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Brian Stewart
May 4th, 2002, 08:24 PM
I would gather most of us here are the rare/sole tennis fans in their family. So if a friend or family member should happen by when you're watching a match, they have no clue as to what's going on. Thus, they often have an amusing response to what they see/hear on the TV.

(This is a topic that was formerly called "the weirdos". All who contributed there are invited to repost their stories.)

I was watching a telecast of a Grand Slam tournament. Ivan Lendl was about to serve with new balls. As is the custom in tennis, before he hit his first serve, he held the ball up for his opponent to indicate new balls. But, a family member who had happened by saw that and said "Look at that smartass!" He thought Lendl was showing off, as if to say "Take a good look at this ball, because you won't see it after I blast it by you." I had to explain that Lendl was showing GOOD ettiquette, and the custom with the new balls.

Anyone else have any amusing anecdotes? :)

Jakeev
May 4th, 2002, 08:29 PM
:)

irma
May 4th, 2002, 08:29 PM
nope my family never made fun remarkes when I watched tennis, they only laughed me out when I flipped out :sad: ;)

CC
May 4th, 2002, 08:31 PM
I'm the only one in my family who watches tennis. My brother was visiting for a while recently when Venus was playing Henin at Amelia Island. Venus was down 4-0 in the second and was trying to make a comeback. He got so into that if she made a mistake he scolded her and promised to give her some slaps if her ever saw her.:eek: This was surprising since I did not expect such emotions from someone who doesn't even watch tennis.


Another time, I think during the US open they kept showing the Wilson commercial with Venus (the one where she is looking very spiffy in her leather collection). My boyfriend saw it once and commented, "Wow! I love her lips."
I was sitting right there.:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

venusfan
May 4th, 2002, 08:35 PM
"Oh my god, what did she do with her hair?" My mom said when she saw Serena at Nasdaq

theheninfan
May 4th, 2002, 08:41 PM
I was watching the final b/w Justine and Venus at AI. My parents, who aren't tennis fans and don't know much about it, came in and starting watching it with me. (They started watching the match when Venus was down 4-0 in the second set then she made the comeback...I swear...every time my parents watch matches with me, my favorite ends up losing!) Anyway, a shot was called good for Justine, and my mom starting raising cane thinking they had called it out. We had to stop her from yelling...she was kind of embarrased. :)

Gallofa
May 4th, 2002, 09:00 PM
I love watching tennis with my father around, he makes the wildest comments :D - he does not follow tennis at all, but since I have been watching it for over a decade he is familiar with some of the players... he's a fan of Monica Seles (Silis as he pronounces it), whenever she's playing, he'll drop his newspaper and watch a couple of points, pointing out how Silis is so much better than "i can't believe you cheer for her" Arantxa, or "omg she's got a beer tummy" Conchita :p

My friend Ana calls all the players "Kuntochochova" or "Chunchichova" since she knows there's a certain very famous tennis player but can never remember her name. So she'll see Lindsay or Venus and ask me "so, is that kuntochochova?" :D

One of my aunties is rather funny too, she can't figure out how it all works, so she keeps complaining that the "other players" are so mean to Arantxa and throw "bad" balls :D

veryborednow
May 4th, 2002, 09:13 PM
"Why are they wearing shorts under their skirts? what's the point in that?" - my brother

Lleyki
May 4th, 2002, 09:22 PM
I was watching the semi-final Venus vs Martina today and my grandmother, who doesn't know anything about tennis, was watching with me .
When Venus had a matchpoint, on the bottom of the screen stood "Matchpoint Williams" and my grandma said: "That girl has a weird name". I couldn't stop laughing and I had to explain her that her name was Venus and not Matchpoint...lol

venusfan
May 4th, 2002, 09:27 PM
KOOL.. VENUS "MATCHPOINT" WILLIAMS....

Mercury Rising
May 4th, 2002, 09:36 PM
LOL Lleyki :D

My grandmother only watches the matches of Kim or Justine, and at every point made she sais "goal"!

Come-on-kim
May 4th, 2002, 09:51 PM
I was watching the Seles vs Kim match at Miami and my grand-mother every times monica was hitting the ball she was suprised and always said "Ough, how can she scream like that? She can't speak after that. Ough, awful ........ does she always scream like that?"

And some years ago, it was a Monica vs Aranxta at RG final, the door was open and my uncle was in the garden and Monica screamed a lot and loud and my uncle is called Henry and Monica screamed very very loud something like "EENNNRRRYYYYY" and he ran into the house : "What, What happen? why do you call me??"

My aunt and I were totally laughing. We couldn't stop!!!!!

Come-on-kim
May 4th, 2002, 09:52 PM
Originally posted by Noodles
LOL Lleyki :D

My grandmother only watches the matches of Kim or Justine, and at every point made she sais "goal"!

That's funny too!!!!!

Lleyki
May 4th, 2002, 09:55 PM
Originally posted by Come-on-kim
I was watching the Seles vs Kim match at Miami and my grand-mother every times monica was hitting the ball she was suprised and always said "Ough, how can she scream like that? She can't speak after that. Ough, awful ........ does she always scream like that?"

And some years ago, it was a Monica vs Aranxta at RG final, the door was open and my uncle was in the garden and Monica screamed a lot and loud and my uncle is called Henry and Monica screamed very very loud something like "EENNNRRRYYYYY" and he ran into the house : "What, What happen? why do you call me??"

My aunt and I were totally laughing. We couldn't stop!!!!!
ROTFLMAO

Mazza
May 4th, 2002, 10:26 PM
I was watching a Kim match with my nephew and Kim was sticking some balls up her skirt as she does blah blah and cos he's only 5 he said "Marie, why does that girl keep putting balls up her bottom, doesent she want toilet?!" :o I just didn't explain!

LifeWasADisaster
May 4th, 2002, 10:35 PM
Always when I am watching a Hingis match, my mom comes to sit and watch it with me, but she always wants the other player to win - no matter who it is! And she keeps pronouncing her name as 'Higgins'. IT PISSES ME OFF!

Dahveed
May 4th, 2002, 11:02 PM
My mother always comments on the players's fitness. The game is not interesting enough for her, but she always has a word for fashion.

So she would always say: 'Wow Mary Pierce has such big boobs now, she should stop taking those drugs! (ie: creatine)' :o or 'Kournikova is getting more and more muscular, she should be more careful if she still wants to be a model' :D

Brian Stewart
May 4th, 2002, 11:10 PM
This is all good stuff! (Glad it's not just my family. :))

LOL@ "Matchpoint"and "ENNNRRYYYY".

Ryan
May 4th, 2002, 11:21 PM
This may sound offensive to some Williams fans, but my mom NEVER watches tennis, so cut her some slack.


I was watching Hingis be demolished in the Nasdaq Quarters,:sad: and my mom walked in the room. She asked me who I was cheering for, and I said Hingis. When my mom saw the score she said

" well no wonder she's getting whooped! I never knew they let men play against women nowadways!"

I was rolling on the floor laughing my ass off! She had obviously seen the back of Serena, otherwise she couldn't have thought it was a man.:bounce: :bounce:

Monica_Rules
May 4th, 2002, 11:36 PM
OMG some of these are so funny!

Unforetuneately i have nothing to add to the topic:sad:

NJjeff
May 4th, 2002, 11:50 PM
Years ago I was watching the final of the Chase between Martina N and Monica, and some other fans in the crowd were screaming..."Break her Martina...." The only problem was that Martina was the the one serving at the time!!

Zl@tko
May 5th, 2002, 12:01 AM
Cool thread :) and very funny :)

LOL @ Come-on-Kim, Gallofa, Leyki :)

Infiniti2001
May 5th, 2002, 12:07 AM
Funny stuff... Aren't grandmas a trip?? Mine who is a lil old lady from the Caribbean and knows nada about tennis , watched the Wimby finals between Venus and Lindsay with me... She commented about Venus's looks in the french dialect that we speak . it was soooo funny yet I so wanted to knock her out for dissing my girl... Luckily I was too sick to move. No, I won't repeat :P

Brian Stewart
May 5th, 2002, 06:39 PM
More stories! :D

I have a relative who is terrible with names. She's fairly bright, but just happens to mangle people's names. (FE: our Secretary of State is "Coleman" Powell.) She refers to the all-time Wimbledon champ as "Navternova".

I remember when a much younger male relative had an "epiphany". He happened to check out part of a match I was watching. It was quite a few years ago, when pleated skirts were more prevalent. The player at the "bottom" of the TV screen (with her back to the camera) was serving. She threw the ball up, swung her racquet, and the back of her skirt flew up, exposing her tennis panties. A sight we've all seen numerous times. Yet his eyes got real big, and his face lit up with a "Wow!" expression. It was so funny!

Hoops
May 7th, 2002, 03:13 PM
one of the funniest was when we were watching the 1999 French open final;Martina was serving 2-5 down,and my friend Joanne said that Hingis could still win the match.everyone in the room burst out laughing;my friend Joanne got up left the room,slamming the door behind her;i also think she was crying.she hasn`t spoken to me since,but she hasn`t been too well since she has had her nervous breakdown:)

Debbie Foy
May 7th, 2002, 03:33 PM
not funny at time--funny now

miami finals 99 my brother and me at mom and dads' house to do visit for day--dad cathed alzhimers--real bad now at nersing home now, kinda bad then but ats home wif mom--bro and i like tennis so tune on finals for venus and serena--dad sits there doin' nuthin' then asks us why strange black people inhabit his den--dads think tv is what is in room--not know why 'strange" blacks girls at his home--little bit funny...littel sad.... yous guys got my permissions to laugh--i luagh at now

tfannis
May 7th, 2002, 03:48 PM
My mother and I were watching the RG final 1999 Agassi-Medevedev...we were so happy that our fave (Andre, not Andrei) was back at the top after falling out of the top 100..;but in the beginning Agassi was playing like crap...he lost the two first sets and had troubles in the third....my father passed by and so that Andre was losing...he didn't say a word...he just went downstairs to prepare diner...as you all know Agassi still won that match afer a great comeback...with tears of happiness in our eyes we went downstairs to eat...my father had prepared a covered chickenpie (he makes that from time to time and then he cuts out some lettres from the coverage, it takes some time and work to do that properly...normally he writes things as happy birthday or Merry Christmas,...)...this time there was written "Next time better" on the pie...to console us...he still didn't know Andre won...

It isn't funny, it's just sweet I guess :)

Greenout
May 7th, 2002, 05:42 PM
The funniest thing someone said was one of
my former roomates. I was watching
some WTA tennis and he blurted out..

"When does COPS come on again?"

ROTF!!

A friend asked me during 1998 WIMBLEDON week
on TV "So, when does Sabatini play?"

LOL.

Other times... people will pass the room and say
choice comments like...

"Who's that?"
"Kill, Kill!"
"Did you see that? She just gave her a nasty look!"
"I bet they all hate Kournikova"
"Kournikova sucks; doesn't she?"
"What a choke! CHOKE!! "

"What's a Bovina?"
"I bet they all hate the WILLIAMS sisters, don't they?"


Someone even wondered out loud " Is that a boy?"
when a match with Julie Halard Decugis was on.

On Hingis- "Is she going bald?"
"Look at that forehead..it's huge"
"She looks like that doll from the movie; CHUCKY"

wongqks
May 7th, 2002, 05:53 PM
Well I remeber in 1999 in chase championship, me and my friend is watching the match between Mary and Anna, as someone will remember Anna leads a set and they play a tiebreak in teh second, Anna choked really badly on that tiebreak and subsequently lose that set as well, after Anna lose that set my friend who is not even county level in tennis said 'I beat her anyday.'

I think he is a bit naive in thinking that he can beat Anna, I mean come on, he won't win a point unless it is DF

griffin
May 7th, 2002, 06:20 PM
My gf on what she felt was an unflattering outfit Lins was wearing:
"Who let her out of the lockerroom dressed like THAT?"

moon
May 7th, 2002, 06:21 PM
"Did she just pull a ball out her ass?"
A comment from one of my friends while watching tennis during the Miami tournament.

Tratree
May 7th, 2002, 06:53 PM
Originally posted by moon
"Did she just pull a ball out her ass?"
A comment from one of my friends while watching tennis during the Miami tournament.

Winner, hands down:D

ROFL@ Moon:bounce:

PamShriverRockz
May 7th, 2002, 07:07 PM
There must be something about grans and tennis! Mine is hilarious, she's doesn't understand the rules, despite the hundreds of times I've tried to explain.
I was watching Arantxa at Wimbledon around her house one afternoon, and Nan asked me what the score was - I said Arantxa was 15-40 down and Nan replied "Oooo dear, she's all those points down." as if Arantxa had to score 25 single points to win the game! :)
And I've given up trying to get her to pronounce all the player's names correctly!! lol Now she just calls Arantxa - 'The one you like' :)
She also called Ivanisevic a 'swine' for sending down all those aces against Henman!!

My dad also asked me if I was watching porn during an Arantxa/Monica match.... :rolleyes: :rolleyes: (talk about exaggeration! ;) )

gokimmie
May 7th, 2002, 07:56 PM
One of the first tennis matches i watched was on french tv,and lendl was playing,i can't even remember the other guy,i was just a little girl.My dad came in the living room and asked "who's playing"it was deuce and that came on screen in french.....so i responden it's lendl against "égalité"wich means deuce!my dad said no you're wrong...blablabla and i got relly mad and started crying ......

The Crow
May 7th, 2002, 08:08 PM
lmao. It took me a while too to figure out who that egalite guy was :o

The Crow
May 7th, 2002, 08:08 PM
"What's a Bovina?"

lmao :D

Nimi
May 7th, 2002, 08:34 PM
can someone look up in a dictionary the word Bovina??

Amanda
May 7th, 2002, 08:43 PM
"I think that Anna girl is gonna win this time"

Rollo
May 7th, 2002, 08:50 PM
My mom: "Why is she serving to that small box when she has the whole court?"

marsha
May 8th, 2002, 01:45 AM
At first I thought I would not have anything to add to this post (and really I thought it would be boring!) But I found myself ROFL at some of the anaecdotes and It reminded me of a few things:

(1) At the NASDAQ this year, there was an elderly gentleman who was trying to root for Katie Schlukebir (I guess!) and he kept yelling "Come on there, Schlookeygirl!"

(2) People in the stands are my best source actually (my immediate family and friends all know and like tennis -- and all are Arantxa fans or they might not remain so!) but thie was also good -- a couple of years ago (just before Arantxa was to wed Joan Vehils), two women about my age were discussing Arantxa's private life -- and one of them said to the other, "oh, I think it is just disgraceful! Arantxa has left her Vicario husband and is running off with a woman named Joan!" (Joan is a male name and pronounced differently in Barcelona!)

that's all I can think of just now -- but I'll keep thinking! This thread was *FUN*!!!

marsha
May 8th, 2002, 02:18 AM
One of my friends, whose parents are natives of France, once asked me why Monica was so hard on herself. When I asked her what she meant, she said, "Well Monica is yelling "tant pis!" at every shot (which in French means "so bad!" I guess). She was referring to Monica's grunt of course.

Come-on-Kim, I also had someone who thought she was yelling "Henry" as your uncle did. And Debbie Foy, I did laugh at your father thinking the Williams were in the room with him (thanks for your permission to laugh)

J_Migoe
May 8th, 2002, 10:23 AM
I laughed so hard when I was reading some of the posts. This thread is probaby the funniest I've visisted so far.

Anyway.......

When my sister and a cousin of mine first watched a tennis match on TV ( Wimbledon final 2000 Lindsay vs Venus), they giggled uncontrollably every time Venus hit the ball.
At times my sister would roll on the floor wriggling like a pig. They said that Venus' grunt sounded like "someone was poking her 'thingi'". Why does she have to moan like that?" asked my cousin. Of course I was very pissed. I chased them off midway into the match because they were breaking my rythmn of concentration.

The next day when I was lying in my room, to my utter amazement I heard strange noises coming from outside our house in the lawn. I looked out the window and bravo, I saw my sisters standing at the opposite sides of the lawn holding a broom each. They were swinging their brooms in tennis racket styles and were immitating how Venus would run,split and moan.They'd mimick Venus' grunt and then burst out laughing.
I laughed my head off. It was very funny. Now, my sisters are very avid Williams sisters fans.:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

Marilyn
May 8th, 2002, 10:59 AM
"S/He is losing."- My mom talking about my favs whenever she wants to watch other tv programs. :fiery:
"The skirts are wayyyyyyy too short."- My father.

Brian Stewart
May 23rd, 2002, 05:05 PM
LLeyki, did you tell your Grandma that "Matchpoint" has a sister, "Advantage"? :)

One of my family members is familiar with Monica's famous grunting. Any time he hears a player grunt or make noise, he asks "Is that Seles?"

Pureracket
May 23rd, 2002, 05:28 PM
"Do they go inside and get showered and made up before the trophy presentation?" - My mom after Steffi Graf had won one of her zillion tournaments.

Linnie
May 23rd, 2002, 07:08 PM
Not a funny family member, but....

At the 2000 U.S. Open, I was walking into the ladies room, and thought I heard someone being sick. Turns out they were piping in the match on Ashe stadium......it was Monica grunting!

Bright Red
May 23rd, 2002, 07:19 PM
LOL @ clocker's mom's comment.

My co-worker asked me, "Why did she win? Isn't the score 466 to 642?" After seeing the online scoreboard of a three set match.

veryborednow
May 23rd, 2002, 07:37 PM
my brother "isn't anna supposed to be winning?"

Shane54
May 23rd, 2002, 07:43 PM
When my brother was about 7 years old, he was just learning to read. I was watching a match, and he told me that he hoped "Seals" won. Of course it was Seles who was playing. I thought that was cute and funny....

hugetennisfan
May 23rd, 2002, 07:58 PM
I was visiting with my boyfriend's family, and even though they only follow tennis a little, I asked them about their favorite players. His sister likes Venus and Serena, and his dad said he liked Seles and then jokingly Anna K. (Poor Anna!)

Anyway, his mom was rather funny and said that she always cheers for "that little girl who is always running around." I don't know which player she meant, but I suppose either Martina or Justine...

amadeusm
May 23rd, 2002, 08:02 PM
Everytime a player hits an ace, my mother will burst out laughing, as though the point were some kind of insult or slap in the face. It made me think about it and I guess an ace is sort of like that...
She has such an explosive laugh, that, we cannot help but laugh as wellonce she gets started.
Also, whenever I get really involved in a match, and start abusing myself in frustration, my mother will come in and start psychologically ananlyzing what I am doing. It gets to a point where I have to forcibly remove her from the room.

LOL at the Monica and Arantxa porn!

Hermione
May 23rd, 2002, 08:10 PM
"He's not the one you like is he Hannah, he looks a bit...geeky!"
My mum about Sampras during last years U.S Open final

John Inverdale
May 23rd, 2002, 08:19 PM
Originally posted by veryborednow
my brother "isn't anna supposed to be winning?"

:fiery: :fiery: :fiery: :fiery: :fiery: :fiery: :fiery: :fiery: :fiery: :fiery:

your brother needs to be bitch-slapped

:fiery: :fiery: :fiery: :fiery: :fiery: :fiery: :fiery: :fiery: :fiery: :fiery:

kournikovafan13
May 23rd, 2002, 08:26 PM
Last year I was watching the New Haven semi between Venus and Jennifer, and my Mom said about Jennifer, "I don't like her, she's a bitch," because Jenn was all pouting and argueing and stuff.

I was watching Anna one day, and it just so happened that my little sister walked in while Anna was bending over to get a ball:lick: , and my sister screamed "PORN! James is watching PORN!!" My mom came running in like in .00000000001 seconds:)


Rollo: My mom: "Why is she serving to that small box when she has the whole court?"

LOL!:D

VSFan1 aka Joshua L.
May 23rd, 2002, 08:39 PM
This wasn't by me, but by somebody else.

I was at a tournament, and an old couple was looking at the draw sheet and noticed there were 4 "Byes" listed in the draw. The couples stated, "Wow, that Bye family must be pretty proud with all their daughters playing."

;) A classic

gentenaire
May 23rd, 2002, 08:50 PM
My father would always root for Aranxta because she has heavy legs (his words)!

My siblings are usually asking annoying questions like "why do they count 15,30,40? That doesn't make sense." I can only reply "ask the English, they invented the game."

Richie77
May 25th, 2002, 03:07 AM
LOL at all of these!
I was once watching a match that featured Monica. My mom was in the room, and I told her that Monica was playing. She said, "Oh, I can tell...I don't even have to look up!

tenny12
May 25th, 2002, 06:35 AM
This is a great thread!!!!!! hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!

DutchieGirl
May 25th, 2002, 07:50 AM
Originally posted by hugetennisfan
I was visiting with my boyfriend's family, and even though they only follow tennis a little, I asked them about their favorite players. His sister likes Venus and Serena, and his dad said he liked Seles and then jokingly Anna K. (Poor Anna!)

Anyway, his mom was rather funny and said that she always cheers for "that little girl who is always running around." I don't know which player she meant, but I suppose either Martina or Justine...

I would have thought that ASV or Coetzer more match that description! ;)

Brian Stewart
Jul 6th, 2002, 03:28 AM
With the Wimbledon final tomorrow, it brought this one to mind.

We were about to watch the Wimbledon final one year (way before the internet). It was the Eastern US, which is 5 hours behind England. We mentioned that England was 5 hours ahead of us to a relative who had no understanding of time zones. He said, "If you had a friend in England, you could call them and find out who won."

We tried in vain to explain that the match was live. "We're getting it now at 9 AM here, but they're (Brits) getting it now at 2PM there."

"You mean they're getting it after we do?"

"No, no...." He never did understand it, despite several attempts to explain.

V.Melb
Jul 6th, 2002, 04:09 AM
My dad has something against ASV and especially her mother. Every time he saw her mother in the crowd he would exclaim how she stuck her teeth out and looked snobby. He called ASV 'Sanchez Vicarius' - god knows why!? he thought it was funny... most people admired ASV for being tenacious - he hated it!

Anyways - a funny time was Momo vs. Sugiyama...

People yelled 'go amelie' .... and then someone yelled for sugiyama ..."GO SUGAR!"
Everyone laughed! :D

Mitzi
Jul 6th, 2002, 01:12 PM
*At last years Wimbledon (I think) I was watching Martina Hingis' match. My father, who knows nothing about tennis, came in the room and asked why Hingis isn't changing her shirt if it's torn... (Refering to the strange Adidas shirt she used to wear)