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miffedmax
Jun 3rd, 2005, 02:20 PM
WTA Flight 2005 is now boarding . . .

(Venus sits looking out of window. Enter Sesil with flight bag)
Sesil: Mind if I sit here?

Venus: I'm sorry, this flight is for WTA players only . . .

Sesil: :rolleyes: I AM a WTA player, I kicked your ass, remember?

Venus: Kicked my ass? I don't remember getting my ass kicked, and I sure don't know who you are.

Sesil: Whatever. (she takes seat in another aisle).

(Kim is seated near the front. Amelie sits beside her)

Amelie: Hey, Kim. How do you go about defecting to Belgium?

Kim: What?

Amelie: Well, I figure if I'm Belgian, then the FO won't be my home tournament, and I won't choke. And I wouldn't even have to learn another language.

Kim: I don't know. Being Belgian, you know, hasn't done me any, you know, good in Grand Slams, you know. Hey, where's Mary?

Amelie: Haven't you heard? She's playing in the Finals against Justine!

Kim: You're kidding! She's like, you know, even older than Lindsay!

Lindsay: Hey, I heard that!

Amelie: Where's our choke buddy Lena D.?

Kim: She's, you know, off with her mommy.

(Enter Lena D dressed as a flight attendant)

Amelie: What's up with the outfit?

Lena D: Mommy says I should start thinking about a new career. So I'm a part-time flight attendant. Can I get you something to drink?

Kim: I'd like a beer.

Amelie: Could I get some Lourdes water? Apparrently that's all Mary's drinking these days.

Lindsay: Hey, I'd like some of that too. (Thinks to herself "Cause Lord knows it's going to take a miracle to win this stupid tournament.)

Lena D. I think all we have is Evian, but I'll ask Mommy.

(As Lena D. head back to the galley, she nearly collides with Lena L.)

Lena D: What a lovely pair of tennis rackets. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. Those are your ears.

Lena L. Ha ha. Good one. Did your Mom tell you to say that?

Lena D: Mommy's not the boss of me. I was out until partying last night, all the way to 10 o'clock!

(Mommy Vera's head pokes in from the first class cabin)

Mommy Vera: Hey! These champagne glasses don't just refill themselves you know!

(Lena D. scampers off like a scared puppy).

(Enter Masha, with entourage)
Okay, just set those bags of fertilizer and grass seed on the seats.

Sesil: What's with all the gardening supplies?

Masha: We are going to make sure every court We play is nice, lush green grasss. Queen Masha is not amused by clay.

Sesil: I am so going to kick your ass . . .

Masha: Ha, ha. Go away little girl, you bother us. Valet, bring us some more endorsement contracts to sign. Court Secretary, draft a note to our sister the Queen of Englad that we will be happy to take tea with her next Thursday. Court Historian, please research another 100 reasons that the French is not really a Grand Slam as we hate to lose in Grand Slams. And have that flight attendant fetch us some M&Ms, no green ones, and a Diet Coke.

(Queen Masha's lackeys transform a seat into a throne. She sits.)

(Enter Lena D with a tray. As she bends over to give Queen Masha, the tray slips from her grasp, spilling candy and cola all over the royal lap)

Masha: Ignorant Russian peasant, you did that on purpose!

Lena D: (bursting into tears) I can't help it! I just don't know how to serve!

Captain (over intercom) Please prepare for take off, and we hope you enjoy today's inflight movie, "Spring Fever" with Susan Anton and Carling Bassett . . ."

auntie janie
Jun 3rd, 2005, 02:26 PM
:lol: Great stuff :D

Andy_
Jun 3rd, 2005, 02:26 PM
Masha: Ignorant Russian peasant, you did that on purpose!

Lena D: (bursting into tears) I can't help it! I just don't know how to serve!
"

:haha: :lol: Omg, that killed me! But the whole scene is really funny, great job miffedmax! :D

per4ever
Jun 3rd, 2005, 02:30 PM
Masha: Ignorant Russian peasant, you did that on purpose!

Lena D: (bursting into tears) I can't help it! I just don't know how to serve!


this one is just brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :haha:

Doublebackhand
Jun 3rd, 2005, 02:32 PM
:bigclap: good one!

felipe2004
Jun 3rd, 2005, 02:37 PM
Very nice ;)

Knizzle
Jun 3rd, 2005, 02:42 PM
(Enter Lena D with a tray. As she bends over to give Queen Masha, the tray slips from her grasp, spilling candy and cola all over the royal lap)

Masha: Ignorant Russian peasant, you did that on purpose!

Lena D: (bursting into tears) I can't help it! I just don't know how to serve!



:haha:

pigam
Jun 3rd, 2005, 02:44 PM
:lol: good to have a laugh in between studying. thanks ;)

Cam'ron Giles
Jun 3rd, 2005, 02:46 PM
:haha: :haha:

urklerlay
Jun 3rd, 2005, 02:46 PM
miffedmax -

great stuff! double thumbs up!

SilK
Jun 3rd, 2005, 02:53 PM
the Lena D not knowing to serve part cracked me up as well!

good one :yeah: :lol:

RAA
Jun 3rd, 2005, 02:57 PM
hilarious!!!

LefandePatty
Jun 3rd, 2005, 02:57 PM
:haha: :yeah:

Mathijs
Jun 3rd, 2005, 03:05 PM
Great stuff Max :lol: the whole story cracked me up :haha:

SelesFan70
Jun 3rd, 2005, 03:08 PM
:lol: Cute story...and that movie with Carling Bassett was called "Spring Break" I'm almost sure of it. I actually saw it in a theater. :tape:

treufreund
Jun 3rd, 2005, 03:13 PM
Nope, Masha love green as grass M&M's. It's the red ones that bedevil her. ;)

volta
Jun 3rd, 2005, 03:17 PM
(Enter Lena D with a tray. As she bends over to give Queen Masha, the tray slips from her grasp, spilling candy and cola all over the royal lap)

Masha: Ignorant Russian peasant, you did that on purpose!

Lena D: (bursting into tears) I can't help it! I just don't know how to serve!
:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: this part is brilliant :haha:

Taz Warrior
Jun 3rd, 2005, 03:18 PM
:haha: :haha:

ginger_fish668
Jun 3rd, 2005, 03:21 PM
:lol: Very funny. I really enjoyed it. :)

Shenay La Soul
Jun 3rd, 2005, 03:34 PM
Nicely done.

udachi Elena
Jun 3rd, 2005, 03:41 PM
THe no serve line is CLASSIC! but the whole thing is really good!!

Dementinator
Jun 3rd, 2005, 03:45 PM
hehe poor Lena! she can tip drinks over my lap anytime she wants!!

Davenselesport
Jun 3rd, 2005, 05:07 PM
Hahaha thats awesome...
but Elena is not that much of a 'mommy's girl'... although I did watch her mother give Elena the cheek-pinch after she beat Patty in Charleston...

Cariaoke
Jun 3rd, 2005, 05:19 PM
the serving part was brilliant! :rolls: :rolls:

ceiling_fan
Jun 4th, 2005, 04:38 AM
haha that is really good stuff!! :lol: keep it comin'!

Derek.
Jun 4th, 2005, 04:48 AM
OMG! The Lena D serving thing is hilarious!!!!! :D :haha:

azmad_88
Jun 4th, 2005, 04:51 AM
LenaD serving is funny for me too

tenn_ace
Jun 4th, 2005, 04:55 AM
:worship:

Odd
Jun 4th, 2005, 05:02 AM
Very funny. Thanks for that.:worship: :worship:

Billy Moonshine
Jun 4th, 2005, 05:10 AM
Ha Ha! Thanksa bunch miffed max, much hilarity indeed!

Chunchun
Jun 4th, 2005, 05:25 AM
max :haha:

RVD
Jun 4th, 2005, 05:37 AM
:haha: :haha: Brilliant work!! Especially the end. :lol: :yeah: :yeah:

Prizeidiot
Jun 4th, 2005, 06:45 AM
Hilarious!!!!

Someone funny should keep the dialogue going....

peanuts
Jun 4th, 2005, 09:34 AM
:haha:

flyingmachine
Jun 4th, 2005, 09:39 AM
:haha:

TatiAnnahølic
Jun 4th, 2005, 09:50 AM
:lol:

Lemonskin.
Jun 4th, 2005, 09:54 AM
Lena D: (bursting into tears) I can't help it! I just don't know how to serve!
:haha:

hingis-seles
Jun 4th, 2005, 11:35 AM
:haha: Good stuff!

xan
Jun 4th, 2005, 12:20 PM
:lol: Really good!

Here's a brief addition....

Patty: Come on Lena D. I know you can't serve, but this is ridiculous. I've been waiting half an hour for my orange Juice!

Lena D (enters flustered, with an overflowing tray): I'm sorry. I'm sorry! (Hands out drinks)

Sveta: It was worse when Mary Pierce had this job. Every time she served a drink, she'd have to walk round the plane, re-do her hair, then stand like a stork for seven minutes before she'd serve again.

Kim: (Takes a drink, gulps it down, and starts coughing and spluttering)

Maria: Slap her quickly! She's choking again!

Anastasia: I've been waiting 45 minutes for a Bloody Mary!

Lindsay: That's about how long I waited for her to serve too!

Vera: I don't want a drink. I'm too depressed. Why were the Paris crowd all booing me?

Venus: Because they didn't have any rocks!

Vera (wails).

Kim: That's so cruel!

Mary: Yes. they should have provided some rocks.

xan
Jun 4th, 2005, 07:15 PM
Beump!

Ceze
Jun 4th, 2005, 07:19 PM
hehe poor Lena!

:lol: Lena D or Lena L? ;)

Staticbeef
Jun 4th, 2005, 07:20 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: What about Mary, she should be onboard with that funny looking tray she won

^bibi^
Jun 4th, 2005, 07:21 PM
wonderful

Staticbeef
Jun 4th, 2005, 07:29 PM
wonderful
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Doc
Jun 5th, 2005, 11:19 AM
Lena D (enters flustered, with an overflowing tray): I'm sorry. I'm sorry! (Hands out drinks)

Sveta: It was worse when Mary Pierce had this job. Every time she served a drink, she'd have to walk round the plane, re-do her hair, then stand like a stork for seven minutes before she'd serve again.

Kim: (Takes a drink, gulps it down, and starts coughing and spluttering)

Maria: Slap her quickly! She's choking again!

Anastasia: I've been waiting 45 minutes for a Bloody Mary!

Lindsay: That's about how long I waited for her to serve too!

Vera: I don't want a drink. I'm too depressed. Why were the Paris crowd all booing me?

Venus: Because they didn't have any rocks!

Vera (wails).

Kim: That's so cruel!

Mary: Yes. they should have provided some rocks.

:haha:

Shonami Slam
Jun 5th, 2005, 11:40 AM
GREAT STUFF!!!
we should have a tennis stand-up cpmedy night!
:worship:

DEETHELICK
Jun 5th, 2005, 11:56 AM
Max, superb! :)

Especially Elena D not being able to serve :sad: :D :D