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Alenyaa
Mar 21st, 2007, 04:25 PM
Ok, first of all: thank you for paying attention to this thread at all :lol:

Now what's this all about? You and I, my friends, Romans and coutrymen, are going to write the wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva', together!
The concept is very simple, so that even Mat will understand :D

Every person that decides to play along at this point, instead of further contemplating exactly how insane I really am, can post a couple of sentences or one paragraph at a time. If what you post is (part of) a conversation, you'll have to limit yourself to 5 sentences. This should give you the possibility to set up a pun. If you choose to describe something, you can write an entire paragraph.
This way the story will be completely (sort of) unpredictable and therefor amusing! :D I hope... :p


I'll get us started. Remember:
quote = maximum 5 sentences
description: max one paragraph

Pleas copy the text before adding your contribution.
Have fun!



"The wackiest Tale of the SS Dementieva*


*Morning breaks upon the SS Dementieva, which is on it's way to the Polish northern shores. A peaceful silence rules over the decks as some early woken crewmembers take a morning stroll. However, the peaceful silence is suddenly broken by an ear piercing scream coming form the inner decks.*

Dementinator
Mar 21st, 2007, 04:52 PM
"It appears poor Russian-fan cought site of Altair in the nude as he was having a morning swim"

mc8114
Mar 21st, 2007, 05:00 PM
:topic: i'm no good with stories, but i'll think of something and will post it :D

Dementinator
Mar 21st, 2007, 05:14 PM
we eagerly await!

roldmant
Mar 21st, 2007, 08:10 PM
"The wackiest Tale of the SS Dementieva*


*Morning breaks upon the SS Dementieva, which is on it's way to the Polish northern shores. A peaceful silence rules over the decks as some early woken crewmembers take a morning stroll. However, the peaceful silence is suddenly broken by an ear piercing scream coming form the inner decks.

"It appears poor Russian-fan caught site of Altair in the nude as he was having a morning swim"

Jolted by the siren-like scream, Captain D throws open his cabin door just in time to hear a splash from the water below. He quickly moves to the railing to see a blond head swimming away at almost super-human speed. Before he can shout "Woman overboard!" the blond hair slides away from the rest of the body. He opens his mouth to yell "Man Overboard!", but decides that chase will likely be fruitless, as the person obviously has to get away from the ship in a hurry. Completely bewildered, he turns toward the bridge, only to be confonted by a soaking wet Altair, holding a towel which barely covers what ought not to be seen.
"Ah-ha", he mutters, "we'll not see 'her' around here again...". Altair slinks away, surrounded by howls of laughter from the "lucky" witnesses.

miffedmax
Mar 21st, 2007, 11:38 PM
Meanwhile, in the ships salon, Max is looking for the wig he had just trimmed to have a lovely set of bangs. He'd hoped to leave it where Elena might see it, hoping she'll change her mind about her hairstyle. He is easily distracted by the sound of a football bouncing off the deck, and steps out of the salon to see psigaucho and Dani kicking a soccer ball.

"Hi, Dani" he says. But she only spits at him, and yells "Die, Gringo!" Of course--how could he have forgotten that it's only a couple months until the Gold Cup begins!

Dementinator
Mar 23rd, 2007, 03:57 PM
"The wackiest Tale of the SS Dementieva*


*Morning breaks upon the SS Dementieva, which is on it's way to the Polish northern shores. A peaceful silence rules over the decks as some early woken crewmembers take a morning stroll. However, the peaceful silence is suddenly broken by an ear piercing scream coming form the inner decks.

"It appears poor Russian-fan caught site of Altair in the nude as he was having a morning swim"

Jolted by the siren-like scream, Captain D throws open his cabin door just in time to hear a splash from the water below. He quickly moves to the railing to see a blond head swimming away at almost super-human speed. Before he can shout "Woman overboard!" the blond hair slides away from the rest of the body. He opens his mouth to yell "Man Overboard!", but decides that chase will likely be fruitless, as the person obviously has to get away from the ship in a hurry. Completely bewildered, he turns toward the bridge, only to be confonted by a soaking wet Altair, holding a towel which barely covers what ought not to be seen.
"Ah-ha", he mutters, "we'll not see 'her' around here again...". Altair slinks away, surrounded by howls of laughter from the "lucky" witnesses.

Meanwhile, in the ships salon, Max is looking for the wig he had just trimmed to have a lovely set of bangs. He'd hoped to leave it where Elena might see it, hoping she'll change her mind about her hairstyle. He is easily distracted by the sound of a football bouncing off the deck, and steps out of the salon to see psigaucho and Dani kicking a soccer ball.

"Hi, Dani" he says. But she only spits at him, and yells "Die, Gringo!" Of course--how could he have forgotten that it's only a couple months until the Gold Cup begins!

