PDA

View Full Version : You know you're a Lena D fan . . .


miffedmax
Jun 21st, 2005, 11:10 PM
Stolen from Jeff Foxworthy's "You Know You're a Redneck When . . ."

You know you're a Lena D. fan when . . .

you read the match stats and say "Only 8 DFs? That's not so bad."

you find yourself really, really wishing you'd taken Russian in college.

you find yourself thinking "That girl/woman would be really attractive if she were a little more muscular and had a pony tail thicker than any pony's actual tale," whenever you see an attractive woman/girl other than Lena.

you can't believe they're wasting time broadcasting a bunch of stupid matches when Lena D is practicing two courts over.

you find yourself visiting wtaworld more than once a day to talk about Lena D.

you start a thread on being a Lena D fan . . . or post to it.

Derek.
Jun 21st, 2005, 11:28 PM
you read the match stats and say "Only 8 DFs? That's not so bad."

:lol: I was thinking that the other day! :haha:

Dementinator
Jun 22nd, 2005, 12:11 AM
you create a ficticious ship called the SS Dementieva ,then enlist a huge crew ,become captain of it and then write stories!!

I think that covers it ,oh yeah almost forgot ,you simply cant stop thinking about her 24/7!!

You think ,wow that body!! she would be very useful on the farm come haymaking time!!

no other girl is even fit to stand near her!!

you wouldnt care if lena stopped playing during match ,reached into her kit bag ,took out an uzi and gunned the entire crowd down ,heys shes Lena ,she can do what she likes!!

No Name Face
Jun 22nd, 2005, 01:58 AM
you know you're an elenaD fan when...

...you get up at 5am to follow her match through livescoring :tape: :tape: :tape:

Vamos Feńa
Jun 22nd, 2005, 07:28 AM
You know you're a Lena D fan when you...
keep shouting watching her fighting on court
:D

Prizeidiot
Jun 22nd, 2005, 09:24 AM
you read the match stats and say "Only 8 DFs? That's not so bad."
Sweet, that's my quote! Does this mean I'm the benchmark? :p

You also know you're a Lena D fan when...

you think "grass is for losers" when you are a serve-volley player

you think bad thoughts when you see Tik-Tee's avatars (you were nice enough to mention my quote, so I'll acknowledge you Max)

you actually know "nyet" is the Russian equivalent of "come on"

you almost cry tears of joy when Elena hits an ace

you can identify bizarre qualities that let you know when you're a Lena D fan

Stephieva
Jun 22nd, 2005, 11:02 AM
Oh I'm so hooked by this thread. :kiss: :hearts: :drool:

You know when you're a LenaD fan when:

- When Lena's serve gets broken you'll be saying "That's what I thought." :rolleyes: :o

- You are :scared: the shit out off you when Lena faces Serena, Kim, Justine and Anastasia ...and will be :banana: when Lena plays Momo and Linds :lol:

- You think damn Shamil is an ass... :ras:

- After Lena wins big matches, you stay late in order to eajoy reading comments about how great Lena is on Wtaworld and sport websites. :toothy: And when Lena loses you can't handle to read such comments as Lena's horrid serve or poor form. :shrug: :crying2:

There are more...much more reasons but I leave others to add them. :hehehe:

Dementinator
Jun 22nd, 2005, 11:38 AM
you know youre a lena fan when you spend much of the tournys...

A/ rushing to the toilet for a wee every 5 mins during lena matches

B/ in total despair!

c/ in Absolute Heaven

d/ Doped up on beta blockers to control blood pressure

e/studying the draw intently for hours on end looking for "dangerous floaters" I.E anybody!


thats just a few more

shes hard work sometimes indeed ,but I can think of no player I would rather support ,shes absolutely bloody fantastic!! She transends just being a fan of her tennis ,I am a fan of HER!

Paco
Jun 22nd, 2005, 01:30 PM
Because I am. I just konw it ;)

Mathijs
Jun 22nd, 2005, 01:59 PM
you completely freak out if ya missed her match becuz the CC is packed

As you think of the first thing in the morning, Lena D..

and indeed like Capt said thinks about Lena 24/7 :lol:

Mathijs
Jun 22nd, 2005, 02:06 PM
you know youre a lena fan when you spend much of the tournys...

A/ rushing to the toilet for a wee every 5 mins during lena matches

B/ in total despair!

c/ in Absolute Heaven

d/ Doped up on beta blockers to control blood pressure

e/studying the draw intently for hours on end looking for "dangerous floaters" I.E anybody!


thats just a few more

shes hard work sometimes indeed ,but I can think of no player I would rather support ,shes absolutely bloody fantastic!! She transends just being a fan of her tennis ,I am a fan of HER!

yes all true, sounds familiar for me Capt hehe this is suffering from the real Lenatitis :lol:

got these:

1) you drive yourself crazy by not seeing Lena's match on tv

2) you getting mad if ya cannot find a pic of Lena from one of her latest matches...

3) get annoyed if the commentator goes on and on about Lena's serve while you thinks it's rather good...

4) if you sweating like hell and are hell nervous before a 1th round in a GS or any other tourney..

Mathijs
Jun 22nd, 2005, 02:09 PM
After Lena wins big matches, you stay late in order to eajoy reading comments about how great Lena is on Wtaworld and sport websites. :toothy: And when Lena loses you can't handle to read such comments as Lena's horrid serve or poor form. :shrug: :crying2:

great one Steph, happens to me all the bloody time...

get upset if others make bad comments about Lena,

finds nobody interesting in your stories bout Lena's sensational wins, while talking about it to your family...

Pilongo
Jun 22nd, 2005, 06:27 PM
you know you're an elenaD fan when...

...you get up at 5am to follow her match through livescoring :tape: :tape: :tape:

God thats waht i call a fan!

miffedmax
Jun 22nd, 2005, 06:59 PM
. . . when Lena is down 2-6, 0-1 and you're thinking "Lena has her just where she wants her."

. . . when Venus is a planet, Masha is the name of a character in a Checkov play, Justine is the name of a book by de Sade, Kim is a poem by Kipling and Hantuchova is something you say "God bless you" to.

_LuCaS_
Jun 22nd, 2005, 07:29 PM
- You are :scared: the shit out off you when Lena faces Serena, Kim, Justine and Anastasia ...and will be :banana: when Lena plays Momo and Linds :lol:

Crew you should get ready for some shields testing soon...(If I'll get the gunboat in optimal conditions by then :) )

PS: I'm :scared: when Nastya plays...erm...anyone :(

itzhak
Jun 22nd, 2005, 08:17 PM
you know youre a lena fan when you close your eyes when she is serving and start to pray to god, Jesus, ALLA or whoever will listen to your prayers...
or when after she broke the serve of the other player you write " Come on, Lenna, please hold now"...

Prizeidiot
Jun 23rd, 2005, 12:05 PM
Oh, one more

you know you're a Lena D fan when...

she's set point down on her second serve and you can't look

roldmant
Jun 23rd, 2005, 01:59 PM
You get pissed off when you watch the ESPNews scroll and they show the results of every seeded women's match except Lena's

(this actually happened yesterday)

Alenyaa
Jun 25th, 2005, 01:05 PM
You get pissed off when you watch the ESPNews scroll and they show the results of every seeded women's match except Lena's

(this actually happened yesterday)
Arses :ras:
You know you're a Lena D fan when you... switch the channel everytime she has a second serve on a set or gamepoint :p

jmcfarla
Jun 25th, 2005, 01:27 PM
...when you believe all women's tennis matches last 3 sets

...when you start to think of a break of serve as a 'hold'

Alenyaa
Jun 25th, 2005, 01:37 PM
...when you believe all women's tennis matches last 3 sets

...when you start to think of a break of serve as a 'hold'
:haha:

Mathijs
Jun 25th, 2005, 02:32 PM
Arses :ras:
You know you're a Lena D fan when you... switch the channel everytime she has a second serve on a set or gamepoint :p

Never happened to me, even if Lena serves an 2nd serve on a set or gamepoint i will stay and watch...

you know you're a Lena D fan when you try to send all your positive energy to Lena while watching Lena on tv, and touches Lena on teh screen becuz you think she gets some positive energy from you (i did this when i watched Lena's matches ag. Mauresmo and Capriati on the USO last year LMFAO)

Gets almost an heartattack or your stomach starts to tumble around, or your nerves freak out when you follow Lena's match live on the scoreboard on the website of a tournament, when it's not going well with Lena, as well as Lena is doing well

Paco
Jun 25th, 2005, 06:22 PM
when you start to think of a break of serve as a 'hold'

:lol:

Dementieva-fan
Jun 25th, 2005, 08:16 PM
You know you're a Lena D fan when...

....you listen to Zemfira because Lena likes it
....you try to speak Russian...but you're still crap at it!
....you're trying to do your homework while watching LenaD play...
....you set your alarm to watch te US Open final in the middle of the night...

Alenyaa
Jun 26th, 2005, 06:45 PM
You know you're a Lena D fan when...

....you listen to Zemfira because Lena likes it
....you try to speak Russian...but you're still crap at it!
....you're trying to do your homework while watching LenaD play...
....you set your alarm to watch te US Open final in the middle of the night...

1st one: Who? :p
2nd one: I actually know a couple of Russian words, but still very, very crappy in Russian :)
3rd one: quite impossible, isn't it? :p
4th: been there, done that... :)

evinrude15
Jun 26th, 2005, 06:51 PM
You know you're a Lena D fan when...

....you listen to Zemfira because Lena likes it
....you try to speak Russian...but you're still crap at it!
....you're trying to do your homework while watching LenaD play...
....you set your alarm to watch te US Open final in the middle of the night...

Strange because it's the same thing for me ;)

You Know you're a lena D fan when...
-you don't answer to your phone when she play
-you scream when she do a double fault in big moment
-you jump all around when she win a big match
-you cry like a baby(......yes i do it....) when she lost a final or some other big match

Alenyaa
Jun 26th, 2005, 06:58 PM
Number two and three are very familiar to me. :) Number four in a less extend, but definetely familiar :)

Paco
Jun 26th, 2005, 09:34 PM
Strange because it's the same thing for me ;)

You Know you're a lena D fan when...
-you don't answer to your phone when she play
-you scream when she do a double fault in big moment
-you jump all around when she win a big match
-you cry like a baby(......yes i do it....) when she lost a final or some other big match

I agree with every point.

miffedmax
Jun 27th, 2005, 10:16 PM
. . . she just blown her third straight chance to go to the quarterfinals of a GS, and she's still the only player you can conceive of caring about.

. . . you find yourself wishing she believed in her ability to serve as much as you do.

. . . you root for Nastya after she beats Lena on the grounds that any friend of Lena's is a friend of yours.

evinrude15
Jun 27th, 2005, 11:48 PM
You know you're a Lena D. fan when

You wanted to croos the ocean or country for just say to her : WE ARE BEHIND YOU NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN

Albireo
Jun 28th, 2005, 02:12 AM
...when you find yourself speaking Russian to your blonde, ponytailed wife during in bed. :bolt:

Prizeidiot
Jun 28th, 2005, 08:34 AM
You know you're a Lena D fan when...

- 10 hours after you find out she's lost a match she probably should have won, you're still upset
- when you're not even going to bother watching any of the women's matches after Dementieva loses

Paco
Jun 28th, 2005, 10:26 PM
. . . you root for Nastya after she beats Lena on the grounds that any friend of Lena's is a friend of yours.

That's true

Paco
Jun 28th, 2005, 10:27 PM
.... You can't imagine life without her.

Dementinator
Jun 28th, 2005, 11:33 PM
you find yourself caring passionately about someone who doesnt even know you exist and whose life makes no difference to yours.

you find yourself reacting stupidly when someone is mean about her.

you need a new keyboard for your PC everytime she loses

when lenas playing nothing else is even remotely important

Ronaldo777
Jun 29th, 2005, 04:52 PM
when you cant even enjoy seeing her play because you care too much.[happens to me a lot]
when lenas out of a tournament you couldn't care less about who wins it.
when lenas plaing its like your in another world,you forget about everything else and probably burn your dinner

jacky90104
Jul 1st, 2005, 05:24 AM
Elena :fiery::fiery::fiery:

El Dirko
Jul 1st, 2005, 02:08 PM
when you cant even enjoy seeing her play because you care too much.[happens to me a lot]



Quite true. To be perfectly honest I can't even watch her play.......it's too stressful :sad:

Dementinator
Jul 1st, 2005, 02:56 PM
Blood Pressure meds are certainly needed indeed ,but the sight of her gliding around the court I think is worth it ,livescore is the worst!

Fearful Jesuit
Jul 2nd, 2005, 12:51 AM
...when, after a Lena's lose, you begin to watch E! Entertainmet Television instead of ESPN... :rolleyes:

Vamos Feńa
Jul 4th, 2005, 06:09 PM
when you're happy she had 3DF-s in a close 3 setter
when you're isolating from everybody after her lose to Nastya in London :sad:

ceiling_fan
Jul 7th, 2005, 11:25 AM
when you don't talk to anyone for over 6 days and don't eat meat whenever she loses? :p

jokes!

Alenyaa
Jul 8th, 2005, 10:22 PM
Hehehe, that's evil! :p

miffedmax
Aug 4th, 2005, 08:02 PM
when you make choices about soccer teams to root for based on Lena's club affiliation

you throw your racket in a match and immediately feel awful because you know how much Lena HATES that!

Ronaldo777
Aug 5th, 2005, 02:53 AM
i don't get ceilings ''evil'' joke.explain i wanna know

Spunky83
Aug 5th, 2005, 02:58 AM
Ups...just to let you know. I didnīt steal your idea;)

Keep on going.

Dementinator
Aug 6th, 2005, 04:44 PM
when you are lying awake at night working out ways for Lena to improve her game.....

constantly doing complex math in your head to work out her ranking..

Thinking of flying to Moscow for the day ,just in case you can bump into her......

When you are struggling to get the top of a jar of jam ,you think "Lena would get this off no probs at all".....

kammgretel
Aug 7th, 2005, 09:35 AM
When you join all the clays to mold a Elena's doll, but you don't know from what part start touching;

When you raise a pencil, nearby the photo of the Golden Goddess, but you do not know how to start planning the lines of her;

When the hands sweating, and the work of art has not begun, you always imagine the image of her, and you know that it is worth while finishing this Elena's work of art.

But, never a work of art to replace to her real beauty, the perfect face, the strong body with the muscles, her mind of fighting, her sweetness, never.

You keep on imagining and the work of art continues without ending...

JLDementieva
Aug 7th, 2005, 04:33 PM
When you shake with horror everytime she hits a second serve...

when after a year, you still haven't gotten over the 2004 USO finals

when you scream and throw things at the TV when you watch her play

when after she loses, you stop following who else is in the tournament

when you buy a $5 magazine for just a tiny pic of her in it

Dementinator
Aug 7th, 2005, 04:55 PM
[QUOTE=JLDementieva]

when you buy a $5 magazine for just a tiny pic of her in it[/QUOTE=]

Now that i can identify with!!! :lol:

Alenyaa
Aug 13th, 2005, 01:02 PM
when you scream and throw things at the TV when you watch her play

when after she loses, you stop following who else is in the tournament

when you buy a $5 magazine for just a tiny pic of her in it
:haha:

Mathijs
Aug 15th, 2005, 03:34 PM
When you are on vacation abroad, and you just cannot wait to buy a local newspaper for seeing scores of Lena :lol:

When you can't stop to think about Lena, when you're off the board for two weeks

miffedmax
Aug 15th, 2005, 05:35 PM
. . . you're trying to lure Spunky to the "blonde" side . . .

Kozak
Aug 19th, 2005, 02:19 AM
You know you're LenaD fan when:
-you trying learn Russian becouse is her mother tongue
-you cry after each matches. When she lose because it aches :crying2: but when she win because it so wonderful :inlove: :yippee: !!
-you pray daily and you ask "O Lord pleas, Lena must be happy and her life be succesful!!!. :bounce:
-almost daily you have a dream with her and she is your best friend (in this dream she's 17:)) :drool:
- you cook birthday cake for Lena a sing a song to foto
- you talk with her foto and daily say "good morning Lena(princess, boo,etc.) " and "Good nignt Lena(princess etc.)

vogus
Sep 14th, 2005, 02:37 AM
you know you're a Lena D fan when...

...the nice lady who hooked you up with free tickets to the US Open needs you to help her out with choosing some souvenirs, but you tell her, "Sorry honey, Lena's match is starting in 15 minutes and i have to run over to Court 11, otherwise all the good seats will be taken..."

SloKid
Sep 14th, 2005, 12:44 PM
you know you're a Lena D fan when...
...you change clothes after every set she plays, cause if she does it, you should too or even if you play you go of the court to change your clothes
...you think tournaments actually end when Lena loses and no matches are played from then on

evinrude15
Sep 14th, 2005, 03:27 PM
you know you're a Lena D fan when...

-you are from france, born in paris, and you will go to the fed cup final for the 2 days for support russia against more than 500 people for france. And you buy a flag of russia and make a t-shirt for hope that she will see you and maybe, maybe help just a little to win with your cry like " DAVAI ELENA " or " ELENA JE TAIME " ( elena I love you) " Elena t'est la meilleur " (elena your the best) all in french because she will understand what you say ;)

miffedmax
Sep 14th, 2005, 04:39 PM
you know you're a Lena D fan when...

-you are from france, born in paris, and you will go to the fed cup final for the 2 days for support russia against more than 500 people for france. And you buy a flag of russia and make a t-shirt for hope that she will see you and maybe, maybe help just a little to win with your cry like " DAVAI ELENA " or " ELENA JE TAIME " ( elena I love you) " Elena t'est la meilleur " (elena your the best) all in french because she will understand what you say ;)

Today's topic: Evinrude, bold or suicidal?

Discuss amongst yourselves. ;)

(Seriously, throw in a couple of "davais" for me.)

Alenyaa
Sep 14th, 2005, 05:25 PM
Evin, you are a brave man. I will make sure you receive a proper funeral :lol:

udachi Elena
Sep 14th, 2005, 05:44 PM
when you arrive 2 hours before play even starts in armstrong to make sure you get courtside seats for lena's match..which is on second.

when you wear the wristbands she gave you during her matches b/c you think it'll help her serve better

when you are cheering for her in america..against an american...and all the other americans stare at you, yet you continue on

evinrude15
Sep 14th, 2005, 09:12 PM
Evin, you are a brave man. I will make sure you receive a proper funeral :lol:

Thanks for that ;) taht will be nice of you.

miffedmax I will cry a lot of davai for you and all the other. and if I have some problem I will say that i'm russian ;)

Paco
Sep 14th, 2005, 09:34 PM
"ELENA JE TAIME "
It sounds great

DementievaStyle
Sep 15th, 2005, 02:56 PM
I know im a huge Lena fan because just like when my favorite football team loses, when Lena loses in a big match, it really will put me in a terrible mood for a long time. After a while I just have to stop thinking about Elena and her last grandslam defeat otherwise I would never be truely happy again. Its only because I know she should be winning GS's by now (and even worse when she gets knocked out by an inferior player like Pierce :banghead: )

Alenyaa
Sep 16th, 2005, 01:27 PM
Welcome mate! Nice to see another new Elena fan!

miffedmax
Sep 16th, 2005, 05:05 PM
I know im a huge Lena fan because just like when my favorite football team loses, when Lena loses in a big match, it really will put me in a terrible mood for a long time. After a while I just have to stop thinking about Elena and her last grandslam defeat otherwise I would never be truely happy again. Its only because I know she should be winning GS's by now (and even worse when she gets knocked out by an inferior player like Pierce :banghead: )

Yes, and be sure to hit the "ultimate soccer thread" here to tell us more about your team!

DementievaStyle
Sep 16th, 2005, 05:08 PM
Yes i will! What could be better, an Elana devoted forum and a soccer thread in the same place :D

Spookykitty
Sep 17th, 2005, 06:57 AM
Hello,

I just joined the group and was immediately drawn to this thread.

After reading everyone's response ( as unoriginal as it may sound) Ditto !

I have to say all of you have expressed what I feel . Her passion her agility and the excitement of her play keeps me glued to the edge of my seat.

I guess I'm hooked.

=^..^=boo!

Paco
Sep 17th, 2005, 10:45 AM
Welcome Spookykitty.

Dementirilenko
Sep 17th, 2005, 12:50 PM
Hello,

I just joined the group and was immediately drawn to this thread.

After reading everyone's response ( as unoriginal as it may sound) Ditto !

I have to say all of you have expressed what I feel . Her passion her agility and the excitement of her play keeps me glued to the edge of my seat.

I guess I'm hooked.

=^..^=boo!


Yeah, welcome, its nice to see that more and more fans come to this Lena D - forum to support her.

Mathijs
Sep 17th, 2005, 03:24 PM
Hello,

I just joined the group and was immediately drawn to this thread.

After reading everyone's response ( as unoriginal as it may sound) Ditto !

I have to say all of you have expressed what I feel . Her passion her agility and the excitement of her play keeps me glued to the edge of my seat.

I guess I'm hooked.

=^..^=boo!

Hi there, welcome here :), we're all hooked here, so dun worry bout that :D

You know when your a Lena D fan, when you serve like shite in a match, and you think so what that i have no serve, my game's still good!

Spookykitty
Sep 18th, 2005, 02:55 AM
Thanks to all for the warm welcome.

I'm sitting here watching the taped version of Elena's match against Pierce on the Tennis Channel. ( Elena looks great )

Even though I already know the score I'm still on the edge of my seat.

I guess that goes with being a fan . Count me in

=^..^= Boo!

evinrude15
Sep 20th, 2005, 01:34 AM
When you have the luck to be with the russian tema, with russian friend, spend 3 days all with only russian people, getting violent by some stupid PSG ( Paris football team ) fan who don't like that you have the russian flag and a t-shirt with lena on you.
When you yell so much taht today you can't speak any more, when she look at your box with other russian and try to find some good power with us.
When you almost died when she lost some point
When you lost 2 kg in 2 days during fed cup
When she comes to you and say ( in your language ) "thanks you very much for your support " and smile on you.
When she tape your hand after win and...
when all the russian team accept a french like me to be with us, accept me like I was russian seen my born.

miffedmax
Sep 20th, 2005, 02:31 PM
. . . when this is the most excited you've been about a sporting event since Paul Caliguri's goal against T&T that sent your country to its first World Cup in 40 years.

!!!--Duiz™--!!!
Sep 20th, 2005, 07:12 PM
no more sveta's jokes? :sad:

miffedmax
Sep 20th, 2005, 09:32 PM
no more sveta's jokes? :sad:

It's cruel to kick a cow when she's down.

Dementinator
Sep 21st, 2005, 01:40 AM
when u are 6000 miles away on vacation and your choice of campsites are based solely on them having WiFi so u can follow scores etc! so what if its by 3 railroads 2 airports ,the freeway and a ghetto!! its got WiFi!!!!

Alenyaa
Sep 21st, 2005, 02:13 PM
:worship:

vogus
Sep 22nd, 2005, 10:35 PM
so what if its by 3 railroads 2 airports ,the freeway and a ghetto!!


Los Angeles is a great place, isn't it? I'm hoping to do a little Lena-sightseeing there in November. ;)