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View Full Version : Lockerroom Confrontation Wimbledon 2003


DA FOREHAND
Jun 11th, 2003, 06:15 PM
Venus enters the lockerroom, and as usual she's the first to arrive, she goes to her locker stores her equipment, then starts to redecorate. Happy with the rooms new looks she sets up her sewing machine. She's startled when Capriati comes in and falls over the ottoman she's placed three feet from the door.

Capriati:) WTF! What kind of dumbass would put this ...um like you know big ass sofa cushion thingy that close to the door! I almost spilled my fucking drink!

Venus:) Sorry Jenn, I wanted to give the room some Feng Shui.
Jenn:) WTF are you talking about, there are no Chinese players in the draw this year, besides, wouldn't he be in the mens draw?

Venus:) PHew
Jenn) You still gonna do me that favor, Fila refused
Venus) I got you. Venus stares her down....Jenn blinks first.

In walk justine and Kim, justine releases Kim's hand.

justine:) You're on your own now, I may need this hand(practices hand raise) she still has on the shoes from the French and gracefully slides past the ottoman, but crashes when she slides into the BBQ sauce Jenn spilled earlier.

justine:) ALLEZ! Kim rushes over helps her up and whispers in her ear
Kim:) That won't work here no "Franch" crowd to rile up.
Kim:) Hello Jenn, Venus
Jenn:)Fuck off Ms Gigglesworth!
Venus) Smiles at kim, glares at justine.

In walks Serena w/a bag from Harrod's, followed closely by Martina carrying her eight other bags.
Serena:) Look who I found smoking pot and shoplifting, so I put her to work.

Justine:) Raises her hand then points at Jenn, um Serena Jenn's already here.
Jenn:) Starts sobbing, I thought we agreed to stop bringing up my past. Serena rushes to her side and begins to sob too.
Serena:) She raised her hand! She raised her hand!

The door keeps opening and closing, but nobody enters. Serena looks up from the sobfest, then dashes to hide behind Venus, thinking it may be her stalker.
Justine:) Raises her hand "Calm down everybody it's probably Hantu" she walks over to the door and swings it open. Hantu, falls in backwards exhuasted from her exertion.

Hantu:)Thanks juju, there were some crazed fans out there they kept calling me Karen! Karen! karen! sing us a song! What does this mean?
Venus:) Laughs out loud, the others look puzzled.

In walks Mary, eating a ham sandwhich all smiles.
Mary:) Wow I was just walking the grounds and they look lovely this year!
Jenn:) More like grazing, you fucking cow sit down you're blocking Venus' light, and she's letting out my outfits.
Serena:) Yeah if you shared that sandwhich with Hantu, you'd both be better off.
Justine:) My trainer....
Serena:) Raises hand "Talk to the hand before I come over there and smack that cold sore off your lip!"

Glenn
Jun 11th, 2003, 06:28 PM
No offense, but that sucked really bad.

shap_half
Jun 11th, 2003, 06:31 PM
It truly was corny on several different levels.

Glenn
Jun 11th, 2003, 07:20 PM
It truly was corny on several different levels.
Not only that, but the jokes were like so overused.
I think I'd rate this abomination an F-.
Still... no offense DA_FOREHAND! :)

WhatTheDeuce
Jun 11th, 2003, 07:20 PM
it was okay

Glenn
Jun 11th, 2003, 07:21 PM
Okay, but still too ugly to even think about posting it.

Hendouble
Jun 11th, 2003, 07:35 PM
Yes indeed, in the entire pantheon of locker-room confrontation threads, in automotive terms this is more of a Ford Escort than a Rolls-Royce. You see, there needs to be more narrative skill involved in the construction, a build-up, rather than a few tired cliches about players. Still, "Ms Gigglesworth" raised a smile.

Trish101
Jun 11th, 2003, 07:54 PM
continue...

Jenn sits on the couch eating her bbq sauce:i might as well ...WTF is this shit? wait a minute it says...m-a-d-e in E-n-g-l-a-n-d??? where the fuck is england??? i thought we were in the uk?

Venus looks at Jennifer in disbilief: Hun this is England...

Jenn: but...

Serena: shut the fuck up and just eat youre fucking bbq sauce bitch ENGLAND...HA! dum heffer

Jenn sits up ready to rumble: listen Jemima dont get me started

Serena: yeah yeah shove it fila

Justine :Allez! vous arete oouiii you doo that ?? jusss stopp fiyyyting ok?

Jenn gets up all casual and all and extends her arm to serena...a jesture of peace: sorry Rena my bad

Serewna: its k...group hug!!!

Jenn: i said i was sorry butt thats it!

Jenn then goes to leave but Vee stops her in her tracks...jenns outfits are done

Vee: here jen vee says as she hands them out to Jenn....there arer two outfits...one is a cow eating grass on the field

Jenn: the first one looks a lot like Mary....lol wait it is!

and the secound outfit has a man with a shovel in his hand...
Jenn: why a shovel vee? odd isnt it?

Vee: thats no shovel thats Hantu....good huh?

Jenn: uuugh yessss very good...better than Fila thats for sure

Serena: ytou can leave now jenn....oh and try and win your first match i want to squash you in the semis...three sets ok?

Jen: ill try!

Knizzle
Jun 11th, 2003, 09:46 PM
Sorry DA_FOREHAND, but I would tend to agree that this isn't as funny as previous Lockerroom Confrontations.

Trish101
Jun 11th, 2003, 10:12 PM
nice try Da_forhand...cnt be perfect 100% of the time...but i wouldnt say it was BAD...just a lil on the brown side (LOL)no offnse or anything!

slydevil6142
Jun 11th, 2003, 10:29 PM
Umm it was ok though i must say the hanctu comments were freakin funny

SerenasMelons
Jun 11th, 2003, 11:48 PM
lol the "Karen" reference was funny

Doc
Jun 11th, 2003, 11:56 PM
The "Karen" thing was a bit off.

But I liked the rest! :)

theheninfan
Jun 12th, 2003, 12:32 AM
Well I give all props to DA FOREHAND! They did a much better job than I could have done! Atleast it was an attempt. :)

kell
Jun 12th, 2003, 02:11 AM
At least Da Forehand gave it a go! I wouldn't have the creativity to even make an attempt.

Trish101
Jun 12th, 2003, 02:16 AM
Jen: you all suck at writing threads...im not fat and im totally like sick of this crap...im going to McDonalds!

Andy_
Jun 12th, 2003, 08:28 AM
Come on guys, this new chapter from the lockerroom wasn't that bad, though probably we've had some nicer one... Maybe when action starts again on court it's gonna be easier to come up with something new...
Thanks to those who write these funny bits, they give the board a good reason to laugh! :cool:

*abby*
Jun 12th, 2003, 08:29 AM
Jen: you all suck at writing threads...im not fat and im totally like sick of this crap...im going to McDonalds!

how can u diis ur supposed fave like that and btw i wudnt ever attempt writing a locker room confrontation again if i was u cos that sucked serious ass.im in a really bad modd dont diss jenny and dont get in my way!!!!!!! :fiery:

Jordan.
Jun 12th, 2003, 08:33 AM
No one can compare to cynicole's Locker Room Confrontation...

DA FOREHAND
Jun 12th, 2003, 03:22 PM
Lol

kyk710
Jun 12th, 2003, 05:26 PM
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!..................... ..........................HAHAHAHA...........ha... . Oh, no one else is laughing. Well I thought it was funny :)

DA FOREHAND
Jun 12th, 2003, 05:28 PM
It was too dark for some...oh well....what part made you chuckle?

barmaid
Jun 12th, 2003, 07:20 PM
Da Forehand, Pretty funny..I liked "Jenn: "You're blocking Venus' light she's letting out one of my outfits"! :)

And the "cold sore" reference was a little personal but this is just a fantasy thread but Justine always seemed to have one :lick:

barmaid :wavey:

DA FOREHAND
Jun 12th, 2003, 07:52 PM
thanks

Helen Lawson
Jun 12th, 2003, 07:55 PM
Neely and I have had ladies room confrontations that are far nastier.

CapFan#1
Jun 12th, 2003, 08:01 PM
The Karen reference was fucking brilliant!!

WELL DONE DA FOREHAND!

DA FOREHAND
Jun 12th, 2003, 08:06 PM
;-)

DA FOREHAND
Jun 16th, 2003, 06:31 PM
Thank you Cappy4ever

DA FOREHAND
Jun 19th, 2003, 02:47 PM
bump