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Brian Stewart
Jun 7th, 2002, 02:54 PM
Hmm. Venus was methodically picking apart a clearly nervous Clarisa, and looked on her way to a 40-minute victory.

Then her concentration lapsed, and the match got closer, conveniently taking it up near the top of the hour before Venus closed it out. Double hmmm.

Clearly Richard must have instructed Venus to throw a few games to fill out the time slot, based on this and past "evidence". The fact that Venus has a history of mid-second-set concentration lapses must be discarded as irrelevant, as it invalidates the conspiracy theory. Likewise the facts that Fernandez is not part of the family, and that Richard wasn't even in Paris, must be ignored.

And there was a second server on the grassy knoll.

(Sarcastaround™ :serving the world's sarcasm needs for 30 years.)

Gumbycat
Jun 7th, 2002, 03:17 PM
That Richard......
He manipulated Venus and Serena schedule so they could reach Number ONE and TWO in the World. Serena is also in a great position to take over the Number One spot After Wimbledon.

Richard: "It is all progressing according to my design!"

Beige
Jun 7th, 2002, 03:22 PM
*Putting on headset* "Listen, Dickey. Shred all documents and remember Fernandez wants to be paid in Euro's. Get a move on because Stewart's on to us. Hurry!"

Brian Stewart
Jun 7th, 2002, 03:26 PM
And furthermore, Richard rigged the men's draw so that Agassi would have to face Ferrero in the quarters, thus eliminating him from competing for the attention of American viewers over the weekend.

saki
Jun 7th, 2002, 03:27 PM
The World is not enough for the evil manipulative Richard Williams.

Jay
Jun 7th, 2002, 03:34 PM
what a load of bollocks !

Beige
Jun 7th, 2002, 03:34 PM
"Hello? William! Harry! I know it's tea time but listen up. Got a mole in your midst. Name's saki. Take care of her."

saki
Jun 7th, 2002, 03:35 PM
They were going to kill me anyway. I thought I might as well spread the word before I die.

Beige
Jun 7th, 2002, 03:39 PM
"What?! She got away?! Through the Chunnel?! Stop her, boys! NOW!"

Gumbycat
Jun 7th, 2002, 03:39 PM
....and don't forget The Number One and Two seeds at Wimbledon. No need to watch the Draw to see if Venus and Serena are on Opposite Sides of the Draw! ;)

Cybelle Darkholme
Jun 7th, 2002, 03:43 PM
Ooooo I like this thread.

That Richard Williams! Who does he think he is? Like we wouldn't figure out that he slipped into France secretly and poisoned Justine Henins Belgian Waffle Breakfast! I saw you dressed as a waiter Richard! Then that same week who did I see dressed as a ball boy during the Kim Clijsters match against Clarissa, yes you got it, King Richard himself putting something sticky on the ball so Kim would misjudge it and hit it out! Belgian secret police has your number Richard!

Then just when you think I'd seen the last of him, who was there in the Men's Locker Room breaking into Andy Roddicks locker and changing his shoes with ones two sizes too small, Richard you will be found out and dealt with!!!

Cybelle Darkholme
Jun 7th, 2002, 03:54 PM
PARIS -- A Williams is No. 1, a Williams is No. 2, and the French Open final is Williams vs. Williams, but where in the World is Richard?

Hidden under the Parisian streets, King Richard, no not the Lionheart, but the Bull headed, cackled with glee from his underground lair.

Thought to be in seclusion at their Florida estate, Richard Williams has been discovered by Belgian Police to be living secretly under the streets of Gay Parie, plotting the ascension of his daughters to the nos 1 and 2 spots in womens tennis. This modern day fairty tale story of Beauties and the Beast is on the verge of unravelling as Richard's lair has been raided and his diabolical plot machinations uncovered.

Directly under the Eiffel Tower, The Richard Cave, as he calls it, contained vials of strange potions with labels like, "Anti-Hingis serum" and "Capriati Vaccination"! Also in a tiny corner of the vaunted Richard Cave, Lindsay Davenport was found locked in virtual reality simulator where she relived over and over winning both the 2000 Wimbledon and Us Opens over Venus Williams. Sources in America have confirmed that the Lindsay Davenport spotted recently at a LA Lakers game is indeed a Fem-Bot.

After being freed from the simulator Lindsay screamed, " Noooo, I want to beat her again and again!!!" Davenport's family is considering a civil lawsuit while the Tennis star recuperates back in Laguna Beach, Ca.

Police in Paris have now issued an APB for the now missing Richard Williams.

persond
Jun 7th, 2002, 04:18 PM
:D :D Cybelle,

You have outdone yourself this time. Hahaha! Great post. I'm still ROTFLMAO!:D :D

TOO FUNNY, TOO FUNNY...:hearts: :hearts: :hearts: :hearts:

CHOCO
Jun 7th, 2002, 06:08 PM
GREAT POSTS GUYS!!!

These are the type of scripts that Hollywood is looking for.

I can see it now: The Richard Williams Story----I did it my way!

Dawn Marie
Jun 7th, 2002, 06:23 PM
LOL@this entire thread!!!:) great topic Brian:)

Richard Williams was seen talking to his daughters before the year started. "Venus if you want to be #1 you have to only PLAY MORE tennis." Venus then played the Gold Coast.:)

He was also overheard telling Serena that she should play more clay court warm-ups if she wanted to earn some extra points, since she had to drop out of OZ. She also was supposed to win Nasdaq and a few other Tier ones. Serena listened.

Richard also was heard telling his daughters to beat all the top players this year and to win many titles. They both listened. Neither one played Indian Wells, and they are STILL #1 and #2.

GO figure??

CHOCO
Jun 7th, 2002, 06:46 PM
Richard 'MAXIMUS' Williams

Weevee
Jun 7th, 2002, 07:59 PM
Cy you would get more compliments with a shorter name. A little BS can be funny!

Williams Rulez
Jun 8th, 2002, 03:23 AM
lol... :D

Cybelle Darkholme
Jun 9th, 2002, 12:51 AM
Paris, June 8 2002

While his darling daughters, the sisters Williams, battled from the base line and charged the net in the showdown of the toughest of all grand slam finals, Richard Williams was seen in Switzerland outside an unspecified villa with a box of chocalates, flowers, and a pair of platform shoes.

When questioned Richard responded, "Well, since Oracene and I are not seeing too much eye to eye, I thought I'd get my butt over here and woo that melanie molitor. She's single and we can always perm that hair."

When pressed if he thought he stood a chance with the infamous "mommy dearest" of tennis, Richard replied, "Thats only in the eyes of her daughter. See I figure having two grand slam daughters not enough, I want one more and by marrying mommy... I mean melanie, I can snag one more grand slamming daughter: Martina Williams! I even brought her these platforms to get some of venus' height."

After being escorted off the premises Richard Williams seem undaunted and vowed to win Melanie's heart. "Well Im guessing its time to bring out my james brown moves, on the good foot, say it loud and say it proud!"

CHOCO
Jun 9th, 2002, 12:55 AM
:)

Gumbycat
Jun 9th, 2002, 02:38 AM
lol

Becool
Jun 9th, 2002, 02:43 AM
lol nice articles! ;)

floppyshaq
Jun 9th, 2002, 02:48 AM
V&S have chips implanted in their brains, which Richard had a special CIA brain surgeon do, and that's why he doesn't even have to go to the FO anymore, right from on his couch he can use a computer terminal and actually program the # of UFEs, and sometimes he decides at the last minute, like in set 1 today he originally thought he would have Venus win that so it would be 3 sets, but changed his mind, and then programmed her to lose serve again.

victory1
Jun 9th, 2002, 05:57 AM
LOL!!:D