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miffedmax
Oct 16th, 2009, 07:24 PM
Well, I’ve been hoping for a huge flash of inspiration, but it’s getting close to that time of year, so I’m going to go ahead and get started and hope this thread is at least moderately amusing. But, like my oath to mention Lena’s bangs, I consider the Halloween confrontation/Lena birthday tribute OBLIGATORY. Also, the bangs rule applies in each installment.

OPEN ON A BEACH ON A TROPICAL ISLAND. VEE AND REE ARE SUNNING THEMSELVES.

VEE:
What a tropical paradise.

REE:
Hardly. If I find out who was pounding those voodoo drums all last night I will cram a tennis ball down the fu—

ENTER CARO:

Hi. Mind if I join you?

VEE:
Well…

REE:
We have to let her. She’s Top 10 now. Plus you know I love those nubile young blondes.

CARO:
Please. I’m not nubile I’m Danish. And I would NEVER pose nude.

REE:
Damn, she reminds me of somebody… blonde, easily confused, kinda prudish...

ENTER LENA D.

Oh, Caro, I’m so glad to hear that. You know, when I was your age, I swore I would never be a tennis Lolita.

REE:
Oh no. Not her again.

LENA STICKS OUT TONGUE AT REE.
Notice we have both selected modest one-piece suits. Well, actually, Mommy Vera picked mine out. And she told me I have to grow my bangs back.

ENTER AGA:
What? Who’s posing nude? Can I do it? Let’s all pose nude! Let’s have a bet about who can be the nudest of all!

LENA PUTS HER HANDS OVER HER EYES.
Nononononononononononononono…

VEE, PUTTING HANDS OVER HER EYES.
For once, I gotta go with Blondie over there.

ENTER FLAVIA:

Man, that was killer weed. I thought I just saw Aga playing Justine, naked.

AGA:
I did.

FLAVIA:
But Justine is retired…

ENTER JUSTINE AND KIM:
Not any more.

VEE:
Man, you know what this stupid confrontation is missing?

ENTER MASHA:
Us?

VEE:
No, spooks.

BUT HAS REE SPOKEN TOO SOON?????

zvonarevarulz
Oct 16th, 2009, 07:31 PM
:lol:
You are a genius:bowdown::rolls:

Taniaaa
Oct 16th, 2009, 08:00 PM
ohmy:lol::lol:

Vaidisova Ruled
Oct 16th, 2009, 08:04 PM
I love it ! :lol:

Slutiana
Oct 16th, 2009, 09:23 PM
:inlove:

Spooks sure are missing. :eek: Amaze cliffhanger

Привет
Oct 16th, 2009, 09:49 PM
:bowdown:

Golovinjured.
Oct 16th, 2009, 10:26 PM
:bigcry:

Mynarco
Oct 16th, 2009, 10:29 PM
I don't get this joke :(

louisa.
Oct 16th, 2009, 11:28 PM
confrontations :hearts: :woohoo:

Caralenko
Oct 16th, 2009, 11:37 PM
:hearts: Max.

Oh, how I've missed these (+flights) :sobbing:

helio_c
Oct 16th, 2009, 11:46 PM
Hahaha, love it... I still remember the haunted house one :hearts:

Kworb
Oct 17th, 2009, 01:00 AM
ENTER FLAVIA:

Man, that was killer weed. I thought I just saw Aga playing Justine, naked.

AGA:
I did.


:hysteric::hysteric::hysteric:

Zamboni
Oct 17th, 2009, 08:15 AM
:hearts: Max.

Oh, how I've missed these (+flights) :sobbing:
Seconded :D

Six Feet Under
Oct 17th, 2009, 08:28 AM
No marion :sobbing:

Can someone post links to earlier versions (if there are)

Caralenko
Oct 17th, 2009, 08:32 AM
No marion :sobbing:

Can someone post links to earlier versions (if there are)

Just look at other threads started by miffedemax :weirdo: Marion is rarely featured.

Six Feet Under
Oct 17th, 2009, 08:41 AM
Just look at other threads started by miffedemax :weirdo: Marion is rarely featured.

Well this is the first one if seen of this kind, so i didn't know where to look? And that's probably a good thing :sobbing:

Caralenko
Oct 17th, 2009, 08:45 AM
Well this is the first one if seen of this kind, so i didn't know where to look? And that's probably a good thing :sobbing:

Every forum has this option :unsure: Profile --> Threads by user.

This was the last one (http://tennisforum.com/showthread.php?t=369313).

Six Feet Under
Oct 17th, 2009, 08:47 AM
Well i didn't want to have to go trolling through all of th threads he has ever made

Caralenko
Oct 17th, 2009, 08:55 AM
Well i didn't want to have to go trolling through all of th threads he has ever made

:lol: Not everyone makes as many threads as you :unsure: :kiss:

But that is essentially the easiest way to find them. There are quite a few if you have time and need entertainment.

Six Feet Under
Oct 17th, 2009, 08:59 AM
:lol: Not everyone makes as many threads as you :unsure: :kiss:

But that is essentially the easiest way to find them. There are quite a few if you have time and need entertainment.

Well i do make a lot of threads, i'm not going to deny that.

Thanks for the tip :D

gdot
Oct 17th, 2009, 09:48 AM
:lol:
looking forward to the next bit!!

^bibi^
Oct 17th, 2009, 11:36 AM
It's that time of the year again :banana: :banana: :hearts:

miffedmax
Oct 17th, 2009, 06:46 PM
THE STORY RESUMES…

LENA:

Everyone is coming out of retirement these days. I saw Suzanne Lenglen in the lobby of the hotel this morning.

KIM:
Lenglen? She’s been dead for years…

LENA:
Really? Maybe that’s why she didn’t answer when I called out to her. I thought maybe because it was because French is not my first language…

VEE:
Damn, she uses that one, too?

JUSTINE:
You’d be surprised.

FLAVIA:
You know, come to think of it, I did see Kitty Godfree in the hotel restaurant. She was ordering brains. I thought it was strange, but I was stoned. And horny.

KIM:
I think it’s nice so many players are coming out of retirement.

VEE:
They’re not coming out of retirement, they’re brain-eating zombies! And they must have taken over our hotel.

AGA:
We need to go someplace safe. But where?

LENA:
Don’t worry. I have a roadmap.

LENA PRODUCES A HUGE MAP, WHICH SHE HOLDS UPSIDE DOWN.

LENA:
Only I can’t make much sense of it.

QUEEN MASHA:
Ignorant peasant. Give it to us.

MASHA STUDIES THE MAP INTENTLY.
QUEEN MASHA:
We admit it. This roadmap makes no sense to us either.

REE:
Blondes. Give it.

REE STUDIES THE ROADMAP.
I swear if I ever meet the person who designed this map I will cram a fuc—

SUDDENLY, AN AMBULANCE WITH HANDICAPPED PLATES PULLS UP. JJ AND VIKA POKE THEIR HEADS OUT.

VIKA:
Any of you need a lift?

ALL:
Yes, please.

QUEEN MASHA:
Thanks, JJ.

VIKA:
I’m not JJ. She is. (POINTS TO JJ).

QUEEN MASHA:
Like I can tell the difference.

THE VAN DRIVES UNTIL THE GALS SPOT AN ISOLATED CONVENIENCE STORE.

VEE:
We can hole up in that convenience store until help arrives, and use this ambulance to block the doors.

JUSTINE.
Good idea.

THEY PULL THE VAN IN FRONT OF THE CONVENIENCE STORE AND ENTER, THEIR JAWS DROPPING IN SURPRISE AS THEY SEE WHO’S BEHIND THE COUNTER…

Cakeisgood
Oct 17th, 2009, 07:09 PM
VIKA:
Any of you need a lift?

ALL:
Yes, please.

QUEEN MASHA:
Thanks, JJ.

VIKA:
I’m not JJ. She is. (POINTS TO JJ).

QUEEN MASHA:
Like I can tell the difference.


:worship::worship::worship::worship:

Adal
Oct 17th, 2009, 07:11 PM
'Queen Masha' is just brilliant. :worship:

Babolatpro880
Oct 17th, 2009, 07:29 PM
Hahaha, love it... I still remember the haunted house one :hearts:

I do too!

Miffedmax :worship: I :hearts: these every year.

Is it Myskina behind the counter? There's always Myskina in the Halloween one.

louisa.
Oct 17th, 2009, 11:17 PM
:sobbing: brilliant :worship:

Kworb
Oct 17th, 2009, 11:19 PM
REE:
Blondes. Give it.

REE STUDIES THE ROADMAP.
I swear if I ever meet the person who designed this map I will cram a fuc—

:tears:

Knizzle
Oct 17th, 2009, 11:28 PM
LOL @ Flavia having the killer weed.

SV_Fan
Oct 18th, 2009, 12:12 AM
love these!

Douce
Oct 18th, 2009, 02:05 AM
Ok...now this is getting good again!! Keep going...

gorecki
Oct 18th, 2009, 04:54 AM
CARO:
Please. I’m not nubile I’m Danish. And I would NEVER pose nude.

REE:
Damn, she reminds me of somebody… blonde, easily confused, kinda prudish...

ENTER LENA D.


VIKA:
I’m not JJ. She is. (POINTS TO JJ).

QUEEN MASHA:
Like I can tell the difference.

i had to :spit: :haha:
:yeah:

saul1333
Oct 18th, 2009, 04:58 AM
:haha: :rolls:



QUEEN MASHA:
Thanks, JJ.

VIKA:
I’m not JJ. She is. (POINTS TO JJ).

QUEEN MASHA:
Like I can tell the difference.



:sobbing:

Drake1980
Oct 18th, 2009, 05:00 AM
:p

abi
Oct 18th, 2009, 06:46 AM
THE STORY RESUMES…
QUEEN MASHA:
Thanks, JJ.

VIKA:
I’m not JJ. She is. (POINTS TO JJ).

QUEEN MASHA:
Like I can tell the difference.



:spit::worship: brilliant!

TheBoiledEgg
Oct 18th, 2009, 07:54 AM
:lol: brill

Sammm
Oct 18th, 2009, 09:48 AM
LENA:
Don’t worry. I have a roadmap.

LENA PRODUCES A HUGE MAP, WHICH SHE HOLDS UPSIDE DOWN.

LENA:
Only I can’t make much sense of it.

QUEEN MASHA:
Ignorant peasant. Give it to us.

MASHA STUDIES THE MAP INTENTLY.
QUEEN MASHA:
We admit it. This roadmap makes no sense to us either.

REE:
Blondes. Give it.


THEY PULL THE VAN IN FRONT OF THE CONVENIENCE STORE AND ENTER, THEIR JAWS DROPPING IN SURPRISE AS THEY SEE WHO’S BEHIND THE COUNTER…

Roadmap :haha:

Ziggy Starduck
Oct 18th, 2009, 12:27 PM
:lol::worship: Please give Nastya a guest appearance :kiss:

charmedRic
Oct 18th, 2009, 12:28 PM
:worship::worship::worship::worship:

ditto.

hdfb
Oct 18th, 2009, 01:01 PM
It MUST be Sexy Lexy behind the counter. :inlove:

Nina.
Oct 18th, 2009, 01:09 PM
awesome :worship:

Slutiana
Oct 18th, 2009, 01:12 PM
Roadmap. :sobbing:

saarsngg
Oct 18th, 2009, 01:14 PM
Brilliant :worship:

But no mention of Lena's bangs for the 2nd installment? :confused:

miffedmax
Oct 18th, 2009, 01:25 PM
Aaaarrrggg! I did forget the bangs. I'll do two in the next one. Good catch.

iGOAT
Oct 18th, 2009, 04:35 PM
:sobbing: love it! Masha is we :haha:.

Rix643
Oct 18th, 2009, 08:18 PM
The Vika/JJ/Masha part: pure Genius. :bowdown:

Jane Lane
Oct 18th, 2009, 09:15 PM
Brilliant. :haha:
My first experience reading one of these. XD

Flavia would have the killer weed haha.

gc-spurs
Oct 22nd, 2009, 11:30 PM
Haha I went through all of MiffedMax's threads and read all the stories. They're fucking brilliant.



QUEEN MASHA:
Thanks, JJ.

VIKA:
I’m not JJ. She is. (POINTS TO JJ).

QUEEN MASHA:
Like I can tell the difference.



:worship::worship:

NyCPsU
Oct 23rd, 2009, 03:10 AM
Roadmap :haha:

domon17th
Oct 23rd, 2009, 03:35 PM
Ahhhh I miss those! Gd job!

miffedmax
Oct 25th, 2009, 11:55 PM
LI AND MIRZA STAND BEHIND THE COUNTER.

LI:
Yes, we know. It is an offensive stereotype right off the Simpsons to have Asians operating a convenience store.

SANIA:
But this place is a goldmine! I mean can you believe there are people stupid enough to pay $1.29 for a 50 cent candy bar?

LENA D. HURRIDLY REPLACES THE CANDY BAR SHE JUST PICKED UP BACK IN THE RACK.
NO! Just like it's hard to believe there are crazy dirty old men stalkers who want me to grow my bangs back!

AGA:
Oooh! Are those Playboys behind the counter?

QUEEN MASHA:
Hmmm. Perhaps we should peruse one of those, just to see what amuses the ignorant masses…

SUDDENLY, SCREAMS!

KIM:
The whole parking lot is filled with zombies!

JUSTINE:
Connally Brinker! Gussie Moran! Ellen Roosevelt! All back from the dead!

FLAVIA:

So, Caro, you got any weed? All this zombie shit is stressing me out!

CARO:
What are you talking about?

FLAVIA:
C’mon, don’t play dumb with me. Everyone on Tennis Forum says you’re a pusher, so lemme have a taste, girlfriend!

KIM:
Holy crap, Is that really Bertha Townsend? She looks pretty good!

LENA:
And there’s Dinara! Oh how, sad. I didn’t know she was dead…

JJ:
She’s not. She just plays that way.

FROM OFFSCREEN, HORRIBLE SCREAMS FROM DINARA.

VIKA:
She is now.

ELENA:
I want my Mommy.

LI:
Surprise. Not.

JUSTINE:
You know why all these players are coming back from the dead don’t you?

LENA:
Because Mommy Vera told them to?

JUSTINE:
No. Because they see players like Caro are making Grand Slam Finals. I say we feed her to the zombies!

CARO:
Oh, please. Those things are so slow, I’ll tear them apart. Give me a racket.

CARO RUNS OUT INTO THE PARKING LOT. SHE IS POUNDING THE CRAP OUT OF A ZOMBIE WHEN HER PHONE BEEPS. SHE TAKES IT OUT.

CARO:
Hey! A text from dad!

SUDDENLY, CARO STOPS FIGHTING AND IS TORN APART BY HUNGRY ZOMBIES…

northern lad
Oct 26th, 2009, 12:00 AM
:rolls:

NyCPsU
Oct 26th, 2009, 12:18 AM
Caro :sad:

Flavia :worship:

Miss Atomic Bomb
Oct 26th, 2009, 12:19 AM
Did the wicked witch make her appearance yet? http://www.tennisforum.com/customavatars/avatar55009_105.gif

The Kaz
Oct 26th, 2009, 12:59 AM
Did the wicked witch make her appearance yet? http://www.tennisforum.com/customavatars/avatar55009_105.gif

You mean Serena? No she wasn't it that installment :awww:

saul1333
Oct 26th, 2009, 02:05 AM
:worship::rolls:

The part with Lena and the candy bar is cute :awww:

CuteKoala
Oct 26th, 2009, 02:55 AM
Hallowe'en is also celebrated in the Arabian Desert. ;)

http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/9449/wpdoha2009smallversion.jpg

The larger version is a bit better. :)

http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/6259/wpdoha2009.jpg

¤CharlDa¤
Oct 26th, 2009, 03:06 AM
FLAVIA:

So, Caro, you got any weed? All this zombie shit is stressing me out!

CARO:
What are you talking about?

FLAVIA:
C’mon, don’t play dumb with me. Everyone on Tennis Forum says you’re a pusher, so lemme have a taste, girlfriend!

:lol:

CrossCourt~Rally
Oct 26th, 2009, 03:19 AM
FLAVIA:

So, Caro, you got any weed? All this zombie shit is stressing me out!

CARO:
What are you talking about?

FLAVIA:
C’mon, don’t play dumb with me. Everyone on Tennis Forum says you’re a pusher, so lemme have a taste, girlfriend!

:lol:


CLASSIC! :haha:

P_Fer
Oct 26th, 2009, 03:54 AM
Awesome :lol:

gc-spurs
Oct 26th, 2009, 05:27 AM
JUSTINE:
You know why all these players are coming back from the dead don’t you?

LENA:
Because Mommy Vera told them to?

JUSTINE:
No. Because they see players like Caro are making Grand Slam Finals. I say we feed her to the zombies!

CARO:
Oh, please. Those things are so slow, I’ll tear them apart. Give me a racket.

CARO RUNS OUT INTO THE PARKING LOT. SHE IS POUNDING THE CRAP OUT OF A ZOMBIE WHEN HER PHONE BEEPS. SHE TAKES IT OUT.

CARO:
Hey! A text from dad!

SUDDENLY, CARO STOPS FIGHTING AND IS TORN APART BY HUNGRY ZOMBIES…

:lol:

Cakeisgood
Oct 26th, 2009, 05:41 AM
Caro :sobbing:

duhcity
Oct 26th, 2009, 05:54 AM
I want to marry you.
omgsh.

SAISAI-GOAT
Oct 26th, 2009, 06:08 AM
Na :hearts:

Josh.
Oct 26th, 2009, 07:12 AM
LENA:
And there’s Dinara! Oh how, sad. I didn’t know she was dead…

JJ:
She’s not. She just plays that way.

FROM OFFSCREEN, HORRIBLE SCREAMS FROM DINARA.

VIKA:
She is now.


Gold. :spit:

Hardiansf
Oct 26th, 2009, 07:30 AM
You really are genius :worship:. This is masterpiece, just like the old ones.
Love it :hearts:. Keep it going.

No Bartoli? :sad:

HenryMag.
Oct 26th, 2009, 11:54 AM
very funny, once again :rolls:

Jose.
Oct 26th, 2009, 12:37 PM
Amazing :lol: :worship:

Mynarco
Oct 26th, 2009, 12:52 PM
LI AND MIRZA STAND BEHIND THE COUNTER.

LENA:
And there’s Dinara! Oh how, sad. I didn’t know she was dead…

JJ:
She’s not. She just plays that way.


:haha:

Elwin.
Oct 26th, 2009, 01:06 PM
:haha: :sobbing:

+/-
Oct 26th, 2009, 02:59 PM
Never disappoints! I'm in stitches..

Rix643
Oct 26th, 2009, 04:52 PM
Now I always expect to hear Manjula when I see Mirza. :tears:

Jane Lane
Oct 31st, 2009, 06:06 PM
:haha:
genius.

miffedmax
Nov 2nd, 2009, 01:25 AM
OKAY, HALLOWEEN HAS COME AND GONE, BUT I WAS REALLY BUSY AND I’M GOING TO FINISH THIS THING ANYWAY…

LENA POINTS AT CARO’S BODY AS THE ZOMBIES TEAR IT LIMB FROM LIMB AND LAUGHS.

LENA:
That’s hilarious! She’s so stupid! What kind of idiot just does whatever some parent tells her too?

LI:
Laugh while you can. Because when she ran out there, she unlocked the door and took the keys.

VEE:
So somebody will have to go out and get the keys…

QUEEN MASHA:
Certainly not us. We are too young and beautiful.

REE:
Not me. I’ m a FOR REAL number one.

JUSTINE:
This is such and easy decision.

JUSTINE KICKS VIKA’S WHEELCHAIR. FLAVIA OPENS THE DOOR.

VIKA:
You… you bitches!

KIM:
How could you do that to poor Vika?

JUSTINE:
Because I thought it was Jankovic. Duh.

JANKO:
If I wasn’t hurt, I would so kick your asses.

AGA:
The problem is that you sent a gimp to fight an army of zombies.

LENA:
Vika is doing about as well as me at a YEC. Or with a chance to take the #1 spot. In fact, she’s doing about as well as me in a Grand Slam final. You after that final, I had to go in my bad girl close for a three whole months. And I was growing my bangs back, but Mommy Vera yanked them out by the roots. And then…

JUSTINE:
Lord, can we send her?

VEE:
No. The rules are very clear. If one of the qualified players is unable to fight a zombie takeover, we must use an alternate.

AGA:
I hate that fucking rule…

gc-spurs
Nov 2nd, 2009, 01:40 AM
OKAY, HALLOWEEN HAS COME AND GONE, BUT I WAS REALLY BUSY AND I’M GOING TO FINISH THIS THING ANYWAY…

LENA POINTS AT CARO’S BODY AS THE ZOMBIES TEAR IT LIMB FROM LIMB AND LAUGHS.

LENA:
That’s hilarious! She’s so stupid! What kind of idiot just does whatever some parent tells her too?

LI:
Laugh while you can. Because when she ran out there, she unlocked the door and took the keys.

VEE:
So somebody will have to go out and get the keys…

QUEEN MASHA:
Certainly not us. We are too young and beautiful.

REE:
Not me. I’ m a FOR REAL number one.

JUSTINE:
This is such and easy decision.

JUSTINE KICKS VIKA’S WHEELCHAIR. FLAVIA OPENS THE DOOR.

VIKA:
You… you bitches!

KIM:
How could you do that to poor Vika?

JUSTINE:
Because I thought it was Jankovic. Duh.

JANKO:
If I wasn’t hurt, I would so kick your asses.

AGA:
The problem is that you sent a gimp to fight an army of zombies.

LENA:
Vika is doing about as well as me at a YEC. Or with a chance to take the #1 spot. In fact, she’s doing about as well as me in a Grand Slam final. You after that final, I had to go in my bad girl close for a three whole months. And I was growing my bangs back, but Mommy Vera yanked them out by the roots. And then…

JUSTINE:
Lord, can we send her?

VEE:
No. The rules are very clear. If one of the qualified players is unable to fight a zombie takeover, we must use an alternate.

AGA:
I hate that fucking rule…

:lol::lol:
:worship::worship:
That last bit was perfect.

Cakeisgood
Nov 2nd, 2009, 04:42 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH :death: x 1000000000. This last installment is the best yet!

Jane Lane
Nov 2nd, 2009, 09:14 PM
VEE:
No. The rules are very clear. If one of the qualified players is unable to fight a zombie takeover, we must use an alternate.

AGA:
I hate that fucking rule…

:worship:
I was having a terrible day until I read that. Thanks Max!

louisa.
Nov 3rd, 2009, 10:39 AM
:haha: :haha: the last part especially :sobbing:

Natalicious
Nov 3rd, 2009, 10:49 AM
the last part is the best :haha: :haha: looove it :sobbing:

G&R
Nov 3rd, 2009, 12:37 PM
great Max :worship:

Fantasy Hero
Nov 3rd, 2009, 01:46 PM
great work Max:worship:

Flavia and Aga:inlove: :rolls:

Williamsser
Nov 3rd, 2009, 04:11 PM
:lol:

miffedmax
Nov 6th, 2009, 11:57 AM
OKAY, I’M LATE AGAIN, BUT IT’S HALLOWEEN ALL YEAR LONG IF YOU’RE A DEMENTIEVA FAN…

LI:
We can’t send Aga out there alone. She’ll be slaughtered.

QUEEN MASHA:
As long as we’re not slaughtered.

LENA:
I want my mommy. And my bangs.

MIRZA:
Lena, is there ever any time or circumstance when you DON’T want your mommy?

LENA:
Of course not.

A STRANGE RATTLING NOISE COMES FROM UNDER A DISPLAY CASE.

JUSTINE:
What’s that noise?

LI:
Oh, Marion fell asleep after she ate all the cupcakes. We didn’t want her blocking the aisle, so we stuffed her under the coffee machine.

MIRZA:
She didn’t look very good though. She said some crazy fan bit her…

SUDDENLY, MARION EMERGES, OBVIOUSLY ZOMBIFIED AND HURLS HERSELF AT JJ.

JJ:
Crap. I knew this wheelchair was bad idea!

MARION:
Cake! Cake! I mean brains! Brains!

KIM:
Oh, I must help her!

KIM RUSHES TO HELP JJ, BUT IS MARION TURNS ON HER AND EATS KIM’S BRAINS.

WHILE THE WOMEN ARE DISTRACTED, THE REANIMATED CORPSES OF CARO AND VIKA APPEAR, OPENING THE DOORS FOR THE OTHER ZOMBIES!

AGA AND JUSTINE FIGHT A DESPERATE REARGUARD ACTION.

MIRZA AND LI PRODUCE WEAPONS FROM UNDERNEATH THE COUNTER AND DROP A FEW ZOMBIES. AT FIRST THE ZOMBIES IGNORE LI.

VEE:
Why don’ the zombies attack Li?

QUEEN MASHA:
Because zombies eat brains.

REE:
So?

QUEEN MASHA:
Well, Li is a brainless ballbasher. So Li is safe.

LENA:
Am I safe too?

THE ZOMBIES EAT LI.

QUEEN MASHA.
Hmm. Our theory appears to be incorrect.

VEE:
Quick! The freezer! It has a lock!

THE FOUR SURVIVIORS RUN INTO THE FREEZER AND LOCK THE DOOR. THEY HUDDLE TOGETHER, FREEZING. THE ZOMBIES POUND ON THE DOOR. THE HINGES START TO GIVE…

REE:
It’s so cold.

QUEEN MASHA:
It’s so cold we can’t help but notice your nipples are erect.

REE:
Yours, too.

LENA:
It’s not cold. It reminds me of when I was a little girl in Moscow and if I was good Mommy Vera would let me have a sheet to wrap myself in when I slept on the fire escape of our apartment during the winter. And of course for school, she would sometimes let me stuff a sheet of newspaper down my shirt to keep me warm, and once I found a book of matches in the street and I burned one on the coldest day of the year and it was so nice and toasty…

VEE:
That door isn’t going to hold out much longer. I suggest instead of listening to Lena’s interminable stories about her depressing childhood, we make things right.

REE:
You’re right, Sis. SHE TURNS TO MASHA.
I’ve always loved you.

QUEEN MASHA:
And I’ve always loved you. I wish you’d asked me out on a date before all this happened.

REE:
I was waiting for you to ask me…

QUEEN MASHA:
You mean were both…

VEE:
Enough!

Now it’s my confession. Lena? I have something I have to say. You were right. Dad really does flip a coin when Ree and I play each other.

LENA:
Earlier this year, when Mommy Vera was sick, I snuck out to the movies with Maxim without a chaperone. He put his arm around me and… and… his fingers touched the top of my booby. And I liked it!

THE DOOR BURST OPEN. THE SCREEN GOES TO A SNOW PATTERN.

STACY ALLASTER’S FACE APPEARS.

We deny rumors of the entire WTA being turned into zombies. In fact, the WTA is in better shape than ever before! The return of players like Adine Masson, Margaret Molesworth, Gussie Moran and others can only make our sport more attractive to fans…

FINIS

Ziggy Starduck
Nov 6th, 2009, 12:05 PM
Oh Max you delivered :lol: great work :worship:

pka_liloo
Nov 6th, 2009, 12:47 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol:
OMG! this is gold!
but where's vampire Myskina??? :sad:

The Kaz
Nov 6th, 2009, 12:54 PM
OMG HILARIOUS!!!!!!! :haha:

Loved the finish!

Alex03Maccy
Nov 6th, 2009, 04:14 PM
maxi :worship:

NyCPsU
Nov 6th, 2009, 04:53 PM
Brainless ballbasher :worship:

helio_c
Nov 6th, 2009, 05:03 PM
Hahahaha, loved the Masha-Reena romance...
The last bit :spit:

HenryMag.
Nov 6th, 2009, 05:35 PM
amazing end :worship:

everything made me laugh :spit:

gc-spurs
Nov 6th, 2009, 06:06 PM
Marena fanfic!!!
The ending is perfect
:lol: :lol:

Matt.
Nov 6th, 2009, 07:02 PM
Wonderful, Max. (: :lol:

Six Feet Under
Oct 17th, 2010, 01:06 AM
:inlove:

Brainless ballbasher :sobbing:

CrossCourt~Rally
Oct 17th, 2010, 02:07 AM
Max > :happy: