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Ian Aberdon
Jan 21st, 2008, 07:01 PM
DATELINE JAN 21 2008, AO:

OH WHOA, my dear friends :hearts:

I hope you have all had a great Christmas & New Year, didn't eat too many chocolate eclairs (like I did), watched Wizard Of Oz (like I did)or make mad passionate love to your partner (like I didn't). Well, when you're in Florida & my partner is in Scotland, it is a bit difficult.

Sadly Jamie & I couldn't spend Christmas together, but I attended the Sport of the Year award with him, & it was an honour to be there. But I was very nervous opening the envelope, you know? When I read out the winner, nobody understood what I had said. Then I realised the name of the winner was upside down. Once we sat down, we had a great laugh, s******ing at how Britain thinks it's a sporting nation. But no dancing after. Jamie is quite a dangerous opponent you know! :) . Meaning he can't dance a step, hahaha. This other person tried to muscle in, Matt I think his name was. Fancied himself as some sort of dancer, but he wasn't dancing after I dug my high heels in his ankle :devil:, I think he's broken it! Went off muttering how dare I do that to a champion dancer! Never heard of him though.

Well now I'm in Australia of course, in Melbourne. As usual, all sorts of crazy things have happened to me. I don't know why! :) First a taxi driver tried to take me to Melbourne swimming pool - don't know who he thought I was, then he took me to Albert Park instead of the tennis. I mean, didn't he know who I was? I'm a famous tennis player & comedian star. I told him: "don't sit there to sit there, take me to the tennis. Thankfully I got there just in time. Then I had to run through a crowd in my wet, see-through dress to get an ice bath after my latest tough match. The driver didn't turn up. Then I spotted the driver across the street. It was JAMIE!!! I think he did that deliberately!! :) There was certainly a bigger crowd coming back than there was going there for some reason! I'm sure you know I got fined $2,000 for my mom coaching me when all she said was C'MON!!! The fact that she ALSO said put more slice on your backhand & concentrate on serving to her backhand had nothing to do with it, I don't think. I play Serena next. She is funny, gracious, generous, nice, happy, great tennis player but - WOAH - I don't want to shower her with compliments! I want to give myself a chance NOT to get bagled, you know?

Well, I had better be off to bed...big day tomorrow...I've got another radio ad to do with Jamie, & I have to get my lines right...OA Radio...OA Radio...

Bye bye for now! :kiss: JJ

RFS
Jan 21st, 2008, 08:07 PM
Chuckle...

Michael27
Jan 21st, 2008, 10:27 PM
I see your better Richard. Very good.

Ian Aberdon
Jan 22nd, 2008, 06:59 PM
DATELINE JAN 22 2008, AO:

Well, my friends, I'm sure you are as surprised as I am that I made it to the semi-final after beating Serena. I have pains all over my body, but like a wounded teddy bear, I never give up (well, apart from Bali, Bangkok...hahaha :) )

You are all wondering how I beat Serena? Well I swapped her trainers for a smaller pair when she wasn't looking, & she didn't notice! That's why she got a big blister on her toe. I hope she doesn't find out! Any advantage, baby!

I play Maria next, OMG!! I totally didn't expect her to beat Henin but maybe now I have a chance, you know? I can't beat Justine, but I have beaten Maria. Maybe I can get Andy Roddick to appear in the crowd, put her off.

I managed to fly up in a helicopter thing, to see Melbourne from the top. We turned up at the airport but the security alarm went off. Then they looked in my bag - that bloody banana was still in there, someone put it back in my bag after I threw it away! I told you, crazy things keep happening to me! :) It was OK though after I signed a few autographs & showed my butt, that seemed to please the security men & there were no problems after that.

I boarded the aircraft but imagine my surprise - it was SOOO BIG!!! But then I was told that I had boarded the 747 to London by mistake, hahaha! Then we were in the air. Whoa, what a view! All the traffic seemed to be leaving Melbourne, but I was told later they knew I was flying overhead, & didn't want to take any chances.

I've been told Jamie is in town for a few days, instead of flying off to his next tournament. He is doing some sightseeing, but given what I'VE shown him over the last few days, he's seen more than enough! :)

Anyway have to go, need to get more physio on my 127 injuries, patch me up for the next same.

Bye bye for now,

JJ :kiss:

RFS
Jan 22nd, 2008, 07:06 PM
DATELINE JAN 22 2008, AO:

You are all wondering how I beat Serena? Well I swapped her trainers for a smaller pair when she wasn't looking, & she didn't notice! That's why she got a big blister on her toe. I hope she doesn't find out! Any advantage, baby!



See I was waiting for Serena to come out with that in her presser!! :haha:

becky.really
Jan 22nd, 2008, 07:10 PM
Loved the press conference when Serena was like i am not going to make excuseswaits 5 secondsBUT

RFS
Jan 22nd, 2008, 07:12 PM
Loved the press conference when Serena was like i am not going to make excuseswaits 5 secondsBUT

there was a toe on my foot, you see... and a bone in my leg...:lol:

becky.really
Jan 22nd, 2008, 07:17 PM
do not even get me started on the sun or JJ actually playing...

RFS
Jan 22nd, 2008, 07:18 PM
do not even get me started on the sun or JJ actually playing...
Oh you're gonna fit in just fine...!

Wait until we actually "cheer" her on... god you'd think you were on GM and we were all :armed:

becky.really
Jan 22nd, 2008, 07:35 PM
My friend is a big supporter of Serena. We almost came to blows today!

Michael27
Jan 22nd, 2008, 07:37 PM
Is this the friend who went to Wimbledon

becky.really
Jan 22nd, 2008, 07:44 PM
NO!!! The friend that goes to Wimbledon does not even like Tennis and only goes because her grandpa gets free tickets for the members enclosure and royal box throughout the tourney 'cause he was ex vice chairman of the All England CLub! She doesn't really like it cause it is more like a social engagement. I wouldn't moan though!

makochan200
Jan 22nd, 2008, 10:15 PM
...
I managed to fly up in a helicopter thing, to see Melbourne from the top.

http://helco.sdvanime.com/jelena/jelenaheli01.jpg

http://www.smiliegenerator.de/s34/smilies-1258.png

Ian Aberdon
Jan 23rd, 2008, 09:27 AM
OH MY GOD GET OUTTA THE WAY!!! :haha:

Ian Aberdon
Feb 8th, 2008, 07:13 PM
DATELINE FEB 8 2008:

I guess I have some explaining to do. I know what you are all asking. Why am I back with Jumanji again, when Jamie makes me smile, laugh, etc. My friends, please do not be mad at me. Jumanji turned up to support me at the recent Fed Cup matches & offered to carry my racquets, paint my new house & give me a year's supply of paperclips. The way to a girl's heart I LOVE PAPERCLIPS, especially the coloured ones hahaha :hearts:. I did text Jamie in Argentina to explain, but I tried to call him & there was a strange gushing sound. It sounded like flowing water, I hope he is all right. I'm sure I'll see him soon. :)

Well, I am pleased to say we did fine in Fed Cup. Despite what everyone thinks, Ana & I got along just fine. We proved that with a demon doubles partnership. Actually I tried to hit Ana as she was crouching at the net, but my powderpuff serve could not reach her,hahaha. Just kidding. :) Ana & I went swimming afterwards to celebrate, Ana's treat...

Did you like the colourful hat? Even Ana took a turn! But then Ilie Nastase turned up shouting - he thought his pet parrot had escaped! Either that or he was drunk - by the way you may have seen me enjoying myself at the party for Serbia afterwards, but I was *hic* shober & NOT nissed as a pewt...

I have just had a text - I thought it was Jamie, it was his number, but its the Argentine River Board...how strange...

Better rest up, I have more painting to do, Jumanji has painted the house the wrong colour...

MEN!!!!

JJ :kiss:x

RFS
Feb 9th, 2008, 06:38 AM
Oh Rich - come on man- you need to keep the faith!

Ian Aberdon
Jul 1st, 2008, 09:26 PM
DATELINE WIMBLEDON 1 JULY 2008...THE DAY AFTER THE DAY BEFORE

Well my friends, it's been too long.

I wish I was writing under better times, but as you all know, I lost to a girl I have never heard of, I think she's related to some sort of Tiger.

So once again my attempts at winning a GS title, being No.1 in the world & dominating the world of tennis for the next 10yrs have passed me by again.

I thought it would be my year because Ana went home early, but when it came down to it, I was just as cr@p as her, you know?

Was it not outrageous that they stuck me out miles away on Court 18? I mean, I didn't even KNOW Wimbledon had a Court 18!! It was so far away from the lockers that I tired myself out & my knee flared up again before I got there. No wonder I lost. Plus I had to stop because all these cars were coming in & out. No chance to get into my rhythm. They tell me it used to be the local swimming pool.

And where was the Hawkeye? I knew I was beat when I realised that I could not make my challenges, you know? I looked at my coach & he just shrugged his shoulders. Mom was too busy gulping down water to notice :(

Anyway now I will take some time off to recover, maybe go back to the mountains in Serbia. I was there for a few days, that is why you have not heard for a while. I meant to write more sooner but I got lost in the mountains & they had to rescue me, haha. I met some nice people though & got drunk on the local plonk--err, I mean helped make the local drink. Well, it's better than shooting myself, no?

Which is what I felt like doing when Ana beat me at the French on her way to winning the title. I told her when she won well done, the second Serb girl to win a Grand Slam. She stomped off for some reason.

I see Jamie has cut his hair. I had nothing to do with it haha. I kept telling him Jamie, I will put it in a pony tail if you keep growing it, must have scared him! :) He says he cut it himself so that we can maybe play again together. If he also gets rid of that stupid red hairband then I'll think about it. He's playing with that Liezel Huber this year. She's a proper doubles player, he made a good choice, I think. But she isn't as good-looking or as popular as me, haha! :)

And HANDS OFF Liezel....you're not the only one that thinks Jamie's HOT!!!

Well, must go...I am about to be wrapped up in lots of bandages. No, it's not for Nemanja, I am so injured, you know? :)

Write to you all again soon...

L&K,
JJ :kiss:

becky.really
Jul 2nd, 2008, 07:23 PM
WOOP WOOP!!
not for nemanja LOL
hahahahahahahaha

Ian Aberdon
Sep 15th, 2008, 08:36 AM
DATELINE 15 SEPT 2008 - SUMMER LOVIN'

Yoo-hoo! :wavey:

Well I am getting ready for flying to Tokyo, Japan to compete in my next tournament. I believe I am No.1 seed & Ana is No.2, hahaha. Well deserved for my efforts & entertainment I think. I deserve an Ivor. (*psst...Jelena...it's an OSCAR*)

My friends, it's been quite a summer. I was at the Olympics in China. It was quite an experience representing my country, you know? But it was so hot & humid, you couldn't breathe over there. I got beat early, which was disappointing. But at least it gave me more time to head to the beach. Until I discovered there was no beach. OMG, what could I do? I was in my bikini & no beach. The crowd swarmed around me - it took me 2hrs to fight through the crowds. I wondered why there was a crowd, maybe a military parade or something - but when I got out, I realised they were looking at ME - I was the parade haha! :) But I got to see this Large Wall of China. I was very impressed - I think I will put up something like this for my house in America. Will be good to keep out the press when I'm at the ranch, although they are welcome for pizza & my Lepa Brena DVD collection, haha.

I then prepared for the US Open by playing at Toronto, to the north of North America (*psst Jelena - that's CANADA*). There I learned how to open & close an umbrella, ella, ella, ella...ahem. It was really difficult, it was a big umbrella, ella, ella, ella.

And so to New York for the USO. I made a slow start, but I got less injured the more I played & ended up making the Final. I got interviewed by Barbara Schett, she always makes me laugh. She has the same crazy humour as me hahaha. I played Serena in the final, but she played like a man & beat me. There was a big screen in the stadium, which was distracting me but I enjoyed watching it. I thought it was an episode of Friends, but it was in fact watching ME wearing glitter in my hair! :) I did my best, but on the day not quite enough. I was so distracted by the screen that I forgot how much money I won, I had to ask the rude announcer who kept taking the mic away from me for some reason? I mean, they had come to watch ME, not her. At least it gave me more money to spend, or I should say my MOM to spend, spending all my money! I hope she bought me more pairs of Laboutin shoes. And a year supply of burgers, I love New York, haha.

My friend Jamie made the MxD final with that South African girl, but lost (serves him right for choosing her over me!) I almost played MxD myself, but I decided I didn't fancy that Spaniard Verdasco after all, so pulled out!

I have been invited to LA next year, something about a ceremony. I may be in for some sort of award...

That's all for now, I have to prepare for Japan. Anyone got any sushi..?

JJ :kiss:

Brena
Sep 15th, 2008, 10:05 AM
DATELINE 15 SEPT 2008 - SUMMER LOVIN'

Yoo-hoo! :wavey:

Well I am getting ready for flying to Tokyo, Japan to compete in my next tournament. I believe I am No.1 seed & Ana is No.2, hahaha. Well deserved for my efforts & entertainment I think. I deserve an Ivor. (*psst...Jelena...it's an OSCAR*)

My friends, it's been quite a summer. I was at the Olympics in China. It was quite an experience representing my country, you know? But it was so hot & humid, you couldn't breathe over there. I got beat early, which was disappointing. But at least it gave me more time to head to the beach. Until I discovered there was no beach. OMG, what could I do? I was in my bikini & no beach. The crowd swarmed around me - it took me 2hrs to fight through the crowds. I wondered why there was a crowd, maybe a military parade or something - but when I got out, I realised they were looking at ME - I was the parade haha! :) But I got to see this Large Wall of China. I was very impressed - I think I will put up something like this for my house in America. Will be good to keep out the press when I'm at the ranch, although they are welcome for pizza & my Lepa Brena DVD collection, haha.

I then prepared for the US Open by playing at Toronto, to the north of North America (*psst Jelena - that's CANADA*). There I learned how to open & close an umbrella, ella, ella, ella...ahem. It was really difficult, it was a big umbrella, ella, ella, ella.

And so to New York for the USO. I made a slow start, but I got less injured the more I played & ended up making the Final. I got interviewed by Barbara Schett, she always makes me laugh. She has the same crazy humour as me hahaha. I played Serena in the final, but she played like a man & beat me. There was a big screen in the stadium, which was distracting me but I enjoyed watching it. I thought it was an episode of Friends, but it was in fact watching ME wearing glitter in my hair! :) I did my best, but on the day not quite enough. I was so distracted by the screen that I forgot how much money I won, I had to ask the rude announcer who kept taking the mic away from me for some reason? I mean, they had come to watch ME, not her. At least it gave me more money to spend, or I should say my MOM to spend, spending all my money! I hope she bought me more pairs of Laboutin shoes. And a year supply of burgers, I love New York, haha.

My friend Jamie made the MxD final with that South African girl, but lost (serves him right for choosing her over me!) I almost played MxD myself, but I decided I didn't fancy that Spaniard Verdasco after all, so pulled out!

I have been invited to LA next year, something about a ceremony. I may be in for some sort of award...

That's all for now, I have to prepare for Japan. Anyone got any sushi..?

JJ :kiss:


:rolls:

I especially love the bolded part - you really got into JJ's head, Rich!

дalex
Sep 15th, 2008, 10:19 AM
:haha: @ all of it.

Lovin' those hahas, Rich. They're all in the right places. :lol:

Ian Aberdon
Sep 15th, 2008, 10:23 AM
I do my homework, reading JJ's blogs! :lol:

But I mock 'cause I love. :inlove: :angel:

I love everything about JJ & I will defend her from critics to the hilt. WE (as her fans!) will do any criticising! :lol:

louisa.
Sep 15th, 2008, 11:07 AM
:lol:
love it. could easily pass as authentic JJ.

~Kiera~
Sep 15th, 2008, 11:41 AM
:lol:

Ian Aberdon
Sep 29th, 2008, 07:47 PM
DATELINE 29 SEPT 2008 - CHINA GIRL (translated)

Kind greetings to everyone by beautiful world smiling flower Jankovic of Serbia.

Arriving in Beijing where big cold for balls falling from brass monkeys.

Attended Players Party of aimless standing around drumming, me & Vera Zvonareva hahaha. David Ferrer next to chatting up, mistake of show him assets vital!:) Many slippings of dress. Steamed up gossip over Ana & Verdasco.

Ana puppy of Belgrade home in early sex scandal, knocked out.

Into world war of final with Kuznetowa of hairy eyebrow, 63 62. Won trophy with beauty of smile & leggings of 1983. Microphone with the hog, speech to bore, tennis racket to Chairman Maio. Much cowboys with music of Seven the Magnificant.:)

After dinner for Zheng Jie, La La, Tinky Winky & Po. Much of eating, too much to burping haha!

Much proudness for being World War winner in China - now on for fight to Stuttgart.

Serna Williams fight for universe of No.1. With much gloss on lip & hair to glittering, JJ to trump.

:wavey:

дalex
Sep 29th, 2008, 08:59 PM
:haha:

You fan of Teletubbies Rich?

Ian Aberdon
Sep 29th, 2008, 09:13 PM
Always fancied the purple one Alex! ;)

I should have written:

"Ana Puppy of Belgrade in all-nighter scandal of sex - conked out." :lol:

redsonja
Sep 29th, 2008, 09:41 PM
:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: That was beautiful.

Brena
Sep 29th, 2008, 11:02 PM
:haha: :haha:
I'll print this out to read it when I feel down - king of the universe monologue from Scotland craziness Rich :worship::worship::worship:

louisa.
Sep 29th, 2008, 11:43 PM
:rolls: :rolls:
brilliant!

Tashi
Sep 29th, 2008, 11:59 PM
:haha::haha::worship::worship:

Ian Aberdon
Sep 30th, 2008, 06:39 PM
Awww thanks guys! :hug:

You will not believe how difficult of bloody it was to write like that! :lol:

Cheered me up as well, bit of a sh!t time at work just now! :)