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View Full Version : Third Annual WTAWorld Halloween Story


miffedmax
Oct 17th, 2007, 03:48 AM
OPEN ON A SHOT OF A GOTHIC HOUSE ATOP A SMALL HILL. IT IS RAINING HEAVILY, AND LIGHTING BOLTS FLASH ACROSS THE SKY. ONE FLASH ILLUMINATES A SIGN ON THE GATE: ďWTAWORLD HOME FOR RETIRED TENNIS PLAYERS.Ē

A BLACK BMW X3 PULLS UP NEXT TO THE GATE. THE DOOR OPENS, AND A FAMILIAR BLONDE FINDS HERSELF SITTING IN THE MUD LOOKING UP THE BMW.

LENA D:
But Mommy Vera, I just won the biggest tournament of my life! I donít want retire!

MOMMY VERA (FROM INSIDE THE BMW)

Donít be ridiculous, useless daughter. It is clear that you and Serena are both washed up. Beating aged, injured, out-of-practice McDonaldís scarfing American is proof of nothing. That, and you have some nerve, hiring new coach instead of I, who labored for hours to bring your empty head into this world.Ē

LENA D:
But Mommy Vera . . . itís my birthday . . .

MOMMY VERA:
I gave you ride all the way to gates of rest home. And you want more? What an ungrateful, horrible daughter!

LENA D:
But Mommy . . .

MV:
No more butts! Busy Mother had time to coach only one big-nosed, blonde with all sorts of psychological issues!

A HUGE CRASH OF THUNDER EXPLODES! THE BACK WINDOW OF THE SUV ROLLS DOWN AND SESIL STICKS HER HEAD OUT.

SESIL:
You see? You see? My return IS thunderous! Bwa ha ha ha ha!

LENA:
This is so not fair. Can I at least have a ride up to the home?

MV:
No. I just had your car detailed, and I donít want to get it covered in blood . . . I mean mud.

THE BMW ROARS OFF, LEAVING LENA ALONE AT THE GATE. SHE MOVES TOWARD ITóWITH A GROANING CREEK IT SWINGS OPEN AS THOUGH PUSHED BY AN UNSEEN HAND.

LENA BEGINS TRUDGING UP THE HILL.

CUT TO THE FRONT PORCH OF THE HOSPITAL. LENA HAS LOST ONE OF HER YONEXģ SHOES IN THE MUCK. A WET AND BEDRAGGLED VEE AND REE WAIT BY THE DOOR.

LENA:
What happened to you?

VEE:
Iím not sure . . . I was in Asia, playing some tournaments, then I remember falling asleep in the lounge and I woke up here . . .

REE:
I was going to the hospital to get my leg taken care of, and I ended up here instead.

VEE:
And then your mom pulls up and dumps you here in the mud . . .

REE:
Something suspicious is going on.

LENA;
Not really. Mommy Vera dumps me in the mud all the time . . .

VEE:
And you lost a final to her?

REE:
Man! Maybe I do belong here . . .

JUST THEN, THE DOOR OPENS . . .

mckyle.
Oct 17th, 2007, 03:51 AM
the suspense is killing me!

doni1212
Oct 17th, 2007, 03:55 AM
What the hell was that? Can I request a new writer? I can do better than that shit, :rolleyes:

mckyle.
Oct 17th, 2007, 04:00 AM
umm, it's a cliffhanger. be patient.

doni1212
Oct 17th, 2007, 04:22 AM
I know what it is. I'm just saying the storyline is stupid. Bad writing, comprendes? :rolleyes:

IceHock
Oct 17th, 2007, 04:23 AM
I know what it is. I'm just saying the storyline is stupid. Bad writing, comprendes? :rolleyes:



Are you on ur period 24/7? Cause all you do is bitch on this website. How nice of you too to dis someone who takes time to write these,, how about you do one then we'll critique you.

Junex
Oct 17th, 2007, 04:26 AM
What the hell was that? Can I request a new writer? I can do better than that shit, :rolleyes:

I so hope you are being sarcastic...
Max and the LRCs are so bringing the boards down!!!!!

When will the next installment come out Max...?
:bounce:

LudwigDvorak
Oct 17th, 2007, 04:26 AM
I suppose someone who probably doesn't even know who Sesil is wouldn't have found that bit amusing.

Good suspense so far, Max! :yeah: Can't wait to read the rest.

"And you lost a final to her" :lol:

Junex
Oct 17th, 2007, 04:28 AM
I am specially loving that Sesil has a cameo!!!! :devil:

hahaha!!!!

doni1212
Oct 17th, 2007, 04:31 AM
Are you on ur period 24/7? Cause all you do is bitch on this website. How nice of you too to dis someone who takes time to write these,, how about you do one then we'll critique you.

You honestly don't want me to write one. But I would love to, :devil:

The Kaz
Oct 17th, 2007, 04:31 AM
Good Start :yeah:

IceHock
Oct 17th, 2007, 04:32 AM
no go for it, use your dumb daniela jokes, use whatever you want doni, go for it.

Junex
Oct 17th, 2007, 04:43 AM
Are you on ur period 24/7? Cause all you do is bitch on this website. How nice of you too to dis someone who takes time to write these,, how about you do one then we'll critique you.

No she had a SLAM (Serena-Lost-A-Match) Syndrome!!!

doni1212
Oct 17th, 2007, 05:04 AM
no go for it, use your dumb daniela jokes, use whatever you want doni, go for it.

Haha, finished it. And mine is most certainly better.
Go ahead and talk shit, haters :devil:

IceHock
Oct 17th, 2007, 05:07 AM
i dont see it

IceHock
Oct 17th, 2007, 05:08 AM
ahhh another thread

taddict
Oct 17th, 2007, 05:41 AM
No she had a SLAM (Serena-Lost-A-Match) Syndrome!!!

:haha: :haha: :haha:

taddict
Oct 17th, 2007, 05:42 AM
That's great Miffedmax :lol:

When's the next instalment?

V-MAC
Oct 17th, 2007, 11:15 AM
:yeah: Good stuff.
I'm tempted to write something like that but it would probably get trashed like Doni's :o :unsure:

Harju.
Oct 17th, 2007, 05:33 PM
*butt bumps*
:angel:

miffedmax
Oct 19th, 2007, 04:01 AM
The story resumes--for them what care, and for them what don't well, the Lord love ya anyway.

JUST THEN, THE DOOR OPENS . . .

AND KIM APPEARS IN THE DOORWAY.

KIM:

Welcome to the WTAWorld Retirement home! I’m so sure you’ll like it here! Tonight we’re having mush with soy milk and rice pudding for dessert!

VEE:

Hi Kim. What’s going on here?

KIM:
Well, you know, you’re retired. That wing over there is the Hall of Champions. Your rooms are almost ready. Over there is the lovely One Slam Wonder Wing . . .

MYSKINA IS HANGING UPSIDE DOWN FROM THE DOOR FRAME OF THE HALL LEADING TO THE OSW WING, WRAPPED IN A BLACK CAPE.

NASTY:
I already told you! I’m not fucking retired yet! I can win another fucking Slam, I just need my fucking foot to heal.

KIM:
She’s been like that every since she got here . . . oh, hello Martina!

HINGIS WALKS UP.

MARTINA:
Am I coming or going? I can’t keep it straight.

KIM:
I think you’re coming this time.

ELENA:
So I can’t be in the One Slam Wonder wing. Am I in the champions wing?

KIM:
(laughs) No, dear silly Elena. You’re over there, in the Dysfunctional Parent Held Me Back Wing.

ELENA:
The what?

(DOKIC APPEARS IN A DOORWAY.)

JELENA:
Run! Run while you still can! This place is horrible! The rooms are dark and small, with no heat and full of spiders and fleas and . . .

LENA:
You mean I’ll have my very own room? This is a wonderful place!

VEE & REE exchange nervous glances.

KIM:
Oh, don’t be worried. Some people say that because this is a former insane asylum built on an ancient Indian burial ground that it’s haunted, but really . . .

KIM IS INTERRUPTED BY A GHOSTLY MOAN FLOATING DOWN THE CORRIDOR LEADING TO THE HALL OF CHAMPIONS . . .

LudwigDvorak
Oct 19th, 2007, 04:29 AM
LMAO! That is gold. Particularly the Myskina and Dokic parts.

SvetaPleaseWin.
Oct 19th, 2007, 04:35 AM
KIM:
I think youíre coming this time.


wrong on so many levels :o (:worship: )

have you considered being an author? look at how much j.k.rowling has made and she cant write for shit-youve got the gift my friend

give me some cliched sveta please!!!

LindsayRulz
Oct 19th, 2007, 05:02 AM
miffedmax :worship: :lol:

bestohb
Oct 19th, 2007, 06:26 AM
Ha Ha Ha! Are you a comedy writer?

darrinbaker00
Oct 19th, 2007, 07:05 AM
KIM:
(laughs) No, dear silly Elena. Youíre over there, in the Dysfunctional Parent Held Me Back Wing.
With Alex Stevenson occupying the master bedroom, of course. ;)

Nicjac
Oct 19th, 2007, 08:33 AM
GOLD - as usual. Thanks Max, keep'em coming :worship:

Hashim.
Oct 19th, 2007, 10:39 AM
:worship::haha:

miffedmax
Oct 23rd, 2007, 11:54 PM
The horror . . . the horror . . .

KIM IS INTERRUPTED BY A GHOSTLY MOAN FLOATING DOWN THE CORRIDOR LEADING TO THE HALL OF CHAMPIONS . . .


ENTER MARTINA NAVRATILOVA IN WHEELCHAIR:

MARTINA:
Wooooooo!! I think I just figured out a way to win me some more slams!

ENTER MARION AND SVETA.

VEE:
Why are you here?

SVETA:

Sveta not sure. Sveta just wanted to retire for one match, not permanently. Sveta like to play tennis.

MARION (SNIFFING)
MMMMM. I smell mush!

MARY WALKS OUT OF THE HALL LEADING FROM THE HALL OF DYFUNCTIONAL PARENTS CARRYING A PILLOW AND A TOOTHBRUSH.

REE:
Where are you going, Mary?

MARY:

Oh, it’s so screwy here. I have to spend one week in the Hall of Dysfunctional Parents Held Me Back, and the next in the Hall of Champions. Just be glad your in that one. In the Hall of Dysfunctional Parents, the beds are crawling with lice and the blankets . . .

KIM:
Are made of lovely Belgian wool . . .

MARY:
Belgian steel wool!

LENA:
Blankets? Bed! Is there no end to the luxuries here? I remember once, when I won a tournament in Florida, Mommy Vera let me sleep on a floor with real carpet! I’ve never forgotten how nice it was.

KIM:

Well, as I said, none of your rooms are ready. So you’ll have to come with me.

THE LADIES FOLLOW KIM THROUGH A MAZE OF TUNNELS, TRYING TO IGNORE THE SCREAMS AND CREEPY NOISES THAT ECHO IN THE DISTANCE..

KIM STOPS IN FRONT OF A PAIR OF FROSTED GLASS DOORS WITH LETTERING “MATERNITY WARD.”

KIM:
You’ll all spend the night in here.

KIM OPENS THE DOOR. THE WOMEN PEER IN. THE FIRST THING THEY SEE IS A STRAIGHJACKETED ALG TIED INTO A BED.

ANNA LENA:
How many times to I have to tell you I’m NOT pregnant.

SESIL IS IN THE NEXT BED:

SESIL:
How many times do I have to tell you I AM pregnant!

LENA D:
Why aren’t you with Mommy Vera?

SESIL:
Why? Why? Because she’s such an evil old wackjob she makes you look normal.

LENA D:
Ha. Serves you right. Nobody can win a Slam without Mommy Vera as their coach.

VEE:
Uh, Lena?

SVETA:
Please, let pretty blonde girl think is so. Otherwise she may do something awful.

REE:
Like what?
SVETA:
She might do victory dance. Like in Moscow.

REE:
Now, I’m not one to stereotype . . .

MARION:
I thought it was white men who can’t dance.

LENA:
Mommy Vera says I dance as well as I serve.

VEE:
Never thought I’d see the day when I agreed with Mommy Vera.

KIM:

Please, just make yourself home.

ENTER LINDS:

What? Did all you losers think you could win by becoming a mother like me?

LENA:
Ha. Why would I want to be a mommy when I have a mommy?

JUST THEN A HORRIBLE, CACKLING LAUGHTER ECHOES THROUGH THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY THE SOUND OF INCONSOLABLE WEEPING . . .

spencercarlos
Oct 24th, 2007, 12:12 AM
The horror . . . the horror . . .

KIM IS INTERRUPTED BY A GHOSTLY MOAN FLOATING DOWN THE CORRIDOR LEADING TO THE HALL OF CHAMPIONS . . .


ENTER MARTINA NAVRATILOVA IN WHEELCHAIR:

MARTINA:
Wooooooo!! I think I just figured out a way to win me some more slams!

ENTER MARION AND SVETA.

VEE:
Why are you here?

SVETA:

Sveta not sure. Sveta just wanted to retire for one match, not permanently. Sveta like to play tennis.

MARION (SNIFFING)
MMMMM. I smell mush!

MARY WALKS OUT OF THE HALL LEADING FROM THE HALL OF DYFUNCTIONAL PARENTS CARRYING A PILLOW AND A TOOTHBRUSH.

REE:
Where are you going, Mary?

MARY:

Oh, it’s so screwy here. I have to spend one week in the Hall of Dysfunctional Parents Held Me Back, and the next in the Hall of Champions. Just be glad your in that one. In the Hall of Dysfunctional Parents, the beds are crawling with lice and the blankets . . .

KIM:
Are made of lovely Belgian wool . . .

MARY:
Belgian steel wool!

LENA:
Blankets? Bed! Is there no end to the luxuries here? I remember once, when I won a tournament in Florida, Mommy Vera let me sleep on a floor with real carpet! I’ve never forgotten how nice it was.

KIM:

Well, as I said, none of your rooms are ready. So you’ll have to come with me.

THE LADIES FOLLOW KIM THROUGH A MAZE OF TUNNELS, TRYING TO IGNORE THE SCREAMS AND CREEPY NOISES THAT ECHO IN THE DISTANCE..

KIM STOPS IN FRONT OF A PAIR OF FROSTED GLASS DOORS WITH LETTERING “MATERNITY WARD.”

KIM:
You’ll all spend the night in here.

KIM OPENS THE DOOR. THE WOMEN PEER IN. THE FIRST THING THEY SEE IS A STRAIGHJACKETED ALG TIED INTO A BED.

ANNA LENA:
How many times to I have to tell you I’m NOT pregnant.

SESIL IS IN THE NEXT BED:

SESIL:
How many times do I have to tell you I AM pregnant!

LENA D:
Why aren’t you with Mommy Vera?

SESIL:
Why? Why? Because she’s such an evil old wackjob she makes you look normal.

LENA D:
Ha. Serves you right. Nobody can win a Slam without Mommy Vera as their coach.

VEE:
Uh, Lena?

SVETA:
Please, let pretty blonde girl think is so. Otherwise she may do something awful.

REE:
Like what?
SVETA:
She might do victory dance. Like in Moscow.

REE:
Now, I’m not one to stereotype . . .

MARION:
I thought it was white men who can’t dance.

LENA:
Mommy Vera says I dance as well as I serve.

VEE:
Never thought I’d see the day when I agreed with Mommy Vera.

KIM:

Please, just make yourself home.

ENTER LINDS:

What? Did all you losers think you could win by becoming a mother like me?

LENA:
Ha. Why would I want to be a mommy when I have a mommy?

JUST THEN A HORRIBLE, CACKLING LAUGHTER ECHOES THROUGH THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY THE SOUND OF INCONSOLABLE WEEPING . . .
AMazing stuff you are really good!!

Derek.
Oct 24th, 2007, 12:48 AM
:lol: :yeah:

dybbuk
Oct 24th, 2007, 12:55 AM
Amazing like always. :worship:

Tennace
Oct 24th, 2007, 01:42 AM
:spit: The ALG part :haha: :spit: :tape:

Mateo Mathieu
Oct 24th, 2007, 01:44 AM
Keep it up! :lol: The Anna-Lena and Sesil parts were hilarious!

LudwigDvorak
Oct 24th, 2007, 01:47 AM
I'm not sure how anyone thinks you're as cheap as doni. Sure there's cheap shots and some crude humor, but overall, very clever funny stuff. :yeah:

plantman
Oct 24th, 2007, 05:46 AM
I know what it is. I'm just saying the storyline is stupid. Bad writing, comprendes? :rolleyes:

Don't feel bad Doni.....A lot of people have no talent. You're one of them!!!!!:lol: :lol:

darrinbaker00
Oct 24th, 2007, 06:25 AM
The horror . . . the horror . . .

KIM IS INTERRUPTED BY A GHOSTLY MOAN FLOATING DOWN THE CORRIDOR LEADING TO THE HALL OF CHAMPIONS . . .


ENTER MARTINA NAVRATILOVA IN WHEELCHAIR:

MARTINA:
Wooooooo!! I think I just figured out a way to win me some more slams!

ENTER MARION AND SVETA.

VEE:
Why are you here?

SVETA:

Sveta not sure. Sveta just wanted to retire for one match, not permanently. Sveta like to play tennis.

MARION (SNIFFING)
MMMMM. I smell mush!

MARY WALKS OUT OF THE HALL LEADING FROM THE HALL OF DYFUNCTIONAL PARENTS CARRYING A PILLOW AND A TOOTHBRUSH.

REE:
Where are you going, Mary?

MARY:

Oh, itís so screwy here. I have to spend one week in the Hall of Dysfunctional Parents Held Me Back, and the next in the Hall of Champions. Just be glad your in that one. In the Hall of Dysfunctional Parents, the beds are crawling with lice and the blankets . . .

KIM:
Are made of lovely Belgian wool . . .

MARY:
Belgian steel wool!

LENA:
Blankets? Bed! Is there no end to the luxuries here? I remember once, when I won a tournament in Florida, Mommy Vera let me sleep on a floor with real carpet! Iíve never forgotten how nice it was.

KIM:

Well, as I said, none of your rooms are ready. So youíll have to come with me.

THE LADIES FOLLOW KIM THROUGH A MAZE OF TUNNELS, TRYING TO IGNORE THE SCREAMS AND CREEPY NOISES THAT ECHO IN THE DISTANCE..

KIM STOPS IN FRONT OF A PAIR OF FROSTED GLASS DOORS WITH LETTERING ďMATERNITY WARD.Ē

KIM:
Youíll all spend the night in here.

KIM OPENS THE DOOR. THE WOMEN PEER IN. THE FIRST THING THEY SEE IS A STRAIGHJACKETED ALG TIED INTO A BED.

ANNA LENA:
How many times to I have to tell you Iím NOT pregnant.

SESIL IS IN THE NEXT BED:

SESIL:
How many times do I have to tell you I AM pregnant!

LENA D:
Why arenít you with Mommy Vera?

SESIL:
Why? Why? Because sheís such an evil old wackjob she makes you look normal.

LENA D:
Ha. Serves you right. Nobody can win a Slam without Mommy Vera as their coach.

VEE:
Uh, Lena?

SVETA:
Please, let pretty blonde girl think is so. Otherwise she may do something awful.

REE:
Like what?
SVETA:
She might do victory dance. Like in Moscow.

REE:
Now, Iím not one to stereotype . . .

MARION:
I thought it was white men who canít dance.

LENA:
Mommy Vera says I dance as well as I serve.

VEE:
Never thought Iíd see the day when I agreed with Mommy Vera.

KIM:

Please, just make yourself home.

ENTER LINDS:

What? Did all you losers think you could win by becoming a mother like me?

LENA:
Ha. Why would I want to be a mommy when I have a mommy?

JUST THEN A HORRIBLE, CACKLING LAUGHTER ECHOES THROUGH THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY THE SOUND OF INCONSOLABLE WEEPING . . .
Too good, Max. Just too good. I must :bowdown: to your superior wit.

ťgalitť
Oct 24th, 2007, 06:31 AM
You honestly don't want me to write one. But I would love to, :devil:

Well, what do you know?! Turns out she was right. :spit:

Amazing, Max, btw :worship:

LindsayRulz
Oct 24th, 2007, 06:40 AM
ENTER MARTINA NAVRATILOVA IN WHEELCHAIR:

MARTINA:
Wooooooo!! I think I just figured out a way to win me some more slams!



KIM OPENS THE DOOR. THE WOMEN PEER IN. THE FIRST THING THEY SEE IS A STRAIGHJACKETED ALG TIED INTO A BED.

ANNA LENA:
How many times to I have to tell you Iím NOT pregnant.

SESIL IS IN THE NEXT BED:

SESIL:
How many times do I have to tell you I AM pregnant!




:haha:

Привет
Oct 24th, 2007, 10:35 AM
:haha: Funny stuff!

Hashim.
Oct 24th, 2007, 04:43 PM
:haha::yeah:

Harju.
Oct 24th, 2007, 05:10 PM
:rolls:
Keep them coming please.

Justineladivine
Oct 24th, 2007, 07:24 PM
Pure gold, as usual. Man, you've really got to get all those stories you've written together and sell them in the form of a book. I guarantee I won't be the only one buying it and putting it on a shelf within easy reach so that I can grab it quickly whenever I need a good laugh. And yet I should hate you for making me spit out hot capucino all over my desk with helpless laughter.
The line below had me literally rolling on the floor (and I won't even mention the Groenenfeld/Sesil pregnancy skit)


LENA:
Blankets? Bed! Is there no end to the luxuries here? I remember once, when I won a tournament in Florida, Mommy Vera let me sleep on a floor with real carpet! Iíve never forgotten how nice it was.

Alenyaa
Oct 24th, 2007, 08:55 PM
Great work, Max. Noone writes these like you do! :yeah:
Can't wait for part three!

meyerpl
Oct 25th, 2007, 03:34 AM
Three things I look forward to most about Halloween:
1. Pumpkin carving and everything about it; seeing what the kids come up with for faces, the smell of the candle burning the pumpkin and fresh roasted seeds.
2. Trick or treat night; the kids in costumes, putting up decorations, goofy Halloween songs and TOO MUCH CANDY.
3. Max's Halloween story!

Not necessarly in that order either.

Keep the creative juices flowing Max, I'm dyin' here!

meyerpl
Oct 25th, 2007, 03:41 AM
Keep it up! :lol: The Anna-Lena and Sesil parts were hilarious!
That made me laugh so hard I think I cracked a rib.

miffedmax
Oct 28th, 2007, 04:52 PM
THE HORRIBLE CACKLING LAUGHTER GROWS LOUDER, AS DOES THE INCONSOLABLE WEEPING.

SUDDENLY, THE ROOM IS PLUNGED INTO DARKNESS.

REE:
Oh, not again! Every damn Halloween we end up trapped somewhere!

THERE IS A CREAKING SOUND, LIKE A DOOR OPENNING . . .

MARION:
Who is that? Did you bring anything to eat?

ANOTHER CREAKING DOOR OPENS.

SESIL:
Identify yourself, or I’ll kick your ass.

VOICE IN THE DARK:

Allez, allez! As ze No. 1 player, it is up to me to lead us to safety.

SECOND VOICE IN THE DARK:

You? Lead us? We don’t think so. We are the Queen here.

MARION:
Juju, Masha, is that you?

SVETA:
Yes, Sveta recognize voice of fellow Russian Fed Cup member. Sveta happy to have more friends here.

MASHA:
Yes, it is us. We are sure you are all kow-towing appropriately.

JUJU:

Where is Kim, that faux Belgian quitter? What is the horrible laughing, weeping voice?

A FLASH OF LIGHTNING ILLUMINATES THE ROOM, REVEALING A LINE OF GLASSY EYED PEOPLE, WALKING SINGLE FILE. THE LEADER AT THE FRONT SAYS “MOSCOW” AND THE OTHER LAUGH MERRILY. HE SAYS “LINZ” AND THEY ALL WEEP BITTERLY.

LINDS:

Who are those horrific, pathetic and obviously manic depressive zombies.

LENA:

Uh, I think those are some of my fans.

THE FANS RECEDE INTO THE DARKNESS.

LENA:
They are so sweet. So loyal . . .

VEE:
So gullible . . .

SESIL:
So delusional . . .

MASHA:

We are so glad we have just signed an endorsement deal with Maglite.

MARION:

I am considering deals with Pillsbury, Betty Crocker, Duncan Hines . . .

MASHA TURNS ON A HUGE INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH FLASHLIGHT AND HANDS IT TO SVETA.

Here. You hold it. It is beneath our dignity to carry such a thing. And our shoulder hurts.

LENA:
Once, I hurt my shoulder. Would you like me to show you how to serve with a hurt shoulder?

MASHA:
We would rather switch to being a lefty, like you know who.

VEE:
Speaking of Ole Looney, why isn’t she here? It is an old asylum.

REE:

Well, I’m not spending the night here. We got the flashlight. Let’s go . . .

To be continued and hopefully finished soon

*JR*
Oct 28th, 2007, 05:03 PM
Why does my Peppermint Pincushion never make it into the LRC's? *mad* (In a err, different way than she is).

