but to me and the like it ain't so funny.

There is nothing so pathetic as a man complaining that he can't get any dates because women don't like "nice guys".
Women like "nice guys" but they don't like guys behave like a woman's doormat.

In my experience, men who complain that women prefer men who are "macho" are very insecure and are not so much interested in a woman but compare themselves with other guys all the time, and are frustrated because they are not very high in the picking order.

fifiricci
Apr 27th, 2007, 03:47 PM
Yeah, that's it, just a stereotype. In fact, marriage has the opposite effect; the longer you're married the more sex you have, especially after you have children. There's nothing more stimulating than having sex with the same person over and over again, year after year, decade after decade. After about twenty years, marriage becomes a non-stop fuck-fest.

Holy shite, I'm off to the brain doctor. I just didn't get the sarcasm in this first time round :help:

Steffica Greles
Apr 27th, 2007, 05:45 PM
Possibly true, except that by then you kid yourself that you are shagging James Bond, Edward Rochester, Captain Frederick Wentworth, Mr Darcy, Rupert Penry Jones, my goodlooking postman, the whole back division of the Welsh rugby team and the cute bloke you saw down Tescos yesterday when you were doing your weekly shop ......................... :lick:

LOL! You do that too?

MyskinaManiac
Apr 27th, 2007, 06:07 PM
maybe you shouldn't make idiotic, insensitive comments before you know anything about someone. why did you have any reason to say the other bit anyway.

you really are a crappy person.

Go to hell! I apologised, what more do you want from me?

stevos
Apr 27th, 2007, 07:35 PM
Go to hell! I apologised, what more do you want from me?

Not much, just a complete personality change.

Oh, and my mother loves me very much, thanks.

miffedmax
Apr 27th, 2007, 07:46 PM
Possibly true, except that by then you kid yourself that you are shagging James Bond, Edward Rochester, Captain Frederick Wentworth, Mr Darcy, Rupert Penry Jones, my goodlooking postman, the whole back division of the Welsh rugby team and the cute bloke you saw down Tescos yesterday when you were doing your weekly shop ......................... :lick:

The other nice thing about married sex is that you both deteriorate nice and slowly so it's harder to notice. Combined with the natural deterioration of your vision and the haze of love that you're hopefully still experiencing, you can still look at a lifelong partner and go "Nice."

wta_zuperfann
Apr 27th, 2007, 07:57 PM
There is nothing so pathetic as a man complaining that he can't get any dates because women don't like "nice guys".
Women like "nice guys" but they don't like guys behave like a woman's doormat.

In my experience, men who complain that women prefer men who are "macho" are very insecure and are not so much interested in a woman but compare themselves with other guys all the time, and are frustrated because they are not very high in the picking order.


I'm sure that this was not on the minds of the girl's family when they attended her funeral.

But her fate is certainly not always the case. I remember another gal who was about 5' tall but who idealized macho men. She married a muscle bound guy about 6'5" who proceeded to kick the sh't out of her. After their divorce she swore off macho types and married a 'nice guy'. When last I heard they married and lived happily ever after.

Hagar
Apr 27th, 2007, 09:15 PM
I'm sure that this was not on the minds of the girl's family when they attended her funeral.

But her fate is certainly not always the case. I remember another gal who was about 5' tall but who idealized macho men. She married a muscle bound guy about 6'5" who proceeded to kick the sh't out of her. After their divorce she swore off macho types and married a 'nice guy'. When last I heard they married and lived happily ever after.

It seems like in your world men are either enormous macho's or nice guys. In reality most guys are somewhere in between, just like not all women are b!tches or angels.

cellophane
Apr 27th, 2007, 09:36 PM
Well, if your father wouldn't have had such sex, you wouldn't be.

Well, I didn't ask him to. ;)

fifiricci
Apr 27th, 2007, 11:07 PM
LOL! You do that too?

Yes and the first time it happened I wasn't even really trying and I was truly still very much in love and lust with my boyfriend :o I like to think its all down to some complex psychology of the female mind, but methinks I am just kidding myself. I felt really really guilty about it afterwards .............. for about 30 seconds. After that, it got easier and easier ;)

wta_zuperfann
Apr 27th, 2007, 11:16 PM
It seems like in your world men are either enormous macho's or nice guys. In reality most guys are somewhere in between, just like not all women are b!tches or angels.

Not entirely. And I certainly did not say that women are of either extreme. By contrast it was you who said that 'nice guys' are all insecure or whatever.

I would agree that most guys/gals are somewhere in between those extremes.:)

chapel
Apr 28th, 2007, 01:17 AM
Yes and the first time it happened I wasn't even really trying and I was truly still very much in love and lust with my boyfriend :o I like to think its all down to some complex psychology of the female mind, but methinks I am just kidding myself. I felt really really guilty about it afterwards .............. for about 30 seconds. After that, it got easier and easier ;)
this doesn't just happen to women. some guys do it too when they've been in a monogamous relationship for a really long time. but guys should be really careful when they do this coz it's possible that they'll end up saying a different name in bed so always turn on the light. guys just aren't too good at doing 2 things at the same time - picturing they're doing some hot supermodel and trying to remember the girlfriend's name.

korben
Apr 28th, 2007, 10:20 AM
11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.

Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

20) COMING TOO SOON.

Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.
---------------------------------

Yeah !!! Every mans nightmare.
Do other. It is wrong EVERY TIME !

meyerpl
Apr 28th, 2007, 11:28 AM
Yes and the first time it happened I wasn't even really trying and I was truly still very much in love and lust with my boyfriend :o I like to think its all down to some complex psychology of the female mind, but methinks I am just kidding myself. I felt really really guilty about it afterwards .............. for about 30 seconds. After that, it got easier and easier ;)
You should knickname your husband/lover, "the man of a thousand faces" and see if he ever figures it out.

fifiricci
Apr 29th, 2007, 09:16 PM
You should knickname your husband/lover, "the man of a thousand faces" and see if he ever figures it out.

Bonne idee cheri :p

meyerpl
Apr 30th, 2007, 09:46 AM
Bonne idee cheri :p
I'm at a disadvantage. Translation please?

Yasmine
Apr 30th, 2007, 09:54 AM
^^ it means "Good Idea darling" :devil:


*stops interfering:p*

meyerpl
Apr 30th, 2007, 11:26 AM
^^ it means "Good Idea darling" :devil:


*stops interfering:p*

Thank you.:)

wipeout
Apr 30th, 2007, 11:42 AM
Oh, and pubic hair on women is certainly not disgusting to everyone. Plenty of men like it - it's a secondary sexual characteristic, after all, we're wired to like it.

That would suggest women are wired to like men with beards. ;)

Actually, I've joked that whatever I find she has down there, I start growing the same on my face. See how she likes kissing this. :lol:

mandy7
May 1st, 2007, 12:51 PM
# 41: Say the wrong name

my best friend's bf said my name once
she was not amused
:lol:

chapel
May 1st, 2007, 02:09 PM
remembering the right name while in the midst of passion is a difficult task. and he probably didn't get enough light to help him. i pity the guy.

hehe....

miffedmax
May 1st, 2007, 10:50 PM
Oh, I couldn't stop myself . . .

1) NOT KISSING FIRST.

Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

A legitimate point, but it does raise the question of how you know how guys behave when they’re paying by the hour.



2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.

Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

Why are you dating old guys who blow 50 birthday candles at a time? Are you a gold digger, or do you have unresolved father issues?

3) NOT SHAVING.

You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which your rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

Yes, but that stubble is all we have to protect us from the stubble on your legs.


4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.

Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

Yours probably need fluffing up, not smoothing.


5) BITING HER NIPPLES.

Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy, isn't.

Something, anything to get a reaction.




6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.

Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

Okay, here’s a little secret. It’s fun for us to play with your nipples. I mean, God forbid we enjoy sex, too.



7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.

A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

Believe me, you’ve got more than three turnoffs, lady.




8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.

Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

Or just uncross your legs.



