Martina H. - Enters locker room flings racquet..Boom! Crash! Bang!! reflects off 8 locker's finally lands on Anna's lap!! (She's polishing her nails)
Anna K. - "Hey! what the heck! What's wrong Marti? You almost made me spill my chartuse nail polish!!"
Martina - "I've had it! I quit!! I'm never playing again!!"
Serena - "What's the problem Martina?"
Venus - Yeah! whats all the yelling about?"
Kim - "Whats the reason for you quitting...who did you lose to
Amelie - "Was it Samantha Reeves"??
Marti - NO!
Monica - "Was it Yoon Jeong Cho"?
Marti- NO! NO! It was Melanie (dearest)...that's the last straw!! Talk about humiliation!!
Jen enters...trips over swim flippers..."What the .#$%&*&^%$#@..who do these friggen swim flippers belong to?"
Serena - "Oh! Jen the're mine...I'm doing an underwater shoot with my cat suit on - they think it'll be "sexy"!!
Jen -" Yeah right! Watch out some horny whale doesn't attack you !!"
Conchita M. enters....rolling big yellow tennis balls!!
Justine - "Hey, Conch...whats with the big balls?"
Conchita -" Oh! they want me to autograph these - everybody is luving my old moon balls lately - big comma backa ya knows!!"
Enter Daniela - "Who the devil left those stack of books on the doorway?"
Serena - "Oh! they are mine...I have a gazillion movie scripts to read since I declared I have acting ability - one is for "Batman Meets Catwoman XII", another one is( remake #7) of "Cat On a Hot Tin Roof"...another one.........
Jen - "Get me a bucket...I'm gonna barf!!"
Venus - "Has anybody seen my tiara? I'm missing it since my last match!"
Amelie - "Have a look in the Queen's parlour you twit!!"
Anna K - "Martina when are you and I going to play doubles again?"
Martina - "If you mean tennis, never....however if you want to pick up Enrique and I'll call Sergio ---doubles it will be!!"
Jennifer: I don't believe it! How could I lose to the popsicle and the bag lady! How? Why? I'm the best there is!
Arantxa: Yes. But apart from the drinking and swearing. why don't you try to be best at tennis too?
Jennifer: At least miss torpedo-serve got hers here.
Alex: (sniff) I thought nothing could beat my big first serve.
Conchita: That's before you met-a my big moonballs!
Alex: My mother warned me about those!
Elena D: My mother did too. And she won't even let me have a boyfriend. She says I'll get along fine collecting my cactus plants.
Jennifer: They'll hurt you less than any boyfriend.
Kim: Hah! Just because some people can't organise their lives. I've got my boyfriend perfectly tamed. AND I have a good collection too.
Elena: Cactus plants?
Kim: No. Championship Trophies.
Daniela enters: (sniff) I thought nothing could beat my big first serve.
Patty: That's before you met my big ego. I just couldn't lose before my home crowd. I am the queen of Swiss tennis. I have it all - speed, power, personality...
Daniela: What about Martina?
Patty: Didn't you hear me? I said Speed, Power and personality.
Daniela: Martina has er.... personality.
Patty: I suppose one out of three isn't bad.
Oct 19th, 2002, 04:58 AM
One thing though, Elena D DOES have a boyfriend. She was (apparently) pictured with him in Tennis+ mag. or something like that.
Apart from that though, very funny, esp the last bit with Daniela and Patty:D
Oct 19th, 2002, 06:06 AM
Thanks xan good additions!!:D ;)
Oct 19th, 2002, 06:07 AM
ORGINALLY POSTED BY PHOENIXSTORM(im just moving it to this thread)
Jennifer: What did that classless b!tch say about my tennis?
Reporter: holds down the mute button
TO BE CONTINUED...
Monica: That Classless b!tch said, "that you just recently started playing top ten tennis."
Venus: What did you call me monica?
Lindsay: Um, vee, I think she was just quoting Jen.
Venus: My name is venus, not vee, and if venus is to hard for you to pronounce then The Queen will suffice.
Jennifer: someone needs to like get off their phucking high horse! (takes a puff on her ciggy)
Venus: I wasn't aware I was on your back, sorry.
Serena: Can we please just stick to the subject!
Reporter: Ok ladies how about we talk about something less confrontational?
Serena: Like Fashion! I have a new outfit I'm planning for my next tournament.