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View Full Version : what would you do, if ur bf/gf would have cheated on you?


M&M
Nov 11th, 2006, 01:48 AM
keep it or dump it?

i mean, if it makes u crazy now, that u don't know where he/she is and u'Re having crazy thoughts that he/she could cheat on you again, so that it makes u sick, u cannot sleep...

i mean this isn't healthy, isn't it?

what would you do?

my heart says i should stay, but my mind says that i better go :sad:

i really don't know. it makes me sick and i m aware of that i won't trust anyone again :sad: that i will always have these fears and that it will always destroy myself and then my relation...

Sally Struthers
Nov 11th, 2006, 01:53 AM
Dump the asshole. You deserve better!

Hachiko
Nov 11th, 2006, 02:25 AM
Let them go... love is trust.

lk89
Nov 11th, 2006, 02:31 AM
Most people who have cheated will become chronic cheaters or will become not saying everybody who has cheated but most develop a history. So I say leave the ass.

Dementieva_Dude
Nov 11th, 2006, 02:52 AM
If some one has so little respect for you that they cheat on you, leave'em!

geegables
Nov 11th, 2006, 03:19 AM
Love fluctuates between two sides, if theyre cheating on you thats a complete betrayal of your trust and there's nothing more embarrasing than that. Talking from experience, Leave them, it wont be easy and it might still affect you in later relationships but its the best thing you could ever do

einna
Nov 11th, 2006, 03:27 AM
my head will tell me to go, my heart will beg me to stay ;)

Wigglytuff
Nov 11th, 2006, 03:30 AM
i dont see an option for man slaughter

Scotso
Nov 11th, 2006, 03:34 AM
If you really love them, you should give them another chance.

CrossCourt~Rally
Nov 11th, 2006, 03:36 AM
If you really love them, you should give them another chance.

:hug:

Wigglytuff
Nov 11th, 2006, 03:47 AM
keep it or dump it?

i mean, if it makes u crazy now, that u don't know where he/she is and u'Re having crazy thoughts that he/she could cheat on you again, so that it makes u sick, u cannot sleep...

i mean this isn't healthy, isn't it?

what would you do?

my heart says i should stay, but my mind says that i better go :sad:

i really don't know. it makes me sick and i m aware of that i won't trust anyone again :sad: that i will always have these fears and that it will always destroy myself and then my relation...

seriously. cheating is a devaluation of themselves and you. a cheater is more than just a cheater, they are also liars. also if they had sex with you AFTER having sex with this other person it means that they put your life in danger without giving you a choice.

part of the reason people have such a big problem with cheating is all the other things they chose to do in order to achieve the act of cheating on you. dont be fooled, the made MANY choice to get to point. at any one of those many points they had the option of considering you as a top priority and they chose otherwise.

they had other choices, whether they considered all of the other choices or not is non-issue there were other things they could have done (come to you first, chosen not to cheat just to name a few) you need to think about where and who you are. you need to decide if you are worth better than that. if you are you leave. if you think otherwise you can say and try to "work it out" but do so with the acknowledgment of what you are saying about the value yourself and your well being.

KimC&MariaSNo1's
Nov 11th, 2006, 04:15 AM
she hurts you once shame on her she hurts you tiwce shame on you

leave the hoe and move on

esquímaux
Nov 11th, 2006, 04:19 AM
1 strike you're out in my book :bigwave:

416_Man
Nov 11th, 2006, 04:32 AM
Can you say, "perfect excuse for a threesome". :D

Wigglytuff
Nov 11th, 2006, 04:36 AM
1 strike you're out in my book :bigwave:

:worship: :worship:

Dementieva_Dude
Nov 11th, 2006, 04:38 AM
Can you say, "perfect excuse for a threesome". :D

Yeah, that option works too. Threesome and THEN get rid of them! :devil:

esquímaux
Nov 11th, 2006, 04:55 AM
Yeah, that option works too. Threesome and THEN get rid of them! :devil:Men :o

MrSerenaWilliams
Nov 11th, 2006, 08:02 AM
do what your heart says, but I think you should leave. Once a cheater, always a cheater :sad: :hug: you deserve better

Rohin.
Nov 11th, 2006, 08:32 AM
go for a fucking long walk.

Erika_Angel
Nov 11th, 2006, 08:34 AM
If you really love them, you should give them another chance.

But if they really loved you then they should never have hurt you in the first place.

Wigglytuff
Nov 11th, 2006, 08:41 AM
But if they really loved you then they should never have hurt you in the first place.

:worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:

mandy7
Nov 11th, 2006, 08:42 AM
cheat back and dump

NyCPsU
Nov 11th, 2006, 08:44 AM
no second chances imo
cheating on someone seals the deal

Kart
Nov 11th, 2006, 09:05 AM
Well it depends on how much you like them.

If it's just casual to pass the time then carry on until something better comes along.

If you really liked them and were committed to monogamy then cut the dead weight.

*abby*
Nov 11th, 2006, 09:34 AM
its hard to say
my first boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend, he broke my heart and i hate him
but my boyfriend im with now i feel like hes the real deal, i can see myself spending the rest of my life with him so if he cheated then i dont know. i wouldnt want to throw away my best chance of hapiness because he made one mistake. i know that letting him go would be the hardest decision in the world but on the other hand, i would always be worrying about if he would do it again.
if you think u would be able to manage with having suspicions of if u can totally forgive them then stay but if you think you can do better (which you probably can) then leave!

AnneSo006
Nov 11th, 2006, 10:59 AM
I will dump him immediatly!
I deserve really better that someone who cheats on me!

And love is trust... I wouldn't be able to trust again someone who cheats on me...

Grohl
Nov 11th, 2006, 01:51 PM
if my gf cheats on me; it's over
if you choose for a person, you stay with that person
and if you're starting to like somebody else
you break up with your partner before you start it with that other person

Princeza
Nov 11th, 2006, 01:54 PM
then bye bye, u cant live pretending it didnt happened

Scotso
Nov 11th, 2006, 11:46 PM
But if they really loved you then they should never have hurt you in the first place.

Right, because people never hurt people they love. That's ridiculous.

People make mistakes.

Scotso
Nov 11th, 2006, 11:47 PM
I think a lot of people here have obviously never really been in love.

!<blocparty>!
Nov 11th, 2006, 11:51 PM
I tend to get really, really jealous. :o And am v. unforgiving.

I don't think I'd be able to let someone back in my life who betrayed me in that way. :sad:

Il Primo!
Nov 11th, 2006, 11:54 PM
...Wouldn't really bother me if it's just sex (Im not sure, never happened to me) :scratch:

Chris 84
Nov 11th, 2006, 11:55 PM
It depends on the circumstances every time. I don't think there is one definite answer that fits every situation.

Qrystyna
Nov 12th, 2006, 01:04 AM
I'd let them go.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Nobody really "changes" no matter how much we want them to.

Kirt12255
Nov 12th, 2006, 01:20 AM
Definately let them go, if you take them back you are setting a precedent for them to do it again.

It's fine to go out and look as long as they eat at home.;)

Having said that, if the act was from the result of excessive alcahol or drugs it may raise a different situation I guess. Each situation needs a different outcome. I'd still dump him.

ToeTag
Nov 12th, 2006, 01:26 AM
Beat the shit out of them...than I would personally deliver them to the person they're fucking.

thalle
Nov 12th, 2006, 09:22 AM
Really depends on the cheating, IMO!
Is this his/her only time?
Did he/she come straightly to you to tell or did you discover?
How did he/she feel when (if so) telling? Any crying?
How long have you been together?
Is he/she the "cheating-type"
Was he/she drunk? (I know it's a bad excuse, but we've all done really stupid things when drunk. If he/she was sober, then he/she could think straight, and I would advise you to dump him/her)

Could you see yourself with him/her in the future despite of this?

mandy7
Nov 12th, 2006, 10:03 AM
by the way, i am allowed to sleep with Marat Safin :p
and my baby can sleep with Ana Ivanovic
great rule i reckon :D

Yasmine
Nov 12th, 2006, 10:13 AM
I'm not a forgiving person so spontaneously I would go for the dumping option. But it pretty much depends on each situation...

Kim's_fan_4ever
Nov 12th, 2006, 11:01 AM
Dump him immediately. There's no sense to continue a relationship with someone
who cheated on you.

skanky~skanketta
Nov 12th, 2006, 12:01 PM
i have no right to say anything here because i've been the cheater before. but i'm glad my bf decided to keep going on, after lots of tears and persuasion. of course, we're not together anymore,but we were 3 years after my episode. and besides, we're still on good terms. the bad part for the cheater is that after u do what u did, it's gonna be hard to even look at someone and make a passing comment like "oh, he's cute"

Grachka
Nov 12th, 2006, 12:05 PM
Some people are being ridiculous, it can rarely be black and white.

If he/she is just sprinting from bed to bed, shagging anything with a pulse, I can sympathise with the idea of dumping them without question as it not only displays a lack of trustworthiness, but also a contempt for you. However, in a lot of situations, there is a little bit more room for manoeuvre, and not everyone wants to cast aside something so easily, that may have been a huge part of their life.

Mateo Mathieu
Nov 12th, 2006, 12:12 PM
...

daniela86
Nov 12th, 2006, 01:02 PM
It depends on the circumstances every time. I don't think there is one definite answer that fits every situation.

I agree at 100% :p

Kimster
Nov 12th, 2006, 01:10 PM
keep it or dump it?

i mean, if it makes u crazy now, that u don't know where he/she is and u'Re having crazy thoughts that he/she could cheat on you again, so that it makes u sick, u cannot sleep...

i mean this isn't healthy, isn't it?

what would you do?

my heart says i should stay, but my mind says that i better go :sad:

i really don't know. it makes me sick and i m aware of that i won't trust anyone again :sad: that i will always have these fears and that it will always destroy myself and then my relation...


After someone has cheated on you, the insecurity will forever stay in your heart. Whenever he/she gets home late for whatever innocent reason it may be, you'd get worried first and angry later. Fights will follow and before you know it you're unhappy and feeling desperate.

Sometimes your heart wants to tell you you should stay, that's normal when you're in love but in this case reason should prevail. Leave him/her....

I wish i could be more positive.
Keep your spirit up though! This may just be a cyberboard but i'm sure many people will support you! :wavey:

LoveFifteen
Nov 12th, 2006, 02:44 PM
The old saying is "Once a cheater, always a cheater" ... and unfortunately, there is a lot of truth to it.

Wigglytuff
Nov 12th, 2006, 03:03 PM
I think a lot of people here have obviously never really been in love.

how you can "tell" that is beyond me.

anyway,

i myself would have been in love and yes we made mistake and we hurt each but we would of never cheated. cheating, like i said, before is very different in that it requires that make MANY MANY choices where you willing and actively ignore/lie to/deny the one who your are supposed to be in a relationship with. thats much more than saying something that is hurtful, or making a mistake one day and doing something that would displease your partner.

loving someone means fundamentally choosing honesty and respect and kindness toward the person that you calm to love.

Wigglytuff
Nov 12th, 2006, 03:06 PM
The old saying is "Once a cheater, always a cheater" ... and unfortunately, there is a lot of truth to it.

exactly.

what i want to know is how many people who are clamoring for blind forgiveness have ever been cheating cheaters themselves. :confused: :shrug: :shrug:

Pasta-Na
Nov 12th, 2006, 03:56 PM
dump and then join the porn industry :angel:

!<blocparty>!
Nov 12th, 2006, 04:30 PM
exactly.

what i want to know is how many people who are clamoring for blind forgiveness have ever been cheating cheaters themselves. :confused: :shrug: :shrug:

What I want to know is how many of the posters saying NO WAY IN HELL EVER have been cheated on by someone they were deeply in love with. :confused::shrug::confused:

Elske
Nov 12th, 2006, 04:36 PM
http://www.wgfed.com/cgi/i/Kick_Out1.gif


:) easy as that

Wigglytuff
Nov 12th, 2006, 04:37 PM
What I want to know is how many of the posters saying NO WAY IN HELL EVER have been cheated on by someone they were deeply in love with. :confused::shrug::confused:

should i take that to mean you a cheater trying to defect the question and/or trying excess the actions of cheater? :tape: :confused:

Wigglytuff
Nov 12th, 2006, 04:37 PM
http://www.wgfed.com/cgi/i/Kick_Out1.gif


:) easy as that

:worship: :worship: :worship: :lol: :lol: :lol:

mandy7
Nov 12th, 2006, 05:33 PM
I think a lot of people here have obviously never really been in love.

cause they say theyd dump the person in an instant?
well... i've been in love
i am in love
but some things i just will not accept.
i do not get cheated on! hell no.
my ego would take over from my feelings for the person.

and well, ig the wanker cheats, does he/she really love you??

treufreund
Nov 12th, 2006, 08:26 PM
I am not the jealous type at all. People sometimes want some variety. I just want my partner to love me the most. If he strays to another man then it's no big deal with me as long as his heart stays with me. 3-ways are cool too.

ampers&
Nov 13th, 2006, 12:12 AM
I voted "better for you to let him/her go," but that's maybe because I've been in that position before (twice) and each time I stood by the person only to have them hurt me again. My friend is going through something similar right now. Her girlfriend cheated on her over the summer and my friend broke up with her. But her girlfriend apologized profusely and promised that it would never happen again, so my friend took her back. Just Friday she found out that her girlfriend was cheating on her again. With 2 other people this time. So I'm fairly pessimistic when it comes to this because, in my experience, cheaters have a difficult time changing their ways.

BUT, each situation is different I guess.
You just have to follow your heart. I won't give anyone else a second chance anymore because I've been hurt. But you have to do what's right for you. There's no right or wrong answer really. Just make sure you've thought it through before making a final choice because your heart is on the line.

Good luck. :hug:

No Name Face
Nov 13th, 2006, 02:21 AM
if you cheat on me, you gots to go.
you pretty much get one chance...forgiveness isn't really my strong suit, but i'm working on it.

i can hump all day, so there's no reason to seek anyone else out :p

Scotso
Nov 13th, 2006, 04:31 AM
What I want to know is how many of the posters saying NO WAY IN HELL EVER have been cheated on by someone they were deeply in love with. :confused::shrug::confused:

Aye.

Scotso
Nov 13th, 2006, 04:32 AM
should i take that to mean you a cheater trying to defect the question and/or trying excess the actions of cheater? :tape: :confused:

Like I should take the fact that you support abortion to mean you're a baby killer?

Yeah, good logic.

Wigglytuff
Nov 13th, 2006, 04:37 AM
Like I should take the fact that you support abortion to mean you're a baby killer?

Yeah, good logic.

intelligent as always :retard: :retard: :smash: :smash: :smash: :smash: :lol: :lol:
really who takes retards like you seriously?? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Scotso
Nov 13th, 2006, 04:39 AM
Oh the ever graceful and elegant Jigglypuff. Throwing around words like retard when she knows that character assassination is her only chance of winning an argument.

Really, dear, use some of that great intellect you claim to have in abundance and actually make a decent point for once. I know it might be difficult the first time... but it gets easier down the road.

LoveFifteen
Nov 13th, 2006, 04:43 AM
I voted "better for you to let him/her go," but that's maybe because I've been in that position before (twice) and each time I stood by the person only to have them hurt me again. My friend is going through something similar right now. Her girlfriend cheated on her over the summer and my friend broke up with her. But her girlfriend apologized profusely and promised that it would never happen again, so my friend took her back. Just Friday she found out that her girlfriend was cheating on her again. With 2 other people this time. So I'm fairly pessimistic when it comes to this because, in my experience, cheaters have a difficult time changing their ways.

Big :hug: for Miching~Mallecho ...

It's stories like these that just further confirm for me the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater".

As many people have said, it's your choice to forgive and try to salvage the relationship, M&M, but don't except anyone's sympathy if they cheat on you again.

venus_rulez
Nov 13th, 2006, 04:48 AM
Go with your gut. If you honestly believe that this was a one time thing, then stay. You've most likely put in enormous amounts of time and effort to make the relationship worst. But if you have any doubts about his/her future intentions, you should leave.

Wigglytuff
Nov 13th, 2006, 05:21 AM
Big :hug: for Miching~Mallecho ...

It's stories like these that just further confirm for me the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater".

As many people have said, it's your choice to forgive and try to salvage the relationship, M&M, but don't except anyone's sympathy if they cheat on you again.

:worship: :worship: :worship:

Wigglytuff
Nov 13th, 2006, 05:30 AM
Oh the ever graceful and elegant Jigglypuff. Throwing around words like retard when she knows that character assassination is her only chance of winning an argument.

Really, dear, use some of that great intellect you claim to have in abundance and actually make a decent point for once. I know it might be difficult the first time... but it gets easier down the road.

yeah i am definitely smart enough to know when some nitwit is bsing to avoid answering a simple question.

like i said before does anyone take this retard seriously?

"Sluggy"
Nov 13th, 2006, 08:47 AM
If my wife cheated on me I would as for PICS! Seriously, if she cheated id just feel very sad and probably go to Switzerland and work for a few months, then Id come back and try to forgive her.

Kimster
Nov 13th, 2006, 10:03 AM
http://www.wgfed.com/cgi/i/Kick_Out1.gif


:) easy as that



LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!


:haha:

*abby*
Nov 13th, 2006, 10:10 AM
i love my boyfriend adam more than anything in the world (apart form my mum) so if he cheated on me it would probably feel like my whole world was falling apart. we share something amazing and so for him to do that would be the worst thing ever.
BUT because of how much i love him i wouldnt want to throw it away because he made a mistake. if it was a one time thing and i was sure he wouldnt do it again (he is so not the cheating type) then i would forgive him no matter how long it took and i would work my ass of to make the relationship work, and i would expect him to do the same

mandy7
Nov 13th, 2006, 10:15 AM
i love my boyfriend adam more than anything in the world (apart form my mum) so if he cheated on me it would probably feel like my whole world was falling apart. we share something amazing and so for him to do that would be the worst thing ever.
i doubt he'd do that....

BUT because of how much i love him i wouldnt want to throw it away because he made a mistake. if it was a one time thing and i was sure he wouldnt do it again (he is so not the cheating type) then i would forgive him no matter how long it took and i would work my ass of to make the relationship work, and i would expect him to do the same

if he loves you back, he wouldn't cheat
and if you love him enough, you won't either
right?

*abby*
Nov 13th, 2006, 10:22 AM
yeah but if he made that mistake for whatever reason i would give him another chance.
only one more then thats it but if hes sorry and admits it to me and all that then i would give him another chance but obviously id be wary and chances are id be suspicious and the relationship probably wouldnt work because of lack of trust but id give him the opportunity to make it up to me
if it happens a second time the bye bye
luckily i know hed never in a million years cheat on me :D

*abby*
Nov 13th, 2006, 10:24 AM
basically what i tried to say but didnt in the end lol you can love someone more than anything and you can have the best intentions but you can still slip up and make a mistake, whether you are drunk or high or completely sober, people still make mistakes.
id hope that if i made a mistake adam would be able to forgive me and give me another chance

mandy7
Nov 13th, 2006, 10:46 AM
a mistake is missing a date, or forgeting your 10th wedding ann. :lol:

furrykitten
Nov 13th, 2006, 10:51 AM
If I was in a relationship with a girl and she cheated it would be the end, the relationship would always be clouded in doubt after so its not worth the problems.

If it had been my wife, well that would be difficult to judge how I would have dealt with it.

thalle
Nov 13th, 2006, 10:54 AM
i doubt he'd do that....



if he loves you back, he wouldn't cheat
and if you love him enough, you won't either
right?
even if he does love her big time, he might cheat. If he's really drunk and some stupid bimbo is making big moves on him and his brain-function is low, then it can happen... that's it

My ex-BF kissed a girl in the start of our realationsship, he was really drunk, and regretted it big time and told me as soon as possible the next day, I forgave him and I wasn't conspicious cause I know it was a one-time-thing. (I know kiss and sex isn't the same, but still... oh and we didn't break up because of that. He broke up 6 months later because he didn't love me anylonger. And he waited around 2 months to kiss with a new girl)

mandy7
Nov 13th, 2006, 11:49 AM
if it's a kiss, fine, i might forgive
but sleeping with someone else, doesn't happen by accident
no matter how drunk

*abby*
Nov 13th, 2006, 12:59 PM
not neccessarily an accident but it can still be a mistake right?
i dunno i would just be wary about throwing away real happiness because of something i could probably in time get over

No Name Face
Nov 13th, 2006, 07:54 PM
if it's a kiss, fine, i might forgive
but sleeping with someone else, doesn't happen by accident
no matter how drunk

speak for yourself :tape: :tape: :tape:

Milli
Nov 13th, 2006, 08:13 PM
Well,I don't think I would forgive...Maybe in some exceptional situation,if I really really loved the guy to death...But even in that case I would need a really really good explanation IF it happened by an accident...In other case,no matter how much I love the person,if he can't return the feelings,then yeah, I'd dump him...

nbaker53
Nov 13th, 2006, 08:19 PM
Death!

Mrs. Peel
Nov 13th, 2006, 09:41 PM
a mistake is forgetting to pay a bill or burning dinner on the stove. Cheating is more than a mistake. It takes planning and a willingness to forget about your partner to have pleasure with someone else. It is a very selfish, self-centered act.

Cheat on me, I'll show you the door. I would only consider "forgiveness" if married because some vows were taken that shouldn't be taken lightly.

The
Nov 13th, 2006, 09:55 PM
Thats an easy one, I would show her the door, no explanations and no excuses.

Sally Struthers
Nov 13th, 2006, 10:02 PM
when you keep the cheater you're ultimately disrespecting yourself by settling for someone who has treated you badly.

Giuliano
Nov 13th, 2006, 10:36 PM
It's easier said than done, but I don't think I could stand the thought of my gf having sex with someone else. It is sacred to me.

beauty_is_pink
Nov 23rd, 2006, 03:16 AM
M&M: kick him in the balls!