9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.

Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

Well, if you’ll empty the garbage one out of every four weeks, then we have a deal.





10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.

Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

Wait . . . I thought I was supposed to be spending my time on every part of your body except your boobs and your clitoris . . .


11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.

Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

Yeah, like you’ve ever in your life not answered the phone . . . for God’s sake, that’s why we have answering machines.



12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.

Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

And I care about this, why? If I’m seein’ ta-tas, I have probably lost track of where the sweater is, who’s in the White House and quite possibly my own name.



13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.

Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

If this has actually happened to you, then it’s really time to try having sex while sober.


14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.

Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior ofher vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

Well what the hell else am I supposed to be obsessed with? If I’m not interested in your vagina then I’m on the wrong fucking team.


15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.

You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

Again, it’s that whole “try sex without getting drunk first” thing. It really works.



16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.

Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

Or has given you a wedgie.



17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.

A man in socks and underpants is at his worst. Lose the socks first.

17 mistakes in, and you finally get one right.


18) GOING TOO FAST.

When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly,with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

Because of course nobody expects you to move, or get into a rhythm or do anything except just lie there, waiting for him to make the earth move for you.



19) GOING TOO HARD.

If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

I’m trying to picture this in my head, and can only come to the conclusion you’ve had sex with a lot of guys with 2” penises.



20) COMING TOO SOON.

Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

Or maybe you could have a plan to get him excited again. But then I guess you’d have to charge him more (see #1).



21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.

It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

Did you know you have lots of muscles in your vagina? And hands? And a voice? And than all of these above can be used separately and in conjunction with each other to motivate him to finish the job? Oh, wait, lying there with your legs open is all you have to do and we should be grateful you do that much. I forgot.



22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.

You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask.

Fine, if you agree not to bitch about the fact you never come.



23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.

Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

Practice what your preach. Kissing the tip is not performing oral sex.



24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.

Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this.It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

Feel free to nudge or grab my head any time, instead of lying there thinking “Gee, I hate the way he acts like a cat at a saucer of milk.”



25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.

Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

You should be able to tell. Most men make some kind of noise when they’re about to come.


26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.

Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

You see? You really do think that great sex begins by “just lying there.”



27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.

In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

This really does beg the question—how often DO you do laundry? I mean sex is pretty messy no matter how you do it . . .



28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.

Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

But if I let her rest, she’ll lose interest because women never take breaks . . .



29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

You know, I’m beginning to see a pattern here about alcohol and sex. I suppose drunk guys are pretty much your only hope.



30) TAKING PICTURES.

When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

You’re hearing voices that aren’t there? It's worse than I feared. I think you may have alcoholic dementia.


31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.

Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

Fruit, veggies, honey are fine, but a little cum shot and it’s laundry time? Ewwwwwwwww!



32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.

There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

Lay off the booze, drop a couple of tons and this might not be such a problem.



33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.

If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

I finally figured out why you’re not moving! You’ve passed out.



34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.

Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

How did you get your head so far up your ass without noticing there’s a huge bundle of nerves down there that link up with the ones from your sex organs? I’m spare you the details of some of the more elaborate things you can do, but start by caressing the “t’aint”, that area between your genitals and your rectum. It probably feels nice. Where you go from there is up to you and your partner. But learn a little physiology before you make an idiot out of yourself.


35) GIVING LOVE BITES.

It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

Or just bite her somewhere besides the neck.



36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.

Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

He was trying to wake you from your alcohol induced stupor.


37) TALKING DIRTY.

It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know

Be imaginative, talk to her seductively, but don’t use any dirty words. Or mention body parts.


38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.

You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

Believe me, every guy who’s ever been with a woman cares if she comes or not. Except with you. He’s just hoping to get out of there with his wallet.



39) SQUASHING HER.

Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

Like I said earlier, this is clearly a premarital scenario.



40) THANKING HER.

Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

Then stop acting like you’re doing such a fucking favor.

hablo
May 1st, 2007, 11:33 PM
miffedmax, really all you had to do, to get even with this list, was to look up the one made by guys that was posted a while back. :lol::tape:

It's somewhere in non-tennis.

stevos
May 1st, 2007, 11:38 PM
:haha: Some of them I was laughing out loud for real, great stuff :yeah:

wta_zuperfann
May 31st, 2007, 07:48 PM
Say, what ever happened to the promised "40 mistakes Women Make While Having Sex With Men"?

canoe.
May 31st, 2007, 11:00 PM
:haha: :haha: :haha:

That was hilarious--and judging from the shrieky responses from the straight boys she obviously hit a nerve.

woosey
May 31st, 2007, 11:46 PM
Say, what ever happened to the promised "40 mistakes Women Make While Having Sex With Men"?

a woman can't really make a mistake doing that.

ToeTag
May 31st, 2007, 11:49 PM
I wish the hets would stop flaunting their heterosexuality in our faces all the damn time!!!!
So you're straight--so what? What do you want? A parade?!

DemWilliamsGulls
Jun 1st, 2007, 01:59 AM
I dont know nothing about this topic..cuz im strictly dickley

wta_zuperfann
Jun 1st, 2007, 02:46 AM
I wish the hets would stop flaunting their heterosexuality in our faces all the damn time!!!!
So you're straight--so what? What do you want? A parade?!


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

wta_zuperfann
Jun 1st, 2007, 02:46 AM
No wonder wtaworld is my favorite site on the Internet!!

Brett.
Jun 1st, 2007, 03:35 AM
I love guys with shaved legs, but i mean everywhere! :drool:. I only date mostly guys with "Flavour Savour" and a big personality. :D

fifiricci
Jun 1st, 2007, 02:18 PM
Say, what ever happened to the promised "40 mistakes Women Make While Having Sex With Men"?

None of the men can think of that many, because we girls are sooooo bloody good at giving them undiluted pleasure :angel: ;)

égalité
Jun 1st, 2007, 05:23 PM
Sex with women. :scared:

:haha:

Seriously :tape:

Scotso
Jun 1st, 2007, 06:20 PM
Uhm. Why forty mistakes?

There's just one mistake: having sex with women.

:lol:

And most of these are about being gentle it seems. Some people like it rough.

<----

miffedmax
Jun 1st, 2007, 07:07 PM
I once read an article on the research methods used by women's mags like Cosmo, Elle, etc.

Basically it boiled down to this. Whenever you read phrases like "Most women," "In general, women" or just "Women" what it really means is "My best friend and I." Because they don't really do anything systematic in their surveys.

Even when you read a "poll" the bias is wonky because the poll self-selects by having people respond, rather than screening them.

miffedmax
Jun 1st, 2007, 07:09 PM
:lol:

And most of these are about being gentle it seems. Some people like it rough.

<----

And, I think most people want it down and dirty and rough sometimes. And slow, sweet and gentle sometimes.

This article says a lot more about the author's desires and hangups than it does about men.

Tennisation
Jun 1st, 2007, 09:46 PM
I have not made these mistakes with my woman, which is one of the reeasons she agreed to marry me.;)unfortunately u made the biggest mistake of all that is not on the list, that is not having sex with her perhaps ur hiding something?;)

wta_zuperfann
Jun 2nd, 2007, 12:47 PM
It is a fact that most survey results are nothing more than a reflection of the surveyor's preconceived ideas.

But, it's too bad we'll never see that '40 mistakes women make' thread -- it would have been worth a few chuckles, I'm sure. :)

Bette_Midler
Jul 6th, 2007, 08:42 PM
:lol:

btw: women never make mistakes

miffedmax
Jul 6th, 2007, 09:09 PM
:lol:

btw: women never make mistakes

Trust me, they do. It's just that guys are less likely to complain and perhaps more likely to look for a better partner.

korben
Jul 6th, 2007, 11:01 PM
btw: women never make mistakes

:)

More you learn of women. More you respect your dog :rolleyes:

canoe.
Jul 6th, 2007, 11:12 PM
It's just that guys are less likely to complain
:haha:
You wouldn't know it by this thread!