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Mary Carillo
Jan 21st, 2005, 05:45 PM
First and foremost, may I explain to my European fans that head is slang for advice - here in the USA.Itís nothing at all to do with the racquet. Well I hope thatís that cleared up!

Itís plain as the nose on your face that many of you love to speculate on the sport of tennis. Many have never played the game professionally, nor for recreation. But this should not repel you from reading my fascinating and attentive opinion on the sport of tennis. For those of you who have taken a racquet in your hand and took a swing, help is at hand.
With all my extensive wealth of experience and knowledge, I will be providing you an opinion on how to improve your game. (FREE of charge).
Do you have a problem with your, SERVE, BACKHAND, FOREHAND, GRIP, or you just ainít sure what equipment to use? Well now all your tennis dilemma are at an and - help is at hand. So donít be self-conscious or embarrassed, just ask and Mary will assist!

cheo23
Jan 21st, 2005, 05:52 PM
WE LOve U Mary CARILLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

alfajeffster
Jan 21st, 2005, 05:55 PM
Okay, Mary, here's one for you: John McEnroe is coming to town for a Legends Exhibition in about a month and a half. What's the best way to get him to agree to play mixed doubles with a repressed homosexual?

Mary Carillo
Jan 21st, 2005, 06:04 PM
Advice I have in plenty. As for miracles see Steffi, sheís the one who can walk on water!!
Quite frankly I do not foresee any difficulty with Johnny Mac playing a mixed doubles match concerning Brad Gilbert!!

alfajeffster
Jan 21st, 2005, 06:26 PM
:tennis:

Calimero377
Jan 21st, 2005, 06:35 PM
Mary, you slut!

Sally Struthers
Jan 21st, 2005, 06:38 PM
Mary I want to know how one develops such a "unique" voice for tennis commentating like you have.

Being a 2 time Emmy winning actress, I'm good at dialects and accents but I can't seem to get my voice low enough to emulate you.

alfajeffster
Jan 21st, 2005, 06:47 PM
One of the first things they look for on the resume when someone is applying to be a female sportscaster is how many years they spent training how to be a girly-fella.

Mary Carillo
Jan 21st, 2005, 07:01 PM
One of the first things they look for on the resume when someone is applying to be a female sportscaster is how many years they spent training how to be a girly-fella.


I cannot believe you made such a comment!! :sad: My father told me a story concerning my birth, on this very subject matter!! Do you know, when my mother had just gave birth, the doctor came in and said.......

Doctor -"I have to tell you something about your baby."

Mrs Carillo - "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor? What's wrong?"

Doctor - "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite."

Mrs Carillo - "A hermaphrodite... what's that?"

Doctor - "Well, it means your baby has the... er... features... of a male and a female."

Mrs Carillo - "Oh my god! You mean it has a penis... AND a brain?"

soos n the sis
Jan 21st, 2005, 07:08 PM
"Mary Carillo gives head" I'm falling off my chair :lol: :lol: :lol: :rofl: Mary, I have a very important question to ask you: does size really matter? I mean, how long can the grip be, to satisfy my desire to play good, hot, sweaty tennis?

alfajeffster
Jan 21st, 2005, 07:12 PM
I cannot believe you made such a comment!! :sad: My father told me a story concerning my birth, on this very subject matter!! Do you know, when my mother had just gave birth, the doctor came in and said.......

Doctor -"I have to tell you something about your baby."

Mrs Carillo - "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor? What's wrong?"

Doctor - "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite."

Mrs Carillo - "A hermaphrodite... what's that?"

Doctor - "Well, it means your baby has the... er... features... of a male and a female."

Mrs Carillo - "Oh my god! You mean it has a penis... AND a brain?"

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

That was simply divining (rod)!:lol:

soos n the sis
Jan 21st, 2005, 07:12 PM
"a penis ...and a brain" oh stop!!! please!!

vogus
Jan 21st, 2005, 07:16 PM
Mary's a city gurl but she sure knows how to do that good-ole-down-home-on-the-farm accent dont she.

alfajeffster
Jan 21st, 2005, 07:29 PM
"a penis ...and a brain" oh stop!!! please!!
It sure beats thinking through the seat of your pants, don't it?

soos n the sis
Jan 21st, 2005, 07:44 PM
hmmm, for your information, alfajeffster, I'm a 16 year old girl. I'm the one with the brain. you misunderstood

alfajeffster
Jan 21st, 2005, 07:55 PM
hmmm, for your information, alfajeffster, I'm a 16 year old girl. I'm the one with the brain. you misunderstood
What's to misunderstand, your signature? your avatar? this sterile environment? the smell of your 16 year old panties wadded up in a bloody bunch in the corner of the loo?

Mary Carillo
Jan 22nd, 2005, 06:42 PM
Between Sally wishing she sounded like Bea Arthur, to Alfajeffsterís panty voyeurism, and Calimeroís sexual innuendo, I have had it!!

Iím not here to disentangle all your social gripes, Iím here to assist you in becoming a better tennis player. So if anybody has a tennis related issue - Iím listening!!

lindsayno1
Jan 22nd, 2005, 06:52 PM
oh my god my eyes popped out of my head when i saw this thread title!

soos n the sis
Jan 22nd, 2005, 07:08 PM
What's to misunderstand, your signature? your avatar? this sterile environment? the smell of your 16 year old panties wadded up in a bloody bunch in the corner of the loo?

it's the last one!! damn, you can sniff. now go fetch! come on doggy, let's go.
PPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTt

jazar
Jan 1st, 2007, 08:02 PM
advice and the rackets aren't the only kind of head, you know. and it was this other kind that i was thinking of when i read this threads title.