The Capt is headed up the forward companionway ,starboard side when he spies the familiar shape of a tall ,powerfully built blonde haired beauty ahead.

"Ah Lena ,good to see you"
"hee hee you too capt ,titter titter giggle squeal , hee hee ,hows things going?"
" Fine thanks ,ok what have you done? I know that giggle anywhere ,youve been naughty havent you...!"

miffedmax
Mar 23rd, 2007, 04:14 PM
"Me? Bad? No, somebody keeps taping these pictures of me with bangs all over the ship. I was kind of goofy looking as a kid, wasn't I?"

"Nonsense," said the Captain. "You must have been a beautiful baby, 'cause baby look at you now!"

Elena blushes. "Why thanks . . ."

But the Cap'n ploughs on. "Yes, look at you now! Built like a T-34 tank! Probably bench press more than an American footballer . . .mummph! Gug! Ummmmmffff!" The captain sputters, trying to spit his captain's hat out of his mouth after Lena rammed it down his throat.

"Stop it!" said Lena laughing. "You're making my ribs hurt."

Dementinator
Mar 23rd, 2007, 04:23 PM
:lol:

Danči Dementia
Mar 24th, 2007, 09:04 PM
One morning Dani woke up with a big hangover................and we all know that that happens almost everyday...............but the thing was this:
when she woke up she said "ay vete a la verga puta cabeza me duele" and then she hears one voice saying "honey how many times do I need to tell you that I don't speak spanish" she turns around just to see a naked men heading to the door........Dani is surprised she's got no idea of who that men is.....then she feels Mercedes naked body against her back and Merce says to her...................Oh Dani when when when.....when are we going to know WHO is that men that we both have fallen in love with...................when.....

:confused:

Danči Dementia
Mar 24th, 2007, 09:07 PM
Meanwhile, in the ships salon, Max is looking for the wig he had just trimmed to have a lovely set of bangs. He'd hoped to leave it where Elena might see it, hoping she'll change her mind about her hairstyle. He is easily distracted by the sound of a football bouncing off the deck, and steps out of the salon to see psigaucho and Dani kicking a soccer ball.

"Hi, Dani" he says. But she only spits at him, and yells "Die, Gringo!" Of course--how could he have forgotten that it's only a couple months until the Gold Cup begins!

:lol: :lol:
We still have tinme to get along fine.........

mc8114
Mar 25th, 2007, 01:03 AM
"The wackiest Tale of the SS Dementieva*


*Morning breaks upon the SS Dementieva, which is on it's way to the Polish northern shores. A peaceful silence rules over the decks as some early woken crewmembers take a morning stroll. However, the peaceful silence is suddenly broken by an ear piercing scream coming form the inner decks.

"It appears poor Russian-fan caught site of Altair in the nude as he was having a morning swim"

Jolted by the siren-like scream, Captain D throws open his cabin door just in time to hear a splash from the water below. He quickly moves to the railing to see a blond head swimming away at almost super-human speed. Before he can shout "Woman overboard!" the blond hair slides away from the rest of the body. He opens his mouth to yell "Man Overboard!", but decides that chase will likely be fruitless, as the person obviously has to get away from the ship in a hurry. Completely bewildered, he turns toward the bridge, only to be confonted by a soaking wet Altair, holding a towel which barely covers what ought not to be seen.
"Ah-ha", he mutters, "we'll not see 'her' around here again...". Altair slinks away, surrounded by howls of laughter from the "lucky" witnesses.

Meanwhile, in the ships salon, Max is looking for the wig he had just trimmed to have a lovely set of bangs. He'd hoped to leave it where Elena might see it, hoping she'll change her mind about her hairstyle. He is easily distracted by the sound of a football bouncing off the deck, and steps out of the salon to see psigaucho and Dani kicking a soccer ball.

"Hi, Dani" he says. But she only spits at him, and yells "Die, Gringo!" Of course--how could he have forgotten that it's only a couple months until the Gold Cup begins!

The Capt is headed up the forward companionway ,starboard side when he spies the familiar shape of a tall ,powerfully built blonde haired beauty ahead.

"Ah Lena ,good to see you"
"hee hee you too capt ,titter titter giggle squeal , hee hee ,hows things going?"
" Fine thanks ,ok what have you done? I know that giggle anywhere ,youve been naughty havent you...!"
"Me? Bad? No, somebody keeps taping these pictures of me with bangs all over the ship. I was kind of goofy looking as a kid, wasn't I?"

"Nonsense," said the Captain. "You must have been a beautiful baby, 'cause baby look at you now!"

Elena blushes. "Why thanks . . ."

But the Cap'n ploughs on. "Yes, look at you now! Built like a T-34 tank! Probably bench press more than an American footballer . . .mummph! Gug! Ummmmmffff!" The captain sputters, trying to spit his captain's hat out of his mouth after Lena rammed it down his throat.

