PDA

View Full Version : What do you think about forcing a marraige d/t a pregnancy?


Dawn Marie
Sep 18th, 2008, 05:08 PM
I'm curious about how people really feel about this subject. Would you pressure your 17 year old daughter into a loveless marraige because of a pregnancy?? I think it is wrong and it goes against the very christian beliefs. A marraige is supposed to be a holy union. A bond between a man and a women. Or if you're a democrat like me a man and a man or women and a women. I just think it is pathetic and wrong for parents to force young adult children into a fake marraige just because of a pregnancy. Why would you want to raise a child with 2 kids who just don't love each other and are unhappy.
Kids make mistakes and it's ok to raise a child out of wedlock. I've seen many children raised in great environments with one single parent. I've seen kids in horrible environments with 2 parents.
I would like to hear from the youth on this subject. I personally think it's ok to have sex before marraige. The key is prevention and education. The stay a virgin forever until your married is just another mysogistic way of controlling women. I feel bad for kids who are harrassed and pressured into a life of hell because of a mistake. Why turn 1 mistake into 2 mistakes. :wavey:

Kworb
Sep 18th, 2008, 05:18 PM
I would advise her to get an abortion. If she insists on keeping it then I failed as a parent. I wouldn't care what she does with the scum that fathered the child.

saint2
Sep 18th, 2008, 05:23 PM
I know personally a few girls who's get pregnant at teens. No one of them was forced to marriage. And the kids upbringed by them behave pretty well. Im sure they will be valuable people in the future, mostly thanks to hard situation they have as a kids...


The key is prevention and education.

I am against education in that subject. In fact, I am against education in general...

Danči Dementia
Sep 18th, 2008, 05:25 PM
in my country(México) people is very old fashioned.....and if a teenager gets pregnant she has got to get married...those kind of marriages rarely work....and the couple is usually unhappy....and get divorced in two years (or less) time.

unless they are the ones who choose to get married its ok...but I havenŽt met a couple that got married in a young age and they are still together.....I have friends from highschool that got pregnant and married but their marriage didnŽt work

if I get pregnant I would have to get married ...my mom wouldnŽt accept me having a baby without being married.....sheŽll probably never speak to me again...really..my family is like that:shrug:...well I think I overreacted by saying she wouldnŽt speak to me:unsure:....sheŽll surely be very upset at me.......and the rest of my family wouldnŽt accep it either......but IŽm not a teenager anymore....neither adult I think....:scratch:.....well IŽm 20...
anyway IŽm a very responsible person and I donŽt think IŽll get pregnant without being married;) so I donŽt think IŽll ever be in one of those situations :)

@Sweet Cleopatra
Sep 18th, 2008, 05:35 PM
Most of pregnant girls actually want to get married if they will keep the baby ...


The best thing is no sex before marriage and no marriage before 18 ...

homogenius
Sep 18th, 2008, 05:40 PM
Most of pregnant girls actually want to get married if they will keep the baby ...


The best thing is no sex before marriage and no marriage before 18 ...

No.The best thing is to kill ourselves in order to avoid any temptations and join God and his oh-so cute kingdom asap.

(at least it's what they tell me in the church.)

Dawn Marie
Sep 18th, 2008, 05:41 PM
Sweet Cleopatra that is not true. I disagree with your solution to a teen pregancy problem. The solution is teaching prevention from diseases and early pregnancy. Saying no sex before marraige is saying teens don't have raging hormones. Kids fuck. Bottomline. Alot of teens fuck. So the best thing is to address that they fuck and then teach them birth control.
Nurses and Doctors teach us all how to prevent lung cancer and many other conditions. Teaching and Education empowers us all.

saint2
Sep 18th, 2008, 05:47 PM
Teaching and Education empowers us all.

No. Education is not solution to all...

@Sweet Cleopatra
Sep 18th, 2008, 05:49 PM
I am a teen myself , I never did sex , and I have friends , may be boys want to have sex a lot , but nearly all girls don't find it a problem not to have sex , girls got pregnant not boys .. it is unfair to let girls have so much trouble and problems with pregnancy and child and problems to their family too when they are still children themselves ...
There is no 100% safe sex ...

Danči Dementia
Sep 18th, 2008, 05:51 PM
No. Education is not solution to all...

in this case it is :shrug:

how would someone know how to prevent a pregnancy if they donŽt have any sexual education

saint2
Sep 18th, 2008, 06:10 PM
in this case it is :shrug:

how would someone know how to prevent a pregnancy if they donŽt have any sexual education

I never had any sexual education and I know :lol::lol::lol:

Danči Dementia
Sep 18th, 2008, 06:21 PM
I never had any sexual education and I know :lol::lol::lol:

maybe from Tv or magazines..or by someone else teaching you:p:hehehe:..:that also counts as sexual education :shrug:

saint2
Sep 18th, 2008, 06:27 PM
maybe from Tv or magazines..or by someone else teaching you:p:hehehe:..:that also counts as sexual education :shrug:

Yes, but it didn't cost a single cent from budget...;)

And all sex ed programs suggested by doctrine wich is in USA called "liberal" and everywhee else "social democratic" assumpt huge drain of taxpayer's money...

Danči Dementia
Sep 18th, 2008, 06:36 PM
Yes, but it didn't cost a single cent from budget...;)

And all sex ed programs suggested by doctrine wich is in USA called "liberal" and everywhee else "social democratic" assumpt huge drain of taxpayer's money...

:lol:
I wasnŽt trying to say you paid for it anyway:p;)

:kiss:

Dawn Marie
Sep 18th, 2008, 08:59 PM
I also don't think anything good comes out of forcing young kids into a marraige. Now you'll have 2 unhappy people growing up way too fast with more children. It's a travesty.

Education is still the key. It empowers. More kids are having sex at a young age then ever before. So if there having sex teach them birth control and prevention of disease. Only good can come from it.
Teenagers A were taught about condoms and safe sex. They are disease free and no pregnancys.
Teenagers b were taught no sex no sex before marraige and no condom buying, they have sex anyway but end up preganant and or with a disease.
I prefer teenager A solution to preventing the epidemic. This is what I will teach my children boy and girls.

Chris 84
Sep 18th, 2008, 09:10 PM
I would advise her to get an abortion. If she insists on keeping it then I failed as a parent. I wouldn't care what she does with the scum that fathered the child.

I think that is a rather disgusting attitude, personally.

Rerun
Sep 18th, 2008, 09:13 PM
I am a teen myself , I never did sex , and I have friends , may be boys want to have sex a lot , but nearly all girls don't find it a problem not to have sex , girls got pregnant not boys .. it is unfair to let girls have so much trouble and problems with pregnancy and child and problems to their family too when they are still children themselves ...
There is no 100% safe sex ...


I assume you're a religious person

well, if someone follow your point of view has to contemplate the possibility that after married maybe the partner is impotent o maybe the couple has problem of sex understanding.
But according to Churc is having children one of main objective of wedding and so, if someone discover to have sexual problem after a wedding and forces the partner to a life of abstinence (poor :lol:) is not like a sort of profanation of the sacrament?

in my family all people are catholic but we have an open mind, have sex is normal, sex with love is better (but not fundamental), respect always your partner and, absolutely...have sex before wedding! Discover if you absolutely have feeling or not is fundamental for hoping in a long wedding (maybe for life)

returning to the first question: obviously is wrong, have a child nowadays is not a problem, not a social discrimination...marry ifyou really love and you have the bases to continue this relationship with the passing of time ;)

Kart
Sep 18th, 2008, 10:05 PM
I have no real problem with pre-marital relations in adults.

I think the issue with teenagers is not so much education - though there's no doubt it could be a lot better - but with peer pressure and the mainstream media desensitising us to what used to be considered a very special, intimate thing.

saint2
Sep 18th, 2008, 10:08 PM
I have no real problem with pre-marital relations in adults.

I think the issue with teenagers is not so much education but with peer pressure and the mainstream media desensitising us to what used to be considered a very special, intimate thing.

Lets say I agree...

Kart
Sep 18th, 2008, 10:14 PM
We should remember this moment then as we rarely agree on anything.

Kworb
Sep 18th, 2008, 10:21 PM
I think that is a rather disgusting attitude, personally.
Good thing I will never have children :lol:

Randy H
Sep 19th, 2008, 01:49 PM
I would advise her to get an abortion. If she insists on keeping it then I failed as a parent. I wouldn't care what she does with the scum that fathered the child.

Why does that make the father scum, yet not your own child? They both made the decision to have sex with one another, and both were likely not responsible in taking the proper precautions in avoiding creating a child together. They are both equally accountable for their actions, and I don't think it makes either of them scum so long as they are doing the right thing in acknowledging each of their responsibility in the situation.

I personally don't think it's right to force, or pressure marriage. Why would I want my child raised under a roof where there is no love between the parents? Let them make the decision on their own. If they do love each other, then they will marry when the time is right for them as a couple, not just because they are having a child together. If they don't love each other, then you don't get married. Stay together if you wish to continue a relationship (since lots of couples are together and not immediately in love, takes time to get to that point), or be separate, but equally active and loving parents to the child.

sakya23
Sep 19th, 2008, 01:59 PM
If she was 17, I would prefer she have an abortion or put it up for adoption, she is not ready to take care of a baby and has her whole life in front of her.

I would never force her to marry anyone she didn't truly love. My parents have been happily together for 20 years and aren't legally married.

pov
Sep 19th, 2008, 02:09 PM
I'd give her all the support to make her own decision, make sure she is clear about her options/choices and what each could entail. The primo - I'd do my utmost to make sure she is still feeling good about herself. Pressure her to marry? Uh no.

Veritas
Sep 19th, 2008, 03:07 PM
Most parents do what they can for their children. Although it might not seem like it in some situations, what they do comes from having spent day and night thinking about what's best for the kids. If "forcing" their daughters into a marriage is one way of ensuring she (and her child) get support and security, then maybe it's not an entirely bad thing.

Kworb
Sep 19th, 2008, 03:13 PM
Why does that make the father scum, yet not your own child? They both made the decision to have sex with one another, and both were likely not responsible in taking the proper precautions in avoiding creating a child together. They are both equally accountable for their actions, and I don't think it makes either of them scum so long as they are doing the right thing in acknowledging each of their responsibility in the situation.

I personally don't think it's right to force, or pressure marriage. Why would I want my child raised under a roof where there is no love between the parents? Let them make the decision on their own. If they do love each other, then they will marry when the time is right for them as a couple, not just because they are having a child together. If they don't love each other, then you don't get married. Stay together if you wish to continue a relationship (since lots of couples are together and not immediately in love, takes time to get to that point), or be separate, but equally active and loving parents to the child.
Where did I say my own child was not scum? They would both be equally deplorable. But she's my kid, I can't just put her on the street, or lock her up in a cellar for 24 years. I'd have to accept whatever she does. :o