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Wendy Williams
Mar 20th, 2006, 12:17 PM
Come on now Mami Longoria. He's half-white. :rolleyes:

EVA LONGORIA's mother gave the DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES star a sober reminder of her inter-racial romance with basketballer TONY PARKER - by insisting she didn't send her grandmother a picture of her lover. Longoria tells the new issue of Allure magazine that she was planning to post her grandmother a SAN ANTONIO SPURS calendar, so she could see what her boyfriend looked like - but her mother reminded her that not everyone approves of the fact she's dating a bi-racial man. Longoria recalls, "She said, 'You can't give grandma a calendar. She doesn't know Tony's black.' I said, 'We'll just tell her he's French.'"

Pureracket
Mar 20th, 2006, 02:08 PM
Maybe they have a copy of "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" with Spanish subtitles to send to the grandmother.

Ferosh
Mar 20th, 2006, 02:10 PM
Publicity whore!!

DunkMachine
Mar 20th, 2006, 03:33 PM
Considering his complexion I should correct you and say that Tony Parker is white

lizchris
Mar 20th, 2006, 03:33 PM
I am not surprised at this revelation:rolleyes:

If you ever saw Ms. Longoria's family, you'd see why they would have a problem with her boyfriend.:o

lizchris
Mar 20th, 2006, 03:34 PM
Considering his complexion I should correct you and say that Tony Parker is white

It is easy to tell he is half black. He has the same complexion as one of my nieces and she has two black parents.

decemberlove
Mar 20th, 2006, 03:41 PM
No surprise. A lot of older Latinos don't like black men. I'd wait a while to tell my abuela, too. Sometimes it just isn't worth it to upset an older woman who is set in her ways.

Paldias
Mar 20th, 2006, 03:43 PM
As long as she doesn't have a problem with it then it's okay. Eventually the mother/grandmother will die off and be unable to preach their evil. :o

SJW
Mar 20th, 2006, 03:47 PM
No surprise. A lot of older Latinos don't like black men. I'd wait a while to tell my abuela, too. Sometimes it just isn't worth it to upset an older woman who is set in her ways.

that always surprised me. don't they have black people in places like Brazil, Cuba, Puerto Rico etc :confused:
*excuse my ignorance. don't have Latinos in England*

lizchris
Mar 20th, 2006, 03:59 PM
No surprise. A lot of older Latinos don't like black men. I'd wait a while to tell my abuela, too. Sometimes it just isn't worth it to upset an older woman who is set in her ways.


Many of the younger one don't like black men either.:rolleyes: :o

lizchris
Mar 20th, 2006, 04:01 PM
:rolleyes: @ Latinos (the good majority of them)...always trying to run away from their indian/native and african roots...but its no mystery Eva has been on the record as saying that she felt ugly as a child because they used to call her the 'dark one' or something like that because all of her sisters etc were fair-skin, and she was darker:rolleyes:


Everything you said is true. I read the same thing about her. I wonder what her fair skinned sisiters are doing now? I know they aren't as famous as their "dark' sister.

kimi
Mar 20th, 2006, 04:24 PM
:rolleyes: @ Latinos (the good majority of them)...always trying to run away from their indian/native and african roots...but its no mystery Eva has been on the record as saying that she felt ugly as a child because they used to call her the 'dark one' or something like that because all of her sisters etc were fair-skin, and she was darker:rolleyes:

Yeah I read that, too. Eva was saying that all her sisters are pale and blond.

SelesFan70
Mar 20th, 2006, 04:30 PM
Publicity whore!!

I think you mean: Publicity HO! :rolleyes: She's on my very last nerve.

timafi
Mar 20th, 2006, 04:33 PM
pardon my french but granny can kiss Tony's ass
old fart mofo :mad: :mad: :mad:

tonythetiger
Mar 20th, 2006, 04:40 PM
So, let me get this right. A Litino has the audacity to discriminate against someone who is Black? That whole train of thought is indicative of crabs in a barrel. She has some nerve looking down her wrinked brown nose when most people think hispanics are in a lower class than blacks. That really ticks me off! :fiery:

Martian KC
Mar 20th, 2006, 04:41 PM
Eva really needs to stop going on about her and Tony Parker. I can't take it anymore.

SelesFan70
Mar 20th, 2006, 04:42 PM
who you telling...she probably thought Teri got too much 'shine' in the last few weeks for her 'new' revelations...and had to come with something 'scandalous' this week...i can't wait to that show ends and they all go back somewhere in oblivion...Nicolette Sheridan running around 'whoring' around her relationship with Michael bolton:rolleyes:

3 more years max. :bounce: Grey's Anatomy is already beating them in the ratings. :D

Principessa
Mar 20th, 2006, 04:43 PM
how annoying is this woman. :rolleyes:

tonythetiger
Mar 20th, 2006, 04:44 PM
Eva really needs to stop going on about her and Tony Parker. I can't take it anymore.

I don't think it will last. She is just as whorish as J.Lo. I wonder what her grandmammie has to say about all the men she's been with. Or maybe she doesn't care about that if she just whores around with white men. :shrug:

lizchris
Mar 20th, 2006, 04:46 PM
I don't think it will last. She is just as whorish as J.Lo. I wonder what her grandmammie has to say about all the men she's been with. Or maybe she doesn't care about that if she just whores around with white men. :shrug:


I doubt her abuela had a problem with her first husband; he was white.:tape:

Infiniti2001
Mar 20th, 2006, 04:47 PM
I'm still waiting for her 15 minutes to be up :lol: God I hated the woman on Y&R for her bad acting, and detest her even more now even though I've never seen desperate houewivee :fiery:

Aquanetta
Mar 20th, 2006, 04:59 PM
This picture encapsulates how I feel about the Mexican.

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/warner_brothers/the_dukes_of_hazzard/eva_longoria/dukespreg.jpg

tonythetiger
Mar 20th, 2006, 05:16 PM
She literally needs to grow up.

spartanfan
Mar 20th, 2006, 06:13 PM
I PERSONALLY THINK THAT EVA IS EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL!!!! NOT SO MANY YEARS AGO HERE IN THE USA, WOMEN OF COLOR WERE NOT HELD UP TO BE THINGS OF BEAUTY, AND THAT YOU HAD TO BE OF EUROPEAN DESCENT TO BE SEEN AS BEAUTIFUL. PERHAPS THAT'S WHY I DON'T MIND HER BEING IN THE MEDIA SO MUCH.



This picture encapsulates how I feel about the Mexican.

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/warner_brothers/the_dukes_of_hazzard/eva_longoria/dukespreg.jpg

No Name Face
Mar 20th, 2006, 06:25 PM
he's not even that dark skinned. i'm half too and i'm like one or two shades darker than he is.

not that it should matter anyway, it's pretty pathetic. i thought latinos and blacks got along in that regard --- like it wasn't a big deal. guess i was wrong.

Aquanetta
Mar 20th, 2006, 06:29 PM
I PERSONALLY THINK THAT EVA IS EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL!!!! NOT SO MANY YEARS AGO HERE IN THE USA, WOMEN OF COLOR WERE NOT HELD UP TO BE THINGS OF BEAUTY, AND THAT YOU HAD TO BE OF EUROPEAN DESCENT TO BE SEEN AS BEAUTIFUL. PERHAPS THAT'S WHY I DON'T MIND HER BEING IN THE MEDIA SO MUCH.

You didn't have to be of European descent.

You just had to "European-ize" your look to get noticed.

Halle.

J.Lo.

Beyonce.

And now Eva.

She doesn't look like this anymore:

http://www.eva-longoria.net/gallery/data/655/2eva-longoria_net-1993roymiller-highschool-01.jpg

Black Mamba.
Mar 20th, 2006, 06:34 PM
You didn't have to be of European descent.

You just had to "European-ize" your look to get noticed.

Halle.

J.Lo.

Beyonce.

And now Eva.

She doesn't look like this anymore:

http://www.eva-longoria.net/gallery/data/655/2eva-longoria_net-1993roymiller-highschool-01.jpg


I agree with what you said because in television, movies, etc a Eurocentric standard of beauty is applied much like it is applied in everyday life.

Aquanetta
Mar 20th, 2006, 06:39 PM
I agree with what you said because in television, movies, etc a Eurocentric standard of beauty is applied much like it is applied in everyday life.

Exactly. Even Queen Latifah and more recently Mary J. Blige are playing the game.

No Name Face
Mar 20th, 2006, 06:41 PM
You didn't have to be of European descent.

You just had to "European-ize" your look to get noticed.

Halle.

J.Lo.

Beyonce.

And now Eva.

She doesn't look like this anymore:


this is one of the first things i pretty much agree with you on. :yeah:

they are all very european looking, except for their skin color.

Aquanetta
Mar 20th, 2006, 06:43 PM
they are all very european looking, except for their skin color.

There are Europeans that are darker than Halle and the other de-ethnicizers.

No Name Face
Mar 20th, 2006, 06:45 PM
There are Europeans that are darker than Halle and the other de-ethnicizers.

now now, i wouldn't quite say they de-ethnicized themselves, especially with halle. she's half white.

beyonce and halle date black men.
jlo dates...well...everyone.

meyerpl
Mar 20th, 2006, 06:48 PM
When my father returned from the Korean war, one of his buddies asked him to visit his parents in Texas and break the news that their son had married a Korean girl. The parents proudly opened their affluent home to my father. At dinner, my father broke the news. The parents reacted with shock and horror. When his friend's mother voiced concern about the viability of the newlyweds coming from such different "stations" in life and how they could possibly relate with her, my father answered that he knew their new daughter-in-law quite well, and he was sure that after she got to know her new in-laws, in time she would learn to accept them.
The marriage lasted and my father received Christmas cards from the family for the next thirty years.

No Name Face
Mar 20th, 2006, 06:50 PM
at least i know i won't have this problem with my parents.
sucks though.

Aquanetta
Mar 20th, 2006, 07:02 PM
now now, i wouldn't quite say they de-ethnicized themselves, especially with halle. she's half white.

beyonce and halle date black men.
jlo dates...well...everyone.

I know Halle’s half white. Everyone should know that by now.

What I meant was that the de-ethnicizers are wearing their hair lighter, the styles are more European and even their fashion sense is from that side of the pond. No one is trying to look too ethnic. J.Lo’s couple of ventures into “Boriqua”-wear was when work (music videos and the VMA’s) required it.

No Name Face, you bring up the fact that some of them date men of color. Um, Heidi Klum married Seal! De-ethnicizing has nothing to do with who you date.

decemberlove
Mar 20th, 2006, 08:31 PM
that always surprised me. don't they have black people in places like Brazil, Cuba, Puerto Rico etc :confused:
*excuse my ignorance. don't have Latinos in England*

Yeah, it's pretty much what Joy said. The lighter ones are terrified that somewhere in their past there might be a black person in there. It's really pathetic. My abuela aims her racism at black men and not black women, cos "black men are lazy and the women end up doing all the work."

decemberlove
Mar 20th, 2006, 08:35 PM
You didn't have to be of European descent.

You just had to "European-ize" your look to get noticed.

Halle.

J.Lo.

Beyonce.

And now Eva.

She doesn't look like this anymore:

http://www.eva-longoria.net/gallery/data/655/2eva-longoria_net-1993roymiller-highschool-01.jpg


I think the best example ever is probably Rita Hayworth.

What she did to her hair & her hairline :tape:

decemberlove
Mar 20th, 2006, 08:44 PM
:rolleyes: @ Latinos (the good majority of them)...always trying to run away from their indian/native and african roots...but its no mystery Eva has been on the record as saying that she felt ugly as a child because they used to call her the 'dark one' or something like that because all of her sisters etc were fair-skin, and she was darker:rolleyes:

Have you heard what Jessica Alba said?

"People love to put that Latina label over me because I guess it's hot and trendy to be Latin these days. But... I don't even speak Spanish. If you are going to represent a culture, you should at least be able to speak the language... As a third generation American, I feel as if I have finally cut loose from my Mexican roots."

:retard:

lizchris
Mar 20th, 2006, 09:03 PM
Have you heard what Jessica Alba said?

"People love to put that Latina label over me because I guess it's hot and trendy to be Latin these days. But... I don't even speak Spanish. If you are going to represent a culture, you should at least be able to speak the language... As a third generation American, I feel as if I have finally cut loose from my Mexican roots."

:retard:

Isn't her mother white?

I dont' likle her; she strikes me as a phony. Plus I don't like what she said about Oprah after the Hermes incident.

RVD
Mar 20th, 2006, 09:04 PM
No surprise. A lot of older Latinos don't like black men. I'd wait a while to tell my abuela, too. Sometimes it just isn't worth it to upset an older woman who is set in her ways.As someone already posted---younger ones too (to some extent).

My second wife was Salvadorian and they called her 'negrita' [or whatever the word for 'little black one' is] growing up. And according to her, not in an endearing way. And she is far lighter than Eva L. All her relatives treated her quite than her fairer-skinned siblings.
Also according to my ex, her culture held very strong beliefs by associating success with color. :confused: :scratch: :confused: I never understood that one.

Strangely, the Black and Latin communities have an interesting love/hate relationship out here in the Bay Area. I think that it's mostly due to the fact that we pursue many of the same agendas, jobs, and how the Real Estate powers manipulate neighborhoods and communities.
I've always held to a theory about this, but won't post it here, since it is fairly obvious. ;)
Anyway, if there were ever two 'races' [GOD, I hate that word] with similar dreams, desires, drives, etc..., these two would top the list. :cool:

RVD
Mar 20th, 2006, 09:09 PM
You didn't have to be of European descent.

You just had to "European-ize" your look to get noticed.

Halle.

J.Lo.

Beyonce.

And now Eva.

She doesn't look like this anymore:

http://www.eva-longoria.net/gallery/data/655/2eva-longoria_net-1993roymiller-highschool-01.jpgThat is an incredibly poignant statement. And very true.
I'm still wondering WTH happened to Queen Latifah. It's as if she just up and disappeared. :eek: :shrug:

No Name Face
Mar 20th, 2006, 09:16 PM
Have you heard what Jessica Alba said?

"People love to put that Latina label over me because I guess it's hot and trendy to be Latin these days. But... I don't even speak Spanish. If you are going to represent a culture, you should at least be able to speak the language... As a third generation American, I feel as if I have finally cut loose from my Mexican roots."

:retard:

:rolls:
you've got to be kidding me :spit:

edit - you can't just ignore who you are, regardless of what mix you happen to be.

decemberlove
Mar 20th, 2006, 10:06 PM
yeah liz, jessica's mother is white and according to Jessica, her mother was 'disowned by her family when she became involved with Jessica's Mexican father...i guess you see why many Latinos try to 'lighten' up their color line because at the end of the day they are still spics to some whites:tape: :o

Love, i can see why Jessica might not identify too much with her Latina/Mexican heritage (it wouldn't be a surprise if her father tried to distance himself and his children from it)- i do agree with her that language is a big part of culture and to her defense, i can see how she could become iritated by people in the media, industry trying to put her into that little 'latina' box...but the statement if said like that without any context does come across as pretty ignorant...


I do agree with her somewhat regarding the language, BUT you would never hear an Italian-American or German-American saying they don't consider themselves Italian or German because they don't know the language. Most Italians my age don't speak a word of Italian, and yet they are still very proud of their heritage. I think in a decade or so, language will not be such a large part of the Latin-American culture, just like it no longer is with the Italian-American culture (although for some time it was).

And yeah, I think she does struggle with being half white and half Mexican. And her father probably did try to distance them from the culture (like my family tried to do). It's easier to integrate that way. She probably never heard Spanish in her household, just like I didn't cos my mother married a man who doesn't understand Spanish.
I had my issues with it at one time, too - I didn't know what to label myself as on tests, etc. But I can't imagine ever saying something like that.

SJW
Mar 20th, 2006, 10:37 PM
Yeah, it's pretty much what Joy said. The lighter ones are terrified that somewhere in their past there might be a black person in there. It's really pathetic. My abuela aims her racism at black men and not black women, cos "black men are lazy and the women end up doing all the work."
:lol:
this is the case in some areas of my extended family :lol::tape:

RVD
Mar 20th, 2006, 10:41 PM
yeah liz, jessica's mother is white and according to Jessica, her mother was 'disowned by her family when she became involved with Jessica's Mexican father...i guess you see why many Latinos try to 'lighten' up their color line because at the end of the day they are still spics to some whites:tape: :o

Love, i can see why Jessica might not identify too much with her Latina/Mexican heritage (it wouldn't be a surprise if her father tried to distance himself and his children from it)- i do agree with her that language is a big part of culture and to her defense, i can see how she could become iritated by people in the media, industry trying to put her into that little 'latina' box...but the statement if said like that without any context does come across as pretty ignorant...

ReeVee- its the same with the blacks and latinos in NYC for the most part- they pretty much integrate, and live in 'harmony' with one another in certain neighborhoods but at the end of the day many still buy into the mentality of not wanting to be at the bottom of the totem pole in the 'white man's eyes' so to speak (puerto ricans thinking they are better than dominicans who think they are better than hatians- you see the color scheme getting darker;))...and all it does is feed in to the divide and conquer mode, which keeps them busy preoccupied with stupidity, and keeps them all in the same boat- one of poverty:sad:"Hammer hits nail-head squarely!" :worship:
You've answered my theory perfectly. And the reason has to do with the resistance of White America becoming the new minority, and maintaining a power balance that benefits them.
There have been countless articles on this very subject over the past 2 decades that I know of, and how to maintain a division between the fastest growing ethnic group [Latino] and every body else. This is why the Republicans pursued the Latino vote so tenaciously. And not surprisingly, it worked. :shrug: Moreover, with Jeb Bush's relationship to the Latin community being what it is, and the very strong ties to the Catholic faith, the Latino vote will more likely again be a huge base for them. :sad:

Black Mamba.
Mar 20th, 2006, 10:44 PM
yeah liz, jessica's mother is white and according to Jessica, her mother was 'disowned by her family when she became involved with Jessica's Mexican father...i guess you see why many Latinos try to 'lighten' up their color line because at the end of the day they are still spics to some whites:tape: :o

Love, i can see why Jessica might not identify too much with her Latina/Mexican heritage (it wouldn't be a surprise if her father tried to distance himself and his children from it)- i do agree with her that language is a big part of culture and to her defense, i can see how she could become iritated by people in the media, industry trying to put her into that little 'latina' box...but the statement if said like that without any context does come across as pretty ignorant...