"Stop it!" said Lena laughing. "You're making my ribs hurt."

One morning Dani woke up with a big hangover................and we all know that that happens almost everyday...............but the thing was this:
when she woke up she said "ay vete a la verga puta cabeza me duele" and then she hears one voice saying "honey how many times do I need to tell you that I don't speak spanish" she turns around just to see a naked men heading to the door........Dani is surprised she's got no idea of who that men is.....then she feels Mercedes naked body against her back and Merce says to her...................Oh Dani when when when.....when are we going to know WHO is that men that we both have fallen in love with...................when.....

Mercedes feels very confused because it sounds like she just had a 3 some with a mistery man and Dani D :eek:, so she felt guilty and went straight to the pool area to do her job and there she found mommy Vera in the lightest mood drinking margaritas by herself

miffedmax
Mar 25th, 2007, 11:59 AM
"Good morning" says Mommy Vera to Mercedes. "I am having one of Paco's lovely margaritas to settle my nerves. There's a mysterious knocking coming from somewhere in the ship. I think maybe it's haunted. By the way, has anybody seen my daughter's doubles partner?"

"Bloody Mary. Please." That's all Mercedes can think to say.

"On this ship, we refer to those as Bloody TOBs" says Paco from the poolside bar.

Fearful Jesuit
Mar 26th, 2007, 04:29 AM
"Ah, what a lovely morning" psichogaucho says. Mommy Vera looks at him, surprised, and says "what are you doing aboard, José Mourinho?" Mercedes nods "he's not mourinho, he..." "silly me", interrupts Vera Semionova, "is Roy Keane!" This time is psichogaucho who nods. "I am not Mourinho, nor Keane, I am the cook...""Ah, sure, the cook, and why aren't you doing the meal for my little daughter?" "oh well, about your daughter, there's something you must know, she and I...""hold on, you crazy cowboy" Merecedes says "I am drinking but you are drunk..." "hush up, Merce, let me..." but he doesn't finish the sentence, Alenyaa apears, it seems he didn't sleep a lot...

Alenyaa
Mar 26th, 2007, 02:54 PM
Change of rules, write whatever and as much as you want!
Rules are useless in these kind of things anyway, what was I thinking :rolleyes:


The wackiest Tale of the SS Dementieva*


*Morning breaks upon the SS Dementieva, which is on it's way to the Polish northern shores. A peaceful silence rules over the decks as some early woken crewmembers take a morning stroll. However, the peaceful silence is suddenly broken by an ear piercing scream coming form the inner decks.

"It appears poor Russian-fan caught site of Altair in the nude as he was having a morning swim"

Jolted by the siren-like scream, Captain D throws open his cabin door just in time to hear a splash from the water below. He quickly moves to the railing to see a blond head swimming away at almost super-human speed. Before he can shout "Woman overboard!" the blond hair slides away from the rest of the body. He opens his mouth to yell "Man Overboard!", but decides that chase will likely be fruitless, as the person obviously has to get away from the ship in a hurry. Completely bewildered, he turns toward the bridge, only to be confonted by a soaking wet Altair, holding a towel which barely covers what ought not to be seen.
"Ah-ha", he mutters, "we'll not see 'her' around here again...". Altair slinks away, surrounded by howls of laughter from the "lucky" witnesses.

Meanwhile, in the ships salon, Max is looking for the wig he had just trimmed to have a lovely set of bangs. He'd hoped to leave it where Elena might see it, hoping she'll change her mind about her hairstyle. He is easily distracted by the sound of a football bouncing off the deck, and steps out of the salon to see psigaucho and Dani kicking a soccer ball.

"Hi, Dani" he says. But she only spits at him, and yells "Die, Gringo!" Of course--how could he have forgotten that it's only a couple months until the Gold Cup begins!

The Capt is headed up the forward companionway ,starboard side when he spies the familiar shape of a tall ,powerfully built blonde haired beauty ahead.

"Ah Lena ,good to see you"
"hee hee you too capt ,titter titter giggle squeal , hee hee ,hows things going?"
" Fine thanks ,ok what have you done? I know that giggle anywhere ,youve been naughty havent you...!"
"Me? Bad? No, somebody keeps taping these pictures of me with bangs all over the ship. I was kind of goofy looking as a kid, wasn't I?"

"Nonsense," said the Captain. "You must have been a beautiful baby, 'cause baby look at you now!"

Elena blushes. "Why thanks . . ."

But the Cap'n ploughs on. "Yes, look at you now! Built like a T-34 tank! Probably bench press more than an American footballer . . .mummph! Gug! Ummmmmffff!" The captain sputters, trying to spit his captain's hat out of his mouth after Lena rammed it down his throat.

"Stop it!" said Lena laughing. "You're making my ribs hurt."

