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View Full Version : Keep Jesus Off My Penis


Infiniti2001
Feb 11th, 2007, 07:13 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exDo2SMdB-0 :lol: :help:

Wigglytuff
Feb 11th, 2007, 07:35 AM
so very very very very true.

kittyking
Feb 11th, 2007, 07:43 AM
:haha: im gonna remember that for sometime to come

Berlin_Calling
Feb 11th, 2007, 07:53 AM
Not only is this video offensive to loads of people, the singer is a big hick and a huge tool. :help:

Wigglytuff
Feb 11th, 2007, 08:02 AM
Not only is this video offensive to loads of people, the singer is a big hick and a huge tool. :help:

fuck people who defend child molesting priests. let them be offended (and suffer lots of ill will and have horrible horrible things happen to them)

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :cool: :cool:

LudwigDvorak
Feb 11th, 2007, 08:25 AM
It wasn't funny, but I more or less agree with his sentiments.

CooCooCachoo
Feb 11th, 2007, 08:36 AM
It wasn't funny, but I more or less agree with his sentiments.

Ditto.

It was funny for the first five seconds only.

Berlin_Calling
Feb 11th, 2007, 08:42 AM
fuck people who defend child molesting priests. let them be offended (and suffer lots of ill will and have horrible horrible things happen to them)

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :cool: :cool:

last time i checked, this video wasnt bashing just child molesting priests but Christianity as a whole... And with your statement here, you are basically saying all Christians defend child molesting priests which is both :bs: and a truly narrowminded and despicable generalization. sane Christians want child molesting priests to be locked up as much as the next person.

Wigglytuff
Feb 11th, 2007, 11:16 AM
last time i checked, this video wasnt bashing just child molesting priests but Christianity as a whole... And with your statement here, you are basically saying all Christians defend child molesting priests which is both :bs: and a truly narrowminded and despicable generalization. sane Christians want child molesting priests to be locked up as much as the next person.

:lol: :lol: :rolls: :rolls: :rolls: :rolls: :rolls: :rolls: :bolt:

Marshmallow
Feb 11th, 2007, 01:55 PM
I think unfortunately that VULGAR chorus will turn people off, what is actually a very good, interesting and witty piece. I actually really liked that. I'd like to meet this man... *swoon* :tape:

DemWilliamsGulls
Feb 11th, 2007, 03:03 PM
It wasnt cute to me either...if you want to be a atheist...that your business...but I dont play with the Lord like that...

harloo
Feb 11th, 2007, 04:03 PM
I agree with his sentiment about priest's, but I thought the entire thing was crass and humourless. Alot of misconceptions about Christians in general seemed to be his focus and I'm not down with that at all.

drake3781
Feb 11th, 2007, 05:03 PM
last time i checked, this video wasnt bashing just child molesting priests but Christianity as a whole

He is only bashing Christianity as a whole to the extent that it forces itself on non-Christians.

That is tihe point of the piece, duh. :rolleyes:

What do you think about Christianity forcing itself on non-Christians? That should be the point of any discussion, and if you missed the point then clear it up now.

kabuki
Feb 11th, 2007, 05:15 PM
There's nothing funny about zealotry.

Wigglytuff
Feb 11th, 2007, 05:28 PM
He is only bashing Christianity as a whole to the extent that it forces itself on non-Christians.

That is tihe point of the piece, duh. :rolleyes:

What do you think about Christianity forcing itself on non-Christians? That should be the point of any discussion, and if you missed the point then clear it up now.

Exactly!!!!

Wigglytuff
Feb 11th, 2007, 05:37 PM
It wasnt cute to me either...if you want to be a atheist...that your business...but I dont play with the Lord like that...

ummm i think some, are missing the point sometimes to the extent of verifying his statements.

what you BELIEVE should NOT be made into laws that others are forced to follow, likewise what he believes should not be forced into laws for you to follow.

yes he could say that in a way that is less offensive to some, but why? he has a right to say it. vulgar or not. and at least HIS beliefs arent printed on money, but others are.

