Internet Optimisers. Do they actually work or are they a myth, like the Unicorn.

When I state Unicorn I don't mean the darts manufacturer.

I often see these things that say "DOWNLOAD THIS AND YOUR INTERNET WILL BE OPTIMISED BY 300%" and so forth.

I checked one out and I found it made some minute difference but not enough to make me get the ladder out and go singing Chesney Hawkes "I am the one and only" on the rooftops in my pyjamas.

Are there any that actually make downloads and crap faster on yer normal 56k modem

(and if anyone says "get cable" or "get broadband" I'll personally hire someone to remove your toes and replace them with drawing pins)

Yes but Joey unicorns are real. Haven't you seen Harry Potter? :confused:

Lucky I read your sentence, cause I was about to do just that. LOL

unicorns DID exist. hmph!

...stop being so cheap and get broadband

your toes are in for a pinnin'...

I can't get broadband cos I plan to move soon and become a student (although it seems like there is every force out against me to stop doing so) and I don't wanna be tied to a 12 month contract for a service I probably won't be able to afford. I'm lucky to have the bloody net on a dial-up for starters.

downloadmanagers can help because they often try to find more resources to download from.

I don't know if they help that much..I have broadband ;)

I used to have a dial-up modem. In 1996 I think. Fortunately, there wasn't as much useless crap to download at that time.

Most of them (if not all) are bollocks. Your bandwidth is determined by your ISP when you dial up, and that's pretty much the end of it. The other things that can affect your connection speed are your modems drivers - make sure you have the most up-to-date ones you can get - and the gain on the phone line. If you're getting a slow connection, like 36kpbs on a 56k modem, you can ask BT (or whoever) to turn up the gain. Although I did that, and it didn't make that much difference.