One morning Dani woke up with a big hangover................and we all know that that happens almost everyday...............but the thing was this:
when she woke up she said "ay vete a la verga puta cabeza me duele" and then she hears one voice saying "honey how many times do I need to tell you that I don't speak spanish" she turns around just to see a naked men heading to the door........Dani is surprised she's got no idea of who that men is.....then she feels Mercedes naked body against her back and Merce says to her...................Oh Dani when when when.....when are we going to know WHO is that men that we both have fallen in love with...................when.....

Mercedes feels very confused because it sounds like she just had a 3 some with a mistery man and Dani D , so she felt guilty and went straight to the pool area to do her job and there she found mommy Vera in the lightest mood drinking margaritas by herself

"Good morning" says Mommy Vera to Mercedes. "I am having one of Paco's lovely margaritas to settle my nerves. There's a mysterious knocking coming from somewhere in the ship. I think maybe it's haunted. By the way, has anybody seen my daughter's doubles partner?"

"Bloody Mary. Please." That's all Mercedes can think to say.

"On this ship, we refer to those as Bloody TOBs" says Paco from the poolside bar.

"Ah, what a lovely morning" psichogaucho says. Mommy Vera looks at him, surprised, and says "what are you doing aboard, José Mourinho?" Mercedes nods "he's not mourinho, he..." "silly me", interrupts Vera Semionova, "is Roy Keane!" This time is psichogaucho who nods. "I am not Mourinho, nor Keane, I am the cook...""Ah, sure, the cook, and why aren't you doing the meal for my little daughter?" "oh well, about your daughter, there's something you must know, she and I...""hold on, you crazy cowboy" Merecedes says "I am drinking but you are drunk..." "hush up, Merce, let me..." but he doesn't finish the sentence, Alenyaa apears, it seems he didn't sleep a lot...

Alenyaa: Morning everyone (yawn)...

Vera: Another useless waste of space... how will you train with my daughter given the shape you're in?

Alenyaa: The mere prospect of seeing her gives my a rush of adrenaline, Admiral.

Vera: Whatever... where is she anyway? Ah! There you are, my precious little girl. What are you so happy about?

Elena: titter titter, giggle

miffedmax
Mar 26th, 2007, 03:20 PM
As the little group stands and talks, they hear angry voices from the deck below.

"Mexico!"
"USA"
"Mexico!"
"USA!"

Quasar has just entered the scene. "Oh, those two are at it again. Go shut them up, please," asks Elena.

"At once," said Quasar, bounding down the stairs. He saw Max and Dani. "Please, Elena asks that you two stop fighting, especially since Costa Rica is going to . . ."

Upstairs, the little group hears the sounds of a scuffle, followed by silence. Then it begins again.

"Mexico."
"USA."
"Mexico"

"What's the matter? Andy, go see what happened to Quasar."

"Of course, Elena." Andy bounds downstairs. He sees Max and Dani, seated atop a canvas bag, still arguing.

"Please, don't argue. Especially since Argentina is much better than . . ."

Upstairs, the little group hears the sound of struggle, followed by silence.
Then . . .

"Mexico.
"USA."
"Mexico."
"USA."

"Good Lord," said Elena. "This is ridiculous. Send Altair down there at onece"

Altair responds to the page. He goes to the appropriate deck, where he sees Max and Dani, each seated on a canvas sack, arguing.

"Please, it's pointless to argue. We all know that the Netherlands . . ."

Upstairs, the small group hears the sound of a struggle. Silence. And then . . .

"Mexico."
"USA."
"Mexico."
"USA."

Elena finally snaps. "I'll just have to take care of this by myself."

Upstairs, the little group hears Elena's voice. "Please. It is pointless to argue over USA vs. Mexico, as we all know Russia could beat either of them at football.

There are the sounds of a scuffle. Silence . . .

A few seconds later, Elena emerges from below, carrying a couple of canvas bags over her shoulders. She is followed by Altair, Andy and Quasar.

"Dunk them in the pool a few times," suggest Mommy Vera. "Maybe that will cool them off."

Alenyaa
Mar 26th, 2007, 03:55 PM
:haha:

Dementinator
Mar 26th, 2007, 03:58 PM
a tittering giggling Lena is a dangerous thing indeed.

Alenyaa
Mar 27th, 2007, 03:10 PM
*The wackiest Tale of the SS Dementieva*


*Morning breaks upon the SS Dementieva, which is on it's way to the Polish northern shores. A peaceful silence rules over the decks as some early woken crewmembers take a morning stroll. However, the peaceful silence is suddenly broken by an ear piercing scream coming form the inner decks.

