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Car Key Boi
Nov 21st, 2002, 01:40 PM
So I thought I would tell you a funny story about what happened tonight. I
had my astronomy class tonight, that was fairly interesting. I finally
managed to harangue Nick enough to lend me some money earlier before I left
for class. So I stopped at the walmart, got some coca-cola which I can't
live without; a family size bag of tater puffs and some ketchup. So now
there's gonna be something to eat, I'm feeling alright about life, and I'm
on my way home to make a powerpoint presentation for tomorrow. So I pull up
in the driveway, all the lights are off and the front porch light is off.
I'm walking up to the door and all of a sudden I notice Nick is sitting in a
chair on the porch. I yell out "shit!!" and nearly do the same because he's
lurking all creepy-like in the dark. I nearly dropped my tater puffs. So,
I'm like, what the HELL are you doing over there? Fucking weirdo. He says he
was worried about me because of the weather. Hardy har. He decided he'd
catch me doing something, or just wanted to scare the bejesus out of me. So
then, I'm like, OK, we're not going to have words about this because plainly
I'm not dealing with a normal person. So, like a chickenshit, I go, "want
some tater puffs?" I must've looked ridiculous. So, I'm going to the living
room to turn on the tube and get started on some stuff, and I sit down on
the sofa for a minute. Andy Griffith is on. I'm taking a deep breath, trying
to normalize myself, and in creeps Mr. creepy again. "Are you coming to bed
tonight?" he says, all pissy-like. I never do, so, where's this question
coming from? Plus I've been telling him how much stuff I have to get done
for school. So, I'm like, no, why did you think I would? I'm trying really
hard to be nice so I don't bring the shit raining down from the fan. He's
all pouty, acting like he doesn't understand why I'm being this way.
Finally, we get into a dispute about it and I ask why all of a sudden he
gives a rat's ass about me. He does this whole "well I'm sorry I care so
much" routine. Which is ludicrous, and I'm sure as an objective bystander
you realize why this is ludicrous. I start feeling really bad because crazy
people have feelings too and I really don't want to make him sad. But I
don't want to encourage his shit either. So I say that i don't want to hurt
his feelings but I can't fathom why he all of a sudden cares about what
happens to me. Really, it's that bizarre. He puts on this Christ on the
cross act, telling me not to worry about him and his problems. "I'd like
to", I says, "but you make it impossible for me to do so when you act all
weird like this." The worst part is, I had decided to color my hair tonight;
so I'm in the shower a long time and the lights keep going out from the
storm. I keep expecting him to appear in the bathroom with a giant knife,
rip the curtain aside and start stabbing me or something. God, what a wacko.