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View Full Version : The "Jenn has luck and no talent" thread for JENN FANS


Shane54
May 24th, 2002, 10:38 PM
Hey Jenn fans: I thought I might be sarcastic here and show some of the Jenn "naysayers" how their posts appear: Let the fun begin...Don't you get tired of reading posts along these lines:

"I think Jennifer would have to be really lucky this year. The only way she can win is to have an easy draw, and that is nearly impossible since anyone can beat her and she only beats her opponents when they are injured or sick.
I don't think Jennifer even stands a chance against Serena, I mean Serena has beaten her like so bad the last five times. I mean the matches were like all 6-1, 6-0. Jennifer had absolutely no chance in the match. HER SERVE never let her down to let Serena win those matches(HEHEHEHEHEH)" I mean with that record everyone should be willing to bet their firstborn on Serena winning the possible SF.

And as for her victories over Rena in the past: they are simple. Rena either had a stomach virus, cramps, flu, taped knees are something. How else could Jenn"No Talent" win those matches."

And if werent for Martina being tired in OZ 2001, Kim being a first time finalist at RG in 2001, Martina squandering those match points in OZ 2002, we would be looking at a No slam Capriati. I think personally, they need to put astericks in the bottom of the pages in the record books and say that Miss Capriati was given those titles and is not worthy like every single person who has won a GS. Jennifer I hate to say it but you are the sad exception in over 100 years of tennis.

Jennifer don't go to Paris and try to defend it is futile. You are not capable of beating the top players. Only the 9 others in the top ten are.

JENN FANS JOIN IN ON THE FUN! LET ME HEAR SOME OF YOUR SARCASM!!!! I AM HAVING A BALL!!

ßcoene
May 24th, 2002, 10:59 PM
I like this thread, but I have no inspiration.

Shane54
May 24th, 2002, 11:02 PM
Even though Kimmie, Monica, have losing records against Venus, they can still win because they are loved and talented. Sorry, Jenn you have no chance because I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU ARE A MAJOR THREAT, so I think I will just continue with my put downs and refuse to give you credit for being capable of beating anyone.
Jennifer you are really the worst person in the world. You deserve to be locked up with serial killers....let's just hope the serial killers are protected from those curse words..their "holy" ears might be corrupted.....

I am so glad i have never uttered a "curse" word in my life, even in a time of anger. And that goes for me and at least 100 other posters who have started a club "The tongues of the Nuns"

paigery
May 24th, 2002, 11:14 PM
LOL http://images.bonzi.com/images/gorillatalk.gif

Shane54
May 25th, 2002, 03:12 AM
bump

Jarrett
May 25th, 2002, 03:40 AM
Even though Kimmie, Monica, have losing records against Venus, they can still win because they are loved and talented.

LOL At least they have won against her.

I mean with that record everyone should be willing to bet their firstborn on Serena winning the possible SF.

I think that pretty much sums it up! :)

Shane54
May 25th, 2002, 04:05 AM
Thank you Jarrett you just proved the whole point of the thread
:) :D ;)

Hello Houston Texas :wavey:
Lafayette, La here:wavey:

Jarrett
May 25th, 2002, 06:23 AM
Hello! lol

Crazy Canuck
May 25th, 2002, 07:49 AM
Some people just don't get it, eh?

I personally think that Jenn should retire.

Her lack of talent is an embarrassment to the sport, and all women in general.

Crazy Canuck
May 25th, 2002, 07:56 AM
I mean at Aus 2001 she had to beat the past 3 people who had won the event, with 8 Oz titles between them - Monica, LIndsay, Martina.

At the FO 2001, she only had to beat Serena (who her fans tout is a miracle on clay), Martina Hingis(2 times finalist), and Kim Clijsters (put up such a big fight, it caused the longest third set in FO finals ever :o ). Its clear, this was luck. Serena was sick (or was it injured this time?), Martina was just giving Jenn a hand, and Kim was a newbie who no one had ever heard of before.

Then Aus 2002 rolls around - and she only has to beat Amelie Mauresmo ( a no talent schmuch), Kim Clisjters (her again? Kim who?), and Martina Hingis (Martina who? Its not like she's won it before!).

Her draws are so easy, that I could win slams with them.

Shane54
May 25th, 2002, 08:01 AM
I know it absolutely disgusts me how Capriati wins...She is so lucky. You have got to be lucky. She had at least 25 or more scenarios come together at once to allow her to win. She really is a no talent. I am getting sick of her 6-0 blowout losses to Serena. I wish Jenn could at least get to 3 sets with the best. Then I would be so happy.

Hey Becca let's get a petition going to make Jenn play twice as many matches as the others to win a GS. Then we will see how luck come in....;) ;)

And I am getting sick of Jenn not having to play Venus, Serena, and Lindsay in every tournament.

DAMMIT Jennifer! It is your responsibility to see that the other girls win their matches! B**ch how dare you allow Venus to lose to Barbara in the 1st round year. I will never forgive you....:fiery:

Shane54
May 25th, 2002, 08:05 AM
Hey Becca! Good to see you from the old board! Memories.....:wavey:

Crazy Canuck
May 25th, 2002, 08:06 AM
I think that Jenn paid Venus to lose early, then poisoned Serena's food - at the FO last year.

It really is pathetic, isn't it?

Shane54
May 25th, 2002, 08:09 AM
You think criminal charges will be filed?
uuuuhhmmm...so maybe Serena wasn't faking after all?:confused:

veryborednow
May 25th, 2002, 11:35 AM
hello :)

id love to write something inspirational, but i dont have time (im too tired)

GO JEN!!!!

DEETHELICK
May 25th, 2002, 11:58 AM
Jen has never beaten Venus, that is such a poor reflection on her, a no talent has been who won 3 slams by luck. Kim has beaten Venus, but Jen has never lost to Kim. What does that say about Jen....hmmmmm!!

Go Jenny :D

babywhale
May 25th, 2002, 12:22 PM
i agree that payments were made regarding Jen's slam wins. Remember, the ITF run the grand slams and not the WTA. It would be too risky for the WTA to take payments to fix draws and fix line judge decisions, but the ITF would be seen as more independent.

Funny that the only wins Jenny has in the last two years is 3 ITF events and NO WTA events.

it's not luck guys, it's corruption...........putting all that drugs money to good use I suppose!

paigery
May 25th, 2002, 12:23 PM
All Jennifer does is wear the same thing over and over, she is so stupid. And she must be money hungry, can't afford new outfits. I bet she squandered her money in bars and on drugs. Yeah she looked high at her last match, and of couse my fave (ranking 601) beat her ass! You would think Jen would care about her image. But she never should have lasted this long anyways. Look at her stats which I have compiled in my thread " I am a tennis guru and your not" and you will see how I compared Jen to every player on the tour and went back to 1975 to do it. She is a loser................

http://filastore.fila.com/images/product/small/u21412_490_s.gif http://filastore.fila.com/images/product/small/u21410_490_s.gif

kazzmazz
May 25th, 2002, 12:54 PM
Hi paigery. Not only is Jen a talentless hack but she's a total bitch who refuses to shake hands with anybody. Even when we see her shaking hands, it doesn't count, because she clearly spreads her fingers at equal 20 degree angles from each other. This is the code language for "f@%& off" me and my kindergarten class developed to let the teachers know what we thought about their napping policy. I can't believe what a poor sport she is.

Nimi
May 25th, 2002, 02:27 PM
LOL!!!!!!!! @ all of u!!!

woman should run & hide in shadows when Jennifer is #1 in a womans sport!