"It appears poor Russian-fan caught site of Altair in the nude as he was having a morning swim"

Jolted by the siren-like scream, Captain D throws open his cabin door just in time to hear a splash from the water below. He quickly moves to the railing to see a blond head swimming away at almost super-human speed. Before he can shout "Woman overboard!" the blond hair slides away from the rest of the body. He opens his mouth to yell "Man Overboard!", but decides that chase will likely be fruitless, as the person obviously has to get away from the ship in a hurry. Completely bewildered, he turns toward the bridge, only to be confonted by a soaking wet Altair, holding a towel which barely covers what ought not to be seen.
"Ah-ha", he mutters, "we'll not see 'her' around here again...". Altair slinks away, surrounded by howls of laughter from the "lucky" witnesses.

Meanwhile, in the ships salon, Max is looking for the wig he had just trimmed to have a lovely set of bangs. He'd hoped to leave it where Elena might see it, hoping she'll change her mind about her hairstyle. He is easily distracted by the sound of a football bouncing off the deck, and steps out of the salon to see psigaucho and Dani kicking a soccer ball.

"Hi, Dani" he says. But she only spits at him, and yells "Die, Gringo!" Of course--how could he have forgotten that it's only a couple months until the Gold Cup begins!

The Capt is headed up the forward companionway ,starboard side when he spies the familiar shape of a tall ,powerfully built blonde haired beauty ahead.

"Ah Lena ,good to see you"
"hee hee you too capt ,titter titter giggle squeal , hee hee ,hows things going?"
" Fine thanks ,ok what have you done? I know that giggle anywhere ,youve been naughty havent you...!"
"Me? Bad? No, somebody keeps taping these pictures of me with bangs all over the ship. I was kind of goofy looking as a kid, wasn't I?"

"Nonsense," said the Captain. "You must have been a beautiful baby, 'cause baby look at you now!"

Elena blushes. "Why thanks . . ."

But the Cap'n ploughs on. "Yes, look at you now! Built like a T-34 tank! Probably bench press more than an American footballer . . .mummph! Gug! Ummmmmffff!" The captain sputters, trying to spit his captain's hat out of his mouth after Lena rammed it down his throat.

"Stop it!" said Lena laughing. "You're making my ribs hurt."

One morning Dani woke up with a big hangover................and we all know that that happens almost everyday...............but the thing was this:
when she woke up she said "ay vete a la verga puta cabeza me duele" and then she hears one voice saying "honey how many times do I need to tell you that I don't speak spanish" she turns around just to see a naked men heading to the door........Dani is surprised she's got no idea of who that men is.....then she feels Mercedes naked body against her back and Merce says to her...................Oh Dani when when when.....when are we going to know WHO is that men that we both have fallen in love with...................when.....

Mercedes feels very confused because it sounds like she just had a 3 some with a mistery man and Dani D , so she felt guilty and went straight to the pool area to do her job and there she found mommy Vera in the lightest mood drinking margaritas by herself

"Good morning" says Mommy Vera to Mercedes. "I am having one of Paco's lovely margaritas to settle my nerves. There's a mysterious knocking coming from somewhere in the ship. I think maybe it's haunted. By the way, has anybody seen my daughter's doubles partner?"

"Bloody Mary. Please." That's all Mercedes can think to say.

"On this ship, we refer to those as Bloody TOBs" says Paco from the poolside bar.

"Ah, what a lovely morning" psichogaucho says. Mommy Vera looks at him, surprised, and says "what are you doing aboard, José Mourinho?" Mercedes nods "he's not mourinho, he..." "silly me", interrupts Vera Semionova, "is Roy Keane!" This time is psichogaucho who nods. "I am not Mourinho, nor Keane, I am the cook...""Ah, sure, the cook, and why aren't you doing the meal for my little daughter?" "oh well, about your daughter, there's something you must know, she and I...""hold on, you crazy cowboy" Merecedes says "I am drinking but you are drunk..." "hush up, Merce, let me..." but he doesn't finish the sentence, Alenyaa apears, it seems he didn't sleep a lot...

Alenyaa: Morning everyone (yawn)...

Vera: Another useless waste of space... how will you train with my daughter given the shape you're in?

Alenyaa: The mere prospect of seeing her gives my a rush of adrenaline, Admiral.

Vera: Whatever... where is she anyway? Ah! There you are, my precious little girl. What are you so happy about?

Elena: titter titter, giggle

As the little group stands and talks, they hear angry voices from the deck below.

"Mexico!"
"USA"
"Mexico!"
"USA!"

Quasar has just entered the scene. "Oh, those two are at it again. Go shut them up, please," asks Elena.

"At once," said Quasar, bounding down the stairs. He saw Max and Dani. "Please, Elena asks that you two stop fighting, especially since Costa Rica is going to . . ."

Upstairs, the little group hears the sounds of a scuffle, followed by silence. Then it begins again.

"Mexico."
"USA."
"Mexico"

"What's the matter? Andy, go see what happened to Quasar."

"Of course, Elena." Andy bounds downstairs. He sees Max and Dani, seated atop a canvas bag, still arguing.

"Please, don't argue. Especially since Argentina is much better than . . ."

Upstairs, the little group hears the sound of struggle, followed by silence.
Then . . .

"Mexico.
"USA."
"Mexico."
"USA."

"Good Lord," said Elena. "This is ridiculous. Send Altair down there at onece"

Altair responds to the page. He goes to the appropriate deck, where he sees Max and Dani, each seated on a canvas sack, arguing.

"Please, it's pointless to argue. We all know that the Netherlands . . ."

Upstairs, the small group hears the sound of a struggle. Silence. And then . . .

"Mexico."
"USA."
"Mexico."
"USA."

Elena finally snaps. "I'll just have to take care of this by myself."

Upstairs, the little group hears Elena's voice. "Please. It is pointless to argue over USA vs. Mexico, as we all know Russia could beat either of them at football.

There are the sounds of a scuffle. Silence . . .

A few seconds later, Elena emerges from below, carrying a couple of canvas bags over her shoulders. She is followed by Altair, Andy and Quasar.

"Dunk them in the pool a few times," suggest Mommy Vera. "Maybe that will cool them off."

*As Lena dumps the arguing duo into the pool, the group can suddenly hear the Captain on a rampage. As soon as he walks in, Lena immediately starts giggling again*

Captain: There you are!

*Lena laughing out loud now*

Captain: You think you're quite funny, don't you?

*Lena rolling on the floor now*

Lena: Hihihiiii hahaha... ouch, my ribs... hahahaaahehehe

Andy: Bu what's the matter, Captain?

Captain: Grmmbl... *turns around*

All: :haha: :rolls:

Captain: So, you all think putting superglue on my seat is funny, eh?????

Quasar: We do now ... :p

Captain: :ras: Well, it's time to start handing out the dirty little jobs again anyway :devil: See who laughs now!

Dementinator
Mar 27th, 2007, 11:56 PM
Lena continues giggling uncontrolably..

The Capt decides to alter the heading slightly so moves the controls to direct the Huge ship to starboard ,whereupon the vessel veers to port instead...

capt "ok ok who the wise guy ,or girl most likely ,whos inverted the the Helm controls again?" :fiery:

tee hee hee giggle giggle squirm squeal titter

capt "Its not funny Lena , one false move in a ship this size and its bye bye Cuba or something" :mad:

Lena "Oh its not that...titter giggle hahahaha squeal hehehehe" :lol:

capt " So what the hell is it then thats got you so excitable?"

Lena "Maria Sharapova.... hahaha hehe titter squeal..just got her saggy ass canned by Miss Burger King 2007 FOR THE SECOND FUCKING TIME!!"

Lena "Did I just say Fucking? :tape: oops ,titter squeal squeak giggle hahaha"

Capt " hahaha hehehehe titter heehee giggle howl tee hee" :haha: :haha:
Lena " hahaha squeal squeak giggle tee hee" :haha: :haha:

Fearful Jesuit
Mar 28th, 2007, 12:23 AM
:lol:

Alenyaa
Mar 28th, 2007, 12:41 PM
Gotta love it :lol:

mc8114
Mar 28th, 2007, 01:36 PM
:haha: :lol:

miffedmax
Mar 28th, 2007, 01:43 PM
Meanwhile, MC8114 fished Dani and Max out of the pool.

Dani sputters. "At least the cold water helped my hangover."

Alenyaa
Mar 28th, 2007, 05:21 PM
*The wackiest Tale of the SS Dementieva*


*Morning breaks upon the SS Dementieva, which is on it's way to the Polish northern shores. A peaceful silence rules over the decks as some early woken crewmembers take a morning stroll. However, the peaceful silence is suddenly broken by an ear piercing scream coming form the inner decks.

"It appears poor Russian-fan caught site of Altair in the nude as he was having a morning swim"

Jolted by the siren-like scream, Captain D throws open his cabin door just in time to hear a splash from the water below. He quickly moves to the railing to see a blond head swimming away at almost super-human speed. Before he can shout "Woman overboard!" the blond hair slides away from the rest of the body. He opens his mouth to yell "Man Overboard!", but decides that chase will likely be fruitless, as the person obviously has to get away from the ship in a hurry. Completely bewildered, he turns toward the bridge, only to be confonted by a soaking wet Altair, holding a towel which barely covers what ought not to be seen.
"Ah-ha", he mutters, "we'll not see 'her' around here again...". Altair slinks away, surrounded by howls of laughter from the "lucky" witnesses.

Meanwhile, in the ships salon, Max is looking for the wig he had just trimmed to have a lovely set of bangs. He'd hoped to leave it where Elena might see it, hoping she'll change her mind about her hairstyle. He is easily distracted by the sound of a football bouncing off the deck, and steps out of the salon to see psigaucho and Dani kicking a soccer ball.