ReeVee- its the same with the blacks and latinos in NYC for the most part- they pretty much integrate, and live in 'harmony' with one another in certain neighborhoods but at the end of the day many still buy into the mentality of not wanting to be at the bottom of the totem pole in the 'white man's eyes' so to speak (puerto ricans thinking they are better than dominicans who think they are better than hatians- you see the color scheme getting darker;))...and all it does is feed in to the divide and conquer mode, which keeps them busy preoccupied with stupidity, and keeps them all in the same boat- one of poverty:sad:


Wow, this thread is getting really good. I agree 100% about races trying not to be at the bottom of the totem pole. I mean for discussion purposes if we are honest with ourselves we know that Blacks are considered the bottom level of the totem pole( I'm Black and I disagree with this) and Whites are considered the top/head level. Other races are in the middle sections of the totem. This explains why Eva's abuela would have a problem with Tony because she probably believes that by dating a Black guy, Eva is in essence making a downward move instead of an upword move. I have many friends of different races and ethnicites and the common demoninator is that their families would be ok if they married or dated a white person, but would disown them if they married or dated a black person because that's seen as a downward move.

RainyDays
Mar 20th, 2006, 10:50 PM
Salma doesn't try to 'cut loose' from her mexican roots.
in fact, she embraces that she is a successful mexican in hollywood.

spartanfan
Mar 20th, 2006, 10:56 PM
:lol:
this is the case in some areas of my extended family :lol::tape:

..but you could also make this argument about a certain percentage of any race or culture, be it black, white, lation, asian or whatever. I just hate stereotypes.

Infiniti2001
Mar 20th, 2006, 10:58 PM
yup. I had a Haitian friend and her family has lots of massa's blood in them so to speak (and mama dearest wanted to ensure that the lineage got even lighter/whiter) and her mother would not allow her to date a light-skin, African-American friend of mine, who is even lighter than I am, but she was okay with her dating Latino men, and people say that we aren't still dealing with race and color. I always say massa did a good damn job of mental slavery- the chains are still unbroken. Wake Up People. I'm about to get all Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson up in herre:lol:

:haha: carry on, I enjoy reading it :lol:

Joana
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:00 PM
Well, won't granny now be able to find it out if she reads the newspapers?

leeber
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:01 PM
I am not surprised at this revelation:rolleyes:

If you ever saw Ms. Longoria's family, you'd see why they would have a problem with her boyfriend.:o
what's wrong with her family?

No Name Face
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:03 PM
this upgrade/downgrade talk is interesting.

is this practice common in the black community? will a dark skinned black person want to date a lighter skinned black person over a dark skinned black person? (because of the aforementioned reasons)

spartanfan
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:04 PM
Salma doesn't try to 'cut loose' from her mexican roots.
in fact, she embraces that she is a successful mexican in hollywood.


While your statement is true. I also think in Hollywood there is a sort of quota system. While Salma is quite well known, how many other women (or men for that fact) of color are widely known? How many Asian-American actors/actresses have become household names like Aniston, Joile, Roberts, or Ryan. The same can be said of Native Americans, or Latino-Americans and so on. What I'm saying is that currently Hollywood only allows for some many actors/actresses of color in the room at a time.

No Name Face
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:08 PM
While your statement is true. I also think in Hollywood there is a sort of quota system. While Salma is quite well known, how many other women (or men for that fact) of color are widely known? How many Asian-American actors/actresses have become household names like Aniston, Joile, Roberts, or Ryan. The same can be said of Native Americans, or Latino-Americans and so on. What I'm saying is that currently Hollywood only allows for some many actors/actresses of color in the room at a time.

i think tyra banks is the most known model. period.
serena and venus are probably the most known tennis players period.
when i think of 'good actor' (not black, just good actor) --- denzel, john travolta (:unsure: :scared: ) and samuel jackson spring to mind immediately. that might be because i'm black though, but i dunno...that's a good point.

hablo
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:09 PM
Have you heard what Jessica Alba said?

"People love to put that Latina label over me because I guess it's hot and trendy to be Latin these days. But... I don't even speak Spanish. If you are going to represent a culture, you should at least be able to speak the language... As a third generation American, I feel as if I have finally cut loose from my Mexican roots."

:retard:
:eek:

spartanfan
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:10 PM
this upgrade/downgrade talk is interesting.

is this practice common in the black community? will a dark skinned black person want to date a lighter skinned black person over a dark skinned black person? (because of the aforementioned reasons)

In a word. YES. Eventhough I don't think its as common place as it once was. I think now the focus is how well educated your potential spouse is and their income potential. I think the younger the generation, the more the above rule applies.

Stamp Paid
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:15 PM
:lol:
this is the case in some areas of my extended family :lol::tape:

My immediate, Jesus. :o

No Name Face
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:16 PM
Dennis, its not played out like that so much in the black community in the U.S. (more so in the Caribbean, especially in the past but this is all due to the history of colonization, same situation as Latin America etc) but in the past and probably still in some instances it might play out in terms of economics/social status, and you will find more often than not that the family with the higher social/economic status, so happens to be of a lighter hue;) You probably might still find some of that in old-school money AA families in the south, but it is it a common occurrence in the black community, I would have to say no.



thanks for the reply :)

i'm a light skinned black person, darker skinned mulatto (however you wanna see it) and i love dark skinned girls --- although i don't really have a preference about any race. but i wouldn't want a girl to notice/date/whatever me because i'm lighter skinned. but it's good to know it's not that common, i never thought that until it was stated.

In a word. YES. Eventhough I don't think its as common place as it once was. I think now the focus is how well educated your potential spouse is and their income potential. I think the younger the generation, the more the above rule applies.

ah. i like this. it's based more on merit. and i guess it will benefit me greatly in a few years. :lol:

RVD
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:16 PM
Wow, this thread is getting really good. I agree 100% about races trying not to be at the bottom of the totem pole. I mean for discussion purposes if we are honest with ourselves we know that Blacks are considered the bottom level of the totem pole( I'm Black and I disagree with this) and Whites are considered the top/head level. Other races are in the middle sections of the totem. This explains why Eva's abuela would have a problem with Tony because she probably believes that by dating a Black guy, Eva is in essence making a downward move instead of an upword move. I have many friends of different races and ethnicites and the common demoninator is that their families would be ok if they married or dated a white person, but would disown them if they married or dated a black person because that's seen as a downward move.This line of thinking is prevalent in the Asian culture as well. They see a marriage to a White man or woman as a move 'upward', hence the high number of Asian/White relationships and marriages.

My Mexican nieces and nephews all tried relationships with White Americans, because they prefer the Blond-haired blue-eyed image. They hold to the notion that their babies will look ...um...more attractive with fairer features. Which is funny when you consider that genetically speaking, their chances of bearing a Blond-haired blue-eyed baby is lower than 50%. But do they listen to me? :lol: Kids these days. :rolleyes: :)

Black Mamba.
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:18 PM
The slave mentality is a real big issue. It amazes me how races can believe what the media or others say about one group of people, but at the same time claim the media is lying when it concerns their race. For example, I can imagine that Eva's Abuela has a negative view of Black males because of personal experience, stereotype, the media, or all of the above. I also believe on that same token she probably wouldn't believe what the media says about Mexican males.

No Name Face
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:19 PM
My Mexican nieces and nephews all tried relationships with White Americans, because they prefer the Blond-haired blue-eyed image. They hold to the notion that their babies will look ...um...more attractive with fairer features. Which is funny when you consider that genetically speaking, their chances of bearing a Blond-haired blue-eyed baby is lower than 50%. But do they listen to me? :lol: Kids these days. :rolleyes: :)

ah yes. i'm black/german and neither me or my sisters have blonde hair/blue eyes, which is what my mom has (well it's dirty blonde). i think there's a greater chance our kids will have them, if we marry a blond haired/blue eyed white person.

actually my middle sister has natural blondeish highlights, but it's not that noticeable and it's darkening now that she's getting older. my youngest sister has typical "black girl" hair, as do i.

i don't know why people think that. but people do think that if you're mixed, you're hot. i personally don't think i get a thing out of being half white, except that i'm not as dark as my dad :shrug:

Stamp Paid
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:21 PM
this upgrade/downgrade talk is interesting.

is this practice common in the black community? will a dark skinned black person want to date a lighter skinned black person over a dark skinned black person? (because of the aforementioned reasons)

It depends on where they live in the US. I know when I was living in New York, I never had any real perception of light skinned/dark skinned until I came to the South. Thats when I became aware of light skinned/dark skinned, good hair/bad hair, etc. I think its happens more in the South than anywhere else.

RVD
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:21 PM
yup. I had a Haitian friend and her family has lots of massa's blood in them so to speak (and mama dearest wanted to ensure that the lineage got even lighter/whiter) and her mother would not allow her to date a light-skin, African-American friend of mine, who is even lighter than I am, but she was okay with her dating Latino men, and people say that we aren't still dealing with race and color. I always say massa did a good damn job of mental slavery- the chains are still unbroken. Wake Up People. I'm about to get all Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson up in herre:lol::haha: :yeah:
Yep massa embedded that deeeeeeeeep-seated hatred of darkness, while simultaneously getting him some of that sweet dark berry. :tape:

Black Mamba.
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:22 PM
this upgrade/downgrade talk is interesting.

is this practice common in the black community? will a dark skinned black person want to date a lighter skinned black person over a dark skinned black person? (because of the aforementioned reasons)

I can't speak for everyone, but I feel it is some what common in the Black community ie.. Lighter than a brown paper bag.

No Name Face
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:23 PM
It depends on where they live in the US. I know when I was living in New York, I never had any real perception of light skinned/dark skinned until I came to the South. Thats when I became aware of light skinned/dark skinned, good hair/bad hair, etc. I think its happens more in the South than anywhere else.

ah...the north/south thing.
that makes sense.

SJW
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:23 PM
ah yes. i'm black/german and neither me or my sisters have blonde hair/blue eyes, which is what my mom has (well it's dirty blonde). i think there's a greater chance our kids will have them, if we marry a blond haired/blue eyed white person.

actually my middle sister has natural blondeish highlights, but it's not that noticeable and it's darkening now that she's getting older. my youngest sister has typical "black girl" hair, as do i.

i don't know why people think that. but people do think that if you're mixed, you're hot. i personally don't think i get a thing out of being half white, except that i'm not as dark as my dad :shrug:
not picking on you, but why do you always say German as opposed to White?
i just thought it would be black/white or African American/German.
again....there's probably a reason...just want to know what it is :)

RVD
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:28 PM
this upgrade/downgrade talk is interesting.

is this practice common in the black community? will a dark skinned black person want to date a lighter skinned black person over a dark skinned black person? (because of the aforementioned reasons)When I was MUCH younger, this practice was almost universal in my surroundings. I nearly fell for it too, accept I was fortunate enough to attend school with the darkest most attractive sista I'd ever seen in my natural life! I mean, she was darker than licorice, and just as sweet. :lol:
I think to some extent, the pursuit for the 'high-yellow beauty' still exists. But for a different reason. Don't get me wrong though, for there were just as many Blacks who would NEVER date or marry lighter for the same reasons.
Many were self-defined Black militants. ;)

hablo
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:28 PM
this upgrade/downgrade talk is interesting.

is this practice common in the black community? will a dark skinned black person want to date a lighter skinned black person over a dark skinned black person? (because of the aforementioned reasons)
I had some caribbean (guadeloupe, martinique) friends and it appeared to be a big deal what shade of black you were ; they even have names for the different shades of black.... I got the impression that lighter skinned were in a higher social class or were more privileged in some way... goes back to the slavery days, I guess.....
I hope I'm making sense :tape:

ampers&
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:28 PM
The slave mentality is a real big issue. It amazes me how races can believe what the media or others say about one group of people, but at the same time claim the media is lying when it concerns their race. For example, I can imagine that Eva's Abuela has a negative view of Black males because of personal experience, stereotype, the media, or all of the above. I also believe on that same token she probably wouldn't believe what the media says about Mexican males.
that is absolutely true.
while we always try to defer stereotypes from our own race, we tend to think that other stereotypes apply to other groups of people. i tend to think it has to do with each race trying to see the best in themselves while continuing to down other groups of people for the advancement of their own group. it seems to be all about jockeying for position in a white dominated culture. media (which is controlled by whites) continuously puts out these negative stereotypes and we naively accept them for other groups while turning a blind eye to our own. it’s a cycle that does nothing to advance any of us….only whites.:shrug:

Stamp Paid
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:32 PM
LOL, any of yall girls ever heard this before: "You look good, to be brown skinned" :lol:

SJW
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:35 PM
I had some caribbean (guadeloupe, martinique) friends and it appeared to be a big deal what shade of black you were ; they even have names for the different shades of black.... I got the impression that lighter skinned were in a higher social class or were more privileged in some way... goes back to the slavery days, I guess.....
I hope I'm making sense :tape:

since they're french speaking, i doubt they had the same names, but "blick" is a common one when bajans refer to a really really dark black person.:tape:

Black Mamba.
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:36 PM
that is absolutely true.
while we always try to defer stereotypes from our own race, we tend to think that other stereotypes apply to other groups of people. i tend to think it has to do with each race trying to see the best in themselves while continuing to down other groups of people for the advancement of their own group. it seems to be all about jockeying for position in a white dominated culture. media (which is controlled by whites) continuously puts out these negative stereotypes and we naively accept them for other groups while turning a blind eye to our own. it’s a cycle that does nothing to advance any of us….only whites.:shrug:


Real Talk!

ampers&
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:37 PM
LOL, any of yall girls ever heard this before: "You look good, to be brown skinned" :lol:
lol...naw.
but i always wanted to be darker skinned for weird reason.
i hate my complexion.

Stamp Paid
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:39 PM
no J. cause i don't think i'm brown-skin;) Btw, what shade of black is brown-skin:confused: (give me the example of someone:D )Knizzle and I was just talking about that this morning, different people describe certain complexions differently:lol:

LOL, to me, Gabrielle Union/Serena/Venus are brown-skinned.

spartanfan
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:42 PM
It depends on where they live in the US. I know when I was living in New York, I never had any real perception of light skinned/dark skinned until I came to the South. Thats when I became aware of light skinned/dark skinned, good hair/bad hair, etc. I think its happens more in the South than anywhere else.


THAT HAS BEEN MY EXPERIENCE AS WELL. I GREW UP AND WENT TO SCHOOL IN MICHIGAN AND WISCONSIN AND NEVER HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT LIGHT VS DARK SKIN COLOR UNTIL I MOVED TO ATLANTA. BUT AGAIN I THINK THAT MOST PEOPLE UNDER 30 OR 35 DON'T BUY INTO THAT WHOLE LIGHT VS DARK THING ANYMORE. ITS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY TO THEM.

RVD
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:43 PM
that is absolutely true.
while we always try to defer stereotypes from our own race, we tend to think that other stereotypes apply to other groups of people. i tend to think it has to do with each race trying to see the best in themselves while continuing to down other groups of people for the advancement of their own group. it seems to be all about jockeying for position in a white dominated culture. media (which is controlled by whites) continuously puts out these negative stereotypes and we naively accept them for other groups while turning a blind eye to our own. it’s a cycle that does nothing to advance any of us….only whites.:shrug:Very true. And might I add that in today's job market, just as tall people are awarded better pay, position, and preferential treatment, the same can still be said of the light-skinned or European-ized Blacks. It's a very complex issue.

I used to wonder if Tyra Banks and Iman had kept their hair kinky, how would they have faired in the modeling world. Nowadays, you see all kinds of models, but the European-ized look is still highly prevalent and prized.

Personally, I'd like to see more Asian, Indian (American), Latino, Persian, Egyptian, and other Middle-Eastern models. That way, people get more of a worldly representation of beauty. :hearts:

Stamp Paid
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:47 PM
THAT HAS BEEN MY EXPERIENCE AS WELL. I GREW UP AND WENT TO SCHOOL IN MICHIGAN AND WISCONSIN AND NEVER HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT LIGHT VS DARK SKIN COLOR UNTIL I MOVED TO ATLANTA. BUT AGAIN I THINK THAT MOST PEOPLE UNDER 30 OR 35 DON'T BUY INTO THAT WHOLE LIGHT VS DARK THING ANYMORE. ITS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY TO THEM.

Yeah. I remember I wastalking to this girl, and she was talking about some dark skinne dsista. (Now, this girl's grandmother is white, but she claim mixed like her mama was white LOL.) But this chocolate girl came by, and she had her hair natural. And the girl I was talking to was like "Man she looks ******ish" And I was like, Ive heard of somebody "acting" ******ish, but I'd never heard someone described as looking ******ish. So I asked her to expound and she was like "Shes real black and her hair is nappy. Thats ******ish." I wanted to hit her, and I was like "Damn, so is that what you think about me then?" and she was like "Nah, your hair aint ******ishly nappy like theirs is." :rolleyes:

ampers&
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:53 PM
Very true. And might I add that in today's job market, just as tall people are awarded better pay, position, and preferential treatment, the same can still be said of the light-skinned or European-ized Blacks. It's a very complex issue.

I used to wonder if Tyra Banks and Iman had kept their hair kinky, how would they have faired in the modeling world. Nowadays, you see all kinds of models, but the European-ized look is still highly prevalent and prized.

Personally, I'd like to see more Asian, Indian (American), Latino, Persian, Egyptian, and other Middle-Eastern models. That way, people get more of a worldly representation of beauty. :hearts:
lol....i think Middle Eastern models are particularly :drool: worthy.
and yay about tall people getting better pay, position and preferential treatment.:rocker2: being an Amazon is finally about to pay off. :lol: :tape:
but i guess this has to do more with gender differences than it has to do with height.

and i doubt Tyra or Iman would have faired as well in the modeling world with kinky hair. but i bet they still would have done better than darker skinned girls with a European-ized look.
complexion has (and will continue) to play a greater role i think.

hablo
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:55 PM
since they're french speaking, i doubt they had the same names, but "blick" is a common one when bajans refer to a really really dark black person.:tape:that's one ugly word :lol::tape:

for me the relations between blacks was much simpler in Africa :shrug:
you're either black or métisse ;)

In North America (or even in France), people never guessed where I was from correctly... in the U.S. some people even spoke to me in Spanish :help:

hablo
Mar 20th, 2006, 11:59 PM
Yeah. I remember I wastalking to this girl, and she was talking about some dark skinne dsista. (Now, this girl's grandmother is white, but she claim mixed like her mama was white LOL.) But this chocolate girl came by, and she had her hair natural. And the girl I was talking to was like "Man she looks ******ish" And I was like, Ive heard of somebody "acting" ******ish, but I'd never heard someone described as looking ******ish. So I asked her to expound and she was like "Shes real black and her hair is nappy. Thats ******ish." I wanted to hit her, and I was like "Damn, so is that what you think about me then?" and she was like "Nah, your hair aint ******ishly nappy like theirs is." :rolleyes:
I can't believe say this kind of stuff or think like this! :o:fiery:

hablo
Mar 21st, 2006, 12:02 AM
hablovah, if you think your friends from Guadeloupe and MArtinique had many names for different color of skin, you haven't see the vocabulary in Brasil- its unreal how many diff. terms and names they have to describe people- its pretty funny.
I'm learning quite a bit in this thread .... :yeah:

I didn't know this kind of stuff happened in Brasil too !!!

But I suppose I shouldn't be surprised!!! :lol:

hablo
Mar 21st, 2006, 12:14 AM
Brasil- are you kidding me? The biggest class structure there is, based mainly on economics but of course the haves are mainly of European descent and the have-nots black and mixed race:sad: Its pretty sad actually, in some parts of Africa women use some kind of skin formula to lighten their skin and it pretty much deforms/scars their faces...just like many Asians are going through great lengths and pains to get plastic surgeries to look more white/European.
ok that's pretty bad.... :eek:

Rocketta
Mar 21st, 2006, 12:29 AM
Is this really so:eek: I am going to have to ask for some proof here... i can see preferential treatment, some of it probably being 'unconscious'...just like blondes or attractive in the work place or other places might get preferential treatment but pay..that don't sound right...if that is so, wow...it is kinda hard to know even your co-workers salary because most places make it somewhat of a policy for employees not to talk about it. I guess it isn't that unimaginable if men to this day still make more than women for the same jobs in some cases.

Oh I think this is highly likely considering they did a study a couple of years ago and people were getting discriminated in the job market based on their name alone. :(

CrossCourt~Rally
Mar 21st, 2006, 12:44 AM
Grandmama needs some shades :cool:

RVD
Mar 21st, 2006, 01:18 AM
Is this really so:eek: I am going to have to ask for some proof here... i can see preferential treatment, some of it probably being 'unconscious'...just like blondes or attractive in the work place or other places might get preferential treatment but pay..that don't sound right...if that is so, wow...it is kinda hard to know even your co-workers salary because most places make it somewhat of a policy for employees not to talk about it. I guess it isn't that unimaginable if men to this day still make more than women for the same jobs in some cases.Yeah, unfortunately it's true. Part of my job description was hiring for computer engineering positions, manufacturing floor positions, testers, etc. And what I immediately noticed where several things [that were later confirmed by a host of co-workers. ALL of whom were White themselves]. Very few Blacks [at that time] were hired on as Marketing Managers, because the company wanted to be seen in a certain light. However, if you were a tall light-skinned Black man, you usually got far enough to speak with the Marketing VP.
However, applicants for floor positions [testers, assemblers, and troubleshooters] usually had no problem. And it didn't matter what back groung they hailed from. I had some close relationships with HR and these nice young ladies would tell me everything because they were pissed off at the disparity in pay levels between the ethnic groups.
Executive managers were always White, however, and always paid top dollar.

I don't know how it is now, because I've been retired since '96.
But I was told what qualifications to look for, and sometimes told out-right what the applicant should be. :shrug:

I would like to know if this is still common practice from anyone reading this?
You don't have to give your name or any identifiable information. Just your experience in the area.

lizchris
Mar 21st, 2006, 01:22 AM
what's wrong with her family?

Everyone in her family has light hair, skin and eyes, but she has darker skin, hair and eyes. That is what I was talking about.

RVD
Mar 21st, 2006, 01:32 AM
Oh I think this is highly likely considering they did a study a couple of years ago and people were getting discriminated in the job market based on their name alone. :(Honestly, there have been sooooo many studies done on this subject that it would be hard NOT to find dozens of web sites on this very topic. Heer's one for example:
http://www.weattract.com/ASPhysBeautyHaveEasy.html
Related research has shown how overweight people and short men encounter consistent biases as well. For example, taller men are assumed to be more athletic, masculine, attractive, and higher in professional status than shorter men. Taller men (especially those 6' and over) are more likely to get jobs, get paid more (by thousands of dollars), and get promotions than shorter men who do equal quality and quantity of work. Although most women say height is not a deciding factor in their choices, less than 1% of women are taller than their husbands.

Joie...
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,8543-1868910,00.html
See last 4 paragraphs.

It's really not that unusual, even today, according to some of the articles I've just read.

Black Mamba.
Mar 21st, 2006, 01:35 AM
SMH at Jessica Alba, I understand her not speaking spanish, but just because you don't want to represent a particular culture, ethnicity, or race, doesn't mean you aren't part of that culture, ethnicity, or race. Society will see you how they see you and it doesn't matter what you think, they will label you and with those labels comes certain burdens that you must bear. I feel like Jessica doesn't want to deal with the issues Latinos, Blacks, Asians, etc have to deal with in hollywood where the roles they play represent their community.

No Name Face
Mar 21st, 2006, 01:39 AM
not picking on you, but why do you always say German as opposed to White?
i just thought it would be black/white or African American/German.
again....there's probably a reason...just want to know what it is :)

oh it's cool...i just know exactly where my white lineage comes from, as opposed to the black lineage. my grandma says we're west-indian but my dad says we're african-american...so i just say black as of now.

No Name Face
Mar 21st, 2006, 01:48 AM
Have ya'll noticed another one of Wendy's thread took off AGAIN- this time no fighting...yet, this is WTAWORLD:tape:

haha, i thought the exact same thing. although we're all co-posting peacefully and learning stuff.

and about the tall, light-skinned thing...i'm not sure if that's the case, but i recently got hired as a summer analyst for goldman sachs as an internship this summer. but i was definitely qualified (3.8 GPA, i intern at school, work, volunteer, etc...) but i wonder if it's a possibility they picked me over another person cuz of my "look." hope not. how can you quantify that anyway?

RVD
Mar 21st, 2006, 01:59 AM
haha, i thought the exact same thing. although we're all co-posting peacefully and learning stuff.

and about the tall, light-skinned thing...i'm not sure if that's the case, but i recently got hired as a summer analyst for goldman sachs as an internship this summer. but i was definitely qualified (3.8 GPA, i intern at school, work, volunteer, etc...) but i wonder if it's a possibility they picked me over another person cuz of my "look." hope not. how can you quantify that anyway?See post #99 and follow the links. And please understand that I am in no way suggesting that looks trump all else. However, image and the perception of image are both HUGE requirements in a great many markets and a great many job positions.
The only true way to know why you were hired would be to ask the hiring manager, and hopefully get an honest answer. Chances are, you won't get the truth since this is clearly discrimination. :lol: Your best bet would be to watch the types of people being hired. :shrug:

Black Mamba.
Mar 21st, 2006, 02:00 AM
haha, i thought the exact same thing. although we're all co-posting peacefully and learning stuff.

and about the tall, light-skinned thing...i'm not sure if that's the case, but i recently got hired as a summer analyst for goldman sachs as an internship this summer. but i was definitely qualified (3.8 GPA, i intern at school, work, volunteer, etc...) but i wonder if it's a possibility they picked me over another person cuz of my "look." hope not. how can you quantify that anyway?


You can't quantify it and I really don't think it's a good idea to either. You got the internship because the company clearly believes you bring something to the table. I for one have been in that same position and I knew the company might or might not be using be as the "token" or "model" minority, but if that would get me what I needed I was ok with it.

RVD
Mar 21st, 2006, 02:15 AM
You can't quantify it and I really don't think it's a good idea to either. You got the internship because the company clearly believes you bring something to the table. I for one have been in that same position and I knew the company might or might not be using be as the "token" or "model" minority, but if that would get me what I needed I was ok with it.Exactly.
Whether the reason be due to grades or some other [attractive] reason, you landed the job. ;)

P.S.
By 'ATTRACTIVE', I mean attractive to the position, such as PA skills, intelligence and the like. :) However, none of these things subtract from what decades of studies have shown to be true. :shrug:

No Name Face
Mar 21st, 2006, 02:46 AM
You can't quantify it and I really don't think it's a good idea to either. You got the internship because the company clearly believes you bring something to the table. I for one have been in that same position and I knew the company might or might not be using be as the "token" or "model" minority, but if that would get me what I needed I was ok with it.

yeah, goldman sachs is very diverse though, so it wasn't me being the token. in fact, throughout our whole interview process there were equal numbers of whites, blacks, asians, latinos, women...so...yeah, it's all good. :yeah:

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 03:08 PM
I think the best example ever is probably Rita Hayworth.

What she did to her hair & her hairline :tape:

I’ve only seen “Gilda” (via a film class) and she fooled me. Raquel Welch, however, did not.

dav abu
Mar 21st, 2006, 03:16 PM
Sur now that she has gone public with this surely her grandmother is going to hear about it?! unless she is locked away somewhere!

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 03:37 PM
Have you heard what Jessica Alba said?

"People love to put that Latina label over me because I guess it's hot and trendy to be Latin these days. But... I don't even speak Spanish. If you are going to represent a culture, you should at least be able to speak the language... As a third generation American, I feel as if I have finally cut loose from my Mexican roots."

:retard:

"Cut loose" may have been a poor choice of words.

Here are my Alba-isms on her heritage:

"My father is Mexican and very dark; my mother is very fair. I used to always get [script] breakdowns for things like Maria, the janitor's daughter who hangs around with white kids. I was born in the United States. I never thought about it until the industry made me think about being a Latin girl. It seemed like such a bizarre thing." (commenting on racial stereotyping).
"My grandfather was the only Mexican at his college, the only Hispanic person at work and the only one at the all-white country club. He tried to forget his Mexican roots, because he never wanted his kids to be made to feel different in America. He and my grandmother didn't speak Spanish to their children. Now, as a third-generation American, I feel as if I have finally cut loose."
"There is always an unspoken problem about casting Latina actresses. I have heard Jennifer Lopez talk about how it was for her, always being up for the role of the Latina chick."

On learning Spanish: 'I have a great accent because I grew up hearing it in the neighbourhood. But I have no idea what I'm saying.'
On growing up in L.A.: 'I never really belonged anywhere. I wasn't white. I was shunned by the Latin community for not being Latin enough. My grandfather was the only one in our family to go to college. He made a choice not to speak Spanish in the house. He didn't want his kids to be different.'
"My whole life, when I was growing up, not one race has ever accepted me. So I never felt connected or attached to any race specifically. I did grow up in a Mexican-American culture, but my mom [who's of French and Danish heritage] was there the whole time. I mean, I had a very American upbringing, I feel American, and I don't speak Spanish. So, to say that I'm a Latin actress, OK, but it's not fitting; it would be insincere. If you're going to look genetically, I'm actually less Latin than Cameron Diaz, whose father is from Cuba. But she's not getting called a Latin actress because she's got blond hair and blue eyes."

Black Mamba.
Mar 21st, 2006, 03:45 PM
"Cut loose" may have been a poor choice of words.

Here are my Alba-isms on her heritage:

"My father is Mexican and very dark; my mother is very fair. I used to always get [script] breakdowns for things like Maria, the janitor's daughter who hangs around with white kids. I was born in the United States. I never thought about it until the industry made me think about being a Latin girl. It seemed like such a bizarre thing." (commenting on racial stereotyping).
"My grandfather was the only Mexican at his college, the only Hispanic person at work and the only one at the all-white country club. He tried to forget his Mexican roots, because he never wanted his kids to be made to feel different in America. He and my grandmother didn't speak Spanish to their children. Now, as a third-generation American, I feel as if I have finally cut loose."
"There is always an unspoken problem about casting Latina actresses. I have heard Jennifer Lopez talk about how it was for her, always being up for the role of the Latina chick."

On learning Spanish: 'I have a great accent because I grew up hearing it in the neighbourhood. But I have no idea what I'm saying.'
On growing up in L.A.: 'I never really belonged anywhere. I wasn't white. I was shunned by the Latin community for not being Latin enough. My grandfather was the only one in our family to go to college. He made a choice not to speak Spanish in the house. He didn't want his kids to be different.'
"My whole life, when I was growing up, not one race has ever accepted me. So I never felt connected or attached to any race specifically. I did grow up in a Mexican-American culture, but my mom [who's of French and Danish heritage] was there the whole time. I mean, I had a very American upbringing, I feel American, and I don't speak Spanish. So, to say that I'm a Latin actress, OK, but it's not fitting; it would be insincere. If you're going to look genetically, I'm actually less Latin than Cameron Diaz, whose father is from Cuba. But she's not getting called a Latin actress because she's got blond hair and blue eyes."

This gives me a clearer picture.

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 04:26 PM
Love, i can see why Jessica might not identify too much with her Latina/Mexican heritage (it wouldn't be a surprise if her father tried to distance himself and his children from it)- i do agree with her that language is a big part of culture and to her defense, i can see how she could become iritated by people in the media, industry trying to put her into that little 'latina' box...

I can see her rationale, too. What will bother me, though, in the future is if Jessica decides to be Latina when it’s convenient and/or advantageous to do so. If being Hispanic and/or playing Latina roles isn’t that important to her, then Jessica should just steer clear of auditioning for those parts. Daphne Zuniga did it so can Jessica.

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 04:38 PM
Salma doesn't try to 'cut loose' from her mexican roots.
in fact, she embraces that she is a successful mexican in hollywood.

I'd be interested to see if she's just as public with her romances (Edward Norton, Josh Lucas) when and if she dates a non-white guy. I'm not saying that she wouldn't be attracted to a male of color. I'm just curious that knowing how ambitious she is, if she would be just as visible at industry functions with a minority boyfriend.

Rocketta
Mar 21st, 2006, 04:45 PM
hmm, you wouldn't know Carmen Diaz was half latina if it wasn't for her name cause she sure doesn't talk about it.

Just like all those actors and actresses that are half asian....they never take asian parts and hardly ever talk about being half asian....ie,Jennifer an Meg Tilley or Keanu Reaves....:shrug: However, no one gets on them for not considering themselves Asian Americans??? :confused:

Rocketta
Mar 21st, 2006, 04:46 PM
I'd be interested to see if she's just as public with her romances (Edward Norton, Josh Lucas) when and if she dates a non-white guy. I'm not saying that she wouldn't be attracted to a male of color. I'm just curious that knowing how ambitious she is, if she would be just as visible at industry functions with a minority boyfriend.

Didn't she date Quincy Jones? :scared:

Rocketta
Mar 21st, 2006, 04:47 PM
I'd be interested to see if she's just as public with her romances (Edward Norton, Josh Lucas) when and if she dates a non-white guy. I'm not saying that she wouldn't be attracted to a male of color. I'm just curious that knowing how ambitious she is, if she would be just as visible at industry functions with a minority boyfriend.

Rob Estes also hasn't exactly gone after hispanic parts either.

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 04:54 PM
This line of thinking is prevalent in the Asian culture as well. They see a marriage to a White man or woman as a move 'upward', hence the high number of Asian/White relationships and marriages. :)

True and other minorities are just as guilty but that’s already been more or less established on this thread.

Question:

We know the upgrade that the person of color is (supposedly) getting by dating/marrying whites but how exactly does a white person benefit from dating/marrying a minority? Also, what in your opinion influences white people to date interracially? Or do you think that for them (in general) dating outside of their race is an arbitrary thing?

Black Mamba.
Mar 21st, 2006, 04:56 PM
I can see her rationale, too. What will bother me, though, in the future is if Jessica decides to be Latina when it’s convenient and/or advantageous to do so. If being Hispanic and/or playing Latina roles isn’t that important to her, then Jessica should just steer clear of auditioning for those parts. Daphne Zuniga did it so can Jessica.


That's what I'm concerned about as well. I think it would be really messed up on her part if she does try to use her heritage to her advantage while at the same time denying it when it becomes a problem.

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 04:59 PM
I can't speak for everyone, but I feel it is some what common in the Black community ie.. Lighter than a brown paper bag.

It is just as common for black people to "hallucinate" about their shade. I'm sure we've all known a black person or two who've claimed to be "high yellow"-- and you did a double take!! I never say anything to them but in my mind I'm picturing the river Nile.

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:02 PM
not picking on you, but why do you always say German as opposed to White?
i just thought it would be black/white or African American/German.
again....there's probably a reason...just want to know what it is :)

You should just say what YOU think the reason is because it sounds like you already have a theory.

Black Mamba.
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:13 PM
True and other minorities are just as guilty but that’s already been more or less established on this thread.

Question:

We know the upgrade that the person of color is (supposedly) getting by dating/marrying whites but how exactly does a white person benefit from dating/marrying a minority? Also, what in your opinion influences white people to date interracially? Or do you think that for them (in general) dating outside of their race is an arbitrary thing?


This is a really good question that I wish would be discussed more. I think it depends on whom the white person is marrying or dating when it comes to the benefits. In general Asians are consideredthe "model minority", which is racist in itself, but I think the stereotype that Asians are really smart, exotic, quiet, etc tend to be seen as benefits. However, when it comes to a white person dating/marrying a Black person I don't see any benefits from a white perspective.

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:15 PM
that is absolutely true.
while we always try to defer stereotypes from our own race, we tend to think that other stereotypes apply to other groups of people. i tend to think it has to do with each race trying to see the best in themselves while continuing to down other groups of people for the advancement of their own group. it seems to be all about jockeying for position in a white dominated culture. media (which is controlled by whites) continuously puts out these negative stereotypes and we naively accept them for other groups while turning a blind eye to our own. it’s a cycle that does nothing to advance any of us….only whites.:shrug:

That's one of my biggest pet peeves with a large section of the black community.

On one hand, we get mad if the image of us portrayed in the media is "ghetto".

