This is my very first post here so I hope you don't mind me burdening you with my problems but I'd love some good advice. The thing is, I'm just finishing my second year at uni but I'm really not looking foward to next year and I think I'll be really unhappy. At the moment I live in a house with 4 other lads and I'm really hating it. For months everyone has been slagging each other off and it's just got too much and we're going our separate ways next year. I'm pleased I don't have to live with 3 of them next year, but I'm really gonna miss one of them. He's the only one I can trust and he's the same with me and he's my best friend. But he already signed to live somewhere else a long time ago cos it had all got too much so that means I can't live with him next year. I've tried looking round other houses but I just get more upset thinking about living without him. I don't know whether I should carry on looking or transfer to a uni closer to home. I know it probably sounds really stupid but I wouldn't even have lasted this year without him. If anyone knows what I should do I'd love to hear from you cos I've got no idea at all.
Thanks for listening ;)
Mar 14th, 2002, 07:57 PM
Did you discuss this with him? Does he know what you just told us?
Mar 14th, 2002, 08:03 PM
Yeah, but the thing is he told me he was moving out totally out of the blue, and he had given me the impression that we were gonna look for somewhere together. At the time I was upset and came out with all kinds of stuff, that he was selfish and that I'd never do the same to him. We're even closer now though so it's making it all the more difficult.
Mar 14th, 2002, 08:18 PM
is there anyway he can get out of the contract (is there one?) and move somewhere with you?
Mar 14th, 2002, 08:20 PM
It sounds like there's a lot more to this relationship than just flatmates, which could explain some of your feelings and some of the conflicts you two have had over the living arrangement.
If you two have become really close, can't you still be close without living together?
Mar 14th, 2002, 08:20 PM
hmmmm...well, it seems to me it's up to him, really... So if he's not willingly to find a solution for you guys to live together, there's nothing really you can do.
I can't give you any advice I'm afraid, but I do believe he's the one who can prevent you being seperated...you did everything you could by telling him what bothered you...it's maybe harsh to say, but I think you are suffering more from it than he is, otherwise he wouldn't move out, right?
Or is it only the contract that keeps him from staying together with you?
Mar 14th, 2002, 08:29 PM
tfannis - you're right I am suffering more cos he's got somewhere to live with people he gets on with and I don't! He was lucky to get offered somewhere but I didn't cos no-one else I know has a spare room going. It's a done deal that he's going but my main problem is whether I should stay at a place I'm not happy in or go back home. And they say uni's the best years of your life!
Mar 14th, 2002, 08:39 PM
Ah...so you're saying you've only got two options, right? Going back home or stay at a place you're not happy...well, in that case you should do, this sounds very cliché, I know, what's best for you. What will you do with you're life when you're back home, or what can you do with you're life if you'd stay at the unhappy-place...I don't know you, so there's nothing I would recomment...
I'm in my first year of uni. I'm in a studenthome where I didn't know anybody in a city where I'd never been before...I love it here now, allthough I wasn't very happy at the beginning (Oct 2001)...maybe you would manage to do the same...