Wigglytuff
Feb 11th, 2007, 05:49 PM
Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
You can keep the virgin mother
And the resurrection too
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you

Well I'm frickin' sick and tired
Of turning on the news
And seeing the religious right's
Ungodly fight to take our right to choose
When to bear our children
Who to love and how
Education and protection
If we're just practicing for now
So dubya look obey a book
If that's what works for you
But I don't tell you how to pray
So don't tell me how to screw

Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
You can keep the virgin mother
And the resurrection too
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you

So you're screaming bloody murder
'Bout the taliban regime
For subjugating women
And being too extreme
And basing legislation
On some ancient holy book
Does that sound a bit familiar?
Here's a mirror, have a look

And as for the ten commandments
They need one more at least
Thou shall never cover up
The acts of pervert priests
How'd they let that happen
Unless they just abhor us
Well anyway it adds
Another layer to the chorus

Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
You can keep the virgin mother
And the resurrection too
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you

So you'll execute a person
And protect a single cell
But mercy-kill the terminally ill
And you're goin' straight to hell
I don't know much about
The word of God
Far be it from me
But I can tell you what it ain't -
Hypochristianity

I am not anti-Christian
Before you grab a rope
There is beauty in religion
And joy and love and hope
We're all looking for an answer
Some colossal cosmic cause
But who the fuck are you
To turn your views into my laws?
It's just believers in the bible
That would have abortion banned
Anti-choice agnostics?
I could count'em on one hand
And as for killing babies
I have but one retort
If someone raped your daughter George
You'd beg her to abort

And if some young girl from your church
Shows up with child or some infection
`Cuz you taught her what a horrid sin
It was to use protection
One day you'll face the pearly gates
And whatchu gonna say
When that long-haired Jewish peacenick
Sends your ass the other way sayin'

Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
I've had it up to here
With all the biblibile you spew
Keep your Jesus off my penis
(at least that's what I would do)
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you
That's if'n you want me to

fun stuff.

anyway, google found me the lyrics and put them straight to bold
personally i think if you disagree with anything in bold you really are some sad sort of something, but i have already covered that part.

Berlin_Calling
Feb 11th, 2007, 08:20 PM
like it or not, the USA was founded as a Christian country by Christians. you cannot expect a country to lose all the values it was based on for so long in a heartbeat. the USA is surely becoming more liberal day by day, but the truth of the matter is, original Christian values will always be apparent to a certain extent.

AjdeNate!
Feb 11th, 2007, 08:33 PM
Now that is some funny shizz!

Wigglytuff
Feb 11th, 2007, 08:53 PM
like it or not, the USA was founded as a Christian country by Christians. you cannot expect a country to lose all the values it was based on for so long in a heartbeat. the USA is surely becoming more liberal day by day, but the truth of the matter is, original Christian values will always be apparent to a certain extent.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: looks like history is not your strong point. guess you never heard of thomas jefferson. :smash:

those who HAVE heard of the founding father might be interested to hear his views on "keeping you jesus of my penis":

"We have solved, by fair experiment, the great and interesting question whether freedom of religion is compatible with order in government and obedience to the laws. And we have experienced the quiet as well as the comfort which results from leaving every one to profess freely and openly those principles of religion which are the inductions of his own reason and the serious convictions of his own inquiries." --Thomas Jefferson: Reply to Virginia Baptists, 1808. ME 16:320

"The constitutional freedom of religion [is] the most inalienable and sacred of all human rights." --Thomas Jefferson: Virginia Board of Visitors Minutes, 1819. ME 19:416

"One of the amendments to the Constitution... expressly declares that 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press,' thereby guarding in the same sentence and under the same words, the freedom of religion, of speech, and of the press; insomuch that whatever violates either throws down the sanctuary which covers the others." --Thomas Jefferson: Draft Kentucky Resolutions, 1798. ME 17:382

"From the dissensions among Sects themselves arise necessarily a right of choosing and necessity of deliberating to which we will conform. But if we choose for ourselves, we must allow others to choose also, and so reciprocally, this establishes religious liberty." --Thomas Jefferson: Notes on Religion, 1776. Papers 1:545

