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View Full Version : How flexible are your opinions when coming to a forum? Psychological discussion


Leo St
Jun 6th, 2012, 10:11 PM
Analysing the behavior of tennis fans for some time, i, who am no one to judge anyone, just to state, been noticing that people dont take the forum for its real use which is to debate, expose your thoughts and see things from different perspective to enrich their view by absorving what others have to say.

for me, even when i cant get to agree with what someone else has to say about something (not just when it comes to tennis of course), im still intrigued to listen to them and to imagine how did they reach that particular conclusion.. after all, our ideas are a product of the ambient that we live in and the experiences that we've been through, and as each human being is unique, and a particular treasure in its deepful complex mind, follow each one's path of logic should only enrich our culture.

on the other hand i feel that the oposite quite often happens here as people come with a built prospective of things and tend to become agressive when someone defies their truth, which of course will hapen quite often.. it seems people come with the will to convince, rather than to breath new ideas.. i for once never saw someone say "i see your point, and with the way you put it made me see things i didnt before"

discuss that and make, if you want, a self analysis of your mindset when you come to a forum

Sammo
Jun 6th, 2012, 10:19 PM
I wish I could but I've just finished my 'University Access Exams' and I'm about to explode

Tomorrow I'm gonna have fun
http://files.sharenator.com/jimmyelmo_ITS_A_GIF_PARTY-s480x270-142843-580.gif

Leo St
Jun 7th, 2012, 04:44 AM
fail thread.. someone please post the hug smile

Cajka
Jun 7th, 2012, 04:47 AM
on the other hand i feel that the oposite quite often happens here as people come with a built prospective of things and tend to become agressive when someone defies their truth, which of course will hapen quite often.. it seems people come with the will to convince, rather than to breath new ideas.. i for once never saw someone say "i see your point, and with the way you put it made me see things i didnt before"


In most of the discussions on this forum (peak vs peak, is player A overrated or overhyped, was player B bitchy in the interview) the opinions are impossible to prove to be right or wrong and nobody will admit that someone else is right especially if it's something negative about their faves. In other discussions (about the ranking system, the quality of the field etc.) the best thing you can expect is that someone will meet you halfway. People on forums don't like admitting that they were wrong, they will go on insisting on their opinions even if it's about the basic things (the speed of surface for example, there are people who will insist on their opinion that some surface is slow even if all the players confirm that it plays fast).

That being said, I'm no much better than the rest of members. I can admit that I was wrong or that I changed my mind, but I don't do it very often. I usually do it when it's obvious that my opinion was ridiculous. In other situations - not so much. I guess that we all like to think that we know what we're talking about, even tough sometimes after years and years of following the sport, it happens that we overlook some things or that we have a wrong idea about something. But you are right, it's the wrong approach, the quality of the discussions would be much better if we could admit that we managed to see things differently after someone "defied our truths". We should be more flexible, even tennis commentators, journalists, coaches are often wrong. We're just fans.

Dominic
Jun 7th, 2012, 05:16 AM
fail thread.. someone please post the hug smile

I think you are 100% right! Ppl do tend to get very agressive on this forum, including me :sobbing: But I'm trying to get better and be nicer and more open minded to opinions!!

Maddox
Jun 7th, 2012, 06:19 AM
Leost :wavey: Where is my pm? Still waiting

You are absolutely right about different opinions, things get very ugly fast when someone raises a different opinion and NO ONE ever admits to being wrong.
I also agree that it would be awesome if we could also learn about different opinions instead of the same old trolling.

Leo St
Jun 7th, 2012, 07:19 AM
thanks maddy, cajka and dominic, awesome answers!

my point with this thread was my insatisfaction with the self centered ways of the human nature in general.. damn you twenties, they make me think and question everything

urho1952
Jun 7th, 2012, 08:47 AM
I can admit thathttp://www.interbankforex.info/kv.gif

ranfurly
Jun 7th, 2012, 09:44 AM
Analysing the behavior of tennis fans for some time, i, who am no one to judge anyone, just to state, been noticing that people dont take the forum for its real use which is to debate, expose your thoughts and see things from different perspective to enrich their view by absorving what others have to say.

for me, even when i cant get to agree with what someone else has to say about something (not just when it comes to tennis of course), im still intrigued to listen to them and to imagine how did they reach that particular conclusion.. after all, our ideas are a product of the ambient that we live in and the experiences that we've been through, and as each human being is unique, and a particular treasure in its deepful complex mind, follow each one's path of logic should only enrich our culture.

on the other hand i feel that the oposite quite often happens here as people come with a built prospective of things and tend to become agressive when someone defies their truth, which of course will hapen quite often.. it seems people come with the will to convince, rather than to breath new ideas.. i for once never saw someone say "i see your point, and with the way you put it made me see things i didnt before"

discuss that and make, if you want, a self analysis of your mindset when you come to a forum

The trick is to treat it like a forum, not a second home.

If you come on here trying to change the way someone thinks, you're going to get shafted, likely if you have a different opinion, you're going to get shafted, 8/10 times.

I find that I get a few instant messages from time to time in regards to stuff I have said, and it's great, It feels alot more personable.

People have to save face on a forum, they will justify one thing to the bitter end, until the troll phase comes up, then it's just shits and giggles.

It's much easier too argue and exonerate on an inconspicuous forum then what it is in real life, the people here who act in total douchebaggery are probably actually cool cats out in the open.

Trick is to take everyone with a grain of salt, I come here on the illusion that what people say don't necessacarily mean, and what people do, don't necessarily do.

A good example is a thread a while back where about half a dozen posters from "ivy league" schools were arguing, chances are if you're from an ivy league, and wanking on a forum about how great you are, you're probably full of shit.

At the end of the day, another trick is not to give a rats about anyone on here, you're all a candle to my fart, you ignite a small flame, but you flicker out soon enough.

Better Living everybody!

The Witch-king
Jun 7th, 2012, 10:21 AM
Analysing the behavior of tennis fans for some time, i, who am no one to judge anyone, just to state, been noticing that people dont take the forum for its real use which is to debate, expose your thoughts and see things from different perspective to enrich their view by absorving what others have to say.

for me, even when i cant get to agree with what someone else has to say about something (not just when it comes to tennis of course), im still intrigued to listen to them and to imagine how did they reach that particular conclusion.. after all, our ideas are a product of the ambient that we live in and the experiences that we've been through, and as each human being is unique, and a particular treasure in its deepful complex mind, follow each one's path of logic should only enrich our culture.

on the other hand i feel that the oposite quite often happens here as people come with a built prospective of things and tend to become agressive when someone defies their truth, which of course will hapen quite often.. it seems people come with the will to convince, rather than to breath new ideas.. i for once never saw someone say "i see your point, and with the way you put it made me see things i didnt before"

discuss that and make, if you want, a self analysis of your mindset when you come to a forum
Me neither.

I've noticed that a lot of 'discussions' consist of people praising each other for posting opinions similiar to their own (like how we're doing with you);
or going round in circles trying to prove (and embarrass, really) the other person is stupid, lacks 'reading comprehension skills', is ignorant etc., because the other person has a differing opinion. Smilies like :facepalm: get thrown around a lot too.

To answer the question, my opinions are fairly flexible. Occasionally I'll read something that changes my point of view but I rarely acknowledge it. But I also don't like reading through threads with the above qualities so I won't bother half the time.

debby
Jun 7th, 2012, 12:26 PM
Ohhh interesting thread !

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m584ztnzs11r2yxb6o1_400.gif

for you Leo, you who wanted one ! :D :hug:

I am going to try to analyse my own opinions in a few categories :

1/ Tennis
2/ Non-tennis
a) Political opinions
b) Society debates
c) Entertainment such as TV shows, movies, etc...

Yes it changes, depending of the category for obvious reasons.

TENNIS
Soooo, I am a Henin stan, a Murray fan and I like Azarenka a lot.

In Henin related threads, I love to debate because I am a stan :lol: and I want to be right and to prove others especially her haters wrong. Very childish I know, but I think that's how a lot feel on GM :lol: . And funnily enough, when we are talking about the hand, even if I know it's cheating, I am still refusing it and I consider this as lying, not really cheating. I try to be right, I don't care if others might make a valid point ! It's quite pathetic really. But the most frustrating is when we disagree on purely tennis and results like "noooo she is so winningggg" "oh god, you don't know anything about tennis it's ridic" "oh god stfu she is not that good" "she is a choker" etc etc.

I care less about Murray and even much less about Vika, so I am more flexible about what others say about them, and admit that indeed they might be right. I can admit Murray can be indeed very boring on the court, and a prick, like in the Gasquet match (and I dislike him !).

OTOH, when I am talking with a Sharapova fan/stan who is trying to convince me that she is awesome, the best player ever, I am just cackling because I don't see it at all. I can't be convinced, it's my own opinion. But since tennis is less of a big deal for me, I care less and less about Sharapova winning RG.

It truly depends of your investment in the game and for players IMO. But I have always been opinionatd even in my own fanbase, with fellow Justine stans. I have even ended up being perma banned from her official forum :lol: the point here is that when you have strong opinions because you care deeply about a sport of a player, it's very hard to change them or to be accommodating.

NON TENNIS

---> Political opinions : Ok so, it's totally different. Again I am opinionated, so when I am trying to discuss politics with republicans or pro-Sarkozy/pro-Marine Le Pen from France, it's sterile tbh. I am losing my time, but sometimes I am doing that because stupidely enough I am hoping to change their opinions, to make them realize they are wrong. Yes, I think I am right to think that or this, it's not good I know. :lol: Whatever.
For instance, if we have a debate about totally cutting welfare to get rid of people who gets them and don't work at all, that would shock me because IMO that's a minority and there are a lot of people who struggle in life. I can't stand reading they are lazy or something because they are poor.
So yes, it's like proving my principles. That applies to forums as well as IRL except that in life, I suddenly feel the urge to slap the other so I gtfo. :lol: :lol:

--> Entertainement stuff : I am super flexible, because it's not a big deal, it's supposed to be relaxing, I like to discuss it with other people, and most of times, I don't have big arguments. :shrug: I can have my own opinions, not depending on others to like any movie, any actor... but I can change them if for instance, they make me see the movie in a different way. Like the message the movie sends or I don't know.... The context, etc... It's really interesting debates, and usually calm. I don't remember any huge argument related to this in Non-Tennis of Tennisforum.

--> Society stuff : This is my favourite type of debates.
So, no one will ever change my strongest opinions = my own principles. I will never change my opinion about racism, homophobia, bashing different people, etc..... but my opinions about stuff related to these principles can change. I am naturally curious about the world, about everyone who is surrounding me.
I remember this thread about genes and DNA and colour of skin. It offended a few people when I didn't mean it, maybe I didn't express well my opinion,or it was not clear enough. Making generalization can be ignorant and/or dangerous.
So while I am giving my opiion, I sometimes ask questions so I would learn more stuff and maybe change a few opinions. Le Bon Vivant is involved in these kind of debates, he managed to make me change my opinion by stating a few facts I have not thought about.



And maybe I am doing the same for others... So it's really nice, I think it's the purpose of forums well, mine at least.
Some are coming on forums just to check news on a daily basis, others come to talk to fellow fans or to haterZZ or to talk about random subjects because we wanna talk. I can explain why I love debates, but I am actually wondering why the heck I debate more on forums than IRL? :lol: maybe because it's easier to speak our mind and to defend our opinions without hurting anyone?

stromatolite
Jun 7th, 2012, 12:44 PM
Hope this thread stays active for a while, because I don't really have time to respond properly now, but I like the topic. No short answer really, it varies from thread to thread, and probably should. No problem if people are a bit stubborn about supporting their fave I think, but good to keep an open mind on players you don't know or like too much.

My biggest bugbear is how much people allow their love of their faves or dislike of hated players interfere with how they approach debates on more serious issues like gamesmanship, or the recent debate about the hindrance rule. A few posters are able to put their personal prejudices aside, but most can't, which results in a nonsensical discussion of a serious topic.

Ellen Dawson
Jun 7th, 2012, 03:01 PM
Whether it's TF or some other msgbd or FB or Twitter, I do enjoy reading what peeps have to say, whether I agree with their opinions or not. The most intriguing facet of online interaction IMO is that I wonder how we all manage to lead productive live when so much of it is spent on the internet! :lol: I would NOT be surprised if we interacted more w/ peeps by mobile/laptop than in person AND that we preferred it that way!!! :o

McPie
Jun 7th, 2012, 04:07 PM
there are many players that I don't like but I do not wish to criticize or "blame" them because I don't like them actually, coz I found it boring to attack with

still, I'm too tired to deal with 'haters' when they criticize my favourites actually, I just try to be in the middle of every post in here






except non-tennis and nonsense stuff :p

Stamp Paid
Jun 8th, 2012, 02:01 AM
I think its more likely in Non-Tennis. Me and Debby (and many other posters like papa, etc.) have actually had some interesting discussions where I have learned from her perspective, and I hope she learned from mine. You just have to know which posters are full of shit, and which posters you can actually have an open conversation with. Pick and choose who you engage with when it comes to this to save yourself some frustration.

GM is an irrational place, so I don't even look to it as a place for genuine dialogue. :lol:

Cajka
Jun 8th, 2012, 02:12 AM
I think its more likely in Non-Tennis. Me and Debby (and many other posters like papa, etc.) have actually had some interesting discussions where I have learned from her perspective, and I hope she learned from mine.

In that famous genetics discussion, I had an impression that you made more valid points than Debby. I must admit that I'm an ignorant, but your points made more sense to me as an ignorant. But, what impressed me is that you and Debby had some really polite discussion about it, while some other posters were insulting Debby while not making any valid point. That's the main problem. If you try to defy someone's truth by insulting them, it won't work. And people on this board like proving their truths by insulting those who disagree.

debby
Jun 8th, 2012, 10:11 AM
I think its more likely in Non-Tennis. Me and Debby (and many other posters like papa, etc.) have actually had some interesting discussions where I have learned from her perspective, and I hope she learned from mine. You just have to know which posters are full of shit, and which posters you can actually have an open conversation with. Pick and choose who you engage with when it comes to this to save yourself some frustration.

GM is an irrational place, so I don't even look to it as a place for genuine dialogue. :lol:

Awwww :angel: :worship: We should talk more in Non-tennis ! We didn't invade enough threads ! Just kidding. :lol:

Yeah, in GM, it's just impossible. Like I said, the more you stan someone, the more obstuse/close-minded you become. And GM is full of stans :lol:

In that famous genetics discussion, I had an impression that you made more valid points than Debby. I must admit that I'm an ignorant, but your points made more sense to me as an ignorant. But, what impressed me is that you and Debby had some really polite discussion about it, while some other posters were insulting Debby while not making any valid point. That's the main problem. If you try to defy someone's truth by insulting them, it won't work. And people on this board like proving their truths by insulting those who disagree.

:lol: Well it was a debate between antropologia and sciences. :p So you had two different POV but not necessarily polarizing, which made the debate truly enjoyable because I learned a lot from his POV while he might have admitted that it's easier to be black in Africa than in Europe on 1000 years from on :lol: (Captain logic), but that was much more complex.

Actually, I was genuinely intrigued by this debate, because I knew I needed to have more knowledge on the subject, so my top priority was not to be proved right over the others but to learn from this. When I absolutely want to be proven right, it's in politics when I am talking with republicans or Sarkozy stans. :lol: :lol: :lol:

So in that case, it's easier to insult others and to be frustrated at them !

I am glad you were interested by this debate and learned from this, even if it was not from me ! :lol: :p