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tennisIlove09
Mar 2nd, 2005, 04:10 AM
:shrug: :sad: :shrug: :sad:

UDiTY
Mar 2nd, 2005, 04:13 AM
At gameS?

Or on people!?

tennisIlove09
Mar 2nd, 2005, 04:13 AM
on people :sad: :sad:

bw2082
Mar 2nd, 2005, 04:15 AM
:sad: :hug:

AjdeNate!
Mar 2nd, 2005, 04:37 AM
because men can be hateful and evil. they tell lies, tell you what you wanna hear, then act like little boys and go back on every word they've ever said.

Philbo
Mar 2nd, 2005, 04:46 AM
TennisIlove - I understand your pain..

Ive been in 3 serious rships and Ive been cheated on twice. At the time it feels like your whole world has fallen out from underneath you and the feeling of betrayal is so intense that it really does give you an insight into how fine-a-line, the difference between love and hate really is. Intense emotions like love can quickly turn into an equally intense feeling of hate..

Whatever feelings you are having right now the important thing is dont fight them..dont resist them.. let yourself feel whatever you are feeling. What you resist, persists. The best way to move on from negative thoughts and emotions is just to let them go through you, recognise the fact you are feeling that way, and eventually you'll grow tired of feeling like that choose a different feeling.

The best way to dealing with being cheated on is to try - eventually - to move out of the victim mentality. When you first find out you feel like such a victim but that feeling can trap you inside that cycle of feeling victimised so its important to try and move on from the victim mentality asap. What helped me to deal with it and regain my 'zest for life' after feeling totally gutted, was realising one day that they guys who cheated on me want just the same thing out of life that I do - basically to be happy.

To be happy is basically what all of us want. Once I realised that I wasnt the person that could make my partner happy, it took away some of the sharpness of the pain of being cheated on and allowed me to view the whole thing as pretty typical and blunted that sharp pain of betrayal etc i.e 'how could you do it to me" etc.. once I realised that my ex's are on the same sort of journey that I myself am on - searching for happiness and seeking to evolve as a human being, I didnt feel so completely shitty and eventually forgave the guys for doing it and the two that cheated are now 2 of my best friends.. When I understood that they didnt cheat, specifically to hurt me personally, simply because our rship wasnt fulfilling them so they needed to find that fulfillment elsewhere, I was a long way toward having dealt with it and moving on.

shap_half
Mar 2nd, 2005, 04:53 AM
Men are big fucking assholes. That's why. Czechfan, all you said was great and lovely, but men are just assholes. There's no other way to justify their behavior - especially gay men.

If I didn't need men to have sex, I really wouldn't be talking to them. It's sad, I know.

tennisIlove09
Mar 2nd, 2005, 04:56 AM
TennisIlove - I understand your pain..

Ive been in 3 serious rships and Ive been cheated on twice. At the time it feels like your whole world has fallen out from underneath you and the feeling of betrayal is so intense that it really does give you an insight into how fine-a-line, the difference between love and hate really is. Intense emotions like love can quickly turn into an equally intense feeling of hate..

Whatever feelings you are having right now the important thing is dont fight them..dont resist them.. let yourself feel whatever you are feeling. What you resist, persists. The best way to move on from negative thoughts and emotions is just to let them go through you, recognise the fact you are feeling that way, and eventually you'll grow tired of feeling like that choose a different feeling.

The best way to dealing with being cheated on is to try - eventually - to move out of the victim mentality. When you first find out you feel like such a victim but that feeling can trap you inside that cycle of feeling victimised so its important to try and move on from the victim mentality asap. What helped me to deal with it and regain my 'zest for life' after feeling totally gutted, was realising one day that they guys who cheated on me want just the same thing out of life that I do - basically to be happy.