"Our particular principles of religion are a subject of accountability to God alone. I inquire after no man's, and trouble none with mine." --Thomas Jefferson to Miles King, 1814. ME 14:198

"I consider the government of the United States as interdicted by the Constitution from intermeddling with religious institutions, their doctrines, discipline, or exercises. This results not only from the provision that no law shall be made respecting the establishment or free exercise of religion, but from that also which reserves to the states the powers not delegated to the United States. Certainly, no power to prescribe any religious exercise or to assume authority in religious discipline has been delegated to the General Government. It must then rest with the states, as far as it can be in any human authority." --Thomas Jefferson to Samuel Miller, 1808. ME 11:428

"I do not believe it is for the interest of religion to invite the civil magistrate to direct its exercises, its discipline, or its doctrines; nor of the religious societies, that the General Government should be invested with the power of effecting any uniformity of time or matter among them. Fasting and prayer are religious exercises. The enjoining them, an act of discipline. Every religious society has a right to determine for itself the times for these exercises and the objects proper for them according to their own particular tenets; and this right can never be safer than in their own hands where the Constitution has deposited it... Everyone must act according to the dictates of his own reason, and mine tells me that civil powers alone have been given to the President of the United States, and no authority to direct the religious exercises of his constituents." --Thomas Jefferson to Samuel Miller, 1808. ME 11:429

"Believing... that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their Legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,' thus building a wall of separation between Church and State." --Thomas Jefferson to Danbury Baptists, 1802. ME 16:281

man oh man i could go on. but those who have heard of Jefferson, and the constitution are well aware of the required separation of church and state asl\ well as why the founding fathers found it so urgent.

Wigglytuff
Feb 11th, 2007, 08:55 PM
Now that is some funny shizz!

dude your name is in bold. nice!!! :bounce: :bounce:

MrSerenaWilliams
Feb 11th, 2007, 09:09 PM
I agree with his sentiment about priest's, but I thought the entire thing was crass and humourless. Although he definately reached his audience successfully. I mean this wasn't played @ a church camp so :shrug:, and as an American he does have the right to his thoughts even if I don't agree.

It wasnt cute to me either...if you want to be a atheist...that your business...but I dont play with the Lord like that...
Well to be fair to him, even though I didn't like the piece on the whole, he wasn't talking about God, but he was talking about hypocracy and how he doesn't believe the Bible should be made into the law. However, you can't really compare the Bible to the Qu'aran (sp? :awww::shrug: )

I think unfortunately that VULGAR chorus will turn people off
yeah

last time i checked, this video wasnt bashing just child molesting priests but Christianity as a whole... And with your statement here, you are basically saying all Christians defend child molesting priests which is both :bs: and a truly narrowminded and despicable generalization. sane Christians want child molesting priests to be locked up as much as the next person.
exactly.

It wasn't funny, but I more or less agree with his sentiments.
to a lesser extent, but yeah :shrug:

RVD
Feb 11th, 2007, 09:27 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exDo2SMdB-0 :lol: :help::lol: I found that quite humorous and entertaining. :angel: Can't argue with the truth of his hillbilly rap either. :lol: However, I can't understand where the animosity stems from since he's clearly talking about imposing/forcing religion and religious-based laws upon folks who don't want or need such. :shrug: Especially if it's based upon hypocritic reasoning.
So, nothing wrong with the message, IMHO. :shrug:
He should have included a couple of hot back-up singers though. :tape:

égalité
Feb 11th, 2007, 09:45 PM
like it or not, the USA was founded as a Christian country by Christians.

That is not even remotely true.

ico4498
Feb 11th, 2007, 10:18 PM
i'm not religious. i've more than a fair amount of skeptism on religious issues ...

however, i've met & known some great folks that're believers. GOOD PEOPLE, even if i disagree spiritually...

i just give 'em props ...

respek is a two way street. even if i disagree.

Wigglytuff
Feb 11th, 2007, 11:01 PM
:lol: I found that quite humorous and entertaining. :angel: Can't argue with the truth of his hillbilly rap either. :lol: However, I can't understand where the animosity stems from since he's clearly talking about imposing/forcing religion and religious-based laws upon folks who don't want or need such. :shrug: Especially if it's based upon hypocritic reasoning.
So, nothing wrong with the message, IMHO. :shrug:
He should have included a couple of hot back-up singers though. :tape:

:worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:

hablo
Feb 11th, 2007, 11:18 PM
I grew up in a christian home, but found this to be quite entertaining (not in a funny way) just in the way it speaks the truth. ;)

meyerpl
Feb 12th, 2007, 12:01 AM
like it or not, the USA was founded as a Christian country by Christians. you cannot expect a country to lose all the values it was based on for so long in a heartbeat. the USA is surely becoming more liberal day by day, but the truth of the matter is, original Christian values will always be apparent to a certain extent.
I like the way you throw down the "like it or not" before belching out a string of untruths.

Read your American history and you'll learn that the USA was founded as a secular republic by a diverse bunch of men with varying beliefs.

As for the USA becoming more liberal every day; look at incarceration rates, the tax structure, the availability of abortions, recognition of civil liberties by the courts, enforcement of drug laws along with most foreign and domestic policies compared with thirty years ago and tell me the country is more liberal.

You're either uninformed or taking liberties with the truth.

Paneru
Feb 12th, 2007, 01:00 AM
IMO, I agree with and understand his basic point of view, I simply do not find his form of expressing it amusing. Then again, the point of these things are to be so extreme in articulation that it gets be up and listening(hopefully hearing too).

In short, he's simply pointing out the hypocracy and double
standards. And as I see it, if those you deem not like you and
you are a "Christian" and you can be proven a hypocrite in their
plain sight, what does that say about you as a "Christian".

One more thing, I deplore the political term "Christian/Religious"
Right, as if Christianity can/is under the ownership of any one
person and/or group.

harloo
Feb 12th, 2007, 01:07 AM
Although he definately reached his audience successfully. I mean this wasn't played @ a church camp so :shrug:, and as an American he does have the right to his thoughts even if I don't agree.


He does have a right to his opinion, and I share the same sentiment in regards to the religious right. However, the message is somewhat lost in his delivery because the usage of Jesus and penis in the same breathe is disrespectful. :)

meyerpl
Feb 12th, 2007, 01:39 AM
He does have a right to his opinion, and I share the same sentiment in regards to the religious right. However, the message is somewhat lost in his delivery because the usage of Jesus and penis in the same breathe is disrespectful. :)
If that's an objective measure of disrespect, guess what? You just used the words Jesus and penis in the same sentence! Wow! Dammit! So did I!!

meyerpl
Feb 12th, 2007, 01:48 AM
:lol: I found that quite humorous and entertaining. :angel: Can't argue with the truth of his hillbilly rap either. :lol: However, I can't understand where the animosity stems from since he's clearly talking about imposing/forcing religion and religious-based laws upon folks who don't want or need such. :shrug: Especially if it's based upon hypocritic reasoning.
So, nothing wrong with the message, IMHO. :shrug:
He should have included a couple of hot back-up singers though. :tape:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
I'm not sure why but this observation really cracked me up!

harloo
Feb 12th, 2007, 01:54 AM
If that's an objective measure of disrespect, guess what? You just used the words Jesus and penis in the same sentence! Wow! Dammit! So did I!!

I used those words only to illustrate what I found offensive, neither you or I are the author of such ramblings. :) :wavey:

meyerpl
Feb 12th, 2007, 02:10 AM
I used those words only to illustrate what I found offensive, neither you or I are the author of such ramblings. :) :wavey:
I get it, I was just goofing around.:wavey:

RVD
Feb 12th, 2007, 02:32 AM
:lol: :lol: :lol:
I'm not sure why but this observation really cracked me up!:lol: I just get the feeling that a couple of scantily clad, gyrating hotties would have really caused a stir. Jesus and penis in the same sentence is one thing, but hot babes bumping and grinding to the beat of a hillbilly rap would have brought the nation to it's knees. :haha: :angel:

Wigglytuff
Feb 12th, 2007, 07:51 AM
If that's an objective measure of disrespect, guess what? You just used the words Jesus and penis in the same sentence! Wow! Dammit! So did I!!

yeah i was going to say that, but you know :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :bounce: :bounce:

Wigglytuff
Feb 12th, 2007, 07:52 AM
:lol: I just get the feeling that a couple of scantily clad, gyrating hotties would have really caused a stir. Jesus and penis in the same sentence is one thing, but hot babes bumping and grinding to the beat of a hillbilly rap would have brought the nation to it's knees. :haha: :angel:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: you rock my world, as always!!

Mother_Marjorie
Feb 12th, 2007, 10:13 AM
Imagine that.

A man sings a song about his penis.

Shock.....

Kart
Feb 12th, 2007, 11:19 AM
I don't think it was funny, I thought it was quite serious.

Putting aside the attention seeking chorus, I thought it made some fair points.

Monica_Rules
Feb 12th, 2007, 12:17 PM
Lol!

Staticbeef
Feb 12th, 2007, 03:27 PM
Off my Tennis Fave also

*abby*
Feb 12th, 2007, 03:45 PM
what you BELIEVE should NOT be made into laws that others are forced to follow, likewise what he believes should not be forced into laws for you to follow.



so laws like do not murder and do not steal and such should not be laws simply because they are from a religion/from the bible?

Wigglytuff
Feb 12th, 2007, 03:52 PM
so laws like do not murder and do not steal and such should not be laws simply because they are from a religion/from the bible?

:smash: you cant be serious. are you seriously trying to imply that the only reason its illegal is because it get mention in the bible.

i cant even respond to this idea because you cant have thought this out or be serious.

*abby*
Feb 12th, 2007, 03:57 PM
fair enough i was being pedantic but come on, most of the laws in the bible (i say most because i dont know them all) are just common sense and so would have been put in place anyway.
i just think its going a bit far to say laws shouldnt be put into place if they are based on religion because that means imposing your beliefs on other people.

:inlove:
Feb 12th, 2007, 04:17 PM
:yawn:

meyerpl
Feb 13th, 2007, 11:32 AM
so laws like do not murder and do not steal and such should not be laws simply because they are from a religion/from the bible?
Malum in se.

*abby*
Feb 13th, 2007, 01:32 PM
and that means?

Andy_
Feb 13th, 2007, 01:44 PM
and that means?

That's Latin for 'bad thing in itself'.

I believe meyerpl intended to say that things like killing and stealing, which you used as examples of behaviours that are described as sins in the bible, would however be seen as something wrong (or as something that causes harm to other people) and would therefore be condemned even if no religious belief was against them.

drake3781
Feb 14th, 2007, 03:07 AM
That's Latin for 'bad thing in itself'.

I believe meyerpl intended to say that things like killing and stealing, which you used as examples of behaviours that are described as sins in the bible, would however be seen as something wrong (or as something that causes harm to other people) and would therefore be condemned even if no religious belief was against them.


... and in most cases, if all religious belief - Christian and other - is against them.

http://www.religioustolerance.org/worldrel.gif

Somehow, that other 67% of the populations has managed to thrive and conduct their lives in an orderly way. :shrug:

meyerpl
Feb 14th, 2007, 03:13 PM
That's Latin for 'bad thing in itself'.

I believe meyerpl intended to say that things like killing and stealing, which you used as examples of behaviours that are described as sins in the bible, would however be seen as something wrong (or as something that causes harm to other people) and would therefore be condemned even if no religious belief was against them.
Absouletly correct, thank you.

meyerpl
Feb 14th, 2007, 03:21 PM
... and in most cases, if all religious belief - Christian and other - is against them.

:

Correct. It was noted during the inception of our laws that, as to the ten commandments, the only ones that should be enacted into law are those held by all faiths.

"The law existed while the Anglo-Saxons were yet pagens, at a time when they had never heard the name Christ pronounced or that such a character existed.....What a conspiracy this between Church and State."

-Thomas Jefferson

(Leo Pfeffer, Religion, State and the Burger Court, Buffalo, NY: Prometheus Books 1984 p. 121)

Selah
Feb 14th, 2007, 04:37 PM
the usage of Jesus and penis in the same breathe is disrespectful. :)

why :confused: