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View Full Version : Who actually uses the term "to make love?" It's "to have sex" Goddamnit


Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 12th, 2007, 11:13 PM
I don't like to make threads about sex. Sex threads are too "I'm an 18-year-old virgin" for me. But this is about sex jargon, not the physical experience! Anyway this has been really bugging me, for the longest time and I want public opinion on this important matter.

I have never in my life said, "we made love last nite" or "let's make love." Do people actually say that? I know people like to THINK the term "making love" is reserved for relationships where people are truly, deeply, madly in adoration of one another. And no, I have never had a relationship like that, but I had a mature relationship. Those words were only spoken once and it felt so insincere. Do people think they're supposed to say that because they see it in the movies, or it's romantic or because it's politically correct to say in a non-casual setting?

Furthermore, I recently read a tell-all interview with Britney Spears' ex-boyfriend of a month, Isaac Cohen, and he said many times over how they "made love." I am sure they were not in love, and he himself made it very clear it was very much a rebound relationship saying Britney was not over Kevin and kept her wedding dress framed on the wall and that every second he had to reassure her she wasn't fat. So why would he use that term for such a short-term relationship that was obviously a rebound for Britney Spears?

Sugar_Kane
Feb 12th, 2007, 11:19 PM
This thread is so 18 year old Virgin!

mirzalover
Feb 12th, 2007, 11:19 PM
i hate when people say that to I'm a 17 year and I've had sex before and at no point did i say lets make love!!!!!! I say i'm gonna wear you the fuck out tonight girl or You in trouble tonight. Or I'm so fucking horny or I dont say anything and it just happens

¤CharlDa¤
Feb 12th, 2007, 11:19 PM
Cause it was a magasine and having sex was too brutal I guess.

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 12th, 2007, 11:22 PM
This thread is so 18 year old Virgin!


Anna rocks, your avatar rocks, but your comment doesn't! This thread is not an "18-year-old virgin" moment! Hmph

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 12th, 2007, 11:24 PM
i hate when people say that to I'm a 17 year and I've had sex before and at no point did i say lets make love!!!!!! I say i'm gonna wear you the fuck out tonight girl or You in trouble tonight. Or I'm so fucking horny or I dont say anything and it just happens

lol. This is very realistic. I think the media promotes an ideal version of sex talk and the public foolishly thinks they have to adhere to it! I mean, who the hell says that!

!<blocparty>!
Feb 12th, 2007, 11:31 PM
Making love and having sex are two completely different things.

Isaac Cohen and Britney Spears, lolz. It was rebound sex. He's just a dumbass if he actually thought they made love.

Sugar_Kane
Feb 12th, 2007, 11:38 PM
Anna rocks, your avatar rocks, but your comment doesn't! This thread is not an "18-year-old virgin" moment! Hmph

Thanks, and I was only joking it's just because you said about sex threads usually being made by 18 year old virgins :p

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 12th, 2007, 11:42 PM
Making love and having sex are two completely different things.


Really? Elaborate.

Because I just feel like one term exists and the other is nothing more than romantic jargon that people don't actually say--they think they're supposed to say it someday, but it sounds ridiculous and dramatic when it is actually said

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 12th, 2007, 11:43 PM
Thanks, and I was only joking it's just because you said about sex threads usually being made by 18 year old virgins :p

I was joking too... but i am bad at getting my jokes out clear, haha

BigB08822
Feb 12th, 2007, 11:59 PM
Just because you have never "made love" doesn't mean other people haven't. I believe there is a very big difference in making love and having sex. I have had plenty of sex but I am not sure I have ever truly made love. I know one day I will or atleast I hope I will. I don't have to have experienced it to know it exists.

controlfreak
Feb 13th, 2007, 12:32 AM
Ideally we would have sex and then she can make love to herself for a couple of hours while I go downstairs to make some food / phone calls / online purchases.

WhatTheDeuce
Feb 13th, 2007, 12:45 AM
I say i'm gonna wear you the fuck out tonight girl or You in trouble tonight. Or I'm so fucking horny or I dont say anything and it just happens
LMFAO.

mirzalover
Feb 13th, 2007, 12:50 AM
Ideally we would have sex and then she can make love to herself for a couple of hours while I go downstairs to make some food / phone calls / online purchases.