To be happy is basically what all of us want. Once I realised that I wasnt the person that could make my partner happy, it took away some of the sharpness of the pain of being cheated on and allowed me to view the whole thing as pretty typical and blunted that sharp pain of betrayal etc i.e 'how could you do it to me" etc.. once I realised that my ex's are on the same sort of journey that I myself am on - searching for happiness and seeking to evolve as a human being, I didnt feel so completely shitty and eventually forgave the guys for doing it and the two that cheated are now 2 of my best friends.. When I understood that they didnt cheat, specifically to hurt me personally, simply because our rship wasnt fulfilling them so they needed to find that fulfillment elsewhere, I was a long way toward having dealt with it and moving on.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Thanks hun...right now, I dont feel like I could ever forgive him. The worst part is, he's already with someone else? like two days later...he's with someone else :shrug:

Cariaoke
Mar 2nd, 2005, 04:59 AM
wow... it's not even women doing the male-bashing... *subscribes to thread for future argument's sake* ;)

Men... err People cheat because they are selfish or cowards or both. Instead of properly ending a relationship before they go into another one, they find it easier to sneak and cheat or find it exciting. Or they're whores who want a sure thing and the ability to have it on the side. They usually want freedom and stability which are not mutually exclusive.

In short, they cheat because they can.

:hug: :kiss:

F-R-E-A-K
Mar 2nd, 2005, 05:05 AM
:sad: :kiss: :hug: :smooch: :drink:

shap_half
Mar 2nd, 2005, 05:11 AM
Men cheat because they are selfish and only care about their own pleasure. That's the reality of the situation, Dallas. It's a sad fact because it's true.

I'll tell you a little story:

There was once a gay man who "hung out" with another gay man for about a month and a half. They went out to dinner, watch movies, held hands, & hooked up several times -- and of course cuddled. After that month and a half of getting to know one another on a somewhat personal and intimate level, 1/2 of the gay pair, who we will refer to as BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET, lets the other one know, who we will call POOR WELL-DRESSED VICTIM, that he had some other gay guy, who we will call STUPID-ASS CRACK WHORE, suck his dick. To compensate STUPID-ASS CRACK WHORE for his service, BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET proceeds to masturbate him. POOR WELL-DRESSED VICTIM is distraught upon receiving such information from BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET because he thought this month and a half of hanging out was actually leading to something. He gets very, very upset at BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET (BAOTP) and refuses to ever talk to him again. BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET replies with, "I thought we were just hanging out. I didn't know something was going on with us. It was never official." POOR WELL-DRESSED VICTIM (PW-DV) is flabberghasted by the gaul of BAOTP. PW-DV is an idiot and a couple of months later forgives BAOTP after weeks of shameless apologies. PW-DV however becomes so paranoid that BAOTP will fuck up again that he could not help but worry everytime BAOTP is out somewhere else. PW-DV then breaks it off for the second time because he could not trust BAOTP. In short, BAOTP ruins PW-DV's ability to trust men.

There's the story kids. I hope you learn from PW-DV's mistakes.

Rohin.
Mar 2nd, 2005, 05:15 AM
mandy cheats :p :ras:

RVD
Mar 2nd, 2005, 05:49 AM
I feel for everyone who's ever been cheated on. :sad:
Both of my trick-azz wives cheated on me, so I showed 'em both the door...
...after taking back the cars I bought em and credits cards of course. :lol:

Men, if you wanna get back at a woman for cheating, close out her credit card accounts. :devil: :lol:

"Sluggy"
Mar 2nd, 2005, 07:45 AM
Women cheat cause they want attention and love generally... or they are just hoes.

Men cheat cause they can and they want to stay young.

Marcus1979
Mar 2nd, 2005, 07:47 AM
:hug: :hug: :hug:

Thanks hun...right now, I dont feel like I could ever forgive him. The worst part is, he's already with someone else? like two days later...he's with someone else :shrug:

Poor Dallas :sad:

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

"Sluggy"
Mar 2nd, 2005, 07:52 AM
wow... it's not even women doing the male-bashing... *subscribes to thread for future argument's sake* ;)

Men... err People cheat because they are selfish or cowards or both. Instead of properly ending a relationship before they go into another one, they find it easier to sneak and cheat or find it exciting. Or they're whores who want a sure thing and the ability to have it on the side. They usually want freedom and stability which are not mutually exclusive.

