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View Full Version : How do you perform an exorcism?


Stark
Oct 16th, 2011, 11:00 AM
One of my roomates has been acting very weird over the last few days and a lot of my friends have come to the conclusion that she might be possessed by a demonic spirit. She wakes up every night around 2-ish, goes into the living room and sits on the couch in pitch darkness not doing anything, often she will say things to herself that don't make sense and point at laugh at random objects. At first I thought that it was just a reaction to certain substances of hallucinogenic variety that we've been doing, however I've had no such reaction. I went to the local church and asked the priest if he could look into performing an exorcism for us but he dismissed it. I'm honestly scared shitless, I've been looking in tutorials on doing exorcism online but a lot of them appear to be fake and shams. Does anyone know of a resource on exorsism or better yet is anyone related to or knows a priest willing to perform an exorcism. If you are in the southern ontario region that would be great, I don't have a lot of money but we can come up with a couple hundred dollars for your efforts, if they are not available to come here in person I would still appreciate any tips and tricks on performing a successful exorcism

Bismarck.
Oct 16th, 2011, 11:01 AM
:hysteric: Your threads are epic. Never stop posting.

Petkorazzi
Oct 16th, 2011, 11:19 AM
^ IFKR!!! :hysteric:

Otlichno
Oct 16th, 2011, 03:01 PM
Wasn't there a similar thread to this, about a ghost or something? :scratch: I don't remember that thread too well, but it had me in stitches. :lol:

Ellery
Oct 16th, 2011, 03:12 PM
Ghost rape? :unsure:

Tripp
Oct 16th, 2011, 03:19 PM
Just bring me a bottle of blessed 7UP, a Marilyn Manson CD and leave the rest up to me :armed:

Kart
Oct 16th, 2011, 03:23 PM
Here you go:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsX1gn5ptnU&feature=related

Watch to the end.

Hurley
Oct 16th, 2011, 04:26 PM
His wasn't a permaban? :sad:

Fighterpova
Oct 16th, 2011, 05:10 PM
Epic :hysteric::rolls:

delicatecutter
Oct 16th, 2011, 05:14 PM
Maybe you should find somewhere else to live? :shrug:

Otlichno
Oct 16th, 2011, 05:18 PM
Ghost rape? :unsure:

Yas! Thank you! :kiss:

Mistress of Evil
Oct 16th, 2011, 05:18 PM
Duh, you just hit up bad-ass witch Prue !

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpo9t5C64A1qebj6ko1_500.gif

Direwolf
Oct 16th, 2011, 06:28 PM
The Demons actually comes out at 2am...
not 12 unlike most people think

miffedmax
Oct 16th, 2011, 06:36 PM
Print out a few dozen of these pictures and paste them where your roommate will see them:

http://www.peoples.ru/sport/tennis/dementieva/dementieva_-5.jpg

You, your apartment and your roommate will be blessed byMommy Vera and THE HOLY BANGS.

Barrie_Dude
Oct 16th, 2011, 07:00 PM
Living in Southern Ontario can make someone insane

ico4498
Oct 16th, 2011, 11:11 PM
rent 'The Exorcist' do what this guy does.

http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsM/12042-5888.gif

downside? he dies. upside? you'll save yourself a few hundred bucks.

Pump-it-UP
Oct 17th, 2011, 02:11 AM
:haha:

miffedmax
Oct 17th, 2011, 04:10 AM
One of my roomates has been acting very weird over the last few days and a lot of my friends have come to the conclusion that she might be possessed by a demonic spirit. She wakes up every night around 2-ish, goes into the living room and sits on the couch in pitch darkness not doing anything, often she will say things to herself that don't make sense and point at laugh at random objects. At first I thought that it was just a reaction to certain substances of hallucinogenic variety that we've been doing, however I've had no such reaction. I went to the local church and asked the priest if he could look into performing an exorcism for us but he dismissed it. I'm honestly scared shitless, I've been looking in tutorials on doing exorcism online but a lot of them appear to be fake and shams. Does anyone know of a resource on exorsism or better yet is anyone related to or knows a priest willing to perform an exorcism. If you are in the southern ontario region that would be great, I don't have a lot of money but we can come up with a couple hundred dollars for your efforts, if they are not available to come here in person I would still appreciate any tips and tricks on performing a successful exorcism

Also, I wish you would quit referring to my son as "she." Which one of his roommates are you, anyway?

Lena's bangs.

Mashabator
Oct 17th, 2011, 05:13 AM
Ghost Rape 2.0 :sobbing:

ampers&
Oct 17th, 2011, 05:46 AM
One of my roomates has been acting very weird over the last few days and a lot of my friends have come to the conclusion that she might be possessed by a demonic spirit. She wakes up every night around 2-ish, goes into the living room and sits on the couch in pitch darkness not doing anything, often she will say things to herself that don't make sense and point at laugh at random objects. At first I thought that it was just a reaction to certain substances of hallucinogenic variety that we've been doing, however I've had no such reaction. I went to the local church and asked the priest if he could look into performing an exorcism for us but he dismissed it. I'm honestly scared shitless, I've been looking in tutorials on doing exorcism online but a lot of them appear to be fake and shams. Does anyone know of a resource on exorsism or better yet is anyone related to or knows a priest willing to perform an exorcism. If you are in the southern ontario region that would be great, I don't have a lot of money but we can come up with a couple hundred dollars for your efforts, if they are not available to come here in person I would still appreciate any tips and tricks on performing a successful exorcism
:sobbing:

Your posts are all about quality, not quantity. Never change. :bigcry:

WhatTheDeuce
Oct 17th, 2011, 07:42 AM
As a firm believer in this type of thing, I've found this tutorial useful in the past.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3oCO86QZsw

Skip to 2:15 if you want to get right into it, but I really recommend watching the whole thing. :) Hope this helps.

duhcity
Oct 17th, 2011, 09:28 AM
I find a blowjob pretty liberating.

Melly Flew Us
Oct 23rd, 2011, 02:20 AM
oh god please don't perform the exorcism yourself!!!!!