I like your style :)

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 13th, 2007, 01:23 AM
Just because you have never "made love" doesn't mean other people haven't. I believe there is a very big difference in making love and having sex. I have had plenty of sex but I am not sure I have ever truly made love. I know one day I will or atleast I hope I will. I don't have to have experienced it to know it exists.

I think you're missing the point. I am not talking about the ACT of sex vs. the "alleged" ACT of making love! I am talking about sex jargon... the way people talk about sex. I want to know if people use the verb "to make love" as opposed to the verb "to have sex" in conversation. Capisce?

kittyking
Feb 13th, 2007, 02:08 AM
Who actually uses the term "to make love?"

Answer: Christians

stevos
Feb 13th, 2007, 02:14 AM
Who actually uses the term "to make love?"

Answer: Christians

:mad:

Theres none better than "christian" love-making, I'd say. :angel:

:lol: I think sometimes people use it to be more politically correct, but there is a difference between "making love", "having sex", and "f**cking*.

I'd say they all are different experiences.

skanky~skanketta
Feb 13th, 2007, 03:11 AM
i personally don't say make love. i find it uncomfortable.

Dementieva_Dude
Feb 13th, 2007, 03:18 AM
To me, saying "making love" sounds like some big romanticized tantric-sex experience, in a seedy motel hotel room with rose petals and stuff...I personally never use the phrase.

In my experience, people who say they are "making love" are trying to make the experience sound MUCH more emotional and loving than it actually was, and are over-compensating.

rockwithme
Feb 13th, 2007, 03:52 AM
Cause it was a magasine and having sex was too brutal I guess.

:lol:
"having sex" is good enough for me, "making love" is too awkward a phrase and i felt like the biggest cornball when i spat those words out---once :tape: not much better being on the receiving end of it either :scared:

however, i must agree that "having sex" and "fucking" are two different experiences ;)

Marcus Jordan
Feb 13th, 2007, 03:56 AM
no its to make sex u videots

drake3781
Feb 13th, 2007, 04:01 AM
What really bothers me is the term "sleep together".

I don't much like "making love", but at least it implies sex is happening.

"Sleeping together" tries to gloss over that point, as if it shouldn't be mentioned.

I prefer the sex part of it to be mentioned. ;)

No Name Face
Feb 13th, 2007, 04:13 AM
i don't use make love either. it seems awkward. i say 'fucking'. not as romantic, but it gets the point across.

SelesFan70
Feb 13th, 2007, 04:15 AM
i don't use make love either. it seems awkward. i say 'fucking'. not as romantic, but it gets the point across.

:worship:

skanky~skanketta
Feb 13th, 2007, 04:30 AM
let's all face it. let's fuck sounds the best.

Brett.
Feb 13th, 2007, 04:37 AM
I like to face a point on this certain situation that I decided to face "to make love" than going for sex! I like to have a mature relationship which can gain your qualities in your life, even like going overseas would be interesting and also holding your hands in public area! ;) I love snuggles than sex! :hearts:

Jakeev
Feb 13th, 2007, 04:39 AM
I don't like to make threads about sex. Sex threads are too "I'm an 18-year-old virgin" for me. But this is about sex jargon, not the physical experience! Anyway this has been really bugging me, for the longest time and I want public opinion on this important matter.

I have never in my life said, "we made love last nite" or "let's make love." Do people actually say that? I know people like to THINK the term "making love" is reserved for relationships where people are truly, deeply, madly in adoration of one another. And no, I have never had a relationship like that, but I had a mature relationship. Those words were only spoken once and it felt so insincere. Do people think they're supposed to say that because they see it in the movies, or it's romantic or because it's politically correct to say in a non-casual setting?

Furthermore, I recently read a tell-all interview with Britney Spears' ex-boyfriend of a month, Isaac Cohen, and he said many times over how they "made love." I am sure they were not in love, and he himself made it very clear it was very much a rebound relationship saying Britney was not over Kevin and kept her wedding dress framed on the wall and that every second he had to reassure her she wasn't fat. So why would he use that term for such a short-term relationship that was obviously a rebound for Britney Spears?

Just out of curiosity, I'm just wondering how you would react if a dumb truck crashed through your window at home? If this post is any indication, I'd be scared to be around you.......

SelesFan70
Feb 13th, 2007, 04:40 AM
let's all face it. let's fuck sounds the best.

Especially if you don't know, or can't remember his/her name... :tape:

Brett.
Feb 13th, 2007, 04:43 AM
Especially if you don't know, or can't remember his/her name... :tape:

I guess he had too many sex and cannot reveal any secret that he cannot remember! :tape:

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 13th, 2007, 05:33 AM
:lol:
"having sex" is good enough for me, "making love" is too awkward a phrase and i felt like the biggest cornball when i spat those words out---once :tape: not much better being on the receiving end of it either :scared:

however, i must agree that "having sex" and "fucking" are two different experiences ;)



lol, i agree. i said it once. and I was like, wtf. Did I really just say that? I know it killed the mood. I don't think people are capable of saying it in the act without feeling like a doofus the second later. People say, "I wanna fuck your brains out" and "harder, harder." So when people are even being politically correct in a social setting and saying "make love," I still hate that. Despite the setting, we know the dirty things we really say, so it sounds incredibly cheesy to say "make love."

I don't expect people to be vulgar in a social setting, but there are ways to refer to sex I think without being vulgar and without sounding cheesy in an attempt to not sound vulgar.

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 13th, 2007, 05:35 AM
What really bothers me is the term "sleep together".

I don't much like "making love", but at least it implies sex is happening.

"Sleeping together" tries to gloss over that point, as if it shouldn't be mentioned.

I prefer the sex part of it to be mentioned. ;)


Lol, that makes me think of sex and the city or something, like 40-somethings who don't want to sound like their 21???

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 13th, 2007, 05:37 AM
In my experience, people who say they are "making love" are trying to make the experience sound MUCH more emotional and loving than it actually was, and are over-compensating.

agreed.

Andy.
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:46 AM
The Term making love makes me want to throw up who uses that Yuck

mandy7
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:53 AM
I LOVE my baby, but we HAVE SEX!

sarza
Feb 13th, 2007, 08:33 AM
I seem to be the only one that makes love, although say i am talking to friend i use the word sex, but if im talking with my hunny i say make love!!!

*abby*
Feb 13th, 2007, 08:37 AM
i imagine that i'll make love on my wedding night as oppose to having sex but to say it out loud anywhere other than a text message would be a bit wierd!

mandy7
Feb 13th, 2007, 08:42 AM
how do you MAKE love anyhow :shrug:

rockwithme
Feb 13th, 2007, 08:49 AM
dunno
having sex def seems easier

meyerpl
Feb 13th, 2007, 10:26 AM
I think "driving the meat wagon through Tuna Town" sounds the nicest.

Dementieva_Dude
Feb 13th, 2007, 02:39 PM
I think "driving the meat wagon through Tuna Town" sounds the nicest.

:spit:
*note to self...encourage straight friends to use that line on Valentines Day*

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 13th, 2007, 05:54 PM
i imagine that i'll make love on my wedding night as oppose to having sex but to say it out loud anywhere other than a text message would be a bit wierd!

text messages? you use it in text messages!!! :o

*abby*
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:02 PM
yes i have said it in a text message before what is your point?
im in a commited long term relationship whats so wierd about using a term that is synonomous with the sensual, emotional, act of two people commiting themselves to each other?
just cos i dont talk about shagging doesnt make me a wierdo

Helen Lawson
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:03 PM
I think "driving the meat wagon through Tuna Town" sounds the nicest.

I always liked the terms "Laying Pipe" or "Uprising in Box Canyon."

Kart
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:12 PM
Just out of curiosity, I'm just wondering how you would react if a dumb truck crashed through your window at home? If this post is any indication, I'd be scared to be around you.......


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

On topic, I sometimes use the term 'making love.'

tennisIlove09
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:18 PM
There is a difference between making love and having sex.

I love my boyfriend, so whe we have sex, we make love. I think there is more feeling attached to "making love" as opposed to sex. Any two people can have sex at any time. Not true with making love.

*abby*
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:25 PM
spot on!:)

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:35 PM
yes i have said it in a text message before what is your point?

my point is I am shocked, because I have stated time and time again in this thread, I don't know anyone who really says that, and that incredulity is apparent in the thread title. Others in this thread have had the same sentiment. So to see someone step up and claim the use the term is "shocking," for me. It's not wrong, it's not unacceptable, I'm not criticizing you! I was just shocked that someone actually uses it, and to use it in a text... phone messaging is very informal... which made it more shocking to me... because people say tender things to one another--to their face and what not. In conversation. So it is interesting to know you resort to the term in text messaging because that's a very ambiguous form of "conversation"

im in a commited long term relationship whats so wierd about using a term that is synonomous with the sensual, emotional, act of two people commiting themselves to each other?

i never said it was weird.

just cos i dont talk about shagging doesnt make me a wierdo

Once again, I never said or implied you were weird, or a weirdo. I like to think I am the number one weirdo. Okay! And no one said anything about you not liking to talk about sex. So what's with that reaction? And furthermore, this thread isn't even about talking about having sex. It's simply about how people verbalize the act of sex in conversation. Nevertheless, I see people are still getting lost in translation

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:39 PM
There is a difference between making love and having sex.

I love my boyfriend, so whe we have sex, we make love. I think there is more feeling attached to "making love" as opposed to sex. Any two people can have sex at any time. Not true with making love.

That's great. Wonderful. I am happy for you that you have a very passionate and loving sex life. But you're not addressing the point of the thread. I want to know in conversation, do you say, "to make love" or "to have sex"? What is your verb choice?

WhatTheDeuce
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:40 PM
That's great. Wonderful. I am happy for you that you have a very passionate and loving sex life. But you're not addressing the point of the thread. I want to know in conversation, do you say, "to make love" or "to have sex"? What is your verb choice?
I think he's saying he would use "make love" if he was making love, and "have sex" if he was just having sex.

tennisIlove09
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:42 PM
That's great. Wonderful. I am happy for you that you have a very passionate and loving sex life. But you're not addressing the point of the thread. I want to know in conversation, do you say, "to make love" or "to have sex"? What is your verb choice?

mmm, it depends. Sometimes we say "lets make love" other times we say "lets have sex"

we say both.

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:48 PM
I think he's saying he would use "make love" if he was making love, and "have sex" if he was just having sex.

I think that his post is too obscure to make your statement, especially because nothing reveals how he would verbalize it in a casual or formal conversation outside of an intimate setting.

*abby*
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:49 PM
i am away at uni and so text messaging is my main way of communicating with my boyfriend. just cause we talk via sms doesnt mean we dont have tender, intimate converstations.
we have slushy soppy conversations via text all the time, it doesnt make them any less meaningful nor does it make anything we say to each other any less meanigful
making love is a more tender, loving way of putting it and like it has been said, more emotion is attatched to the term than to having sex.

and the last part, i wasnt talking about having sex, i meant just because i dont say words like shag or f**k or whatever doesnt make me odd.

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:50 PM
mmm, it depends. Sometimes we say "lets make love" other times we say "lets have sex"

we say both.

well, it seems like most people would only say it to the person they actually have sex with, in the shield of privacy! would you ever say it talking with your friends at lunch... because then it becomes an awkward choice of word, no? it just does

WhatTheDeuce
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:50 PM
I think that his post is too obscure to make your statement, especially because nothing reveals how he would verbalize it in a casual or formal conversation outside of an intimate setting.
He's saying there's a difference between having sex and making love. He uses making love in his current relationship cause he's in love with the person he's having sex with. However, if he were just having casual sex with some random person, I think he'd classify it as having sex. It seemed self-explanatory to me.

You can ask him though, I shouldnt be speaking for him.

tennisIlove09
Feb 13th, 2007, 06:58 PM
well, it seems like most people would only say it to the person they actually have sex with, in the shield of privacy! would you ever say it talking with your friends at lunch... because then it becomes an awkward choice of word, no? it just does

No, I cant say my boyfriend and go around saying "oh we are going home to make love" or "we are going home to have sex".

our friends dont need to know, nor do they care.

CondiLicious
Feb 13th, 2007, 07:06 PM
"make love" sounds like something old people or slushy, icky Celine Dion-esque people would say.

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 13th, 2007, 07:20 PM
No, I cant say my boyfriend and go around saying "oh we are going home to make love" or "we are going home to have sex".

our friends dont need to know, nor do they care.

Thank you for speaking for yourself and not getting all hot and bothered over nothing!

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 13th, 2007, 07:30 PM
i am away at uni and so text messaging is my main way of communicating with my boyfriend. just cause we talk via sms doesnt mean we dont have tender, intimate converstations.