In short, they cheat because they can.

:hug: :kiss:

I think gay men tend to do more male bashing than straight ones, that might be what you are seeing here.

I agree, we cheat because we can. I dont think its the worst thing in the world to do. Most people I know would have extra relationship contacts because it makes them feel good, to share affection witha person. :hearts: Also it maybe be just a question of curiousity.... the kind of "oh i havent had strawberry ice cream in a while, who says i cant just cause i have a SO" :lol:

mandy7
Mar 2nd, 2005, 07:54 AM
Why do People Cheat?

Cause sometimes's it's hard to resist the temptation
and some give in to it

DutchieGirl
Mar 2nd, 2005, 08:15 AM
If I didn't need men to have sex, I really wouldn't be talking to them. It's sad, I know.

:haha: You know, technically, you don't need men to have sex... lesbo's do just fine without em! ;) (No offence to any guys - just pointing out the fact, just as guys don't need girls for sex either...). ;) Plus then there's always masturbation too! ;)

mandy7
Mar 2nd, 2005, 08:25 AM
:haha: You know, technically, you don't need men to have sex... lesbo's do just fine without em! ;) (No offence to any guys - just pointing out the fact, just as guys don't need girls for sex either...). ;) Plus then there's always masturbation too! ;)

:rolls:
well, us straight ppl do need guys :lol:
and come on, it beats self-service

mandy7
Mar 2nd, 2005, 08:26 AM
mandy cheats :p :ras:

hey, i was young! it happens!

tennisIlove09
Mar 2nd, 2005, 04:22 PM
:hug: thanks to all who replied :hug:

Josh B.
Mar 2nd, 2005, 04:29 PM
I will never cheat, id hate myself for it!! :)

I dont like upsetting anyone!
If a lady cheated on me, id feel broken!
I love Gem and i would never ever cheat on her. I love her too much.

So not all men are tossers!

:D

PaulieM
Mar 2nd, 2005, 04:30 PM
men are heartless bastards that don't care about anyone other than themselves, that's why they cheat. some of the excuses they come up with, honestly they have no shame. this is not to say that some women don't cheat too. either way i hate people that cheat. i don't believe any of that it was a mistake crap, i think people who do it know full well what they are doing and only feel bad once they get caught. no matter how bad your relationship is or whatever, just do the reasonable thing and get out of it first, it's not an excuse for hooking up with someone else.

Josh B.
Mar 2nd, 2005, 04:31 PM
:shrug: :sad: :shrug: :sad:

Forget him,

Its his loss, i think any man would be greatful to have a grade A guy like you! :)

If he cant see how good you are, then he is blind! :)

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Josh B.
Mar 2nd, 2005, 04:36 PM
They think they are cool, but they are just twats!

Hulet
Mar 2nd, 2005, 04:44 PM
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
I don't think this is exactly the appropriate smilie for this thread. For christ sake, look how many green heads the red fella hugs and kisses - typical cheater. :rolleyes:

tennisIlove09
Mar 2nd, 2005, 05:04 PM
Forget him,

Its his loss, i think any man would be greatful to have a grade A gal like you! :)

If he cant see how good you are, then he is blind! :)

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Thanks hun...but I'm a boy :p

tennisIlove09
Mar 2nd, 2005, 05:04 PM
I will never cheat, id hate myself for it!! :)

I dont like upsetting anyone!
If a lady cheated on me, id feel broken!
I love Gem and i would never ever cheat on her. I love her too much.

So not all men are tossers!

:D

I wouldn'tb e able to cheat either. I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt

Josh B.
Mar 2nd, 2005, 05:10 PM
Thanks hun...but I'm a boy :p


OOO BOLLOCKS!!!!

Sorry!!

Josh B.
Mar 2nd, 2005, 05:13 PM
Forget him,

Its his loss, i think any man would be greatful to have a grade A guy like you! :)

If he cant see how good you are, then he is blind! :)

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:


Is that better or have i fucked up again, if i have, just rewrite it for me.

Im soo tired, im losing it!! :retard:

¤CharlDa¤
Mar 2nd, 2005, 05:18 PM
Poor Dallas :sad: You deserve so much more than that!

Philbo
Mar 2nd, 2005, 10:06 PM
Its quite surprising in this thread how much bitterness people carry!

Its easy to label somoene who has cheated as a 'pathetic asshole' or words to that effect, but its not as black and white as that..

When most people cheat, they do it because some 'spark' or passion or whatever has gone out of the rship that they are in. The cheater may feel this consciously, or subconciously..i.e the thought may go through thier head, or it may not go through their head consciously - they may just feel a certain feeling missing etc..

Then they will meet somone else who makes them feel that spark, that passion, that fresh new feeling of being desired and wanted by someone new.... But of course they still 'love' the person they are with.. SO they may try and fight their new feelings of attraction to the new person out of 'doing the right thing' by their existing partner.. I have to laugh at the people who expect their partner to end their exisitng rship before moving onto the next one... How difficult do you think it is to come home from work on a typical day and just drop the bombshell that they have fallen out of love with you, and in love with someone else? Its fucking hard and only the most disciplined people are able to do it all neat and tidy like that..

But what happens more commonly, is the cheater will explore their feelings of attraction with the new person, comparing the way that makes them feel with the way their old rship makes them feel, and usually will act out those feelings and BANG they've 'cheated'..

It all comes down to your definition of LOVE.. Real love is unconditional. Its not a 'contract' that needs to be adhered to.. If you were REALLY in LOVE with someone you would want them to be happy, whether thats with you, or someone else..

Most people idea of love though is a needs exchange. You meet someone who can fulfill your needs (of feeling wanted and desired, of feeling secure in a rship with someone else, of having the comfort of someone to share their bed with etc etc)... so two people enter into a rship and basically exchange the fulfillment of each others needs - but this isnt LOVE in the real definition of what love is about.. THis is just basically a contract. As soon as one partner stops fulfilling their end of the contract (i.e your needs stop being met) the other one accuses them of 'changing' ..But that person hasnt really changed..THey are still being who they really are.. The only change is that the needs fulfilment on either end has stopped being met and therefore that person now isnt in 'love' with the other person..But thats not real love at all...its jsut a contract.

Philbo
Mar 2nd, 2005, 10:12 PM
Men cheat because they are selfish and only care about their own pleasure. That's the reality of the situation, Dallas. It's a sad fact because it's true.

I'll tell you a little story:

There was once a gay man who "hung out" with another gay man for about a month and a half. They went out to dinner, watch movies, held hands, & hooked up several times -- and of course cuddled. After that month and a half of getting to know one another on a somewhat personal and intimate level, 1/2 of the gay pair, who we will refer to as BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET, lets the other one know, who we will call POOR WELL-DRESSED VICTIM, that he had some other gay guy, who we will call STUPID-ASS CRACK WHORE, suck his dick. To compensate STUPID-ASS CRACK WHORE for his service, BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET proceeds to masturbate him. POOR WELL-DRESSED VICTIM is distraught upon receiving such information from BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET because he thought this month and a half of hanging out was actually leading to something. He gets very, very upset at BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET (BAOTP) and refuses to ever talk to him again. BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET replies with, "I thought we were just hanging out. I didn't know something was going on with us. It was never official." POOR WELL-DRESSED VICTIM (PW-DV) is flabberghasted by the gaul of BAOTP. PW-DV is an idiot and a couple of months later forgives BAOTP after weeks of shameless apologies. PW-DV however becomes so paranoid that BAOTP will fuck up again that he could not help but worry everytime BAOTP is out somewhere else. PW-DV then breaks it off for the second time because he could not trust BAOTP. In short, BAOTP ruins PW-DV's ability to trust men.

There's the story kids. I hope you learn from PW-DV's mistakes.
This post was funny as all hell, but in all honesty Shap-half, and with all due respect, I just think you are kidding yourself if you felt that BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET owed you something after 6 weeks of 'dating' when you guys had had no conversation around 'making it official' etc.. BAOTP sounds like a regular guy who enjoyed getting to know you, but wasnt sure about committing to something monogamous and 'official'. Making him out to be the biggest prick ever may make you feel a bit better, but its not based in reality.

BAOTP sounds like a normal, regular guy to me who wasnt obligated to do, or not do, anythign based on 6 weeks of spending time together and getting to know each other.. Unless he actively lied to you, but it doesnt sound like he did that..You said you guys never had a chat that made it 'official'. IMO Biggest asshole on the planet = a nice normal guy.

tennisIlove09
Mar 3rd, 2005, 03:54 AM
OOO BOLLOCKS!!!!

Sorry!!

It's ok hun :hug:

Stamp Paid
Mar 3rd, 2005, 07:58 AM
Because sometimes people get too clingy and aggravating and you need to give them a reason to break up, because you dont have the heart to just say, "Youre aggravating, leave me alone". To do this, you cheat intentionally sloppily so that you can be caught. Phone numbers in your pockets, not signing out of Hotmail intentionally, etc.

Or maybe u werent actually cheating, the other person just wasnt clear on what our relationship was.

Thats why I've "cheated."

Marcus1979
Mar 3rd, 2005, 08:36 AM
I am strange

I cry more over dead animals than people when they die.

its like I can't get a connection with people

:haha:

Shuji Shuriken
Mar 3rd, 2005, 03:12 PM
Men cheat because they are selfish and only care about their own pleasure. That's the reality of the situation, Dallas. It's a sad fact because it's true.

I'll tell you a little story:

There was once a gay man who "hung out" with another gay man for about a month and a half. They went out to dinner, watch movies, held hands, & hooked up several times -- and of course cuddled. After that month and a half of getting to know one another on a somewhat personal and intimate level, 1/2 of the gay pair, who we will refer to as BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET, lets the other one know, who we will call POOR WELL-DRESSED VICTIM, that he had some other gay guy, who we will call STUPID-ASS CRACK WHORE, suck his dick. To compensate STUPID-ASS CRACK WHORE for his service, BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET proceeds to masturbate him. POOR WELL-DRESSED VICTIM is distraught upon receiving such information from BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET because he thought this month and a half of hanging out was actually leading to something. He gets very, very upset at BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET (BAOTP) and refuses to ever talk to him again. BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON THE PLANET replies with, "I thought we were just hanging out. I didn't know something was going on with us. It was never official." POOR WELL-DRESSED VICTIM (PW-DV) is flabberghasted by the gaul of BAOTP. PW-DV is an idiot and a couple of months later forgives BAOTP after weeks of shameless apologies. PW-DV however becomes so paranoid that BAOTP will fuck up again that he could not help but worry everytime BAOTP is out somewhere else. PW-DV then breaks it off for the second time because he could not trust BAOTP. In short, BAOTP ruins PW-DV's ability to trust men.

There's the story kids. I hope you learn from PW-DV's mistakes.
I can testify to this :worship:...fuck ups. That's what men are. There was I guy I fell madly for. I recently found out he and one of my friends were sneaking on the side. I forgave him, but I just couldn't trust him anymore. I couldn't. I worried sick when he went out to "hang out" with friends, and I continued to hear shit. I broke it off a couple of weeks ago. ALL MEN ARE DOGS!!!! ALLLLLLLLLL OF THOSE FUCKERS!!

tennisIlove09
Mar 3rd, 2005, 07:20 PM
Because sometimes people get too clingy and aggravating and you need to give them a reason to break up, because you dont have the heart to just say, "Youre aggravating, leave me alone". To do this, you cheat intentionally sloppily so that you can be caught. Phone numbers in your pockets, not signing out of Hotmail intentionally, etc.

Or maybe u werent actually cheating, the other person just wasnt clear on what our relationship was.

Thats why I've "cheated."

maybe? that's not the case here, i dont think. he told me he was falling for me? :shrug:

oh well...i'm not depressive about it anymore...i've turned bitter and angery :p

RVD
Mar 3rd, 2005, 07:37 PM
Its quite surprising in this thread how much bitterness people carry!

Its easy to label somoene who has cheated as a 'pathetic asshole' or words to that effect, but its not as black and white as that..

When most people cheat, they do it because some 'spark' or passion or whatever has gone out of the rship that they are in. The cheater may feel this consciously, or subconciously..i.e the thought may go through thier head, or it may not go through their head consciously - they may just feel a certain feeling missing etc..

Then they will meet somone else who makes them feel that spark, that passion, that fresh new feeling of being desired and wanted by someone new.... But of course they still 'love' the person they are with.. SO they may try and fight their new feelings of attraction to the new person out of 'doing the right thing' by their existing partner.. I have to laugh at the people who expect their partner to end their exisitng rship before moving onto the next one... How difficult do you think it is to come home from work on a typical day and just drop the bombshell that they have fallen out of love with you, and in love with someone else? Its fucking hard and only the most disciplined people are able to do it all neat and tidy like that..

But what happens more commonly, is the cheater will explore their feelings of attraction with the new person, comparing the way that makes them feel with the way their old rship makes them feel, and usually will act out those feelings and BANG they've 'cheated'..

It all comes down to your definition of LOVE.. Real love is unconditional. Its not a 'contract' that needs to be adhered to.. If you were REALLY in LOVE with someone you would want them to be happy, whether thats with you, or someone else..

Most people idea of love though is a needs exchange. You meet someone who can fulfill your needs (of feeling wanted and desired, of feeling secure in a rship with someone else, of having the comfort of someone to share their bed with etc etc)... so two people enter into a rship and basically exchange the fulfillment of each others needs - but this isnt LOVE in the real definition of what love is about.. THis is just basically a contract. As soon as one partner stops fulfilling their end of the contract (i.e your needs stop being met) the other one accuses them of 'changing' ..But that person hasnt really changed..THey are still being who they really are.. The only change is that the needs fulfilment on either end has stopped being met and therefore that person now isnt in 'love' with the other person..But thats not real love at all...its jsut a contract.http://deephousepage.com/smilies/eye_anim.gifhttp://deephousepage.com/smilies/eye_anim.gif :unsure:
Sooooooo...in other words cheaters are selfish twats, and cowards besides? THANKS! :wavey:

tfannis
Mar 3rd, 2005, 07:51 PM
They cheat because it's unnatural to be monogamic :o :shrug:

Marcus1979
Mar 3rd, 2005, 08:44 PM
maybe? that's not the case here, i dont think. he told me he was falling for me? :shrug:

oh well...i'm not depressive about it anymore...i've turned bitter and angery :p

so is vengence on the mind

;)

Ms Tracy Austin
Mar 3rd, 2005, 09:00 PM
People cheat for many reasons, and without knowing your whole situation it's impossible for me to say exactly why. What I can tell you is that there are two "basic" reasons people cheat.

1). Because they get something from that other person that they can't get from you (or are afraid to ask you). This could be material things, or a particular type of sex, or emotional support which makes them feel good about themselves.


2). Some people cheat because they want to have sex with you and other people, but wouldn't dare tell you this becuase "A" They know you wouldn't waste your time with them, and "B" because if they tell you they won't get sex from you if they haven't already.


Now if it's #1, that person could actually still love you, but just isn't getting fulfilled mentally, physically or both. If the reason is #2 they may have liked you some, but didn't love you at all. Since this person is already with someone else, I'm guessing it's #2.

This person did you a favor, they opened the door for someone who is worthy of you to step into your life. In the future, safeguard your heart and your body until you know to the best of your knowledge that this person is for real. I answered this post because I care about you, you seem to be one of the nicest people on this planet, let alone this message board. :hug:

Kart
Mar 7th, 2005, 09:53 PM
People are scum. Accept it.