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PointBlank
Nov 14th, 2004, 06:28 PM
How do you feel about cutting your wrist or ankles?

Its a bad habit to get into

Bacardi
Nov 14th, 2004, 07:32 PM
I have a friend that does that. She says it releases tension. She'd come with cuts all over her arms, and carried around razor blades. Everytime something went wrong, that was her way of coping with it. She'd even carve things like "LIAR" or "USED" in her arm. I never understood it, but now she's in therapy and on medication and she's not cut for about 3 months now.

I tried it once, but I only cut a star on the inside of my wrist just for a dare. It nearly made me pass out.

Crazy Canuck
Nov 14th, 2004, 07:44 PM
It's a very unhealthy habit. People who do that generally do it as a coping mechanism.

It's also a misunderstood habit. People who don't aren't necessarily trying to kill themselves, as it might look to an outsider. They're - generally - taking emotional pain that they've numbed themselves to and making it physical so that they can cope with something.

And... that's why they need help.

Paldias
Nov 14th, 2004, 07:46 PM
Do you understand how sick this thread is. There is no reason or excuse that should even make you consider cutting yourself. This is digusting....

Bacardi
Nov 14th, 2004, 07:47 PM
My friend's therapist said it had something to do with the fact that when she cut it released endorphins that her body couldn't release on it's own like people without the problem. The doctor also told her she'd probably have an addiction to sex, as with her case the cutting released the same pleasure endorphins as sexual intercourse would.

My friend got help thou, she's on medication. And she's been deemed Bipolar also. I never thought she was trying to kill herself with the cutting, but I just hated to see her scar herself up over stupid things that would bother her and drive her to doing it. I'm happy she's been better for the past 3 months. I think her family is the happiest of all however. :)

If you do it Lonely, you might want to talk to a therapist. It probably means you've got a bit of a chemical imbalance.

Crazy Canuck
Nov 14th, 2004, 07:51 PM
Do you understand how sick this thread is. There is no reason or excuse that should even make you consider cutting yourself. This is digusting....

:retard:

Crazy Canuck
Nov 14th, 2004, 07:53 PM
My friend's therapist said it had something to do with the fact that when she cut it released endorphins that her body couldn't release on it's own like people without the problem. The doctor also told her she'd probably have an addiction to sex, as with her case the cutting released the same pleasure endorphins as sexual intercourse would.

That's interesting. I've never actually read about it, I was making my comments based on personal experiences. I had a lot of problems when I was much younger, like 12/13. I never really appreciated how "gross" the practice was, even after I had stopped, until I go to highschool and one of my friends (who also happened to be bulimic) pulled her shorts down to show me the scratches all over her upper legs while we were camping one night :sad: I was horrified!

Crazy Canuck
Nov 14th, 2004, 07:53 PM
True.

But my friend who used to cut her wrists all the time, did end up killing herself. I think it is a sign that suicide is possible.
I don't disagree. I'm sorry about your friend :sad:

Crazy Canuck
Nov 14th, 2004, 07:57 PM
It also leaves ghastly marks that people ask you about TEN YEARS later, when that is a part of your life that you would just as soon forget.

Bacardi
Nov 14th, 2004, 08:00 PM
That's interesting. I've never actually read about it, I was making my comments based on personal experiences. I had a lot of problems when I was much younger, like 12/13. I never really appreciated how "gross" the practice was, even after I had stopped, until I go to highschool and one of my friends (who also happened to be bulimic) pulled her shorts down to show me the scratches all over her upper legs while we were camping one night :sad: I was horrified!

I think we all have problems. It's natures way of making everyone different. But that's what the therapist told my friend her cutting stemmed from. I was the second person she told about it, but I never pushed her into getting help. As I know, the best way to drive someone away from getting help is to be pushy (from my drug abuse, I found that out). I simply told her to call me and talk about anything she wanted and I'd listen. Then finally she decided she was tired of all the scars and I helped her find a therapist. She also had a shoplifting problem, and got busted for stealing some things at Walmart... She's still going to court over it. But her therapist told them it had something to do with her manic personality coming out and she can't control what it wants to do. I dunno, a lot of people go to a shrink, and I wouldn't. But it has helped her to stop cutting up her arms.

And sometimes, I guess it can be a sign of suicidal tendencies. moschi I'm sorry about your friend. But a lot of times there is nothing anyone else can do, as we control our own destinies and some things can really set others off and push them to the edge.

Crazy Canuck
Nov 14th, 2004, 08:02 PM
I saw a shrink when I was in highschool, just for guidance and what not. It was helpful, I guess, since I'm okay now ;)

Crazy Canuck
Nov 14th, 2004, 08:06 PM
Shrinks made me worse in high school.

Becky, it's very strange seeing you admit weakness like this.
Admitting weakness makes you stronger ;) Besides, it was ten years ago. Wow, it really ten years ago. When did I get old?

Crazy Canuck
Nov 14th, 2004, 08:09 PM
Bipolar? I would have never guessed!

Bacardi
Nov 14th, 2004, 08:11 PM
The only time I spoke to a shrink was 3 years ago when I was in rehab and I went 3 times a week. Then I had to go once a week for 2 months after I got out of the treatment center. I don't think it helped me, but it didn't hurt me either. I mean I don't mind talking about my problem with other people because I think admitting it is the first step to recovery (now if I can just reach the other ones).

Right now I'm struggling, and the sad part is, I've basically struggled with drug abuse since I was 14 years old (it's been 10 almost 11 years now). Only this past year has it gotten worse, as I went on from snorting the stuff to actually injecting it. I know I probably need help, but I'm not so sure if I went and got it, and got out again I'd really give it up. I think it's going to take something to wake me up to stopping, but I keep thinking it's going to pass with age... althou I'm basically 25 now.

Crazy Canuck
Nov 14th, 2004, 08:13 PM
You shouldn't be sarcastic with a bipolar person. It's mean.
Eh, it's how I was raised! One of my siblings is bipolar and is the most sarcastic person ever.

Crazy Canuck
Nov 14th, 2004, 08:16 PM
Of course not.

I have to shower and study. I probably won't be in the mood to talk about this stuff later ;)

PointBlank
Nov 14th, 2004, 09:58 PM
By the way I dont..but like some people I did it once..and it was dumb and 2 years ago..I forget why

Snuffkin
Nov 15th, 2004, 12:04 AM
Do you understand how sick this thread is. There is no reason or excuse that should even make you consider cutting yourself. This is digusting....
There's also no excuse why anyone should post something so uncaring and blinkered. This thread isn't sick. It's querying an often misunderstood aspect of human coping mechanisms. Too often people choose to remain ignorant and not question the reasons behind things. People who cut are not merely 'cutters'. They are people with real feelings and often require professional help. Try seeing people beyond the act. Because when you're pushed, the human psyche has very different ways of coping. And only then do we learn our limits and capabilities.

It's not nasty, stupid or pathetic - it's what people do because they're hurting.

Dava
Nov 15th, 2004, 01:39 AM
In my experience people only do it for attention...its like a cry for help. Ive had friends do it and Ive told them to stop it. Some people granted only do it to try and be cool, cos certain artists glamourise it...but they usually just have pussy little cuts on their arms, which look like nothing more then a mere graze.

PointBlank
Nov 15th, 2004, 01:51 AM
There's also no excuse why anyone should post something so uncaring and blinkered. This thread isn't sick. It's querying an often misunderstood aspect of human coping mechanisms. Too often people choose to remain ignorant and not question the reasons behind things. People who cut are not merely 'cutters'. They are people with real feelings and often require professional help. Try seeing people beyond the act. Because when you're pushed, the human psyche has very different ways of coping. And only then do we learn our limits and capabilities.

It's not nasty, stupid or pathetic - it's what people do because they're hurting.
I like you. :)

nbaker53
Nov 15th, 2004, 02:00 AM
this is really weird? even if i were ever upset or angry i would never want to do something like that too myself...

CC
Nov 15th, 2004, 02:07 AM
In my experience people only do it for attention...its like a cry for help. Ive had friends do it and Ive told them to stop it. Some people granted only do it to try and be cool, cos certain artists glamourise it...but they usually just have pussy little cuts on their arms, which look like nothing more then a mere graze.When I first heard about this I was baffled. A paper cut reduces me to tears. Someone close to me was bleeding once and I nearly fainted at the sight of all that blood. Your natural instinct should be to protect yourself rather than doing harm, so I never really think of it as something people use to get attention. That would be too twisted. I think of cutters the same way I think of suicidals: it's just that they don't have a good coping mechanism when it comes to stress and pressure. Suicide is obviously more severe though.

Snuffkin
Nov 15th, 2004, 02:13 AM
In my experience people only do it for attention...its like a cry for help. Ive had friends do it and Ive told them to stop it. Some people granted only do it to try and be cool, cos certain artists glamourise it...but they usually just have pussy little cuts on their arms, which look like nothing more then a mere graze.
I won't doubt that some people do it to be part of a crowd, but as for discounting people who do it just for attention, surely this is worrying behaviour? I mean, if someone is prepared to go to such lengths just to get someone to notice them, then they are in need of help just the same as someone who does it without the intention of people finding out. And there are plenty of people who do it without wishing others to be aware. They're the people who cut in places unlikely to be seen by friends and they're very clever at excuses and ways to hide things. Perhaps it's just that those who do it for 'other' reasons tend not to make themselves public?

And nbaker, you may never WANT to do something like that, but that doesn't mean you never would.

nbaker53
Nov 15th, 2004, 02:14 AM
I won't doubt that some people do it to be part of a crowd, but as for discounting people who do it just for attention, surely this is worrying behaviour? I mean, if someone is prepared to go to such lengths just to get someone to notice them, then they are in need of help just the same as someone who does it without the intention of people finding out. And there are plenty of people who do it without wishing others to be aware. They're the people who cut in places unlikely to be seen by friends and they're very clever at excuses and ways to hide things. Perhaps it's just that those who do it for 'other' reasons tend not to make themselves public?

And nbaker, you may never WANT to do something like that, but that doesn't mean you never would.

but i mean obviously cutting yourself would hurt so i know i would never do that.

Snuffkin
Nov 15th, 2004, 02:19 AM
That's often the idea. Many people have argued that their reason for doing so was because the emotional pain they were in wasn't tangible and thus, they couldn't do anything about it. But making that pain physical, it gave them a sense of control. It allowed them to actually see it. And identify it.

And good for you if you know that your coping methods are sufficient to leave you firmly in control. It's something a lot of people would trade you for.

nbaker53
Nov 15th, 2004, 02:29 AM
That's often the idea. Many people have argued that their reason for doing so was because the emotional pain they were in wasn't tangible and thus, they couldn't do anything about it. But making that pain physical, it gave them a sense of control. It allowed them to actually see it. And identify it.

And good for you if you know that your coping methods are sufficient to leave you firmly in control. It's something a lot of people would trade you for.

i guess i'm just arrogant because this thread kind of scares me, i don't know how to describe it

PointBlank
Nov 15th, 2004, 02:41 AM
By the way I was watching Degrassi..and this issue came up

Crazy Canuck
Nov 15th, 2004, 03:35 AM
i guess i'm just arrogant because this thread kind of scares me, i don't know how to describe it
You're not necessarily arrogant.... you just don't understand. And you know what? You probably don't *want* to understand either. That doesn't make you a bad person.

Hachiko
Nov 15th, 2004, 06:24 AM
I hope some of you are bluffing about cutting yourself.

Crazy Canuck
Nov 15th, 2004, 07:10 AM
Yeah, because that would be a totally awesome thing to bluff about :retard:

Hachiko
Nov 15th, 2004, 08:58 AM
I wasnt meaning to be offensive.
I am really annoyed that you bad repped me for that too.

"Sluggy"
Nov 15th, 2004, 09:24 AM
You should try not to hurt yourselves, better to hurt someone else. i used to get pissed off at myself, mostly when my wife would call me a loser or something. So then, i volunteered at the lesbian clinic, like one of those martial arts centers, mostly for angry girls. well they dressed me up in tons of padding and stuff, and then i could yell at the girl, and say, "give me some pussy you stupid bitch", and then shed do karate chop me til i fell and begged for mercy... it was great. Now, I just go and play tennis when i have too much aggression, and i intend to get back into boxing. But dont cut yourselves, that cant be too healthY.

*abby*
Nov 15th, 2004, 09:26 AM
People who do that generally do it as a coping mechanism.

It's also a misunderstood habit. People who don't aren't necessarily trying to kill themselves, as it might look to an outsider. They're - generally - taking emotional pain that they've numbed themselves to and making it physical so that they can cope with something.

.

that is exactly it i have never been able to explain it before but that is it
not done it since may thanks to a good mate of mine

*abby*
Nov 15th, 2004, 09:27 AM
btw im not some freak who wants to kill myself
not everything can be seen in black and white!!!

Snuffkin
Nov 15th, 2004, 11:44 AM
Statistics tend to indicate it isn't related to suicide and suicidal tendencies. Indeed, in many cases, it's done to prevent someone from slipping so far down that they become suicidal. By cutting, people are able to cope for a bit longer and they are able to stay on top of things and so avoid feeling so low that suicide is an option. But this may be one of the most misunderstood aspects of self-harm - it's not a predictor for suicide attempts. Admittedly, it may not be isolated from suicidal tendencies, but it's the minority, more than the majority. Fact.

And abby, good luck in finding strength to stay strong.

King Aaron
Nov 15th, 2004, 03:47 PM
This thread is interesting to say the least. I've always thought that people who cut themselves are struggling with themselves inside. And I do sympathise with them, I feel like they should get help or I want to get help for them. I have thought about cutting, but nothing really major just how it would feel to cut yourself. Though I must say, one reason that made me think about cutting was how cool it looked. :o

*abby*
Nov 15th, 2004, 03:51 PM
i dnt understand why ppl think it is or looks cool :confused: :(
from someone who has been thru it i think that is so shallow (no reflection on u btw) but its like the struggles ppl who self harm have gone thru in order for them to resort to cutting themselves are being trivialised.

King Aaron
Nov 15th, 2004, 04:01 PM
I know it's shallow to think that but that's what I thought. In a way, it's like you're curious about it but you know it's painful and all but you think it looks cool. It is shallow but I don't mean anything bad by saying it you know? I feel that I have to say it, because other people might think the same but they don't dare to say it. But after reading the thread, I don't think I will ever try it willingly.

Kart
Nov 15th, 2004, 06:34 PM
But this may be one of the most misunderstood aspects of self-harm - it's not a predictor for suicide attempts. Admittedly, it may not be isolated from suicidal tendencies, but it's the minority, more than the majority. Fact.

I know that's true but I have a lot of difficulty reconciling it.

The times I've encountered someone who's taken an OD and wants to kill themselves most of them have had a few cuts on their wrists.

Of course that could just be because cutting is a lot more common that most people think.

Crazy Canuck
Nov 15th, 2004, 07:41 PM
I wasnt meaning to be offensive.
I am really annoyed that you bad repped me for that too.

I'd apologize for misunderstanding you, but you lost any respect by getting your "friends" to bad rep me in return :retard:

Snuffkin
Nov 15th, 2004, 08:08 PM
Kart, it is difficult to make sense of it. But, yes, as you're probably aware, the number of people who report with 'things' is always much lower than those that truly do it. I guess anything like this that is socially unnacceptable to a point, will be hidden. And that's often what makes it so difficult to treat - it's sometimes impossible to recognise. Not everyone will cut on visible parts of their body (thus blowing to shit the theory that people only do it for attention). I guess a lot of statistics have to be given allowances for the numbers of cases not reported. (I would go so far as to say that the true numbers are incredibly high and would shock many to discover the truth, but we'll never know for certain.) Most people don't admit to such behaviours. Partly because society dismisses it as wrong, bad, stupid and those who do it take on that characteristic.

And Aaron, I doubt people do it 'willingly'. Rather they're more likely to do it when they've run out of options and are hanging on by a thread. As I said before, when pushed, we find out what we're capable of and what we need to do to survive. And in many ways, cutting isn't self-destrucive - it's a way to survive. Sure, it sounds paradoxical, but in many cases it may be true.

