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View Full Version : Nine things you always wanted to know about Wimbledon, but were too scared to ask


MartianJoeyWinson
Jun 8th, 2002, 03:48 PM
* Wimbledon is known as The All England Championships (or The Championships), and is played at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club. No Croquet is played during the tournament fortnight as it is illegal.

* If you tried to line up all the stawberries eaten during tournament, you would be clinically insane and branded a moron. It's a fruitless task.

* The spectators food bar underneath the hill (cruelly dubbed "Henman Hill") near Court One was actually a nuclear bunker built to house players should the threat of war break out. Since the Cold War ended it was redecorated to what it is now, selling over-priced sandwiches.

* Wimbledon is the only place in the world where you must remortgage your house if you want to eat any food sold there.

* During Wimbledon fortnight, to keep the courts in excellent condition, cows are placed on the courts overnight to graze and keep the grass short.

* Match referee Alan Mills is actually a prototype android.

* Any player who doesn't bow to the Royal Box will be shot in the chin.

* During the fortnight, there are enough cables and lighting to cater for a Darren Day musical that would run on and on for twenty years.

* Finally, the amount of profit the LTA make from the Wimbledon fortnight gets pumped straight back into the well being of British Tennis, providing a bright future for the sport in this nation. And if you believe that, you are a total buffoon.

TheBoiledEgg
Jun 8th, 2002, 03:51 PM
LMAO ...... good ones :D

Cassius
Jun 8th, 2002, 04:53 PM
LOL.
Very funny, esp. the strawberry one.:D .

veryborednow
Jun 8th, 2002, 05:00 PM
* Finally, the amount of profit the LTA make from the Wimbledon fortnight gets pumped straight back into the well being of British Tennis, providing a bright future for the sport in this nation. And if you believe that, you are a total buffoon.

why does that one make me want to cry ?!

tennischick
Jun 8th, 2002, 05:09 PM
* Match referee Alan Mills is actually a prototype android.

and Pete Sampras is his clone...

funny, funny :D :D

TexasTech Guy
Jun 8th, 2002, 05:15 PM
Are you serious about the cow thing?

Cassius
Jun 8th, 2002, 05:21 PM
Yes TEXAS. Its true.




























:rolleyes: .

Bella
Jun 8th, 2002, 05:27 PM
He's playing with you, Texas. I've seen it myself. If those are cows, they are the littlest, white, fluffy cows I have ever seen.

TexasTech Guy
Jun 8th, 2002, 05:34 PM
haha allright cool.

Nimi
Jun 8th, 2002, 05:50 PM
lol, good once, u couldnt have made 'em all by yourself, or could you :confused:

MartianJoeyWinson
Jun 8th, 2002, 10:47 PM
Texas - tut tut :)

Insanity... yes, indeed this is all my own work :D I was flicking through an official programme from Wimbledon, and noticed it had all these facts in that you usually get in big events programmes. They are completely useless and made up, like how the hell do they know that all the strawberries lined up would reach Canada or somewhere. Obviously they work it out through how many cans would fit in a mile then multiply it by said distance, but does anyone need to know that? (other than the Strawberry Appreciation Society).

They're all false anyway except the Alan Mills one which may be true. And Bella, you never know, genetic modification has come on leaps and bounds recently!

Mazza
Jun 8th, 2002, 10:50 PM
LMAO! :D :p esp. Over-priced sarnies/Henman Hill/nuclear bunker one... LOL!! :p

Monica_Rules
Jun 8th, 2002, 10:55 PM
LMAO:D

Kart
Jun 9th, 2002, 11:07 AM
Originally posted by JoeyWinson

* Wimbledon is the only place in the world where you must remortgage your house if you want to eat any food sold there.



That is so true.

*Izzy*
Jun 9th, 2002, 11:57 AM
* Match referee Alan Mills is actually a prototype android

I knew there was something funny about him...;)

Pureracket
Jun 9th, 2002, 12:03 PM
lol

MartianJoeyWinson
Jun 25th, 2002, 04:39 PM
New facts

* The woman you all saw playing Jane O'Donaghue is not actually Venus Williams. It is a Venus Williams impersonator, who is usually hired out for parties and banqueting events. Oracene Williams rented the act known as "Wenus Villiams" (real name Jemima Delaforce from Reading) as the real Venus missed her flight. The impersonator is said to have been so lifelike to the real player in her actions, that the AELTC have now made a rule that players can use body doubles on court, just as long as they wear white.

* According the the Wimbledon rule book, no mixed doubles partnership is allowed to have sexual intercourse during the match they are playing, as this may put their opponents off. Same sex doubles are exempt from the rule, but "hand jobs" are not permitted.

* If Tim Henman wins Wimbledon this year, the statue of Fred Perry at the entrance to the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club will be melted down and reformed into a new sculpture of "Tiger" Tim.

* Wimbledon will have to move in the year 2009 when the AELTC's lease runs out. The site is expected to be turned into an Asda-Walmart Superstore. A spokesman for the supermarket giants said "the spirit of Wimbledon will still exist as we do sell strawberries and cream!".

* If a pregnant woman elects to play doubles she has to register her foetus as her partner.

JoeyWinson3.0
Jul 3rd, 2003, 01:33 PM
MORE FACTS FOR 2003!

* A Wimbledon tradition is for the winner of the Womens singles event to eat their dinner at the players party off their trophy, whereas the mens singles winner must fill the cup with beer and down it. Then put it on their head.

* If it rained for two weeks solid throughout the tournament, the players would be called into a room where they must complete the tournament playing Virtua Tennis 2 to decide the winner.

* Sue Barker shows tremendous mental resilliance and total professionalism when presenting, as she does so at gunpoint. John Inverdale sometimes likes to hold the gun.

* Justine Henin-Hardenne will not set foot on court until she has been presented a plate of hot peas. She will look at the peas for ten minutes before demanding they be thrown away. She carries out this ritual every match.

* It is expected John Lloyd will say "In our day of course," 500 times during the fortnight.