On the other hand, we still kick up a fuss if the image of us portrayed in the media is "white-washed".

So...because we often believe the media's image of us, we (and other people of color) don't give ourselves the same amount of leeway that white people give to each other.

G1Player2
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:17 PM
It is just as common for black people to "hallucinate" about their shade. I'm sure we've all known a black person or two who've claimed to be "high yellow"-- and you did a double take!! I never say anything to them but in my mind I'm picturing the river Nile.

:lol: You ain't never lied. I think this is a common occurence. Someone saying they're light-skinned when they're not because in their mind they feel lighter is better. Why they do this, I don't know.

ampers&
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:17 PM
True and other minorities are just as guilty but that’s already been more or less established on this thread.

Question:

We know the upgrade that the person of color is (supposedly) getting by dating/marrying whites but how exactly does a white person benefit from dating/marrying a minority? Also, what in your opinion influences white people to date interracially? Or do you think that for them (in general) dating outside of their race is an arbitrary thing?
When I think about interracial relationships (black and white most often) I think about the fact that the white person really doesn't seem to benefit from dating a black person at all. She (I'm thinking about the black male/white female relationship because it's more common) gets shunned by both blacks and whites it seems. Blacks (most often black females) don't appreciate the white female "stealing" the black male away from the community. And the white females’ family, more often than not, secretly or overtly disapproves of the relationship (and yes, I know the same can apply to the male in the relationship, but we all know that a black man "getting" a white woman is more of an "upgrade" than a white woman dating a black male). And to me, when I think about a white female dating a black male, I tend to think that the white female is acting out against her family in a way. Yes, it could be true love, but that’s what I think more often than not. And that’s just me being real. It could be me stereotyping, but that's what I honestly think about most interracial relationships involving a white female and a black male.

One thing too that may be completely unrelated, but I often think black males enjoy the "power" they have over the white female. They're easier to control and aren't nearly as dependent or outspoken as the black female.
Black men seem to like that sense of domination over a female and I think that's why more and more black males are flocking to white women.
lol...I know that was unrelated, but that's been on my mind for quite a while.

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:21 PM
and i doubt Tyra or Iman would have faired as well in the modeling world with kinky hair. but i bet they still would have done better than darker skinned girls with a European-ized look.
complexion has (and will continue) to play a greater role i think.

Consciously or unconciously, complexion is still a factor even as hip hop takes over as the pre-eminent American music of choice. If it was a non-issue, you'd see more famous minority women with black hair and some of them may even wear it natural.

hablo
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:28 PM
hmm, you wouldn't know Carmen Diaz was half latina if it wasn't for her name cause she sure doesn't talk about it.

Just like all those actors and actresses that are half asian....they never take asian parts and hardly ever talk about being half asian....ie,Jennifer an Meg Tilley or Keanu Reaves....:shrug: However, no one gets on them for not considering themselves Asian Americans??? :confused:
I thought he was just Canadian... didn't know about any Asian roots :lol::o

Black Mamba.
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:28 PM
When I think about interracial relationships (black and white most often) I think about the fact that the white person really doesn't seem to benefit from dating a black person at all. She (I'm thinking about the black male/white female relationship because it's more common) gets shunned by both blacks and whites it seems. Blacks (most often black females) don't appreciate the white female "stealing" the black male away from the community. And the white females’ family, more often than not, secretly or overtly disapproves of the relationship (and yes, I know the same can apply to the male in the relationship, but we all know that a black man "getting" a white woman is more of an "upgrade" than a white woman dating a black male). And to me, when I think about a white female dating a black male, I tend to think that the white female is acting out against her family in a way. Yes, it could be true love, but that’s what I think more often than not. And that’s just me being real. It could be me stereotyping, but that's what I honestly think about most interracial relationships involving a white female and a black male.

One thing too that may be completely unrelated, but I often think black males enjoy the "power" they have over the white female. They're easier to control and aren't nearly as dependent or outspoken as the black female.
Black men seem to like that sense of domination over a female and I think that's why more and more black males are flocking to white women.
lol...I know that was unrelated, but that's been on my mind for quite a while.


I agree with you and as a Black male I know some of my brothas are dating white women because they too often fall into the belief that all Black women are rude, loud, etc, etc. I think that some Black males see White women as an upgrade, but on that same token those same Black males don't want to be viewed as "sellouts" by the community. So many of my boys that date white girls say the following, "White girls are easier to talk to but I could never bring her around the fam".

Rocketta
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:30 PM
anyone see that Oprah show where Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker were on promoting the movie Something New? They talked about black/white couples but from the black female/white male perspective. I have to admit when that white guy said black women can kiss....I nearly fell off the couch. :rolls:

My sister and I was just discussing how different it feels to kiss someone with thin lips as compared to full lips so when that guy was like all ga ga over his wife's lips and kissing technique we just fell out. :lol:

Rocketta
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:31 PM
I thought he was just Canadian... didn't know about any Asian roots :lol::o

his mother's like hawiian but like asian hawiian..I think. :scratch:

hablo
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:34 PM
That's one of my biggest pet peeves with a large section of the black community.

On one hand, we get mad if the image of us portrayed in the media is "ghetto".

On the other hand, we still kick up a fuss if the image of us portrayed in the media is "white-washed".
So...because we often believe the media's image of us, we (and other people of color) don't give ourselves the same amount of leeway that white people give to each other.
I've been called white-washed cause I'm not into hip hop in Canada (by this mixed guy himself :rolleyes: ) and I'm still bitter about that ! :fiery::haha:

sorry I like other kinds of music : zouk, reggae, merengue, etc. ; and yes, I like trance, dance, eurodance, etc... VERY MUCH !! :p

G1Player2
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:36 PM
I've been called white-washed cause I'm not into hip hop in Canada (by this mixed guy himself :rolleyes: ) and I'm still bitter about that ! :fiery::haha:

sorry I like other kinds of music : zouk, reggae, merengue, etc. ; and yes, I like trance, dance, eurodance, etc... VERY MUCH !! :p

You're black? Now, that is DEFINITELY one of the top mis-conceptions about being black. Because hip-hop, R and B, is SO big a part of black culture, if you don't embrace it, then you may be deemed as "white-washed."

Rocketta
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:36 PM
his mother's like hawiian but like asian hawiian..I think. :scratch:

actually it's his dad...his dad is hawiian chinese.

G1Player2
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:37 PM
I agree with you and as a Black male I know some of my brothas are dating white women because they too often fall into the belief that all Black women are rude, loud, etc, etc. I think that some Black males see White women as an upgrade, but on that same token those same Black males don't want to be viewed as "sellouts" by the community. So many of my boys that date white girls say the following, "White girls are easier to talk to but I could never bring her around the fam".

dont forget that white girls are much more experimental in the bedroom. :devil:

hablo
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:38 PM
his mother's like hawiian but like asian hawiian..I think. :scratch:
I think it's a bit difficult to claim his asian heritage in that case, no ? Just how much asian in him does he have ?
(And he probably just speaks english :tape: ok now I sound like Jessica Alba :lol: )
I'm assuming there is great mixture in Hawaii (I have no idea, just asking) ;)

edit : ok I just noticed that you edited your post :fiery::lol:
sometimes it depends on how the parents keep up the heritage :shrug:
and also how the media views the actor ; so if the director doesn't see Asian traits, Keanu won't get the role..... :shrug:

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:39 PM
haha, i thought the exact same thing. although we're all co-posting peacefully and learning stuff.

and about the tall, light-skinned thing...i'm not sure if that's the case, but i recently got hired as a summer analyst for goldman sachs as an internship this summer. but i was definitely qualified (3.8 GPA, i intern at school, work, volunteer, etc...) but i wonder if it's a possibility they picked me over another person cuz of my "look." hope not. how can you quantify that anyway?

Depends on the company. Goldman Sachs may or may not have quotas. You could've fulfilled both: top notch GPA and a minority.

Black Mamba.
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:40 PM
I've never understood the upgrade mindset of Black males that date/marry white women because at the end of the day her whiteness won't cover the fact that you're Black.

ampers&
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:41 PM
I agree with you and as a Black male I know some of my brothas are dating white women because they too often fall into the belief that all Black women are rude, loud, etc, etc. I think that some Black males see White women as an upgrade, but on that same token those same Black males don't want to be viewed as "sellouts" by the community. So many of my boys that date white girls say the following, "White girls are easier to talk to but I could never bring her around the fam".
lol...i've heard the ""White girls are easier to talk to.." and "White girls are more understanding..." shit too many times to count. i think it has more to do with the fact that white women are more likely to defer to their male partners to make desicions. and, once again, they're easier to control. i've also heard many black males say "She doesn't appreciate me..." which always confuses me. How exactly can she show her appreciation more than she already does? And how does a white female show her appreciation?:shrug:
I've been called white-washed cause I'm not into hip hop in Canada (by this mixed guy himself :rolleyes: ) and I'm still bitter about that ! :fiery::haha:

sorry I like other kinds of music : zouk, reggae, merengue, etc. ; and yes, I like trance, dance, eurodance, etc... VERY MUCH !! :p
lol....most of todays hip hop is a bunch of shit anyway so don't let it bother you.:p

hablo
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:43 PM
You're black? Now, that is DEFINITELY one of the top mis-conceptions about being black. Because hip-hop, R and B, is SO big a part of black culture, if you don't embrace it, then you may be deemed as "white-washed."
yes, I'm mixed :p

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:45 PM
hmm, you wouldn't know Carmen Diaz was half latina if it wasn't for her name cause she sure doesn't talk about it.

Just like all those actors and actresses that are half asian....they never take asian parts and hardly ever talk about being half asian....ie,Jennifer an Meg Tilley or Keanu Reaves....:shrug: However, no one gets on them for not considering themselves Asian Americans??? :confused:

All of what you say is true. It is easier, though, for the Tilly sisters and Keanu to hide their Asian background than it is for Jessica to mask her Latina-ness. If the Tilly sisters looked more like Ann Curry, a fellow biracial, then they may have had more problems getting cast.

SelesFan70
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:48 PM
I agree with you and as a Black male I know some of my brothas are dating white women because they too often fall into the belief that all Black women are rude, loud, etc, etc. I think that some Black males see White women as an upgrade, but on that same token those same Black males don't want to be viewed as "sellouts" by the community. So many of my boys that date white girls say the following, "White girls are easier to talk to but I could never bring her around the fam".

I've dated black males that have told me they can't bring me around their friends because I'm a white male. :smash: So I told them when they start living for themselves to get back to me. :angel:

hablo
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:49 PM
lol...i've heard the ""White girls are easier to talk to.." and "White girls are more understanding..." shit too many times to count. i think it has more to do with the fact that white women are more likely to defer to their male partners to make desicions. and, once again, they're easier to control. i've also heard many black males say "She doesn't appreciate me..." which always confuses me. How exactly can she show her appreciation more than she already does? And how does a white female show her appreciation?:shrug:


That must be a stereotype of white cause all the ones I know are not so submissive :lol:

My bro has dated both kinds : whites in Canada, blacks in U.S.A... According to him, he dates whoever is in proximity... it's all cause of geographical circumstances... but he's tastes in what he likes physically in girls has changed... before he like skinny girls and now he likes girls "with meat on their bones" : his words not mine :lol:

I've never heard him complain about saying "she doesn't appreciate me" about black girls, etc :p

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:50 PM
Rob Estes also hasn't exactly gone after hispanic parts either.

I didn't realize he was Hispanic...or are you thinking that the name Estes sounds Latino?

Never heard of Salma dating Quincy Jones but if that's true, then Salma was quite a stretch for the blonde-loving music producer.

G1Player2
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:52 PM
http://www.misterpoll.com/3379587113.html

pancake
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:53 PM
I wonder how non-asian consider if an asian is handsome/beautiful or not? Is it same standard with asian or is there any differene?

decemberlove
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:54 PM
hmm, you wouldn't know Carmen Diaz was half latina if it wasn't for her name cause she sure doesn't talk about it.

Just like all those actors and actresses that are half asian....they never take asian parts and hardly ever talk about being half asian....ie,Jennifer an Meg Tilley or Keanu Reaves....:shrug: However, no one gets on them for not considering themselves Asian Americans??? :confused:

There was a time when Cameron was talking about it a lot. It was around the time JLo became really hot - and she was doing the whole "Latina" thing.

I don't really pay attention to Cameron anymore, but I do remember her talking about her Cuban father in a few of her interviews during that time. :tape:

Joan Rivers
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:55 PM
What's the big deal? Edgar didn't tell his mother I was Jewish. Hell, he didn't even tell her we were married for the first 8 years!

ampers&
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:55 PM
That must be a stereotype of white cause all the ones I know are so submissive :lol:
lol...it's not a stereotype, it's a proven fact. ;)
white males and females are generally more submissive than their black counterparts.

G1Player2
Mar 21st, 2006, 05:55 PM
BTW, Eva Longoria is way too old for him...

hablo
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:01 PM
lol...it's not a stereotype, it's a proven fact. ;)
white males and females are generally more submissive than their black counterparts.
I'd be interested to see this study :p
Where was it done ?
I mean do they study whites and blacks from just U.S. ? :p

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:08 PM
When I think about interracial relationships (black and white most often) I think about the fact that the white person really doesn't seem to benefit from dating a black person at all. She (I'm thinking about the black male/white female relationship because it's more common) gets shunned by both blacks and whites it seems. Blacks (most often black females) don't appreciate the white female "stealing" the black male away from the community. And the white females’ family, more often than not, secretly or overtly disapproves of the relationship (and yes, I know the same can apply to the male in the relationship, but we all know that a black man "getting" a white woman is more of an "upgrade" than a white woman dating a black male). And to me, when I think about a white female dating a black male, I tend to think that the white female is acting out against her family in a way. Yes, it could be true love, but that’s what I think more often than not. And that’s just me being real. It could be me stereotyping, but that's what I honestly think about most interracial relationships involving a white female and a black male.

One thing too that may be completely unrelated, but I often think black males enjoy the "power" they have over the white female. They're easier to control and aren't nearly as dependent or outspoken as the black female.
Black men seem to like that sense of domination over a female and I think that's why more and more black males are flocking to white women.
lol...I know that was unrelated, but that's been on my mind for quite a while.

I agree with everything you said here.

I think that your post indirectly illustrates my feelings about white male/black female romantic relationships. While the “brutha” is enjoying his trophy girlfriend that he definitely enjoys dominating, a “sistuh” dating a white guy is a completely different realm.

While I’ve never dated interracially myself, I have a few black female friends that have and what was most refreshing to learn was that there was no power struggle in their relationships. I’m not saying that the white guys treated them better or worse. My point is that these black didn’t lose themselves, they retained their blackness and, in general, they kept things balanced—something I don’t see in black male/white female relationships.

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:10 PM
I've been called white-washed cause I'm not into hip hop in Canada (by this mixed guy himself :rolleyes: ) and I'm still bitter about that ! :fiery::haha:

sorry I like other kinds of music : zouk, reggae, merengue, etc. ; and yes, I like trance, dance, eurodance, etc... VERY MUCH !! :p

Why apologize? It's when you have to say/imply that you're unique that you lose all uniqueness.

ampers&
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:11 PM
I'd be interested to see this study :p
Where was it done ?
I mean do they study whites and blacks from just U.S. ? :p
lol...have you ever taken Gender and Communication classes or Sociology classes?
i taken tons of them.
and we've devoted much time on the differences between the behaviors of men and women of different race and ethnicities.
i have textbooks and reading packets with tons of info, but i don't feel like scanning it and stuff like that.
but you're more than welcome to look it up.
check out JSTOR, Lexis-Nexis, or some other sites where you're able to read the studies.

decemberlove
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:11 PM
lol...it's not a stereotype, it's a proven fact. ;)
white males and females are generally more submissive than their black counterparts.



At first, I agree with you. But then I think of all of those crazy, obnoxious white people I've known and ... :scared:

Minus Italians from and whites from the city - maybe.

hablo
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:15 PM
Why apologize? It's when you have to say/imply that you're unique that you lose all uniqueness.
must be a canadian thing... we say sorry for everything :haha:;)

I don't know how to explain, but we say it alot up here...


maybe some other Canucks can confirm or infirm this :devil:

RVD
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:17 PM
True and other minorities are just as guilty but that’s already been more or less established on this thread.

Question:

We know the upgrade that the person of color is (supposedly) getting by dating/marrying whites but how exactly does a white person benefit from dating/marrying a minority?I'm not sure that they do benefit professionally, it that's what the question is. But if I follow the trend and what it suggests, then I'd have to say that the richer the minority, the more of a chance you'll see this type of relationship. And again, the reasons are many why this is so. A few include:
* The higher you achieve the fewer of your own people you see. It then follows that the opportunity for an interracial relationship increases dramatically.
* Professional commonalities unusually act as a catalyst for a relationship.
* Sometimes, all you need is for someone to admire your work or your achievements (in your profession), and who you relate to at that point. Relationships are 'time' sensitive. In other words, timing is everything.

There are a host of other possible reasons, but these rank the highest on my personal list.

Also, what in your opinion influences white people to date interracially?Tough question. I don't know. I'm Black soooo... :shrug: ;)
However, if I had to venture a guess:

* Financial Security - would be my #1 guess, as this would apply to any relationship.
* Love - At least, I would hope.
* Have no idea what the others might be. :lol:

Or do you think that for them (in general) dating outside of their race is an arbitrary thing?Again, I have no idea. Maybe some kind White man or woman involved in an interracial relationship can answer this far better than I.
However, if the question was specifically about Mexican and Black relationships, I could definitely answer that. :cool:

hablo
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:17 PM
lol...have you ever taken Gender and Communication classes or Sociology classes?
i taken tons of them.
and we've devoted much time on the differences between the behaviors of men and women of different race and ethnicities.
i have textbooks and reading packets with tons of info, but i don't feel like scanning it and stuff like that.
but you're more than welcome to look it up.
check out JSTOR, Lexis-Nexis, or some other sites where you're able to read the studies.
I didn't take any sociology classes in university, I have to admit... :lol:
not that I recall anyhow... I'll take your word for it, for now :p

Rocketta
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:18 PM
I don't think White girls are more easy, passive who are easy to talk to and let their men do whatever he wants....I think black guys who say those things are full of shit because we all know that black women people are about as diverse as you can get in appearance and personality. There are loud, proud, aggressive black women as well as meek, mouse-like black women. In other words black men date white women because they want to....beginning and end of their real reason. :tape:

SJW
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:20 PM
You should just say what YOU think the reason is because it sounds like you already have a theory.

lol, you are trying to start with the wrong damn person :lol:

RVD
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:22 PM
"Cut loose" may have been a poor choice of words.

Here are my Alba-isms on her heritage:

"My father is Mexican and very dark; my mother is very fair. I used to always get [script] breakdowns for things like Maria, the janitor's daughter who hangs around with white kids. I was born in the United States. I never thought about it until the industry made me think about being a Latin girl. It seemed like such a bizarre thing." (commenting on racial stereotyping).
"My grandfather was the only Mexican at his college, the only Hispanic person at work and the only one at the all-white country club. He tried to forget his Mexican roots, because he never wanted his kids to be made to feel different in America. He and my grandmother didn't speak Spanish to their children. Now, as a third-generation American, I feel as if I have finally cut loose."
"There is always an unspoken problem about casting Latina actresses. I have heard Jennifer Lopez talk about how it was for her, always being up for the role of the Latina chick."

On learning Spanish: 'I have a great accent because I grew up hearing it in the neighbourhood. But I have no idea what I'm saying.'
On growing up in L.A.: 'I never really belonged anywhere. I wasn't white. I was shunned by the Latin community for not being Latin enough. My grandfather was the only one in our family to go to college. He made a choice not to speak Spanish in the house. He didn't want his kids to be different.'
"My whole life, when I was growing up, not one race has ever accepted me. So I never felt connected or attached to any race specifically. I did grow up in a Mexican-American culture, but my mom [who's of French and Danish heritage] was there the whole time. I mean, I had a very American upbringing, I feel American, and I don't speak Spanish. So, to say that I'm a Latin actress, OK, but it's not fitting; it would be insincere. If you're going to look genetically, I'm actually less Latin than Cameron Diaz, whose father is from Cuba. But she's not getting called a Latin actress because she's got blond hair and blue eyes."You know, quite honestly, I can see where Jessica Alba is coming from. I don't necessarily agree with one or two of her points, but overall she definitely has a point. I've heard many of these from my wife and her family.

meyerpl
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:23 PM
One thing too that may be completely unrelated, but I often think black males enjoy the "power" they have over the white female. They're easier to control and aren't nearly as dependent or outspoken as the black female.
Black men seem to like that sense of domination over a female and I think that's why more and more black males are flocking to white women.


Wow. Apparently, you've never met my wife. Or my sister, or my mother, or my grandmother. This would actually piss me off if it wasn't so stupid.

hablo
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:25 PM
Also, what in your opinion influences white people to date interracially?
Simply put, they fall in love ? :shrug:
could it not be a possibility... there has been interracial mixtures since the beginning of time, no ? :p



Or do you think that for them (in general) dating outside of their race is an arbitrary thing?
sometimes you date whoever is around...
quite a few white men marry black women in Africa... geographical circumstances :shrug:

SJW
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:25 PM
Wow. Apparently, you've never met my wife. Or my sister, or my mother, or my grandmother. This would actually piss me off if it wasn't so stupid.

i think that's why it's "in general" and not "meyerpl's family". :wavey:

ampers&
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:29 PM
Wow. Apparently, you've never met my wife. Or my sister, or my mother, or my grandmother. This would actually piss me off if it wasn't so stupid.
lol.....if that's all you have to say about it, you shouldn't have said anything at all. :rolleyes:
and because the women in YOUR family behave that way, it has nothing to do with my comparison of black women vs. white women as a whole.
it's not stupid...black women ARE generally more outspoken than white women.
oh, and the dependency and "domination" thing...it's from my experience.
from what i've seen in these types of relationships.
don't be pissed or irritated...just accept it. :)

SJW
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:30 PM
i fail to see how anybody can say white women as a whole are more outspoken than black women.
that is hilarious to me. :lol:

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:32 PM
Wow. Apparently, you've never met my wife. Or my sister, or my mother, or my grandmother. This would actually piss me off if it wasn't so stupid.

Your female relatives may not be like this but this was Miching~Mallecho’s experience. It reflects mine, too. Perhaps it’s the specific black males that we're seeing out in public with their trophy white girls but for me, 9 times out 10, the white girl plays that submissive role. They never seem self-assured. They exude neediness and actually seem to enjoy playing the damsel-in-distress to these “bruthas”. A bit nauseating, if you ask me.

Black Mamba.
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:33 PM
I don't think White girls are more easy, passive who are easy to talk to and let their men do whatever he wants....I think black guys who say those things are full of shit because we all know that black women people are about as diverse as you can get in appearance and personality. There are loud, proud, aggressive black women as well as meek, mouse-like black women. In other words black men date white women because they want to....beginning and end of their real reason. :tape:


Now we're getting somewhere, I've only dated Black girls and all the ones I've dated have been really nice, intelligent, easy to talk to, understanding, ambitous, etc. Essentially they were everything that the stereotypical Black woman isn't. I'm a firm believer that people of the same race are totally different and groups of people shouldn't be stereotyped. I feel like too often those Black folks that do choose to date or marry white folks feel the need to bash other black folks to justify why they did what they did.

No Name Face
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:35 PM
That's one of my biggest pet peeves with a large section of the black community.

On one hand, we get mad if the image of us portrayed in the media is "ghetto".

On the other hand, we still kick up a fuss if the image of us portrayed in the media is "white-washed".

So...because we often believe the media's image of us, we (and other people of color) don't give ourselves the same amount of leeway that white people give to each other.

this is a prime example of the pot calling the kettle black.

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:36 PM
lol, you are trying to start with the wrong damn person :lol:

I sensed something subliminal in the way you phrased your post to him. Personally, I think he likes the sound of German. I don't think he'd be as enthusiastic if his white half was Estonian.

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:38 PM
this is a prime example of the pot calling the kettle black.

How so? Are we about to go for our weekly spin? I don't know if I have the energy today.

No Name Face
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:38 PM
Your female relatives may not be like this but this was Miching~Mallecho’s experience. It reflects mine, too. Perhaps it’s the specific black males that we're seeing out in public with their trophy white girls but for me, 9 times out 10, the white girl plays that submissive role. They never seem self-assured. They exude neediness and actually seem to enjoy playing the damsel-in-distress to these “bruthas”. A bit nauseating, if you ask me.

okay...so now it's okay to generalize white women but it wasn't okay for me to generalize black women, which was unintentional on my part?

pot meet kettle. kettle meet pot.

No Name Face
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:40 PM
How so? Are we about to go for our weekly spin? I don't know if I have the energy today.

we don't need to. what i said was pretty obvious...and true, given your past posts on the very topic that supposedly annoys you.

RVD
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:40 PM
When I think about interracial relationships (black and white most often) I think about the fact that the white person really doesn't seem to benefit from dating a black person at all. She (I'm thinking about the black male/white female relationship because it's more common) gets shunned by both blacks and whites it seems. Blacks (most often black females) don't appreciate the white female "stealing" the black male away from the community. And the white females’ family, more often than not, secretly or overtly disapproves of the relationship (and yes, I know the same can apply to the male in the relationship, but we all know that a black man "getting" a white woman is more of an "upgrade" than a white woman dating a black male). And to me, when I think about a white female dating a black male, I tend to think that the white female is acting out against her family in a way. Yes, it could be true love, but that’s what I think more often than not. And that’s just me being real. It could be me stereotyping, but that's what I honestly think about most interracial relationships involving a white female and a black male.

One thing too that may be completely unrelated, but I often think black males enjoy the "power" they have over the white female. They're easier to control and aren't nearly as dependent or outspoken as the black female.
Black men seem to like that sense of domination over a female and I think that's why more and more black males are flocking to white women.
lol...I know that was unrelated, but that's been on my mind for quite a while.I admire your honesty and candor in this post. :lol:
That said though...

I would have to say that any relationship, IMO, begins with an 'attraction' of some sort. I can't bring myself to believe that a majority, or most of these interracial relationships are based on superficial reasons. Some yes, but who really knows the answer to how many? :shrug:
But also, wouldn't you think that 'power' relationships takes place in an all Black relationship as well?
I'd imagine that it happens in all Whites, all Asian, and all Mexican relationships also.

I see a LOT of White/Back relationships where I live, and each time I pass them, I feel that I can relate to the 'love' that they might have for each other. I mean when you think about it, who in their right mind would entertain a relationship that will certainly bring about animosity from all ethnic(ities) out there? :confused:
My wife and I catch much hell from Asians the most because they maintain the 'pure-race' belief more than any other. Then comes the Black, Mexican, and White negative reactions. And really, it's only our love for each other, and our kids, that maintains us. I was never bothered by the negative reactions, but my wife was. Now though, she just lets it go and marks it up as ignorance. Meaning, they don't know of the deep love we have for each other. :hearts: :hearts:

Rocketta
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:41 PM
Now we're getting somewhere, I've only dated Black girls and all the ones I've dated have been really nice, intelligent, easy to talk to, understanding, ambitous, etc. Essentially they were everything that the stereotypical Black woman isn't. I'm a firm believer that people of the same race are totally different and groups of people shouldn't be stereotyped. I feel like too often those Black folks that do choose to date or marry white folks feel the need to bash other black folks to justify why they did what they did.

Yeah I know, what's pissed me off the most is when I hear like a black athlete say he dates white women because he has to go to this upper crusty parties and he wants someone to fit in? :fiery: :bs:

We all know bougie black people who have their nose so far up in the air they suffocate from the nose bleed. It's compete shit!

They can't admit that they are chosing this segment of the population because they just basically want to and it has nothing to do with black women or a personility preference. :rolleyes:

hablo
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:41 PM
I sensed something subliminal in the way you phrased your post to him. Personally, I think he likes the sound of German. I don't think he'd be as enthusiastic if his white half was Estonian.
how do you know ? :shrug:
I'm proud of my Polish heritage, for instance :p
I don't know what's the big deal with him saying German :scratch:

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:41 PM
okay...so now it's okay to generalize white women but it wasn't okay for me to generalize black women, which was unintentional on my part?

pot meet kettle. kettle meet pot.

I didn't say it was okay to generalize. We're human and generalizing is what we often do even when we try our best to do the right thing.

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:45 PM
we don't need to. what i said was pretty obvious...and true, given your past posts on the very topic that supposedly annoys you.

The difference between you and me re: black and white people: I see us as equals; you do not.

Yes, I criticized certain white women but it wasn't a blanket statement.

You on the other hand specialize in backhanded (and often naive) compliments and the slighting of our people.

RVD
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:45 PM
anyone see that Oprah show where Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker were on promoting the movie Something New? They talked about black/white couples but from the black female/white male perspective. I have to admit when that white guy said black women can kiss....I nearly fell off the couch. :rolls:

My sister and I was just discussing how different it feels to kiss someone with thin lips as compared to full lips so when that guy was like all ga ga over his wife's lips and kissing technique we just fell out. :lol::haha: @ you and your sister. My wife loves full lips. :lol: :bounce:

No Name Face
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:46 PM
The difference between you and me re: black and white people: I see us as equals; you do not.

Yes, I criticized certain white women but it wasn't a blanket statement.

You on the other hand specialize in backhanded (and often naive) compliments and the slighting of our people.

i don't think i'm equal to other people?
you've outdone yourself, aquanetta.



:spit:

ampers&
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:47 PM
I admire your honesty and candor in this post. :lol:
That said though...

I would have to say that any relationship, IMO, begins with an 'attraction' of some sort. I can't bring myself to believe that a majority, or most of these interracial relationships are based on superficial reasons. Some yes, but who really knows the answer to how many? :shrug:
But also, wouldn't you think that 'power' relationships takes place in an all Black relationship as well?
I'd imagine that it happens in all Whites, all Asian, and all Mexican relationships also.

I see a LOT of White/Back relationships where I live, and each time I pass them, I feel that I can relate to the 'love' that they might have for each other. I mean when you think about it, who in their right mind would entertain a relationship that will certainly bring about animosity from all ethnic(ities) out there? :confused:
My wife and I catch much hell from Asians the most because they maintain the 'pure-race' belief more than any other. Then comes the Black, Mexican, and White negative reactions. And really, it's only our love for each other, and our kids, that maintains us. I was never bothered by the negative reactions, but my wife was. Now though, she just lets it go and marks it up as ignorance. Meaning, they don't know of the deep love we have for each other. :hearts: :hearts:
you're right.
i won't pretend that i know about all black male/white female relationships because i don't. like i said, it's just from what i've witnessed from many interracial relationships like that at home, here at school, and in general.
and you're also right about there having to be some sort of attraction.
this is true.
i was just wanted to say what was on my mind. not saying i was right or anything.
just speaking from personal experience and how it's constructed my view on those relationships as a whole.
i wanted to see if anyone else ever thought about it that way.
i myself even admitted that i could be stereotyping and making generalizations. :o
i just wanted others opinions, that's all. :)

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:47 PM
how do you know ? :shrug:
I'm proud of my Polish heritage, for instance :p
I don't know what's the big deal with him saying German :scratch:

We can't see each other so words say everything. Don't worry, though; he'll be here to explain his Germanic obsession.

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:47 PM
i don't think i'm equal to other people?
you've outdone yourself, aquanetta.



:spit:

I see black AND white people as equals. YOU DO NOT and you know it.

Aquanetta
Mar 21st, 2006, 06:58 PM
We all know bougie black people who have their nose so far up in the air they suffocate from the nose bleed. It's compete shit!

The thing about “bougie” black people that I find highly amusing is that they’ve convinced themselves that the less they “act” black the more accepted they are by whites and other non-blacks. Little do they know that in many of those circles, they’re labeled as the “white-acting n*gger”. Sad.

Oh and before it’s misinterpreted, being upwardly mobile or speaking well, for example, is not what I consider to be “bougie” behavior. Thinking that you’re unique for a black person just because you like Albanian cinema is.

Black Mamba.
Mar 21st, 2006, 07:11 PM
The thing about “bougie” black people that I find highly amusing is that they’ve convinced themselves that the less they “act” black the more accepted they are by whites and other non-blacks. Little do they know that in many of those circles, they’re labeled as the “white-acting n*gger”. Sad.

Oh and before it’s misinterpreted, being upwardly mobile or speaking well, for example, is not what I consider to be “bougie” behavior. Thinking that you’re unique for a black person just because you like Albanian cinema is.


:lol: :lol: :lol:

I know Black folks like that who think just because they sky, golf, and listen to Green Day they are a better black person than someone that doesn't do those things.

RVD
Mar 21st, 2006, 07:22 PM
you're right.
i won't pretend that i know about all black male/white female relationships because i don't. like i said, it's just from what i've witnessed from many interracial relationships like that at home, here at school, and in general.
and you're also right about there having to be some sort of attraction.
this is true.
i was just wanted to say what was on my mind. not saying i was right or anything.
just speaking from personal experience and how it's constructed my view on those relationships as a whole.
i wanted to see if anyone else ever thought about it that way.
i myself even admitted that i could be stereotyping and making generalizations. :o
i just wanted others opinions, that's all. :) :wavey: I wasn't trying to give you 'beef' dear-heart. I hope it didn't come off that way.
I enjoyed what you had to say. Besides, many of my friends think and believe the same as you. ;)

meyerpl
Mar 21st, 2006, 07:25 PM
lol.....if that's all you have to say about it, you shouldn't have said anything at all. :rolleyes:
and because the women in YOUR family behave that way, it has nothing to do with my comparison of black women vs. white women as a whole.
it's not stupid...black women ARE generally more outspoken than white women.
oh, and the dependency and "domination" thing...it's from my experience.
from what i've seen in these types of relationships.
don't be pissed or irritated...just accept it. :)
You are correct, I should have said more and I apologize for using the word stupid. So, yeah, it did piss me off. I get pissed off when people stereotype people on the basis of race. It offends me.

People are, by and large, a product of their environment, not the color of their skin. You don't need to inform me that the color of one's skin affects their environment, I know that, but it's just one factor.
That said, there are cultural differences in terms of communication style, etc. and some of those cultural differences in the U.S. are closely associated with race, but I still think it's important to recognize the distinction. I think you can make cultural generalizations but when you get into racial stereotypes, you and I part ways.

As for your satement about "white women" being more submisive than "black women", I strongly disagree. If you said that white women and black women in the U.S. generally have a different style of communication, I'd agree. What may appear on the surface as more domineering dosen't necessarily translate into more power in a relationship though.

Lastly, you made a blanket statement about "white women", then later qualified it by saying it's based upon your personal observations. Then, you narrowed it down even further by saying it was based on your observations of white women in relationships with black men! Do you see the problem with that? That's a pretty unique group of women to base such a broad statement as you made on. Then you say, that's what you've seen, so I should just accept it? How about this: I worked in a maximum security prison for five years and had an opportunity to observe black men. You should "just accept" the impressions and conclusions about black men I developed from that experience? Wrong.

Again, I apologize for my poor choice of words in my earlier post.

RVD
Mar 21st, 2006, 07:29 PM
The thing about “bougie” black people that I find highly amusing is that they’ve convinced themselves that the less they “act” black the more accepted they are by whites and other non-blacks. Little do they know that in many of those circles, they’re labeled as the “white-acting n*gger”. Sad.Sadly, I've made the same observation. In fact, to take this a bit further...
I've been in situations (corporate meetings) where this type of 'brutha' attempted to berate and demean me because I didn't act White enough (being that we both held nice positions). He didn't realize that many on both sides spoke negatively of him.
One side said that he was a good 'boy', and the other side said that he'd lost his 'balckness'. Funny how these folks never realize the fence they are straddling is castrating them. :lol: At least in the case of this fellow. :)

Black Mamba.
Mar 21st, 2006, 07:43 PM
Sadly, I've made the same observation. In fact, to take this a bit further...
I've been in situations (corporate meetings) where this type of 'brutha' attempted to berate and demean me because I didn't act White enough (being that we both held nice positions). He didn't realize that many on both sides spoke negatively of him.
One side said that he was a good 'boy', and the other side said that he'd lost his 'balckness'. Funny how these folks never realize the fence they are straddling is castrating them. :lol: At least in the case of this fellow. :)


I know the exact type you're describing, they think they're playing the system, but the system is really playing and humiliating them behind the scenes.

ampers&
Mar 21st, 2006, 08:03 PM
You are correct, I should have said more and I apologize for using the word stupid. So, yeah, it did piss me off. I get pissed off when people stereotype people on the basis of race. It offends me.
Apology accepted.

People are, by and large, a product of their environment, not the color of their skin. You don't need to inform me that the color of one's skin affects their environment, I know that, but it's just one factor.
I wasn't aware that I ever informed you of that. It seems to me that you're trying to downplay the importance race. Race isn't "just one factor." More often than not, it's the BIGGEST factor.

That said, there are cultural differences in terms of communication style, etc. and some of those cultural differences in the U.S. are closely associated with race, but I still think it's important to recognize the distinction. I think you can make cultural generalizations but when you get into racial stereotypes, you and I part ways.
I recognize the distinction.
I'm fully aware of the definition of stereotype and generalization.
Again, I pointed out that I may have used stereotypes in my description of white females.
But there is some truth in what I said regarding the differences between black and white females. Especially when it came to me pointing out the fact that black women are generally more outspoken than white females.

As for your satement about "white women" being more submisive than "black women", I strongly disagree. If you said that white women and black women in the U.S. generally have a different style of communication, I'd agree. What may appear on the surface as more domineering dosen't necessarily translate into more power in a relationship though.
I answered my reasoning for this statement earlier in the thread.
Read back and you may find it.

Lastly, you made a blanket statement about "white women", then later qualified it by saying it based upon your personal observations. Then, you narrowed it down even further by saying it was based on your observations of white women in relationships with black men! Do you see the problem with that? That's a pretty unique group of women to base such a broad statement as you made on.
I stated right away that my post was going to be based on what I've seen and on what I think about that particular type of relationship. I didn't want to broaden my scope because I know little about interracial relationships outside of the black male/white female relationship. I answered Aquanetta's question by drawing on something I've witnessed and something I feel I have some insight on.

Now, I see what you mean by me narrowing down one observation in a particular instance and making that apply for white women as a whole. But when I made those statements, I wasn't only thinking about the black male/white female relationship. I was also drawing on information I've read and studied on the behavioral differences between sex and race.
I applied those to what I thought the reasoning was behind black males wanting to be with white women.

Then you say, that's what you've seen, so I should just accept it? How about this: I worked in a maximum security prison for five years and had an opportunity to observe black men. You should "just accept" the impressions and conclusions about black I developed from that experience? Wrong.

Yes, you should just accept that my experiences and my opinion on issues are different than yours. I didn't say you should accept that what I said as the RIGHT way of thinking about that issue, I simply meant that you should take it with a grain of salt instead of immediately getting defensive and irritated, which is exactly what you did, right? :)

Cam'ron Giles
Mar 21st, 2006, 08:19 PM
OMG...wendy just read it on the air...:lol: she is really on this board...:haha:

meyerpl
Mar 21st, 2006, 08:28 PM
Yes, you should just accept that my experiences and my opinion on issues are different than yours. I didn't say you should accept that what I said as the RIGHT way of thinking about that issue, I simply meant that you should take it with a grain of salt instead of immediately getting defensive and irritated, which is exactly what you did, right? :)

When you put it this way, it's easy for me to accept.

Yes, I did get irritated. It's a slippery slope when people start making racial generalizations. People draw from their own experiences, which are very narrow in scope, and start painting people with a broad brush. The example I used, working in a prison, is an obvious example of what I'm talking about. Nonetheless, it happens. I know, first hand. People tend to draw conclusions from their own experiences. A prison in a small town populated by white people is going to have a bunch of white men and women working in it learning all about black people, or so they think. So, what I'm suggesting is, don't be too quick to reach conclusions about people based on your experiences. Those conclusions won't be valid.

My jaw tightens when people start talking about how white women, black men, white men, black women, Jews, American Indians, Muslims, etc. etc. act, think and feel.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post and respond.

hablo
Mar 21st, 2006, 08:32 PM
OMG...wendy just read it on the air...:lol: she is really on this board...:haha:
:eek:

RVD
Mar 21st, 2006, 08:50 PM
OMG...wendy just read it on the air...:lol: she is really on this board...:haha:WHAT THE...?
Are you serious?! :haha:
WENDY, YOU SNEAK! :lol: :kiss:

harloo
Mar 21st, 2006, 09:07 PM
Have you heard what Jessica Alba said?

"People love to put that Latina label over me because I guess it's hot and trendy to be Latin these days. But... I don't even speak Spanish. If you are going to represent a culture, you should at least be able to speak the language... As a third generation American, I feel as if I have finally cut loose from my Mexican roots."

:retard:

Hollywood can be fickle and trends of what's in changes from day to day. I do agree that Jlo and Ricky Martin ushered in the "Latino Explosion" but why is that seen as a bad thing? Many latino artists/actresses/actors took advantage of the opportunity during that period and Jessica Alba should be thanking those two for opening up some doors.

Realistically the trend of defining what ethincitiy is hot at the moment will never change in Hollywood. You either work the system or prove that you are very capable of transcending race.

Will Smith is living proof that it can be done.

I would of never of thought Jessica Alba has this type of mentality, but I guess we learn something new everyday.:o

No Name Face
Mar 21st, 2006, 09:13 PM
I see black AND white people as equals. YOU DO NOT and you know it.

:retard:
you're one crazy broad...but always good for a laugh. always good for that at the very least...

you just don't like having your shit called out --- like when kabuki called your bigoted ass out when you were labeling asians...then you have the audacity to make sweeping generalizations about white people. THEN you say you hate it when blacks do the same thing to their own, which is exactly what you do on the boards to me and to others because i don't agree with your parochial views on life and race.

the hypocrisy is so rampant...it's stunning.

generalizations on their own aren't bad things --- most people try to quantify experiences so that they can have a logical heuristic for a particular situation. it's natural, it's human. but when you call other people out for generalizing, and tell them they're WRONG or IGNORANT, you just look retarded when you do it two weeks later. :retard:

harloo
Mar 21st, 2006, 09:14 PM
That's one of my biggest pet peeves with a large section of the black community.

On one hand, we get mad if the image of us portrayed in the media is "ghetto".

On the other hand, we still kick up a fuss if the image of us portrayed in the media is "white-washed".

So...because we often believe the media's image of us, we (and other people of color) don't give ourselves the same amount of leeway that white people give to each other.

I'm trying to figure out what "white-washed" images of us that black folk kick a fuss up about? Care to elaborate on that one? :confused:

Cam'ron Giles
Mar 21st, 2006, 09:22 PM
WHAT THE...?
Are you serious?! :haha:
WENDY, YOU SNEAK! :lol: :kiss:

No...I swear she just read it on the air...the same exact way...it's bugging me out...I swear I read stuff posted by Wendy on this site and that same afternoon she reads it on the air...:scared:

lizchris
Mar 21st, 2006, 09:46 PM
lol...i've heard the ""White girls are easier to talk to.." and "White girls are more understanding..." shit too many times to count. i think it has more to do with the fact that white women are more likely to defer to their male partners to make desicions. and, once again, they're easier to control. i've also heard many black males say "She doesn't appreciate me..." which always confuses me. How exactly can she show her appreciation more than she already does? And how does a white female show her appreciation?:shrug:

lol....most of todays hip hop is a bunch of shit anyway so don't let it bother you.:p


Legs spread, mouth open, if you know what I mean.:o

ampers&
Mar 21st, 2006, 09:52 PM
So, what I'm suggesting is, don't be too quick to reach conclusions about people based on your experiences. Those conclusions won't be valid.
i'll be sure to remember that.

harloo
Mar 21st, 2006, 09:53 PM
I agree with you and as a Black male I know some of my brothas are dating white women because they too often fall into the belief that all Black women are rude, loud, etc, etc. I think that some Black males see White women as an upgrade, but on that same token those same Black males don't want to be viewed as "sellouts" by the community. So many of my boys that date white girls say the following, "White girls are easier to talk to but I could never bring her around the fam".

I will co-sign with you on this one because some of my boys have started exclusively dating white women because of this flawed belief that they are easier to get along with. In some instances the theory has proven to work out in their favor, but for the most part all white women aren't understanding and forgiving.

One of my best friends thought he caught one and she turned out to be one of his worst girlfriends. She was calling his cell phone every hour, talking to people at his job, and she even slashed his tires when he called himself "visiting" his other female friend. He was actually scared of her because she didn't take any of his shit that he was getting away with before. I thought his little venture was hilarious and it proved that some white women can be loud, aggressive, rude and ignorant.

The bottom line is that black women are as diverse as any other race of women. You will find ghetto, ethnic, conservative, aggressive, passive, mean-spirited, postive, negative, or stong types of sista's in everyday life.

From my experience I will say that black women are more confrontational than their white counterparts but other than that their isn't a big difference.:wavey:

RVD
Mar 21st, 2006, 10:06 PM
Legs spread, mouth open, if you know what I mean.:oAhhhh....MMmmmm.... :devil:
I so love the 'universal' language of female appreciation. :haha: :angel:
Come to think of it, my wife needs to show me some appreciation tonight. :lol:

hablo
Mar 21st, 2006, 10:14 PM
Ahhhh....MMmmmm.... :devil:
I so love the 'universal' language of female appreciation. :haha: :angel:Come to think of it, my wife needs to show me some appreciation tonight. :lol:
males, pffffffffffffft :fiery::p

RVD
Mar 21st, 2006, 10:14 PM
I will co-sign with you on this one because some of my boys have started exclusively dating white women because of this flawed belief that they are easier to get along with. In some instances the theory has proven to work out in their favor, but for the most part all white women aren't understanding and forgiving.

One of my best friends thought he caught one and she turned out to be one of his worst girlfriends. She was calling his cell phone every hour, talking to people at his job, and she even slashed his tires when he called himself "visiting" his other female friend. He was actually scared of her because she didn't take any of his shit that he was getting away with before. I thought his little venture was hilarious and it proved that some white women can be loud, aggressive, rude and ignorant.

The bottom line is that black women are as diverse as any other race of women. You will find ghetto, ethnic, conservative, aggressive, passive, mean-spirited, postive, negative, or stong types of sista's in everyday life.

From my experience I will say that black women are more confrontational than their white counterparts but other than that their isn't a big difference.:wavey: :worship: :worship:
That's just about how I feel.
I've had great experiences and bad experiences with the sistas. So they are (in general) no different than any other ethnic female.
However, I must admit that if I was in a tough situation, a sista would be a great back-up in kick'n some some azz. :lol:

Veritas
Mar 21st, 2006, 10:15 PM
This line of thinking is prevalent in the Asian culture as well. They see a marriage to a White man or woman as a move 'upward', hence the high number of Asian/White relationships and marriages.


Please, please, please don't generalise about Asian culture (or any other others), especially when no-one ever talks about them on this board.

Although the number of Asian girls dating (and marrying) white guys is high, there's still social and family problems when they make it public knowledge, and not just in the white community as well. And not to mention that there is a growing trend today amongst Asian girls to now date Asian guys.

I won't say that there aren't Asians who 'think better' of those who've gone off and 'whitened' themselves, but nationalism is growing fast in Asia and it's fuelled both by the status of Japan and the growing economy of China. People are proud of their Asian-ness. And saying that the white-interracial "line of thinking" being somehow "prevalent" in Asian culture totally ignores that there is also a hierarchy amongst them as well.

You rarely see Asian guys dating outside their race. There's pressure on them to both "carry on" their "heritage" and to not "shame" their family and blood line. That's why when say a Chinese dates a Japanese, their families will be quick to tell them just why they think the relationship "won't last".

RVD
Mar 21st, 2006, 10:17 PM
males, pffffffffffffft :fiery::pSorry hablovah. Sometimes, being a male, things just pop from my mouth without prior forethought. :lol:

hablo
Mar 21st, 2006, 10:20 PM
Sorry hablovah. Sometimes, being a male, things just pop from my mouth without prior forethought. :lol:
do not do it again ! :p:lol:

Dana Marcy
Mar 21st, 2006, 10:47 PM
Although I can't stand the Spurs (sorry to their fans :angel: ), Tony Parker has always come across as a nice, sweet guy so I'm happy for Eva. :) As for the mess with her grandma, well I'll wait to read all about it in Allure because something don't sound quite right. :shrug:

Dana Marcy
Mar 21st, 2006, 10:51 PM
The bottom line is that black women are as diverse as any other race of women. You will find ghetto, ethnic, conservative, aggressive, passive, mean-spirited, postive, negative, or stong types of sista's in everyday life.

:worship: :bigclap: That's why I love Girlfriends and Half & Half because they show all those sistas that you described. :D

From my experience I will say that black women are more confrontational than their white counterparts but other than that their isn't a big difference. :wavey:

We are because in so many ways we've had to fight and overcome more both within our communities AND outside of it. :o

Stamp Paid
Mar 21st, 2006, 11:34 PM
Legs spread, mouth open, if you know what I mean.:o

LOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
_________________________________________

Anybody remember in Malcolm X when Malcolm made that white woman (Sophia) he was with kiss his feet and feed him?

meyerpl
Mar 22nd, 2006, 12:13 AM
You can couch it any way you want, put whatever spin on it you can come up with, nonetheless; suggesting that white women are more submissive than black women is incredibly insulting and bigoted. It's no better than churning out any other racial stereotype. Suppose I sat here and stated that black men are more submissive than white men, and then supported my statement with a bunch of rhetoric. Hey, that's my experience. Don't get angry, it's just my point of view. I am disappointed in some of the bullshit being spewed on this thread. Harloo's comments about black women are excellent. The degrading remarks about white women on this thread, sexual and otherwise, are unbelievable. I'm really disappointed.

Black Mamba.
Mar 22nd, 2006, 12:15 AM
:worship: :worship:
That's just about how I feel.
I've had great experiences and bad experiences with the sistas. So they are (in general) no different than any other ethnic female.
However, I must admit that if I was in a tough situation, a sista would be a great back-up in kick'n some some azz. :lol:


You ain't lyin, most sistas I know would be ready to scrap if I was in a tough situation.

meyerpl
Mar 22nd, 2006, 12:18 AM
LOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
_________________________________________

Anybody remember in Malcolm X when Malcolm made that white woman (Sophia) he was with kiss his feet and feed him?
Hey, that's funny. Along the same lines, I knew this white biker dude in the joint, and he had this punk, this black dude, and he used to make him..............

Rocketta
Mar 22nd, 2006, 12:30 AM
You can couch it any way you want, put whatever spin on it you can come up with, nonetheless; suggesting that white women are more submissive than black women is incredibly insulting and bigoted. It's no better than churning out any other racial stereotype. Suppose I sat here and stated that black men are more submissive than white men, and then supported my statement with a bunch of rhetoric. Hey, that's my experience. Don't get angry, it's just my point of view. I am disappointed in some of the bullshit being spewed on this thread. Harloo's comments about black women are excellent. The degrading remarks about white women on this thread, sexual and otherwise, are unbelievable. I'm really disappointed.

on this I will agree with you....there is nothing different about black or white women other than cosmetic and what I mean is they present their ideas differently but they have the same goal in mind, ie love and happiness. We shouldn't buy into anyone's lame excuse as to why they do anything just because it's putting black women down. Just call the men on their :bs: but I don't think we should look for characteristics in the other women and put them down as a reason these men are trifling. :shrug:

I do think Monique was expressing what a lot of black women think because lets be honest for years and years black women have had to hold the community down and for that they get rewarded by their men telling them they in a round about way that they are too aggressive, loud and confident...and thats what these black men are doing by saying they date white women because of x,y,z...I do think looks are deceiving though. A girl can look like she's being submissive to the outside eye but she may have all the power we don't know. :shrug:

and yes Liz's post was uncalled for....we can't fault white women if a lot (not all of course) black men are bamboozeled by society into thinking the grass is greener. They should know it's not by just looking at their grandmoms, mothers, sisters, nieces, etc.

Black Mamba.
Mar 22nd, 2006, 12:33 AM
on this I will agree with you....there is nothing different about black or white women other than cosmetic and what I mean is they present their ideas differently but they have the same goal in mind, ie love and happiness. We shouldn't buy into anyone's lame excuse as to why they do anything just because it's putting black women down. Just call the men on their :bs: but I don't think we should look for characteristics in the other women and put them down as a reason these men are trifling. :shrug:

I do think Monique was expressing what a lot of black women think because lets be honest for years and years black women have had to hold the community down and for that they get rewarded by their men telling them they in a round about way that they are too aggressive, loud and confident...and thats what these black men are doing by saying they date white women because of x,y,z...I do think looks are deceiving though. A girl can look like she's being submissive to the outside eye but she may have all the power we don't know. :shrug:

and yes Liz's post was uncalled for....we can't fault white women if a lot (not all of course) black men are bamboozeled by society into thinking the grass is greener. They should know it's not by just looking at their grandmoms, mothers, sisters, nieces, etc.

I agree, date/marry who you want, but don't use lame excuses to justify why you do what you do and don't complain when your family or friends don't approve.

meyerpl
Mar 22nd, 2006, 12:44 AM
on this I will agree with you....there is nothing different about black or white women other than cosmetic and what I mean is they present their ideas differently but they have the same goal in mind, ie love and happiness. We shouldn't buy into anyone's lame excuse as to why they do anything just because it's putting black women down. Just call the men on their :bs: but I don't think we should look for characteristics in the other women and put them down as a reason these men are trifling. :shrug:

I do think Monique was expressing what a lot of black women think because lets be honest for years and years black women have had to hold the community down and for that they get rewarded by their men telling them they in a round about way that they are too aggressive, loud and confident...and thats what these black men are doing by saying they date white women because of x,y,z...I do think looks are deceiving though. A girl can look like she's being submissive to the outside eye but she may have all the power we don't know. :shrug:

and yes Liz's post was uncalled for....we can't fault white women if a lot (not all of course) black men are bamboozeled by society into thinking the grass is greener. They should know it's not by just looking at their grandmoms, mothers, sisters, nieces, etc.
:worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: Thank you!!! I don't feel like putting anybody down, especially women.........period! When I referred to Harloo's comment's about black women, I was referring to something positive he said, not negative. It was really solid, actually. I HATE racial bigotry in any form and I HATE women being humiliated in any form. It's two of my pet peeves. I've got no time for it.

ampers&
Mar 22nd, 2006, 12:50 AM
I do think Monique was expressing what a lot of black women think because lets be honest for years and years black women have had to hold the community down and for that they get rewarded by their men telling them they in a round about way that they are too aggressive, loud and confident...and thats what these black men are doing by saying they date white women because of x,y,z...I do think looks are deceiving though. A girl can look like she's being submissive to the outside eye but she may have all the power we don't know. :shrug:

at least you understand me. :) :hug:

Stamp Paid
Mar 22nd, 2006, 12:57 AM
Hey, that's funny. Along the same lines, I knew this white biker dude in the joint, and he had this punk, this black dude, and he used to make him..............

Jail sucks. :lol:
Did that film reference offend you or something? Have you seen the movie Malcolm X to understand the context? I wasn't just chiming in to show the "submissive" nature of the white female, :crazy:

RVD
Mar 22nd, 2006, 01:50 AM
Please, please, please don't generalise about Asian culture (or any other others), especially when no-one ever talks about them on this board.Oops, didn't mean to generalize. But in my haste to make a point, I did. My apologies Veritas.
I have a question to ask you at the end of this post though. :wavey:
Although the number of Asian girls dating (and marrying) white guys is high, there's still social and family problems when they make it public knowledge, and not just in the white community as well. And not to mention that there is a growing trend today amongst Asian girls to now date Asian guys.Me and my brother have had more Asian friends than any other ethnic group we've encountered. Even my sons. And what we've all been informed of is the very strict 'non-dating', 'non-relatinship' belief that their parents have. These friends of ours have carried on secret relationships of races other than their own, but never told their parents. It was that way when I was growing up, and apparently even now with my sons. I was only speaking from this frame of reference. I certainly wasn't looking to portray all Asians this way.
I won't say that there aren't Asians who 'think better' of those who've gone off and 'whitened' themselves, but nationalism is growing fast in Asia and it's fuelled both by the status of Japan and the growing economy of China. People are proud of their Asian-ness. And saying that the white-interracial "line of thinking" being somehow "prevalent" in Asian culture totally ignores that there is also a hierarchy amongst them as well.Okay, I think I know where the misunderstanding is coming from now.
I was speaking specifically of American(ized) Asians, for I have no experience with those groups outside the U.S. But I'm glad that you brought this up, because it added some relevance to what I stated earlier.
You rarely see Asian guys dating outside their race. There's pressure on them to both "carry on" their "heritage" and to not "shame" their family and blood line. That's why when say a Chinese dates a Japanese, their families will be quick to tell them just why they think the relationship "won't last".Based solely on observation, this is very true. Still, I've witnessed some very interesting Asian men Black women relationships where I live, and let me tell you that there is no more unique pairing than this in the U.S. And I think it's a good thing all the way around.
It tells me that anybody , regardless of cultural differences can find love. :worship:

Now as to that question I mentioned above ;) :
My brother has been trying to get this Chinese lady to go out on a date with him. She definitely likes him, and he definitely likes her. However, the older Chinese men and women constantly do things like follow them and their conversations; or interrupt them when they are laughing; or call the girl when she seems to get too deep into a conversation. The girl my brother likes can barely speak English, and my brother, ONLY English, but for some reason they can carry on a conversation. :tape:
Anyway, the question is, WHY? Why 'block' an evolving friendship and possible relationship like that? Can it be that what I described earlier can be seen here? Or is there another reason that both my brother and I have yet to understand? :confused:

RVD
Mar 22nd, 2006, 02:35 AM
on this I will agree with you....there is nothing different about black or white women other than cosmetic and what I mean is they present their ideas differently but they have the same goal in mind, ie love and happiness. We shouldn't buy into anyone's lame excuse as to why they do anything just because it's putting black women down. Just call the men on their :bs: but I don't think we should look for characteristics in the other women and put them down as a reason these men are trifling. :shrug:

I do think Monique was expressing what a lot of black women think because lets be honest for years and years black women have had to hold the community down and for that they get rewarded by their men telling them they in a round about way that they are too aggressive, loud and confident...and thats what these black men are doing by saying they date white women because of x,y,z...I do think looks are deceiving though. A girl can look like she's being submissive to the outside eye but she may have all the power we don't know. :shrug:

and yes Liz's post was uncalled for....we can't fault white women if a lot (not all of course) black men are bamboozeled by society into thinking the grass is greener. They should know it's not by just looking at their grandmoms, mothers, sisters, nieces, etc.Great post Rocky! :worship:
In fact, I was wondering if some posts were directed at me because of my interracial marriage. :confused:
And about the White women being 'submissive'...
...what of the Mexican women? What are they considered? :confused:
And does anyone have a problem with that here? :confused:

I can understand the years old animosity directed at the Black man of the 60s' and 70s' era, but these days are a far cry from those decades-old perceptions. Also, in keeping with the good-natured atmosphere of this thread, we should try to keep negative generalizations to a bare minimum. Hopefully, we can all agree on this approach.

ampers&
Mar 22nd, 2006, 02:38 AM
Great post Rocky! :worship:
In fact, I was wondering if some posts were directed at me because of my interracial marriage. :confused:
And does anyone have a problem with that here? :confused:
my posts weren't directed towards you and i have no problem with your relationship. :)
Also, in keeping with the good-natured atmosphere of this thread, we should try to keep negative generalizations to a bare minimum. Hopefully, we can all agree on this approach.
done and done from me. :wavey:

RVD
Mar 22nd, 2006, 02:40 AM
my posts weren't directed towards you and i have no problem with your relationship. :)

done and done from me. :wavey:Thank you love. :kiss: :wavey:

kiwifan
Mar 22nd, 2006, 02:53 AM
Originally Posted by lizchris
Legs spread, mouth open, if you know what I mean.:o
:yeah: :yippee: :yeah:



Ahhhh....MMmmmm.... :devil:
I so love the 'universal' language of female appreciation. :haha: :angel:


:worship: :worship: :worship:

Kunal
Mar 22nd, 2006, 03:23 AM
borng

kiwifan
Mar 22nd, 2006, 03:39 AM
Lets See...

Alba's doing the right thing for her career.

Eva's hot.

Racist Grandparents, I have one of those. He's adorably racist (from my perspective); one of those old guys who just says whatever he feels like. His Daddy was lynched (for passing as *tah dah* German - even spoke some Deutch) so I know where he's coming from - I still correct him though. :hug:

Yep. Some black guys just like pretty women and don't care which race they are - methinks that's a factor too. I don't know any black male in 2006 who would date "any old white girl" over every black woman. ;)

My first relationship in college was with a white female and the next time I was available I was hitting on a black female and she was straight up, "I thought you only dated white girls." So I think, in my observations that some black women take themselves out of the running when they see the inter-racial thing (which achieves the self fulfilling prophecy :shrug: ). On the other hand there was a "bourgeois" black girl at my school who wouldn't give me the time of day...until she saw me with a white girl...then she threw herself at me on several occaisions - I was a freshman and she was a junior - so I had to forgive her for being a snob :devil:

Example in my law school lets say there were 200 white women and 30 black women; of that subset there were probably 25 white women that I would date and about 5 black women that I would date (plenty of factors account for personal taste beyond skin color - I prefer smart athletic women with long hair who don't mind my getting stinking drunk every Saturday afternoon with the boys). Now the big question is how many of those 30 would date me? That would be my dating pool. Think I ended up "hooking up with" 3 black chicks and 15 white chicks in my law school. :cool:

Final "foot in mouth" observation. Many black males in college are athletes, fair or not athletes get "the booty" thrown at them all the time. I was a Division 3 athlete and every weekend if I was looking, there was someone available - and usually they were white (although my bourgeois junior - she even had one of those french surnames :lol: :tape: - and a couple of others were in that crowd too). Now I don't know why a woman going out to parties having a few drinks and going after a guy is somehow "weak willed", submissive or even a negative. Some of the most promiscuous chicks at my school were also the smartest and I'm still friends with a couple of them to this day (they're happily married to classmates :angel: ) Don't know why a black male hooking up with a cute girl who wants him is somehow, him being insecure or whatever. Just college students having fun. I also know that if you don't have to work for it, you won't work for it. ;)

RVD
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:44 AM
Lets See...

Alba's doing the right thing for her career.

Eva's hot.

Racist Grandparents, I have one of those. He's adorably racist (from my perspective); one of those old guys who just says whatever he feels like. His Daddy was lynched (for passing as *tah dah* German - even spoke some Deutch) so I know where he's coming from - I still correct him though. :hug:

Yep. Some black guys just like pretty women and don't care which race they are - methinks that's a factor too. I don't know any black male in 2006 who would date "any old white girl" over every black woman. ;)

My first relationship in college was with a white female and the next time I was available I was hitting on a black female and she was straight up, "I thought you only dated white girls." So I think, in my observations that some black women take themselves out of the running when they see the inter-racial thing (which achieves the self fulfilling prophecy :shrug: ). On the other hand there was a "bourgeois" black girl at my school who wouldn't give me the time of day...until she saw me with a white girl...then she threw herself at me on several occaisions - I was a freshman and she was a junior - so I had to forgive her for being a snob :devil:

Example in my law school lets say there were 200 white women and 30 black women; of that subset there were probably 25 white women that I would date and about 5 black women that I would date (plenty of factors account for personal taste beyond skin color - I prefer smart athletic women with long hair who don't mind my getting stinking drunk every Saturday afternoon with the boys). Now the big question is how many of those 30 would date me? That would be my dating pool. Think I ended up "hooking up with" 3 black chicks and 15 white chicks in my law school. :cool:

Final "foot in mouth" observation. Many black males in college are athletes, fair or not athletes get "the booty" thrown at them all the time. I was a Division 3 athlete and every weekend if I was looking, there was someone available - and usually they were white (although my bourgeois junior - she even had one of those french surnames :lol: :tape: - and a couple of others were in that crowd too). Now I don't know why a woman going out to parties having a few drinks and going after a guy is somehow "weak willed", submissive or even a negative. Some of the most promiscuous chicks at my school were also the smartest and I'm still friends with a couple of them to this day (they're happily married to classmates :angel: ) Don't know why a black male hooking up with a cute girl who wants him is somehow, him being insecure or whatever. Just college students having fun. I also know that if you don't have to work for it, you won't work for it. ;)


:haha: :haha: :worship:
Kiwifan, you're so chronological. :lol:
Or is that categorical? :scratch: :lol: :p

RVD
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:45 AM
borngFeel free to add some spice Kunal. :angel:

kiwifan
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:53 AM
:haha: :haha: :worship:
Kiwifan, you're so chronological. :lol:
Or is that categorical? :scratch: :lol: :p

I figured that I was only capable of one post "of substance" in this thread. :p

So I didn't want to miss anythang. :hehehe:

Infiniti2001
Mar 22nd, 2006, 05:15 AM
Trust kiwifan to spice up what has become a boring thread :haha: :yeah:

Infiniti2001
Mar 22nd, 2006, 05:25 AM
abuela won't approve of this dude ?? :eek: I mean he complexion is similar to Eva's :shrug: :rolleyes:

http://www.comcast.net/data/br/2006/03/21/br-61051.jpg

RVD
Mar 22nd, 2006, 05:32 AM
I figured that I was only capable of one post "of substance" in this thread. :p

So I didn't want to miss anythang. :hehehe::worship: :lol: You keep me in stitches. :yeah:

Dawn Marie
Mar 22nd, 2006, 05:53 AM
The movie CRASH was great and so is this thread.:)


Eva's grandma is a racist. Eva knows that even though Tony P looks damn near Latino himself that if she KNEW he was half black that this would be the end of it. So in a sense it isn't about his actual complexion but the fact that he has black blood in his genes.

meyerpl
Mar 22nd, 2006, 05:56 AM
Kiwifan, I liked your post. Sometimes people over-analyze why people do what they do, especially why men do what they do when it comes to women.

kiwifan
Mar 22nd, 2006, 06:11 AM
Kiwifan, I liked your post. Sometimes people over-analyze why people do what they do, especially why men do what they do when it comes to women.

Thank you. :angel:

Damn, I was expecting to get a mini-beat down from my post. :lol: :tape:

Maybe tomorrow, it is late on the East Coast. :p

Veritas
Mar 22nd, 2006, 07:44 AM
Oops, didn't mean to generalize. But in my haste to make a point, I did. My apologies Veritas.

That's O.K. You're a great guy, and we generally share the same views and ideas anyway :)

Besides, I catch myself doing the same thing at times...

Me and my brother have had more Asian friends than any other ethnic group we've encountered. Even my sons. And what we've all been informed of is the very strict 'non-dating', 'non-relatinship' belief that their parents have.

It's all about "education".

In many other cultures, "money" and "power" are the two main things that determines what part of the social ladder their people occupy. There are other factors, but they're the ones that stick out at the top of my head.

Amongst Asians, however, it's "education". Sure, "money" and "power" are important, but amongst Asians, "education" is the only way to secure a future with lots of $$$ and plenty of influence. It's the only thing that earns people respect in a lot (and probably all) of Asian communities.

In other societies, however, it's not just "education" that earns you respect. You get props for being a successful sports/movie/singing star, writer, academic.....just about anything that shows your talent, be it money, creativity, or whatever. Basically, you get props in a much wider array of jobs and occupations.

With Asians, however, it's the "bookworm road" that's recognised as a sure way to money and success. Why else would courses like Engineering, Commerce/Macroeconomics, Medicine, Science, Computer Science and Bioengineering have such a high number of Asian students?

And that's why Asian parents don't like to see their kids dating until their at least in their 20s. They see dating as a threat to their kid's future, if it's done too early.

These friends of ours have carried on secret relationships of races other than their own, but never told their parents. It was that way when I was growing up, and apparently even now with my sons. I was only speaking from this frame of reference. I certainly wasn't looking to portray all Asians this way.

If their parents found out they're dating "outside" their race, then they'll have a shitload of flak to look forward to :tape:

Oh, it won't be much though. Their mums would nag, nag, nag, (and then nag some more) while their dads would pretend to not care, but you can see they care very much about what their grandkids would look like.

Okay, I think I know where the misunderstanding is coming from now.
I was speaking specifically of American(ized) Asians, for I have no experience with those groups outside the U.S. But I'm glad that you brought this up, because it added some relevance to what I stated earlier.
Based solely on observation, this is very true. Still, I've witnessed some very interesting Asian men Black women relationships where I live, and let me tell you that there is no more unique pairing than this in the U.S. And I think it's a good thing all the way around.
It tells me that anybody , regardless of cultural differences can find love. :worship:

Oh, I see :)

I don't know about Asian-Americans, but the Asians over here in Australia...well, it's much rarer these days to see an Asian girl date a white guy. Not to say that there aren't any, but the frequence of Asian interracial relationships is very rare.

Even at my Uni, you often see Asians hang out with other Asians only - and that includes those who speak English with the Aussie accent.

The Chinese especially are proud (i.e. arrogantly boastful) of their country's status as the world's next big thing, and they're much more open about their "Chinese-ness". And that includes not hanging out as much with non-Chinese people.

Now as to that question I mentioned above ;) :
My brother has been trying to get this Chinese lady to go out on a date with him. She definitely likes him, and he definitely likes her. However, the older Chinese men and women constantly do things like follow them and their conversations; or interrupt them when they are laughing; or call the girl when she seems to get too deep into a conversation. The girl my brother likes can barely speak English, and my brother, ONLY English, but for some reason they can carry on a conversation. :tape:
Anyway, the question is, WHY? Why 'block' an evolving friendship and possible relationship like that? Can it be that what I described earlier can be seen here? Or is there another reason that both my brother and I have yet to understand? :confused:

One thing about older Asians is this: they're conservative.

That's why they're a quiet bunch in public (at least in non-Asian places). And that's why they put little effort in integrating with another culture or learning its language.

Nearly all the older Asians I know can barely speak a word of English. They always use the excuse "we don't have time to learn English", but it's clearly bullshit.

Anyway, the "blocking" is because the older Asian folk feel threatened by what's going on. The concept of family is very, very, very important in Asia. That's why even when people are fully grown adults with a family of their own, they still get their parents to live with them. It's very much unlike other cultures where the most important thing that parents teach their kids is independence. With Asians, it's about families sticking together.

And that's why Asian folks spend so much time with their kids: they're grooming them to land a secure job (usually a medical or office one) and bring up a stable family. And that "stable family" must, in their eyes, be an Asian one because older Asians are distrustful of non-Asian culture. They are very proud of the qualities that "Asians" connotates (e.g. studying, hard-working, etc.) and they think that other cultures don't share that. So when they see an Asian with another non-Asian, they think that (1) everything they taught their kids have been ignored, and (2) that the non-Asian is only using the Asian for financial security or God knows what.

It's all about old-fashioned values. A lot of cultures had them in the past. It's just that Asians haven't quite modernised yet, whereas the others have.

My advice to your brother is to ignore the older Asians if he thinks they've gone too far. They won't do much, other than whine or bitch to the girl. Otherwise, the Asians will soon get over it, just like they do with everything else :)

Aquanetta
Mar 22nd, 2006, 01:04 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol:

I know Black folks like that who think just because they ski, golf, and listen to Green Day they are a better black person than someone that doesn't do those things.

There’s nothing wrong with black people (or any other minority) doing any of the things that you cited. The problem is that instead of just participating in those activities, they have to broadcast it as if to proclaim “I’m different. I’m not your average Negro.” Ridiculous.

lizchris
Mar 22nd, 2006, 01:17 PM
Yep. Some black guys just like pretty women and don't care which race they are - methinks that's a factor too. I don't know any black male in 2006 who would date "any old white girl" over every black woman. ;)


You need to come to the NYC area. There are some black men who date some of the fattest, nastiest, greasiest whtie women and would never look twice at a black womean who was the same.:o

Aquanetta
Mar 22nd, 2006, 01:23 PM
Yes, I did get irritated. It's a slippery slope when people start making racial generalizations. People draw from their own experiences, which are very narrow in scope, and start painting people with a broad brush. The example I used, working in a prison, is an obvious example of what I'm talking about. Nonetheless, it happens. I know, first hand. People tend to draw conclusions from their own experiences. A prison in a small town populated by white people is going to have a bunch of white men and women working in it learning all about black people, or so they think. So, what I'm suggesting is, don't be too quick to reach conclusions about people based on your experiences. Those conclusions won't be valid.

