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Fingon
Mar 11th, 2002, 05:40 AM
If You Want To Work, Get A Job!
A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked for all the Money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

I Can't Afford My Own Car...
An Illinois man pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts...

Not the Sharpest Knife in the Drawer!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. Hmmm...wonder what he uses for a knife?

Have I Got a Deal for You!
More than 600 people in Italy wanted to ride in a spaceship badly enough to pay $10,000 a piece for the first tourist flight to Mars. According to the Italian police, the would-be space travelers were told to spend their "next vacation on Mars, amid the splendors of ruined temples and painted deserts. Ride a Martian camel from oasis to oasis and enjoy the incredible Martian sunsets. Explore mysterious canals and marvel at the views. Trips to the moon also available." Authorities believe that the con men running this scam made off with over six million dollars...

And These Nitwits Are Teaching Our Children?!!
A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under his elementary school's drug policy last week - for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump higher." And a student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for giving a classmate a cough drop. School principal Forest Mann reiterated the school's "zero-tolerance" policy...not to be confused with the "zero-intelligence" policy...

Some Days, It Just Doesn't Pay to Gnaw Through the Straps...
Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last year, " said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system..."

moby
Mar 11th, 2002, 07:02 AM
omg @ these people

LOL :D

Nikki
Mar 11th, 2002, 08:12 AM
Lol:)

AjdeNate!
Mar 11th, 2002, 08:15 AM
...Americans at their best... :)

Monica_Rules
Mar 11th, 2002, 09:54 AM
LMAO!:D

Sam L
Mar 11th, 2002, 10:34 AM
:o LOL!

gentenaire
Mar 11th, 2002, 01:32 PM
teehee:o