Crazy Canuck
Nov 16th, 2004, 12:04 AM
My issues were ten years ago, but from what I remember, I never made a conscious decision to cut myself. It's not like I was sitting around one day thinking "wow... I have an AWESOME idea! Scars! That would totally ROCK, man". It just happened. I would get upset and not really know how to deal with it, so I would do that. Doing that allowed me to focus on something.... simpler. It was certainly not a healthy way to focus my energy, but it wasn't the worst way I could have gone about things either.

I honestly don't remember the last time that I did it... maybe grade 9. I started seeing a shrink then and that probably helped, because I finally had an outlet, a "safe place" so to speak. I remember getting upset a couple years later and recalling how I used to do that and wondering if it would help then... but I just couldn't bring myself to do it again. I had moved on and had other ways to deal with my pain then (mainly, I learned to deal with the emotions themselves, which was easier since I was more mature).

I'm not sure if that rant will help anybody who is still confused about this whole thing, but I tried ;)

BritneySpearsIsHot
Nov 16th, 2004, 12:36 AM
I used too when down.

It's a way of coping.................now i have no need too, i've come out the other side

WorldWar24
Nov 16th, 2004, 12:47 AM
This board is useful to talk about such things, that most people would never talk about in real life :) I had no idea it was so common.
1 May I ask what troubles in your lives led you to feel down, to the point that you had to find this way too ease the pain?
2 And to those who stopped doing that, what was the turning point?
3 Did you have different ways to deal with the pain other than this? Bacardi talked about drugs... what else? :wavey:

BritneySpearsIsHot
Nov 16th, 2004, 12:52 AM
This board is useful to talk about such things, that most people would never talk about in real life :) I had no idea it was so common.
1 May I ask what troubles in your lives led you to feel down, to the point that you had to find this way too ease the pain?
2 And to those who stopped doing that, what was the turning point?
3 Did you have different ways to deal with the pain other than this? Bacardi talked about drugs... what else? :wavey:
1. My daughter and partner dying

2. Meeting my sisters for the first time. I had not known about them until June and they are all 18-26 years old, they now live in England with me having moved from Czech Republic as i am half Czech. I have also a new ladyfriend in the last 3 weeks........i adore them all and even like my step mum alot too :) and i know my partner who died would aprove of My new partner :)

3. Nothing........

WorldWar24
Nov 16th, 2004, 01:02 AM
1. My daughter and partner dying

2. Meeting my sisters for the first time. I had not known about them until June and they are all 18-26 years old, they now live in England with me having moved from Czech Republic as i am half Czech. I have also a new ladyfriend in the last 3 weeks........i adore them all and even like my step mum alot too :) and i know my partner who died would aprove of My new partner :)

3. Nothing........

oh my :sobbing:

I'm happy to see that you turned your life around, good luck in the future

BritneySpearsIsHot
Nov 16th, 2004, 01:20 AM
oh my :sobbing:

I'm happy to see that you turned your life around, good luck in the future
:yeah:

King Aaron
Nov 16th, 2004, 05:12 PM
And Aaron, I doubt people do it 'willingly'. Rather they're more likely to do it when they've run out of options and are hanging on by a thread. As I said before, when pushed, we find out what we're capable of and what we need to do to survive. And in many ways, cutting isn't self-destrucive - it's a way to survive. Sure, it sounds paradoxical, but in many cases it may be true.
I know, what I meant was I wouldn't just cut myself for the sake of it or anything like "...cutting yourself looks cool, I'm going to try it...". I have thought about it (being cool) but have not seriously considered it at all. As long as I have control over what I'm doing I won't try it. It's different if let's say certain events or things pushes me to the edge and I feel distressed and find the only way of coping is to cut myself. I would say that is when you can't think properly anymore and thus have no control. Hence the 'willingly'.

Becca, reading this thread has made me understand why people would cut themselves and that it isn't because of looking cool or being bored. I guess your rants do work. ;)

Snuffkin
Nov 16th, 2004, 09:28 PM
That's the truly positive side to a place like this. As much as at times it can be full of hate and trash, it also has the potential to have a very positive impact. While this thread's been active, I've been wondering if there's just one person reading this who is struggling with things and maybe have cut in the past. I guess there's part of me hoping it's helped on some level. Well done to all contributors if it has.

Crazy Canuck
Nov 16th, 2004, 10:19 PM
This board is useful to talk about such things, that most people would never talk about in real life :) I had no idea it was so common.
1 May I ask what troubles in your lives led you to feel down, to the point that you had to find this way too ease the pain?
2 And to those who stopped doing that, what was the turning point?
3 Did you have different ways to deal with the pain other than this? Bacardi talked about drugs... what else? :wavey:

1) I'm not going to get into it in great detail, because there was so much going on, but there were a *lot* of problems at home. I have great relationships with and love my family members these days, but back then we couldn't be in the same room without ripping each other to shreds. There was some physical abuse, but it was primarily emotional. A lot of times I was scared to go home. I tried very hard to keep my life with friends as "normal" as possible, but it was tremendously difficult to keep those worlds separate, considering how little I thought of myself at the time.

2) Honestly, I don't really remember. It might have been seeing the psychiatrist (essentially, I walked down to guidance at school once day and asked "help", and they recommended that). I think that I realized I couldn't keep my two worlds (home and friends) separate anymore, and I had to deal with the home stuff or it was going to ruin everything else. My friends were tired of my bitching, they could never understand why I always felt like they didn't like me...they cared, but my problems weren't something that they could deal with. I think it was a combination of all of those things. I should point out that I'm not the only one in my family who had emotional problems - it's not like me going to a psychiatrist was frowned upon. Despite all the crap that was going on, my parents were supportive of the idea (although somehow, my mother couldn't understand why i needed to go :rolleyes: )

It also might have been seeing my friends legs after she admitted to doing the same thing. I had been having a good few months, personally, then. I had thrown myself into a bunch of extracurriculars and was being very physically active with rowing, biking, and coaching. A year later she almost ended up killing herself by ODing. Thankfully, she survived and is a very good friend of mine. In a way, I think that helped me. I mean, it finally sort of hit what I had been doing to myself and that there were really only two ways to go... keeping getting better, or go in the direction that she went.

3) I haven't ever had any substance abuse problems. Maybe spending a few years of my life around alcoholics turned me off the idea? I don't know why for sure, but I never really went that route. I don't even drink very much now - I just don't really enjoy it, and I don't like drunk people very much. When I was angry I would have full out temper tantrums sometimes... punch walls and what not. I cried a lot.

It's hard to put myself back in that place and remember how it felt, because it was SO long ago, and I'm just a totally different person now. I can't even imaging acting like that now. I'm appalled with the way that I used to talk to my family members and disgusted at how I used to treat myself. It's a part of my life that I sometimes *want* to forget, but I know that I must not ever do that. Those years are what made me who I am now, in many ways.

I dunno if that helps, but it's all I've got ;)

Kelly
Nov 16th, 2004, 11:06 PM
this is a really deep thread....its alot easier to talk to people you dont know and tye it down rather than have to explain it to their faces and see their expressions...the look of disgust on there face etc.

1-trouble at home and school...i just felt worthless and felt that if i wasnt around the world and nobody would care or miss me...always having people telling me i was a failure,useless and i would never achieve anything..this was my dad....who also beat me and use to put his cigarettes out on me...but all my scars are mental. i find it very hard to trust people as i have always been let down.

2- never got any help..professionally...just use to talk to someone i worked with...but like everyone else they left and never kept in touch so im back to having no one. turning point....never had one. i dont see my dad...dont know where he lives or anything the last time i saw him was when he told me my grandad was dead...littrelly just turned up and said it so coldly. im pretty much tee total now and only drink socially....i still have a bad temper but i go to a gym now which helps.

3-i never did drugs or cut my self....my way of deaing with it was to drink and i use to beat the crap out a wall near our house....i once hit it that hard i broke my fingers and actually cracked teh bricks.

i mean recently i have been feeling really low again but u just gotta roll with it i guess.

kes
Nov 17th, 2004, 01:29 AM
You should try not to hurt yourselves, better to hurt someone else.
Sorry Froggy - but maybe you could have worded this a little better! ;)

:retard:

(coincidentally - now i am off to play tennis!!) :D