"Hi, Dani" he says. But she only spits at him, and yells "Die, Gringo!" Of course--how could he have forgotten that it's only a couple months until the Gold Cup begins!

The Capt is headed up the forward companionway ,starboard side when he spies the familiar shape of a tall ,powerfully built blonde haired beauty ahead.

"Ah Lena ,good to see you"
"hee hee you too capt ,titter titter giggle squeal , hee hee ,hows things going?"
" Fine thanks ,ok what have you done? I know that giggle anywhere ,youve been naughty havent you...!"
"Me? Bad? No, somebody keeps taping these pictures of me with bangs all over the ship. I was kind of goofy looking as a kid, wasn't I?"

"Nonsense," said the Captain. "You must have been a beautiful baby, 'cause baby look at you now!"

Elena blushes. "Why thanks . . ."

But the Cap'n ploughs on. "Yes, look at you now! Built like a T-34 tank! Probably bench press more than an American footballer . . .mummph! Gug! Ummmmmffff!" The captain sputters, trying to spit his captain's hat out of his mouth after Lena rammed it down his throat.

"Stop it!" said Lena laughing. "You're making my ribs hurt."

One morning Dani woke up with a big hangover................and we all know that that happens almost everyday...............but the thing was this:
when she woke up she said "ay vete a la verga puta cabeza me duele" and then she hears one voice saying "honey how many times do I need to tell you that I don't speak spanish" she turns around just to see a naked men heading to the door........Dani is surprised she's got no idea of who that men is.....then she feels Mercedes naked body against her back and Merce says to her...................Oh Dani when when when.....when are we going to know WHO is that men that we both have fallen in love with...................when.....

Mercedes feels very confused because it sounds like she just had a 3 some with a mistery man and Dani D , so she felt guilty and went straight to the pool area to do her job and there she found mommy Vera in the lightest mood drinking margaritas by herself

"Good morning" says Mommy Vera to Mercedes. "I am having one of Paco's lovely margaritas to settle my nerves. There's a mysterious knocking coming from somewhere in the ship. I think maybe it's haunted. By the way, has anybody seen my daughter's doubles partner?"

"Bloody Mary. Please." That's all Mercedes can think to say.

"On this ship, we refer to those as Bloody TOBs" says Paco from the poolside bar.

"Ah, what a lovely morning" psichogaucho says. Mommy Vera looks at him, surprised, and says "what are you doing aboard, José Mourinho?" Mercedes nods "he's not mourinho, he..." "silly me", interrupts Vera Semionova, "is Roy Keane!" This time is psichogaucho who nods. "I am not Mourinho, nor Keane, I am the cook...""Ah, sure, the cook, and why aren't you doing the meal for my little daughter?" "oh well, about your daughter, there's something you must know, she and I...""hold on, you crazy cowboy" Merecedes says "I am drinking but you are drunk..." "hush up, Merce, let me..." but he doesn't finish the sentence, Alenyaa apears, it seems he didn't sleep a lot...

Alenyaa: Morning everyone (yawn)...

Vera: Another useless waste of space... how will you train with my daughter given the shape you're in?

Alenyaa: The mere prospect of seeing her gives my a rush of adrenaline, Admiral.

Vera: Whatever... where is she anyway? Ah! There you are, my precious little girl. What are you so happy about?

Elena: titter titter, giggle

As the little group stands and talks, they hear angry voices from the deck below.

"Mexico!"
"USA"
"Mexico!"
"USA!"

Quasar has just entered the scene. "Oh, those two are at it again. Go shut them up, please," asks Elena.

"At once," said Quasar, bounding down the stairs. He saw Max and Dani. "Please, Elena asks that you two stop fighting, especially since Costa Rica is going to . . ."

Upstairs, the little group hears the sounds of a scuffle, followed by silence. Then it begins again.

"Mexico."
"USA."
"Mexico"

"What's the matter? Andy, go see what happened to Quasar."

"Of course, Elena." Andy bounds downstairs. He sees Max and Dani, seated atop a canvas bag, still arguing.

"Please, don't argue. Especially since Argentina is much better than . . ."

Upstairs, the little group hears the sound of struggle, followed by silence.
Then . . .

"Mexico.
"USA."
"Mexico."
"USA."

"Good Lord," said Elena. "This is ridiculous. Send Altair down there at onece"

Altair responds to the page. He goes to the appropriate deck, where he sees Max and Dani, each seated on a canvas sack, arguing.

"Please, it's pointless to argue. We all know that the Netherlands . . ."

Upstairs, the small group hears the sound of a struggle. Silence. And then . . .

"Mexico."
"USA."
"Mexico."
"USA."

Elena finally snaps. "I'll just have to take care of this by myself."

Upstairs, the little group hears Elena's voice. "Please. It is pointless to argue over USA vs. Mexico, as we all know Russia could beat either of them at football.

There are the sounds of a scuffle. Silence . . .

A few seconds later, Elena emerges from below, carrying a couple of canvas bags over her shoulders. She is followed by Altair, Andy and Quasar.

"Dunk them in the pool a few times," suggest Mommy Vera. "Maybe that will cool them off."

*As Lena dumps the arguing duo into the pool, the group can suddenly hear the Captain on a rampage. As soon as he walks in, Lena immediately starts giggling again*

Captain: There you are!

*Lena laughing out loud now*

Captain: You think you're quite funny, don't you?

*Lena rolling on the floor now*

Lena: Hihihiiii hahaha... ouch, my ribs... hahahaaahehehe

Andy: Bu what's the matter, Captain?

Captain: Grmmbl... *turns around*

All: :haha: :rolls:

Captain: So, you all think putting superglue on my seat is funny, eh?????

Quasar: We do now ... :p

Captain: :ras: Well, it's time to start handing out the dirty little jobs again anyway :devil: See who laughs now!

Lena continues giggling uncontrolably..

The Capt decides to alter the heading slightly so moves the controls to direct the Huge ship to starboard ,whereupon the vessel veers to port instead...

capt "ok ok who the wise guy ,or girl most likely ,whos inverted the the Helm controls again?"

tee hee hee giggle giggle squirm squeal titter

capt "Its not funny Lena , one false move in a ship this size and its bye bye Cuba or something"

Lena "Oh its not that...titter giggle hahahaha squeal hehehehe"

capt " So what the hell is it then thats got you so excitable?"

Lena "Maria Sharapova.... hahaha hehe titter squeal..just got her saggy ass canned by Miss Burger King 2007 FOR THE SECOND FUCKING TIME!!"

Lena "Did I just say Fucking? oops ,titter squeal squeak giggle hahaha"

Capt " hahaha hehehehe titter heehee giggle howl tee hee"

Lena " hahaha squeal squeak giggle tee hee"

Meanwhile, MC8114 fished Dani and Max out of the pool.

Dani sputters. "At least the cold water helped my hangover."

Max: Speaking about cold water, you'll be coming home from a cold shower again after the US kick Mexico out of the Gold Cup!

Dani: Be quiet, perro! Or we'll end up in the pool again!

Mc8114: Dani, there's no need to call him names.

Dani: I'm a FF, I can do whatever I want! Speaking about perros, I'm hungry and since you are my bitch anyway you should attend to all my needs. Now go make me a sandwich!

Mc8114: Yes, Dani fatale... *Then under her breath* One of these days...! :fiery:

miffedmax
Mar 28th, 2007, 05:30 PM
Mommy Vera wags her finger at Max. "And you, you keep those hands where I can see them!"

Elena rolls her eyes. "Mommy Vera, how often do I have to tell you that's the OTHER Max. If he tried anything, I'd break his arm."

"It's true," says Max, holding up his fiberglass encased wrist. "But I blame Alenyaa. This whole thing was his idea . . ."

mc8114
Mar 28th, 2007, 09:11 PM
Mommy Vera feels very confused and walks around thinking to herself: "she has another max? - who is it? :confused:"

miffedmax
Mar 28th, 2007, 09:25 PM
Alenyaa laughs. "Look, when I said you should just sneak into her cabin and trim her bangs, I never thought you'd be stupid enough to try it!"

"Stupid is such a harsh word," says the Captain. "Can we just say that Elena affects us all? I'm mean, blimey, she's built like the bloody HMS Rodney! She could probably crush Tower Bridge with those thighs!" Mummmpphh! Glaaaaak. Nnnnunnnffff."

"Oh, crap, somebody's going to have to find the captain a new hat," laughed Dani.

"I love all my fans," said Elena thoughtfully, "but some of you are really completely mad. It's my supply, isn't it? Oy, my supply makes me crazy, too!"

miffedmax
Mar 31st, 2007, 05:31 AM
"Your what?" asked Altair.

"You are familiar, my supply!"

"Oh no," cried the Captain. "Elena has been taken over by the machine translater. She's starting to make less sense than Anastasia!"

"Hey, don't dog my #2 fave!" Max stepped toward the captain.

"Dude, she did give us the classic 'if she gets up on the right leg, she can play' quote."

"True," said Max.

"Oh, assistance to give me please! It me tortures!" Elena is near tears.

"Things are going to hell in a handbag," says MC8114. "Flavia is missing, Mommy Vera just found out about Maxim, Elena's talking like a machine translation and some mysterious person is sneaking in and out of Dani's room! Whatever will happen next?"

Just then, Nastac enters. "You shouldn't have asked, she said.

Danči Dementia
Apr 1st, 2007, 03:18 AM
:worship: :worship: :worship:


To all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



México !!!!
México !!!!
México !!!!
México !!!!

:lol: :lol: