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Cam'ron Giles
Aug 1st, 2003, 03:58 PM
So, I am throwing this party for a friend of mine tomorrow. The problem is that I was just going over the guest list (someone else was in charge of this) and I saw a name (confirmed to attend) that shocked me...

See, the buddy I am throwing the party for has a HUGE crush on this person for a long time now...but I dont think the guy is interested...One night me and my friend were hanging out and we ran into this guy at a party...my buddy introduced us and we all started just hanging out at the party...My buddy had to leave cause he had class the next morning...Right after my friend left, the guy asked me if I would feel funny about giving him my number...I asked him..."are you interested in my friend and he said "not really"...I must admit...this person is HOOOOOTTTT... :drool: :drool: :drool: I had seen him before and was like whoaaaaaaaaa....so we hung out for the rest of the night and ended up going to breakfast the next morning...and I made him dinner at my place after that...I stopped seeing him cause I just felt bad...Now here is his number confirmed to attend...I cant just not go cause I am hosting the party...HOW SHOULD I ACT???? Should I just come clean to my friend b4 the party????? :confused: :sad:

Cam'ron Giles
Aug 1st, 2003, 05:04 PM
Anyone????

Dava
Aug 1st, 2003, 05:09 PM
Your under no obligation to your friend, if this person is interested in you then... theres nothing you can do. You can laugh it off in front of your friend. They would be jelous of you, but they would not be mad.

decemberlove
Aug 1st, 2003, 05:16 PM
tell your friend what happened. if you slept with him id leave that lil detail out. no need to rub it in or anything. im sure your friend will be hurt, but atleast you stopped talking to him cos you felt bad. he should understand.

or, you can just talk to the guy and ask him not to say anything, and tell your friend after the party, so you wont ruin the mood or anything

Cam'ron Giles
Aug 1st, 2003, 05:29 PM
tell your friend what happened. if you slept with him id leave that lil detail out. no need to rub it in or anything. im sure your friend will be hurt, but atleast you stopped talking to him cos you felt bad. he should understand.

or, you can just talk to the guy and ask him not to say anything, and tell your friend after the party, so you wont ruin the mood or anything


Thanks Dava...D, I was thinking about calling dude and tell him to just keep quite cause I did stop...and he was not interested in my friend anyway...DID I SAY THAT HE IS HOOOOOTTTTT.... :hearts:

Dava
Aug 1st, 2003, 05:30 PM
Yes you did. Look your friend will find someone else, but you might never have a chance like this.

Cam'ron Giles
Aug 1st, 2003, 05:34 PM
Yes you did. Look your friend will find someone else, but you might never have a chance like this.


No, you know what the problem is...It's like whenever we are out and we both see someone cute...the person always steps to me to the extent that I would move away so he would not see...my boy is very attractive but we have pretty much the same taste and he is kinda shy and I am not so I will put out the energy more and people can pick up on that... :tape:

doloresc
Aug 1st, 2003, 05:43 PM
tell your friend what happened. if you slept with him id leave that lil detail out. no need to rub it in or anything. im sure your friend will be hurt, but atleast you stopped talking to him cos you felt bad. he should understand.

or, you can just talk to the guy and ask him not to say anything, and tell your friend after the party, so you wont ruin the mood or anything

sound advice. i would opt for the former because it's what i would do in your shoes but the latter works if you don't have the heart to do the former.

topshotta, i'm sorry to nitpick but could you please fix your thread's title. it should be adviCe. :o thank you!

Mrs. Peel
Aug 1st, 2003, 05:43 PM
You should come clean if you really value this person...he doesn't deserve to sit deluded and pining when his good friend has already slept with his objet du desir...it's just not fair. Waiting and "keeping quiet" only postpones the inevitable.

Give him the gift of a free mind so he can move on an pursue someone who likes him...


I wouldn't want to have my friend get that rush and excitement upon seeing this person when all he really has is a heart full of false hopes.. :sad: :sad:

Mrs. Peel
Aug 1st, 2003, 05:46 PM
tell your friend what happened. if you slept with him id leave that lil detail out. no need to rub it in or anything. im sure your friend will be hurt, but atleast you stopped talking to him cos you felt bad. he should understand.

or, you can just talk to the guy and ask him not to say anything, and tell your friend after the party, so you wont ruin the mood or anything


Sound advice indeed....but don't you think the friend is going to ask anyway?

Cam'ron Giles
Aug 1st, 2003, 06:12 PM
Sound advice indeed....but don't you think the friend is going to ask anyway?


Yes...and I will be honest at that point...I just feel like such a jerk... :sad:

doloresc
Aug 1st, 2003, 06:19 PM
You should come clean if you really value this person...he doesn't deserve to sit deluded and pining when his good friend has already slept with his objet du desir...it's just not fair. Waiting and "keeping quiet" only postpones the inevitable.

Give him the gift of a free mind so he can move on an pursue someone who likes him...

I wouldn't want to have my friend get that rush and excitement upon seeing this person when all he really has is a heart full of false hopes.. :sad: :sad:

i agree. topshotta should come clean. my only concern, and only topshotta knows the answer to this question, is that if the friend who's in the dark is a believer in that "unwritten" rule of friendship where whichever friend makes first dibs on a person, gets that person. if this friend believes in that rule then he/she might be very upset to find out that topshotta did not abide by their pact.

Mrs. Peel
Aug 1st, 2003, 06:21 PM
Yes...and I will be honest at that point...I just feel like such a jerk... :sad:


Be strong :kiss:

decemberlove
Aug 1st, 2003, 06:21 PM
why woudl your friend ask if you were with the guy?

doloresc
Aug 1st, 2003, 06:22 PM
Yes...and I will be honest at that point...I just feel like such a jerk... :sad:

and you should but you'll learn from it. besides you're young and this is just another one of life's lessons. you may even find yourself in your friend's position one day. don't beat yourself up, if that is the case. just remember that lust is temporary; friendship can possibly be forever. god bless you!

Cam'ron Giles
Aug 1st, 2003, 06:24 PM
i agree. topshotta should come clean. my only concern, and only topshotta knows the answer to this question, is that if the friend who's in the dark is a believer in that "unwritten" rule of friendship where whichever friend makes first dibs on a person, gets that person. if this friend believes in that rule then he/she might be very upset to find out that topshotta did not abide by their pact.


You know that's kind of like a gray area for me and my friends...I think that the only understanding that we have is if one of us dated someone seriously then that person is OFF LIMITS. My concern is that my friend has been so into this person for sometime so that my change the equation. We have seen guys that we all have commented on and one of will call everyone the next day and say something like "guess who I met"...and thats that...

Mrs. Peel
Aug 1st, 2003, 06:25 PM
i agree. topshotta should come clean. my only concern, and only topshotta knows the answer to this question, is that if the friend who's in the dark is a believer in that "unwritten" rule of friendship where whichever friend makes first dibs on a person, gets that person. if this friend believes in that rule then he/she might be very upset to find out that topshotta did not abide by their pact.


:awww: I thought about this too. But I know it will all be alright though :angel:

doloresc
Aug 1st, 2003, 06:36 PM
You know that's kind of like a gray area for me and my friends...I think that the only understanding that we have is if one of us dated someone seriously then that person is OFF LIMITS. My concern is that my friend has been so into this person for sometime so that my change the equation. We have seen guys that we all have commented on and one of will call everyone the next day and say something like "guess who I met"...and thats that...

i understand. an important lesson here for your friend who's in the dark to learn is that there will be occasions where the object of his affection will not reciprocate his feelings and the objectee may even have romantic interest in one of his friends. it's a hard pill to swallow but one that ultimately makes us stronger and wiser.

good luck, topshotta!

Cam'ron Giles
Aug 1st, 2003, 06:38 PM
i understand. an important lesson here for your friend who's in the dark to learn is that there will be occasions where the object of his affection will not reciprocate his feelings and the objectee may even have romantic interest in one of his friends. it's a hard pill to swallow but one that ultimately makes us stronger and wiser.

good luck, topshotta!
:kiss:

doloresc
Aug 1st, 2003, 06:39 PM
why woudl your friend ask if you were with the guy?

when/if topshotta reveals that the objectee had asked for topshotta's number, i think it's inevitable that curiousity will get the best of the friend that's in the dark. it's only natural that he would be inquisitive and ask, "well, did you give him your number?" a further set of questions would most likely ensue from there.

decemberlove
Aug 1st, 2003, 06:43 PM
when/if topshotta reveals that the objectee had asked for topshotta's number, i think it's inevitable that curiousity will get the best of the friend that's in the dark. it's only natural that he would be inquisitive and ask, "well, did you give him your number?" a further set of questions would most likely ensue from there.

ahhh ok, i thought yawl meant before top said anything. i was confused as to why he would ask out of the blue, thanks :)

Cam'ron Giles
Aug 2nd, 2003, 01:29 AM
Thanks everyone...:kiss:

~ The Leopard ~
Aug 2nd, 2003, 09:38 AM
Just be honest. It's the best way with these things. You probably should have mentioned it before, but it's not too late to be honest now.

Mind you, why is asking for phone numbers such a big deal? People ask others for their phone numbers all the time without necessarily wanting to have a sexual relationship. All it necessarily means is that you liked the person and want to stay in contact.

Anyhow that's not relevant here. As I said, just be honest.