Not entirely valid but there will be some validity to these conclusions that we reach about race. Naturally, we can’t poll every person on the planet but a lot of generalizations are true.

For example, how much do you want to bet that 90% of people attending a Green Day concert will be white? And how about a wager that 90% of people attending a Mary J. Blige show will be black?

Those are “light” conclusions that I think are factual.

Now as for interracial dating, of course none of us know every black male-white female pairing in the universe but based on our experience we can draw some conclusions even if they aren’t entirely accurate. I find some truth in my opinions because I’ve met black women from all over the country who have observed the same behavioral pattern when black men date white women. That isn’t to say that all white women are all submissive but a good amount are when they are in relationships with black men.

My jaw tightens when people start talking about how white women, black men, white men, black women, Jews, American Indians, Muslims, etc. etc. act, think and feel.

I know it bothers you when people make generalizations but I’d rather have people be vocal and honest as opposed to putting on a façade that they have no preconceived notions about gender, race, religion, etc.

Aquanetta
Mar 22nd, 2006, 01:36 PM
Sadly, I've made the same observation. In fact, to take this a bit further...
I've been in situations (corporate meetings) where this type of 'brutha' attempted to berate and demean me because I didn't act White enough (being that we both held nice positions). He didn't realize that many on both sides spoke negatively of him.
One side said that he was a good 'boy', and the other side said that he'd lost his 'blackness'. Funny how these folks never realize the fence they are straddling is castrating them. :lol: At least in the case of this fellow. :)

I’ve had similar experiences with blacks in a corporate setting and one “sistuh” actually advised me in the same way. She actually told me that when I make small talk with our white colleagues why do I talk them about “black stuff”? Yes she said that!

Sure there’s a part of me that knows, for example, that the chances are slim that they’ve seen “Something New” or the “Madea” movies but I’m not backing down; I’m not censoring my experience to put them or any other non-black person at ease. Welcome to our reality.

skanky~skanketta
Mar 22nd, 2006, 01:47 PM
well, he's got too many scars on his face.

Infiniti2001
Mar 22nd, 2006, 01:51 PM
You need to come to the NYC area. There are some black men who date some of the fattest, nastiest, greasiest whtie women and would never look twice at a black womean who was the same.:o

but it's their prerogative :shrug: I just don't understand why anyone of any race get bothered with interracial couples :o

Aquanetta
Mar 22nd, 2006, 01:52 PM
Realistically the trend of defining what ethincitiy is hot at the moment will never change in Hollywood. You either work the system or prove that you are very capable of transcending race.

Will Smith is living proof that it can be done.

True but the bigger issue is that Hollywood will only let a few minorities in at a time. Will, Denzel and Jamie are the “It” black actors for the time being.

Sure you can say what about Terrence Howard and Don Cheadle? They are critically-acclaimed indie actors who are going mainstream. Can they join the Trifecta? I doubt it because Hollywood isn’t that progressive...yet.

And then there’s our black actresses.

Halle’s done a slow fade since winning the Oscar.

Sanaa and Gabrielle work steadily but are still looking for their Jamie-esque breakthrough.

Angela hasn’t had a good part since Tina Turner.

Alfre does mainly supporting roles.

Sad.

No Name Face
Mar 22nd, 2006, 02:06 PM
You need to come to the NYC area. There are some black men who date some of the fattest, nastiest, greasiest whtie women and would never look twice at a black womean who was the same.:o

yup :o
this happens a lot. you'll see some decent looking black dude with the grimiest white chick.
and as of recently, i've seen the reverse too (hot black girls with :retard: white guys).
but hey, maybe it's the personality? who am i to judge?

Aquanetta
Mar 22nd, 2006, 02:13 PM
Please, please, please don't generalise about Asian culture (or any other others), especially when no-one ever talks about them on this board.

Why are Asians often ignored in discussions of race? And in my experience, Asians often seem uncomfortable talking about race, so much so, they won’t speak up when they are being discriminated.

Thoughts?

Although the number of Asian girls dating (and marrying) white guys is high, there's still social and family problems when they make it public knowledge, and not just in the white community as well. And not to mention that there is a growing trend today amongst Asian girls to now date Asian guys.

What is it about the different Asian cultures that makes them want to keep these things discreet? Also,you cite white guys—what if these Asian girls married Black, Hispanic or Middle Eastern guys? Will the “social and family problems” be equal to the problems that arise when they marry white guys?

I won't say that there aren't Asians who 'think better' of those who've gone off and 'whitened' themselves, but nationalism is growing fast in Asia and it's fuelled both by the status of Japan and the growing economy of China. People are proud of their Asian-ness. And saying that the white-interracial "line of thinking" being somehow "prevalent" in Asian culture totally ignores that there is also a hierarchy amongst them as well.

You rarely see Asian guys dating outside their race. There's pressure on them to both "carry on" their "heritage" and to not "shame" their family and blood line. That's why when say a Chinese dates a Japanese, their families will be quick to tell them just why they think the relationship "won't last".

Thank you!! Very enlightening. I’m so glad you posted on this thread.

Aquanetta
Mar 22nd, 2006, 03:06 PM
:retard:

you're one crazy broad...but always good for a laugh. always good for that at the very least...

And you’re one naïve, sheltered biracial guy who has many issues that I now suspect includes denial about sexual orientation. As Seinfeld said, “not that there’s anything wrong with that”.

you just don't like having your shit called out --- like when kabuki called your bigoted ass out when you were labeling asians...

I answered kabuki’s claims. I admitted I was out of line but I wasn’t embarrassed. And? Did you do the same? Have you owned up to the fact that you don’t think that WE are equal to white people?

then you have the audacity to make sweeping generalizations about white people.

I wasn’t the only one yet you single me out. I understand, though. Their online friendship is important so you don’t want to ruffle Miching and SJW’s feathers any further. So PATHETIC how this board controls your actions.


THEN you say you hate it when blacks do the same thing to their own, which is exactly what you do on the boards to me and to others because i don't agree with your parochial views on life and race.

No Name Face, you had me pegged for some militant who doesn’t look at the black community objectively. WRONG. You, on the other hand, still see us as n*ggers who would get along with white folks if we just didn’t make any waves.

generalizations on their own aren't bad things --- most people try to quantify experiences so that they can have a logical heuristic for a particular situation. it's natural, it's human. but when you call other people out for generalizing, and tell them they're WRONG or IGNORANT, you just look retarded when you do it two weeks later. :retard:

I called YOU out because you have no respect for the black side of you. So little respect that you jump to the defense of any criticisms of white people AND soft pedal on the discrimination issues that we STILL face.

I’m glad you’ll be interning in NYC this summer because HOPEFULLY you’ll grasp how little good your Norman Rockwell world is doing you. And for the record, Mr. Goldman Sachs, when you live in the Tri-State Area, the term “the city” is referring to Manhattan ONLY. Brooklyn is borough as is Queens…

You’re welcome.

lizchris
Mar 22nd, 2006, 03:17 PM
yup :o
this happens a lot. you'll see some decent looking black dude with the grimiest white chick.
and as of recently, i've seen the reverse too (hot black girls with :retard: white guys).
but hey, maybe it's the personality? who am i to judge?


Remember from the movie "Jungle Fever" when Samuel L. Jackson said to Spike Lee that usually when you see a while man with a black woman, the woman is slammin' but when a black man is with a white woman, the woman is not a Penthouse pet, but more like an outhouse pet? :lol: :haha::lol:

Aquanetta
Mar 22nd, 2006, 03:22 PM
I'm trying to figure out what "white-washed" images of us that black folk kick a fuss up about? Care to elaborate on that one? :confused:

As I said, some black people aren't happy with the "ghetto" image portrayed in the media.

The disdain for the "white-washed" image belongs to those members of our community who thought, for example, the Huxtables were unrealistic and "watered down" or that Oprah panders to a more white sensibility.

Aquanetta
Mar 22nd, 2006, 03:38 PM
You can couch it any way you want, put whatever spin on it you can come up with, nonetheless; suggesting that white women are more submissive than black women is incredibly insulting and bigoted. It's no better than churning out any other racial stereotype. Suppose I sat here and stated that black men are more submissive than white men, and then supported my statement with a bunch of rhetoric. Hey, that's my experience. Don't get angry, it's just my point of view. I am disappointed in some of the bullshit being spewed on this thread. Harloo's comments about black women are excellent. The degrading remarks about white women on this thread, sexual and otherwise, are unbelievable. I'm really disappointed.

Well, personally I’d rather you be blatantly honest as opposed to holding on to a “We are the world, we are the children” ideal. That belief is such garbage and actually is more counterproductive because it perpetuates a superficiality that severely prevents people from having a dialogue that is very necessary.

Aquanetta
Mar 22nd, 2006, 03:45 PM
You need to come to the NYC area. There are some black men who date some of the fattest, nastiest, greasiest whtie women and would never look twice at a black womean who was the same.:o

Seen it. One too many times. And I think: "brutha, why did you have to rummage through the trailer park when there's plenty of gentrified white girls at the bougie lounges that serves $15 martinis."

meyerpl
Mar 22nd, 2006, 03:57 PM
I know it bothers you when people make generalizations but I’d rather have people be vocal and honest as opposed to putting on a façade that they have no preconceived notions about gender, race, religion, etc.

I agree with you 100%! People should be honest about their preconceived notions, but for the purpose of challenging them, not accepting them. Preconceived notions is another way of saying prejudices. We all heve them. I firmly believe in digging deep within oneself for our prejudices so we can challenge them. I place predjudice in a catagory with greed and envy. It's a character flaw we should work to overcome.

kiwifan
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:05 PM
I agree with you 100%! People should be honest about their preconceived notions, but for the purpose of challenging them, not accepting them. Preconceived notions is another way of saying prejudices. We all heve them. I firmly believe in digging deep within oneself for our prejudices so we can challenge them. I place predjudice in a catagory with greed and envy. It's a character flaw we should work to overcome. :worship: :worship: :worship:

:shout:Hit it!!!

All the world over, so easy to see
People everywhere just wanna be free
Listen, please listen, that's the way it should be
Deep in the valley, people got to be free

You should see what a lovely, lovely world this'd be
Everyone learned to live together, ah-hah-unh
Seems to me such an itty bitty thing should be
Why can't you and me learn to love one another?

All the world over, so easy to see
People everywhere just wanna be free
I can't understand it, so simple to me
People everywhere just got to be free

If there's a man who is down and needs a helpin' hand
All it takes is you to understand and to pull him through, ah-hah-unh
Seems to me we got to solve it individually, ah-hah-unh
And I'll do unto you what you do to me

Shout it from the mountain on out to the sea (out to the sea)
No two ways about it, people have to be free
Ask me my opinion, my opinion will be
Nat'ral situation for a man to be free

Git right on board now

[Instrumental Interlude]

Oh, what a feelin's just come over me
Love can move a mountain, make a blind man see
Everybody sing it now come on let's go see
Deep in the valley now, we ought to be free

[Spoken:]
See that train over there?
That's the train of freedom
It's about to 'rrive any minute, now
You know it's been'a long, long overdue
Look out 'cause it's a'comin' right on through


:dance: :angel: :dance:

Kunal
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:06 PM
dangus....what a long thread....sure got ppl talkin

meyerpl
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:08 PM
Well, personally I’d rather you be blatantly honest as opposed to holding on to a “We are the world, we are the children” ideal. That belief is such garbage and actually is more counterproductive because it perpetuates a superficiality that severely prevents people from having a dialogue that is very necessary.
I don't see the world through rose colored glasses. I firmly believe that people should strive to overcome their prejudices. I'm not color blind, nor do I pretend to be, but I teach my children to reject stereotypes and that's what I try to do. It isn't my vision of the world, as you suggest, it's what I firmly believe is my responsibility promote within myself and my family.

Black Mamba.
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:13 PM
This post gets better and better. I believe it is important that we have these kind of discussions because all too often we get the "everyone is the same" stuff that really doesn't help the situation. I commend everyone in this post for being real on these issues and I hope the positive dialogue can continue.

kiwifan
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:19 PM
I just hope y'all appreciate that I didn't go with "Everyday People"...

...such an obvious choice really :yawn:

Okay...

...time to re-enter the real world y'all :wavey:

:bolt:

Aquanetta
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:19 PM
I don't see the world through rose colored glasses. I firmly believe that people should strive to overcome their prejudices. I'm not color blind, nor do I pretend to be, but I teach my children to reject stereotypes and that's what I try to do. It isn't my vision of the world, as you suggest, it's what I firmly believe is my responsibility promote within myself and my family.

Fair enough.

Commendable.

ampers&
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:21 PM
I agree with you 100%! People should be honest about their preconceived notions, but for the purpose of challenging them, not accepting them. Preconceived notions is another way of saying prejudices. We all heve them. I firmly believe in digging deep within oneself for our prejudices so we can challenge them. I place predjudice in a catagory with greed and envy. It's a character flaw we should work to overcome.
I completely agree.....and again, I apologize if I offended you in anyway.
I really just wanted to put the way I feel about it out there to see if I was the only one who felt that way. Also, to possibly discuss it further... :)

meyerpl
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:22 PM
I just hope y'all appreciate that I didn't go with "Everyday People"...

...such an obvious choice really :yawn:

Okay...

...time to re-enter the real world y'all :wavey:

:bolt:
:haha:

SelesFan70
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:22 PM
Eva Longoria: Parker 'the Teacher' When Lights Are Out
Wednesday, March 22, 2006

LOS ANGELES — Eva Longoria, desperate to set the record straight, took to the entertainment-news shows Tuesday to tell the world that her beau, NBA star Tony Parker, is aces in the bedroom.

File it under Too Much Information, but Longoria told "Extra" and "Access Hollywood" that "when the lights are out, he's the teacher," ... and "I'm the student," she added to "Extra."

The revelation came in response to an article in the latest Allure magazine that quotes the "Desperate Housewives" star as saying that in matters of love, she was "the experienced one." International magazines seized the story, concluding — wrongfully, Longoria stressed — that Parker is a lousy lover.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,188754,00.html

http://deephousepage.com/smilies/focking.gif

meyerpl
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:23 PM
I completely agree.....and again, I apologize if I offended you in anyway.
I really just wanted to put the way I feel about it out there to see if I was the only one who felt that way. Also, to possibly discuss it further... :)
I can't ask for any more than that. Thanks. Good discussion.

Aquanetta
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:25 PM
This post gets better and better. I believe it is important that we have these kind of discussions because all too often we get the "everyone is the same" stuff that really doesn't help the situation. I commend everyone in this post for being real on these issues and I hope the positive dialogue can continue.

Exactly.

There are people on this board (I've seen their posts) who think "everyone is the same" and it's nauseating, to put it mildly. They spout the mantra as if on automatic pilot as opposed to it being something they sincerely believe in.

Black Mamba.
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:28 PM
Eva Longoria: Parker 'the Teacher' When Lights Are Out
Wednesday, March 22, 2006

LOS ANGELES — Eva Longoria, desperate to set the record straight, took to the entertainment-news shows Tuesday to tell the world that her beau, NBA star Tony Parker, is aces in the bedroom.

File it under Too Much Information, but Longoria told "Extra" and "Access Hollywood" that "when the lights are out, he's the teacher," ... and "I'm the student," she added to "Extra."

The revelation came in response to an article in the latest Allure magazine that quotes the "Desperate Housewives" star as saying that in matters of love, she was "the experienced one." International magazines seized the story, concluding — wrongfully, Longoria stressed — that Parker is a lousy lover.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,188754,00.html

http://deephousepage.com/smilies/focking.gif


Eva is really killin this dude right now. How is she gonna put his life on blast like that? If she wasn't as fine as she is there is no way Tony would deal with her saying that as well as not telling her grandma that he's half black. He is going to get so much heat in the locker room and on the court.

ampers&
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:31 PM
Eva Longoria: Parker 'the Teacher' When Lights Are Out
Wednesday, March 22, 2006

LOS ANGELES — Eva Longoria, desperate to set the record straight, took to the entertainment-news shows Tuesday to tell the world that her beau, NBA star Tony Parker, is aces in the bedroom.

File it under Too Much Information, but Longoria told "Extra" and "Access Hollywood" that "when the lights are out, he's the teacher," ... and "I'm the student," she added to "Extra."

The revelation came in response to an article in the latest Allure magazine that quotes the "Desperate Housewives" star as saying that in matters of love, she was "the experienced one." International magazines seized the story, concluding — wrongfully, Longoria stressed — that Parker is a lousy lover.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,188754,00.html

http://deephousepage.com/smilies/focking.gif
after all this, why does he even want to be with her??? seriously???? :rolleyes:

M2k
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:39 PM
abuela won't approve of this dude ?? :eek: I mean he complexion is similar to Eva's :shrug: :rolleyes:


I was going to say the same thing. Her skin color is not that different from his:confused: Pobre Abuelita she probably forgot that Mexican culture has roots from africa as well. Many black people stayed(or were left behind) in Mexico after the French left, and many more arrived (usually slaves escaping their owners) because slavery was banned in Mexico. *not that I'm saying Mexico was the garden of eden either* :lol:

M2k
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:49 PM
This picture encapsulates how I feel about the Mexican.



hu?
...about "the Mexican".... (????) :rolleyes: that's right Aquanetta MEXICAN. A beautiful word isn't it?



:tape:

No Name Face
Mar 22nd, 2006, 04:53 PM
Eva Longoria: Parker 'the Teacher' When Lights Are Out
Wednesday, March 22, 2006

LOS ANGELES — Eva Longoria, desperate to set the record straight, took to the entertainment-news shows Tuesday to tell the world that her beau, NBA star Tony Parker, is aces in the bedroom.

File it under Too Much Information, but Longoria told "Extra" and "Access Hollywood" that "when the lights are out, he's the teacher," ... and "I'm the student," she added to "Extra."

The revelation came in response to an article in the latest Allure magazine that quotes the "Desperate Housewives" star as saying that in matters of love, she was "the experienced one." International magazines seized the story, concluding — wrongfully, Longoria stressed — that Parker is a lousy lover.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,188754,00.html

http://deephousepage.com/smilies/focking.gif

wow.