Shane54
May 25th, 2002, 05:36 PM
Thank you Jennifer fans for the posts. I am really having a good time reading these posts. It also let me vent a little.
Thank you Jenn fans! :wavey:

Crazy Canuck
May 25th, 2002, 05:57 PM
Kazzmazz - ONG no way! You did that at your school too :o

here I was thinking I was the only one noticing Jenns secret code language.

Down with Jenn :fiery:

kazzmazz
May 25th, 2002, 06:19 PM
:wavey:

GO JEN!!!

paigery
May 25th, 2002, 06:28 PM
My friend goforitV125 told me that this is the reason why flappy Cappy can't win matches. Because she is a alcoholic partier. Look at this picture of cappy with her buddies.
http://www.goofyhumor.com/images/92.jpg

See that's why ol` homegirl gets by when other players have a bad day or are truly injured. She makes me sick...............Guess which one is Jen Capp!

Can't beat Uranus, not the true number one

Cybelle Darkholme
May 25th, 2002, 06:33 PM
Really for the amount she plays she doesnt win that much. She only has two tournament wins in her 52 weeks, of course those are the two to have.

Shane54
May 25th, 2002, 06:44 PM
You are absolutely right Cybelle. Jennifer doesnt win much. And that is a pathetic stat being that all she plays is Tier 3 and 4's. And Jenn stop playing those satellite tourneys also. Start playing tournies where V and S are playing and other top players. That way if you lose it will be more justifiable. Dammit Jenn have guts and play the big tourneys.... If you do then I might have some respect for you :fiery: :fiery:




We love you Jenn!

paigery
May 25th, 2002, 06:53 PM
Yeah just like Jen Capriati to not give a hand shake, do you know that today she shot my fave the bird during their match. No I am not kidding. And of course I know it is true. She has such bad behavior and thinks she owns the courts. Well, I did not actually see her do it on the TV version of the match but me and my friends over in our faves section " Hitta Hard Hideaway" Where fans of Lala Lande feel at home. Anyways, yeah we saw the whole thing from one of our posters that was there. She said that Cappy did this upside down bird deal after a point she lost. And did it like three more times. This whole bird thang was crazy off the hook! She better watch doing that. I hope she is fined like a million dollars, rude a** ! I guess her parents showed her early on to do it cause of course we have our means and we found this photo of Jen Cappy when she was a baby and she is doing that bird thing already. I bet Stefano the creep and mafia man taught it to her, shoot. No lying. The family is evil man. Go my faves and don't worry about that Cappy girl she is a lucky loser.

http://www.wowfunny.com/pictures/beerbaby.jpg

See, shoot don't bash our faves cuz we win everything and are always right.

Crazy Canuck
May 25th, 2002, 06:58 PM
OMG Paigery, Jenn was evil even back then :(

I can't beleive that no one has brought up the obvious steroid use yet!

I mean, what with that masculine jawline, and receding hairline, the deeper voice..... Its so obvious!

Shane54
May 25th, 2002, 07:05 PM
Yes, Becca you are right about the steroids. How else can Miss Lucky No Talent win? While the other girls who win GS work hard, that does not apply to Jenn. I can't stand the fact that Jenn won some GS and my fav didn't so I am glad the rumors started. I want all the attention to be on my favorite player!
I want to congratulate all 1300+ women on the tour for their honesty and hard work. Jenn you are the exception. If things were done fairly, I know your ranking would be between 957 and 963.

paigery
May 25th, 2002, 07:08 PM
Hey kazz!!!! LOL@you :p

Jakeev
May 26th, 2002, 09:47 AM
Lol all Jen fans and I love it how all the Jen haters decided to stay away from this thread.

Those chickens.....;)

Greenout
May 26th, 2002, 11:43 AM
" Just because she makes a comeback out of nowhere
10 years later and wins the AO 2001, RG 2001 and
defends her AO title in 2002 doesn't mean she's
a number 1 player. Venus and Serena are still greater"



ROTF!!!




You guys are just as funny as the Dokic supporters.
Thank god..you have a sense of humor. :)


Cheers.

c2
May 26th, 2002, 08:02 PM
you guys are killing me !! this is great... love the thread.

But you are definitely right. That talent-free Jenn has got to get off the court! She is a flash in the pan. I knew it when she had those incredible wins at 14, and I'm still sure of it now, 10 years later. And just because she came back from being practically off the tour to number one proves nothing. It's all lucky draws. Also it's really sickening how she lumbers around the court with that fat roll. Oh my god -- she's so unbelievably rotund! In fact WTA doesn't mean Women's Tennis Association... it's WIDE Tennis association when she's around! sheesh.

I have more but I need a break.... GO JENN!!!
:wavey: to all Jenn fans :D

c2
May 26th, 2002, 08:11 PM
Oh and all that cursing has to stop. Do you know that at least a dozen young people have turned to drugs and prostitution because Jenn swore on court?? She is a terrible example for humanity. I believe the pope is going to say something about it in his next address. He knows what a horrible corrupting influence Jennifer is! ;)

Snuffkin
May 26th, 2002, 10:22 PM
Oh come on...let's not waste our time discussing Jen's lack of talent. You are all ignoring the bigger picture which is that Jennifer Capriati is the devil. There is no one more full of evil and hatred who has ever walked the earth. Stalin, Hitler, bin Laden? No, not one of them has as much pure and unadulterated evil in them. She is incapable of ever behaving nicely. And the people on this board know this because they have all met her and spent considerable time in her presence. She is the most dispicable thing to ever grace this earth. Oh, and she always get lucky draws, so in truth whilst every other player has 7 matches to play, Jennifer need only play 2 or 3. It's true, she doesn't even appear on court for the first week.

Cybelle Darkholme
May 26th, 2002, 10:33 PM
Well since this seems to be a diss Jen thread....

Whats up with number one her Attitude? I mean, c'mon like already, you know? Does she really have to like, you know, spit and foam at the mouth during like a match? Watching the girl on court is like just waiting for a freaking brain hemmorage. Also those nasty looks and grimaces she throws toward everyone from like the, you know, chair umpire to the linespeople to the ball girl she slapped upside the head with a tossed racket!

I'm just waiting for Jen to like you know climb into the stands and like throttle Mary Jo's baby for crying to loud. Also who does that Jen thinks she is buying a like muzzle for monica to wear during her matches! The gall, the sheer gall! And don't get me started on this girl's fashion sense! Jen, wake up and drop Fila like the fashionless company they are. Any firm that would suit you up in a Jelena Dokic knock off just has to go!

Jen the media also uncovered your secret weapon to win slams. We all know Martina's Mom Melanie has been secretly coaching you just to spite her daughter and motivate her in some perverse way.

Oh and while we're talking about your court play lets not forget those notorious sweet rolls of yours. No, not the ones you keep in your bag to nibble on between games for that much needed sugar rush, we're talking about those around you belly! Girlfriend, they must be your secret weapon because if you ever tumble on a get, you can just bounce back up and be ready for the next ball! Thats so not fair Jennypoo!

I must say this thread is a riot:kiss:

Vanity
May 26th, 2002, 10:48 PM
Hmm, this thread was pretty funny until RuPaul stepped in! :p

Luna_Angel_84
May 26th, 2002, 10:50 PM
Eurgh Jen is akin to one of those Weeble things- y'know, those cups that babies use so that they can't spill their juice.

Plus since becoming a fan I've been kicked ot of school for swearing and drug abuse, and have become a total beefcake due to steroid abuse. All because of Jen!

paigery
May 26th, 2002, 11:12 PM
Live from Naysayers Lounge the latest posting:

Jennifer Capriati brought her boyfriend to courtside during the Italian Open. He proposed to her and her brokeass said "maybe". And my aunt said he was ugly and high on drugs.
http://www.wowfunny.com/pictures/loveinthehair.jpg

You can tell he loves her, she is braindead. Yeah her decision skills are like her tennis- sorry.

