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amirhendel
Mar 2nd, 2007, 10:31 PM
except ALG:p

Demska
Mar 2nd, 2007, 10:55 PM
Then I have none. :P

suffer well
Mar 2nd, 2007, 11:02 PM
I may have exaggerated a bit when I said that 80 per cent of the top women tennis players are fat pigs. It's only 75 per cent.
Richard Krajicek (1992)

Wayn77
Mar 2nd, 2007, 11:08 PM
http://jokes4all.net/funpics/tennis_cat.jpg

pigam
Mar 2nd, 2007, 11:09 PM
A belgian joke.

"Why does Justine Henin always wear a cap?
- to distinguish her front from her back.

Why isn't Justine pregnant yet?
- because she doesn't wear her cap at night"

;)

suffer well
Mar 2nd, 2007, 11:10 PM
http://jokes4all.net/funpics/tennis_cat.jpg

That’s one pussy I wouldn’t mind receiving….

Wayn77
Mar 2nd, 2007, 11:10 PM
A belgian joke.

"Why does Justine Henin always wear a cap?
- to distinguish her front from her back.

Why isn't Justine pregnant yet?
- because she doesn't wear her cap at night"

;)

very BELGIAN ;) ;)

Russianboy
Mar 2nd, 2007, 11:11 PM
Then I have none. :P

:lol: :lol:

pigam
Mar 2nd, 2007, 11:15 PM
very BELGIAN ;) ;)

maybe I didn't translate correctly.
i think it's quite funny tho a tad rude :p

égalité
Mar 2nd, 2007, 11:23 PM
maybe I didn't translate correctly.
i think it's quite funny tho a tad rude :p

No, I think you translated it just fine :rolls:

Tenis Srbija
Mar 2nd, 2007, 11:27 PM
http://jokes4all.net/funpics/tennis_cat.jpg

:lol: :lol: :lol:

A belgian joke.

"Why does Justine Henin always wear a cap?
- to distinguish her front from her back.

Why isn't Justine pregnant yet?
- because she doesn't wear her cap at night"

;)

:lol: :tape:

Tenis Srbija
Mar 2nd, 2007, 11:38 PM
:haha: Blondy :haha: :haha: :haha:

It's orange by the way :lol:

MarineGoTati
Mar 3rd, 2007, 12:02 AM
:haha: Blondy :haha: :haha: :haha:

It's orange by the way :lol:

Marat too was a blonde

hingisGOAT
Mar 3rd, 2007, 12:17 AM
How many Williams sisters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Tenis Srbija
Mar 3rd, 2007, 12:26 AM
...???

azdaja
Mar 3rd, 2007, 12:33 AM
i know one:

Tenis Srbija is the editor of the most popular Serbian tennis website

:lol: :rolls: :haha: :tears:

edit: not sure if that's "tennis" enough, though :o

Sir Stefwhit
Mar 3rd, 2007, 01:00 AM
I made up a joke about Kournikova a long time ago, but read it with caution (it's not that great):

Why did all the women on tour hate Kournikova and all the men on tour love her?

Becuase she SUCKS...

(Get it Sucks as in, well, u know... told you it was stupid but it's 100% original...hahaha)

joaco
Mar 3rd, 2007, 01:37 AM
don't get the ALG joke.... :confused:

jrm
Mar 3rd, 2007, 01:47 AM
Capriati went on audition for Free Willy 3 for the role of Free Willy and got rejected. Casting director said: No professionals, please!

Tenis Srbija
Mar 3rd, 2007, 01:50 AM
i know one:

Tenis Srbija is the editor of the most popular Serbian tennis website

:lol: :rolls: :haha: :tears:

edit: not sure if that's "tennis" enough, though :o

:rolleyes:

Anyway, tnx for mentioning me once again :wavey: :) I have a fan here:lol: :tape:

Bruno71
Mar 3rd, 2007, 01:53 AM
"Why does Justine Henin always wear a cap?
- to distinguish her front from her back.



:lol: :worship:

!<blocparty>!
Mar 3rd, 2007, 02:26 AM
I made up a joke about Kournikova a long time ago, but read it with caution (it's not that great):

Why did all the women on tour hate Kournikova and all the men on tour love her?

Becuase she SUCKS...

(Get it Sucks as in, well, u know... told you it was stupid but it's 100% original...hahaha)

Um, yeah. I think everyone got it.

That's the worst joke I've heard in a long, long time. Congrats. :)

geri234
Mar 3rd, 2007, 09:36 AM
I have a nice one, but it is 100% wrong to say:

Why the croats are'nt good tennis players?
Because they have problems with the serbs (serves)...