Slutiana
Oct 28th, 2007, 05:04 PM
noo, i don't want it to ever be finished! :p

DimaDinosaur
Oct 28th, 2007, 05:04 PM
:lick:

stevos
Oct 28th, 2007, 06:20 PM
Genius! ;worship;

Max, you are too good. Except Doni's is 200X better, it's nice that you try. ;wink;

I love Masha's character. Makes me love her even more.
And the fans. ;haha;

Mileen
Oct 28th, 2007, 06:33 PM
Wow, great! No, I don't want it to be finished, please write on!!...and on!!

Alenyaa
Oct 28th, 2007, 06:41 PM
Wow Max, that's a staggering, spot-on assessment of Lena fans ;lol;

Justineladivine
Oct 28th, 2007, 07:26 PM
Please don't ever think that I'm being merely sycophantic in my constant laudatory comments on your writing and dramatic genius I'm just relishing every snippet of it.
In other more mundane terms:
Keep up the good work, mate.
Carry on as long as inspiration doesn't desert you (as if such a thing were possible...)
Well, since Elena is your muse, no wonder what you do is so beautiful.

black_fire
Oct 28th, 2007, 07:46 PM
ANOTHER CREAKING DOOR OPENS.

SESIL:
Identify yourself, or Iíll kick your ass.




:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Great story, now I like Sesil even more than before :lol:
Keep on writing! :wavey:

Ballbasher
Oct 28th, 2007, 08:29 PM
Keep it goin :haha: Bring some unknown people in everyone wonders who they are :p

Maria Croft
Oct 28th, 2007, 08:57 PM
The story resumes--for them what care, and for them what don't well, the Lord love ya anyway.

JUST THEN, THE DOOR OPENS . . .

AND KIM APPEARS IN THE DOORWAY.

KIM:

Welcome to the WTAWorld Retirement home! Iím so sure youíll like it here! Tonight weíre having mush with soy milk and rice pudding for dessert!

VEE:

Hi Kim. Whatís going on here?

KIM:
Well, you know, youíre retired. That wing over there is the Hall of Champions. Your rooms are almost ready. Over there is the lovely One Slam Wonder Wing . . .

MYSKINA IS HANGING UPSIDE DOWN FROM THE DOOR FRAME OF THE HALL LEADING TO THE OSW WING, WRAPPED IN A BLACK CAPE.

NASTY:
I already told you! Iím not fucking retired yet! I can win another fucking Slam, I just need my fucking foot to heal.

KIM:
Sheís been like that every since she got here . . . oh, hello Martina!

HINGIS WALKS UP.

MARTINA:
Am I coming or going? I canít keep it straight.

KIM:
I think youíre coming this time.

ELENA:
So I canít be in the One Slam Wonder wing. Am I in the champions wing?

KIM:
(laughs) No, dear silly Elena. Youíre over there, in the Dysfunctional Parent Held Me Back Wing.

ELENA:
The what?

(DOKIC APPEARS IN A DOORWAY.)

JELENA:
Run! Run while you still can! This place is horrible! The rooms are dark and small, with no heat and full of spiders and fleas and . . .

LENA:
You mean Iíll have my very own room? This is a wonderful place!

VEE & REE exchange nervous glances.

KIM:
Oh, donít be worried. Some people say that because this is a former insane asylum built on an ancient Indian burial ground that itís haunted, but really . . .

KIM IS INTERRUPTED BY A GHOSTLY MOAN FLOATING DOWN THE CORRIDOR LEADING TO THE HALL OF CHAMPIONS . . .


The best part for me :yeah:

But they are all great :)

miffedmax
Oct 29th, 2007, 08:55 PM
THE LADIES EXIT THE MATERNITY WARD, EXCEPT FOR LINDS WHO JUST WANTS TO GO TO SLEEP. TRUST ME, I’VE GOT KIDS, I’VE BEEN THERE.

IN THE HALL, A GHOSTLY, FLICKERING ANA IVANOVIC APPEARS, MOTIONING FOR THEM TO FOLLOW.

SVETA STARTS TO CRY.

SVETA (BETWEEN SOBS)
Poor, nice Ana. Sveta like her. Now she is ghost.

REE:
Don’t you think one of us would have heard about it if a Top 10 player died?

LENA:
Not if you were watching ESPN.

VEE:
She has a point . . .

JUJU:
Well, Ana was so kind in real life and so nice . . . I’m sure her ghost wouldn’t want to do us any harm . . .

SESIL:
Sweetness is SO overrated.

NEVERTHELESS, THE WOMEN FOLLOW THE BECKONING SHADE INTO A LONG CORRIDOR. SUDDENLY, THE DOORS AT THE ENDS OF THE CORRIDOR SLAM SHUT. A DARK, SWEET-SMELLING OOZE STARTS TO CASCADE DOWN THE WALLS. . .

LENA AND MARION:

CHOCOLATE!!!!

THEY BEGIN TO LICK THE WALLS.

MASHA:
Oh, no, we don’t need another breakout!

THE TIDE OF CHOCOLATE BEGINS TO RISE UP TO WASTE LEVEL, STICKING TO EVERYONE EXCEPT SESIL.

SESIL:

You fools! Don’t you see? Ana’s ghost is trying to get revenge by making you as sweet as she was—but turning you into Halloween candy!!!

REE:
Oh, she’s right! Whatever will we do!

THE GIRLS CAN BARELY MOVE AS THE CONGEALING CHOCOLATE IS UP TO THEIR NECKS, AND NOW A LAYER OF GOOEY CARAMEL IS FALLING FROM THE CEILING.

MARION:
This is a stupid, stupid plot. Trying to drown me in sweets is like trying to drown Amelie in wine, or Masha in endorsement contracts!

MARION OPENS HER MOUTH WIDE AND BEGINS TO INHALE. WITHIN SECONDS ALL THE CHOCOLATE, CARAMEL, LENA’S YONEX® VISOR AND THE FAR DOOR HAVE ALL DISAPPEARED.

MARION.
Le burp.

LENA:
But we are still covered from head to toe in chocolate! Mommy Vera will be so mad me for being such a mess!

SVETA:
Sveta will just have to lick everybody clean, verschitnzel?

MASHA:

You will do no such thing. Luckily, we have just signed an endorsement contract with Wet-Wipes. (MASHA PRODUCES A HUGE NUMBER OF MOIST CLEANING TOWELETTES, WITH WHICH THE LADIES ARE ABLE TO REMOVE MOST OF THE CHOCOLATE).

SVETA:
Sveta still like her plan better.

SUDDENLY, THE FLASHLIGHT DIES! ALL IS PLUNGED INTO DARKNESS.

MARION:

I’m afraid. I want my daddy.

LENA:

I’m afraid. I want my mommy.

MASHA:

We are afraid. We want our daddy, too.

HINGIS

I want the ATP.

VEE:
Where did you come from?

HINGIS:
I never know whether I’m coming or going around here. I just took a wrong turn, and here I was.

JUJU:
Well, there is only one way out of here. Allez! We must move forward . . .

Princeza
Oct 29th, 2007, 09:07 PM
This is a stupid, stupid plot. Trying to drown me in sweets is like trying to drown Amelie in wine, or Masha in endorsement contracts!

.

:haha: :haha:

Watching
Oct 29th, 2007, 09:18 PM
Lol that last bit was the best so far max. hilarious.

Slutiana
Oct 29th, 2007, 09:27 PM
:haha: oh that is still hilarious. Love the maria endorsement bit and the 'Allez.. we must move on' :lol:

Derek.
Oct 29th, 2007, 10:40 PM
SVETA STARTS TO CRY.

SVETA (BETWEEN SOBS)
Poor, nice Ana. Sveta like her. Now she is ghost.

MARION:
This is a stupid, stupid plot. Trying to drown me in sweets is like trying to drown Amelie in wine, or Masha in endorsement contracts!

MARION OPENS HER MOUTH WIDE AND BEGINS TO INHALE. WITHIN SECONDS ALL THE CHOCOLATE, CARAMEL, LENAíS YONEXģ VISOR AND THE FAR DOOR HAVE ALL DISAPPEARED.

MARION:

Iím afraid. I want my daddy.

LENA:

Iím afraid. I want my mommy.

MASHA:

We are afraid. We want our daddy, too.

HINGIS

I want the ATP.

JUJU:
Well, there is only one way out of here. Allez! We must move forward . . .


:spit:

Europe rocks
Oct 29th, 2007, 10:47 PM
Haha! Great as always Max! Keep up the good work :)

AmeDevotee
Oct 29th, 2007, 10:48 PM
THE LADIES EXIT THE MATERNITY WARD, EXCEPT FOR LINDS WHO JUST WANTS TO GO TO SLEEP. TRUST ME, IíVE GOT KIDS, IíVE BEEN THERE.

IN THE HALL, A GHOSTLY, FLICKERING ANA IVANOVIC APPEARS, MOTIONING FOR THEM TO FOLLOW.

SVETA STARTS TO CRY.

SVETA (BETWEEN SOBS)
Poor, nice Ana. Sveta like her. Now she is ghost.

REE:
Donít you think one of us would have heard about it if a Top 10 player died?

LENA:
Not if you were watching ESPN.

VEE:
She has a point . . .

JUJU:
Well, Ana was so kind in real life and so nice . . . Iím sure her ghost wouldnít want to do us any harm . . .

SESIL:
Sweetness is SO overrated.

NEVERTHELESS, THE WOMEN FOLLOW THE BECKONING SHADE INTO A LONG CORRIDOR. SUDDENLY, THE DOORS AT THE ENDS OF THE CORRIDOR SLAM SHUT. A DARK, SWEET-SMELLING OOZE STARTS TO CASCADE DOWN THE WALLS. . .

LENA AND MARION:

CHOCOLATE!!!!

THEY BEGIN TO LICK THE WALLS.

MASHA:
Oh, no, we donít need another breakout!

THE TIDE OF CHOCOLATE BEGINS TO RISE UP TO WASTE LEVEL, STICKING TO EVERYONE EXCEPT SESIL.

SESIL:

You fools! Donít you see? Anaís ghost is trying to get revenge by making you as sweet as she wasóbut turning you into Halloween candy!!!

REE:
Oh, sheís right! Whatever will we do!

THE GIRLS CAN BARELY MOVE AS THE CONGEALING CHOCOLATE IS UP TO THEIR NECKS, AND NOW A LAYER OF GOOEY CARAMEL IS FALLING FROM THE CEILING.

MARION:
This is a stupid, stupid plot. Trying to drown me in sweets is like trying to drown Amelie in wine, or Masha in endorsement contracts!

MARION OPENS HER MOUTH WIDE AND BEGINS TO INHALE. WITHIN SECONDS ALL THE CHOCOLATE, CARAMEL, LENAíS YONEXģ VISOR AND THE FAR DOOR HAVE ALL DISAPPEARED.

MARION.
Le burp.

LENA:
But we are still covered from head to toe in chocolate! Mommy Vera will be so mad me for being such a mess!

SVETA:
Sveta will just have to lick everybody clean, verschitnzel?

MASHA:

You will do no such thing. Luckily, we have just signed an endorsement contract with Wet-Wipes. (MASHA PRODUCES A HUGE NUMBER OF MOIST CLEANING TOWELETTES, WITH WHICH THE LADIES ARE ABLE TO REMOVE MOST OF THE CHOCOLATE).

SVETA:
Sveta still like her plan better.

SUDDENLY, THE FLASHLIGHT DIES! ALL IS PLUNGED INTO DARKNESS.

MARION:

Iím afraid. I want my daddy.

LENA:

Iím afraid. I want my mommy.

MASHA:

We are afraid. We want our daddy, too.

HINGIS

I want the ATP.
VEE:
Where did you come from?

HINGIS:
I never know whether Iím coming or going around here. I just took a wrong turn, and here I was.

JUJU:
Well, there is only one way out of here. Allez! We must move forward . . .

:haha: :haha: :haha:

tennis_lover89
Oct 29th, 2007, 11:05 PM
this is making me laugh soo hard..please never end the story ;)

vadin124
Oct 29th, 2007, 11:26 PM
lol never thought i would say this but Justine is my fav character so far

loving the allez'!! hilarious.

:lol: Le Burp :lol:

tennis_lover89
Oct 29th, 2007, 11:28 PM
marion and her eating is hilarious as well

Sean.
Oct 29th, 2007, 11:33 PM
Ana's dead! Oh no! Couldn't you kill someone I wouldn't mind loosing so much, like Chaky or Petrova. There are always spare Russians ;)

(don't take offense it's a joke)

Alenyaa
Oct 30th, 2007, 12:51 AM
Oh the anticipation whenever I see a large(r) number of posts added to this thread :D

So, thus far, Lena's lost a one of her shoes and her visor. Mommy Vera will be so mad :p

miffedmax
Oct 30th, 2007, 08:34 PM
Hopefully, the next to last bit . . .

THE LADIES LINK HANDS AND BEGIN TO MOVE FORWARD, THE HALL DIMLY LIT BY AN UNSEEN SOURCE. THEY ROUND A CORNER, AND REE SCREAMS!

THERE, BEFORE THEM, STANDS A HOODED FIGURE WHOSE LONG, SKELETAL ARMS CLUTCH A GIANT SCYTHE!

VEE:
Oh no! The ultimate spook, Death itself!

MASHA:
We are too young, rich and beautiful to die!

MARION:
Yes, we are!

MASHA:
Uh, we were talking about us, not you.

LENA:
Somebody told me my serve looked like warmed over death, but I don’t really see a resemblence.

JUJU:
Will you two please shut up? I would recognize those skinny arms anywhere!

JUJU REACHES OUT AND PULLS OFF THE CLOAK TO REVEAL IT IS REALLY DANI!

SESIL:
I am so going to kick your skinny ass . . .

SUDDENLY, DANI FLIES UP AND AWAY, AS THOUGH SHE WERE A MARIONETTE BEING YANKED UP BY HER STRINGS . . .

SVETA:
Sveta confused. Sveta’s brain hurt.

SUDDENLY, THE SOUND OF WEEPING AND MOANS OF DESPAIR FILL THE AIR. THE LADIES SHUDDER, LOOKING FOR THE SOURCE OF THE NOISE, BUT CAN SEE NOTHING IN THE DARKNESS.

MASHA:
Oh, we just remembered signing a deal with Duracell. Give us the flashlight.

WITH THE FLASHLIGHT WORKING AGAIN, THE LADIES MOVE DOWN A CORRIDOR. THE SOUNDS OF CRYING GROW LOUDER.

MARTINA;

Hey, Lena, is that your fans again? Somebody show them a tape of Roland Garros ’04?

LENA:
They don't cry when they see that!

MARION:
Because they are like my fans, so proud you made a final?

LENA:
No, they usually don't cry because they're too busy slitting their wrists . . .

SUDDENLY, A HORRIBLE TWO-HEADED APPARITION APPEARS!

ANNABEPA!!!!

ANNA C HEAD:
I can’t believe that bad call! Now I’m going to lose!

BEPA HEAD:
And I’m crying for no reason whatsoever!

LENA:

What an unnatural horror!

VEE:
Almost as unnatural as living with your mother when you’re 26 years old.

REE:
Or marrying a man with better fashion sense than you have

JUJU:
Allez, allez! We must try to catch her—them—it?

THE GIRLS START TO PURSUE THE APPARITION, BUT IT DISAPPEARS AROUND A CORNER AND DOWN A SECRET PASSAGEWAY.

SVETA:
Sveta suspicious now. Sveta heard tiny little Anna and Bepa discuss going to party as two-headed tennis player. Sveta not think this party. Sveta think something up. Sveta tired of bullshit inflicted on fellow homegirls from mean streets of WTAWorld.

Sveta strong, too!

SVETA KICKS A HUGE GAPING HOLE IN THE WALL WHERE THE ANNABEPA FLED, THEN SCREAMS AS SHE IS DRAWN INTO THE BLINDING LIGHT . . .

To be completed on Oct 31

Watching
Oct 30th, 2007, 08:54 PM
Lol so funny the way sveta talks.

Lefty.
Oct 30th, 2007, 09:08 PM
:haha: :haha: :haha: Amazing stuff :yeah:

Alenyaa
Oct 30th, 2007, 10:52 PM
THE SOUNDS OF CRYING GROW LOUDER.

MARTINA;

Hey, Lena, is that your fans again? Somebody show them a tape of Roland Garros ’04?

LENA:
They don't cry when they see that!

MARION:
Because they are like my fans, so proud you made a final?

LENA:
No, they usually don't cry because they're too busy slitting their wrists . . .

SVETA:
Sveta suspicious now. Sveta heard tiny little Anna and Bepa discuss going to party as two-headed tennis player. Sveta not think this party. Sveta think something up. Sveta tired of bullshit inflicted on fellow homegirls from mean streets of WTAWorld.

Brilliant :haha:

Ryan
Oct 30th, 2007, 11:02 PM
The last two bits are definitely the best, haha. Keep it up! :D

Play_Suspended
Oct 31st, 2007, 09:22 PM
lol gets better and better, cant wait for the final part:worship:

tennis_lover89
Oct 31st, 2007, 09:54 PM
hey and the final part?? wasn't it supposed to be today? :p

miffedmax
Oct 31st, 2007, 10:03 PM
And finally the horrible . . . I mean horrifying conclusion—

SVETA SCREAMS AFTER KNOCKING DOWN THE WALL . . .

SVETA:
No . . . no! Sveta is scared!

LENA:
But Juju is here with us.

VEE and REE STEP FORWARD.

VEE:
I’m not intimidated . . .

REE:
I intimidate . . .

BOTH:

Aiiieeeeee!!!

LENA:
I think I hear my mother calling . . .

VEE:

What happened to her?

SVETA:

Poor Jelena . . .

MARION:
Jelena? She’s so nice . . .

ALL SURGE FORWARD TO BEHOLD A HORRIBLE SPECTRE . . . AN EMACIATED, ROTTING JANKOVIC SWINGING A RACKET IN ONE DEFORMEDLY LARGE ARM.

JELENA:

Haha . . . looks like I played myself to death! Haha . . . looks like I played myself to death . . . Haha . . .

MASHA:
We find this clamor both irritating and suspicious.

MASHA PRODUCES A HANDGUN ROUGHLY THE SIZE OF CAMILE PIN AND LEVELS IT AT JANKO.

ALL:
No, Masha, no!

MASHA:
Good thing we just signed an endorsement deal with my two good friends—Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson.

MASHA EMPTIES THE .44 MAGNUM INTO JANKOVIC. YET RATHER THAN BLOOD OR GORE, BITS OF FOAM RUBBER AND METAL EXPLODE ALL OVER THE ROOM.

MARTINA:

An animatronic Jankovic! How did you know?

MASHA:
We didn’t. And frankly, we didn’t care.

MARION:
It makes sense. No human could play that schedule . . .

JUSTINE:
What is that noise?

AS THE ECHOES OF MASHA’S FIREARM FADE, ALL THE LADIES BECOME AWARE OF MUFFLED CRIES FOR HELP.

VEE;
It sounds like it’s coming from the wall . . .

REE:

How? It looks like a solid wall.

SVETA:
Sveta could smash puny wall . . .

MARION:
I’m hungry. Maybe that candle is made of tallow . . .

MARION GRABS AT A CANDLE IN A CANDLEABRA ON THE WALL. SUDDENLY, THE WALL SWINGS OPEN, REVEALING DANI, ANA AND JELENA ALL CHAINED TO A WALL.

LENA:
Oh! Is Mommy Vera coaching all of you, too?

JUSTINE:
What?

LENA:
Oh, please. Everybody has a bad girl closet where you have to go to think about all the mistakes you’ve made when you’ve been bad.

MARION:
And I thought my dad was a nut.

REE:
You’re kidding.

SESIL:
No, no she’s not.

ANA:
Uh, I don’t mean to intrude, or cause any inconvenience, but could somebody let us out?

VEE:
Of course. Is there a key?

JELENA:
I don’t think so . . .

SVETA:

Sveta feel funny but kind of nice seeing girls in chains . . . but that not important know. Puny tungsten chains are no match for Sveta, hwar hwar hwar.

SVETA EASILY PULLS THE CHAINS FROM THE WALLS, FREEING THE OTHER THREE.

LENA:
How can you three be dead, awful terrible ghosts and still alive at the same time?

MARTINA:

Of course. The flickering image of Ana was some film projected on the wall . . . the Dani Death figure was just a marionette—and the Jelena was just a robot . . .

JELENA:
No, actually, I really am a robot.

MARTINA:
Okay, but you're a different robot.

JELENA:
Point taken.

VEE:
Who could come up with such a diabolical plan?

JUST THEN, A HAPPY BARKING FILLS THE ROOM IN RUNS PATRICK, LENA’S DOG.

PATRICK RUNS TO ANOTHER WALL OF THE ROOM AND PULLS BACK A CURTAIN TO REVEAL A MAN WORKING A SERIES OF COMPUTERS.

A BOOMING VOICE:
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. . .

PATRICK PULLS BACK ANOTHER CURTAIN TO REVEAL . . .


THE GIRLS ALL SQUEAL

He’s so cute!

Look at those chubby little cheeks!

Don’t you want to just pick him up and sqeeze him!

LENA:
I wonder where he came from?

ENTER LINDS:

Jagger? Jagger? There you are! What have you been up to you little scamp!

REE:

He almost scared us to death, that’s what he’s been up to!

LINDS SCOOPS UP JAGGER.

Oh, son. Your first ever diabolical scheme to win a Grand Slam. You’re such a chip off the old block . . .

A TEAR ROLLS DOWN LINDS’ FACE.

Mommy is so proud . . .

JUJU:

Well, the mystery is solved. We can all go home . . .

SUDDENLY, A WILD-HAIRED WOMAN APPEARS AND SHOUTS: But first you must walk the White Mile!!!!

ALL:

Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

IceHock
Oct 31st, 2007, 10:07 PM
hahaha, great last part

Tennisation
Oct 31st, 2007, 10:14 PM
MARION GRABS AT A CANDLE IN A CANDLEABRA ON THE WALL. SUDDENLY, THE WALL SWINGS OPEN, REVEALING DANI, ANA AND JELENA ALL CHAINED TO A WALL.

LENA:
Oh! Is Mommy Vera coaching all of you, too?:haha:

komorli
Oct 31st, 2007, 10:38 PM
:haha: Too funny!! You must make a Thanksgiving one in less than a month's time. Then a Christmas one! :lol:

DragonFlame
Nov 1st, 2007, 12:41 AM
SUDDENLY, A WILD-HAIRED WOMAN APPEARS AND SHOUTS: But first you must walk the White Mile!!!!


OMFG :haha: GENIOUS! It was patty's house from the site:lol: Max :yeah:

http://www.the-white-mile.org/whitemileenlish.htm

Groenefelder25
Nov 1st, 2007, 12:45 AM
LOL!!!!!!! brilliant, loved every bit of it.

meyerpl
Nov 1st, 2007, 12:54 AM
Excellent! Thanks once again Max.

LeonHart
Nov 1st, 2007, 01:28 AM
Loved it.

And still waiting for Doni1212's story...that is supposedly much better written than this :p

bestohb
Nov 1st, 2007, 01:44 AM
FANTASTIC!! :worship: :worship:

Also, very, very clever indeed!! Loved every single bit of it!

Can't wait for the next holiday!

Thank you so much Max :hug:

Alenyaa
Nov 1st, 2007, 02:11 AM
Wow, Patty's being mysterious about this book. Can anyone tell me what exactly this will be about? Is it a fictional story or has it got something to do with her personal life?

And I LOVE the music she uses for the site. Anyone know what the title is?

Alenyaa
Nov 1st, 2007, 02:11 AM
And btw, thanks for a great story, Max :p

DaniMasha3
Nov 1st, 2007, 02:32 AM
Amazing

stevos
Nov 1st, 2007, 03:02 AM
Max, you definitely make this board a better place to a ridiculous amount. :worship:

This story was amazing. :haha: Honestly, how do you do it? That's some mind you've got there.

ZeroSOFInfinity
Nov 1st, 2007, 03:26 AM
HINGIS

I want the ATP.


The best line in the story. Ever :lol: :lol: :haha: :haha: :haha:

SvetaPleaseWin.
Nov 1st, 2007, 03:34 AM
amazin' :worship:

ZeroSOFInfinity
Nov 1st, 2007, 03:35 AM
Loved it.

And still waiting for Doni1212's story...that is supposedly much better written than this :p

http://www2.wtaworld.com/showthread.php?t=321033&highlight=doni1212

Trust me, you wouldn't want to read it... both stories are like comparing heaven and earth. Or humans fighting maggots. Or dragons fighting wolves. Or humans on dragons throwing wolves at maggots. :tape:

Whatver.... if you have to poke your eyes out after reading it, I'll be glad to help!

Derek.
Nov 1st, 2007, 03:39 AM
Max. :lol: :yeah:

LindsayRulz
Nov 1st, 2007, 03:58 AM
Jagger :hearts:

Rix643
Nov 1st, 2007, 09:49 AM
Wow, Patty's being mysterious about this book. Can anyone tell me what exactly this will be about? Is it a fictional story or has it got something to do with her personal life?

And I LOVE the music she uses for the site. Anyone know what the title is?

Laura Palmer's Theme from the TV-series Twin Peaks. Used by Moby in his first hit "Go".

Meteor Shower
Nov 1st, 2007, 10:47 AM
This is so good it deserves a forum of its own. Great writing!

Alenyaa
Nov 2nd, 2007, 12:22 AM
Laura Palmer's Theme from the TV-series Twin Peaks. Used by Moby in his first hit "Go".

:worship: