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VeeReeDavJCap81
Jun 20th, 2005, 10:49 PM
I need help getting over someone. I have MAJOR feelings for this person...but they just want to be my friend. I've had this problem before, but not like this. I just turned 24, I thought i'd be over the crush faze of my life. HELP!!!!!

CondiLicious
Jun 20th, 2005, 10:58 PM
I was going to start a thread similar to this a few weeks ago. I was crazy about somebody that everyone (both in real life and online) was saying was bad for me and I wanted to stop having the feelings I had for her cause I thought it was wrong. But anyway, I'm with her now and bollocks to the people who don't like her. I like her and I'm the one who matters :)

Unrequited love is horrible though...

BritneySpearsIsHot
Jun 20th, 2005, 10:58 PM
Heard it all before I'm sure, but 'time'

Also, if you feel that bad around them, ween yourself from them. Seeing them all the time, especially if they have relationships, will only make you feel much worse

VeeReeDavJCap81
Jun 20th, 2005, 11:10 PM
Heard it all before I'm sure, but 'time'

Also, if you feel that bad around them, ween yourself from them. Seeing them all the time, especially if they have relationships, will only make you feel much worse

Yup, this person has a relationship. I've know him for almost 2 years...and the feelings have been getting stronger and stronger. I want to seperate myself, but then I'll miss him. :sad:

BritneySpearsIsHot
Jun 20th, 2005, 11:20 PM
Yup, this person has a relationship. I've know him for almost 2 years...and the feelings have been getting stronger and stronger. I want to seperate myself, but then I'll miss him. :sad:

It's hard.

Been in a similar situation.

My partner cheated, I still loved (or thought I did) and carried on 'seeing her' but in the end it destroyed me for ages as she didn't want me.

I'm now with another girl who I marry in August, 3 kids, 4th on the way and I am now happier than I ever believed I would be again.

And by some strange coincidence, I was 24 when the agony began and I'm now 29 (Well I will be in 40 minutes :lol: )

VeeReeDavJCap81
Jun 21st, 2005, 01:11 AM
And by some strange coincidence, I was 24 when the agony began and I'm now 29 (Well I will be in 40 minutes :lol: )


LOL!!!!

tennisIlove09
Jun 21st, 2005, 01:19 AM
just try to seperate yourself from the person. it's hard when you let yourself fall and the other person doesnt have the same feelings. just give yourself time and space, and you'll be fine.

SM
Jun 21st, 2005, 01:30 AM
i know how unrequited love feels. i can empathise. :(

manu
Jun 21st, 2005, 01:37 AM
I haven't been in the situation myself, but I know a person who's had to get over me :tape: That really is an awful feeling for that person too by the way, but of course more difficult for the one in your situation!

I'll repeat what others have been saying in this thread: time is the best recipe :angel: And not seeing each other during all this time is the best recipe too I'm afraid... You really don't want to see yourself angry, jealous, frustrated, etc by keeping contact with this person and knowing everything about his private life. Or feeling emprisoned by getting those feelings back again and again. Please don't do that to yourself... There's no 100% pain-free way to get trough this I'm afraid, but the most effective and pain-free way is definitely the seperate way! Talk to friends about it, have a laugh, immerse yourself into work/hobby/something that totally sucks you up and finally, when you feel like you're really moving on, lay your eye on other victims ;) Cheer up, you'll get over it sooner than you think, I'm sure!

Wigglytuff
Jun 21st, 2005, 01:51 AM
I need help getting over someone. I have MAJOR feelings for this person...but they just want to be my friend. I've had this problem before, but not like this. I just turned 24, I thought i'd be over the crush faze of my life. HELP!!!!!

i think i have been where you are and it was not pretty. i think the most important thing to realize is that its done, there is nothing there.

do things that you like to do. everyone says to hang out with friends and that is important. also do things that you like to do, alone. rollerblading taking pics and so on.

but also it can take time. a few day weeks or months. either way you need to care for yourself and give yourself the time that you need.

SM
Jun 21st, 2005, 01:59 AM
i also hate it when its the reversal and someone likes u , u like them too but just not on the level of wanting a r'ship. i mean how do u say NO without hurting someone?

Barrie_Dude
Jun 21st, 2005, 02:02 AM
The truth is that I am still not quite over my first love and that was in excess of 25 years ago! She still lives in my heart.

LesViolettes
Jun 21st, 2005, 02:44 AM
Repress, honey! Just keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings.

(Maybe Melissa Manchester isn't the best shrink.)

CC
Jun 21st, 2005, 03:32 AM
Delete them from your call list.

AjdeNate!
Jun 21st, 2005, 03:34 AM
stalk them and beat them into submission. life's a game, play to win.

BigB08822
Jun 21st, 2005, 03:35 AM
Don't be around them so much! Avoid situations where you are drinking together because alcohol will really bring out those thoughts and feelings.

Start sleeping with someone even hotter!

Keith
Jun 21st, 2005, 04:37 AM
Start sleeping with someone even hotter!

That is really good advice. And if the sex is really good, then you'll fantasize about the great sex with someone you don't really like. It helps!

Denise4925
Jun 21st, 2005, 05:47 AM
I need help getting over someone. I have MAJOR feelings for this person...but they just want to be my friend. I've had this problem before, but not like this. I just turned 24, I thought i'd be over the crush faze of my life. HELP!!!!!
Time heals all wounds. The first step in getting over someone is getting with someone else. Move on.

VeeReeDavJCap81
Jun 21st, 2005, 07:14 AM
Thanks for all the great advice everyone :wavey:

~ The Leopard ~
Jun 21st, 2005, 07:55 AM
Sorry, but if your emotions were deep, you'll never get over this person. As Barrie_Dude says, it doesn't work like that. But you'll learn to live with it. As you get older you accumulate mental demons, but you also find many other people to love. It all kind of balances out.

Four bits of advice:

1. Don't spoil the friendship by either cutting the person off or harassing them. If the person really likes you as a friend you'll both be able to accept the lop-sided feelings some time further down the track and have a good friendship. You might even be able to joke about it.

2. A legitimate holiday away from the person might help though. Take a vacation. Visit your parents. Throw yourself into a major work project. Do a course of study. Or something.

3. Some easy non-committed sex is a great painkiller if you know anyone appropriate - someone you'd like to fuck who'd also like to fuck you, but neither of you is looking for something long-term with the other. From past experience I totally swear by this. But be careful. Don't go breaking someone else's heart.

4. Ultimately, you need to find someone else to love. In that sense, do move on. Don't grab someone on the rebound, but do look for someone else. You won't be happy until there is requited love in your life.

selking
Jun 21st, 2005, 08:00 AM
Thats what i'm doing too. maybe.... but yea don't lose, don't let this person get the best of you.

Mr_Molik
Jun 21st, 2005, 09:11 AM
a similar thing happened to me a couple of months ago. i got with a guy at a party and totally thought i was in love with him but he only wanted to be friends. at the time i couldnt bear the thought of never being with him but eventually i got over him and now i just laugh at it. i hate to agree with denise :o but time heals all wounds.

James
Jun 21st, 2005, 09:55 AM
I know it can be hard, but time will mostly heal the wound. I had a major crush on a guy a year back and I unfortunately still see him every day at work, but it;s getting easier and it helps that he is nice.

-cata-
Jun 21st, 2005, 06:26 PM
Sorry, but if your emotions were deep, you'll never get over this person. As Barrie_Dude says, it doesn't work like that. But you'll learn to live with it. As you get older you accumulate mental demons, but you also find many other people to love. It all kind of balances out.

Four bits of advice:

1. Don't spoil the friendship by either cutting the person off or harassing them. If the person really likes you as a friend you'll both be able to accept the lop-sided feelings some time further down the track and have a good friendship. You might even be able to joke about it.

2. A legitimate holiday away from the person might help though. Take a vacation. Visit your parents. Throw yourself into a major work project. Do a course of study. Or something.

3. Some easy non-committed sex is a great painkiller if you know anyone appropriate - someone you'd like to fuck who'd also like to fuck you, but neither of you is looking for something long-term with the other. From past experience I totally swear by this. But be careful. Don't go breaking someone else's heart.

4. Ultimately, you need to find someone else to love. In that sense, do move on. Don't grab someone on the rebound, but do look for someone else. You won't be happy until there is requited love in your life.

:yeah:

Letting go/getting over someone is something you have to work at every day.... it sucks and it hurts but eventually goes away.

When it happened to me I had the luck of meeting someone just a few months later so that helped me ...

mandy7
Jun 21st, 2005, 06:27 PM
i'm all for rebounding with even hotter guys :devil:

Helen Lawson
Jun 21st, 2005, 06:31 PM
Become an alcoholic. Alcohol solves all your problems.

skanky~skanketta
Jun 21st, 2005, 06:34 PM
i wish i could say i know, but i've never been on the receiving end before.:tape: well, once, but we ended up together anyway and i never wanted to get over him.

but i think you should just think of it this way. if he doesn't want to give you a chance to give what you're offering, it really is his loss.

and that wasn't just something i said to say. it IS true. it really is their loss if they dont give it a shot.

Andy T
Jun 21st, 2005, 06:41 PM
If it hurts to be with them, you have to cut them out of your life. Totally. No contact at all. Change channels. It may take 6 months, it may take a year, two, three, five. It'll hurt like hell but you will get over them.

AjdeNate!
Jun 21st, 2005, 07:15 PM
Become an alcoholic. Alcohol solves all your problems.
:yeah:

Denise4925
Jun 21st, 2005, 08:05 PM
a similar thing happened to me a couple of months ago. i got with a guy at a party and totally thought i was in love with him but he only wanted to be friends. at the time i couldnt bear the thought of never being with him but eventually i got over him and now i just laugh at it. i hate to agree with denise :o but time heals all wounds.
I hate for you to agree with me. :o

Denise4925
Jun 21st, 2005, 08:06 PM
Become an alcoholic. Alcohol solves all your problems.
:haha: :haha:

jenny161185
Jun 21st, 2005, 11:47 PM
I agree with Helen Lawson except don t ring / text them when your drunk! no that i have!!!!

Munchen
Jun 22nd, 2005, 12:10 AM
I hope all goes well with you :)

Goodluck! :D