In Hebrew it sounds better.

Meteor Shower
Mar 3rd, 2007, 09:43 AM
I just made one :o kinda lame

Amelie Mauresmo and Venus Williams fought for the Diamond Racquet.
Which one took it?

.

.

.

.

Katerina Bohmova :o

ce
Mar 3rd, 2007, 11:17 AM
I have a nice one, but it is 100% wrong to say:

Why the croats are'nt good tennis players?
Because they have problems with the serbs (serves)...

In Hebrew it sounds better.

:lol:

LefandePatty
Mar 3rd, 2007, 12:20 PM
I just made one :o kinda lame

Amelie Mauresmo and Venus Williams fought for the Diamond Racquet.
Which one took it?

.

.

.

.

Katerina Bohmova :o

:haha: :rolls: :lol:

Jakub
Mar 3rd, 2007, 12:39 PM
there is one joke in Poland about tennis I know, but it is a kind of "word game" so it might be hard to understand for you, and I need to change the words that it makes a bit of sense:


One man comes to visit his friend and sees a big tennis court at his playground. Few thousand people can watch the match. He comes closer and sees that Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi are playing. Then he asks:
- How did you get all the money to have this ?
- You know, I have a gold fish, who makes one wish come true.
- Please, can I borrow it for one day. I will bring it back tomorrow.
- Ok. But remember you have to talk to her clearly.
He borrowed gold fish and and came back home. He put her on the table and said:
- My gold fish ! I want a hill of gold !
Gold fish said:
- Ok. Go to bed, tomorrow your will have you wish come through.
He wakes up next day and his house is covered up with a hill of salt. He caught the fish and went back to his friend.
- What did you give me !! I wanted a hill of gold and she gave me a hill of salt
His friend responds:
- I told you she is a bit deaf. Do you think I wanted to have a big tennis ?? !!

--
I hope you got it ;)
In polish the "word game" is:
góra złota = > hill of gold
góra błota = > hill of mud
"złota & błota" makes it more similar then "gold & salt",
the second part is the same :tape:

A'DAM
Mar 3rd, 2007, 01:06 PM
I just made one :o kinda lame

Amelie Mauresmo and Venus Williams fought for the Diamond Racquet.
Which one took it?

.

.

.

.

Katerina Bohmova :o

:haha: :haha: :haha:

Groenefelder25
Mar 3rd, 2007, 01:09 PM
i got the worst one ever


what time do tennis players get up?

about tenish:wavey:

Chrissie-fan
Mar 3rd, 2007, 01:15 PM
Q: What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball?
A: See you around.

Q: What is a horse's favorite sport?
A: Stable tennis.

Q: Where do ghosts play tennis?
A: On a tennis corpse.

Q: What do you serve but not eat?
A: A tennis ball.

Q: Why are fish never good tennis players?
A: They don't like getting close to the net.

Q: Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A: So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.

Hashim.
Mar 3rd, 2007, 01:18 PM
Q: What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball?
A: See you around.

Q: What is a horse's favorite sport?
A: Stable tennis.

Q: Where do ghosts play tennis?
A: On a tennis corpse.

Q: What do you serve but not eat?
A: A tennis ball.

Q: Why are fish never good tennis players?
A: They don't like getting close to the net.

Q: Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A: So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.

:yeah:

Meteor Shower
Mar 3rd, 2007, 01:22 PM
:)


Q: Why are fish never good tennis players?
A: They don't like getting close to the net.

:lol: :lol: this one got me laughing out loud. :yeah:

I didn't get the ghost one :help:

Chrissie-fan
Mar 3rd, 2007, 01:24 PM
:)



:lol: :lol: this one got me laughing out loud. :yeah:

I didn't get the ghost one :help:
corpse=court ;)

Chrissie-fan
Mar 3rd, 2007, 01:39 PM
While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing no one around it belonged to , he slipped it into the pockets of his shorts.

Later, on his way home he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A blonde girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?", she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.

"Tennis ball", came the breathless reply.

"Oh, that must be painfull, said the blonde, "I had tennis elbow once..."

juju4eva
Mar 3rd, 2007, 01:59 PM
While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing no one around it belonged to , he slipped it into the pockets of his shorts.

Later, on his way home he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A blonde girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?", she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.

"Tennis ball", came the breathless reply.

"Oh, that must be painfull, said the blonde, "I had tennis elbow once..."

OMG THAT ONE IS A CLASSIC!!!:worship:

rockstar
Mar 3rd, 2007, 02:37 PM
there is one joke in Poland about tennis I know, but it is a kind of "word game" so it maight be hard to understand for you, and I need to change the words that it makes a bit of sense:


One man comes to visit his friend and sees a big tennis court at his playground. Few thousand people can watch the match. He comes closer and sees that Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi are playing. Then he asks:
- How did you get all the money to have this ?
- You know, I have a gold fish, who makes one wish come true.
- Please, can I borrow it for one day. I will bring it back tomorrow.
- Ok. But remember you have to talk to her clearly.
He borrowed gold fish and and came back home. He put her on the table and said:
- My gold fish ! I want a hill of gold !
Gold fish said:
- Ok. Go to bed, tomorrow your will have you wish come through.
He wakes up next day and his house is covered up with a hill of salt. He caught the fish and went back to his friend.
- What did you give me !! I wanted a hill of gold and she gave me a hill of salt
His friend responds:
- I told you she is a bit deaf. Do you think I wanted to have a big tennis ?? !!

--
I hope you got it ;)
In polish the "word game" here is:
góra złota = > hill of gold
góra błota = > hill of mud
"złota & błota" makes it more similar then "gold & salt",
the second part is the same :tape:

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing no one around it belonged to , he slipped it into the pockets of his shorts.

Later, on his way home he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A blonde girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?", she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.

"Tennis ball", came the breathless reply.

"Oh, that must be painfull, said the blonde, "I had tennis elbow once..."

haha, pretty good ones :lol:

Meteor Shower
Mar 3rd, 2007, 03:17 PM
Q: How did the umpire helped Amelie and Kim to get their first GS title?
A: He gave them some new balls.

:drumsroll:

miffedmax
Mar 3rd, 2007, 07:44 PM
Q: Why should you never try to have a relationship with a tennis player?

A: Because love means nothing to them.

Lillibet
Mar 3rd, 2007, 07:49 PM
While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing no one around it belonged to , he slipped it into the pockets of his shorts.

Later, on his way home he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A blonde girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?", she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.

"Tennis ball", came the breathless reply.

"Oh, that must be painfull, said the blonde, "I had tennis elbow once..."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

this is great!

really great, love it!

:)

LoveFifteen
Mar 3rd, 2007, 08:27 PM
When Pierre-Yves was a little boy, all the guys at school called him gay. One day he came home crying, and his mother asked him what was wrong.

"Everyone at school is calling me gay," he sobbed.

"That's terrible," said his mother. "What did you do?"

Little Pierre-Yves replied, "I told them that if anyone else called me gay, I'd hit them with my purse."

Ellery
Mar 3rd, 2007, 08:35 PM
Q: Why should you never try to have a relationship with a tennis player?

A: Because love means nothing to them.

Good one :)

Chrissie-fan
Mar 3rd, 2007, 09:12 PM
After a two year study, the national science foundation announced the following result on America's recreational preferences:

1.The sport of choice for unemployed people is basketball
2.The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling
3.The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is football
4.The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball
5.The sport of choice for middle management is tennis
6.The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf

Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

Marcus Jordan
Mar 3rd, 2007, 09:54 PM
Q: Why Did The Tennis Ball Cross The Net?

A: To Get To The Other Side!

Shahar27
Mar 3rd, 2007, 10:38 PM
This is pretty funny

http://www.fuzzysignal.com/tennis/cartoons/henmania.gif


To err is human. To put the blame on someone else is doubles.

Marcus Jordan
Mar 3rd, 2007, 10:44 PM
This is pretty funny

http://www.fuzzysignal.com/tennis/cartoons/henmania.gif


To err is human. To put the blame on someone else is doubles.

LOL look at your avatar

Shahar27
Mar 3rd, 2007, 10:53 PM
LOL look at your avatar

What about it?

LoveFifteen
Mar 3rd, 2007, 10:58 PM
What's the worst part about eating vegetables?














Putting them back in their wheelchairs.

nsquare
Mar 4th, 2007, 06:55 AM
The Tennis Player's Prayer
Please don't let me be so nervous
When I toss the ball for service.

Give me speed and strength unhaulting,
Aces and no double-faulting.

Instill in me the skill and dash
Of Agassiie, Venus, Roddick and Ashe.

When a high lob starts to fall,
Must I always miss the ball?

Lord, I know you could, I'm sure,
Find me a Tennis Elbow cure.

With the guidance from above,
Never let me fall in 'love.'

And, Lord, while on matters of this sort
Please let me find an open court!!
I found this in some site.but i dont know if it is funny enough