I never said you didn't have them. And I think there is nothing wrong with text messaging... my boyfriend, we rarely talked on the phone because we both don't like talking on the phone. But I find text messaging a bit awkward as well. It takes a while to type everything, and you have to edit everything into a short message, so some things I type, I feel like it's cheesy for it to be typed instead of said.

making love is a more tender, loving way of putting it and like it has been said, more emotion is attatched to the term than to having sex.

well, i agree with that, and I stated that same opinion in previous posts. But I feel like the media and maybe tradition has a lot to do with the legacy and implications of the term "to make love"

and the last part, i wasnt talking about having sex, i meant just because i dont say words like shag or f**k or whatever doesnt make me odd.

okay. well, I never said you were odd or implied it. lol. you never even gave me a clue as to how you talk about sex. I only remarked on the text message statement. But I don't think you're odd, or weird, or a weirdo

James
Feb 13th, 2007, 07:31 PM
I guess people use the words they pick up in their social circle. Some people will feel more comfortable with one term, others with another.

Kart
Feb 13th, 2007, 08:13 PM
I guess people use the words they pick up in their social circle.

So which term do you use the most then ?

James
Feb 13th, 2007, 08:14 PM
So which term do you use the most then ?

It would not be of use to the discussion at hand, since I use the Dutch equivalents.

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 13th, 2007, 08:15 PM
lol

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 13th, 2007, 08:41 PM
It would not be of use to the discussion at hand, since I use the Dutch equivalents.


James, btw, I just wanna say, in the spirit of Valentine's Day, I love you... how do you say "you're a hot, sexy, bitch" in Dutch?

James
Feb 13th, 2007, 08:52 PM
James, btw, I just wanna say, in the spirit of Valentine's Day, I love you... how do you say "you're a hot, sexy, bitch" in Dutch?

There are several ways to say that, for instance: "Je bent een lekkere sexy meid".

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 13th, 2007, 09:05 PM
lol, at your rep...

Watch "Je bent een lekkere sexy meid" REALLY mean something rude like stop stalking me, lol. Not. I see there's no translation for the word "sexy," so I guess i can believe you!

James
Feb 13th, 2007, 09:10 PM
lol, at your rep...

Watch "Je bent een lekkere sexy meid" REALLY mean something rude like stop stalking me, lol. Not. I see there's no translation for the word "sexy," so I guess i can believe you!

No, it really is what you meant it to be. This is what you could actually say to a Dutch girl. Whether every Dutch girl will appreciate the statement, is another matter though. ;)

Gonzo Hates Me!
Feb 13th, 2007, 09:12 PM
That's why you say it to a Dutch guy... called James... and then find out... he's gay!

James
Feb 13th, 2007, 09:15 PM
That's why you say it to a Dutch guy... called James... and then find out... he's gay!

Painful moment then. :p But isn't bitch supposed to be female anyway? If you had wanted to say it to me, you would have to say: "Je bent een lekkere, sexy jongen". You'd be completely wrong, but the sentence would be grammatically correct. :lol:

Rocketta
Feb 13th, 2007, 09:55 PM
So which term do you use the most then ?

and why do you want to know? :rolleyes:

Brett.
Feb 14th, 2007, 05:37 AM
I LOVE my baby, but we HAVE SEX!

:eek: :eek:You're too young to have a baby! :eek:

James
Feb 14th, 2007, 05:48 AM
and why do you want to know? :rolleyes:

He is genuinely interested in how I feel. :p

James
Feb 14th, 2007, 05:49 AM
:eek: :eek:You're too young to have a baby! :eek:

Brettles, there are more meanings to the word baby. :p

Brett.
Feb 14th, 2007, 05:53 AM
Brettles, there are more meanings to the word baby. :p

:ras: I already knew that, but i was kidding! :lol:

Kart
Feb 14th, 2007, 11:44 AM
and why do you want to know? :rolleyes:

I'm curious about Dutch dialects obviously :p.

He is genuinely interested in how I feel. :p

That too ;).

meyerpl
Feb 14th, 2007, 02:37 PM
let's all face it. let's fuck sounds the best.

When some people say it, it sounds delightful; while when others do, it sounds vulger.

-Ph51-
Feb 14th, 2007, 05:19 PM
Many of you won't agree, but i prefer to make love than to have sex. :angel: