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barmaid
Oct 31st, 2006, 02:28 AM
Martina Hingis, Skips down the stairs to the locker room..."Hi, girls, I made it,Ah! Madrid da city of romance, da City of the Bull, da City of ze Matador:devil:
Kuzy, You sure can sling the "bull" Marti!:p
Nadia, Speaking of Matadors Martina, we're going to make you our door mats!:lol:
Hingis, I don't care, I have dated so many exciting Spanish guys: Alfonzo, Sergio, Carlos, Juan, Edwardo....
Elena D. "Oh! Stop it Martina, Vera won't let me date any of those lovely Spanish boys :sad:
Maria, Speaking of Bull, your boyfriend looks like one:p
Hingis- "Oh, Maria you are just a long drink of aqua (another language I speak) Sergio and I said nice tings to each udder...you know not the de romance of man yet, you tink you are the best "Diva" around but you are but a child!:help:
Maria - Shut the fuck up Marti, I'm hot, I'm sizzling, I'm steaming right now:fiery: :hearts:
Mauresmo - "Hey, Maria wanna take a shower avec moi?":eek: :lick:
Justine- "Let's talk tennis here, nevermind de "bull"!:angel:
Hingis - "Oh by da way Juju, Pierre Yves and I shopped all afternoon, I picked out a spanish lace negligee and PY got some spanish fly...Opps! I mean de pants with a fly that is Spanish, Marti made a funny:lol:
Kim - "Keep up with the bullshit Martina, I can't wait to clobber you one more time!:mad:
Hingis -"I don't care, you'll be leaving soon you one slam wonder wid your lowly (nobody ever hearded of him) basketball player!:bounce:
Nadia - "At least he has a face that won't haunt a house!:rolleyes:
Hingis-"Its not the man in my life its the "life" in my men!:kiss:
Maria- "Yuck, get me my cape I'm going Halloween trick or treating!
Kim- "How much are you going to charge for a trick Maria?":confused:
HIngis- You'd hardly be a "treat" either Maria, no experience"!:help:

They all gang up on Martina and gag her with her lace negligee..."Slut" that'll fix you!:(

hu2891601
Oct 31st, 2006, 02:43 AM
very creative, lol

louchie_12
Oct 31st, 2006, 02:47 AM
nice one.. :lol:

morningglory
Oct 31st, 2006, 03:44 AM
*opening screen of a walkway in a park... leaves are falling a voice begins to narrate*
"I tell a story.
A true story.
A story of love, of hate.
Of chaos, of order.
Of glory, of shame.
Of victory, of defeat.
The great upheaval in which the earth will never witness again.
This is my story.
It all began late October 2006,
Maria Sharapova's straight set victory over Patty Scnyder had finally determined the elite 8 players for that year's WTAtour championships... which are..."
Amelie Mauresmo:
*screen pans to Amelie, who is packing her suitcase... a big, black mannish one... filled with stylish clothes and wine bottles... beside her sits a very attractive girl who is looking at her with adoring eyes and constantly sighing*
Maria Sharapova:
*screen shows a GIGANTIC bedroom with velvet curtains and a huge satin-covered bed. Masha is sitting on top of the bed, pointing her finger left and right, Makiri is sitting beside her, furiously jotting down stuff on a piece of paper which overflowed from her lap down onto the floor, where we see five huge suitcases and Sesil is scrambling all over left and right, filling them with stuff from A to Z (I will later give an episode on the story behind this)*
Justine Henin-Hardenne:
*screen now shows Justine, who is packing into a small brown plain suitcase... packing beside her on the bed is her beloved hubby, whose is sporting an extremely flamboyant leopard-spotted suitcase with frills and a pink name tag. Every now and then when Justine wasn't looking, he'd reach inside her bag, take out her lingerie and slip it into his own. After a while Justine was wondering why her bag isn't filled yet*
Svetlana Kuznetsova:
*Screen shows the sweaty and muscular Svetlana packing with one hand while lifting a HUGE dumbell with the other. She doesn't fold her clothes, but throws them straight into her suitcase... which is apparently overflowing. She doesn't seem to care. Then suddenly, with her usual hearty grunt, she drops the dumbell, flexes her muscles and slams the suitcase shut. Then she keeps it from bursting with a HUGE metal chain and lock. A second later she discovers she forgot to put her dumbell into her suitcase, and with her bare hands tore the chain apart (she forgot there was a thing called a "key")*
Nadia Petrova:
*Nadia is packing in the kitchen. Every now and then she would turn around and check on the salmon, then open the oven door to check on the chicken. On the kitchen walls are pictures of herself with each of Maria, Nicky and Anna C standing and holding their winner trophies ... with mustaches and horns drawn on*
Kim Clijsters:
*Picture shows Kim with magazines of wedding dresses, hot honeymoon spots, wedding cakes... etc. She is playing tongue tennis with Bryan on the bed, while nearby a suitcase lies open and empty. Lying on the floor, having been tossed carelessly is a plane ticket which reads:
Ms. Kim Clijsters xxxxx airlines date 10-xx-06 departure time 17.30 hrs... camera zooms back up and we see a pikachu-shaped alarm clock by the bed... the short arm on 5, the long arm on 3...*
Elena Dementieva:
*Screen reveals Lena wearing pig tails cuddling a teddy bear in her arms. She is bouncing excitedly on the bed with her dog. On the floor Vera Dementieva is rapidly muttering to herself, folding and packing her daughter's clothes into a pink barbie design bag. We take a look inside and we see a baby blanket, bunny pajamas and a volume of "Bedtime Stories"*
And Martina Hingis:
*screen pans to Martina's bedroom, where a bag lies stuffed filled with an assortment of sex toys... she is lying on Radek's chest, top half naked... Radek is snoring horribly... then suddenly the closet door slowly opens and a naked guy comes slipping out. Then another one comes out from under the bed. Then suddenly like mushrooms 5 more came springing out of all the hiding places you can imagine. They quickly left the room*

Narrator: And so it came to pass, that the paths of these eight crossed in the land of the bullfighter, at the heart of Madrid. The earth itself trembled as Creation witnessed the chaos of this clash...


(end of prologue... I will continue it if I have time... hope it wasn't too bad)

Lefty.
Oct 31st, 2006, 03:52 AM
*opening screen of a walkway in a park... leaves are falling a voice begins to narrate*
"I tell a story.
A true story.
A story of love, of hate.
Of chaos, of order.
Of glory, of shame.
Of victory, of defeat.
The great upheaval in which the earth will never witness again.
This is my story.
It all began late October 2006,
Maria Sharapova's straight set victory over Patty Scnyder had finally determined the elite 8 players for that year's WTAtour championships... which are..."
Amelie Mauresmo:
*screen pans to Amelie, who is packing her suitcase... a big, black mannish one... filled with stylish clothes and wine bottles... beside her sits a very attractive girl who is looking at her with adoring eyes and constantly sighing*
Maria Sharapova:
*screen shows a GIGANTIC bedroom with velvet curtains and a huge satin-covered bed. Masha is sitting on top of the bed, pointing her finger left and right, Makiri is sitting beside her, furiously jotting down stuff on a piece of paper which overflowed from her lap down onto the floor, where we see five huge suitcases and Sesil is scrambling all over left and right, filling them with stuff from A to Z (I will later give an episode on the story behind this)*
Justine Henin-Hardenne:
*screen now shows Justine, who is packing into a small brown plain suitcase... packing beside her on the bed is her beloved hubby, whose is sporting an extremely flamboyant leopard-spotted suitcase with frills and a pink name tag. Every now and then when Justine wasn't looking, he'd reach inside her bag, take out her lingerie and slip it into his own. After a while Justine was wondering why her bag isn't filled yet*
Svetlana Kuznetsova:
*Screen shows the sweaty and muscular Svetlana packing with one hand while lifting a HUGE dumbell with the other. She doesn't fold her clothes, but throws them straight into her suitcase... which is apparently overflowing. She doesn't seem to care. Then suddenly, with her usual hearty grunt, she drops the dumbell, flexes her muscles and slams the suitcase shut. Then she keeps it from bursting with a HUGE metal chain and lock. A second later she discovers she forgot to put her dumbell into her suitcase, and with her bare hands tore the chain apart (she forgot there was a thing called a "key")*
Nadia Petrova:
*Nadia is packing in the kitchen. Every now and then she would turn around and check on the salmon, then open the oven door to check on the chicken. On the kitchen walls are pictures of herself with each of Maria, Nicky and Anna C standing and holding their winner trophies ... with mustaches and horns drawn on*
Kim Clijsters:
*Picture shows Kim with magazines of wedding dresses, hot honeymoon spots, wedding cakes... etc. She is playing tongue tennis with Bryan on the bed, while nearby a suitcase lies open and empty. Lying on the floor, having been tossed carelessly is a plane ticket which reads:
Ms. Kim Clijsters xxxxx airlines date 10-xx-06 departure time 17.30 hrs... camera zooms back up and we see a pikachu-shaped alarm clock by the bed... the short arm on 5, the long arm on 3...*
Elena Dementieva:
*Screen reveals Lena wearing pig tails cuddling a teddy bear in her arms. She is bouncing excitedly on the bed with her dog. On the floor Vera Dementieva is rapidly muttering to herself, folding and packing her daughter's clothes into a pink barbie design bag. We take a look inside and we see a baby blanket, bunny pajamas and a volume of "Bedtime Stories"*
And Martina Hingis:
*screen pans to Martina's bedroom, where a bag lies stuffed filled with an assortment of sex toys... she is lying on Radek's chest, top half naked... Radek is snoring horribly... then suddenly the closet door slowly opens and a naked guy comes slipping out. Then another one comes out from under the bed. Then suddenly like mushrooms 5 more came springing out of all the hiding places you can imagine. They quickly left the room*

Narrator: And so it came to pass, that the paths of these eight crossed in the land of the bullfighter, at the heart of Madrid. The earth itself trembled as Creation witnessed the chaos of this clash...


(end of prologue... I will continue it if I have time... hope it wasn't too bad)

:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:

Loved it! :lol:

stevos
Oct 31st, 2006, 03:53 AM
Hilarious :lol:

Asmus
Oct 31st, 2006, 04:03 AM
*Maria skips into the locker room
Elena: I feel pretty, oh so pretty
Nadia: I feel pretty and wittty and--
Maria: Shut up!
Elena: Sorry Anna--I mean Maria.
*Justine enters and ignores everyone.
Kim: Hi, Justine! You played such a good match today! I don't think I'll ever beat you again!
Justine: Let's 'ope so.
Maria: One for four, one for four! Looking forward to another final?
Amelie: Do you think you can stomach it?
Kim: Be quiet guys, stop being so mean, I think Justine's the greatest player of our generation and everyone else is just jealous. Justine, we'll be friends for life, won't we?
Justine: Kim, if you 'aven't noticed, we aren't black sisters and we only 'ave one middle name!
*Martina enters
Martina: Hi guys! How are you?
Kim: Hi Martina! So nice to have you back! How do you like your chances here?
Martina: Well, there's no Leeendsay, no Venus and Serena so I have to admit I kind of like my chances!
Amelie: Not as long as you get served off the court by Madame Mal Ventre.
Maria: Amelie, you're just jealous because you're not a great #1 and you're going to lose that ranking at the end of the week!
Amelie: I will not! *SNIFF*
Elena: Martina, you're just a flash in the pan. I'm the only one here who's actually played this event every year this decade.
Nadia: Yeah, at the rate you're going you might even win another match by the time the next decade is here.
Martina: Don't cry, it's so nice to have you here. If I didn't see how your joke of a serve made two slam finals I probably wouldn't have come back.

LoveFifteen
Oct 31st, 2006, 04:19 AM
As she sat in the locker room, she fought to maintain her icy demeanor. She hated these other girls, and she refused to show them even a glimmer of weakness. From day one, Daddy had taught her that the other girls were scum. She was taller, prettier, fairer and richer, and -- boy -- did she ever know it! Daddy always reminded her that she was the only one in Madrid who spoke perfect English ... so why did she feel so insecure today? Where were these feelings of inadequacy coming from? Why was she doubting herself?

She was better than these people. She looked around the locker room, sneering at the two manly lesbians, the flat-chested frigid midget, and the two dull Russians. Off in the corner, the injury-prone, uber-friendly hobbit was chatting with the has-been teen prodigy. For a brief moment, she wondered if her hateful thoughts was really her own, or if Daddy had turned her into a heartless robot.

The introspection lasted but a moment as suddenly the foul stench of one of Sveta's queefs permeated the air. She wrinkled her nose in disgusted, then opened her bag to remove a bottle of her perfume. “I am the best,” she thought to herself as she sprayed her perfume. “These girls could only dream of having their own perfume brand.” But somehow, deep down, she knew no amount of shrieking would ever silence the whispering voice of shame inside: you celebrated your seventh birthday three times.

stevos
Oct 31st, 2006, 04:46 AM
^^^ LMFAO! :lol:

Mean (poor Sveta), but hilarious!

Just_lindsay
Oct 31st, 2006, 05:02 AM
As she sat in the locker room, she fought to maintain her icy demeanor. She hated these other girls, and she refused to show them even a glimmer of weakness. From day one, Daddy had taught her that the other girls were scum. She was taller, prettier, fairer and richer, and -- boy -- did she ever know it! Daddy always reminded her that she was the only one in Madrid who spoke perfect English ... so why did she feel so insecure today? Where were these feelings of inadequacy coming from? Why was she doubting herself?

She was better than these people. She looked around the locker room, sneering at the two manly lesbians, the flat-chested frigid midget, and the two dull Russians. Off in the corner, the injury-prone, uber-friendly hobbit was chatting with the has-been teen prodigy. For a brief moment, she wondered if her hateful thoughts was really her own, or if Daddy had turned her into a heartless robot.

The introspection lasted but a moment as suddenly the foul stench of one of Sveta's queefs permeated the air. She wrinkled her nose in disgusted, then opened her bag to remove a bottle of her perfume. “I am the best,” she thought to herself as she sprayed her perfume. “These girls could only dream of having their own perfume brand.” But somehow, deep down, she knew no amount of shrieking would ever silence the whispering voice of shame inside: you celebrated your seventh birthday three times.


This is awesome :lol: :worship:

fufuqifuqishahah
Oct 31st, 2006, 05:22 AM
As she sat in the locker room, she fought to maintain her icy demeanor. She hated these other girls, and she refused to show them even a glimmer of weakness. From day one, Daddy had taught her that the other girls were scum. She was taller, prettier, fairer and richer, and -- boy -- did she ever know it! Daddy always reminded her that she was the only one in Madrid who spoke perfect English ... so why did she feel so insecure today? Where were these feelings of inadequacy coming from? Why was she doubting herself?

She was better than these people. She looked around the locker room, sneering at the two manly lesbians, the flat-chested frigid midget, and the two dull Russians. Off in the corner, the injury-prone, uber-friendly hobbit was chatting with the has-been teen prodigy. For a brief moment, she wondered if her hateful thoughts was really her own, or if Daddy had turned her into a heartless robot.

The introspection lasted but a moment as suddenly the foul stench of one of Sveta's queefs permeated the air. She wrinkled her nose in disgusted, then opened her bag to remove a bottle of her perfume. “I am the best,” she thought to herself as she sprayed her perfume. “These girls could only dream of having their own perfume brand.” But somehow, deep down, she knew no amount of shrieking would ever silence the whispering voice of shame inside: you celebrated your seventh birthday three times.

:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :worship: :worship:

morningglory
Oct 31st, 2006, 05:39 AM
0-15 :eek: :yeah:
You should become a professional writer... that was so novel-like it sucked me in...!!!
I humbly bow to your skills!

Ben.
Oct 31st, 2006, 06:27 AM
Martina Hingis, Skips down the stairs to the locker room..."Hi, girls, I made it,Ah! Madrid da city of romance, da City of the Bull, da City of ze Matador:devil:
Kuzy, You sure can sling the "bull" Marti!:p
Nadia, Speaking of Matadors Martina, we're going to make you our door mats!:lol:
Hingis, I don't care, I have dated so many exciting Spanish guys: Alfonzo, Sergio, Carlos, Juan, Edwardo....
Elena D. "Oh! Stop it Martina, Vera won't let me date any of those lovely Spanish boys :sad:
Maria, Speaking of Bull, your boyfriend looks like one:p
Hingis- "Oh, Maria you are just a long drink of aqua (another language I speak) Sergio and I said nice tings to each udder...you know not the de romance of man yet, you tink you are the best "Diva" around but you are but a child!:help:
Maria - Shut the fuck up Marti, I'm hot, I'm sizzling, I'm steaming right now:fiery: :hearts:
Mauresmo - "Hey, Maria wanna take a shower avec moi?":eek: :lick:
Justine- "Let's talk tennis here, nevermind de "bull"!:angel:
Hingis - "Oh by da way Juju, Pierre Yves and I shopped all afternoon, I picked out a spanish lace negligee and PY got some spanish fly...Opps! I mean de pants with a fly that is Spanish, Marti made a funny:lol:
Kim - "Keep up with the bullshit Martina, I can't wait to clobber you one more time!:mad:
Hingis -"I don't care, you'll be leaving soon you one slam wonder wid your lowly (nobody ever hearded of him) basketball player!:bounce:
Nadia - "At least he has a face that won't haunt a house!:rolleyes:
Hingis-"Its not the man in my life its the "life" in my men!:kiss:
Maria- "Yuck, get me my cape I'm going Halloween trick or treating!
Kim- "How much are you going to charge for a trick Maria?":confused:
HIngis- You'd hardly be a "treat" either Maria, no experience"!:help:

They all gang up on Martina and gag her with her lace negligee..."Slut" that'll fix you!:(

good one :lol:

Ben.
Oct 31st, 2006, 06:28 AM
this is so mean, but hillarious funny at the same time.

hwanmig
Oct 31st, 2006, 08:58 AM
As she sat in the locker room, she fought to maintain her icy demeanor. She hated these other girls, and she refused to show them even a glimmer of weakness. From day one, Daddy had taught her that the other girls were scum. She was taller, prettier, fairer and richer, and -- boy -- did she ever know it! Daddy always reminded her that she was the only one in Madrid who spoke perfect English ... so why did she feel so insecure today? Where were these feelings of inadequacy coming from? Why was she doubting herself?

She was better than these people. She looked around the locker room, sneering at the two manly lesbians, the flat-chested frigid midget, and the two dull Russians. Off in the corner, the injury-prone, uber-friendly hobbit was chatting with the has-been teen prodigy. For a brief moment, she wondered if her hateful thoughts was really her own, or if Daddy had turned her into a heartless robot.

The introspection lasted but a moment as suddenly the foul stench of one of Sveta's queefs permeated the air. She wrinkled her nose in disgusted, then opened her bag to remove a bottle of her perfume. “I am the best,” she thought to herself as she sprayed her perfume. “These girls could only dream of having their own perfume brand.” But somehow, deep down, she knew no amount of shrieking would ever silence the whispering voice of shame inside: you celebrated your seventh birthday three times.

Good one:lol:

supergrunt
Oct 31st, 2006, 10:57 AM
As she sat in the locker room, she fought to maintain her icy demeanor. She hated these other girls, and she refused to show them even a glimmer of weakness. From day one, Daddy had taught her that the other girls were scum. She was taller, prettier, fairer and richer, and -- boy -- did she ever know it! Daddy always reminded her that she was the only one in Madrid who spoke perfect English ... so why did she feel so insecure today? Where were these feelings of inadequacy coming from? Why was she doubting herself?

She was better than these people. She looked around the locker room, sneering at the two manly lesbians, the flat-chested frigid midget, and the two dull Russians. Off in the corner, the injury-prone, uber-friendly hobbit was chatting with the has-been teen prodigy. For a brief moment, she wondered if her hateful thoughts was really her own, or if Daddy had turned her into a heartless robot.

The introspection lasted but a moment as suddenly the foul stench of one of Sveta's queefs permeated the air. She wrinkled her nose in disgusted, then opened her bag to remove a bottle of her perfume. “I am the best,” she thought to herself as she sprayed her perfume. “These girls could only dream of having their own perfume brand.” But somehow, deep down, she knew no amount of shrieking would ever silence the whispering voice of shame inside: you celebrated your seventh birthday three times.

This is really good :eek: !

KimC&MariaSNo1's
Oct 31st, 2006, 11:31 AM
love em great work

alfonsojose
Oct 31st, 2006, 01:09 PM
As she sat in the locker room, she fought to maintain her icy demeanor. She hated these other girls, and she refused to show them even a glimmer of weakness. From day one, Daddy had taught her that the other girls were scum. She was taller, prettier, fairer and richer, and -- boy -- did she ever know it! Daddy always reminded her that she was the only one in Madrid who spoke perfect English ... so why did she feel so insecure today? Where were these feelings of inadequacy coming from? Why was she doubting herself?

She was better than these people. She looked around the locker room, sneering at the two manly lesbians, the flat-chested frigid midget, and the two dull Russians. Off in the corner, the injury-prone, uber-friendly hobbit was chatting with the has-been teen prodigy. For a brief moment, she wondered if her hateful thoughts was really her own, or if Daddy had turned her into a heartless robot.

The introspection lasted but a moment as suddenly the foul stench of one of Sveta's queefs permeated the air. She wrinkled her nose in disgusted, then opened her bag to remove a bottle of her perfume. “I am the best,” she thought to herself as she sprayed her perfume. “These girls could only dream of having their own perfume brand.” But somehow, deep down, she knew no amount of shrieking would ever silence the whispering voice of shame inside: you celebrated your seventh birthday three times.

:haha: :haha:

Maria Croft
Oct 31st, 2006, 01:15 PM
Good work everyone :yeah:

Doc
Oct 31st, 2006, 02:21 PM
*opening screen of a walkway in a park... leaves are falling a voice begins to narrate*
"I tell a story.
A true story.
A story of love, of hate.
Of chaos, of order.
Of glory, of shame.
Of victory, of defeat.
The great upheaval in which the earth will never witness again.
This is my story.
It all began late October 2006,
Maria Sharapova's straight set victory over Patty Scnyder had finally determined the elite 8 players for that year's WTAtour championships... which are..."
Amelie Mauresmo:
*screen pans to Amelie, who is packing her suitcase... a big, black mannish one... filled with stylish clothes and wine bottles... beside her sits a very attractive girl who is looking at her with adoring eyes and constantly sighing*
Maria Sharapova:
*screen shows a GIGANTIC bedroom with velvet curtains and a huge satin-covered bed. Masha is sitting on top of the bed, pointing her finger left and right, Makiri is sitting beside her, furiously jotting down stuff on a piece of paper which overflowed from her lap down onto the floor, where we see five huge suitcases and Sesil is scrambling all over left and right, filling them with stuff from A to Z (I will later give an episode on the story behind this)*
Justine Henin-Hardenne:
*screen now shows Justine, who is packing into a small brown plain suitcase... packing beside her on the bed is her beloved hubby, whose is sporting an extremely flamboyant leopard-spotted suitcase with frills and a pink name tag. Every now and then when Justine wasn't looking, he'd reach inside her bag, take out her lingerie and slip it into his own. After a while Justine was wondering why her bag isn't filled yet*
Svetlana Kuznetsova:
*Screen shows the sweaty and muscular Svetlana packing with one hand while lifting a HUGE dumbell with the other. She doesn't fold her clothes, but throws them straight into her suitcase... which is apparently overflowing. She doesn't seem to care. Then suddenly, with her usual hearty grunt, she drops the dumbell, flexes her muscles and slams the suitcase shut. Then she keeps it from bursting with a HUGE metal chain and lock. A second later she discovers she forgot to put her dumbell into her suitcase, and with her bare hands tore the chain apart (she forgot there was a thing called a "key")*
Nadia Petrova:
*Nadia is packing in the kitchen. Every now and then she would turn around and check on the salmon, then open the oven door to check on the chicken. On the kitchen walls are pictures of herself with each of Maria, Nicky and Anna C standing and holding their winner trophies ... with mustaches and horns drawn on*
Kim Clijsters:
*Picture shows Kim with magazines of wedding dresses, hot honeymoon spots, wedding cakes... etc. She is playing tongue tennis with Bryan on the bed, while nearby a suitcase lies open and empty. Lying on the floor, having been tossed carelessly is a plane ticket which reads:
Ms. Kim Clijsters xxxxx airlines date 10-xx-06 departure time 17.30 hrs... camera zooms back up and we see a pikachu-shaped alarm clock by the bed... the short arm on 5, the long arm on 3...*
Elena Dementieva:
*Screen reveals Lena wearing pig tails cuddling a teddy bear in her arms. She is bouncing excitedly on the bed with her dog. On the floor Vera Dementieva is rapidly muttering to herself, folding and packing her daughter's clothes into a pink barbie design bag. We take a look inside and we see a baby blanket, bunny pajamas and a volume of "Bedtime Stories"*
And Martina Hingis:
*screen pans to Martina's bedroom, where a bag lies stuffed filled with an assortment of sex toys... she is lying on Radek's chest, top half naked... Radek is snoring horribly... then suddenly the closet door slowly opens and a naked guy comes slipping out. Then another one comes out from under the bed. Then suddenly like mushrooms 5 more came springing out of all the hiding places you can imagine. They quickly left the room*

Narrator: And so it came to pass, that the paths of these eight crossed in the land of the bullfighter, at the heart of Madrid. The earth itself trembled as Creation witnessed the chaos of this clash...


(end of prologue... I will continue it if I have time... hope it wasn't too bad)

:lol: This is best.

hingis-seles
Oct 31st, 2006, 02:23 PM
These are amazing. Very entertaining!

A special :worship: to LoveFifteen.

miffedmax
Oct 31st, 2006, 07:53 PM
These are all great. But I'm sitting in an airport with nothing better to do.

So I'll inflict my version on you.

MOMO:
Merde! There haven't been so many Russians in Spain since le Spanish Civil War! They're everywhere!

ENTER JUJU:
It's true. We Francophones must stick together against the Red menace!

MOMO: I don't think they are reds any more.

ENTER KUZZY AND NADIA . . .

JUJU: Speak of ze devils.

KUZZY RIPS THE TOP OFF A CAN OF BEER AND DRINKS IT IN ONE GULP, THEN BURPS LOUDLY.

KUZ: Hey, gals, what's up?

MOMO: Incredible. I have just been set back 20 years.

KUZ: What?

MOMO: Nothing.

ENTER HINGIS. Here I am. Back at the top of the game. Did you miss me?

JUJU: I'm sorry, I was so focused on making the finals of all four slams that I didn't notice.

MARTINA: Well, you're about to notice something.

ENTER KIM: Oh, I'm so happy to be here! I just love to play you all! And I saw the sweetest, most adorable thing, something I would have never, ever believed possible . . .

MOMO: What?

KIM: Why, see for yourself!

ENTER MARIA AND ELENA. THEY ARE WALKING ARM IN ARM WITH HORRIBLE, PLASTIC SMILES PLASTERED ON THEIR FACES. MOMMY VERA AND PAPA YURI WALK BEHIND THEM. MV AND PY HAVE CATTLE PRODS IN ONE HAND AND A WAD OF MONEY IN THE OTHER. THEY ARE TRYING TO KEEP AN EYE ON THEIR DAUGHTERS AND AN EYE ON THE MONEY. MOMMY VERA IS VISIBLY IRRITATED THAT YURIS WAD OF MONEY IS BIGGER.

KIM: Isn't it nice when everybody gets along?

MARIA: "Oh yes. It is such a pleasure for us to be on the same Fed Cup team as this lowly peasant from the steppes. Owwww! (PAPA YURI POKES HER WITH THE CATTLE PROD).

LENA: You bet. I am so happy to be playing with this great Russian tennis player and patriot, even though we have to speak English with each other because I can't understand word one she says when she speaks Russian . . .OUCH! (MOMMY VERA HAS JUST SHOCKED ELENA).

ENTER NADIA.

KIM: Isn't it cute the way they get along now?

KUZ: How come no one want me to be on the Fed Cup team?

MASHA: Really, we don't think you're playing on the same team as us at all.

ALL LAUGH EXCEPT LENA, WHO JUST LOOKS CONFUSED.

NADIA: Aw, being on the Fed Cup team isn't that big a deal.

MASHA: Yes it is. It's money in the bank. We are so proud to be on the same team and Lena D., even if she can't serve and cries to her mommy . . . OWWWWW!

LENA D: You know, I was at the zoo the other day watching a baboon eat a banana. It reminded how happy I am to have you as a teammate . . .
OUCH!

MOMMY VERA: Worthless daughter! Remember there are contracts and money!

PAPA YURI: And that goes double for you!

MASHA: Don't worry, Daddy. We're best friends now.

LENA: So you'll let me win then?

MASHA: Of course we will.

MOMO: You know, I might have something to say about that . . .

JUJU: And me . . .

KIM: I wish we could all win.

HINGIS: But we can't. . .

LENA: Have I mentioned I've qualified for this more than anyone? I am so due.

MASHA: No you're not.

LENA: I am so due!

MASHA: Oh, we thought you said you were doo-doo . . . OWWWWW!

MOMO: This is beginning to look like it's going to be a VERY long week . . .

Kitten63
Oct 31st, 2006, 08:13 PM
great work everyone!

barryproudfoot
Oct 31st, 2006, 08:20 PM
:lol: @ LF and barmaid's ones :worship:

barmaid
Oct 31st, 2006, 08:20 PM
KUZZY RIPS THE TOP OFF A CAN OF BEER AND DRINKS IT IN ONE GULP, THEN BURPS LOUDLY.

KUZ: Hey, gals, what's up?


Good one Max..! :lol:

Milli
Oct 31st, 2006, 08:44 PM
Omg this is hilarious:lol: Awesome job everyone:worship:

Bumsby
Oct 31st, 2006, 09:00 PM
KIM: I wish we could all win.
:lol: One day she'll say it for real :lol:

great work everyone, but.... why did Maria celebrate her 7th birthday 3 times?? :confused: :scratch:

LoveFifteen... great style :worship:

KoOlMaNsEaN
Oct 31st, 2006, 10:07 PM
keep writing morningglory :D

tennis-master83
Oct 31st, 2006, 10:13 PM
:lol: One day she'll say it for real :lol:

great work everyone, but.... why did Maria celebrate her 7th birthday 3 times?? :confused: :scratch:

LoveFifteen... great style :worship:


I don't understand your interesting question!!!:confused:

Bumsby
Oct 31st, 2006, 10:18 PM
I don't understand your interesting question!!!:confused:
That's the conclusion of LoveFifteen's piece :shrug: it's something Maria is supposed to be ashamed of :scratch: :confused:

.david.
Oct 31st, 2006, 10:21 PM
KIM: I wish we could all win.



:haha:


Keep the confrontations comming.

bellascarlett
Oct 31st, 2006, 10:39 PM
*opening screen of a walkway in a park... leaves are falling a voice begins to narrate*
"I tell a story.
A true story.
A story of love, of hate.
Of chaos, of order.
Of glory, of shame.
Of victory, of defeat.
The great upheaval in which the earth will never witness again.
This is my story.
It all began late October 2006,
Maria Sharapova's straight set victory over Patty Scnyder had finally determined the elite 8 players for that year's WTAtour championships... which are..."
Amelie Mauresmo:
*screen pans to Amelie, who is packing her suitcase... a big, black mannish one... filled with stylish clothes and wine bottles... beside her sits a very attractive girl who is looking at her with adoring eyes and constantly sighing*
Maria Sharapova:
*screen shows a GIGANTIC bedroom with velvet curtains and a huge satin-covered bed. Masha is sitting on top of the bed, pointing her finger left and right, Makiri is sitting beside her, furiously jotting down stuff on a piece of paper which overflowed from her lap down onto the floor, where we see five huge suitcases and Sesil is scrambling all over left and right, filling them with stuff from A to Z (I will later give an episode on the story behind this)*
Justine Henin-Hardenne:
*screen now shows Justine, who is packing into a small brown plain suitcase... packing beside her on the bed is her beloved hubby, whose is sporting an extremely flamboyant leopard-spotted suitcase with frills and a pink name tag. Every now and then when Justine wasn't looking, he'd reach inside her bag, take out her lingerie and slip it into his own. After a while Justine was wondering why her bag isn't filled yet*
Svetlana Kuznetsova:
*Screen shows the sweaty and muscular Svetlana packing with one hand while lifting a HUGE dumbell with the other. She doesn't fold her clothes, but throws them straight into her suitcase... which is apparently overflowing. She doesn't seem to care. Then suddenly, with her usual hearty grunt, she drops the dumbell, flexes her muscles and slams the suitcase shut. Then she keeps it from bursting with a HUGE metal chain and lock. A second later she discovers she forgot to put her dumbell into her suitcase, and with her bare hands tore the chain apart (she forgot there was a thing called a "key")*
Nadia Petrova:
*Nadia is packing in the kitchen. Every now and then she would turn around and check on the salmon, then open the oven door to check on the chicken. On the kitchen walls are pictures of herself with each of Maria, Nicky and Anna C standing and holding their winner trophies ... with mustaches and horns drawn on*
Kim Clijsters:
*Picture shows Kim with magazines of wedding dresses, hot honeymoon spots, wedding cakes... etc. She is playing tongue tennis with Bryan on the bed, while nearby a suitcase lies open and empty. Lying on the floor, having been tossed carelessly is a plane ticket which reads:
Ms. Kim Clijsters xxxxx airlines date 10-xx-06 departure time 17.30 hrs... camera zooms back up and we see a pikachu-shaped alarm clock by the bed... the short arm on 5, the long arm on 3...*
Elena Dementieva:
*Screen reveals Lena wearing pig tails cuddling a teddy bear in her arms. She is bouncing excitedly on the bed with her dog. On the floor Vera Dementieva is rapidly muttering to herself, folding and packing her daughter's clothes into a pink barbie design bag. We take a look inside and we see a baby blanket, bunny pajamas and a volume of "Bedtime Stories"*
And Martina Hingis:
*screen pans to Martina's bedroom, where a bag lies stuffed filled with an assortment of sex toys... she is lying on Radek's chest, top half naked... Radek is snoring horribly... then suddenly the closet door slowly opens and a naked guy comes slipping out. Then another one comes out from under the bed. Then suddenly like mushrooms 5 more came springing out of all the hiding places you can imagine. They quickly left the room*

Narrator: And so it came to pass, that the paths of these eight crossed in the land of the bullfighter, at the heart of Madrid. The earth itself trembled as Creation witnessed the chaos of this clash...


(end of prologue... I will continue it if I have time... hope it wasn't too bad)

Omg...:haha: :haha: :haha: Funny stuff mg! :rolls:

Pierre Yves and Martina! :lol:

Corswandt
Oct 31st, 2006, 10:51 PM
As she sat in the locker room, she fought to maintain her icy demeanor. She hated these other girls, and she refused to show them even a glimmer of weakness. From day one, Daddy had taught her that the other girls were scum. She was taller, prettier, fairer and richer, and -- boy -- did she ever know it! Daddy always reminded her that she was the only one in Madrid who spoke perfect English ... so why did she feel so insecure today? Where were these feelings of inadequacy coming from? Why was she doubting herself?

She was better than these people. She looked around the locker room, sneering at the two manly lesbians, the flat-chested frigid midget, and the two dull Russians. Off in the corner, the injury-prone, uber-friendly hobbit was chatting with the has-been teen prodigy. For a brief moment, she wondered if her hateful thoughts was really her own, or if Daddy had turned her into a heartless robot.

The introspection lasted but a moment as suddenly the foul stench of one of Sveta's queefs permeated the air. She wrinkled her nose in disgusted, then opened her bag to remove a bottle of her perfume. “I am the best,” she thought to herself as she sprayed her perfume. “These girls could only dream of having their own perfume brand.” But somehow, deep down, she knew no amount of shrieking would ever silence the whispering voice of shame inside: you celebrated your seventh birthday three times.

Confrontation threads are getting old. All the lame rehashed clichés we've read 10.000 times before with a couple of lines of good material thrown in.

But this is a different thing altogether. And the punchline. :worship:

Sally Struthers
Oct 31st, 2006, 10:53 PM
As she sat in the locker room, she fought to maintain her icy demeanor. She hated these other girls, and she refused to show them even a glimmer of weakness. From day one, Daddy had taught her that the other girls were scum. She was taller, prettier, fairer and richer, and -- boy -- did she ever know it! Daddy always reminded her that she was the only one in Madrid who spoke perfect English ... so why did she feel so insecure today? Where were these feelings of inadequacy coming from? Why was she doubting herself?

She was better than these people. She looked around the locker room, sneering at the two manly lesbians, the flat-chested frigid midget, and the two dull Russians. Off in the corner, the injury-prone, uber-friendly hobbit was chatting with the has-been teen prodigy. For a brief moment, she wondered if her hateful thoughts was really her own, or if Daddy had turned her into a heartless robot.

The introspection lasted but a moment as suddenly the foul stench of one of Sveta's queefs permeated the air. She wrinkled her nose in disgusted, then opened her bag to remove a bottle of her perfume. “I am the best,” she thought to herself as she sprayed her perfume. “These girls could only dream of having their own perfume brand.” But somehow, deep down, she knew no amount of shrieking would ever silence the whispering voice of shame inside: you celebrated your seventh birthday three times.


omg classic! It's like a bad romance novel :haha: :worship:

hurricanejeanne
Nov 1st, 2006, 12:33 AM
As she sat in the locker room, she fought to maintain her icy demeanor. She hated these other girls, and she refused to show them even a glimmer of weakness. From day one, Daddy had taught her that the other girls were scum. She was taller, prettier, fairer and richer, and -- boy -- did she ever know it! Daddy always reminded her that she was the only one in Madrid who spoke perfect English ... so why did she feel so insecure today? Where were these feelings of inadequacy coming from? Why was she doubting herself?

She was better than these people. She looked around the locker room, sneering at the two manly lesbians, the flat-chested frigid midget, and the two dull Russians. Off in the corner, the injury-prone, uber-friendly hobbit was chatting with the has-been teen prodigy. For a brief moment, she wondered if her hateful thoughts was really her own, or if Daddy had turned her into a heartless robot.

The introspection lasted but a moment as suddenly the foul stench of one of Sveta's queefs permeated the air. She wrinkled her nose in disgusted, then opened her bag to remove a bottle of her perfume. “I am the best,” she thought to herself as she sprayed her perfume. “These girls could only dream of having their own perfume brand.” But somehow, deep down, she knew no amount of shrieking would ever silence the whispering voice of shame inside: you celebrated your seventh birthday three times.

This is probably the best thing I have read from a lock room confrontation in a very, very long while (minus miffedmax's brillant stuff). :lol:

And a :lol: at morning glory's piece two. This is the best LRC I've read in quite some while. :worship:

TennisPlayingFox
Nov 1st, 2006, 12:46 AM
Hey this is my first attempt at a locker room confontation. Hope it's not too bad.

The players are arriving in Madrid for the Year End Championships. They were all suppossed to arrive at the venue at 8:00. It's eight and the only player there is Elena.

Elena: Where is everyone? We were supposed to be here at 8:00. *The clock turns to 8:01, suddenly Maria approaches*

Maria: Hah! Fashionably late! just like any star should be!

Elena: By one minute?

Maria: Hey it's still late and thats all that matters!

Voice: Hey girls. *Lena and Masha turn around and scream*

Maria and Elena: AHH MONSTER!!!!!

Svetlana: It's just me!

Elena: Oh Sorry Svetlana

Kim: You girls are always so mean to Sveta.

Svetlana: Thank you Kim.

Kim: Ah! It speaks!

Sveta: :o *Elena and Maria are cracking up at this time*

Justine: Hello girls

Maria: Hey it's the midget!

Justine: :mad: I'll get you!

Maria: Sure whatever!

Justine: Heh, this will fix her! *Pulls out a water balloon while no one is looking* heh heh take th- hey! *Someone snatches the balloon from Juju* Who did that!? *Turns around to see Nadia*

Nadia: So who were you going to throw this at Justine?

Juju: None of your buisness! *Tries to take it from Nadia but Nadia just puts it above her head*

Nadia: Your not getting it back until you tell me who you were going to throw it at.

Juju: Fine I was going to throw it at Maria.

Nadia: Ah I see. In that case. *Nadia throws the Balloon and hits Maria right in the head*

Masha: HEY! WHO DID THAT!

Nadia: It was her. *points to Juju*

Juju: What!

Maria: Of course! I'll get you Justine!

Justine: What! No way! *Starts running*

Maria: Get back here! Thanks Nadia!

Nadia: No prob *Gives a high five*

Ameile: What is that all about?

Nadia: Justine hit Maria with a water balloon!

Sveta: Come on Nadia! just because Maria fell for it doesn't mean we did. We all know your the one who threw it!

Kim and Elena: What!? Nadia threw it!?

Sveta: :o

Nadia: :D

Martina: Hey girls! What's up!

Elena: *Looks up but then immediatly looks back down* Agh! Bright lights!

Sveta: -_-. I don't think

Kim: -_-. She ment

Ameile: -_-. It literally

Nadia: -_-. Elena.

Tournament director: Welcome ladies! Looks like you are all here! *Sees Maria and Justine running up* Please follow me.

To Be Continued

LoveFifteen
Nov 1st, 2006, 01:35 AM
That's the conclusion of LoveFifteen's piece :shrug: it's something Maria is supposed to be ashamed of :scratch: :confused:

I said Maria celebrated her 7th birthday three times as an allusion to the running gag that many of the Eastern European girls fake their age to appear younger because being a teenage phenom will bring more lucrative endorsements.

CrossCourt~Rally
Nov 1st, 2006, 01:45 AM
*screen now shows Justine, who is packing into a small brown plain suitcase... packing beside her on the bed is her beloved hubby, whose is sporting an extremely flamboyant leopard-spotted suitcase with frills and a pink name tag. Every now and then when Justine wasn't looking, he'd reach inside her bag, take out her lingerie and slip it into his own. After a while Justine was wondering why her bag isn't filled yet*

:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: HILLARIOUS!! :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:

xan
Nov 1st, 2006, 11:41 AM
The Locker Room, Madrid.

Kim walks in: How nice to see everyone all back together again. The eight best players in the world.

Patty: Nine.

Martina H: What are you doing here?

Patty: I'm first reserve, in case one of you drops out. (Offers Martina a plate) Do you fancy a nice tasty mushroom? - or perhaps some of these nice brown berries?

Martina: No thanks. Shouldn't you be training?

Patty: Training? I don't need no steenking training! I just use my natural talent.

Justine: But how is running off with wacko con-men going to help you in tennis?

Maria: (hangs up curious, heavy-skirted dress) What's that you're eating, Sveta?

Svetlana: Nothing. Just raw steak and er... Cough medicine. I have to build the big muscles, you know. It's good for the tennis - and if Boris Yeltsin ever tries to hug me, I break his back!

Amelie: Ah, fame! It brings so many things. I think they're going to put me on a postage stamp, now that I've won two slams.

Justine: That will confuse a lot of people.

Amelie: Why?

Justine: They won't know which side of it to spit on. Allez!

Maria: Good one, Justine. But there's no need to kneel. Why don't you stand up?

Justine: I AM standing up!

Maria: You know what was so great about my last tournament? It was that I won even though I was playing badly.

Elena D: I wish I could win when I play badly.

Maria: But then you'd be World Number One.

Elena: I've been practising my serve since last year. My new improved serve is much more powerful.

Maria: What new improved serve?

Elena: Didn't you see it? I've got this massive 113 MPH serve now. But I only use it once per match. I don't want to wear it out.

Kim: Didn't I see you playing in Linz, Nadia? You got slaughtered! You were moving like the living dead!

Nadia: I don't move anything like Nastya. Anyhow, she's not even here this year!

Kim: But your game has improved over last year. What do you do?

Nadia: I use powerful mental training. Every day I look at the mirror and say: "You are strong, you are beautiful, you are a winner!

Elena: And what happens?

Nadia: The mirror says, "Thanks, you fat loser."

Kim: Oh.

bellascarlett
Nov 1st, 2006, 12:03 PM
As she sat in the locker room, she fought to maintain her icy demeanor. She hated these other girls, and she refused to show them even a glimmer of weakness. From day one, Daddy had taught her that the other girls were scum. She was taller, prettier, fairer and richer, and -- boy -- did she ever know it! Daddy always reminded her that she was the only one in Madrid who spoke perfect English ... so why did she feel so insecure today? Where were these feelings of inadequacy coming from? Why was she doubting herself?

She was better than these people. She looked around the locker room, sneering at the two manly lesbians, the flat-chested frigid midget, and the two dull Russians. Off in the corner, the injury-prone, uber-friendly hobbit was chatting with the has-been teen prodigy. For a brief moment, she wondered if her hateful thoughts was really her own, or if Daddy had turned her into a heartless robot.

The introspection lasted but a moment as suddenly the foul stench of one of Sveta's queefs permeated the air. She wrinkled her nose in disgusted, then opened her bag to remove a bottle of her perfume. “I am the best,” she thought to herself as she sprayed her perfume. “These girls could only dream of having their own perfume brand.” But somehow, deep down, she knew no amount of shrieking would ever silence the whispering voice o;f shame inside: you celebrated your seventh birthday three times.

:haha: :lol: :awww:

good one...Sveta...:tape:

Jogi
Nov 1st, 2006, 12:46 PM
*screen now shows Justine, who is packing into a small brown plain suitcase... packing beside her on the bed is her beloved hubby, whose is sporting an extremely flamboyant leopard-spotted suitcase with frills and a pink name tag. Every now and then when Justine wasn't looking, he'd reach inside her bag, take out her lingerie and slip it into his own. After a while Justine was wondering why her bag isn't filled yet*

:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: HILLARIOUS!! :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:

lol, loved it, the Dementieva-part was also :lol: :haha:

*Screen reveals Lena wearing pig tails cuddling a teddy bear in her arms. She is bouncing excitedly on the bed with her dog. On the floor Vera Dementieva is rapidly muttering to herself, folding and packing her daughter's clothes into a pink barbie design bag. We take a look inside and we see a baby blanket, bunny pajamas and a volume of "Bedtime Stories"*

hingis-seles
Nov 1st, 2006, 02:35 PM
Amelie: Ah, fame! It brings so many things. I think they're going to put me on a postage stamp, now that I've won two slams.

Justine: That will confuse a lot of people.

Amelie: Why?

Justine: They won't know which side of it to spit on. Allez!

Allez! :haha:

Bumsby
Nov 1st, 2006, 05:59 PM
Amelie: Ah, fame! It brings so many things. I think they're going to put me on a postage stamp, now that I've won two slams.

Justine: That will confuse a lot of people.

Amelie: Why?

Justine: They won't know which side of it to lick on. Allez!
I made a small correction ;)

Kitten63
Nov 1st, 2006, 07:17 PM
[QUOTE=TennisPlayingFox;9388417]Hey this is my first attempt at a locker room confontation. Hope it's not too bad.

The players are arriving in Madrid for the Year End Championships. They were all suppossed to arrive at the venue at 8:00. It's eight and the only player there is Elena.

Elena: Where is everyone? We were supposed to be here at 8:00. *The clock turns to 8:01, suddenly Maria approaches*

Maria: Hah! Fashionably late! just like any star should be!

Elena: By one minute?

Maria: Hey it's still late and thats all that matters!

Voice: Hey girls. *Lena and Masha turn around and scream*

Maria and Elena: AHH MONSTER!!!!!

Svetlana: It's just me!

Elena: Oh Sorry Svetlana

Kim: You girls are always so mean to Sveta.

Svetlana: Thank you Kim.

Kim: Ah! It speaks!

Sveta: :o *Elena and Maria are cracking up at this time*

Justine: Hello girls

Maria: Hey it's the midget!

Justine: :mad: I'll get you!

Maria: Sure whatever!

Justine: Heh, this will fix her! *Pulls out a water balloon while no one is looking* heh heh take th- hey! *Someone snatches the balloon from Juju* Who did that!? *Turns around to see Nadia*

Nadia: So who were you going to throw this at Justine?

Juju: None of your buisness! *Tries to take it from Nadia but Nadia just puts it above her head*

Nadia: Your not getting it back until you tell me who you were going to throw it at.

Juju: Fine I was going to throw it at Maria.

Nadia: Ah I see. In that case. *Nadia throws the Balloon and hits Maria right in the head*

Masha: HEY! WHO DID THAT!

Nadia: It was her. *points to Juju*

Juju: What!

Maria: Of course! I'll get you Justine!

Justine: What! No way! *Starts running*

Maria: Get back here! Thanks Nadia!

Nadia: No prob *Gives a high five*

Ameile: What is that all about?

Nadia: Justine hit Maria with a water balloon!

Sveta: Come on Nadia! just because Maria fell for it doesn't mean we did. We all know your the one who threw it!

Kim and Elena: What!? Nadia threw it!?

Sveta: :o

Nadia: :D

Martina: Hey girls! What's up!

Elena: *Looks up but then immediatly looks back down* Agh! Bright lights!

Sveta: -_-. I don't think

Kim: -_-. She ment

Ameile: -_-. It literally

Nadia: -_-. Elena.

Tournament director: Welcome ladies! Looks like you are all here! *Sees Maria and Justine running up* Please follow me.

To Be Continued[/QUOT
very good first attempt.

morningglory
Nov 1st, 2006, 07:19 PM
yet another Masha fan! I declare she's attracting a horde of new converts these days :p...

I will continue mine this evening when I get back from dinner...

Europe rocks
Nov 1st, 2006, 08:35 PM
:lol: I love all of these! They are great and so believable! Keep up the good work :yeah:

morningglory
Nov 2nd, 2006, 03:05 AM
continued from prologue
Chapter 1: The chaos begins!
*screen now shows an empty locker room*
Narrator: Eight is an interesting number.
The Chinese have deities named the 8 immortals
There are eight noble paths in Buddhism
A newborn Jewish boy is circumcized on the 8th day
There are 8 beautitudes mentioned by Jesus Christ
A sound which has double the frequency of another is often referred to as being an octave higher... there are 8 notes in a musical octave
There are eight valence electrons in most stable atoms in a compound
Carbon, the basic element of all life, has 8 allotropes, or forms.
Eight is truly a remarkable number... and 8 is also the number of...


Serena: *pokes her head out of nowhere* Will ya listen to him? He's making it sound like some stupid Shakespearan TRAGEDY or somethin'
Narrator: *a sudden change in tone* Who the heck are you? *sound of paper rustling* Hey! there ain't nothin bout this... dude! what am I supposed to do? There's a fat sistah in yo movie but I ain't seen her anywhere in the script!
Another voice from off-screen: fat, like chubby? Or fat? Or fat-fat?
Narrator: Fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat, she'd make skittles if she sat on a rainbow... for real! Dog, you should see the size of her bootay! :haha:
Serena: hey I'm standin' right here!
Voice: Aww crap! What the heck is she doing here... dude... tell her to get out of my story! If the other girls get here...
Serena: *interrupts* Hey! you... yeah you!
Narrator: Yeah? What you want, lardo-mama?
Serena: Let me tell you somethin... I don't know where your black ass's from or how big a ho yo Mama is, I couldn't care sh*t! You don't mess with a gal from Compton like that and not get lead showered in yo black ass. :armed:
*she pulls out a :armed: and BANG! A yelp of pain and then a big thud as the body collapses to the floor*
Voice: Dude... speak to me... hey! can you hear me?... I... he's.... dead... :woohoo: I can't believe it! The apartment is mine! The TV, the PS2! The bunk! The closet! All is mine... all MINE! Serena... how could I ever repay you for getting rid of my roommate?
Serena: And who the hell are you?
Voice: Me? I'm the writer of this story*camera pans to a handsome 19 yr-old college dude sitting in front of a laptop- me! :p*
Serena: Huh?
Me: Allow me to give you a demonstration.... *tap tap tap (sound of typing)*
Serena: Holy Momma! :eek:* KAPWING! a big plate of hamburgers appear in front of her*
Me: Just a little something from me... to you
Serena: How the HECK you do that?
Me: Oh it's really simple... I'm the writer after all... I just type whatever I want on the keyboard and it happens! You see I...
Serena (talking while mouth full): Shpare me all the *gulp* details... can you gimme some ketchup?
Me: I can give you anything you want. I can do anything :D
*KAPWING! Bottle of ketchup appears in Serena's hand*
Serena: What about a Chinese buffet?
Me: Sure can do! *KAPWING*
Serena: Ooh... and baked beans and banana pudding and coke and fried chicken and coleslaw and tacos and chocolate pie! (*KAPWING KAPWING KAPWING KAPWING KAPWING KAPWING and KAPWING!*)
Me: Hey it's the least I can do...
Serena: Mmm gulp MUNCH! :toothy: *all the food is gone in 3 minutes*
Me: Anything else you want before I send you back home? The other girls are gonna arrive any minute now...
Serena: A wooden hammer...
Me: A hammer? *KAPWING* Err... Serena btw what are you going to do with it? *Riiiiip (sound of screen being torn... just like in old cartoons)* Hey why are you climbing out of the screen... hey!

**** :smash: **** ..... thud...
Me: Unggghhhh *unconcious*

Serena: Now how does this thing work? Let's see... :p
*tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap*
*KAPWING! Venus appears inside the locker room*
Venus: :confused: the heck? Where am I? How did I get here?
Serena: Yoohoo! Sis! :wavey:
Venus: Ree? Huh? I can hear your voice... but I can't see you... the heck is going on?
Serena: Oh chill sis... I'm just gonna make you my first guinea pig.
Venus: huh? *tap tap tap... KAPWING... a bucket of iced water appears over her head* SPLASH! EEEeeeek! :mad: REeeee! this isn't funny!
Serena: Oh trust me sis... the fun's only begun
*tap and KAPWING...*
Venus: uhh... Ree... what the heck is that? :unsure:
Serena: It's a salmon.
Venus: A salmon? Why's it floating in midair? Hey... what the? *smack* Ow!
Serena: I knew I'd always wanted to do that :lol:
Venus: Ooh I'm *smack* so... *smack* gonna *smack* if I ever *smack* REEEEEE!!!
*Slap! Thwack! Splat! Bam!!!*
Serena: :rolls: *tap tap tap tap tap KAPWING*
Venus: Now what? A custard pie? Oh come on... that is so lame! :rolleyes:
*SPLOOOSH*
Serena: Ahh... classic... yet effective... OK then sis... you've been a good guinea pig :devil: *taptaptaptap*
*Venus is suddenly trapped in an iron maiden*
Venus: (muffled) I'm so gonna kill you! *bangs fist on the iron lid*
Serena: now to do away with you... :angel: *A chasm opens from the earth and sucks Venus down*

*sound of lockerroom door opening*
Serena: That was just practice... now... let the game begin! :devil:

(Oh no! Serena has taken over the writer's bench! What will she do to those poor girls! Will I ever wake up in time? Ahh the horror! Find out what happens next in Chapter 2: The reign of terror! Until then! CYA!)

Lefty.
Nov 2nd, 2006, 03:13 AM
:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:

Can't wait for the next installment!

LoveFifteen
Nov 2nd, 2006, 03:35 AM
It had been a long time since she had felt she was loved. The loneliness inside made her chest ache, and she yearned to be reunited with the one person who knew her true worth. She breathed a heavy sigh for she knew that she would only see him again in the afterlife, if there was one. “He played God, didn't he?” she thought to herself. “So maybe there is a God out there. Maybe one day we'll be reunited in heaven.”

Here in the locker room, she was always reminded of her ugliness. None of these beautiful naked women would ever want her. It pained her to know that her erotic fantasies would never come to pass. Which of these gorgeous superstars would ever want to make love with a monster like her? None of them would ever want to be entangled with her in a sweaty, passionate embrace, despite the fact that her prowess at giving oral delight was unmatched. Even the kindly French lesbian was only interested in one kind of partnership with her: women's doubles.

As she undressed in front of the others, they all turned away in disgust. One of them even started spraying perfume to mask the scent. She didn't understand the English word “queef”, but she always heard it being muttered when she undressed. She was too ashamed to ask the other girls what it meant. She would've asked him, but he was long gone. Oh, how she missed him. His death had shattered her spirit and left her broken. He was her master, her friend, her teacher, her everything. Her eyes began to well with tears, and she lowered her head to hide her grief. “For him, I will win it for him,” she prayed heavenward. “Yes, I will achieve victory and finally become everything you created me to be, Dr. Frankenstein.”

Sally Struthers
Nov 2nd, 2006, 03:42 AM
It had been a long time since she had felt she was loved. The loneliness inside made her chest ache, and she yearned to be reunited with the one person who knew her true worth. She breathed a heavy sigh for she knew that she would only see him again in the afterlife, if there was one. “He played God, didn't he?” she thought to herself. “So maybe there is a God out there. Maybe one day we'll be reunited in heaven.”

Here in the locker room, she was always reminded of her ugliness. None of these beautiful naked women would ever want her. It pained her to know that her erotic fantasies would never come to pass. Which of these gorgeous superstars would ever want to make love with a monster like her? None of them would ever want to be entangled with her in a sweaty, passionate embrace, despite the fact that her prowess at giving oral delight was unmatched. Even the kindly French lesbian was only interested in one kind of partnership with her: women's doubles.

As she undressed in front of the others, they all turned away in disgust. One of them even started spraying perfume to mask the scent. She didn't understand the English word “queef”, but she always heard it being muttered when she undressed. She was too ashamed to ask the other girls what it meant. She would've asked him, but he was long gone. Oh, how she missed him. His death had shattered her spirit and left her broken. He was her master, her friend, her teacher, her everything. Her eyes began to well with tears, and she lowered her head to hide her grief. “For him, I will win it for him,” she prayed heavenward. “Yes, I will achieve victory and finally become everything you created me to be, Dr. Frankenstein.”

:spit: poor sveta :tape: :tape: :tape:

LoveFifteen
Nov 2nd, 2006, 03:45 AM
:spit: poor sveta :tape: :tape: :tape:

Maybe I'll get around to doing one for Martina ... :angel:

Sally Struthers
Nov 2nd, 2006, 03:48 AM
Maybe I'll get around to doing one for Martina ... :angel:


maybe I will :p

Lefty.
Nov 2nd, 2006, 03:48 AM
Maybe I'll get around to doing one for Martina ... :angel:

You should do one player for each day left! :D 6 more days left until the matches start! :bounce:

*Of course you don't have to do it. Just if you have time or something. :)

LoveFifteen
Nov 2nd, 2006, 03:48 AM
You should do one player for each day left! :D 6 more days left until the matches start! :bounce:

*Of course you don't have to do it. Just if you have time or something. :)

Petrova and Dementieva are too boring. I could never get inspired to do one for them. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Lefty.
Nov 2nd, 2006, 03:52 AM
Petrova and Dementieva are too boring. I could never get inspired to do one for them. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Wonder if Max or Dementrov could conjur up a little something. :p :lol:

Barlos
Nov 2nd, 2006, 03:53 AM
LOL :) so funny.

I hope Sveta doesn't read this ;)

stevos
Nov 2nd, 2006, 03:55 AM
Maybe I'll get around to doing one for Martina ... :angel:

Please do! :lol: :tape: :worship:

LoveFifteen
Nov 2nd, 2006, 03:56 AM
LOL :) so funny.

I hope Sveta doesn't read this ;)

Dr. Frankenstein never taught her to read, don't worry. :angel:

Sharakim
Nov 2nd, 2006, 05:02 AM
0-15 do one of the Beligans, please?

hingis2002cn
Nov 2nd, 2006, 05:56 AM
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

Hingis。。。。

LoveFifteen
Nov 2nd, 2006, 12:41 PM
I'm scared to do a Belgian. The last time I made a joke about one, I got suspended for a week. :bigcry:

j@zmin
Nov 2nd, 2006, 12:44 PM
It had been a long time since she had felt she was loved. The loneliness inside made her chest ache, and she yearned to be reunited with the one person who knew her true worth. She breathed a heavy sigh for she knew that she would only see him again in the afterlife, if there was one. “He played God, didn't he?” she thought to herself. “So maybe there is a God out there. Maybe one day we'll be reunited in heaven.”

Here in the locker room, she was always reminded of her ugliness. None of these beautiful naked women would ever want her. It pained her to know that her erotic fantasies would never come to pass. Which of these gorgeous superstars would ever want to make love with a monster like her? None of them would ever want to be entangled with her in a sweaty, passionate embrace, despite the fact that her prowess at giving oral delight was unmatched. Even the kindly French lesbian was only interested in one kind of partnership with her: women's doubles.

As she undressed in front of the others, they all turned away in disgust. One of them even started spraying perfume to mask the scent. She didn't understand the English word “queef”, but she always heard it being muttered when she undressed. She was too ashamed to ask the other girls what it meant. She would've asked him, but he was long gone. Oh, how she missed him. His death had shattered her spirit and left her broken. He was her master, her friend, her teacher, her everything. Her eyes began to well with tears, and she lowered her head to hide her grief. “For him, I will win it for him,” she prayed heavenward. “Yes, I will achieve victory and finally become everything you created me to be, Dr. Frankenstein.”


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

You are really good.

Jogi
Nov 2nd, 2006, 12:55 PM
OMG :tape: :lol: :lol:

LoveFifteen
Nov 2nd, 2006, 01:03 PM
I will do one for Justine if I can get written confirmation from a moderator that I won't be punished for it. And yes, it will be brutally cruel, bordering on heinous. :angel:

miffedmax
Nov 2nd, 2006, 01:40 PM
0-15, you have to do a Lena one. I swear she's not boring, no matter what you and Bud say! :lol:

purplerain
Nov 2nd, 2006, 03:34 PM
I'm scared to do a Belgian. The last time I made a joke about one, I got suspended for a week. :bigcry:

:lol: :lol:

I will do one for Justine if I can get written confirmation from a moderator that I won't be punished for it. And yes, it will be brutally cruel, bordering on heinous. :angel:
I wouldn't be surprised. I doubt if I still want you to write one for justine now :devil:

LoveFifteen
Nov 2nd, 2006, 04:07 PM
^^^^

My Justine version is a masterpiece, but the Nazis mods are big on censorship. Viva freedom of expression!!!

MinnyGophers
Nov 2nd, 2006, 04:17 PM
^^^^

My Justine version is a masterpiece, but the Nazis mods are big on censorship. Viva freedom of expression!!!

I wanna read it. PM? :lol:

einna
Nov 2nd, 2006, 04:38 PM
you guys are all great!! LoveFifteen, you're the best!!

!<blocparty>!
Nov 2nd, 2006, 04:44 PM
You should be able to do a Justine one.. just stick away from Momo and you'll be fine. :tape:

MinnyGophers
Nov 2nd, 2006, 04:46 PM
You should be able to do a Justine one.. just stick away from Momo and you'll be fine. :tape:

75% of the mods here are Amelie fans so yeah.... :haha:

LoveFifteen
Nov 2nd, 2006, 05:05 PM
You should be able to do a Justine one.. just stick away from Momo and you'll be fine. :tape:

Isn't it sad that fear of censorship and punishment are thwarting my creative genuis? :bigcry:

LoveFifteen
Nov 2nd, 2006, 07:16 PM
She was dull, and she knew it. No one in the locker room took any notice of her. Even the two lesbians didn't bother to take a peek when she undressed. She might as well have been invisible. Maybe if she won a Slam people would start to give a damn? "Doubtful," she mused. "I wouldn't want to buy any products endorsed by someone like me either."

She sighed. She could win this whole event three-set nailbiter against any of these girls, and her fan club membership would still be in the double-digits range. She still remembered the insincere golf claps of appreciation after the Berlin final.

Suddenly the foul tuna-stench of a queef permeated the locker room air. She started gagging. Not even Maria's perfume could mask the scent. Hmmm, Maria's perfume line. How enviable! There had been a time when she had tried to stir up more interest in herself, hoping that maybe she'd get some endorsements. She even signed up for a message board account in the hope of getting more tennis fans to talk about her. When her posts entitled "Who loves Nadia Petrova?" and "What's your favorite part of Nadia's game?" went completely unanswered, she decided to cancel her message board account. Then she had a stroke of genious. She knew how she could get the masses talking about her ... her plan was diabolically clever. She opened a new message board account for herself, and suddenly people were talking about her. People were even championing her! She was finally on the radar screen.

She finished changing her clothes, which reminded her of another change she'd been meaning to make. It was time to get a new avatar on her pierce0415 account.

barryproudfoot
Nov 2nd, 2006, 07:21 PM
:lol:

Coffee&TV
Nov 2nd, 2006, 07:55 PM
OMG!! :spit:

timafi
Nov 2nd, 2006, 08:49 PM
She finished changing her clothes, which reminded her of another change she'd been meaning to make. It was time to get a new avatar on her pierce0415 account.

oh :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

morningglory
Nov 2nd, 2006, 08:59 PM
:haha: x12381293247329402
0-15 that Nadia one was DAMN GOOD!!!

Jogi
Nov 2nd, 2006, 09:09 PM
:haha: x12381293247329402
0-15 that Nadia one was DAMN GOOD!!!
the maria-one was better :p ;)
0-15, you got it :rocker2:

She even signed up for a message board account in the hope of getting more tennis fans to talk about her. When her posts entitled "Who loves Nadia Petrova?" and "What's your favorite part of Nadia's game?" went completely unanswered, she decided to cancel her message board account.

MEAN !!! :lol:

LoveFifteen
Nov 2nd, 2006, 09:32 PM
To be honest, I was completely uninspired when I wrote Nadia's. She's so boring, I get bored writing about her! :o

LoveFifteen
Nov 2nd, 2006, 09:33 PM
Again, I have a Justine one waiting to be posted, but I want the moderators to promise me amnesty first. And no, I'm not joking! :lol:

!<blocparty>!
Nov 2nd, 2006, 09:44 PM
She was dull, and she knew it. No one in the locker room took any notice of her. Even the two lesbians didn't bother to take a peek when she undressed. She might as well have been invisible. Maybe if she won a Slam people would start to give a damn? "Doubtful," she mused. "I wouldn't want to buy any products endorsed by someone like me either."

She sighed. She could win this whole event three-set nailbiter against any of these girls, and her fan club membership would still be in the double-digits range. She still remembered the insincere golf claps of appreciation after the Berlin final.

Suddenly the foul tuna-stench of a queef permeated the locker room air. She started gagging. Not even Maria's perfume could mask the scent. Hmmm, Maria's perfume line. How enviable! There had been a time when she had tried to stir up more interest in herself, hoping that maybe she'd get some endorsements. She even signed up for a message board account in the hope of getting more tennis fans to talk about her. When her posts entitled "Who loves Nadia Petrova?" and "What's your favorite part of Nadia's game?" went completely unanswered, she decided to cancel her message board account. Then she had a stroke of genious. She knew how she could get the masses talking about her ... her plan was diabolically clever. She opened a new message board account for herself, and suddenly people were talking about her. People were even championing her! She was finally on the radar screen.

She finished changing her clothes, which reminded her of another change she'd been meaning to make. It was time to get a new avatar on her pierce0415 account.

OMG. *wipes tears from eyes* :crying2::haha:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v697/bloc_party/Nadia.jpg

:fiery:

Bumsby
Nov 2nd, 2006, 10:22 PM
Again, I have a Justine one waiting to be posted, but I want the moderators to promise me amnesty first. And no, I'm not joking! :lol:
Please 0-15 post it, we'll demonstrate all over the streets threads of Wtaworld if the mods suspend you... you're amazing!

Do you plan to do a Momo one? I'd love it.... ok, only if it's not too cruel :scared: ;) j/k

LoveFifteen
Nov 2nd, 2006, 10:36 PM
^^^^

I can do one for Momo. It'll be harsh, but she can take it, after all she's half a .... meh, nevermind. :angel:

maryc
Nov 2nd, 2006, 10:57 PM
Again, I have a Justine one waiting to be posted, but I want the moderators to promise me amnesty first. And no, I'm not joking! :lol:

If you don't hear from the mods, could you PM me the Justine one?
Thanks!

Mary (you know you are gonna keep getting requests...)

moby
Nov 2nd, 2006, 11:22 PM
Again, I have a Justine one waiting to be posted, but I want the moderators to promise me amnesty first. And no, I'm not joking! :lol:You should be safe if you steer clear of her mother. ;)

LoveFifteen
Nov 2nd, 2006, 11:25 PM
You should be safe if you steer clear of her mother. ;)

The mother is an integral part of my Justine story! :scared:

MinnyGophers
Nov 2nd, 2006, 11:27 PM
The mother is an integral part of my Justine story! :scared:

as long as there is nothing insulting about the mother, is what is meant. If you do have bad stuff about the mom, you'll be crossing the line.

Bumsby
Nov 2nd, 2006, 11:29 PM
^^^^

I can do one for Momo. It'll be harsh, but she can take it, after all she's half a .... meh, nevermind. :angel:
:fiery: ;)

j/k, I prepare myself to endure the worst :scared:

LoveFifteen
Nov 2nd, 2006, 11:31 PM
as long as there is nothing insulting about the mother, is what is meant. If you do have bad stuff about the mom, you'll be crossing the line.


Ummmm, then I crossed the line by like 1,000 miles. :lol:

IceHock
Nov 2nd, 2006, 11:32 PM
I think lovefifteen should just do all the players that qould make a good story personally.

Bumsby
Nov 2nd, 2006, 11:33 PM
You can pm the story to, like, 10 posters and they'll have to agree to post in on the public forum so you won't be suspended, and not even the unguilty / equally guilty 10 posters

:scratch:

stevos
Nov 3rd, 2006, 12:26 AM
Please pm me the Justine one! :lol:

You are gifted. :worship:

LoveFifteen
Nov 3rd, 2006, 01:31 AM
When I get home, I will PM everyone the Justine one that I've written. It's really, really evil though. I am almost regretting the fact that I wrote it. I am sick in the head. :o

Lefty.
Nov 3rd, 2006, 01:56 AM
When I get home, I will PM everyone the Justine one that I've written. It's really, really evil though. I am almost regretting the fact that I wrote it. I am sick in the head. :o

Me too please! :D

shady
Nov 3rd, 2006, 02:31 AM
yeah! can you send me one too? you are an excellent writer and i would love to read it:)

MinnyGophers
Nov 3rd, 2006, 03:24 AM
i wanna read it still.

LeRoy.
Nov 3rd, 2006, 03:47 AM
When I get home, I will PM everyone the Justine one that I've written. It's really, really evil though. I am almost regretting the fact that I wrote it. I am sick in the head. :o


Me too !! Me too !! :hearts:

Barlos
Nov 3rd, 2006, 04:02 AM
and me :)

TennisPlayingFox
Nov 3rd, 2006, 04:43 AM
I would like to read it too please!

Hardiansf
Nov 3rd, 2006, 04:51 AM
so do I. Please, 0-15. You are genius!!

Anna F'd Enrique
Nov 3rd, 2006, 06:16 AM
send me a pm 0-15!

Sharakim
Nov 3rd, 2006, 06:21 AM
0-15 send me the Justine one too, please?

Ntour
Nov 3rd, 2006, 08:35 AM
Pm Me Too!

<Sven>
Nov 3rd, 2006, 08:51 AM
0-15 your stuff is really cutting edge...
I'd love to get the Justine story as well ;)

Kunal
Nov 3rd, 2006, 08:57 AM
nice story

Lefty.
Nov 4th, 2006, 01:44 AM
continued from prologue
Chapter 1: The chaos begins!
*screen now shows an empty locker room*
Narrator: Eight is an interesting number.
The Chinese have deities named the 8 immortals
There are eight noble paths in Buddhism
A newborn Jewish boy is circumcized on the 8th day
There are 8 beautitudes mentioned by Jesus Christ
A sound which has double the frequency of another is often referred to as being an octave higher... there are 8 notes in a musical octave
There are eight valence electrons in most stable atoms in a compound
Carbon, the basic element of all life, has 8 allotropes, or forms.
Eight is truly a remarkable number... and 8 is also the number of...


Serena: *pokes her head out of nowhere* Will ya listen to him? He's making it sound like some stupid Shakespearan TRAGEDY or somethin'
Narrator: *a sudden change in tone* Who the heck are you? *sound of paper rustling* Hey! there ain't nothin bout this... dude! what am I supposed to do? There's a fat sistah in yo movie but I ain't seen her anywhere in the script!
Another voice from off-screen: fat, like chubby? Or fat? Or fat-fat?
Narrator: Fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat, she'd make skittles if she sat on a rainbow... for real! Dog, you should see the size of her bootay! :haha:
Serena: hey I'm standin' right here!
Voice: Aww crap! What the heck is she doing here... dude... tell her to get out of my story! If the other girls get here...
Serena: *interrupts* Hey! you... yeah you!
Narrator: Yeah? What you want, lardo-mama?
Serena: Let me tell you somethin... I don't know where your black ass's from or how big a ho yo Mama is, I couldn't care sh*t! You don't mess with a gal from Compton like that and not get lead showered in yo black ass. :armed:
*she pulls out a :armed: and BANG! A yelp of pain and then a big thud as the body collapses to the floor*
Voice: Dude... speak to me... hey! can you hear me?... I... he's.... dead... :woohoo: I can't believe it! The apartment is mine! The TV, the PS2! The bunk! The closet! All is mine... all MINE! Serena... how could I ever repay you for getting rid of my roommate?
Serena: And who the hell are you?
Voice: Me? I'm the writer of this story*camera pans to a handsome 19 yr-old college dude sitting in front of a laptop- me! :p*
Serena: Huh?
Me: Allow me to give you a demonstration.... *tap tap tap (sound of typing)*
Serena: Holy Momma! :eek:* KAPWING! a big plate of hamburgers appear in front of her*
Me: Just a little something from me... to you
Serena: How the HECK you do that?
Me: Oh it's really simple... I'm the writer after all... I just type whatever I want on the keyboard and it happens! You see I...
Serena (talking while mouth full): Shpare me all the *gulp* details... can you gimme some ketchup?
Me: I can give you anything you want. I can do anything :D
*KAPWING! Bottle of ketchup appears in Serena's hand*
Serena: What about a Chinese buffet?
Me: Sure can do! *KAPWING*
Serena: Ooh... and baked beans and banana pudding and coke and fried chicken and coleslaw and tacos and chocolate pie! (*KAPWING KAPWING KAPWING KAPWING KAPWING KAPWING and KAPWING!*)
Me: Hey it's the least I can do...
Serena: Mmm gulp MUNCH! :toothy: *all the food is gone in 3 minutes*
Me: Anything else you want before I send you back home? The other girls are gonna arrive any minute now...
Serena: A wooden hammer...
Me: A hammer? *KAPWING* Err... Serena btw what are you going to do with it? *Riiiiip (sound of screen being torn... just like in old cartoons)* Hey why are you climbing out of the screen... hey!

**** :smash: **** ..... thud...
Me: Unggghhhh *unconcious*

Serena: Now how does this thing work? Let's see... :p
*tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap*
*KAPWING! Venus appears inside the locker room*
Venus: :confused: the heck? Where am I? How did I get here?
Serena: Yoohoo! Sis! :wavey:
Venus: Ree? Huh? I can hear your voice... but I can't see you... the heck is going on?
Serena: Oh chill sis... I'm just gonna make you my first guinea pig.
Venus: huh? *tap tap tap... KAPWING... a bucket of iced water appears over her head* SPLASH! EEEeeeek! :mad: REeeee! this isn't funny!
Serena: Oh trust me sis... the fun's only begun
*tap and KAPWING...*
Venus: uhh... Ree... what the heck is that? :unsure:
Serena: It's a salmon.
Venus: A salmon? Why's it floating in midair? Hey... what the? *smack* Ow!
Serena: I knew I'd always wanted to do that :lol:
Venus: Ooh I'm *smack* so... *smack* gonna *smack* if I ever *smack* REEEEEE!!!
*Slap! Thwack! Splat! Bam!!!*
Serena: :rolls: *tap tap tap tap tap KAPWING*
Venus: Now what? A custard pie? Oh come on... that is so lame! :rolleyes:
*SPLOOOSH*
Serena: Ahh... classic... yet effective... OK then sis... you've been a good guinea pig :devil: *taptaptaptap*
*Venus is suddenly trapped in an iron maiden*
Venus: (muffled) I'm so gonna kill you! *bangs fist on the iron lid*
Serena: now to do away with you... :angel: *A chasm opens from the earth and sucks Venus down*

*sound of lockerroom door opening*
Serena: That was just practice... now... let the game begin! :devil:

(Oh no! Serena has taken over the writer's bench! What will she do to those poor girls! Will I ever wake up in time? Ahh the horror! Find out what happens next in Chapter 2: The reign of terror! Until then! CYA!)

Ch. 2 coming soon MG?

bellascarlett
Nov 4th, 2006, 04:29 AM
She was dull, and she knew it. No one in the locker room took any notice of her. Even the two lesbians didn't bother to take a peek when she undressed. She might as well have been invisible. Maybe if she won a Slam people would start to give a damn? "Doubtful," she mused. "I wouldn't want to buy any products endorsed by someone like me either."

She sighed. She could win this whole event three-set nailbiter against any of these girls, and her fan club membership would still be in the double-digits range. She still remembered the insincere golf claps of appreciation after the Berlin final.

Suddenly the foul tuna-stench of a queef permeated the locker room air. She started gagging. Not even Maria's perfume could mask the scent. Hmmm, Maria's perfume line. How enviable! There had been a time when she had tried to stir up more interest in herself, hoping that maybe she'd get some endorsements. She even signed up for a message board account in the hope of getting more tennis fans to talk about her. When her posts entitled "Who loves Nadia Petrova?" and "What's your favorite part of Nadia's game?" went completely unanswered, she decided to cancel her message board account. Then she had a stroke of genious. She knew how she could get the masses talking about her ... her plan was diabolically clever. She opened a new message board account for herself, and suddenly people were talking about her. People were even championing her! She was finally on the radar screen.

She finished changing her clothes, which reminded her of another change she'd been meaning to make. It was time to get a new avatar on her pierce0415 account.

:haha: :haha: :rolls:

:devil:

Asif_Nawaz
Nov 4th, 2006, 04:42 AM
love fifteen plzz pm me the story abt Justine!!

ctan88
Nov 4th, 2006, 07:50 AM
0-15 - ure stories are awesome, you have got talent! I would love to hear Justine's if you get a chance! :)

Maria Croft
Nov 4th, 2006, 08:07 AM
0-15 just amazing! :yeah: :lol:

hingis-seles
Nov 4th, 2006, 08:12 AM
Dude, PM me the Justine story. Thanks.

bellascarlett
Nov 4th, 2006, 08:15 AM
Dude, PM me the Justine story. Thanks.

Me too please.

Jogi
Nov 4th, 2006, 09:29 AM
Me too please.

me too^^
thx

DomenicDemaria
Nov 4th, 2006, 11:53 PM
Can u PM me it too! Ur stories are so hilarious

Ferosh
Nov 5th, 2006, 12:09 AM
She was dull, and she knew it. No one in the locker room took any notice of her. Even the two lesbians didn't bother to take a peek when she undressed. She might as well have been invisible. Maybe if she won a Slam people would start to give a damn? "Doubtful," she mused. "I wouldn't want to buy any products endorsed by someone like me either."

She sighed. She could win this whole event three-set nailbiter against any of these girls, and her fan club membership would still be in the double-digits range. She still remembered the insincere golf claps of appreciation after the Berlin final.

Suddenly the foul tuna-stench of a queef permeated the locker room air. She started gagging. Not even Maria's perfume could mask the scent. Hmmm, Maria's perfume line. How enviable! There had been a time when she had tried to stir up more interest in herself, hoping that maybe she'd get some endorsements. She even signed up for a message board account in the hope of getting more tennis fans to talk about her. When her posts entitled "Who loves Nadia Petrova?" and "What's your favorite part of Nadia's game?" went completely unanswered, she decided to cancel her message board account. Then she had a stroke of genious. She knew how she could get the masses talking about her ... her plan was diabolically clever. She opened a new message board account for herself, and suddenly people were talking about her. People were even championing her! She was finally on the radar screen.

She finished changing her clothes, which reminded her of another change she'd been meaning to make. It was time to get a new avatar on her pierce0415 account.

:spit: Brilliant!

spencercarlos
Nov 5th, 2006, 12:34 AM
Dude, PM me the Justine story. Thanks.
Me too please :p

~Kiera~
Nov 5th, 2006, 01:24 AM
LoveFifteen, could you PM me the Justine story too, please?

morningglory
Nov 5th, 2006, 01:41 AM
dang I know it's nasty but so many people have asked for it :tape:
0-15 may I please get a glimpse of your genius via PM as well? ;) :p

iPatty
Nov 5th, 2006, 01:44 AM
I'll join the 537454 people that want to see your masterpiece. :D

please. pretty please, oh Great One.

timafi
Nov 5th, 2006, 03:23 AM
Love me too

LoveFifteen
Nov 5th, 2006, 03:36 AM
Guys, I've decided not to send out the Justine one. It was funny to me when I wrote it, but it's actually SO evil. It included child molestation, infanticide, rampant homosexuality, and inserting carcinogens into someone's anus. :o

shady
Nov 5th, 2006, 03:57 AM
whoa...that's some heavy shit

FaceyFacem
Nov 5th, 2006, 03:59 AM
omg, i prob would've laughed anyway... try for elena, martina, kim, amelie, or a new justine, it'll be awesome to have a full set of 8 before the event!

MinnyGophers
Nov 5th, 2006, 04:03 AM
inserting carcinogens into someone's anus. :o

HOLY SMOKE WTF BWAHhAHHAHAHA :haha:

All in all, I don't want to read it.

But please continue your LRCs, make up new ones. Yours are different from the usual ones.

Shoulderpova
Nov 5th, 2006, 04:06 AM
I want to hear Henin-Hardenne's story :(
0-15 please please :hug: :kiss:

maryc
Nov 5th, 2006, 04:36 PM
Guys, I've decided not to send out the Justine one. It was funny to me when I wrote it, but it's actually SO evil. It included child molestation, infanticide, rampant homosexuality, and inserting carcinogens into someone's anus. :o

Well, I approve of rampant homosexuality, so I hope you aren't...um...
saying all those things are equally evil.

But hey, this has given me new insight: calling someone Igor
and making fun of their bodily odors--well, hey, that's a love tap
from you! You love Sveta, admit it!!!

(I did enjoy your writing, very much.)

Mary

LoveFifteen
Nov 5th, 2006, 04:49 PM
^^^

I'm gay so I don't think rampant homosexuality is evil. :lol:

I love Igor ... she inspries me to make jokes! ;)

maryc
Nov 5th, 2006, 04:56 PM
^^^

I'm gay so I don't think rampant homosexuality is evil. :lol:


Sorry, Love, I didn't know! (I don't read GM enough to keep
up on everyone's proclivities, unfortunately.)

Mary

Polikarpov
Nov 6th, 2006, 03:48 AM
The Locker Room, Madrid.

Kim walks in: How nice to see everyone all back together again. The eight best players in the world.

Patty: Nine.

Martina H: What are you doing here?

Patty: I'm first reserve, in case one of you drops out. (Offers Martina a plate) Do you fancy a nice tasty mushroom? - or perhaps some of these nice brown berries?

Martina: No thanks. Shouldn't you be training?

Patty: Training? I don't need no steenking training! I just use my natural talent.

Justine: But how is running off with wacko con-men going to help you in tennis?

Maria: (hangs up curious, heavy-skirted dress) What's that you're eating, Sveta?

Svetlana: Nothing. Just raw steak and er... Cough medicine. I have to build the big muscles, you know. It's good for the tennis - and if Boris Yeltsin ever tries to hug me, I break his back!

Amelie: Ah, fame! It brings so many things. I think they're going to put me on a postage stamp, now that I've won two slams.

Justine: That will confuse a lot of people.

Amelie: Why?

Justine: They won't know which side of it to spit on. Allez!

Maria: Good one, Justine. But there's no need to kneel. Why don't you stand up?

Justine: I AM standing up!

Maria: You know what was so great about my last tournament? It was that I won even though I was playing badly.

Elena D: I wish I could win when I play badly.

Maria: But then you'd be World Number One.

Elena: I've been practising my serve since last year. My new improved serve is much more powerful.

Maria: What new improved serve?

Elena: Didn't you see it? I've got this massive 113 MPH serve now. But I only use it once per match. I don't want to wear it out.

Kim: Didn't I see you playing in Linz, Nadia? You got slaughtered! You were moving like the living dead!

Nadia: I don't move anything like Nastya. Anyhow, she's not even here this year!

Kim: But your game has improved over last year. What do you do?

Nadia: I use powerful mental training. Every day I look at the mirror and say: "You are strong, you are beautiful, you are a winner!

Elena: And what happens?

Nadia: The mirror says, "Thanks, you fat loser."

Kim: Oh.

Nice one! The latter parts are the best!:lol:

mike/topgun
Nov 6th, 2006, 05:33 PM
LoveFifteen :wavey:
pleazzzz pm me the JuJu one:hatoff:
great stuff guys :worship:

maryc
Nov 6th, 2006, 06:15 PM
OK, but one thing: whose anus? (And you can lie; we'll never know.)

Mary

LoveFifteen
Nov 6th, 2006, 06:28 PM
OK, but one thing: whose anus? (And you can lie; we'll never know.)

Mary

Putting carcinogens into someone's ass would give them intestinal cancer ... I'll let you ponder that one for a bit. I'm sure you can figure out whose anus it was ... but I'll *NEVER* tell you who did it!!! :lol:

Justine Fan
Nov 6th, 2006, 06:48 PM
"Amelie: Ah, fame! It brings so many things. I think they're going to put me on a postage stamp, now that I've won two slams.

Justine: That will confuse a lot of people.

Amelie: Why?

Justine: They won't know which side of it to spit on. Allez!"


:haha: :haha: Excellent!!!!

St.Sebastian
Nov 6th, 2006, 07:16 PM
The Locker Room, Madrid.

Kim walks in: How nice to see everyone all back together again. The eight best players in the world.

Patty: Nine.




:haha:

St.Sebastian
Nov 6th, 2006, 07:23 PM
0-15 :bowdown:

maryc
Nov 6th, 2006, 07:24 PM
Putting carcinogens into someone's ass would give them intestinal cancer ...

So evil.

Mary

LoveFifteen
Nov 6th, 2006, 07:31 PM
This is a bad rep I just got from Justine Fan ... :haha:

:devil: Correct & I'll make sure you do again if you post any slanderous/libelous posts/pictures of JHH. I printed out your various posts and sent them to WTAworld & JHH's lawyers and informed WTAworld of what I was doing. Hence your suspension ;)

But seriously, that is why I am NOT sending my JHH story out to anyone. It will get leaked, and my ass will get banned! :lol:

Justine Fan
Nov 6th, 2006, 07:37 PM
This is a bad rep I just got from Justine Fan ... :haha:

:devil: Correct & I'll make sure you do again if you post any slanderous/libelous posts/pictures of JHH. I printed out your various posts and sent them to WTAworld & JHH's lawyers and informed WTAworld of what I was doing. Hence your suspension ;)

But seriously, that is why I am NOT sending my JHH story out to anyone. It will get leaked, and my ass will get banned! :lol:

:lol:

I knew you were going to post it .... that's why I said it! :lol:

Glad you have learnt your lesson.

The thing is, I enjoy everybody else's locker room confrontation posts etc, the trouble is with you is ... you just go too far and are highly insulting and make slanderous posts.

I've also noticed in a couple of threads on here posters insulting Martina, but you don't like it! So why is it OK for you to do, but if someone highly insults Martina you don't like it? :confused:

Anyway, I still print out all your slanderous/libelous posts and I do post them onto the lawyers ;)

lecciones
Nov 7th, 2006, 04:16 AM
*Maria skips into the locker room
Elena: I feel pretty, oh so pretty
Nadia: I feel pretty and wittty and--
Maria: Shut up!
Elena: Sorry Anna--I mean Maria.
*Justine enters and ignores everyone.
Kim: Hi, Justine! You played such a good match today! I don't think I'll ever beat you again!
Justine: Let's 'ope so.
Maria: One for four, one for four! Looking forward to another final?
Amelie: Do you think you can stomach it?
Kim: Be quiet guys, stop being so mean, I think Justine's the greatest player of our generation and everyone else is just jealous. Justine, we'll be friends for life, won't we?
Justine: Kim, if you 'aven't noticed, we aren't black sisters and we only 'ave one middle name!
*Martina enters
Martina: Hi guys! How are you?
Kim: Hi Martina! So nice to have you back! How do you like your chances here?
Martina: Well, there's no Leeendsay, no Venus and Serena so I have to admit I kind of like my chances!
Amelie: Not as long as you get served off the court by Madame Mal Ventre.
Maria: Amelie, you're just jealous because you're not a great #1 and you're going to lose that ranking at the end of the week!
Amelie: I will not! *SNIFF*
Elena: Martina, you're just a flash in the pan. I'm the only one here who's actually played this event every year this decade.
Nadia: Yeah, at the rate you're going you might even win another match by the time the next decade is here.
Martina: Don't cry, it's so nice to have you here. If I didn't see how your joke of a serve made two slam finals I probably wouldn't have come back.


I like this better not only because they didnt make ONE PLAYER look like an evil whatever, which of course she isn't. Whats up with the forums anyway with these kinda things. They always make it personal, can't it just be objective and statistical with arguments open to comments and aggreeing to disagree in a pleasant manner?

lecciones
Nov 7th, 2006, 04:23 AM
Originally Posted by xan
The Locker Room, Madrid.

Kim walks in: How nice to see everyone all back together again. The eight best players in the world.

Patty: Nine.

Martina H: What are you doing here?

Patty: I'm first reserve, in case one of you drops out. (Offers Martina a plate) Do you fancy a nice tasty mushroom? - or perhaps some of these nice brown berries?

Martina: No thanks. Shouldn't you be training?

Patty: Training? I don't need no steenking training! I just use my natural talent.

Justine: But how is running off with wacko con-men going to help you in tennis?

Maria: (hangs up curious, heavy-skirted dress) What's that you're eating, Sveta?

Svetlana: Nothing. Just raw steak and er... Cough medicine. I have to build the big muscles, you know. It's good for the tennis - and if Boris Yeltsin ever tries to hug me, I break his back!

Amelie: Ah, fame! It brings so many things. I think they're going to put me on a postage stamp, now that I've won two slams.

Justine: That will confuse a lot of people.

Amelie: Why?

Justine: They won't know which side of it to spit on. Allez!

Maria: Good one, Justine. But there's no need to kneel. Why don't you stand up?

Justine: I AM standing up!

Maria: You know what was so great about my last tournament? It was that I won even though I was playing badly.

Elena D: I wish I could win when I play badly.

Maria: But then you'd be World Number One.

Elena: I've been practising my serve since last year. My new improved serve is much more powerful.

Maria: What new improved serve?

Elena: Didn't you see it? I've got this massive 113 MPH serve now. But I only use it once per match. I don't want to wear it out.

Kim: Didn't I see you playing in Linz, Nadia? You got slaughtered! You were moving like the living dead!

Nadia: I don't move anything like Nastya. Anyhow, she's not even here this year!

Kim: But your game has improved over last year. What do you do?

Nadia: I use powerful mental training. Every day I look at the mirror and say: "You are strong, you are beautiful, you are a winner!

Elena: And what happens?

Nadia: The mirror says, "Thanks, you fat loser."

Kim: Oh.

Nice one! The latter parts are the best!:lol:


This is so funny you guys are hilarious!!! keep those nice ones coming!