View Full Version : In This Thread, I post some more jokes that are old and crap

Car Key Boi
Dec 1st, 2002, 01:20 AM
The attorney general wishes to find out which law enforcement agency is the best in the country. He does some preliminary work and narrows it down to the FBI, the CIA, and the Los Angelos Police Dept.

So, he invites representatives from each to a field test. So, they all end up in a clearing in a forest. The attorney general pulls this white rabbit out of a bag and lets it loose into the woods. He turns to the guys from the FBI, the CIA, and the LAPD, and says, "Gentlemen, this is your test. The first group to successfully capture the rabbit will win the competition.

So anyway, a few hours go by and finally the team from the FBI emerges from the woods.

"Well", says the A.G, "what did you find?". The FBI team is obviously empty handed and begins to explain how they forensicly studied every leaf, twig, and animal fiber in the forest and were able to scientificly determine that the rabbit was not in the forest.

"Bullshit!", exclaims the A.G., "You couldn't find the rabbit. Get lost."

So, a few minutes later, the CIA team emerges from the woods, also empty handed. "Well", says the A.G, "what did you find?". The CIA team proceeds to explain that through their extensive and covert methods, they were able to find the rabbit, however, instead of capturing him, they decided to turn him into a double agent, release him and put him on the CIA payroll.

"Bullshit!", exclaims the A.G., "You couldn't find the rabbit. Get lost."

Then, without warning, the group of cops from the LAPD emerge from the woods beating the crap out of this one brown bear. I mean, they are wailing on him with knightsticks and kicking him in the gut - it's really bad. The A.G has no idea what to make of this, and finally, the LAPD cops and the brown bear (whose really taking a beating) get close enough for him to hear what's going on.



Dec 1st, 2002, 01:22 AM
Most things you post are old and crap though aren't they? Why do we need another thread about it? :o


Car Key Boi
Dec 1st, 2002, 04:52 PM
Brian and Lori go out to a top class restaurant to celebrate his new job.

They get the menu and it's soon time to order.

"Tacos" says Brian

"I'm very sorry sir," The waiter explains "We don't have any tacos tonight. Perhaps another choice?"

"Tacos" says Brian

"Sir, please, we do not have any tacos available tonight, this is a restaurent, not Taco Bell" the waiter says. At this point the waiter was becoming upset.

"Tacos" says Brian again.

Exasperated, the waiter takes a menu and points to the salmon
"Sir, please point to the 'l' in salmon"

Brian does so

"Now, Sir, please point to the 's' in Sirloin"

Brian does so

"Now point to the 'F' in tacos"

"But," says Brian, "there is no F in tacos"

"at last..." the waiter mutters

Car Key Boi
Dec 1st, 2002, 04:58 PM
A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some Polish Sausage."

The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?"

The clerk says, "Well, no."

With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish just because I ask for Polish Sausage?"

The clerk replies, "Because this is Home Depot"

Car Key Boi
Dec 1st, 2002, 09:49 PM
An 80-year old man was having his annual check-up and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day, he went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried. Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No." The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!" "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor. :D

Car Key Boi
Dec 1st, 2002, 10:02 PM
Two Priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on it.

He turns to the other Priest and says, "I believe yuo're supposed to put that patch on yuor arm or shoulder, not yuor penis."

The other one replies, "It's working just fine. I'm down to 2 butts a day :D