Next up, comparing weaves and hairstyles for our faves! See ya` next time................

kazzmazz
May 26th, 2002, 11:14 PM
Plus since becoming a fan I've been kicked ot of school for swearing and drug abuse, and have become a total beefcake due to steroid abuse. All because of Jen!

That's a shame Luna :sad:

Plus, VBN has become a teenage mother. She said so in the Den.
When will the madness end?!?

babywhale
May 27th, 2002, 12:26 AM
well, it's like this, you know.....I mean, it's kinda tough to step back and see just how many breaks, you know, that I've gotten in my career but it's kinda weird too, you know, to think that maybe had I got fewer breaks that I wouldn't have won these slams.......well, yeah, I mean, it's like, the other girls all stayed on and graduated and stuff, but my dad, you know, and I guess my mum too, always taught me the basics, you know, instilled it in me if you know what I mean.........

some people maybe thinks it's just kinda lucky that I won these slams but, you know, I mean, I put the work in to, you know, just working harder I guess and that's maybe why, you know, I've had some of these successes.

Jenni is dumb and an embarassment to the WTA tour. Lose your titles Jenni (you only have two)

Richie77
May 27th, 2002, 05:08 AM
Plus since becoming a fan I've been kicked ot of school for swearing and drug abuse, and have become a total beefcake due to steroid abuse. All because of Jen!

HEY!!

I just want to lett you all know that Iq really liek JEnnn ifffER. :confused: :cool: :rolleyes:

In fact, evwr sinse I started liking her...I've started dirnking LOTS and lots and LOTS and lotts and LOtS of Nbeer. :mad: ;) ;) :mad: :eek: :confused:

And i LIK<E OIT very much.,

I relly hope that Kennifer wins the Froland Garrois, bcause then it willllllllllllllllllllllll give the me opportunnitye ti drink morr beer!!!! :wavey: :wavey: :fiery: :fiery: :eek:

GO JEN11111111 :smily: :Smile: :Smeliue: {smiielllllle:

Greenout
May 27th, 2002, 05:24 AM
that she's got no class. Did you know that during
that match against Monica at the US Open back in the
early 90's that someone threw a bat on center court?.
Jen picked up and bit the bat's head off, really. She
left immediately after the match was over and didn't
shake Monica's hand. Not that Monica should have wanted
to shake her hand after seeing her bite the bat. Look I
don't care if Jen's excuse was that she had to go quickly
to get rabies shots- come on. It's so ungracious not to
shake Monica's hand after a match.

What a sore loser!!


;)

c2
May 28th, 2002, 06:03 PM
Let's not forget her evil, evil, evil dad. He is a bad, bad man. He is scary. He did bad things. He controls Jennifer completely. She is unable to make any decisions on her own. She is a complete pawn ! Just seeing him sit in the stands is scary! He is bad.

Also, Jenn smoked pot once. This is enough to have her discounted forever. It is impossible to have smoked pot and be anyone worthy of respect. In fact, I'm pretty sure she's toking up right now, and does so before every match. It's amazing how she wins being high like that. You can see it in her bloodshot eyes though, and in her total lack of motivation. She is a totally unmotivated athlete, and you can tell by her performance. No good person has ever smoked pot! No true sports star has ever smoked pot!!

vw43
May 28th, 2002, 06:17 PM
When Jen hears a baby cry in the stands she doesn't just throw a mildly annoyed look to the stands..she physically goes into the stands, picks up the baby in question and promptly eats the child alive...then she turns to the chair ump and says "How the fuck do you like that?"

Also, Jen is not THE REAL number 1....when it says number 1 by her name in the paper it's just because those idiotic fricken tennis reporters can't get their facts straight...:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Keith
May 28th, 2002, 06:19 PM
Wow, I cant believe Jen curses! I would NEVER do that. I ALWAYS respect my peers. Every single one of them. And people older than me also get respect becaus they played tennis. I cant believe the way Jen acts like a bitch. I mean, what is she trying to do out there?! Tennis is a ladies sport! All about tradition and stuff.

And drugs?! My god, that is the worst thing a person could ever do! I just cannot believe that.

Amanda
May 28th, 2002, 06:21 PM
paigery----I thought i'd never see Bonzi again! That darn ape was so annoying!

paigery
May 28th, 2002, 06:23 PM
LOL@me:)

Bonfire
May 28th, 2002, 09:40 PM
....and how dare she beat the players she has beaten.
You do NOT beat a Williams four times in a row, it is not allowed.
You do NOT beat Davenport or Seles in a GS, that is rude and disrespectful!
YOu never should beat one of the sweet, young belgians or dokic or amelie! That is not fair that a spoiled rotten b*tch like Jen could be allowed to have wins against such sweet ladies.

and how dare she NOT beat V. Williams yet!!!
We all know that everyone should beat venus at least once if they have any talent at all!
Everyone can beat venus, its sooo easy, why hasn't she yet?

Jen....I don't know who you think you are... becoming a champion and overtaking one of the exclusive top spots when deep down we all know that they belong and always will belong too and only too venus, martina, davenport, and serena!!!

oh, and btw...

Jen....everytime I hear about how you use to smoke up....it makes me want to roll one and smoke
...everytime I watch you curse on court...it makes me want to be rude and disrepectful to everyone and everything I see!!!

Jen....quit tennis please....so I can become a good person again and will never have to watch you beat another good player again!!!

:wavey:


but first....
defend your title Jen!!!;) :bounce: :bounce:

Bonfire
May 28th, 2002, 09:54 PM
and one more thing....
what gave you the nerve to be kicked off the fed cup team!
what kind of person actually questions authority
what kind of person actually stands up and speaks out for what they want or feel is right.
You should have never raised your voice to someone who has been around longer than you (you have to wait for at least another 20-30 years before you earn the right to be outspoken)
Look, we all know that you were just given those three grandslams and olympic gold medal out of pure luck....so stop being so confident damn it!!!

Jen...I'm sure their is so much more bashing I can send your way...but I'm starting to get a headache just thinking about it so I'm done!
:mad:



;) Love ya Jen!!:kiss:

paigery
May 28th, 2002, 10:02 PM
Hey capriati420!!! :)

paigery
May 28th, 2002, 10:10 PM
Look man you are so stupid and s***. Ask me that question again and my foot goes up your ass! Do you know who I am or are you foreign press or something. I don't even know what you f***** mean by it! Stupid, next question, and I so swear it better be one I like or I am totally not answering it. Someone get me a cappachino, like now. Daddy!!!!!
http://www.tennisrulz.com/photos/mtl/Capriati/capriati04.jpg

Richie77
May 28th, 2002, 10:46 PM
Can you believe that Jennifer's match was called today? They didn't make her go out and continue to play in the RAIN and the DARK?
Y'all know what happened: Stefano went to the tournament director's office with a crowbar and threatened to break the poor man's knees if he didn't stop precious widdle Jennifer's match right away.
And was Jennifer grateful? Nooo. She actually shoved a 95-year-old usher over in frustration, and then started whining because all of the light drizzle, was, like, ruining her hair, you know?

Honestly, Jen thinks she's SOOOO special, and SOOOO neat because she'll get to continue her match tomorrow!

And if she does.....

I hope she wins! Go Jen!!! :) :wavey:

Greenout
May 29th, 2002, 12:33 AM
Did you know Jen's lazy drugged up brother Stephen is
a suspect in the Chandra Levy case? Yeah. I hear Stefano was
tight with Gary Condit; gave alot of donations and sh*t. I knew
if the Capriati's are EVIL. Everything wrong in this world we
live in can be connected to the Capriati's. I hope the police
arrest the whole family before it's too late for mankind.

Shane54
May 29th, 2002, 12:49 AM
Yes I can't believe that Jennifer's match today was called. Well, at least it will give her more time to think of a way to cheat tomorrow because we all know that she can't win on her own merits. And that cursing. I am so glad that every single poster on this board has never uttered a curse word when we doubled faulted or hit an error. Jennifer needs to look at every poster on this board and follow their behavior.

Justine was paid by Stefano to lose today. Because we all know that Jennifer can only win when people don't play.

Thank you Jenn fans for your responses and posts. For me this has been a good venting tool and a way to show how silly others are when they refuse to be fair/objective!!! Thanks Jenn fans.. JENNIFER ROCKS!

Crazy Canuck
May 29th, 2002, 06:13 AM
Has anyone else noticed the major physical changes that Jenn's body has been going through?

I think Heavyhitter described them best in Gogo's thread about drug use i tennis.

HEAVYHITTER
May 29th, 2002, 06:16 AM
I have been saving this thread for the semis; but you just spoiled it.

When she loses, and she will, I will keep it fresh.

Crazy Canuck
May 29th, 2002, 06:24 AM
Oh look, there is Heavyshitter, just in time to fill us in.

Shane54
May 30th, 2002, 12:22 AM
Yes, Heavyhitter you are just the best. Like Mary and Martha sat at the feet of Jesus, I suggest all Jenn fans sit at your feet and listen to your wisdom also.

Crazy Canuck
May 30th, 2002, 12:28 AM
Shane54, you speak the truth! ;)

c2
May 30th, 2002, 02:06 AM
Heavyshitter!! LOL ! :wavey: good one, Becca

Crazy Canuck
May 30th, 2002, 02:11 AM
c2aka - I'm afraid that I can't take credit for it.

Lets just say that someone very clever thought it up, and I'm borrowing it ;)

c2
May 30th, 2002, 02:15 AM
It got a laugh from me, that's for sure! :D Of course, I'm sure Heavy hitter has perfect "bottocks" as well :rolleyes:

Crazy Canuck
May 30th, 2002, 02:16 AM
I"m sure he does - he seems to know an awuful lot about steroids after all :rolleyes:

Shane54
May 30th, 2002, 02:19 AM
Hey Becca:wavey:

HEAVYHITTER
May 30th, 2002, 02:21 AM
Wow!

Topic change, now its all about me.

Worthy topic, carry on.

TM
May 30th, 2002, 04:17 AM
Originally posted by Vanity
Hmm, this thread was pretty funny until RuPaul stepped in! :p

RuPaul..hahaa!!!

CANADA KICKS ;)

Richie77
May 30th, 2002, 10:57 PM
Congratulations Jennifer on winning today.

I know it's not sarcastic, but I just wanted an excuse to write my 100th post. ;)

We can keep the sarcastic thing going, if anyone wants to play!

c2
May 30th, 2002, 11:54 PM
Just another lucky break from that no talent fatso, Jenn Capp! ;) How she keeps pulling off these wins, I'll never know! Why an elephant would get around the court better than that fatty. :rolleyes:

I'm being sarcastic because on another thread someone AGAIN posted that Jenn was fat! Criminy!

Shane54
May 31st, 2002, 12:59 AM
Yes, I am getting sick of Miss Lucky winning. Damn, no talent NOTHING! and she still wins. Her dad is definitely paying the other players off!

Monique
May 31st, 2002, 01:37 AM
When Jen hears a baby cry in the stands she doesn't just throw a mildly annoyed look to the stands..she physically goes into the stands, picks up the baby in question and promptly eats the child alive...then she turns to the chair ump and says "How the fuck do you like that?"

OMG, that was so funny I couldn't stop laughing...

Richie77
May 31st, 2002, 05:06 AM
Jen lost her serve SIX TIMES IN A ROW?!

:eek:

And she still thinks she can win the championship?

:rolleyes:

Yeah, right hon! You need to just pack it in now and go home.

She plays Evie Dominikovic next, and she's ranked No. 109. You know that she's gonna waste Jen like 6-0, 6-1, because Jen's playing like No. 901 in the world right now!

Shane54
May 31st, 2002, 05:53 AM
SonicCad you are right on! That low life trash Jennifer should just go home. She has no chance to win, Evie is way too talented. Jennifer needs to have the match of her life to advance to round 4.

Jenn fans ya'll need to learn some class! I wish ya'll were classy like a "certain group of posters". Even though Jenn is not their fav, they are just so fair to Jenn and are just addicted to giving Jenn credit, and admitting that Jenn is capable of beating their fav(s).

Greenout
May 31st, 2002, 07:23 AM
That photo of Jenn from the Daily Mirros is just so
disgusting. Obviously; she's desperate. Tong?
More like "Thing". Who is she trying to kid?
It's always in poor taste unlike Rena and her way
cool yellow socks.


By the way did you know Serena is the obvious winner.
Nobody comes close to her greatness. Tell everyone
your wasting her time to even show up in matches
against Serena.





;)

the_ancyent_marinere
May 31st, 2002, 07:33 AM
Jenn won the FO-2K1 only because she kidnapped the umpire´s baby girl between the first and second set, and threatened to make her so high on one of her old ganjas that she let a former boyfriend pick up from the exhibit A at the town hall of justice!

But that wasn´t enough -- it only made the umpire overrule the bad line calls Jenn got from the linesmen that she´d stared and birdied to death. So she had to do something about Clijsters game, and she signaled her father Stefano to abduct Elke and threaten Kim at 30-all, that should she win he would do things to her little sister Elke; the way he always did it to Jenn, Stevie and MOM! And that about sums it up -- Jennifer´s third and last GS.

She´s out of tricks now, and therefore she cannot win anything any longer; she has absolutely no talent, because she cannot beat Venus. Even ASV and Testud has managed that, and they were just lucky!

Since then, Jennifer has wasted all her millions on a gone-bad lawsuit against BJK, Seles and Raymond; she is out on the streets again smoking weed and hooking. But she´s so filled to the brim with dope and steroids that she cannot even get a pimp, and no dick ever wants to get into her or even make her do a BJ -- the way Xavier and Matt used in the old days!

Now Stefano and Jennifer have been requested to play the parts of Evil Stefano DiMera and Evil Kristen Blake in the world-wide broadcasted blockbuster series of "The Days of Our Lives". What a succuss it will be! And with BJK as the new Kate Roberts there´s no end to this documentary sope opera´s possibilites. Jenn and Papa will once again start counting the undeserved millions of Dead Presidents (Umm, Dead Williamses?!)

the_ancyent_marinere
May 31st, 2002, 08:18 AM
By the way; Jenn will not win this FO, because she doesn´t know anything about "Venus de Milo", since she´s more into the "Venus of Willendorf thing" -- with the thong and all!

http://witcombe.sbc.edu/willendorf/images/willendorfa.jpg

You see now, why she cannot ever win a tournament! She´s just another fat and ugly, fat-assed bitch!!!!!!

the_ancyent_marinere
May 31st, 2002, 08:45 AM
The only ones who can keep this dying thread alive are a couple of worn out down-right stupid sons-of-bitches of Capriati fans! The only thing they´re good for is picking on other fans and their faves, just as Jennifer herself is picking on Venus, Serena, Monica and "lil-Kim"! Further, they do not have the decency not to abuse children; the way Jenn twisted the neck of that high-pitched screamer in the audience! They all condone to such attrocities on and off court, shame!!!

OK, not an explicit, but implicit criticizing of Jennifer Capriati -- from the way we all know her fans, we know her!

c2
May 31st, 2002, 01:26 PM
hey, you're my kinda poster! You get fired up! ;) I loved the Venus of Willendorf thing... finally a poster with a little "kul-cha!" :wavey:
"out on the streets smoking weed and hooking!" LOL!

timmbo
May 31st, 2002, 01:31 PM
Well I dont know about you guys, but I heard that she had a sex change when she was little. I mean, that explains why she is built like a man, right?

Shane54
May 31st, 2002, 03:43 PM
She must have had a sex change operation to become a woman. I have been to gay bars all over and I have never even see a "diesel d***" as butch as her. Jennifer you put kd lang to shame.

the_ancyent_marinere
May 31st, 2002, 06:57 PM
Thanx c2AKAcmglenn! Love you´re avatar :wavey:

c2
May 31st, 2002, 09:25 PM
thanks! :)

Richie77
May 31st, 2002, 10:21 PM
Shane and Timmbo, you two are right.

The signs were there all along:
- The ponytail
- The need to bare "her" mid-riff
- The skirts
- The THONG?!

Total overcompensation. She is SO desparate to make herself look like a woman that she does all these "feminine" things. :rolleyes:

She needs to hold a big press conference and say the following:

"I used to, like, be a guy, you know.
I mean, when I was born, I was, you know, a boy. But, I mean, my dad really wanted to have, you know, a female tennis, you know, champion. So, he, like, ummmm...had a big operation performed on me to make, you know, a girl. And, so, I mean, that's what I am now."

the_ancyent_marinere
Jun 1st, 2002, 10:55 AM
Dominicovic should´ve won today; Capriati hit almost 50 errors, and hadn´t it been for those two bad line calls Evie would´ve won the whole thing!

While I´m at it, I would like to recommend an amazing BDSM site on"freebound.com" with hundreds of tokens on luscious witch-bitch Jennifer Capriati, as both dominated and dominatrix! :drool: There is a free preview section with a few good but tame pictures with Jenn toghether with Matt, Xavier ... and ... WOW:eek:

Greenout
Jun 1st, 2002, 11:09 AM
ROTF!!! the_ancyent-marinere, you are so mighty.
You are so great. If only I can be as much of a low life
pond scum of a Capriati fan as you.

Let me kiss your feet!!

Oh. The only reason Jenn won today is because Evie is as everyone
knows is a slow starter.

the_ancyent_marinere
Jun 1st, 2002, 12:24 PM
Don´t be modest GREENOUT! :p ;) :o :wavey:

the_ancyent_marinere
Jun 1st, 2002, 08:22 PM
Had she ever finished school and gotten an education (preferably in fashion design, or such), she still would´ve finished it with abyssmal grades! For instance, Jenn evidently got an F at Maths the way she made herself look a moronic idiot the way she criticized the ranking system. And we all know the way she handles media clearly indicates a very low self-efficiacy and educational skills.

Miss(-demeanour) Capriati should do everybody and herself a huge favour by shutting her big trap and try to let off some steam by blowing her box all the way to Uranus, where the Williamses and their likes are already. It´s the only way; she won´t succeed in doing it by applying for fashion school!

Cybelle Darkholme
Jun 1st, 2002, 08:30 PM
This thread is truly great! Shane, the deprecating humor works well and most of the stuff is funny. Maybe some of you jen fans dont take this stuff as serious as i thought you did.

the_ancyent_marinere
Jun 1st, 2002, 08:34 PM
Well, Cy, it´s a great way to deal with trauma!:eek: :wavey:

Greenout
Jun 2nd, 2002, 12:32 AM
The Wall- Pink Floyd.



I feel better smoking that great spliff of weed. Nothing
like Pink Floyd and Rush CD's to get you going with Jen.

The problem started back in pre-school. Yep, Jenn was
a sore sight of a loser even back then. She stole some
kid's pencil and poked a girl's eye. Jen got expelled from
pre-school. Ugly ankle biter!!

Your right. Barely made it in elementary school. It was
sheer luck in dodge ball matches. Constant harangues
about the f**ing bathroom abuse. Oh. Come one where
do you think she was smoking her bong?

You might even say that "tennis" saved her sorrow ass life
from what maybe the crackhouse. Maybe we should be
lucky and be amused at Jenn's pathetic atempt to be a
journeyman tennis player. Which I may add; she's no
Clarissa Fernandez!

;)

Snuffkin
Jun 2nd, 2002, 12:50 AM
Jennifer is trouble with a capital T, only cos she's thick she doesn't know how to spell it!

As for all that playing on the tour when she was 13, well it was convenient cos she'd just been expelled from school, so it was a good excuse.

And as for any grades she did get, well we all know she only got them cos she threatened to hit her teachers. Truth is she would have made the women's boxing team at the local gym but she couldn't be bothered to turn up and when she did she kept failing the drug tests. Such a talentless loser! But then what can you expect from someone who whored themselves on street corners to pay for their crack habit? The only maths (math to my US friends) she ever could do is work out the going rate for hand-jobs, oral and whatever else she felt like doing.

Greenout
Jun 2nd, 2002, 01:13 AM
LUCK ON HER SIDE; AGAIN.

I'm sick and tired of all the luck that falls Jenn's way~.
We all know that if there weren't all those blind
perverts walking around in Florida back in the 1980's
Jenn would never had gotten to make her dollars
doing mediocre handjobs.

What about the draw? How come she's not playing
a classy player like Clarissa Ferenandez? No she's got
the easy route again. For Christ'sake. Jenn is playing
a person who got 2 weeks off from the pscyhe ward.
You know, patient 67856XPS in the files; better known
as Patty Schynder. How lucky can you get in a
tournament playing someone insane. Why can't Jenn
play someone that's not crazy?

Greenout
Jun 2nd, 2002, 02:20 PM
Where's all the Jenn supporters? Still hiding
beneath the rocks as this time of the day?

the_ancyent_marinere
Jun 2nd, 2002, 03:45 PM
I´m here! :crawling up from behind a rock: :p :wavey:

Greenout
Jun 2nd, 2002, 04:07 PM
What a whiner! Jenn complains in her latest
post RG match interview about being screwed
by the Sanex WTA rankings committee.

Look bitch! Live with it. Your not number 1;
even if you did win Roland Garros you still won't
be number 1. Not that you even have a chance
with the likes of Paola and Clarrisa around.


Get use to it!!

Shane54
Jun 2nd, 2002, 05:38 PM
Yes.. I am glad to see some more negative comments against that bitch Jenn. Dammit, if my fav can't win a GS then I dont want Jenn winning one. If she does, I will do anything to discredit her. I will even take away the attention from tennis and accuse her of being a man, on steroids, being the worst person since Hitler, etc. I know I would hate Jenn as a person anyways. My first cousin's sister in law's half brother who lives in California knows this lady who works at the fanciest restaurant in town. And she told my him that her grandmothers pen pal from Florida lives next door to a man who met Jennifer 5 years ago in the mall and said she was very stuck up and mean. So you see the stories of her being a bitch are true!

Nimi
Jun 2nd, 2002, 06:42 PM
i mean, how can she be #1?!?
with my all-time idol, Dewonder Davis, Nancy Loffer Caro & Karen Fodera around... sheesh, & she dares criticize the ranking system?!?

CappyMania
Jun 2nd, 2002, 07:21 PM
Hey losers! Jennifer will win!

Nimi
Jun 2nd, 2002, 07:31 PM
Jennifer won

i bet Stefano eranged this :fiery:

Shane54
Jun 2nd, 2002, 09:59 PM
Insanity, you are right! He definetely paid off the Schnyder camp!
I really have a hard time with Jenn winning, I am already making up an excuse list just in case she beats Dokic. I refuse to give credit to Jenn.

