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View Full Version : News from TNT: After losing Wimbledon, the commentators will be given their own show!


Asmus
Apr 14th, 2003, 11:15 PM
In fact, the first show has already aired. It's called "Tennis Talk with Marv, Mary, Martina and Jim" starring, obviously, Marv Albert, Mary Carillo, Martina Navratilova and Jim Courier.

Here's a transcript from the first episode:

Marv: Hello, and welcome to Tennis Talk with Marv, Mary, Martina and Jim. I'm Marv Albert. Even though we will no longer be broadcasting Wimbledon, you can still see us every Monday at 6.

Mary: Jeez, Marv, I'm actually pretty pissed. I'm really going to miss commentating those matches. We sure had some great ones over the years.

Martina: No kidding! At least I already have a job lined up for that time!

Mary: That's true, congratulations on winning that tournament in Florida last week.

Martina: Thank you, Mary. And how about that Ashley Harkleroad, who I lost to in doubles in Charleston. She's definitely a good American up-and-comer.

Jim: Anyways, I think that's enough about the women's game. It's because we aired too much women's tennis that we lost the Wimbledon coverage, you know. But how about that Andy Roddick. He lost today in Monte Carlo, but he is definitely one of the hottest players on tour. I was lucky enough to be spending a lot of time in the locker room during the Miami tournament and this one day he comes out of the shower room and--

Martina: Please, Jim, spare me the details! Most of the people here don't like men!

Mary: Tell it to me later, Jim.

Jim (very flustered): Are you implying something, Martina? Um--well--um--Andy Roddick is the next great American player. He lost today but he'll win Roland Garros. Mary, what do you think?

Mary: Andy's definitely got what I like to call spunky serviness. His serve is great, and he's so charismatic on the court that he's, well, spunky.

Marv: Mary, you certainly have a good way of putting that to words.

Mary: Thank you, Marv, and you know I enjoy your commentating as well. It has a lot of bite to it.

Marv: Oh, um, thank you Mary.

(Awkward pause)

Martina: Well, Serena lost to Justine Henin yesterday. It just goes to show that Serena is still beatable and she will lose again this year. She'll never break my record of 86-1, so I guess you could say I'm pretty happy that she lost!

Jim: And also, in men's tennis last week, Nikolay Davydenko won his first title--

Martina: Jim, who cares? Nothing important happened in men's tennis last week. Serena lost in a Tier I final. That's more important.

Mary: Oh, break it up, you two.

Marv: Anyways, that's about all the time we have. I hope you'll join us next week for Tennis Talk with Marv, Mary, Martina and Jim. Good night!

CJ07
Apr 14th, 2003, 11:18 PM
I wonder if those commentators will switch over to ESPN?

Hendouble
Apr 14th, 2003, 11:19 PM
Ooh yeah, that's good satire!

Asmus
Apr 14th, 2003, 11:21 PM
I think Mary might be commentating for ESPN, but none of the others will. I'd really miss them if it weren't for their new show. ;)

SerenaSlam
Apr 14th, 2003, 11:29 PM
Mary Carillo better be on muthafuckin fucked up ESPN, they should hire her before Mary Jo or Pam, she is above all others, the best commentator out there!

Asmus
Apr 15th, 2003, 02:30 AM
Agreed. Will Mary Joe still be on maternity leave? Will she ever come back?

Steam
Apr 15th, 2003, 02:36 AM
Am I mistaken or didn't Jim do the Oz for ESPN? So why wouldn't he do Wimby? Am I out of the loop that much?

I sure as hell hope he's there. I would miss my little dutch boy too much. HE'S HOT!

Nan Cu
Apr 15th, 2003, 03:02 AM
Can't believe TNT lost Wimbledon. Now I have to endure the "ticker" channel for the third straight Grand Slam event. Sigh, thank god for USA.

c2
Apr 15th, 2003, 03:30 AM
;) to asmus

1jackson2001
Apr 15th, 2003, 05:17 AM
'twas the gathering of the funny lil elves ;)