Monica: Did you know that it only takes 3 hours of waiting in line and 25$ to get the electrical blueprint of this building?
Rachel: Ohhh, if only more people knew...
Monica: Do you love her?
Ross: We said it was only going to be two weeks, y'know?
Monica: You love her!
Ross: What-what is love really?
Monica: Ohhh, I knew you loved her! Then you need to go to the airport and tell her. You're probably just gonna catch her just as she's about to go to the gate. You're gonna call out her name and say, "I love you!" And she's gonna say, "I love you, too!" And you guys are going to have the most amazing kiss, everyone at the gate will applaud.
Ross: I am a good kisser.
Monica: Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in... (Ross looks at her.) I've been watching too much porn.
Aug 2nd, 2003, 12:26 PM
Ross: You guys, Emily just called, she's seeing another guy...
Monica: Aww sweety, are you OK?
Monica: Wait! Of course there's another guy! That makes it even better!
Chandler: Monica, let's drop it, it's over.
Monica: YOU'RE OVER!!!
Chandler: Err, what?
Monica: YOU KNOW!
Aug 2nd, 2003, 12:34 PM
Chandler: So I'm not, not gonna lose her?
Rachel: Oooh, honey, you're not a total loser.
Chandler: I said, 'So I'm not gonna lose her?'
Aug 2nd, 2003, 12:40 PM
The Saleslady: May I help you ladies?
Monica: Oh, yes, umm, I'm here to pick up a dress that you have on hold.
The Saleslady: Yes, what's the name, please?
Monica: Emily Waltham.
The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham?
Monica: (laughs) Okay.
Aug 2nd, 2003, 12:43 PM
Rachel: Yeah! (She sits down) Sit!
Joshua: (sitting) You okay?
Rachel: I'm more than okay, I am really, really happy! Wanna know why?
Joshua: Do I?
Rachel: 'Cause I am really happy about us. I think we are, I think we are so on the right track! Y'know? I mean, I think we are working, I think we are clicking. Y'know?
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, y'know if-if there was just like one little area where I -- that I think we need -- we would need to work on; I-I would think it was we're just not crazy enough!
Joshua: I-I gotta say, I-I-I-I'm not too sure I agree with that.
Rachel: Well, yeah, right, y'know what? Yeah, you're right, I mean, we no, we have our fun. Yeah! But if (Grunts uncomprehensively) ......I mean, I mean like craaaazy! Y'know? Okay, all right. This is gonna, this is gonna sound y'know, a little umm, hasty, but uh, just go with it. Umm. Ugh. What if we got married?
Aug 2nd, 2003, 01:20 PM
Amy (Rachel's sister) :Oh my God. Is this Emmet?
Rachel: Err, Emma.
Amy: It's a girl?
Monica: So welcome. Is this the first time you're seeing Emma?
Amy (to Phoebe): Yeah. I think so. It's nice to meet you Emma.
Amy: Oh, that's a funny noise.
Amy: But I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not a really big fan of Emily.
Amy (to Phoebe): Emma, Ross wants you.
Amy: Why does she keep making that noise?
Aug 2nd, 2003, 01:28 PM
justin13 - I was gonna say the exact same one!! That was soooo funny!!!
Aug 2nd, 2003, 01:59 PM
Phoebe-Hey i see Pizza oh and hes with a woman
Monica-Tell me its his mother
Phoebe-Definately not hig mother.She walking,shes walking hye shes going for the pizza HEY THATS NOT FOR YOU BITCH!
Phoebe-hey Rachel do you wanna go to the coffee house?
Rachel- Yeah ok
Chandler -I'll go too
Phoebe- Oh good
Rachel and Chandler walk out of the door
Phoebe - Oh i changed my mind(shuts the door)
Monica-Hey i wanted to fire him first you can dump him afterwards.
Phoebe-Yeah your right...... sgrew you i'm going first!
Aug 2nd, 2003, 02:01 PM
Oh just thought of another
Rachel-Why wont she stop crying?Anyway i'm going to the bathroom.
Pheobe-And i'm going to scream into a pillow.
Monica sings to the baby and she stops crying
Phoebe-Have i gone deaf!
Aug 2nd, 2003, 02:03 PM
Rachel-Ok i'm going for a run,hey why don't you come too?
Pheobe-Yeah ok that'll be fun.Hang on a minute.
His its Phoebe and Rachels please leave a message(into answering machine)
Rachel-Hey you just took all the words
Phobe-Thats right.You've met your match Rachel greene
Aug 2nd, 2003, 02:33 PM
Smelly cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you
Smelly cat, Smel-ly cat
It's not your fault
Aug 2nd, 2003, 03:52 PM
Phoebe: Oh I've tasted my own medicine and it is bitter!
Aug 2nd, 2003, 04:13 PM
Phoebe to Monica and Rachel: if we were in prison, you two would be my bitches!
Ross and Monica's dad: you know, that Steffi Graf's got quite a tush!
Aug 2nd, 2003, 05:02 PM
Pfff, all of you have a weird sense of humor.
Aug 2nd, 2003, 05:04 PM
Phoebe: Oh yeah, no-no-no. I'm fine. I'm okay, but umm, my Grandma sorta died.
Joey: Pheebs! Sorry!
Phoebe: It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.
Rachel: Well maybe, maybe she's with us right now?
Phoebe: Yeah, her first day on a new spiritual plane and she's gonna come to the coffeehouse!
Monica: (entering, in a hurry) Guys! Guys! I just saw two people having sex in a car right outside.
Ross: Uhh, Pheebs' Grandmother just died.
Monica: Ohh my God, I'm so sorry.
Phoebe: It's okay. Actually y'know what, it's kinda cool. 'Cause it's like y'know, one life ends and another begins.
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it.
Aug 2nd, 2003, 05:11 PM
Scene: Monica, Fun Bobby, and Phoebe sitting in Central Perk Rachel is serving them. She brings a mug to Monica.
Monica: Rach, does this have nonfat milk?
Rachel: Ehhhummmm, I don't know, why don't you taste it.
Monica: (takes a sip) Mmmm, no.
Rachel: Oh well, too late, sorry, you already had some.
Aug 2nd, 2003, 05:13 PM
Phoebe: Hey Rach, what time do you get off? We're all gonna do something tonight.
Rachel: Yeah... I, uhh... I have a... I have a date.
Joey: With a man?
Aug 2nd, 2003, 05:15 PM
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Listen, Phoebs, this is gonna be OK. (introducing Russ and Ross) Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.
Russ: Are you a, uh, friend of Rachel's?
Ross: Yes, yes I am. Are you a, uh, a friend of Rachel's?
Russ: Actually, I'm a... kind of a.... you know, a... date-type... thing... of Rachel's.
Ross: A date.
Russ: Yeah, I'm her date.
Ross: Oh, oh, you're... uh... you're, oh you're the date.
Chandler: You know, this is actually good, because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare.
Russ: Oh, you are the, uh... paleontologist.
Ross: Yes, yes I am. And you are a....
Monica: See? They're as different as night and... later that night.
Aug 2nd, 2003, 05:18 PM
(Phoebe and Rachel are at the counter talking.)
Phoebe: You don't see it? You actually don't see it?
Phoebe: OK honey, you're dating Ross.
Rachel: No, Phoebs. I'm dating Russ.
Phoebe: Russ is Ross. Russ... Ross!
Rachel: Steve... sleeve!
Phoebe: OK, noone is named Sleeve.
Aug 3rd, 2003, 05:26 PM
The one in the Barbados:
David and Chandler are at the Central Perk. David is worried because Phoebe has just called him Mike (her ex's name) and he wants to ask Chandler some advice:
David: Why did Phoebe and Mike break up?
Chandler: Errr because his penis was too big. (After a second he laughs nervously and says): Ah, I'm sorry, that's the kind of things I do.
Aug 3rd, 2003, 05:54 PM
well, let me think.....its the one where reese witherspoon comes as rachel's sister and is dating ross, much to rachel's irritation.(not too sure of the lines)
reese: i have a date with ross tonight...how do i look?
rachel:that dress makes you look like a whore.
rachel:well...i'm a whore!
ross:i ross, take thee rachel...
rachel(to the woman behind her):he said rachel right?
Aug 3rd, 2003, 06:58 PM
The one where Monica is dating Tom Selleck's son:
MONICA: Fine, fine, judge me all you want to. But (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer (points to Joey) threw a woman's leg in a fire (points at Chandler, who's inside a box), live in a box!
Aug 4th, 2003, 12:11 AM
There's so many that have me rolling on the floor.
Aug 4th, 2003, 10:02 AM
They are all watching an old high-school tape where Monica was really fat ...
MONICA: Shut up, the camera adds 10 pounds!
CHANDLER: So how many cameras are actually on you?
Aug 4th, 2003, 10:12 AM
Phoebe: Oh right, ok um. Ok so its not just the lie you tell. but its the
way you tell it. . For example if you look down at the ground when you're
talking, people know you're lying.
Joey: Oh.. I don't know why this is so hard for me. you know.. I mean lying
is basically just acting and I am a terrfic actor.
Phoebe looks down: You are a terrific actor.
Aug 4th, 2003, 10:14 AM
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
Aug 4th, 2003, 10:21 AM
When Phoebe is having her brother baby
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You’re gonna have a baby! They’re gonna have a baby!
Frank: MY SISTER’S GONNA HAVE MY BABY!!!!!!!
Aug 4th, 2003, 10:24 AM
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Aug 4th, 2003, 10:26 AM
Rachel: (to Joey) Coffee. (Hands it to him.)
Joey: Thank you.
Rachel: (to Ross) Cappuccino. (Hands it to him.)
Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.)
Rachel: Oh! That's why. (Rachel checks behind her ear, and finds a cinamon stick.) I'm sorry!
(She takes the pencil out of Monica's coffee
Aug 4th, 2003, 10:28 AM
Joey: Hey Rach listen, did you know that during pregnancy your fingers swell up to twice their size and never go back.
Rachel: (looking at her fingers) Oh my…God! Let me see that! (Grabs the book from him.)
Joey: (laughing) You fall for it every time!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: I brought you my old maternity clothes! (Sets a bag on the counter.)
Rachel: Oh Pheebs that’s so sweet—(Grabs a pair of pants)—Ooh, those are so cute!
Phoebe: Yeah! And look, (Grabs the pants) see how they expand as the baby grows? (There’s a stretchy part in front.) And then after the baby’s born, they’re great for shoplifting melons.
Aug 4th, 2003, 10:30 AM
Ross: Hey! So what's the big news you had us rush all the way over here for?
Chandler: Okay, our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa , so as of Monday I'm being officially relocated.
Ross: Oh my God!
Joey: How long do you have to go for?
Chandler: They said it could be up to a year.
Joey: A year?!
Rachel: (To Monica) Do you have to go?
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.
Aug 4th, 2003, 10:32 AM
Monica: Hey Hon, could you help me get the plates down?
Chandler: Yeah. Hey, here's an idea, why don't we use our wedding china
Monica: No, I think we should save our china for something really special.
Like if the Queen of England comes over.
Chandler: Honey, she keeps canceling on us, take the hint.
Monica: What if something gets broken, they're so expensive.
Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them?
Monica: Ok, but if something gets broken, and then the Queen comes over..
Chandler: I will explain it to her.
Monica: <laughs> Oh yeah, like I'm going to let you talk to the queen.
Aug 4th, 2003, 11:37 AM
Season number # 5, 8 th episode
" I' m discustting, I' m Joey "
Later in the episode :
" I' m discustting, I' m Monica "
This " episode " is probably one of the best of the show :) :D :) :D ;) !!!!!
Aug 4th, 2003, 02:49 PM
it was the episode about Ross and Rachel being "on a break" and its the big fight and he's leaving and she screams after him something like
"Just so you its not that common... it doesn't happen to every guy and it IS a big deal"