HEAVYHITTER
Jun 2nd, 2002, 10:04 PM
There is PLENTY of ammo in here. Carry on!

kazzmazz
Jun 2nd, 2002, 10:09 PM
Don't worry Shane. Jelena will TROUNCE miss potty-mouth. Yeah, yeah, I know the bitch has a 3-0 record against Dokic, but you just KNOW Stefano bribed Damir with free salmon and his famous home-made penne arabiata. If cuss-Queen wins again, look for cheap-skate Mr. Dokic in the stands stuffing his face with fettuccini alfredo.

Shane54
Jun 3rd, 2002, 02:05 AM
Did anyone ever get the confirmation on "the sex change" report?

Greenout
Jun 3rd, 2002, 02:32 AM
07:00- Still asleep and hungover from drinking
a bottle of Jack Daniels with biker friends at
pool hall.

07:15- Trainer arrives and wakes up the rest of
the Capriati clan.

07:30- Stephen wakes Jennifer up;but she gives
him the "finger" and tell's him to "Fu*k Off!".

08:30- Jen finally wakes up. Looks into WTA calender
of stars and makes a weird face. Get's knife and stabs
each photo. Makes an effort to stab Lindsay's photo
twice.

09:00- Tries to make energy shake in blender and
totally screws up. Stephen tries to help.

0:930- Jen and Stephen still trying to make blender
work. Trainer finally steps in and put's plug into socket.

10:30- Goes to practice with Stefano, Stephen, trainer and
bookie who Jen owes money to.

10:15- See Serena Williams. Makes an effort to stare down
bitch; but she's too busy looking at pooch. Stefano sneaks
to dog's water bowl and spits into it when the Williams entourage
isn't looking.

10:30- 12:30- Practice session. Imagines "Buffy" likes kick into
Serena and Venus's head during practice. Feels great. Big smile.

12:30- 14:00- Big lunch at French branch of BURGER KIND.
Screams at employee's when they don't serve "Fu*king
Ranch Dressing" to go with french fries.

14:30- 15:00- Autograph session with kids. Stephen does
a good job of pick pocketing cash and jewelery from smiling
idiot parent's waiting in line.

15:30 - 16:00- Smoke weed.

16:15- 17:00- Look up hooker friends plying trade in Paris.
Fun conversations about fat loser customers. Ah. the Good
ole days.

17:00- 17:15- Go onto internet and start rumours about
Lindsay not coming back on tour. Logs onto official Dokic
site and calls Damir a "fat child molester".

18:00- 19:30- Big dinner. Can't stop eating.

19:30- 20:00- Practice

20:00- 21:00- Listens to CD's, watch video's and
surprise more weed.

21:00- 22:00- Call's Serena's mobile number and tells her
"Tell Venus to shove it! I'm the fu*king number 1. the
rankings are bizarre! Die bitches!!"

22:00-23:00- Watches dodgy German Porno with Stephen.

23:00- 23:30- Has night cap with a bottle of cheap beer in
a paper sack.

24:00- End of Day.

kazzmazz
Jun 3rd, 2002, 02:48 AM
LMFAO@ Greenout!!!

You just forgot one entry:

24:00 - Has drunken wild animal sex with worn-out boy-toy

Richie77
Jun 3rd, 2002, 05:39 AM
Originally posted by kazzmazz
Don't worry Shane. Jelena will TROUNCE miss potty-mouth. Yeah, yeah, I know the bitch has a 3-0 record against Dokic, but you just KNOW Stefano bribed Damir with free salmon and his famous home-made penne arabiata. If cuss-Queen wins again, look for cheap-skate Mr. Dokic in the stands stuffing his face with fettuccini alfredo.


Oh, Kazzmazz! You will NOT believe what I heard!!

I found out that the whole reason that Dokic is playing in 31 tournaments is because Stefano threatened Damir! :eek:

That's right...Jelena only played all those tournaments because if she didn't play too much before Roland Garros and tire herself out, Stefano was gonna get Tonya Harding and all her other little trailer-trash friends to do something awful to Jelena and Damir!

No, not injure her. They were gonna have Tonya get a job in the U.S. Open cafeteria and...UNDERCOOK THE SALMON!

Can you BELIEVE THAT?

And of course, Miss Bitch goes along with it. In fact, someone asked her what she thought about it, and she was like "Big, f***in' whoop, you know? Just leave me the f*** alone!"

I really hope Jelena whoops Jen good on Tuesday, so Stefano's little plan can backfire.

c2
Jun 3rd, 2002, 04:44 PM
Finally a day in the life of Cappy! I think you forgot

2:00-3:30 PM: Jenn hits Van Cleef & Arpels. Shoplifts 2 tennis bracelets, several watches and a necklace while staff is busy watching Winona Ryder.

c2
Jun 3rd, 2002, 04:47 PM
is to lure Damir not with salmon but LIKKER! I'm pretty sure a couple bottles of "wodka" would get the entire Dokic camp out of the way! What a scheme!

Greenout
Jun 4th, 2002, 12:26 AM
I KNOW THUGS!

I hear that the Serbian geezer has a weakness for good
Cuban cigars. I bet the Capriati mafia will send tons of
stuff to their new address in Belgrade. Just watch. You'll
hear about it soon enough.

Did you notice the other ploy? Last match of the day.
Ha!! They(the Capiati's) think Jelena's will be weakened
at dusk.

We can only hope for the best. From what I hear from
television commentators Capriati is one dimensional.
"No good first serve", "Another double fault", "She just
does the samething in every match".

the_ancyent_marinere
Jun 4th, 2002, 05:40 AM
Jennifer Capriati´s blood-shot eyes during the final against Serena Williams in Rome, that was immediately contributed another weed BJ, has been confirmed pollen allergy.

But no-one noticed that the Williamses´pet Jack Russel Pooch during a service break in the middle of the ultimate set escaped from the grasp of big sister Venus and attacked Jennifer in the belief she was a juicy Belgian Blue! Subsequently, the blood-shot eyes is unofficially the work of an allergic reaction towards terriers in the care of the Williamses.

Better not pull that one in the semis (should Jennifer most unexpectedly make it another match), or the Camorra will definately skin it alive!

the_ancyent_marinere
Jun 4th, 2002, 06:19 PM
No, it is not true; it´s a conspiracy — Jennifer did not win today! In an act of sheer humanity Serena made Jennifer change skins with Dokic so that she wouldn´t actually make it to the semis and therefore avoiding an all the way embarrasing double-bagel loss against Serena! For the record: Dokic bubble-gum chewing physical trainer also taded skins with the old Godfather.

Further, early this morning GMT, unspecified rumours claim that Jennifer Capriati hacked the WTAWORLD messageboard, allegedly in the guise of GREENOUT, and insulted all the Williams fans with apparently unfounded allegations that they have no sens of humor and that they [moderator edit], and [moderator edit], and [moderator edit]. The fans in question retorted [moderator edit], and said that GREENOUT [moderator edit] so Jennifer Capriati could [moderator edit] and that he could [moderator edit]. The debacle resulted in a closed thread and a warning that the fake self-depricatory thread of "Jenn has luck and no talet" would be closed also, should the hacking and insulting continue.

The members on the "Jenn has luck and no talent" thread subsequently told the administrators to [moderator edit] and [moderator edit] so they [moderator edit] and then the world would be [moderator edit] a better place!

vw43
Jun 4th, 2002, 06:57 PM
Jennifer is really a super tennis droid, designed by the mafia that got infected with tourette's syndrome hence the cursing...:rolleyes: duh.

Richie77
Jun 4th, 2002, 10:32 PM
Originally posted by the_ancyent_marinere
No, it is not true; it´s a conspiracy — Jennifer did not win today! In an act of sheer humanity Serena made Jennifer change skins with Dokic so that she wouldn´t actually make it to the semis and therefore avoiding an all the way embarrasing double-bagel loss against Serena! For the record: Dokic bubble-gum chewing physical trainer also taded skins with the old Godfather.

Further, early this morning GMT, unspecified rumours claim that Jennifer Capriati hacked the WTAWORLD messageboard, allegedly in the guise of GREENOUT, and insulted all the Williams fans with apparently unfounded allegations that they have no sens of humor and that they [moderator edit], and [moderator edit], and [moderator edit]. The fans in question retorted [moderator edit], and said that GREENOUT [moderator edit] so Jennifer Capriati could [moderator edit] and that he could [moderator edit]. The debacle resulted in a closed thread and a warning that the fake self-depricatory thread of "Jenn has luck and no talet" would be closed also, should the hacking and insulting continue.

The members on the "Jenn has luck and no talent" thread subsequently told the administrators to [moderator edit] and [moderator edit] so they [moderator edit] and then the world would be [moderator edit] a better place!

LOL :D That's classic!

I kinda do want to know how we're getting away with this thread...perhaps the moderators have really good senses of humor!
If that's the case, I love them all...and could I interest them in becoming moderators at another tennis board...one that DESPARATELY needs a sense of humor before I ever post there again? ;)

Greenout
Jun 5th, 2002, 01:32 AM
Jenn beat's Dokic, Damir get's salmon


How did you like that? I guess the Salmon shipments by
Fed EX arrived in Belgrade after all. Did anyone else notice
the load of double faults as soon as Dokic started to lead
only to give it away to you know "who"? HA!!!


About Censorship.

Who me? I don't know what happened yesterday;but
you would think we were in Singapore or something.
Oops....I just remembered (DUH!!) I live in SINGAPORE!!
Anyway, from now on I'll do happy, feel good, rose tinted
lenses type posts with titles like...

WHY I LOVE LIFE.

LOVING YOUR FELLOW MAN.

LIVING AMONG BEAUTY

THE POWER OF LOVE;)

Greenout
Jun 5th, 2002, 01:46 AM
Like is there a good time? ;)

Crazy Canuck
Jun 5th, 2002, 01:48 AM
Oh lord - has she not retired yet? :rolleyes:

Crazy Canuck
Jun 5th, 2002, 01:49 AM
Greenout - Capriati has fans? :confused:

Greenout
Jun 5th, 2002, 01:55 AM
One could say that a thread pro a certain player is
really against another. Right? Aren't these
threads really negative?

THE ODDS ARE NOW IN, JENN NOT FAVORED TO WIN
IN FO.

WHY JENN WILL LOSE RG.

IS THE WORLD READY FOR A NO- JENN FINAL?

JENN DOES BAD ON HER BEST SURFACE

A MAJOR MILESTONE.... GONE.

JENN NOT ON HER WAY TO RG FINAL.




;)

Where's those censors when you need them?

SM
Jun 5th, 2002, 02:44 AM
i think jen had a bit of luck to get through jelena...lots of doubles and jelena really ought to have won set1 had she returnd like she normally does!

the_ancyent_marinere
Jun 5th, 2002, 06:40 AM
Gosh! When Jenn (I mean Dokic:confused: ) started passed Dokic (I mean Jenn:confused: ) with those winners dtl and cc and served those aces, Dokic (I mean Jenn:confused: ) had already broken down from understimulation due to Jenn´s (I mean Dokic´s:confused: ) underachieving style of play – and that´s why the match turned out the way it did, and why "Monsieur Bulles Nouvelles" (I mean Stefano:confused: ) got his bubbles busted!

Greenout
Jun 5th, 2002, 03:12 PM
Let me get this straight. Jelena wasn't really Jelena in
yesterday's QF match because Jenn wasn't "really"
Jenn. This was actually a switch-er-roo ala the face changing
alien bounty hunter on the X-FILES.

So, now what? They changed skins and tricked everybody
including the dimwits at WTAworld.com. Are they going to
change skins again? Where is the real Jenn? Is she hiding
in Matthew Perry's fat skin right now?

One more question. Does the "skin" changing affect
the personality of the player. For example...Jelena
suddenly cussing alot??

the_ancyent_marinere
Jun 6th, 2002, 04:51 PM
The KKK suffered a devastating blow when Serena Williams defeated title-defender Jennifer Capriati in a nerve-wrecking three-setter at Roland Garros semi-finals! Or was it Dokic...:confused:

the_ancyent_marinere
Jun 25th, 2002, 06:44 PM
OK, guys and ghouls, it´s Wimby and I´m back to stir up some trouble:eek: And you all know me, the one whose got the most haters against me and got most closed threads in this entire webboard :rolleyes:, coz I´m a real bad ass mutta. But enough with the obvious -- it´s time for ATTACK!

I´m really relieved that Jenn won, yesterday. It wasn´t expected, since she, to all of our knowledge, is totally not enjoying herself on court and feels right down ill when she thinks about all the fake success that´s been so rudely and crudely placed upon her by the press. Ever since that laughable return in Australia early this year, she has realized that her true potential has been ever so strongly exaggerated, thus being so embarrassed to show her face on the courts of the WTA-tour. However, this loss of face has been a minor threat compared to the stings and arrows of outrageous Wiseguys, shoud she not manage to mount the furious black mare!

vw43
Jun 25th, 2002, 06:58 PM
The ONLY reason Jennifer Capriati won her first round match is because of a wide spread conspiracy. It's obvious the foul mouthed jail bird has no talent...It's merely that she's a "media darling" whose future holds the entire country captivated because of her tremendous story and comeback. The WHOLE world wants Jen to beat the evil Williams Sisters because Jennifer is such a role model. Surely everyone wants their child to curse on national television, snub the press and have a police record. It only makes sense that Jen would be treated better than everyone else on tour. She gets away with everything and has matches handed to her by an underground conspiracy network. ;) :kiss:

Greenout
Jun 26th, 2002, 01:09 AM
Jen won her first round at WIMBLEDON, big deal.
We know that like the Korean national team in
the WORLD CUP that Hyundai paid off the chair
umpire, the ballkids, the lines people and even her
opponent. What you didn't know about Hyundai and
Jen? Well...remember that other "sports car" she
received when she became number 1 for 9 hours?

Hyundai want's Jen to endorse their new sports utility
vehicle;but in typical dirtbag behavior Jen scre*'s
Hyundai over by not putting their logo on her WIMBLEDON
whites.

"FREE WINONA RYDER? WHAT ABOUT JENNIFER CAPRIATI?

the_ancyent_marinere
Jun 26th, 2002, 07:42 AM
:D Greenout and vw43 – in sidekicks we trust!:wavey:

By the way, I had this dream last night where my sixteen-week-old baby reporting directly from the womb to world-wide broadcasting the she for the world wouldn´t want to be called Jennifer, as I would have wanted. The baby considered it too revolting having the same name as a cleptomaniac, drug attict, and above all a borderline personality with Torret's syndrome! She reported that she´d rather be called Monica, since she´s the real deal when great comebacks are concerned. She concluded: "Being a star falling into grace, getting stabbed (which everybody knows is immensly harder to recover from than drug abuse) and then being reborn from grace to amaze, and not having to win anything because of an immaculate personality, is certainly what is stuff of a true comeback story!"

Greenout
Jun 26th, 2002, 10:54 AM
Tell Capriati that her "fairy tale story" has past it's expiration
and has grown mold on it. Who cares about her anymore?
Winning a match well...Hyundai winning a match for her at
WIMLBEDON isn't enough to get print in the media. Look
Anna "Don't hate me because I have shiny hair" Kounikova
makes headlines when she loses and acts like a bitch.

What Capriati needs to do is help Mathew Perry go off the
wagon in a 2 week drinking and drugging binge that would
make TOMMY LEE look like a box of corn flakes cereal.
"Cruise and Cruise are On again", "Kylie sexes up
house cleaning into a new fad" would not compete with

"TENNIS STAR AND FRIENDS GO AWOL IN HIGH POWERED
CAR CHASE IN MIAMI RESULTING IN 2 DEATH's OF
INNOCENT ROLLER BLADERS".


FU*K WINONA, FREE JENNIFER.

c2
Jun 26th, 2002, 04:52 PM
hahahah, you guys ROCK!

CappyMania
Jun 26th, 2002, 07:09 PM
Originally posted by the_ancyent_marinere
:D Greenout and vw43 – in sidekicks we trust!:wavey:

By the way, I had this dream last night where my sixteen-week-old baby reporting directly from the womb to world-wide broadcasting the she for the world wouldn´t want to be called Jennifer, as I would have wanted. The baby considered it too revolting having the same name as a cleptomaniac, drug attict, and above all a borderline personality with Torret's syndrome! She reported that she´d rather be called Monica, since she´s the real deal when great comebacks are concerned. She concluded: "Being a star falling into grace, getting stabbed (which everybody knows is immensly harder to recover from than drug abuse) and then being reborn from grace to amaze, and not having to win anything because of an immaculate personality, is certainly what is stuff of a true comeback story!"

Svenssonit on perseestä! Sundin sucks and Forsberg on ruotsalainen homopoika!

Richie77
Jun 26th, 2002, 10:48 PM
You guys:

I just heard a rumor on the radio that Jennifer Capriati forced Jennifer Anniston to change her name to Hortense.

Apparently Capriati burst into Anniston's house while she and Brad Pitt were playing "Parchessi," and said:

"Get this bitch! I'M the only Jennifer in Matthew Perry's life, and I'm gonna make sure that everybody else knows it, too! You got two hours to change your name to something really f***ing unsexy, or I'm whooping not just your butt, but also Golden Boy's f***ing butt! Ya hear me, ho?"

However, Jen's attempt to do this was thwarted...why?
Check back later! ;)

Greenout
Jun 26th, 2002, 11:30 PM
I caught about 2 minutes of Jennifer's match yesterday.
Star Asia has better things to do then show her
stupid match. Look, there's the "SPORTS UNITED CHARITY
AUCTION" in July where you can bid to a dirty used jersey
worn by Michael Owen, that's what we need more ads.

Back to the cr*p, or Cap should we say. I watched the
her match,and let me just say that she looked real
out of shape. Cappy was huffing and puffing like she
John Belushi or someone. Where's GREENPEACE when
you need them? Didn't they know there's a beached whale
in SW10, London? Thank god, Ai Sugiyama fans
weren't around, they would've harpooned Jen for dinner.
I don't think those pale looking English housewives
waiting for Greg Rudseski would've been to thrilled with
Whale blood on their pretty floral print blouses outfit with
new straw bowler hat like they seen Fergie wear.

Read the latest Olivier Rohcus interview and he said Jen
looks like the "rear end of a horse". How observant!!
Thank god there's tennis players like Olivier Rochus out
there to tell like it is about the women's game.


Cheers

c2
Jun 27th, 2002, 12:04 AM
LOL Ai sugiyama fans... rollin' :D

Greenout
Jun 27th, 2002, 02:00 AM
Where does Steven Capriati get off in speaking
about the great Serena and Venus? Isn't this the
guy who played doubles with his dimwitted sister
and lost to the lucky, lucky, loser duo from
Canada? What a joke!

Someone tell Steven that it's tennis we're talking
about and not 7-11. He's just jeolous cause he's
not Venus and Serena's brother.

Yeah. Go ahead and keep on smoking crack with
Mathew Perry you big loser.

Duuhhhh!!

c2
Jun 28th, 2002, 05:55 PM
I'm pretty sure I saw some track marks on Jenn's arm. .. it's either steroids or drugs! We all know how heavy and repeated her drug abuse was.. It's also why she's gaining so much weight! :rolleyes:

Greenout
Jul 6th, 2002, 10:15 AM
Overhead in the players restaurant at Wimbledon today..


Man. I have ta stop smoking steriods or I'll look like
Mauresmo. Yeah. shit..Yeah! I tell ya. What the
$*&%($ are you staring at freak? Hey..man. Why
can't I use the fu...ing computer? I want e-mail.
So who fu...ing cares that I don't have an e-mail
account? What the $(%&$ ? Anyway. I tell ya..
the flashbacks have been coming back, so are the
bad daydreams. Why, just yesterday I could've swore.
ahhahhehhehe. I did, didn't I? Yeah. I could've
swore that it was so real- man the dream was so
real. I could've swore that Mr. Small Penis- Xavier
was in the fu...ing WIMBLEDON final!! No really. Can
believe that? How insane? What sort of stuff was
in that acid tablet you gave me? HEHEHHAHHA.
Duuuh. Xavier winning a FU..ing WIMBLEDON match
is a joke!! Him Mr. Small Penis? What a joke! Thank
god..it was only a stinking daydream. More like a
nightmare I tell ya. And you know what else..like.
you know. I could have swore that I gave the prissy-est
weakest most pathetic press interview after losing to
the French Freak-azoid- Mauresmo. What a hilarious
dream!! Man..thank god I woke up- thank god it was
only a dream. I even amaze myself sometimes. HEHEHA.

What? Why are you looking at me like that? &$)($))
Your acting like Im FU..ing wacko or something. Those
were just dreams. LOL.. hahahah. What? Noooooo!
Can't be....it was all a bad dream right?"


Jennifer Capriati chatting with a writer from the Jelena
Dokic official website.

Greenout
Jul 6th, 2002, 10:40 AM
by Jennifer Capriati.





1) Hide copies of HIGH TIMES in case mandatory
tennis drug cop comes around to condo.

2) Get Stephen to buy cheap clean urine
samples to pass out to tennis drug cop if he
comes around to the condo in August before
the US OPEN.

3) Write gushy fan letter to Lindsay Davenport
begging her to return to the tour using
fake name.

4) See what the as#h*les at WTAworld com are
saying behind my back,

5) Pay Laura Granville the $20,000.00 I owe her
for implying that Mauresmo is on something
to the press corps at WIMBLEDON.

6) Not watch the WIMBLEDON final on NBC. Nobody
good is in it....mainly ME!!!

7) Mail back Xavier's bikini bottom that I stoled
when he use to come around to the playroom.

8) Make appointment with "special" doctor for
something other than Nandrolone or EPO for
US hardcourt season. Can't take chances with
tennis drug pigs coming around to Florida.

9) Throw away those stupid all white FILA outfits.
Bleach won't make those freakin grass stains
come out. I hate doing laundrey!!!

10) Buy a new bong from the Head Shop. And I
don't mean the tennis one.

Nimi
Jul 6th, 2002, 11:32 AM
YES! the thread is back!!

Greenout
Jul 6th, 2002, 12:09 PM
Capriati vs Capriati.



There are some things we should be
thankful for, and it is that Jenn doesn't have
a sister ala the Williamses(s). Imagaine
2 Jenn's in a draw. Imagine 2 foul mouthed
steriod using pot smoking losers on tour.



Ahhh. Don't you just love life?:p

Shane54
Jul 6th, 2002, 02:22 PM
Overhead at the Capriati dinnertable:

Stefano: Jennifer we need to practice that serve, so you can win the US Open

Jennifer: I am not worried about that. I need to concentrate on being the best little girl I can so Tee Rexx will like me. I mean its like his opinion means so much to me, he is like the Rod Laver of computer tennis to me. I don't know what I will do if he keeps on hating me. I can't live with it, b/c he knows everything to know about me and tennis. I should hire him as a coach.